I’ve seen five different authors take down, or prepare to take down, their posted works on Ao3 this week. At the same time, I’ve seen several people wishing there was more new content to read. I’ve also seen countless posts by authors begging for people to leave comments and kudos.
People tell me I am a big name fan in my chosen fandom. I don’t quite get that but for the purposes of this post, let’s roll with it. On my latest one shot, less than 18% of the people who read it bothered to hit the kudos button. Sure, okay, maybe that one sort of sucked. Let’s look at the one shot posted before that - less than 16% left kudos. Before that - 10%, and then 16%. I’m not even going to get into the comments. Let’s just say the numbers drop a lot. I’m just looking at one shots here so we don’t have to worry about multiple hits from multiple chapters, people reading previous chapters over, etc. And if I am a BNF, that means other people are getting significantly less kudos and comments.
Fandom is withering away because it feels like people don’t care about the works that are posted. Why should I go to the trouble of posting my stories if no one reads them, and of the people who do read them, less than a fifth like them? Even if you are not a huge fan of the story, if it kept your attention long enough for you to get to the bottom, go ahead and mash that kudos button. It’s a drop of encouragement in a big desert.
TL;DR: Passively devouring content is killing fandom.
You know, kudos and comments are much beloved by all esp. yrs truly, but I have to say: I’ve been posting fic for 20 years, and I have never in my entire life had a story stay above a 1:9 kudos to hits ratio (or comments to hits, back when kudo wasn’t an option). Usually they don’t stay above 1:10, once they’ve been around for a few weeks.
I also have a working background in online marketing. In social media 1:10 is what you would call a solid engagement score, when people actually care about your product (as opposed to “liking” your Facebook page so they could join a contest or whatever). If BNFs are getting 1:5 - and I do sometimes see it - that is sky-high engagement. Take any celebrity; take Harry Styles, who has just under 30M followers and doesn’t tweet all that often. He regularly gets 3-400K likes, 1-200K retweets. I’ve seen him get up to just under 1M likes on a tweet. That’s a 1:30 engagement ratio, for Harry Styles, and though some of you guys enjoy my fics and have said so, I don’t think you have as lasting a relationship with my stories as Harry Styles’s fans do with him. XD;
Again, this is not to say we, as readers, should all go home and not bother to kudo or comment or engage with fic writers. That definitely is a recipe for discouraging what you want to see in future. But this is not the first post I’ve seen that suggests a 20% kudo ratio is the equivalent of yelling into the void, and I’m worried that we as writers are discouraging ourselves because our expectations are out of whack.
I think about this a lot, because it’s important to know what a realistic goal to expect from an audience is, even though I admit it definitely is kind of depressing when you look at the numbers. I was doing reading on what sort of money you can expect to make from a successful webcomic, and the general rule of thumb seems to be that if your merchandising is meshing well with your audience, about 1% will give you merch. I imagine ‘subscribe to patreon’ also falls in this general range.
Stuff that is ONLY available for dollars are obviously going to have a different way of measuring this, but when it comes to ‘If people can consume something without engaging back in any fashion (hitting a like button, buying something, leaving a comment)’ the vast majority will.
And as a creator that is frustrating but as a consumer it’s pretty easy to see how it happens. I have gotten steadily worse at even liking posts, much less leaving comments on ones I enjoy, since I started using tumblr. It’s very difficult to engage consistently. I always kudo on any fanfic I read and comment on the vast majority, but then again I don’t read a lot of fanfic, if you are someone who browses AO3 constantly/regularly for months or years, I could see how it’s easy to stop engaging. I don’t remember to like every YT video or tumblr fanart I see, much less comment on them.
When we are constantly consuming free content it’s hard to remember to engage with it or what that engagement means to the creators. And lol, honestly that sucks. Certainly as consumers we should be better about it. But also like, as a creator be kinder to yourself by setting a realistic bar of what you can achieve.
And IMO, if numbers matter to you (kudos, comments, etc) be honest about the fact that you CAN improve those things by marketing yourself better. The ‘I just produced my art and put it out there and got insanely popular because it was just so brilliant’ is less than a one a million chance. Lots of amazing content is overlooked every day because there is a lot of good content and a metric fuckton of mediocre to bad content. You can only SORT of judge the quality of your work based on the audience it generates, but if what you WANT is an audience there is way, way, WAY more you can be doing than simply producing whatever you immediately feel like. Marketing yourself is a skill and if you want the benefits of it you have to practice it.
I have a professional background in internet marketing as my day job and a moderate hobby business. My definition for “moderate” is “it pays for itself, keeps me in product, and occasionally buys groceries.”
In the day job, which is for an extremely large global company, there are entire teams of people whose entire purpose of employment is to ensure a 3% conversion rate. That’s it. That is for a Fortune 100 company: the success metric is for 3% of all visitors to a marketing web site to click the “send me more info” link.
My moderate business that pays for itself has a 0.94% conversion rate of views to orders. Less than 1%, and it’s still worth its time – and this is without me bothering to do any marketing beyond instagram and tumblr posts with new product.
I know it feels like no one is paying attention to you and you’re wasting your time if you don’t get everyone clicking kudos or commenting but I promise, I PROMISE, you are doing fantastically, amazingly well with your 10% rate. You probably aren’t going to go viral AND THAT’S FINE. You’re only hurting yourself if you’re expecting a greater return – don’t call yourself a failure, because you’re NOT. You’re just looking at it the wrong way. I promise, you’re lovely just the way you are.
I keep track of what stories are doing well based on the reading to kudos ratio. I aim for close to 10%…and a story that hits between 5% and 10% kudos, to me, is considered a success. That means 10% of all readers liked the story enough to slap the kudos button. For me - that’s a big deal. Enough to struggle with writers block, re-writes, edits, writing when I’m tired, etc etc etc.
A story with a low kudos ration may get taken down as a “not enough liked it to deal with the stress of writing it.”
I just got some people interested in a story I haven’t touched in 2 years. I checked its kudos ration. It’s almost 7% on a self-insert. Damn. I should work on that story. See?
And oddly enough - sometimes I look not at total hits or kudos, but a kudo ratio to see if a long story is worth trying out. Because you may have low numbers, but if you’re hitting close to 10%…I’mma give that story a solid chance and 99% of the time add to that kudos ratio because that means 10% of the readership loved it.
I think…no, I know that I don’t understand marketing numbers well. I know that 10% kudos ratio seems low. Especially since hitting that kudos button is so easy. But then I think about stories I’ve read where I haven’t hit the kudos button and yeah…ok…I get it. I’m guilty of it too. We all are.
So hey - kudos to the people who leave me kudos.
CAKE to the people who leave me a comment. Even if it’s just a whole bunch of <3 <3 <3 <3.
Also, do remember that if people keep coming back and re-reading your fic multiple times, that can also artificially lower your Kudos ratio. There are a lot of things that can result in it not being as high as you’d like. But yeah, if my Kudos:Hits ratio hits over .05 I figure I’m doing pretty damn well. And even my best fics, the ones that got near that 10% mark especially when I first published them, have had that ratio diminish over time due to new readers, who may still kudos at a nearly-10% rate, but also due to old readers who come back and can’t leave another kudos. Slowly the ratio slips downward, but that’s okay. As long as somebody still likes it, I’ll leave it up. :)
Title: We Could Have (Fallen in Love)
Pairing: Gyukwan (Mingyu x Seungkwan)
Length: 6,986 words
Summary: Seungkwan thought he was out of his mind to fall for someone like Mingyu, but it turned out he was just out of time.
Everyday feels like a Monday to Seungkwan.
In the aspect that Monday meant the dread of waking up from such a nice, relaxing Sunday off from work and a slap back into the reality of constant routines that consisted of getting ready for work, working, and getting off from work. He was in no rush when his alarm rang at the side of his bed on the desktop he would eventually clean. The annoying and constant beep were what motivated him to turn it off and sit up in bed.
Seungkwan left the coffee machine on with the mug his best friend, Choi Hansol, gifted him for his birthday as he was humming to himself in the shower. After the quick rinse, he dressed up in his usual work attire—white dress shirt, black dress pants, Oxfords (with brogues), and his messenger bag. With his coffee mug finished and in the sink, he headed out from his quiet, little abode to the loud, large city that surrounded him.
He took his usual route as he checked his phone with his left hand as his right one was shoved into his pocket. Jihoon emailed him that there was a meeting this morning at ten o’clock sharp, making the Jeju boy grimace as he quickened his pace a bit. He wasn’t used to cities and their fast pace, they were nothing like his hometown. Seungkwan couldn’t do anything about it though, there was no point in complaining. He had no time to complain anyway.
With his foot through the meeting room of his company building in the nick of time, Jihoon nodded as he motioned Seungkwan to sit down while he started his presentation.
He sat down next to Hansol as he shuffled quickly to open his laptop to the page of notes that he had made—bullshitted— the night before about the last customers with the problems and solutions he had encountered.
“You’re usually not this late,” Hansol whispered as he kept his eyes on his own laptop while he was typing what Jihoon was saying. “Subway jam?”
“Backed up more than usual,” Seungkwan sighed quietly as he began typing as well. “How were your clients last week?”
“They were alright,” Hansol shrugged. “I had to reboot this one therapist’s whole hard drive and that took me the whole day on Wednesday.”
“Yikes.”
“It wasn’t too bad. He paid for my lunch and even offered to buy me dinner, which, of course, I gladly accepted. I can’t deny free food.”
Seungkwan rolled his eyes.
“Oh, shush. It wasn’t a date. You know I’m not into that scene.”
With Jihoon quickly wrapping up his presentation—which was surprisingly only twenty slides compared to his usual thirty—he assigned his employees their clients for the week. Seungkwan left to go to his desk as Lee Chan, one of their newer employees, complained about one of the clients. Jihoon sighed and nodded before patting Seungkwan’s back at a job well done for last week’s performance.
“Keep it up,” Jihoon whispered with a smile before he continued to walk.
Seungkwan sat at his desk and looked at his client’s name for a moment of silence before pulling up his email and proceeded typing up an introduction before listing the appointment times.
Kim Mingyu
Cookbook Developer
Surprisingly, the client replied to the email within the next ten minutes. (Seungkwan’s previous client was rather bad at responding to emails, hence his need to call them to realize that they were unable to attend to their emails because of their computer. He made sure to attend to the client immediately.)
They scheduled for an appointment the day after tomorrow, giving Seungkwan enough time to ready himself as he began scheduling two other appointments following it. They were minor problems since he could access the computers’ remotely, but he preferred to do it days apart and one at a time.
Mingyu’s problem seemed more severe than usual, a case of a virus that infiltrated the user’s hard drive and deleted all the files. Though it was not uncommon, Seungkwan rarely had such cases.
He whined when Hansol threw a piece of paper at him over the cubicle. He pouted and threw it back over as he stood up to look at Hansol. “First of all, that’s rude,” Seungkwan scrunched his nose. “Second of all, why?”
“One, I’m your best friend, I do this all the time.” Hansol grinned as the other rolled his eyes. “Two, this client just emailed me again asking if I wanted to join him for lunch—what do I do?”
“Don’t you always accept free food?”
“When there’s nothing attached.” Hansol stood up as he watched Seungkwan sit back down at his seat. He leaned over and watched his friend type away, still waiting for a solution.
“You’re basically friends with benefits but the benefit is a meal.”
“True, that sounds very accurate. But… I feel bad making him pay again... especially since I know that it’s not because I just rebooted his driver.”
“Well,” Seungkwan stopped typing to look at his dumbfounded co-worker, “let’s just discuss this over lunch.”
“So you two already did it…” Seungkwan glared at Hansol as the spoon fell from his right hand and slipped into his bowl of soup. He grumbled as Hansol just rubbed the back of his neck and tried to reason it out while trying to grab the spoon out of the broth.
“It… just one thing led to another—”
“I really thought you just got food and then he fell for you. But, no, you made things more complicated by actually sleeping with him? Hansol Vernon Choi—”
Hansol whined as he picked his bowl up and slurped it loudly as an attempt to tune out Seungkwan’s lecture. There was no use though since Seungkwan paused and continued when Hansol put the bowl down. “I just wanted to vent, I didn’t want a lecture…”
Seungkwan rolled his eyes as he continued to swirl around the noodles in his bowl that was reaching room temperature. “You need a lecture, you dumbass.”
“Well, what do I do then?”
“Do you like him?”
“I don’t know.”
“What did you say to him in the email?”
Hansol blinked. “Huh?”
“You replied back to the lunch email… right?” The silence and blank expression on Hansol’s face was enough for Seungkwan to stand up and flick his friend’s forehead across the table. “You really are an ass. You should make it up to him.”
Hansol grumbled as he rubbed his forehead and nodded. “Fine, fine. I’ll see if we can do dinner tonight… what about you, Boo?”
“What about me?”
“Anything going on in that part of your life?”
“My love life is dryer than the stale bread I found under your couch last Saturday.” Hansol snickered even though that was a direct attack at him and Seungkwan shrugged. “Guess it’s not my time yet?”
Hansol shrugged back. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll have a thing with your client too.”
-
Seungkwan arrived at the client’s address the next day five ‘til noon. Walking in quietly, he was surprised by how brightly lit the hallway and foyer were, compared to what he was used to with his dimly lit apartment and office. The assistant at the desk led him down the hallway filled with various pictures of whom appeared the be his client with chefs.
He eventually was on his own after the assistant knocked on the door and left, leaving Seungkwan a bit uneasy being so deep in a building he was unfamiliar with. His body jolted when he heard the gears of the doorknob turn and it opened as a man about the same stature as him stood before him and pushed up his glasses over the bridge of his nose.
They greeted each other formally with a polite bow and handshake before Seungkwan was invited into Mingyu’s workspace. Just as the rest of the building, it was brightly lit, something Seungkwan was beginning to envy. The natural light from the window that stretched from the ceiling to the floor lit the books sprawled over Mingyu’s desk as he unlocked his desktop for Seungkwan to see the problem.
“I haven’t been able to access my files since three days ago,” Mingyu ruffled his hair before coughing and fixing his glasses once more. “It’s a good thing the book draft isn’t due anytime soon but, y’know, the sooner the files can be recovered, the better.”
Seungkwan nodded as Mingyu stood up from his seat and Seungkwan sat down, scooting the chair much closer than originally. Mingyu leaned in with his left hand on the desk as Seungkwan placed a thumbdrive into the monitor and began installing the company’s software. Mingyu nodded as Seungkwan explained what the software does with its algorithms that look into every piece of information left on the hard drive to see where the files were physically stored.
But he wasn’t paying much attention to that. His eyes were caught by how the sun that filtered into the room lit Seungkwan’s hair to a soft beige, much like latte photos he shot last week. The way the worker’s hair swirled reminded him of the caramel swirl that was also prevalent in the photoshoot. It was a habit that only photographers in his field could relate to, but Mingyu’s comparisons had him entranced to Seungkwan.
“So, what exactly do you do?” Seungkwan coughed as he kept scrolling through the coding on the screen in front of him to break the awkward silence.
Mingyu shook his head to fall back into reality as he coughed in reply. “Oh, I’m a cookbook developer.”
Seungkwan glanced over and blinked in confusion, the two of them sharing a quick glance, before he quickly looked back at the screen. “So… you take pictures?”
“Not only that. I work with chefs, try their food, and watch them create their recipes step-by-step in order to make it easy to follow for average kitchen experimenters.”
“You sound like you’ve answered that question before,” Seungkwan snickered as Mingyu smiled back and joined in. “That sounds pretty cool though.”
“Yeah, it’s not a common job to have. But it is pretty nice.”
“Seems nicer than my job,” Seungkwan sighed.
“But you make a good amount of money, right? I bet you have a lot of clients as well since you guys are a software company.”
“I suppose. It puts bread on the table, but it isn’t anything exciting.”
Mingyu tapped the pads of his fingers on his thigh as he leaned over a bit more, close enough to properly observe the monitor and computer technician but far enough to keep a respectable distance. He wasn’t really sure why, but there was a comforting aura that Seungkwan emitted that filled Mingyu’s office space with something undeniably yet unknowingly serene.
Seungkwan leaned back in the seat as he watched the monitor restart and Mingyu gasped in excitement as he saw his desktop appear back to normal with the files present as if they were never deleted.
“Wow, thank you so much!” Mingyu gasped in relief as they traded spots again, Mingyu scrolling through, making sure every single file he needed was located. Seungkwan nodded as he pulled his jacket from the back of the chair and began putting his arms through his sleeves.
Mingyu smiled to fill the awkward silence as he led Seungkwan out of the room towards the exit. They walked somewhat side by side, Mingyu a step ahead as he was the one who mastered maneuvering through his building with Seungkwan following him. As Mingyu glanced back, Seungkwan’s gaze was glued to his phone as he looked up slightly to follow Mingyu’s shoes against the hardwood.
“Am I your only client today?” Mingyu asked, an attempt to start a conversation.
Seungkwan looked up and nodded. “Well, the only client who scheduled an appointment. I might be assigned someone else when I get back.”
“Why don’t I treat you out to lunch?” Mingyu offered. Seungkwan looked up and the two made eye contact, the younger holding a surprised facial expression.
“Oh, you don’t really need to, I can just grab a bite to eat nearby.”
“No, please, let me. It’s the least I could do for what you did for me. Plus, I know a great restaurant. Believe me, I personally know the chef.”
He knows better, Seungkwan definitely knows better since this is how Hansol’s love life ignited. He kept his eye contact duration at a minimum as he did not want to spark any interest in Mingyu. But it was free food, he would be a fool to throw that offer out the window.
It was one lunch date with a client. It was barely a date, it was just an outing. A professional outing with a purpose of gratitude. Surely this couldn’t lead to anything more serious to Seungkwan.
But surely, Seungkwan was wrong.
The following week, Seungkwan had Thursday off and decided to pay a visit to Soonyoung who relocated to Mapo for a job promotion. He knew he could trust him with these thoughts of Mingyu that raced through his head, especially since he had too much pride to admit to Hansol that they were in a similar situation. It has only been less than a week and yet Seungkwan can’t get the lunch date—he admits it being a date now— with Mingyu out of his mind.
During the lunch date with Mingyu, Seungkwan made a promise to himself not to allude to any future meetings with each other, which was quickly broken when him and Mingyu started to talk about themselves.
Seungkwan was surprised that Mingyu opened up to him—a data recovery employee he had just met a few hours ago. “I really love to cook,” Mingyu smiles as the two of them were waiting for their food to arrive at their table. “I’ve always been interested by it, it’s fascinating how I could combine a few ingredients together to create something new—a totally new creation.”
Mingyu grinned and Seungkwan couldn’t help but smile back. “Sounds like you’re really passionate… but, then, if you don’t mind me asking, why didn’t you become a chef?”
“Money,” Mingyu sighed. Seungkwan nodded in understanding. The taller one sipped his water and placed it on the table gently, sliding it back to its original position as he pulled his hand back and rubbed it on his thigh. “Plus, I lived with my grandma when I was younger so she couldn’t really afford to pay for culinary school… but I enjoyed my time cooking with her when she was alive.”
Seungkwan pouted. “Condolences.”
“Thank you, but she’s in a better place.” Mingyu smiled. “I got a communications degree at university and somehow ended up being hired by a company that develops cookbooks.” He chuckled a bit. “It’s pretty ironic, isn’t it?” The two nodded before Mingyu blinked and shook his head. “Oh, gosh, sorry. I’m talking too much about myself— what about you?”
“Me?” Seungkwan blinked. He shrugged before putting his water down. “I… there isn’t much really. I like computers and went to university with my best friend for it and now we work for a software company.”
“That’s pretty exciting,” Mingyu nodded. “I’m pretty bad at computers… hence, why we came into contact in the first place.” They shared a laugh before their waitress came over with their plates of food. Seungkwan oohed at how ornamented the food was displayed when it was set down on the placemats. They thanked her before Seungkwan grabbed his fork excitedly. “Wait!” Mingyu gasped.
Seungkwan blinked up and froze in his position and watched as Mingyu took out his phone while standing up before reorganizing their plates as he began shooting photos. “Um…” Seungkwan coughed, still in position, “what are you doing?”
“Oh, sorry,” Mingyu hummed as he walked around the table for a better photo angle, “this is something I do a lot… I appreciate the aesthetics of food as much as the creation of it.”
As intriguing as it sounded and as attractive as Mingyu looked while he was passionately taking photos of Seungkwan’s pasta, Seungkwan’s stomach had a mind of its own as it kept rumbling. He continuously rubbed it before Mingyu sat down and they could proceed eating. Sighing in relief, the younger one started eating and his eyes widened at how delicious the dish he ordered satisfied his taste buds.
Seeing the reaction, Mingyu grinned as he began eating his own food. “Good, huh?”
“Really good!” Seungkwan exclaimed with a mouth full of food. Mingyu snickered, Seungkwan blushing in embarrassment but also from Mingyu’s adorable expressions—which he didn’t admit until hours later.
The second Seungkwan stepped back into his apartment, it quickly dawned upon him that his routine had been broken. The Monday vibes that followed him throughout the week came to a halt when he finally realized it was only Wednesday afternoon and he had just came back from a lunch date with his client.
“It wasn’t a date,” he kept mumbling to himself as he set his bag down in its usual spot as he walked to his closet to change into more comfortable clothes. He came out in jogging pants as he went back to the kitchen, catching himself off-guard when he searched on his phone for pasta recipes for tonight’s dinner. He knew his usual routine of ordering jajjangmyeon is unhealthy but it was his routine. Cooking was not his routine. Neither was thinking of someone—whom he just met that day—the entire day.
Mingyu was not part of his routine.
But he could be.
When Soonyoung heard about his younger friend’s intuitive thoughts he gasped happily and hugged him tightly. “A-ah, hyung—” Seungkwan heaved as he felt the oxygen being squeezed out of him.
“Sorry, sorry!” Soonyoung giggled as he pulled back and fixed Seungkwan’s shirt. “I’m just really happy for you.” They continued their conversation at a nearby cafe as Soonyoung was on an hour break anyway. “You should stay the night,” Soonyoung hummed as he offered a spoonful of the bingsoo to his friend. “The subway ride isn’t that bad here, right?”
“It’s only an hour.” Seungkwan nodded as he opened his mouth and let his hyung feed him.
“Perfect! I’ll pull out the couch for you. So this guy, Mingyu, right?”
“Y-yeah that’s his name… Hyung, it’s weird though… I shouldn’t fall for someone so fast, right? Shouldn’t it take some time?”
Soonyoung paused with the spoon hovering over his tongue as he smiled cheekily. “So you admit you fell for him?”
Realizing the words that had just escaped his mouth, Seungkwan dropped his own spoon on the table and rubbed his cheeks. “Shit… Hyung, I’m really new to this.”
“I can tell. Do you want to talk to Junnie about it? He’s better at this sort of thing than me.”
Seungkwan shrugged. “Ah, maybe… but I’d rather just keep it between us. I don’t really want anyone else to know. Hansol doesn’t even know.”
Gasping, Soonyoung held his shirt dramatically as his chair scooted back a bit. “Really? I know before your best friend?” He pretended to sniffle and dabbed the napkin over his eyes. “I’m so touched, I really am your favourite hyung.”
“You’re about to me second after Jihoon hyung,” Seungkwan grumbled as he picked his spoon back up and kept eating. “Should I ask for a second date?”
“Do you have his number?”
“I have… his email.”
“That’s a bit weird, don’t you think? Shouldn’t emails be, y’know, professional?”
“It’s all I have.” Seungkwan pouted. “What? Should I personally ask him at his work building?”
“That’s a good idea!”
“Wha— no, Hyung that’s a terrible idea! And I’ll tell you why!”
“I’m listening,” Soonyoung leaned over and grinned to tease Seungkwan. Seungkwan pouted in response. Before looking down and silently admitting defeat. “I know you’re shy and emailing seems like the best way to handle this, but maybe you should do it in person. It shows you’re more interested too.”
Seungkwan never really believed in pep talks, especially ones to himself, but he constantly gave himself pep talks the whole way back to Gangnam. From his subway stop to the next subway line towards Mingyu’s building, with the five minute walk in between before reaching the actual address. He stood in front of the door, just like the first time he had, and took a deep breath before marching in with the plan of walking straight to Mingyu’s office.
He forgot about the front desk as soon as he stepped in and sheepishly walked over to her to ask for Mingyu. She replied that he was out of the office and at a restaurant working with a chef at their restaurant as they currently speak. A bit discouraged, Seungkwan was about to give up but he boldly asked for the location address, which she kindly gave to him.
It took another forty-five minute subway ride as Seungkwan attempted to casually walk by the restaurant before he almost lost his balance when he saw Mingyu through the window plating a dish with cameras and lighting surrounding the table. Thankfully, Mingyu spotted him and waved him to come inside so Seungkwan wouldn’t make a fool of himself.
The hug—the warm and secure hug—that Mingyu greeted Seungkwan with was surprisingly pleasant and left him dazed as Mingyu pulled back. “Funny seeing you here, I’m just getting ready this plate of food ready for its shoot.”
“I thought you just write cookbooks.”
Mingyu shook his head before shrugging. “Well, I do do that, but I also do this on the side for another company. Funny, my whole life revolves around food,” he chuckled. Seungkwan blushed a bit and nodded.
He took a deep breath before sighing. “Actually, I was wondering… are you… when… um… I… what are you doing after this?”
“Um… probably going to just head back to my place and edit these pictures… why, do you have plans?”
Seungkwan shook his head. “I… do you want to go to dinner? I mean— out to dinner? Or maybe into dinner? If we decide to go to my place… oh gosh—” he turned his head and coughed as Mingyu smiled.
“I’d love to have dinner with you. Actually, maybe I can cook something for you and bring it over? I love cooking for people.”
“I love eating other people’s cooking,” Seungkwan joked, smiling when Mingyu laughed at his at attempt of a corny joke. They exchanged numbers and Seungkwan sent him his address before he waved at Mingyu to leave him to his business. “I’ll see you at seven?”
“Seven’s good for me,” Mingyu grinned.
-
“You usually don’t call this early,” Junhui snickered into the receiver as Seungkwan grasped on the other line. “Soonyoung’s still asleep and he left his phone in the kitchen to charge.”
“Ah… Hyung… I was just—”
“Dont worry, he told me everything. You know your Hyung.” Seungkwan groaned but accepted it as Junhui hummed. “So? How was your home dinner with Mingyu, was it?”
“Yeah, his name is Mingyu,” Seungkwan nodded before sighing. “Hyung, I think he’s too perfect for me.”
“What do you mean?” Junhui asked as he unplugged the phone and walked back to the bedroom and smiled when he saw Soonyoung sprawled across their bed. “I don’t think anyone can be too perfect, Seungkwan.”
“Hyung, you haven’t met Kim Mingyu. He can cook, he can clean, he’s tall, he’s handsome, he’s—everything.”
Junhui chuckled. “I don’t think that’s everything, Seungkwan,” he replied as he fixed the blanket and pulled it up to Soonyoung’s shoulder as he sat down next to him. “But it seems like you really like him.”
Seungkwan whined as he lied back down on his own mattress as he turned his head to look at the kitchen where he remembered when Mingyu taught him how to cut tomatoes properly the night before. “I just… maybe I need to slow my roll.”
“Did he spend the night?”
“No, he has another restaurant photoshoot thing in the morning. I would have let him stay though otherwise. Or is that moving things too soon? Oh my gosh, Hyung, this is so hard.”
“Just breathe, Seungkwan,” Junhui suggested as he continued to stroke Soonyoung’s head as he scooted closer to Junhui on the mattress. “Are you guys official yet?”
“What does that mean?”
“Y’know, you’re actually dating? An official couple? Though, I take it from that question that you two aren’t.”
“We… aren’t.” Seungkwan sighed.
“Do you want to be official?”
“I don’t know, Hyung. I just… don’t know.”
“Still no response?” Seokmin asked, pouring a cup of tea in the kitchen as Mingyu leaned back against the couch and sighed before locking his phone.
“Nothing. Won’t even respond to my texts even though I know he read them.”
Seokmin walked over with the two mugs to accompany his friend. Mingyu pulled out the coasters before Seokmin set them down on the table. “Maybe he’s busy?”
“I don’t think it’s possible to be busy enough to ignore someone’s messages and phone calls for practically a month.” Mingyu sighed and blew on the tea before sipping it carefully, feeling the warmth distribute throughout his entire body. “I think… he got over me.”
“Mingyu, don’t say that,” Seokmin frowned as he held his own cup of tea, keeping his palms warm. “I’m sure there’s more to this than you think.”
Sitting up and placing the mug back on the coaster, Mingyu shook his head. “You’re giving him too much benefit of the doubt, Seok. I wanted to tell him so much, I thought we… I thought we clicked really well, but I guess the feelings died down on his end.”
“Well,” Seokmin sighed as he rubbed the taller one’s back, “what about that job interview you have next week? What if you get it?”
“It’s my dream job. I want it more than anything,” Mingyu exhaled before turning his head to look over at his friend’s sympathetic expression before smiling. “If I get it, it’s surely meant to be. But… I just wish that I’d get his opinion on it. It would mean a lot to me.”
“You don’t have to be strapped down for someone, you know that.”
“I know that. I definitely know that. But… I just… Seok, I would stay for him.”
“Wow, this is really something, huh?” Seokmin asked, smiling when Mingyu shyly nodded before rubbing the back of his neck. “You know normally, I would have texted Minghao to come over and smack sense into you, but I think he would be behind me when I say that if you really like him, then let’s see what happens then.”
“You mean—?”
“I mean, if you get the job and he answers your call and convinces you to stay, then we won’t stop you from staying for him.”
“—and for you guys—”
“No, you know we’d always stay in contact with you,” Seokmin grinned. “If you and Seungkwan are meant to be, then let’s wait until after that interview.”
“You’re awfully quiet these days during lunch, even for you,” Hansol observed as he nudged Seungkwan by kicking his ankle under the table. Seungkwan shook out of his train of thought and shrugged as he went back to eating his food. “And you don’t really eat anything except salads either… Are you… okay?”
“I’m peachy,” Seungkwan responded with a mouth full of lettuce in his mouth.
Hansol snickered and offered a napkin when part of the dressing dripped from Seungkwan’s fork. He watched his friend wipe it before he pouted a bit. “You’re not telling me something.”
“I tell you everything.”
“Except whatever’s on your mind right now, apparently.”
“There’s nothing on my mind now.”
“You ignored my whole spiel of how Seungcheol Hyung and I are official.” Hansol pouted before jumping when Seungkwan dropped his fork on the floor and his eye twitched. “Something’s definitely going through your mind, Boo.” He offered to help clean up but frowned when Seungkwan nudged him not to as he cleaned up the spill and fork off the floor. “Seungkwan…”
“I fell in love with a client too,” Seungkwan confessed.
Hansol blinked. “Oh, you did? That one you had like two months ago?”
“Yeah, that’s the guy. Kim Mingyu. Mr. Perfect. He’s so perfect, Hansol, oh my gosh—”
Processing the information, Hansol gradually smiled. “Well, I’m happy for you—”
“We haven’t talked in three weeks,” the other sighed. He began eating his salad once again as Hansol pushed his plate of pasta on the side before leaning his elbows on the table.
“Why?”
“Did you not hear what I said? He’s so perfect… I can’t fall in love with someone like that. Not someone like me.”
“Whoa whoa, slow down,” Hansol leaned in closer and patted his best friend’s arm. “Nobody said anything about falling in love yet. Just if you like him and he likes you back.”
“That’s the problem… I think we like each other but I don’t think we should fall in love with each other.”
It was silent for the rest of the lunch break. Hansol didn’t want to push Seungkwan too far with questions and Seungkwan didn’t want to vent that much about the subject. This was new to them, being quiet to each other, but they began to open up into conversation again as they headed back to the office.
“Has he been trying to talk to you?”
“I’ve been ignoring his texts and calls…”
“Seungkwan… that’s not how relationships work.”
“I know—no, actually no. I don’t know how relationships work. I don’t know how any of this shit works!” Seungkwan ruffled his hair as Hansol patted his back. He sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to tell you earlier but… it might be too late now.”
“You know it’s never too late to fix this, right? And, who knows— maybe he feels the same way about you.”
He took a long and thoughtful look at his best friend before Seungkwan shook his head back to reality. “I’m sorry, I’m just surprised that you actually gave me good and legitimate advice.”
“Oh, fuck you too,” Hansol grunted before the two of them laughed together. “Let me stay over, it’s been awhile since I have and I want to be there for you when you talk to Mingyu.” Seungkwan raised an eyebrow at Hansol’s kind gesture before his friend sighed. “Yeah, okay, Seungcheol might be out of town for the weekend and I might need company so—” Seungkwan snickered as Hansol’s cheeks turned red out of embarrassment before smiling when Seungkwan offered his place.
“That’s strange,” Seungkwan grumbled as he was brushing his teeth in the bathroom while pulling the phone away from his left ear.
“What strange?” Hansol asked loudly from the living room, causing Seungkwan to jump surprised.
“He isn’t picking up. His phone leads straight to voicemail.”
“Why would you call him while brushing your teeth?” Hansol laughed. “Were you really going to talk to him with all that foam in your mouth?”
Seungkwan spit out the toothpaste in his mouth before rinsing and walking out with a pout towards the couch where his best friend was settled with a blanket and extra pillow. He sat down and whined. “I can just spit out the foam, you know…” He sighed. “He really didn’t pick up though.”
“Well, maybe his phone died,” suggested Hansol. Seungkwan sighed and nodded, mumbling how he’ll call in the morning before Hansol looked over and saw the voicemail icon on the status bar. “Have you not checked your voicemail.”
“You know I never check my voicemail.”
“Do you see how much voicemail you have?” Hansol gasped as he picked up Seungkwan’s phone. “There’s so many! These are all probably Mingyu Hyung too, I think you should listen to them. He probably wanted to tell you a lot… It would also be polite to when he picks up the phone tomorrow morning.”
“Y-yeah… I guess that’s fair,” Seungkwan nodded as he picked up his phone and put it to his ear to hear the messages. He felt his heart melt at the sound of Mingyu’s voice, but that smile began to fade with every message he heard.
“Hey, Kwannie. I had a really fun night cooking for you at your place last week. I’m really sorry I couldn’t stay over. I would have loved to. Maybe we could do it again? I was thinking this weekend. Let me know!”
“You’re pretty bad at responding these days,” Mingyu chuckled. “I hope you’re doing well. Anyway, I was really inspired by all of the encouragement you gave me the other night and, well, I decided that I was going to pursue cooking again. Not only for my grandma, but for you as well. I’ve been talking to the chefs I work with to help me see what I can do. Ah, I just wanted to thank you again for that. I hope I can repay you for this.”
“Are you doing okay? I don’t really hear from you as much. Or at all,” Mingyu mumbled. “Anyway, I have an interview in two days and, well, it would mean a lot if I could get your opinion on it? The job, I mean. It’s just that, if I get it then it means that I would leave the country to pursue culinary school. The chefs put in a good word for me too, so I might actually have a chance but I don’t want to make a decision before I hear your input because, well, it means a lot to me. I hope you call me back.”
Seungkwan never bothered hearing the last message in his inbox as he threw his phone onto the loveseat adjacent to the couch, making Hansol squeal at the action before he saw Seungkwan sniffling, tears dripping onto his thighs.
“Kwan?” Hansol softly called out as he frowned and saw Seungkwan burst into tears. He quickly scooted over and threw the blanket over the crying one’s shoulders and pulled him closer. He rubbed his shoulders and let Seungkwan lean on his own. “Kwan, what happened?”
“I’m such a dumbass… he… he really felt the same way.”
He couldn’t stand seeing his friend like this. “Then, l-let’s camp out of his company building tonight!” Seungkwan looked up, shocked, while wiping the continuous tears rolling down his cheek. “I’m serious! Since you don’t know where he lives, at least you know where he works, right? We’ll just wait there until he comes to work! And then— then, you two can work things out, okay?” Seungkwan couldn’t speak but just nodded as Hansol stood up and pulled the blanket off the two of them and went to get their shoes. “We’ll make it work, Kwan.”
Seungkwan was surprised to wake up to the front desk worker nudging him as he leaned against the building, sitting on the concrete floor covered in a blanket with Hansol sleeping on his shoulder. “Oh good,” she sighed in relief. “I just came to open up and— are you looking for Mingyu?” Seungkwan’s eyes quickly widened after he rubbed his eyes to adjust to the bright atmosphere before he felt his heart drop as her smile changed. “He doesn’t work here anymore.”
“W-what?” Seungkwan asked in disbelief. “B-but— w-what happened?”
“Did he not tell you?” she pouted as she kneeled down to his eye-level. “He got a new job—his dream job—so he resigned here and moved just this morning.”
From the conversation, Hansol woke up and was also surprised to see the worker in front of them. He pouted when he looked over at Seungkwan and saw how much his hands were shaking while gripping his legs tightly close to his chest.
“W-where did he move?”
“Paris.”
Hansol blinked. “Mingyu moved to Paris?”
“That’s right. One of the chefs here gave a recommendation to his alma mater about Mingyu and they accepted him just two days ago.” Before Seungkwan could ask where Mingyu went, she stood up when her alarm went off as she bid the two farewell and entered the building. Seungkwan sat completely still, processing what had just happened before he frantically pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Mingyu’s number.
The number you have reached is unavailable as it is no longer in service.
“Fuck, no,” Seungkwan’s voice trembled. He redialed at least four times, persistently hearing the same message before Hansol grabbed the phone out of his hands. Seungkwan covered his face and began to sob. “I’m… too late…”
“No, no don’t say that. We’ll find a way, Kwan—”
“I don’t think... there are anymore... ways around this, Sol,” Seungkwan shook his head while still covering his face, both of them paying no attention to the increasing number of bystanders that kept glancing at them as the morning rush came around. “We really weren’t meant to be…”
Hansol frowned before gripping onto Seungkwan’s shoulders and shaking him. “Kwan, listen to yourself, you sound like a complete fool!”
“I am a fool!” Seungkwan wailed. “A fool who was in love and a fool who let that all slip away from such stupid and foolish thoughts!” Hansol let Seungkwan cry on his shoulder, rubbing his back as an affectionate sign of solace—the only thing he could offer at this time. The two headed back to Seungkwan’s apartment, thankful that they both had the day off.
Looking over, seeing his friend mumbling to himself—of probably negative thoughts—Hansol nudged him. “Seungkwan…” the other looked up as Hansol sighed. “We’ll find a way, okay?”
“Okay…” Seungkwan replied hopelessly.
“Hey… if you two were really meant to be, it’ll happen. It was just the wrong time.”
Seungkwan sighed. “Sol, I told you before. I don’t think we’re meant to be together.”
“Yes, Hyung, I heard you loud and clear,” Seungkwan rolled his eyes as he was filing through paperwork on his desk that Jihoon handed him just this morning. “I’m almost done with this and then I’ll go grab the other files from the third floor after lunch.” After Jihoon gave more instructions, Seungkwan sighed in relief as he hung up his phone. He checked his watch and grumbled how he had to meet Hansol downstairs in a few minutes for lunch.
He rushed down after going through all the papers, thankful that Chan was his assistant now so that he could finish the job for him. After being promoted two ranks, Seungkwan’s focus from work transitioned from client work to paperwork. He didn’t mind though, he didn’t have to run in and out of the building every other day, but he shifted between the third and fourth floor constantly. It was less of a demanding task to his mind and body though.
Seungkwan managed to walk out of the building just in time as Hansol showed up outside the door. “Hey, wow, look at you with your cool pin Jihoon hyung gave you,” Hansol snickered as Seungkwan pushed his face away.
The two walked to the new restaurant that had just opened last week that became a local favourite to their little pocket of town. Hansol managed to squeeze a reservation last minute thanks to Seungcheol for knowing the management. They both oohed at the sight of the building’s interior as the host led them to their table.
“Shit,” Seungkwan whispered, “the food here must be really expensive then.”
“Good think you’re paying then, huh?” Hansol snickered as they both sat down. After looking over at the menu and ordering their food, they began catching up as Hansol was complaining about graduate school. “Yeah, it’s been rough,” Hansol sighed as he rubbed his neck, “but Cheol hyung has been a really good support line… I mean, you know, besides my best friend.”
“Yeah, you better not forget about me!” Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “Leaving me and going back to school to pursue a master’s degree? I mean, who does that?” Hansol raised his hand and laughed when Seungkwan kicked his leg under the table before sighing. “I’m happy for you though, Sol. You two seem serious too, huh?”
“Thank you,” Hansol smiled. “Yeah, Hyung and I moved in together just last month. It was a big step for the two of us but… we’re happy. I’m happy for you too. You’ve been doing alright, right?”
Seungkwan shrugged, eyeing the food coming over to their table before smiling. “Yeah, more or less. Same old, same old.” Before eating, Seungkwan told Hansol to freeze, causing him to squeal, only to sigh and chuckle when he watched Seungkwan take his phone out and stand up, rearranging the plates before taking multiple pictures.
“Wow, you still do this?” Hansol snickered.
“Old habits, I guess,” Seungkwan hummed before he sat back down and Hansol started scarfing down his food. Just by the mere smell of the food, Seungkwan felt a sense of comfort, a sense of familiarity, a sense of love. Then again, he was probably just hungry. With that first bite, he paused. Hansol looked over while wiping his mouth and blinked at his friend’s blank expression. Seungkwan, shaking out of his trance, called over their waiter. “C-can you send my compliments to the chef? Or can I… possibly see the chef?”
“Well,” the waiter hummed, “since this is still considered opening week, let me call him out for you.” Seungkwan smiled thankfully as the waiter left, leaving Hansol puzzled.
The second those double doors opened and their eyes met, Seungkwan’s heart started racing just as it did before. Hansol, still confused, turned around to see the sous chef— fitting a familiar description of someone Seungkwan had met and grew fond of years ago. Hansol snickered and nudged Seungkwan under the table. “Great timing, huh?”
i don’t think people really get how little feedback fanfic authors actually get? like the effort to reaction ratio is so abysmally skewed here that a fic nearly 50,000 words long takes an entire year to amass like. 16 comments. someone reblogged a fic i wrote at 4 am and tagged it with a 5-word compliment and i can’t stop thinking about it, not because it was so nice but because half the time you post a fic you’re going to hear nothing and anything feels like so much
fandom culture is so, so good about giving artists the credit they’re due, but we gotta start doing that for writers too. you’ve got no idea how much people put into their stories and get maybe a handful of reblogs and a dozen-odd kudos. that’s not enough. writing is an endurance sport and y’all need to start giving fic writers a reason to endure it and improve their craft. encourage writers like you encourage artists. reblog fics, leave tags, leave comments, acknowledge that these stories do not just spring into being for your entertainment.
every single damn writer i know feels like at least their readers see them as a machine. that’s gotta change.
Title: Between You and I
Pairing: Soonwoo (Soonyoung x Wonwoo)
Length: 5,930 words
Summary: Nothing in the world can keep Soonyoung apart from Wonwoo.
A/N: For the Soonwoo Push x Pull Fic Exchange!
Soonyoung’s new kicks were soaked. A pair of brand name shoes that cost more than his monthly rent completely ruined by the pouring storm that was inches away from him. He leaned against the wall more to increase the distance, an attempt to shield his shoes from the droplets that were dripping from the awning above him. His eyes trailed down to his watch, nodding when he realized he still had a couple minutes before the bus came.
A bell rang next to him, the entrance to the convenience store. A “stay dry” comment was heard as he saw Wonwoo. They were about the same stature, only Wonwoo stood up straight in the rain as his umbrella kept him dry from the storm above. He automatically plugged in his earphones and drained the environment out, unaware of Soonyoung observing him from afar.
As desperate as he was, Soonyoung wasn’t going to just sneak over and share the stranger’s umbrella without permission. He knew his best friend would scold him for that when he shared his story afterwards anyway.
The bus drove from over the horizon and Soonyoung stumbled forward, pulling his bus card from his wallet. It was getting soaked quickly, he definitely needed a new wallet after today. He somehow managed to stand in the queue before Wonwoo, but with all the pushing and shoving, Soonyoung dropped his card that floated down the small makeshift stream towards the sewage drain. Before he could even panic, Wonwoo grabbed his arm and scanned his card twice.
“He’s with me,” Wonwoo told the bus driver.
The worker tipped his hat and motioned the two to walk back as other people loaded the bus. Soonyoung blinked as he watched the other wrap his umbrella up before sitting down. He quickly followed and sat in front of him and turned around to leaned over before coughing.
“T-thank you for that,” he said with a shiver in his voice. He noticed how Wonwoo’s eyes kept staring down at his phone before he repeated his words, pouting at how he was still being ignored.
The bus started moving and it wasn’t until the fourth time that Soonyoung tried to get his attention that Wonwoo sighed and looked up at the window while pulling out one earphone. He looked over at Soonyoung and nonchalantly spoke, “It’s no problem.”
Soonyoung had a small smile form upon his lips. “Is there anyway I can repay you? I can buy you coffee or— ”
“ —you can leave me alone,” Wonwoo interrupted as he put his earphone back and looked out the window again, purposely ignoring Soonyoung.
The drenched one just blinked in shock before he frowned and tried to get Wonwoo’s attention again. “I’m still going to repay you,” he stated. “I’m really thankful for what you did.”
“Well,” Wonwoo sighed, “don’t be.”
The bus stopped and Soonyoung looked outside to see a cafe close by through the heavy drizzle. Without thinking, he quickly grabbed Wonwoo’s hand and pulled him off the bus. It happened all too fast before the quiet one could register that he was standing in the rain with a stranger whose bus card fell down the drain nowhere near where he needed to be. Wonwoo looked over as Soonyoung had already opened his umbrella and put it over the top of their heads before smiling at him.
“Let me buy you coffee.”
Wonwoo—who was a bit wet from the rain that had come down before Soonyoung opened his umbrella—just mumbled to himself before taking up Soonyoung’s offer. “Why not,” he mumbled.
Wonwoo carried the umbrella in the plastic sleeve from the front as Soonyoung was in line making the orders. He found a table near the window and leaned the umbrella on it as he sat down. Looking over, he watched Soonyoung happily chat with the barista over the counter.
It’s not everyday that a stranger offers you coffee nor everyday that that stranger persistently insists he buys you coffee to the point where he drags you off the bus.
He was checking his phone when Soonyoung came over and smiled at him as he put the mug in front of Wonwoo. “I hope you like Americanos,” the drenched one smiled.
They’re my favourite, Wonwoo thought as he sat up in his seat and blew on the mug before lifting it up to his mouth to take a small sip. It still burned a bit, but it did warm up his system. He jumped a bit when he saw Soonyoung pull his hoodie off in front of him before he coughed and looked away as he distracted himself by taking another sip.
“I just wanted to thank you again,” Soonyoung reiterated.
“You really don’t need to,” Wonwoo looked up from his cup, the two of them finally having a normal conversation face to face. “It was nothing.”
“It was everything! You’re honestly a lifesaver, I am indebted to you.”
“Okay, okay,” Wonwoo coughed, chuckling a bit as he placed his coffee down. “It’s not that big of a deal. I was just doing something nice.” He smiled a bit when Soonyoung grinned widely at him. Checking his phone, he scrunched his nose and locked it before shoving it in his jacket. “Look, you got me coffee and we chatted a bit. Thank you, but I really do need to go.”
“Oh,” Soonyoung blinked as he frowned to himself as he watched Wonwoo zip his jacket and go to the counter to ask for a lid for his coffee. He looked over and gasped as he grabbed Wonwoo’s umbrella and looked over as the other was putting a hood over his head. “Your umbrella!” he practically shouted across the cafe.
Wonwoo looked over and shook his head as he placed his earphones in once more, “keep it.” He quickly walked out, just in time to catch the next bus. He managed to find a seat and sat down with a loud sigh before taking a sip of his coffee. He pulled out the receipt that Soonyoung had left on the table and nodded to himself as he saw the name. “Kwon Soonyoung.”
Soonyoung stood there, a bit flustered from how fast his exchange with his stranger was. He was also a bit sad how he didn’t even get his name, but at least he was able to pay him back. There was something about him though, perhaps they’ve met before, but he did seem familiar. Regardless, Soonyoung hopes they’d be able to meet again.
-
“Hyung, you know I’m not the best person to talk to when it comes to these theories of yours,” Hansol grunted as he furiously tapped the backspace button on his laptop. Wonwoo looked up at his younger friend and chuckled as he put the mug on the table. He got up to walk towards the kitchen as Hansol continued to grumble to himself.
“They aren’t theories, they’re laws. They’ve always been proven to be correct throughout my life—by the way, you’re running out of almond milk.” Wonwoo closed the refrigerator door and walked back to the dining room table before pouring the milk into his hot beverage.
Hansol glared at his older friend. “Please… let’s not talk about theories and laws right now. This senior thesis for physics is taking a toll on my whole well-being as is.” Wonwoo chuckled but nodded as he sipped on his coffee. He continued typing as he looked over every once in awhile to see Wonwoo reading through stacks of papers, hearing the sound of the red pen scribble once or twice before a page turn. “Is that Jisoo hyung’s book?”
“Yeah, but it’s very raw right now. This is only the second version he sent me,” Wonwoo hummed.
The younger one just nodded before coughing, a sign of changing the subject. “So this theory of yours again, hyung?”
“Oh, I knew you wanted to talk about it more,” Wonwoo cheekily smiled.
“Anyway,” Hansol rolled his eyes. “You said his name was Soonyoung, yes?”
“Yeah,” Wonwoo agreed as he clicked his pen and set it down before aligning the sheets of paper as he tapped the stack on the table. “I met him yesterday. Almost missed Jisoo hyung’s appointment back at my office because of him though.”
“And you say,” Hansol continued, “you’ve seen him before—not in this lifetime but… a time in the past?”
“Precisely.” Wonwoo adjusted his sitting position on the chair as he slid his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I just… wish I could find him again.”
-
“Soonyoung, I can’t believe you actually did that to the poor guy,” Junhui groaned as he was making coffee the next morning. He made sure the blend was perfect for the two of them—two teaspoons sugar, one teaspoon creamer—before he passed it over to his roommate. “Though, that is something you would totally do, so I take that back. I’m not surprised at all.”
Soonyoung whined as he blew on his cup that he firmly held in his hands to warm them up. “Hey, I needed to repay him back! It’s not everyday someone saves your life by paying for your bus fare.”
Junhui just hummed as he watched Soonyoung sip the coffee that was still a bit too hot as he squealed but kept sipping it anyway. He snickered. “Well, that was very nice of you. But don’t do that on a whim again, he could have needed to go somewhere important.”
With a pout, Soonyoung nodded as they both started eating their breakfast—rice and sunny-side up eggs—as they kept chatting. “Junnie, I wish I knew his name.”
“You should have asked.” He laughed when Soonyoung nudged him in annoyance. “Well, we live in Seoul, I don’t know if you’ll see him again.”
“I hope I do though,” Soonyoung sighed. “He seemed… familiar.”
“In what sense?”
Soonyoung put down his utensils as he grabbed his coffee once more. “I don’t know but… I just feel like I’ve seen him before.”
“Maybe you will see him again then, hm?” Junhui nudged Soonyoung as he got up to put his dishes in the sink. “I’m gonna get ready to go over to see Jihoon. Don’t burn the house down, okay?”
Junhui snickered as Soonyoung puffed his cheeks—that were already stuffed of food—and grunted. “I almost blew up the microwave. And that was one time, okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Junhui hummed from the foyer as he was sliding his shoes on and opened the door. “But if that landlord auntie comes here again, you have to explain everything to her instead of me, okay?”
They stuck their tongues out at each other, a sign of Soonyoung bidding farewell to Junhui before he sighed and washed his dishes. Looking outside the window, he deduced that it would be a good time for a walk: the sky was cloudy from the storm yesterday, but not a sign of precipitation was in the forecast.
He carried an umbrella with him in his right hand, just to be safe so that he wouldn’t have a repeat of yesterday’s incident. The shoes were still drying and Soonyoung was already internally dreading how much he’d need to scrub it when he returned to his apartment. The pavement wasn’t drenched, the soles of his worn down shoes that he wore weren’t in danger as he continued to walk.
It was a fairly empty sidewalk, considering everyone else was already in their respective buildings for work as the morning rush died down merely an hour ago. Soonyoung lightly shook his head, remembering this scene as if it was a repeated dream he had in the past. He followed through though, thinking he was overthinking. He’s lived in this area of Seoul for most of his adult life.
Crossing the street, he walked past an ice cream shop as he turned the corner. He grimaced, mumbling how he hated the frozen dessert, only fondly wanting the corn flavoured type as it wasn’t as sweet. But he remembered how someone in his life loved it and always order two cones as if they were for them and Soonyoung but said person ate both. It wasn’t Junhui, him and Junhui don’t eat ice cream together.
Perhaps it was a long lost friend, Soonyoung thought as his head turned away from peering into the shop. He continued his walk. He knows it was merely impossible, but he hoped that he would run into that stranger who paid for his bus fare. Even if it was just a familiar glance from afar, that would be enough of a cue for Soonyoung to run over and ask for his name.
But as Junhui had said, they live in Seoul. It’s practically impossible to meet the same stranger twice, especially since Soonyoung wasn’t even sure if he lived in the same area as the stranger in the first place.
His thoughts continued to take over though, he rubbed his head as he entered the park’s pathway with the tree branches overhead shielding the little light that pierced through the grey skies. He usually doesn’t take this path when he goes on walks, but his body somehow ended up at the park anyway. A few people on bicycles cycled by, but none of them were of the stranger. Soonyoung managed to find a bench that didn’t hold water from yesterday’s precipitation. He leaned back and slid down into a more comfortable position. Slowly, he felt his eyes grow heavier than usual. He crossed his arms against his chest and decided that maybe a quick nap would help his mind ease up.
-
Soonyoung was nervous when he was told by a complete stranger, much older than him, to audition for a company on the other far side of the city. He wasn’t sure if he could fully trust this stranger at all, but he never missed an audition opportunity. The young teenage boy knew he was born to be an entertainer on a stage. Maybe this was his big break.
The audition ran smoother than he had expected, especially with the fact that he had actually sent in dance videos to the company before. It was still nerve-wrecking, mostly because his future was still unclear.
When he got a callback, his family rejoiced. He packed his bags for Gangnam, the location of the company. Surprisingly, however, he realized he was not alone. Entering the practice room, his eyes met a roomful of boys around his age, already warming up their voices and watching themselves dance in front of the wall mirror. Soonyoung was never a timid nor quiet one, so he was quick to introduce and acquaint himself with the others.
Practicing and training really took a toll on him, especially with his lower back already suffering with pain as is. It wasn’t until a few months into his training that he was introduced to a new trainee. Unlike Soonyoung, this trainee was much quieter and mostly kept to himself. He was friendly though as he introduced himself to the others respectfully and shook hands with everyone. But even though he was new, Soonyoung could already tell he wasn’t much of a people person.
He approached the newbie during their second to last break as he offered an extra towel.
“Here,” Soonyoung smiled. “You might need this.”
The new trainee paused and looked up, their chests still rising violently from the practice. He smiled and took up the offer. “Thank you,” he panted.
Soonyoung sat down next to the other, quite happy that he didn’t run away as some trainees had done when they first met Soonyoung. “I’m Soonyoung, by the way.”
“Wonwoo,” the other replied nonchalantly as he wiped the sweat from his forehead that ran down to his cheeks. “You been here for a while?”
“Uh, a couple of months.”
“Seems like it,” Wonwoo nodded. “You’re a really good dancer.”
Soonyoung was flattered. “Oh, gosh no. Thank you, though. I know I still have a long way to go.”
The other one chuckled. “Humble, that’s good. But don’t be.” Wonwoo rolled the towel up and wrapped it around his neck before he leaned himself against the practice room walls. Soonyoung copied the action and looked over before Wonwoo spoke once more. “How long do you think it’s going to take?”
“Pardon?”
“This training. I’ve heard stories of people training for over seven years. I really hope that doesn’t happen.”
“Well, everyone takes a different amount of time depending on their skills, right? Hopefully we don’t end up in that situation though…”
“Would you quit?”
Soonyoung paused for a moment before shaking his head. “No, I can’t. It’s my dream.”
Wonwoo looked over, the two of them made eye contact, before he smiled. “Good, then I hope we keep training together. Maybe we’ll debut together.”
“Yeah,” Soonyoung grinned back. “I hope so too.”
-
Soonyoung squealed as he fell off his bench before he heard a familiar snicker noise. Junhui offered his hand to his roommate with his cheek lying against the pavement. “Sorry, Soon,” Junhui hummed as he pulled the younger one up. “You know how much I love waking you up like this.”
“You’re so mean, Junnie,” Soonyoung groaned as he rubbed his cheek. The two headed back to their apartment. Soonyoung was surprised how long he’s been asleep on that bench. A thought dawned upon him how he was slightly worried that the stranger might have passed by him and Soonyoung missed out on the opportunity.
“So you came out to the park just to nap?” Junhui chuckled. “I mean, if your bed isn’t the comfiest place to nap, then I guess I could understand that.”
“It wasn’t that, I just wanted to get out.” Junhui patted Soonyoung’s back as they kept walking. It was a bit quiet as the two of them were checking their phones as their arms kept nudging each other accidentally every now and then. Soonyoung looked up suddenly before turning to Junhui. “I had that trainee dream again.”
Junhui slightly lifted his chin to look at Soonyoung before back down at the screen. “Ah, that dream again?”
“I’m telling you, I was probably an idol before in my past life. That’s gotta be it.”
“Both of us, right? That’s what you said when you thought it was destiny for us to become roommates. Because of this idol dream of yours.”
“That belief still stands,” Soonyoung nodded. “But besides that, I think I know the stranger’s name.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. Wonwoo.”
“Wonwoo?” Junhui locked his phone and pondered upon the name for a second. “Actually that does sound familiar—no, wait my bad, I’m thinking about that one brand of beef. How did you come up with that conclusion? Oh, did you run into him?”
“No,” Soonyoung shook his head, “he was in the idol dream too.”
“Soonyoung…” Junhui sighed, “we talked about this before. It’s just a dream.”
The other pouted as they began to cross the street. Soonyoung looked back for a quick second to glance at the ice cream shop once more before Junhui grabbed his hand and walked faster as the timer was ticking down. “I’m so sure it was him,” Soonyoung mumbled to himself.
“You know,” Junhui began as they were on the other side of the road, heading towards their apartment, “maybe we should just call it a night when we get home, hm? You seem like you’ve had an awfully long day.”
“But—”
“Tell you what,” the taller one hummed as he opened the door first and ducked his head to not hit the building entrance door frame, “tomorrow we both get off early from work. Let’s go out to that favourite ddeokbokki place for lunch.”
Soonyoung gasped. “The one with the samgyupsal on the side?”
“That’s the one.”
Junhui laughed as his roommate cheered and jumped into their apartment after unlocking the door. He was glad Soonyoung was feeling a bit happier, but he was still worried about what Soonyoung had said earlier. In fact, Junhui was questioning it himself. What if it wasn’t a dream that Soonyoung had? What if it was a vision of the past? Or possibly of something outside of this universe?
-
University was a difficult start for Soonyoung. Being so far away from home, he wasn’t sure of how the next few months would be for him. It was a gradual transition but soon enough, he was comfortable with his independence.
Theater furthered this comfortability. Starting as just a joke with his new best friend, Lee Seokmin, Soonyoung was surprised at the fact that he had passed the auditions for the semester play that was to be held at the end of June. With an important leading role, he basically lived at the theater. Seokmin always visited during their scheduled breaks though, always bringing his friend his favourite snacks so he wouldn’t get hungry as rehearsals continued into the evening. They always walked to their dormitory together, glad that their rooms were adjacent to each other.
It wasn’t until May approached that Soonyoung was introduced to the theatrical technician team—often referring to themselves as ‘techies’—who did all the behind the scenes work to make sure the production was a success. The performers gasped at how the stage had come to life with the props and backsets that enhanced the space.
Soonyoung looked over and saw one of the techies approach him. Wearing all black with a headset placed over his head, he stretched his hand out towards Soonyoung. “You’re the lead, right?”
“Y-Yeah… well, one of them.”
The techie smiled. “I’m Wonwoo. I’ll be working on the spotlight for your scenes.”
“Soonyoung,” the actor smiled. “Thank you.”
Everyone involved in the production practically lived in the main auditorium at this point. When Soonyoung wasn’t in classes or in his bedroom fast asleep, he was on stage. Him and the other performers were in a stop and go ordeal as the techies kept cutting them and starting their scene repeatedly throughout the weeks.
Seokmin still visited when he could, but it became rather difficult as exams rolled around. He paid a visit right after his biology exam as him and Soonyoung sat in the audience chairs overlooking a scene in which Soonyoung wasn’t a part of.
“It’s in two weeks,” Soonyoung sighed.
“Wow, that’s so soon. Do you think you guys are ready?”
“I hope so… no, I know so. We’ve really put a lot of heart into this production. Especially the techies, they’re pretty amazing.”
They grinned at each other as they kept talking before Seokmin checked his phone and said he was heading back to the dorm. “Just text me when you’re on your way back so I know.” Soonyoung saluted before the two did their handshake and Seokmin left.
As the other performers began to leave, Soonyoung and the other lead were left with the techies. It was his solo scene and Soonyoung stood in the middle of the stage as he looked up to see Wonwoo shining the spotlight on him as the surrounding lights began to dim. He began speaking his lines before Wonwoo cut him off.
“I can’t move the spotlight that fast, do you think you can walk a bit slower?” he shouted from the techie booth above the audience seats.
“Yeah,” Soonyoung yelled back. “Sorry about that!”
“Don’t be,” Wonwoo replied. “Just take it from the top once more.”
It was around ten o’clock when Soonyoung began packing his things. He screamed frightened when he exited the dressing room with his bag and saw Wonwoo leaning against the wall.
“Save that voice for the stage,” Wonwoo chuckled. Soonyoung pouted as his cheeks let off a pink tint. The two walked side by side, Soonyoung surprised to hear that Wonwoo dormed in the same building on the same floor. “I’m on the opposite side of the corridor though.”
Soonyoung nodded. “That’s probably why I never see you. You take the south elevators when I take the north ones.” The two continued to talk before Soonyoung sighed. “Wonwoo, I don’t know how you do it.”
“Do what?”
“Theater. It seems like you do such difficult tasks while I’m just on stage talking.”
Wonwoo chuckled. “Oh, no. What you do is much more difficult for me. I have stage fright.” Soonyoung tilted his head, a bit surprised at the statement. “It’s true. That’s why I work behind the scenes. I’m always someone who doesn’t work in the spotlight.”
“But have you thought of doing so?” Soonyoung questioned. “Being on stage? Even with that stage fright of yours?”
“I’ve thought of it,” Wonwoo nodded. “In fact, sometimes I feel like I’ve done it before. In a past life: on stage, performing in front of an audience, experiencing that thrill of accomplishment and adoration.”
“You talk so well,” Soonyoung giggled.
“Thank you.”
“Ever thought about being a writer?”
They started walking up the hill towards their building as Wonwoo nodded. “Yeah, but I’m not much of a writer. More of an enhancer. I helped edit the script for the play, actually.” Soonyoung gasped and looked at Wonwoo in awe as he continued looking ahead.
“Ready for the play?”
“Are you?” Wonwoo laughed after asking as Soonyoung shrugged and grimace. “You shouldn't be worried. I'm sure it'll go well.”
-
“Wonwoo?” Jisoo nudged his friend yet again before he fell out of his seat with a loud thud. Jisoo squealed in panic, but sighed in relief when Wonwoo groaned and sat up slowly. “Oh, thank goodness. I thought you were dead!”
“Morning to you too, Hyung.” Wonwoo grunted as he rubbed his head while his older friend helped him back onto his feet. “The transcript is in my room. I finished adding notes on it.”
Jisoo grinned and walked over before shouting he brought breakfast and it's sitting on the kitchen counter. Wonwoo hummed in response and made his way over as he stretched. He was delighted to see his usual order—a blueberry muffin, honey toast, and a mocha latte—in the brown paper bag.
He set up his and his hyung’s food on the dining table as he saw Jisoo enter the room again and put the script into his bag. “You were knocked out when I came in an hour ago, so I thought I would go out then come back with our breakfast.”
“Wow,” Wonwoo chuckled before he sipped his latte, “it's not everyday someone breaks into your house and then goes out to bring back breakfast.” He laughed when Jisoo pouted before they started eating.
“Have any weird dreams lately?” Jisoo asked as he spread shmear over his toasted bagel. “You usually do—hey, don’t give me that look!”
“Actually, yeah. Remember the theater dream I told you about months ago?”
“The one where you were a techie and almost opened the trapdoor under me?”
“I said that was an accident. But yeah, that one,” the younger one nodded. “I had it again. Only… the lead’s name… I remember it now.”
“Oh, who?”
“Soonyoung.”
“Sounds familiar,” Jisoo hummed before wiping his mouth. “Wasn't he the stranger you told me and Hansol about? On the bus?”
“Yeah!”
“You dreamt about the stranger?”
“Wha—no, Hyung! My point is that I didn't dream about Soonyoung because I just met him. I dreamt of him because I already knew him.”
Jisoo blinked in confusion as he sipped his macchiato.
Wonwoo rolled his eyes. “Okay, remember the script idea for your last book I told you to scrap? That plot.”
Jisoo gasped in amazement, almost falling off his chair. “He's your soulmate!”
“Okay, I wouldn't think of it that far. But, I think we're close. Or were close.”
“No, no! Soulmates! You two have always destined to be with each other!” Wonwoo stuffed part of his muffin into Jisoo’s mouth to muffle the excitement as he leaned back to sip his beverage once more. “Wonwoo…”
“Sorry, Hyung… but, it's just weird. I feel like we should have known already, if we were really soulmates. But he seemed to not even know my name.”
“Well, maybe that's just the universe’s way of telling you to let you get to know him all over again.”
Wonwoo pouted. “Well, the universe is stupid and too into romcoms.”
“Hey,” Jisoo smiled as he began to wipe the crumbs off his side of the table, “we can insult the cosmics later when we take Hansol and Seungkwan out to lunch for finishing their theses.”
-
Soonyoung practically tackled Junhui to the ground when he saw him leaning against the pillar when he got off the subway train. Junhui managed to keep his balance though, fixing Soonyoung’s messenger bag that clung across his chest. They began walking to the restaurant as they were talking about their day at work when Soonyoung noticed another ice cream place.
Junhui noticed. “You want one?” Soonyoung stopped in his tracks as Junhui repeated the question. “Do you want an ice cream cone?” Soonyoung grimaced as his friend snickered. “Just wondering. You’ve been looking at those lately, you know? Not just within the past few days. The past month.”
“R-really?” Soonyoung blinked surprised.
“Really. Funny, I thought you didn’t like ice cream because it was too sweet.”
“Yeah, I still stand with that belief. But… I don’t know. Guess I find some sort of comfort with them?”
Junhui whistled. “Maybe Wonwoo likes ice cream, huh?” He laughed as Soonyoung nudged him and walked faster. “So I reserved earlier, two seats at your favourite spot.”
Soonyoung smiled. They approached the restaurant and greeted hostess who led them to their table before they sat down. Junhui looked over the menu and noticed Soonyoung stand up from his chair quickly.
“Restroom.”
Junhui hummed and shooed him away. “Take your time. I already know your order.”
“Oh, you're the best Junnie!” Soonyoung and Junhui shared a smile as the younger one walked towards the restrooms.
In the nick of time, Junhui looked up and saw a party of three enter the restaurant. He thought nothing of it though and looked back to the menu as they were led to the other side.
“I can't believe Wonwoo hyung said he was coming later,” Seungkwan pouted as they followed their host.
“You know how busy hyung is,” Hansol patted his back. “Plus, Jisoo hyung is paying anyway.”
Jisoo looked at the two surprised as they all sat down. “I… am?” Seungkwan and Hansol nodded as they shared a menu while Jisoo frowned looking at his own.
Soonyoung came back. Him and Junhui were enjoying their meal as the elder took care of cooking the meat on the grill between them while Soonyoung took care of devouring it well. Junhui grinned, “you seem happy.”
“I'm always happy when you cook the food, Junnie!” They both chuckled before Soonyoung accidentally knocked his utensils off of the table. He whined and moved downward to grab them.
While doing so, Wonwoo entered the scene. He looked over and saw Jisoo and Hansol waving him over as Seungkwan was busy cooking the meat. He smiled and walked over to his friends. “Hey, sorry for that.”
“You should be, Hyung!” Seungkwan pouted. Wonwoo ruffled his hair, touched that his younger friend wanted to see him so much.
Soonyoung sat up straight and grumbled as he put his old chopsticks aside and grabbed a new pair from the drawer at the right side of the table. “Junnie, I hope you know I'm paying.”
“Too late,” Junhui hummed as he grabbed a slice of pork off the grill and blew on it before biting into it. “I paid for the meal while you were in the bathroom.” Soonyoung whined and puffed his cheeks. Junhui chuckled, knowing that was his friend’s way of thanking him. “Should we get ice cream afterwards?”
Junhui was expecting an immediate ‘no’ but was surprised to hear the “yes” that Soonyoung uttered.
“You think you'll see him there?”
Soonyoung sighed and nodded. “I'm definitely sure. I have that gut feeling. That this has happened before.”
-
If there's one thing to know about Kwon Soonyoung, it's his love for food. His parents always took him out to eat and, living in a small town in Seoul, he had an advantage to a plethora of food and options.
Saturdays were family days and they always went out for barbeque for dinner. Young Soonyoung always wanted to learn how to cook the meat, but his noona wouldn't allow him as she feared he would burn himself. He pouted as he watched her and their father cook instead.
Afterwards, his mother always offered ice cream, but Soonyoung grimaced as his noona cheered.
It wasn't until one night that Soonyoung decided that he would order an ice cream after his meal. His father led him through the line where the toddler asked for one scoop of vanilla in a cone. He licked it, surprised he enjoyed it and continued eating it with his family.
He heard a cry of one child in the shop and turned his head to see a boy around his age had dropped the ice cream cone. Soonyoung gasped and saw how the other boy’s parents tried to comfort their crying child.
Soonyoung quickly jumped from his chair and ran over with his own ice cream to the other. He looked at the boy who was still sniffling before he held out his hand with the cone. “Are you sad because it fell?” The other nodded as Soonyoung grinned. “Don't be, you can have mine!”
Both set of parents were shocked by Soonyoung’s actions but smiled at the thought behind it. The crying boy rubbed his eyes and nodded as he grasped Soonyoung’s cone and brought it close to him. “Thank you,” he mumbled shyly.
“You're welcome! I'm Soonyoung!”
The other boy wiped his eyes with his sleeve and gave back a smile. “I'm Wonwoo.”
-
Deja vu hit them but in a different lifetime, in a different ice cream shop, at different ages.
And as if it was true that the universe brought them together once again, Soonyoung stood at the doorway of the ice cream shop. Speechless and frozen with his best friend by his side as Wonwoo was at the counter paying for his friends’ orders when he shared eye contact with Soonyoung. Jisoo squealed and quickly grabbed Wonwoo’s ice cream that was about to fall while Junhui swiftly held the plastic bag of leftovers that Soonyoung almost dropped as the two walked close to each other.
Soonyoung and Wonwoo stood right in front of each other. If they were in any other place, it might have been more intimate or meaningful. But they were in an ice cream shop, which was pretty special in its own way to them.
“H-hey…” Soonyoung let out.
Wonwoo coughed and nodded as the two never lost eye contact. “H-hello.”
Rubbing the back of his neck, Soonyoung chuckled a bit. “Have we—”
“—met before?” Wonwoo asked, completing the question. They two chuckled a bit before shaking their heads.
“I don't mean a few days ago on the bus,” Soonyoung added.
“I don't either,” Wonwoo grinned. “No way, this is definitely the universe fucking with us.”
“Well,” Soonyoung cleared his throat. “Allow me to formally introduce myself. In this lifetime.” He put his hand out and smiled. “Kwon Soonyoung.”
Wonwoo shared the same smile and shook the other’s hand firmly. “Jeon Wonwoo.”
And as much as the two were bitter with how the universe teased them like this—in every lifetime they've ever experienced—they were rather thankful that they were still able to find each other.
Title: New Message (2)
Pairing: OT13
Length: 1,498 words
Summary: Chan thinks that everything is an acronym now, Seungkwan finally knows how to use hashtags, Jihoon realizes there is no escape from this group chat, and who the hell is Jeffrey?
A/N: #2YearsWithSeventeen #WhoIsJeffrey
Please note: this chat is being recorded and archived.
sugoixboy95: i can’t believe you guys almost forgot about me :c
sugoixboy95: but the important thing is that i’m back now!!! :]
choi_scoups added woozihoon to the chat.
woozihoon: I was so close to freedom...
choi_scoups: you’re stuck with us, buddy :)
hvcny98: lol, sucks to suck hyung
thechanman: lol?
hvcny98: ...you’re kidding, right chan?
thechanman: ...
thechanman: …
thechanman: no?
m_gyuxx: omg protect the maknae
naega_hosh96: too pure for this world
angelic1004: nobody taint my baby
angelic1004: that includes you, shua
sugoixboy95: D:
sugoixboy95: why me??
xX_w0nd3rw@ll: your ‘waifus’
sugoixboy95: WHAT HAVE THEY EVER DONE TO YOU??
woozihoon: Oh yeah, definitely guard him from Hyung
junhui_the_way: (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ～『✧~*protect Chan from Jisoo*~✧』
__b00n0n: lmao #rip hyung
minghaomie: i love how nobody answered chan’s fucking question yet
choi_scoups: language!
minghaomie: i love how nobody answered chan’s f**king question yet
seokmyass: hyung ur talking 2 the king of foul mouth
m_gyuxx: lol that’s true
m_gyuxx: and sass
minghaomie: my f**king sassy kingdom
xX_w0nd3rw@ll: omg i can’t believe that 97 line is agreeing on things
naega_hosh96: QUICK, 96 WE HAVE TO ONE UP THEM!
junhui_the_way: ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* \(◕‿◕✿)/ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
junhui_the_way: (ﾉ⊙ヮ⊙)ﾉ～『✧~*96 LINE IS THE BEST LINE*~✧』
junhui_the_way: ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* \(◕‿◕✿)/ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
woozihoon: ...I guess that’s one way to do it, Jun…
naega_hosh96: lol junnie’s the best
thechanman: THAT
thechanman: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
thechanman: “LOL”
hvcny98: lol came back just in time
hvcny98: lord of lizards
thechanman: really??
hvcny98: rly
thechanman: what does rly stand for??
choi_scoups: chan, that doesn’t--
hvcny98: roaring lizards yodel
choi_scoups: …
choi_scoups: oh well then
sugoixboy95: wow there are so many acronyms i didn’t know existed
angelic1004: ...y’know i’m just going to roll with that
xX_w0nd3rw@ll changed their username to jeonu.
jeonu: oh wow i found this cool new feature
naega_hosh96: !!!! I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT LIKE FIVE SECONDS AGO
thechanman changed their username to lolchan.
lolchan: WOW WONWOO HYUNG YOURE SO COOL
naega_hosh96: EXCUSE ME??
__b00n0n changed their username to hitthekwan.
angelic1004 changed their username to jeongel.
choi_scoups: jeongel?
jeongel: its my name + gel from ‘angel’
jeongel: thanks for mentioning this, wonu
naega_hosh96: !!!!!
seokmyass changed their username to seokmybutt.
m_gyuxx: what was the point in that?
seokmybutt: we have to keep it pg for chan, remember?
seokmybutt: wonwoo hyung youre a lifesaver
jeonu: i try
seokmybutt: you succeed
naega_hosh96: =____=
m_gyuxx changed their username to gyuhao.
gyuhao: TO SYMBOLIZE MY LOVE FOR MY FRIEND, HAO OVER HERE--
minghaomie changed their username to stfumingyu.
gyuhao: …
gyuhao changed their username to haoloveme.
stfumingyu: nah you good
gyuhao changed their username to lonelygyu.
junhui_the_way changed their username to jeffrey.
jeonu: …
woozihoon: …
naega_hosh96: ...
naega_hosh96: jeffrey?
jeffrey: that’s me (◕‿◕✿)
jeonu: jun why
jeffrey: no, my name is jeffrey not jun
woozihoon: …
woozhihoon left the chat.
choi_scoups added woozihoon to the chat.
choi_scoups: nice try
woozihoon: It was worth a shot.
hitthekwan: JIHOON HYUNG CHANGE YOUR USERNAME TOO
hitthekwan: TO ‘OURLOVELYHOON’
woozihoon: Why in the world--
hvcny98: guys i just took the best shit of my life
hvcny98: oh yeah jihoon hyung, do it
hvcny98: its cute
choi_scoups: LANGUAGE
hvcny98: he won’t know, hyung
lolchan: wait what’s shit stand for?
hvcny98: i told you
hvcny98: it stands for ‘stop helping ignorant rats’
lolchan: OH OKAY :D
choi_scoups: i have no words
hvcny98: chan why did you add ‘lol’ to your name
lolchan: because i’m lord of the lizards :0
sugoixboy95: jihoon-ah, change your username with me :3
woozihoon: To what?
sugoixboy95: OURLOVELYHOON xD
sugoixboy95: it’s cute :3c
woozihoon: ...I don’t know...
sugoixboy95: please?
sugoixboy95: PLEASE?
sugoixboy95: :3
sugoixboy95: please with a cherry on top?? :3
hvcny98: hyung doesn’t like cherries
sugoixboy95: with a banana on top?
woozihoon: ...Okay.
woozihoon changed their username to ourlovelyhoon.
sugoixboy95: THE BANANA WORKED xD
ourlovelyhoon: ...sure it did, hyung.
hitthekwan: WHY DID YOU DO IT WHEN HYUNG SAID IT
hitthekwan: BUT NOT WHEN I SAID IT
hitthekwan: #RUDE
hvcny98: whoa
hvcny98: you used the hashtag correctly and not excessively
jeffrey: ( ^▽^)
stfumingyu: congrats kwan
naega_hosh96: GO DONGSAENG THATS MY DONGSAENG THATS MY DONGSAENG
hitthekwan: :’) i’d like to thank the academy
naega_hosh96: okay back to important matters
hitthekwan: >:0 SO RUDE
naega_hosh96: ARE WE GOING TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT WONU TOOK CREDIT FOR MY DISCOVERY?
jeonu: yes
jeonu: anyway
stfumingyu: lol savage
stfumingyu: wonwoo hyung join me and my f**king sassy kingdom
jeonu: most definitely
jeonu: i’m honoured
stfumingyu: jeonghan hyung you can join too
choi_scoups: WHAT
choi_scoups: MY JEONGHAN IS AN ANGEL
jeongel: your jeonghan?
jeongel: i’m my own man, cheol
hitthekwan: hao, make hyung the royal advisor of your kingdom
ourlovelyhoon: I second that.
hitthekwan: OH SEE JIHOON HYUNG AGREES WITH ME :’D
hitthekwan: AND HE LOVES ME!
ourlovelyhoon: I do, but don’t push it.
lolchan: what does that stand for?
hvcny98: what does what stand for?
lolchan: push
jeonu: chan, not everything is an acronym
seokmybutt: people use shocking herbs
seokmybutt: (wonwoo hyung just roll with it)
jeonu: (oh okay)
ourlovelyhoon: (You both realize he’s reading this too, right?)
naega_hosh96 changed their username to fightmewonu.
fightmewonu: ALRIGHT WE’RE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW
fightmewonu: JUNNIE YOURE WITH ME RIGHT?
jeffrey: no, i’m jeffrey (✿◠‿◠)
jeonu: jeffrey, you’re with me right?
jeffrey: YES (◕△◕✿) !
fightmewonu: JUNNIE NO!!!
ourlovelyhoon: No, it’s Jeffrey.
fightmewonu: JEFFREY NO!!!
stfumingyu: i never thought i’d see the day when i saw 96 line fight
seokmybutt: lol i kno
lonelygyu: hao, are you ever going to change your name?
stfumingyu: probably not
lonelygyu: :’) okay
seokmybutt: lol maybe 4 ur bday hao will change it
stfumingyu: i won’t but good attempt
sugoixboy95: IS IT SOMEBODY’S BIRTHDAY??
sugoixboy95: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
jeongel: shua, it’s nobody’s birthday
sugoixboy95: where’s the cake? :3c
choi_scoups: … hey, can someone order cake?
fightmewonu: OH SO IT IS SOMEONE’S BIRTHDAY?
hitthekwan: IT IS?
hitthekwan: WHO’S BIRTHDAY IS IT?
jeonu: not soonyoung’s
fightmewonu: YOU KNOW WHAT, WONU??
jeonu: WHAT KWON??
jeffrey: it’s mine (⊙△⊙✿)
sugoixboy95: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFFREY! ♡
jeongel: shua, it’s not jeffrey’s birthday
sugoixboy95: it’s not? :(
choi_scoups: (JEONGHAN, DON’T MAKE HIM SAD)
jeongel: (IT’S NOBODY’S BIRTHDAY THOUGH)
choi_scoups: (I KNOW, BUT WE CAN’T MAKE SHUA SAD!)
jeongel: (UGH, FINE. JIHOON, GET THE CAKE WITH SOONYOUNG.)
ourlovelyhoon: (Why me?)
fightmewonu: (DOES THAT MEAN HOONIE IS ON MY SIDE?)
ourlovelyhoon: (Sure, Soon.)
fightmewonu: (YEAH SUCK MY ASS, WONU!)
seokmybutt: (no you have to say suck my BUTT)
fightmewonu: (YEAH, SUCK MY BUTT, WONU!)
hvcny98: (why are we talking in this?)
hitthekwan: (yeah, doesn’t everyone see this?)
sugoixboy95: oh why is the chat so quiet suddenly? :3
hitthekwan: (i stand corrected)
hvcny98: (lmao)
lolchan: (I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS)
lolchan: (LEMONS, MANGOES, APRICOTS, ORANGES!)
lolchan: (:D)
stfumingyu: (okay, but someone should really talk to jisoo hyung)
lonelygyu: (why don’t you?)
stfumingyu: (why don’t you stfu?)
lonelygyu: (:’) so mean…)
choi_scoups: (xu minghao)
stfumingyu: (fine fine, sorry gyu)
lonelygyu: (it’s okay, i forgive you)
seokmybutt: (OH, LOOK AT MY LINE!! ALL HAPPY AND SHIT!!)
sugoixboy95: is anybody still on? :0
lolchan: (what does shit stand for again?)
jeffrey: hello, jisoo hyung ヽ( ˃ ヮ˂)ノ
sugoixboy95: OH JEFFREY!
sugoixboy95: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :D
hvcny98: (chan, it stands for someone hit innocent rakes)
lolchan: (i thought it was something about rats?)
hitthekwan: (no it changes sometimes)
hitthekwan: (#languagesareconfusing)
jeffrey: thank you,hyung ｡：ﾟ(｡ﾉω＼｡)ﾟ･｡
sugoixboy95: what would you like as a gift? :3c
ourlovelyhoon: (What kind of cake does Jun like?)
fightmewonu: (no, it’s jeffrey!)
jeonu: (aren’t you guys at the same place for the cake?)
fightmewonu: (we are)
lonelygyu: (then why are you two not talking to each other?)
ourlovelyhoon: (soonyoung’s in the bathroom)
hvcny98: (soon hyung, are you taking a shit?)
lolchan: (HYUNG, DON’T HIT INNOCENT RAKES! OR RATS!)
ourlovelyhoon: (Pardon?)
hitthekwan: (#lol ignore that)
choi_scoups: (we should just pick a cake that jisoo likes)
jeongel: (just pick whatever, he just loves cake in general)
stfumingyu: (he should just change his name to cakeboy95)
sugoixboy95 changed their username to cakeboy95.
cakeboy95: (Guys, I can see this. I hope you realize that.)
cakeboy95: (This is all just a front I put.)
jeongel: (HOLY SHIT)
lolchan: (STOP HARMING THE RAKES AND RATS!)
choi_scoups: (what the hell jisoo??)
cakeboy95: (The chat is being archived and recorded. What if the government sees this? I can’t risk anything!)
cakeboy95: (But let’s pretend I never said any of this and get on with our acting, alright?)
cakeboy95: (Also, I like chocolate cake the most.)
cakeboy95: JEFFREY, YOU NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR GIFT? :3
ourlovelyhoon: (Wow, 95 line is something else.)
fightmewonu: (yes sol, i took the best shit of my life)
hvcny98: (ayyyy lmao)
jeffrey: anything you give me is fine, hyung
butwenjunhui entered the chat.
butwenjunhui: hey guys. sorry my laptop froze before seungcheol hyung added me into the chat.
Why artists and writers reblog their work multiple times:
They posted it late at night and want people to see it in the daytime
They want others to reblog it
They want more attention for it
THEY WANT OTHERS TO REBLOG IT
They have followers in different timezones and want everyone to get a chance to see it
THEY WANT OTHERS TO REBLOG IT
IF THEY REBLOG IT MULTIPLE TIMES, THEY’RE DOING IT BECAUSE THEY WANT ATTENTION FOR IT AND THEY’RE LIKELY NOT GETTING ENOUGH, SO THEY KEEP REBLOGGING IT IN THE HOPES THEY’LL GET SOME
Relevant and relatable. A big thank you to anyone who reblogs my artwork. You have no idea how much that means to me. That you feel it’s good enough to want to share with other people. It’s HUGE.
Title: Wherever
Pairing: Hancheol (Seungcheol x Hansol)
Length: 2,461 words
Summary: Wherever Seungcheol goes, Hansol follows.
Hansol’s hands were gripping the metal wires of the fence tighter than he had expected. They wobbled a bit in his grasp as he kept leaning in with his forehead pressing in and pulling back as he balanced on the heels of his sneakers. He looked in, watching the children run around freely on the soft mulch as they ran around chasing each other.
“Hansol!”
He turned around and saw Seungcheol already a block away as he motioned him over with his left hand as his right hand held the backpack slinging over his shoulder tightly. Hansol pulled his hands back and made his way over, the fence vibrated at the aftermath from the last tug of Hansol’s fingers.
“Did you get the tickets?”
“Huh?”
“The train tickets.”
Hansol rummaged through his pockets, his hands making scratchy sounds against the denim material. Seungcheol hummed as he watched the younger one while sipping on the bottle of Sprite he managed to snag a little while ago.
“Well?”
In a sigh of relief, Hansol found the two tickets in his right, back pocket. “Here, here. Uh, I think it leaves in like twenty.” Seungcheol nodded and handed Hansol the bottle of Sprite—which was still half-full after the elder took a large gulp— before they both started walking towards the station.
“You always do that, you know.”
“Do what?” Hansol asked after he waterfalled the Sprite into his mouth. His cheeks were full after closing his mouth and he grimaced at the sensation of the bubbles fizzing up.
Seungcheol snickered. “Playgrounds. You always go to them wherever we go.”
“Oh…”
“You know you’re more than welcome to play on them if you want…”
Hansol shook his head after swallowing and tilted his head up to waterfall once more. “I don’t think the kids would like it if a twenty-something year old invaded their territory.”
“As if they own it?” Seungcheol laughed.
The younger one handed the bottle back, presumably stating that he was done drinking it. “I think I’d rather just watch…”
They turned the corner and walked uphill before the saw the train in the far horizon rushing towards the station. The two shared a look before immediately running towards the stairwell upward where the train was to rest for only thirty seconds. A minute at most.
Hansol was surprisingly keeping up with Seungcheol. He usually lags behind on account of how he gets out of breath so easily. Seungcheol would usually take his hand and pull him—essentially dragging him— in the nick of time before they missed the train.
They sat down right in front of each other. Their bags sprawled across the table in an unkempt manner as their chests violently rose and fell while their mouths gasped for air. The attendant looked at them with a dumbfounded expression as Hansol handed over their tickets to be looked over before they settled down coach.
Shuffling through his bag, Hansol grumbled to himself in regret as he rummaged for his earphones.
“You could have just wrapped them up and shoved them in your pocket,” Seungcheol hummed as he leaned back in his seat across from the unorganized one, looking through his camera collectedly. Hansol pouted at the other one who looked up with a cheeky grin before tossing over an opened envelope. “Wonwoo says hi.”
Hansol pulled the letter out and unfolded it carefully. Two polaroids fell onto his lap as he skimmed through his friend’s letter. He smiled to himself. “Glad he’s enjoying his trip in Japan.”
“Said he wanted to meet up with us again.”
“Seoul?”
“I’m assuming so.”
“With Mingyu?”
Seungcheol shrugged. “He didn’t say if he was still travelling with him. You know Mingyu, always on his own agenda.” Hansol nodded in understanding as he looked over the letter again. Seungcheol watched as the younger one’s eyes trailed side to side attentively with a small squint. “Glasses.”
Hansol looked up in confusion. “Pardon?”
“You’re squinting again. Wear your glasses.”
“But I look silly,” Hansol pouted, surrendering when Seungcheol gave him that look and rummaged through his bag once again to look for his glasses case.
The elder grinned as Hansol began reading the letter with his glasses. His eyes trailed back down to his camera, reviewing the photos they had taken within the past few hours that day. “They turned out well.”
“Solid,” Hansol hummed as he nodded to himself before handing the letter back to Seungcheol. He pulled out his notebook out of his backpack and flipped to the next clean page, taking the pen from behind his ear—which Seungcheol was rather surprised by the fact it stayed from all that running earlier— and began to write.
“You’re writing already? It’s only noon.”
“I forgot to write my entry from yesterday.”
Tilting his head, Seungcheol looked over and saw how concentrated the other was with his writing. “You write a lot.”
“I like writing,” Hansol looked up at the older one and smiled before looking back at his notebook. “Helps me remember what we did on our adventures.”
“We didn't do much yesterday.”
“Everyday's an adventure. Especially without an itinerary.”
“Alright, Philosopher Choi.” Hansol snickered as Seungcheol followed right after. “I checked out of the apartment while you were on the playground by the way. Host said we were a pleasure to have.”
“All we did was make ramen at three in the morning and sleep. I think anyone that minimal would be a pleasure to have.”
Seungcheol was always fond of Hansol’s humour, though he never verbally admitted it. It was always a nice touch to their adventures together. He looked out the window before checking the time on his left wrist. “We’ll be in Busan by two. Should we call up Jihoon? Maybe we can have lunch.”
Hansol shrugged. “Won’t he be bothered?”
“Oh, he won’t mind. You know he likes seeing us.”
“Yeah,” Hansol rolled his eyes, “because he totally didn’t kick us out of his studio the last time we visited him two months ago.”
“Hey, it’s still worth a shot!” Hansol grumbled as he wrapped up his journal entry and clicked his pen while Seungcheol was texting Jihoon. “Sol, you finished writing?”
“Yeah,” the younger one yawned. “Might take a nap. Wake me up when the service cart comes around?”
Seungcheol grinned. “As per usual.”
Hansol flashed a sleepy yet grateful smile before he plugged in his earphones and leaned his head back against his seat. He immediately knocked out minutes later, a talent that Seungcheol wish he had as well.
He began cleaning the tabletop and organizing Hansol’s items back into his backpack. Hansol wasn’t as messy as their friend Soonyoung who’s bag is filled with empty wrappers and old receipts, but it wasn’t exactly the most organized either. Seungcheol neatly placed today’s ticket in the ticket pocket Hansol used. He was about to put in Hansol’s journal when a polaroid fell out.
Seungcheol picked it up from the floor and flipped to today’s entry to place it back it when he glanced at the photo. It was of him, his backside facing the camera as his arm was lifted as he sipped on a bottle of Sprite. He was unaware Hansol took this photo. He placed the polaroid between the pages before the wording caught his eyes.
“Respect, admiration, and trust equals love.” I understand that because of Hyung.
--
They arrived in Busan five ‘til two. Hopping off with a few other passengers, they made their way out of the station to where Jihoon said he would meet up with them.
“I can’t believe Hyung actually agreed to have lunch with us,” Hansol yawned as he stretched his arms before adjusting his backpack straps.
Seungcheol quickly shook his head as he realized how long he had been staring at Hansol. He coughed, “yeah, I can’t believe it either actually. Glad he agreed to it though.”
It took a few minutes— twenty, to be exact; which is pretty lengthy according to Jihoon—before they could locate the exit and spot Jihoon who was waiting at a bench underneath a tree for shade.
“It took you two long enough,” Jihoon scoffed before squealing when Seungcheol pulled him up to his feet and pulled him in for a hug. “Yah!”
“Good to see you too, man!” Seungcheol laughed before he unwrapped his arms. Hansol chuckled at the sight as he walked towards Jihoon for a hug before they did their handshake.
Jihoon led them to a local restaurant nearby that he usually goes to on his lunch breaks. They sat at his usual table as he talked to the waitress to get his usual order plus a few more side dishes before they were served their beverages. Seungcheol tilted his head peculiarly at Hansol.
“No soda?” he asked.
Hansol blinked and shook his head. “I should only drink one bottle per day.”
“Since when were you so health conscious?” Jihoon snickered.
“Oh, no. It’s not for my health. It’s for my wallet.”
“Soda isn’t expensive,” Seungcheol replied.
“It isn’t but it adds up, and at the end, you’ll end up with less money than you expect,” Hansol nodded as he placed the straw in his water cup. “So, water for the rest of the day.” The older ones chuckled.
It wasn’t long before it was just Jihoon and Seungcheol at the table when the food arrived as Hansol was in the bathroom. “He seems to be growing up pretty fast.”
Seungcheol sighed. “I’ll say.”
“Pretty mature, too. Maybe even more than you are.”
“Hey now, I’m still your hyung.” Seungcheol scrunched his nose as Jihoon stuck his tongue out.
“Still. I think this gap year for him is doing him wonders. Has he looked into grad schools yet?”
“He has a whole list of them he wants to apply to. I told him to narrow it down to at most six.”
Jihoon hummed as he sipped his iced coffee. “Yeah, that’s definitely Sol for you. Always ahead of the curb. Speaking of which, you ever going to tell him?”
“Tell him what?”
“Hyung, don’t play dumb with me.” Seungcheol looked over and blinked at Jihoon’s facial expression. “Well?”
Seungcheol shook his head as he placed his drink back down on the table a bit too forcefully as he began to stir the noodles in front of him. “I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I feel like I shouldn’t.”
“I feel like you should.”
Hansol peaked in through the corner of their eyes and they both became silent. The younger one hummed as he oohed at the food in front of him before he quickly began devouring it. Jihoon looked over and smiled. “Hungry?”
“Well, someone didn’t wake me up when the service cart passed us on the train.” Jihoon laughed at Hansol’s gaze at Seungcheol (who was blushing) before he went back and slurped his noodles. “This is really good, Hyung.”
He stayed quiet as Hansol and Jihoon’s conversation faded in the background. It’s not that he didn’t want to tell Hansol, but it just seemed so inconvenient and untimely.
Seungcheol was always on the go since he had to take photographs of various landmarks and places in various cities. He used to travel with his two other friends as well, Wonwoo and Mingyu. Together, the four of them travelled together. Being a freelance photographer’s friend has its perks when he’s able to let you tour new places with him.
It wasn’t long before Wonwoo and Mingyu went their separate paths for their own careers that the quartet became the duo. Hansol stayed along as had enough free time to do so since he finished his undergraduate studies. Though their career paths differed tremendously, the two still shared their love for travelling.
Along the way, Seungcheol believed it began when they travelled to Hong Kong, there was an inkling in his subconscious that caused him to have an epiphany of his feelings for Hansol. He wasn’t in denial of it, but he made sure to keep it classified, only telling Jihoon of such confidential information. Seungcheol couldn’t help it though, he couldn’t help how much Hansol meant to him.
Jihoon offered them to stay at his place for the few days they were in the area, but Seungcheol declined as he already had an apartment offered to him for free around the town he had to photograph.
They entered the apartment room and Hansol gasped in amazement. “Whoa! Look at this view of the city!” He instantly dropped his bags onto the first bed as he ran towards the window, his hands leaning against the glass much like they did so on the bars of the playground. Seungcheol smiled and shook his head at how enthusiastic and youthful the younger one was.
“I’m guessing this is your bed,” he hummed as Hansol ignored his words. Seungcheol placed his bags on the other bed as he quickly entered the bathroom to wash up.
Coming back out, he saw Hansol writing in his journal again.
“Is that for today?”
Hansol nodded as his hands and eyes didn’t leave the page. “I didn’t take any pictures of Jihoon hyung though, so I’ll probably take them tomorrow when we meet up with him for dinner.” Seungcheol nodded as he plopped himself onto his mattress and sighed in relief. Hansol giggled. “Tired, Hyung? Maybe you should turn in early for the night.”
Seungcheol turned his head and looked at Hansol sleepily before yawning. “Yeah, that’s probably what I’m going to do.”
They continued to talk as Seungcheol began to slowly nod off before Hansol heard him snore. He chuckled to himself and looked over to make sure his hyung was sincerely asleep before he flipped through his notebook to the back page.
He knew that Seungcheol skimmed through his entries now and then when he wasn’t looking, but he was thankful that Seungcheol didn’t check every page to find his lyrics page. It would be embarrassing if he ever saw the lyrics, Hansol thought. Especially since much of them pertained to Seungcheol.
Hansol wasn’t sure what it was, but Seungcheol was very special to him. So much so that he began writing down every phrase that came to his head from all these feelings. The pages began to accumulate throughout the trip, probably since the start of their Hong Kong adventures. It was getting pretty late as Hansol was finishing up his last bit of lyrics before he closed the book and turned off the lamp. He turned under the sheets before he was comfortable before he glanced over at Seungcheol once more, smiling to himself before he slowly drifted off.
If I’m in your heart
If I’m really in your heart
Then whenever you are,
I will follow you.
I just binged read all of your writing and the ones on 17writernet and honestly I'm a mix of emotions like I'm giggly, crying, etc and have no idea where to express this. So, here I am, just wanting to say awesome work you have and hope you have a great day~ :D
OMG! Thank you so much, this message is seriously appreciated ;; I’m so glad you enjoy my writing. Be sure to check the other writers on the network as well! I hope you have an amazing day as well, my dear!!
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Fic writers are honest to god like the best people on this earth. Like they write these massive stories that are better described as books and the only thing they ask for in payment is a review. Like seriously. These people spend months of time planning and writing and thinking and they don’t even get PAID. Fic authors are amazing and deserve the best, that is all
I sometimes have to pay for water, but with a phone and some wifi, I get to read whole novels about my favorite characters for exactly zero additional dollars
This is why we MUST give writers our grateful feedback, comments, kudos etc.
It’s the very least that can be done, when fanfic writers do such wonderful things for us. :)
Seriously, a simple “I like your work” or “looking so forward to your next story” is enough to make a fan fic writer’s day, it makes us so happy you have no idea.
So, thank you to every single person who likes, reblogs and comments on my stories or leave a (Anon) message. Thank you all so much♥
Title: Birds on a Power Line
Pairing: Mingsol (Minghao x Hansol)
Length: 1,533 words
Summary: Their hands are gripping, the clock is ticking, and there’s just something about Hansol that tugs on Minghao’s heartstrings.
“You’re an idiot,” Minghao scoffed as he shoved his phone back into the pocket of his scarlet red hoodie as he watched Hansol timidly walked into the dim and slightly damp alleyway. Hansol pouted before adjusted the hood over his head and fiddling around with the strings attached before Minghao let out a snicker. “You actually came.”
“I said I would,” Hansol replied as he stood in front of Minghao. “The TA let me out of my lab earlier than I expected, so I just took the bus straight here rather than home.” He beamed a smile that shined even in the dull light setting as Minghao coughed to keep his composure.
The two walked. Down the dark alleyway that Hansol was hoping that they wouldn’t go down. He stays close to Minghao. Closer than usual. The arms of their jackets—Minghao’s left, Hansol’s right— kept rubbing against each other, causing the materials to produce a scratchy sound that vaguely echoed. Hansol kept glancing up to see if Minghao would move so the sound would cease, or just in general since he seems to do that a lot anyway, but he didn’t.
“We’re matching,” Minghao commented as his breath produced a puff of warm air in the cool draft.
Hansol looked down and saw how they were both wearing the same outfit: black windbreaker, coloured hoodie (Hansol’s was pink), grey sweats that hugged their ankles that were covered with black knee-high socks, and their Adidas running shoes. “I usually wear this,” Hansol hummed as he looked back up to their slim pathway. “Maybe you’re just copying my style.”
They snickered, Minghao nudging Hansol as he rolled his eyes and muttered how the younger one should shut up. “I was going to just wear a hoodie—”
“—but you didn’t because the wind’s been picking up,” Hansol interrupted, “and so you thought ‘Oh, I’ll wear a windbreaker with this to keep warm.’” He grinned cheekily when Minghao puffed his cheeks silently, an indication that Hansol was precisely correct. The younger one poked the older one’s cheek and laughed when Minghao slapped his hand away.
Minghao smiled a bit from the sound of Hansol’s soft laugh. “Don’t you have an early class tomorrow?”
“It’s not that early…”
“It’s at fucking eight o’clock in the morning.”
Hansol frowned. “Yeah, it’s pretty early. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have time to hang out with you!”
“We see each other every day, Sol,” Minghao hummed as they turned the corner to another alleyway. It was wider than the previous ones they’ve been walking, but their arms were still touching.
“Yeah, but you’re different when you’re not your ‘school self,’” Hansol nodded to himself as he went to playing with the strings of his hoodie. “On campus, you’re very lively and like teasing Mingyu hyung while also hugging and talking to the others. Off campus, you’re quieter. Don’t talk as much, just think a lot. It’s an interesting side of you.”
Minghao stiffened a bit but tried to not make it obvious, which Hansol didn’t seem to catch anyway. “Aren’t you like that too?”
Hansol shook his head. “No, I’m usually quiet in general. I’m only loud around the guys or people I’m comfortable with.”
“Maybe that’s my case too.”
“I don’t think so. I’m just an introvert, you’re like an introvert and an extrovert. An ambivert.”
“You’re such a fucking psych major,” Minghao exhaled as Hansol just smiled.
They reached the building that Minghao said they would climb and Minghao pulled down the ladder from the fire escape downward, causing a clamorous, rusty sound that made Hansol squeal and cover his ears promptly.
“Hao!”
Minghao turned as his right foot and left hand were already on the rungs of the ladder. “What?”
“What if we wake someone up?” Hansol pouted as he watched Minghao climb the ladder swiftly while humming.
“I highly doubt anyone in a city would care. If anything, they probably think we’re just a cat climbing around.” Minghao reached the landing and turned down and saw Hansol struggling. “I thought you work out.”
Hansol quickly shushed him as he kept climbing quietly. “I don’t want to disturb anyone,” he whispered. Minghao rolled his eyes and offered a hand out to Hansol when he was in arm's reach and pulled him up. Minghao suddenly felt the rush of blood rush throughout his body, mostly towards his cheeks and fingertips, he wasn’t sure why but he’s assuming it was for the purpose of heat distribution since Hansol’s hands were so cold in comparison. The sound of his foot touching the landing startled Hansol, but he didn’t have enough time to react as Minghao already climbed up towards the second landing.
They managed to reach the roof within a few minutes. (Though, they would have been there sooner if Hansol climbed up without caring about how loud the volume of his foot or hands were while touching the rungs of the ladder.) Minghao pulled his phone out and began typing away as Hansol looked over Minghao’s shoulder and rested his chin against the wind breaker. “Who are you texting?”
“Soonyoung hyung,” Minghao answered just before he sent the message. “Meeting him here with Seokmin.”
“Why are they out this late? On roofs?” Hansol asked as he trailed behind Minghao who went to the railing at the edge of the roof, sitting on the roof flooring with his legs dangling in between the spaces of the railing poles. Hansol mimicked his action and gripped onto the vertical bars, looking over at Minghao while still awaiting an answer.
“Soonyoung hyung and I do this all the time. Sometimes he brings Seokmin with him.”
“Oh, like me!”
“Sort of, except, y’know, Seokmin usually says yes and actually goes with Hyung when he asks.”
“Hey, I told you I would when I can, and I’m here now, aren’t I?” Hansol puffed his cheeks. He scrunched his nose when Minghao smiled and poked his cheek before they both turned back to looking at the skyline and the lively city below them. “You do this often?”
“Usually just on Mondays,” Minghao shrugged. “The rest of my week is busy and then weekends are filled with work.”
Hansol nodded. “Why?”
“Why?”
“Yeah, why do you do this? Sit on the rooftop of a random building and just— this?” Hansol questioned with his palms wide open while he motioned to the landscape around them.
“Hm, I’m not sure actually,” Minghao answered truthfully as he leaned back, resting his palms on the roof pattern. “It is pretty, I like looking at the buildings, lights, and people underneath me… but, huh, I guess it’s just relaxing? I mean, wouldn’t you agree?”
“Oh, yeah it’s astonishing,” Hansol nodded excitedly. “I’ve never done this before. It’s pretty amazing.” He hummed as he took in the atmosphere. “I don’t know… I guess I’m just so busy with school since I’m double majoring in such heavily loaded work fields that I don’t really have the time…”
“You made time now.”
“Well, yeah. I wanted to spend time with you,” the younger one professed. Minghao was caught off guard, seeing as though he literally felt his heart skip a beat. The mere fact that Hansol found time in his busy schedule just to spend an hour or two with him meant the world to him, but with the confession that Hansol wanted to spend time with him left him dumbfounded.
He snapped out of his trance when he realized Hansol was snapping his fingers in front of his face. Minghao quickly grabbed his phone out and hissed. “Shit, it’s getting late and you really need to get home to rest up for your class tomorrow.”
Hansol blinked. “Huh? No, it’s fine. The bus ride from here is probably like an hour—”
“I just texted Hyung that we can’t meet up with them tonight.”
“Ah, Hao…”
Minghao patted Hansol’s back and gave him a small smile, Hansol turning his head shyly in response. The younger one was the first to stand up and helped the older one to his feet. “I’ll ride with you home.”
“You live the opposite direction,” Hansol commented as he walked to the fire escape. Minghao quickly grabbed his hand, making Hansol turn his head before blushing embarrassed when Minghao pointed to the staircase door behind them which they proceeded to walk towards.
“Yeah, but I just want to make sure you get home safely.”
Hansol smiled before squeezing Minghao’s hand as they kept their hands interlocked as they made their ways down the stairs. Even making their way out of the building and down to the nearest bus stop, their hands remained together. “You can let go, Hao.”
“Your hand is cold,” Minghao mumbled as he pulled at the left string of his hoodie, enclosing the hood over his hair as Hansol snickered giddily.
“Well that’s fine, since your hands are warm. Transfer of heat and everything.”
“Your bio major side is showing.”
“Shit, sorry,” Hansol chuckled.
They stood by the bus stop sign while their hands were still locked. “Don’t worry about it,” Minghao hummed as he turned to Hansol with a grin. “It’s an interesting side of you.”
Title: Northern Lights
Pairing: Soonseok (Soonyoung x Seokmin)
Length: 2,247 words
Summary: Maybe Seokmin’s just about mad at how dangerous it is to follow Soonyoung across the rooftops. Or maybe he’s just mad about Soonyoung.
A/N: Based on “Cave Me In” by Gallant x Tablo x Eric Nam. (WHICH YOU GUYS SHOULD REALLY LISTEN TO, PLEASE SUPPORT!)
Seokmin was already out of breath even though they were only on the sixth flight of stairs of the building. His hands were already feeling clammy from gripping onto the railing for dear life. He looked up and saw how Soonyoung was ahead of him by a landslide, clearly in better shape. “How much longer?” he managed to heave out, his voice echoing throughout the stairwell.
Soonyoung stopped in his tracks and looked down from the railing about a story higher than Seokmin’s position. “I’d say about five more,” he replied before his head disappeared from Seokmin’s vision and the continuous sound of footsteps filled the atmosphere as well as Seokmin’s ear canal.
He honestly can’t believe he was still following Soonyoung when he could just take the elevator like a practical person. But he also can believe his current actions. Who else would hopelessly trail behind a night owl who practically parkours around the city skyline at ungodly hours? Nobody. Only fools would.
Seokmin is a fool.
A fool for Soonyoung.
He reaches the eighth floor when his knees are practically wobbling and begging to be amputated from the amount of pressure Seokmin put on them. He wants to apologize, but he also doesn’t have the lung capacity to do so as he was still exhaling heavily. He paused as he reached the nine floor and leaned against the wall. The only thing in his head were footsteps and doubt.
It wasn’t long before he saw a pair of running shoes in front of his converse on the ground. Looking up, he jumped a bit and leaned back against the wall slowly once more when he saw Soonyoung smiling in front of him. Soonyoung grabbed Seokmin’s hand and led him up the flight of stairs. Seokmin squeezed the older one’s hand, as if his life depended on it. He wasn’t exactly sure how long he’s been trying to catch his breath, but he felt breathless whenever Soonyoung pulled that stunt.
(So did Seokmin purposely stop in hopes Soonyoung would come by and take him by the hand to the rooftop? Maybe. Maybe not.)
It was about half past two when they finally reached the rooftop. Soonyoung opened the door to the outside world and inhaled it all: the mixed smell of gasoline, street food, alcohol and smoke; the view of the sky lit with gleaming stars and neon lights near the streets below; and the sound of the drunk people yelling and laughing, the cars rushing and beeping, and the wind blowing gently across the scenery. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” Soonyoung sighed as he untangled his fingers with Seokmin’s and moved closer to the edge of the railing.
The younger one weakly followed behind before leaning his elbows against the rail and taking in the view. “It is awfully pretty.” He side-glanced at Soonyoung before looking down at the streets below, thankful that Soonyoung was too distracted to see the blush pigment on his cheeks.
It wasn’t long before Seokmin looked up and grunted to himself how Soonyoung was already climbing down the nearby fire escape ladder down to the nearby building that was about two stories shorter than the one they were currently standing on. (Seokmin was a bit ticked off they didn’t climb that building instead in the first place, but he nudged that thought off his shoulder.)
“Seok, hurry up!” Soonyoung shouted from the rooftop below. “Hao and Sol are waiting for us about four blocks away.”
(Scratch that, why didn’t they meet at that building instead? Seokmin was never one to question Soonyoung’s antics though.)
Seokmin sighed and climbed down the ladder, practically squealing and clinging to the fifth bar as his left foot almost slipped from the dew that was already forming on the rusted iron bars. Fortunately, he managed to stick the landing on the platform before carefully climbing off the edge of it to the next building’s rooftop.
He wouldn’t consider himself a professional like Soonyoung at this, but he’s climbed, fallen, and slipped enough times to call himself more than a novice. As Seokmin caught up to Soonyoung who was leaning against the air vent of the apartment they were on top of, he couldn’t help but take a step back at how alluring Soonyoung looked in such a light setting.
“Need a break?” Soonyoung smiled as he turned his head from the horizon to Seokmin’s direction.
He tried to play it cool and hold in his breath to say that he was fine and that he was ready to jump another rooftop, but Soonyoung laughed as he saw right through that white lie. They sat down, their legs hanging off the ledge. Seokmin was internally panicking from how one slip could lead to his ultimate doom, but the fact that he was with Soonyoung made that thought a bit hazy.
Soonyoung reached into his pockets and pulled out two plastic casings of string cheese he purchased beforehand and nudged the younger one with his free hand before handing one to him.
“Cheese?”
“A bag of chips didn’t fit in my pockets,” Soonyoung joked. Seokmin caved in and took the cheese as they both started eating it while looking around, enjoying each other’s company while drowning into the city sounds.
“You’re eating it wrong.”
“Huh?” Seokmin looked over at Soonyoung baffled.
“The cheese,” Soonyoung pointed out down to the unwrapped string cheese that Seokmin was biting into. “You’re supposed to pull down the cheese into strands and eat it like that.”
“I wasn’t aware there were rules for eating cheese,” Seokmin snickered as he copied Soonyoung’s actions and pulled at the cheese and ate the straid. (To his surprise, it did make the cheese taste better.)
“As much as I love breaking rules, I think that’s the only rule people should follow,” he snickered. Seokmin admired how Soonyoung was rebellious pulling stunts like this while simultaneously being easy going and docile. The elder pulled out his phone and chuckled. “Well, shit, Hao and Sol definitely ditched us. Said we took too long.”
Seokmin pouted a bit. “Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Nah, don’t be,” Soonyoung smiled as he finished his last strand of cheese and shoved the plastic wrapper into his pocket to discard into a trash bin later. “Hansol has an early class tomorrow and Minghao is a sucker for Sol, so of course he’d leave early for the sake of Hansol.”
“I didn’t know they were a thing.”
“They aren’t. Minghao isn’t admitting anything. Denial, I suppose. Also, Hansol is slow with this sort of thing.”
The younger one nodded in understanding. (He totally understood what denial and oblivion felt like.) “Hm, maybe we should keep going anyway?” Seokmin suggested. “You said you wanted to see how far we could reach until four, remember?”
Soonyoung looked over surprised. “I said that two weeks ago… You still remember that?”
“Oh…” Seokmin blushed. “Yeah, kind of… I just have a good memory.” He slid back from the ledge and put his feet on the roof ground before stretching his arms and letting out a deep sigh. “Well, shall we keep going?”
“Actually,” Soonyoung began as he hopped back onto the roof flooring, “let’s take the alleyways back home… Junhui is going to scold me if I stay out past five and Mingyu usually worries about his roommate not being there when he wakes up for his night shift, right?”
Seokmin blinked before nodding slowly, following Soonyoung down the stairwell of the building, quietly enough so that they don’t disturb the residents who may call the police on them for disturbing the peace. (It’s happened once, their friends never let Soonyoung live it down for almost being jailed for arguing aggressively with an elder lady.)
They definitely scaled a few more roofs before eventually climbing down another apartment’s fire escape ladder down to an alleyway. Seokmin was a bit nervous, one with the nearby lamp post light flickering on and off in the dimly lit setting, the nearby doorway though sounds like it’s creeping open, and the rush of the automobiles that pass the by on the streets so quickly and loudly. Soonyoung elbowed Seokmin who let out a squeal at the gesture.
“Scared, Seok?” Soonyoung snickered.
Seokmin blushed. “N-no…”
“No need to lie,” the elder teased as he calmly shoved his hands into the pocket of his pants after adjusting the hood over his head and walked towards the flickering light. Seokmin trailed behind before walking next to Soonyoung. “It’s pretty down here too, don’t you think?”
The younger one looked around at the sight. It was probably almost five in the morning—meaning that Soonyoung was about to get scolded by Junhui—and saw how the atmosphere still displayed the darkly coloured sky only to be illuminated with the street lights that were still lit up. “Yeah, it is pretty.”
“Nothing beats the lights from the roofs though.”
They kept taking the back routes through small alleyways, small one-way local streets, and the occasional convenience store that was still blindly lit with a sleepless employee behind the counter. “Do you have work tomorrow?” Seokmin asked to stimulate the quiet atmosphere.
“Off tomorrow. I’m on PTO for a week. You?”
“I work from home, so I can start whenever I want.”
“Lucky,” Soonyoung chuckled. “Guess that means we can go out again tomorrow—or rather later on tonight, huh?”
“I’d like that,” Seokmin smiled. They bowed to an elder lady who walked past them. (Thankfully, not the one who almost snitched on Soonyoung or else Seokmin would be in the middle of a rock and a hard place.) The sun has still yet to rise as they were nearing Seokmin’s apartment.
Soonyoung blinked when he felt Seokmin grab his hand and squeeze it. “Seok—”
“Let’s go to a roof,” Seokmin suggested, running towards the nearest building—an office that had yet to be opened for the morning— and picked at the lock before opening the door and leading Soonyoung up the stairs.
“Seok, what are you doing? What if we get caught?” Soonyoung had never been on this side of the table as he kept his hand intertwined with Seokmin’s and followed him up the stairs of the stairwell that seemed to echo louder than any other stairwell they’ve climbed. He noticed the look on Seokmin’s face, the way his lips curved into a slight crescent while a slight hum from his lips escaped and gently decorated the atmosphere. Though unknown why, Soonyoung couldn’t help but be in awe of the sight.
They reached the top of the stairs, which was thankfully just five stories, before opening the door to the rooftop. Both gasped at the sight of lawn chairs and a coffee table in front of them before they rushed over and sat down, sighing as they both relaxed.
“What was that for?” Soonyoung asked as he folded his hands against his stomach and began twiddling his thumbs together as he observed Seokmin on the other chair. “Usually I’m the one who does that to you.”
“Guess I thought we could switch roles for a bit,” Seokmin smiled. He looked at his watch before resting his hands back behind his head. “I wanted to watch the sunrise with you,” he confessed. “It’s supposed to be in an hour.”
“Junhui’s going to go off on me when I return home.”
“We can leave if you want.”
“I didn’t say no,” Soonyoung smiled as he moved his chair over so that he was sitting next to Seokmin. He copied his younger friend’s action and grinned at him. “Maybe after this, we can get breakfast?”
“Yeah,” Seokmin nodded. “Or we can cross a few more buildings until we reach my place so that Mingyu can cook breakfast for the both of us.”
“Oh, I don’t want to intrude…”
“I’m inviting you. Plus, I already told Mingyu you’re coming over, so he already planned the ingredients before we headed out.”
They chuckled together before their conversation trailed off to talking about their roommates and deciding what to do later on tonight. The sun began to rise just in the nick of time and Seokmin used his left palm to cover the light that was aiming directly at them.
“Wow, it’s so bright,” Seokmin smiled. “Not what we’re used to, huh, Soonyoung?” He looked over to see Soonyoung passed out on the chair, tilted so that his head was facing Seokmin while his hands were hidden in the sleeves of his sweater. Seokmin leaned over and zipped up the older one’s hoodie all the way up before leaning back in his own seat sighing in relief. “Man, I cross roofs for you, put my life at risk for you, sacrifice my sleep for you—” He looked over and snickered when he heard Soonyoung inhale a large amount of air before snoring it out.
Seokmin looked around to see the birds starting to fill the sky. A few landed by the railing nearby while others settled for the telephone poles around the surrounding area. The sound of bustling cars and people greeting each other began to fill the atmosphere as well. He scooted his chair closer to Soonyoung’s until the arms touched. Daringly, he lightly rested his head on top of Soonyoung’s before smiling to himself for being so gallant.
“I’ll wake him up in ten,” he muttered to himself before he slowly started humming to himself again as he enjoyed the early worm atmosphere with his resting night owl.
Title: Like Ocean Waves
Pairing: 96 Line (Junhui, Soonyoung, Wonwoo, Jihoon)
Length: 4,101 words
Summary: Kwon Soonyoung can be defined by four things: cereal, gameplays, his three friends, and a ton of existential crises.
A/N: (Located after fic.)
“You know,” Wonwoo hummed as he leaned his elbows on the countertop while texting on his phone and side-glancing Soonyoung, “it's unhealthy to eat anything after nine in the evening.”
Soonyoung looked up as he shoved another spoonful of the cereal he's been addicted to the past few weeks into his mouth before he started chewing, grabbing his own phone and unlocking it to reveal the current time of two minutes before three in the morning. “Well,” he shrugged as he stuck his spoon back in the milk once again, “it's a good thing that time is just a social construct.”
The older one yelped as he felt the painful delivery of a flick to the forehead by the younger one’s middle finger. “You always say that kind of shit during this time.”
Standing up and firmly grasping his bowl, Soonyoung frowned as he went to the fridge to get more milk for the box of chocolate cereal that was already out on the other side of the counter. The two heads turned as they heard footsteps and yawning approach the kitchen. Jihoon yawned, “Why are you two still up?”
“Why is that even a question?” Wonwoo snickered.
“Touche,” Jihoon nodded as he stole Soonyoung’s stool at the countertop, causing the one pouring the cereal into his bowl to whine. “Again, Soonyoung?”
“Let me live!” Soonyoung grumbled as he came back with his bowl overflowing with cereal and milk back to the counter.
“I’ll let you live when you learn how to cook.”
“I can cook!”
“Cereal doesn’t count,” Wonwoo interjected.
“Shit. Fine, I can’t cook,” Soonyoung rolled his eyes as he began to dig out into his cereal.
“Why are you up, Ji?” Wonwoo asked as he locked his phone and put it face down on the marble surface.
“Been studying for my test tomorrow… Thought I’d take a coffee break and study for another hour before crashing. Roasting Soonyoung seems to be an effective method though.” Soonyoung frowned up at the two and saluted his middle finger at them both. “Hey,” Jihoon grinned, “ride and die together, remember?”
They both snickered as Soonyoung finished his bowl and gently placed it at the bottom of the sink before grabbing the sponge on the left side of the sink and turning the water to a lukewarm temperature. He mumbled to himself how he’s always the target with their jokes as the other two talked amongst themselves. Truthfully, he didn’t mind though. In fact, he was a good sport with the hits compared to the other three.
Wonwoo took some of the jokes to heart, usually writing in his thoughts journal how he doesn’t know if his habit of holding doors for people make him vulnerable to being taken advantage of by elders.They don’t mess around with him as much anymore. Jihoon would always threaten to shove his fist up the their asses— which Junhui certainly didn’t mind, but the other two did— or various other threats. Once, their friend, Kim Mingyu, asked Jihoon how the weather was down there and the scene ended with Mingyu on the floor of the new dining hall screaming with ketchup and ice cream over his face. They don’t mess with Jihoon. Junhui was a different story entirely as he brought up related conspiracy theories that usually made the guys ponder for the entire week about their existence and their life choices. (This was especially bad for Soonyoung who has too many existential crises to count.)
Soonyoung was the last choice, and a good one at that. He never held the jokes against the guys, he never threatened them (or at least everyone knew he wouldn’t come through with them), and he usually just shrugged it off and went on with his life.
After washing his dishes, Soonyoung waved at the other two who were chatting up a storm about the new book Wonwoo bought at the nearby bookstore that had similar personality traits to their friends. He peeked into Junhui’s room, even though the door was wide open so it wasn’t technically ‘peeking,’ seeing his older friend lying down on his mattress with the blanket covering his bare back as he was scrolling through his phone.
“What are you up to, Junnie?”
Junhui looked up and hummed. “There’s this gameplay of a new indie game--”
Soonyoung gasped and jumped onto Junhui’s bed, causing his friend’s body to lift off his mattress as his eyes were still glued to his phone. He threw his blanket over Soonyoung’s back and moved the screen so the two of them can see it.
“Oh, is this Hansol’s video? I didn't know he had access to the beta.”
Junhui nodded. “Apparently, him and Jisoo hyung got the key from the developers to show their viewers. They've been getting more subscribers too.”
“It's because of their reactions when they play horror games,” snickered Soonyoung. They continued watching their friends’ video until Junhui felt a weight on his shoulder. Literally. Soonyoung knocked out and started snoring lightly only ten minutes into the video.
Junhui moved the pillow his elbows were resting atop of to his left and carefully placed Soonyoung’s head on it, smiling when his friend continued to snore peacefully.
In the morning, Junhui turned and saw Soonyoung with his eyes wide open staring at the ceiling. He stretched and rubbed his eyes as he turned to his friend and whispered. “Morning Soo-”
“Shush, Junnie.”
The drowsy feeling in Junhui suddenly vanished as he looked at Soonyoung. Dilated pupils, chest rising faster than usual, scratching his head frequently while breathing heavily in and out of his nose: crisis.
Soonyoung is known for his existential dread, one with the constant questions of how small human creations are in comparison to the universe and always joking around about his unfulfilled and undiscovered purpose (that is always more serious than he depicts). He often feels them in waves, one right after the other; sometimes non-stop, sometimes with a break in between, ranging between a day to a few weeks. It’s inconsistent, like ocean waves, he often described to himself.
Junhui’s seen Soonyoung in this state more than the other two, so he knew what to do. He put his hand on Soonyoung's shoulder and patted it as he reached his other hand out to reach for his phone to check it. It's not that he was undermining the situation, but he knew he shouldn't talk to Soonyoung like this. Once he saw Soonyoung move around again and heard his breathing calm down, he looked away from his phone.
“That was quick.”
“I've been awake the past hour. Guess my thoughts stopped crashing in.”
“Progress?”
Soonyoung shrugged before he sat up slowly and ruffled his hair. “I don't know. Maybe? Is that even possible?”
“Baby steps, Soon. Remember.”
“I know, I know… ah, I'm hungry, what time is it?”
“Early. But Jihoon’s awake already.”
They both got off of the bed, Soonyoung insisting on folding the blanket and fluffing the pillows as Junhui got ready in his bathroom. He looked at his friend, remember that cleaning made his mind relax before nodding and washing up.
The four guys were outside in their kitchen as Junhui was cooking breakfast and Wonwoo and Jihoon were sipping their coffee. Soonyoung was tapping the fork on his plate to a certain rhythm anxiously.
“He probably had one this morning when he woke up,” Wonwoo whispered.
Jihoon nodded. “He might have had a bad dream… He’s been having nightmares more often.”
“Do you think he’ll tell us?”
“No, it’s not much of a dream and I forgot most of it,” Soonyoung coughed. The two looked at him surprised as he was still tapping his fork, a bit faster as he was watching Junhui plate the eggs.
Breakfast was mostly eaten in silence, with the other three whispering occasionally asking what the plans were for today. But Soonyoung was silent. He finished the food quickly before washing the plate, grabbing a bowl from the dishwasher, and heading for the pantry for cereal. The three watched. Junhui said that cereal probably held some sentimental value to their friend, so they never stopped him when he ate it in place of meal times.
“Fuck, we ran out,” Soonyoung exhaled. He closed the pantry door airly as he went to his room to grab his key and a hat. Waving after he adjusted his hair, he headed straight for the door. “I’ll be back in fifteen.” The door shut and the three looked at each other.
“Wonwoo, I thought it was your turn to buy cereal for him,” Jihoon frowned.
“Me? I did it last month! It was definitely Junhui’s turn to do so.”
“I did,” Junhui blinked. “I bought it two weeks ago. I didn’t expect him to finish it this fast.”
“I don’t think any of us were,” the shortest one commented as he collected their plates and utensils and headed for the sink. Jihoon turned on the faucet and grabbed the sponge as he washed up while the other two cleaned around the kitchen.
“That’s the fifth time this week that’s happened,” Wonwoo said as he broke the uneasy silence. “And it’s only Wednesday.”
“We should talk to him,” Junhui nodded as he was sweeping the floor before Jihoon shook his head in disapproval of the idea. “What? I think he needs help. Ride and die, right?”
“I do too, but you know what happened last time we tried the talking method. I think it’s a miracle that he’s still rooming with us after that episode.”
“Well then, Jihoon, what do you think we do? Continue to watch our friend suffer this alone?”
“Junhui, I don’t know. I just don’t want him to think we’re being bad friends again.”
Wonwoo watched the two argue and pouted. It wasn’t the first time those two argued over Soonyoung and it certainly wouldn’t be the last, but he felt uncomfortable every time the situation came around. After he wiped the table, he grabbed his jacket, backpack and books, put his glasses, and waved as he left the apartment to go to campus.
He walked his usual route, looking up at the dimly grey coloured sky. The sun was nowhere in sight but thankfully there was no chance of rain. Wonwoo didn’t quite understand what went through Soonyoung’s mind and as much as he wanted to know, he didn’t want to seem pushy or end up arguing with him like his other two friends.
The crosswalk signal turned red and Wonwoo waited in his usual spot near the railing where most people lock their bikes. He adjusted his glasses to better his field of vision when he saw Soonyoung on the other sidewalk, a plastic bag filled with at least three boxes of cereal, walking away from their apartment.
“He doesn’t have classes today,” Wonwoo muttered to himself. “He usually stays in the apartment on Wednesdays too…” The signal turned green and Wonwoo quickly and quietly followed his friend, deciding that he would have to skip today’s book discussion in his literature class today. (Which is fine, by the fact that he was doing well in the class and attendance isn’t mandatory.)
Soonyoung ended up on the second floor of the library in his usual study spot with his apartment mates. Wonwoo peaked behind a bookshelf and was genuinely surprised to see his friend pull out a bowl, a carton of milk, and a spoon from the plastic bag. He watched as Soonyoung pulled out his phone and scrolled through his video subscriptions list and laid the phone on the table, plugging his earphones in as he proceeded to pour himself cereal.
Wonwoo jumped a little and turned around, nudging a snickering Hansol. “Hey, hyung,” Hansol whispered. “Why are you hiding? Is that group mate you hate over there?”
“Well first off,” Wonwoo scrunched his nose, “I don’t hate Mingyu. He’s just… really affectionate… and also doesn’t read the books we’re assigned like he’s supposed to. Secondly, no, I’m monitoring Soonyoung.”
“At the library?” Hansol peaked over his hyung’s head and saw their friend eating cereal while watching videos on his phone before pulling back. “Oh… he’s eating cereal here? That’s pretty unusual… even for him. Did you hyungs fight or something?”
“No. We didn’t even talk to him that much this morning. He had another… ‘moment.’”
Hansol knew what Wonwoo meant and patted his back. “Maybe we can try to talk to him to talk to my professor again? She does it one-on-one and it’s all confidential. It’s free too, since it’s part of our tuition.”
“Thanks, buddy. I don’t think he’s ready to talk though. Maybe in due time.”
“Hm, well alright. I’d just leave him be for now though. Maybe he just wants alone time with his cereal.” The two did their handshake as the younger one went off to continue his day. Wonwoo signed as he looked back at Soonyoung, stuck between wanting to talk to him but not wanting to push him away farther and giving him his space but still making sure he was okay. He went with the latter, going to his next class and mumbling how he’ll message the other two about this.
Thursday, things went back to normal: the guys were talking as if that ‘moment’ never happened and the went out for their Thursday tradition of discount wing from the nearby restaurant. Soonyoung was talking excitedly about this new gameplay he watched as they were awaiting their orders, Junhui was nodding in response as his younger friend was talking.
Wonwoo nudged Jihoon and whispered. “He seems better.”
“Guess he needed that alone time.”
“I wish he’d talk to us though.”
“We all do,” Jihoon sighed. “But baby steps, this is hard for him.” He patted his taller friend’s back before the food arrived at their table and they all started eating.
“Hey, Junnie,” Soonyoung hummed as he wiped his mouth. “Can I try one of your wings?”
“Soon, you know that you can’t handle spice that well…”
“But I want to try it! You eat it so deliciously!” Junhui shook his head as Soonyoung whined. “Please? Please? Please, Junnie?”
Junhui eventually gave in and handed a wing to his eager friend who excitedly bit into the wing and chewed it happily.
Jihoon muttered under his breath. “Five… four… three… two…”
Soonyoung started wiping the sweat off of his forehead as he continued to eat the wing. “Oh, this is really good, Junnie!”
“Soon, you’re sweating again,” Wonwoo commented as he passed over more napkins from the dispenser and wiped Soonyoung’s cheek.
“I told you, you shouldn’t have,” Junhui grumbled as he handed over his water after Soonyoung finished chugging down his own cup.
“No regrets!” Soonyoung replied as he grabbed Junhui’s cup and chugged it down as well. The three couldn’t help but snicker as their friend, who continued to ramble as Wonwoo patted napkins over his face and Jihoon ordered more water for the table.
“You know, water just spreads the spice around your mouth, right?”
“Shush, Jihoon!” Soonyoung pointed at his short friend, “it’s the only free beverage and it still washes the food down, so I’ll suffer!” They snickered, patting Soonyoung’s back as encouragement as he kept pumping himself up to endure.
Saturday was their free time together. Either filled with video games, chores, movie marathons, or a combination of the three. However, Jihoon’s little cousin, Lee Haneul, was dropped over so it was an exception to the usual.
Haneul was sitting in his usual spot in the kitchen colouring his book as he was talking about school (which, for a seven year old, consisted of addition, snacks, and playtime). Soonyoung loved hearing about it though. He lives second furthest away from his loved ones, so he only saw his family on long breaks. Haneul filled that hole though.
“Hyung, are you eating cereal again?” Haneul asked as he watched his cousin’s friend pour milk over the corn flakes in the bowl.
“Ah… maybe…”
“Hyung, you should eat more things other than cereal… like ketchup! Ketchup is good.”
Jihoon whined from the other room. “Haneul, I said to stop eating ketchup by itself!”
Haneul just giggled in response as he continued colouring. Soonyoung sat next to him with his bowl of cereal and started eating while the other three were cleaning around the apartment. (Soonyoung won rock-paper-scissors, so he was exempted from chores that day.) He peaked over to see what Haneul was drawing, snickering at how cute it was. “That’s cute Haneul, is that you?”
“Yeah! And my wife, Sofia!”
“Oh, Hansol’s sister?”
“Mhmm, we go to school together. She’s in my class and I already said I’m going to marry her.” Soonyoung continued to listen to Haneul ramble on about his future wedding with his future life-partner as the other three kept smiling at the sight. It’s been awhile since they saw Soonyoung smile and talk about something that wasn’t about cereal or gameplays.
“This week has taken a good turn,” Wonwoo smiled as he was folding the towels next to Junhui who was putting the covers back on the pillows.
“I’ll say… maybe we can talk to him now about his… ‘moments’...”
“Jun, that might be pushing it.”
“I beg to differ,” Junhui hummed as he tossed the covered pillow with the others, hitting Jihoon— who was organizing the laundry— in the process. “He’s in a good mood, maybe he’ll be more open about it. Maybe while Haneul takes his nap, we can.”
“I second that,” Jihoon nodded. “Hopefully, he’ll be able to talk by then.”
It was two in the afternoon when a sleeping Haneul was placed into Jihoon’s bed. Junhui was setting up his console and Wonwoo was checking the batteries on each controller. “Hey, Soon,” Jihoon coughed as he was texting on his phone, “did you sleep well last night?”
“Hm?” Soonyoung responded as he kept his eyes glued to his own phone. “Oh, yeah I slept pretty well. Had a good dream too… I think… I don’t really remember.”
Wonwoo and Junhui sat in their positions on the couch as they all logged into their users and started playing their campaign. Junhui looked over at Jihoon as they squeezed Soonyoung in between them, both nodding before Jihoon coughed. All of their eyes were still concentrating on their individual screens on the television as they were talking.
“So… you haven’t had a ‘moment’ in a while, huh?”
“Yeah, I think my last one was on Wednesday morning when I crashed in your bed…”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Jihoon asked.
“I don’t think there’s much to talk about,” Soonyoung shrugged. “It’s done with anyway, there’s no point in talking about it, right?”
They all gasped when the game paused, Junhui placing his controller down as his eye were attentively looking at Soonyoung. “No point? Soonyoung, you go through these ‘moments’ more often than you think and you shouldn’t belittle them.”
Wonwoo blinked as he noticed the gaze in Junhui’s eyes. “J-Jun, don’t push it.”
Soonyoung furrowed his eyebrows a bit. “Belittle them? I’m not though. I just go through it so often that I’m used to it.”
“Soonyoung, you should share what you experience though. We want to help you.”
Jihoon tightly gripped Wonwoo’s wrist. He wasn’t much of a talker in these situations because he didn’t want to raise his voice. Him and Wonwoo let Junhui do the talking.
“Help?” Soonyoung scoffed. “What good is helping me? I overthink, I have an episode, and then I go back to normal. There’s nothing to worry about.”
“When was the last time you went to class?” Junhui kept a sharp eye on Soonyoung.
“What?”
“Answer the question. When was the last time you went to your classes?”
Soonyoung stayed silent and broke his eye contact with Junhui before mumbling softly. “Last month.”
Wonwoo frowned. “Soonyoung… then what have you been doing when we think you go to class?”
Rubbing the back of his neck and changing his field of vision to the floor beneath his feet, Soonyoung sighed. “Library… eating cereal…”
“Soonyoung, that’s not good,” Junhui shook his head.
“I know it’s not, Junnie, but what else am I supposed to do? I feel like all I have are crises and nightmares now!”
In a slow and calm voice, Jihoon was able to speak. “Y-you had a nightmare?”
“I have one almost every night now,” Soonyoung confessed.
Junhui ran his hand through his hair and leaned back against the couch as he sighed and pulled Soonyoung close to him to wipe his eyes. “You could have come into any of our rooms and crashed with us. We know that helps you sleep better.”
“I didn’t want to be a burden…”
“You’re not a burden to us, Soon,” Wonwoo reached over and grabbed Soonyoung’s hand and squeezed it. “We’re your friends… we’re here for you even when you have your ‘moments.’”
Soonyoung was silent as he wiped his eyes before Jihoon handed him the box of tissues on their coffee table. “I don’t know… I don’t know what to do…”
“Then let us help you,” Junhui suggested as he fondly rubbed Soonyoung’s back. “Remember when we had to stop Haneul from revealing so many secrets to Jihoon’s music class partner last semester?”
Jihoon groaned. “She still wonders why I don’t let Haneul come with me when we work on group projects anymore…”
“And remember that one time when we saved Wonwoo from such an awkward blind date with that one kid in his philosophy class?”
“He wouldn’t stop going on about Schrodinger’s Cat and I just really wanted to finish my salad in peace…”
The four of them snickered, even Soonyoung who couldn’t help it though he was still rubbing his eyes. “Point is,” Junhui continued, “we’re here for you and we’ll be with you every step of the way. No matter how much we joke you, we still care.”
Soonyoung nodded. “I know that…”
“Then you should know we’re always here for you, dumbass!” Jihoon grunted, as the other three hugged him. “Hey, hey, what did I say about hugging?”
“Shut the fuck up, Ji,” Wonwoo snickered. “We know you love it when we have a group hug, just accept it!” Jihoon blushed and sighed as he let his friends embrace him.
Wonwoo was the first to feel a teardrop from Soonyoung’s eyes onto his arm and he looked and saw. “Shit, Kwon, are you crying?”
“Fuck no, man,” Soonyoung rubbed his eyes before he cursed under his breath when the tears started rolling down his eyes. The guys snickered and pulled tissues from the box to wipe his face. “Ew, guys stop!”
“No, you have no choice,” Jihoon nodded as he wiped the taller one’s left cheek. Soonyoung squirmed out of their touch as they all started laughing.
“Man, you guys are the worst,” the sniffling one whined. “I’m making myself cereal.” The other three watched before they looked at each other and nodded in unison, knowing they all had the same idea.
“Hey, Soon,” Junhui called out, “make three other bowls of cereal.”
“Um, use almond milk for me though,” Wonwoo coughed as he scratched his cheek.
“And make it snappy! I still have to beat your asses in this campaign. I might even beat my high score,” Jihoon grinned cheekily.
Soonyoung was hustling in the kitchen before he came out with four empty bowls and four spoons. “Man, fuck you guys. Make your own damn cereal. I’ll bring out the boxes and milks.” The other three gave him a thumbs up. “Oh… and… I’d like it if you guys could… maybe accompany me to see Hansol’s professor… it’d mean a lot.”
“Of course we’ll go with you,” Junhui smiled as he rubbed Soonyoung’s arm. “We could do a group therapy session if you want.”
“Fuck you, Jun, I didn’t sign up for that,” Jihoon grimaced.
“Ride or die together, right?” Jihoon rolled his eyes and nodded as the three snickered in response. The four smiled at each other before Wonwoo threw a pillow at Soonyoung.
“Alright we’ll cut the cheesy shit now, just don’t forget my almond milk!”
“And ketchup!” a small voice sluggishly walked into the room, Jihoon groaning in response as Haneul smiled happily up at Soonyoung.
Soonyoung still faced the dread; the clammy hands, the heavy breathing, the negative and uncontrollable thoughts. He felt there was no way around it, but he knew he could endure the crashing waves, even in these situations. They’ll ride the waves together.
A/N: This went from silly to serious in ten seconds flat. WTF. I basically characterized Soonyoung as me and my problem with existential crises. Really wanted to touch upon the subject for my friends who don’t quite understand but still want to help. Can’t thank you guys enough for supporting me despite my lack of expression of gratitude. Also huge shoutout to Hana for sticking with me with everything we go through. You know how much I love you but here I go, saying it again. (THANKS BABE, I LOVE YOU. I ADDED HANEUL AGAIN FOR YOU, HEHE.)
Title: 3AM
Pairing: Wonhui (Junhui x Wonwoo)
Length: 2,975 words
Summary: It was their time together, their own moment of peace from the rest of the world, that causes Junhui to live in a constant state of nostalgia.
A/N: Based on the Busted song.
Junhui beeped the horn. He was using his old, retired car that he started using yesterday since his convertible was in shop getting treated. He leaned back in his seat as he waited for Soonyoung to come down from his apartment. The car reminded him of Wonwoo’s torn up 2001 model that he rarely used since the engine always needed a reboot and the rest of the car was falling into pieces. Junhui was always the one to drive Wonwoo around.
He was feeling the torn leather of the steering wheel cover, sighing to himself. Running his fingers down it to smoothen the flap that formed, he remembered the way Wonwoo picked at it constantly every time he drove it and they stopped at a read light. Junhui would constantly pull Wonwoo’s hands off the steering wheel so he doesn’t destroy the cover, but subtlely because he liked holding Wonwoo’s hands while they drove around at night.
There was a knock on the front passenger window that shook Junhui out of his trance as he turned and unlocked the door that Soonyoung entered through and plopped down in his seat as he slammed the door closed, screaming when he saw the seatbelt jam in the door.
Junhui snickered. “Pretty sure you’re the reason this car has turned into a piece of shit.”
“Junnie!” Soonyoung whined as he opened the door and pulled the seatbelt out and closed the door once more before buckling himself in and squealing when Junhui accelerated. Looking over, Soonyoung could see the daze in Junhui’s eyes: how he was looking onto the dark and nightly road in front of them with only the street lights lighting their path. “Stressed?”
“How’d you know?”
“It’s two in the morning and you look dead.”
“Gee, thanks.” Soonyoung pouted as Junhui glanced over and snickered as he changed gears with his right hand on the gear shift. “Yeah, I’m dead.”
“Because of stress?”
“I guess you can say that.” The passenger just nodded silently and leaned back in his seat before reaching down beneath the cushion to lean his chair back further as he stretched his arms and his fingertips dragged across the ceiling.
“Oh gosh, there’s still that rip on the ceiling.”
“Really?” Junhui replied nonchalantly. “I never really notice these things.”
“Well good,” Soonyoung nodded as he lifted his head at a slight angle. “You should always keep your eyes on the road, Junnie!” They both snickered before Junhui made a turn and the wheels inclined upward onto the slight ramp, causing Soonyoung to disturb the silence in the atmosphere with another interjection.
Junhui parked the car in front of the convenient store before pulling his wallet out of his jacket and opened it, trying to ignore the polaroid of Wonwoo inside. He quickly pulled out one of his gift cards and slid in over the photo before he handed Soonyoung his credit card. “Just get me one pack. Oh, and two bottles of cola.”
“Two?” Soonyoung raised an eyebrow as he took the card between his pointer and thumb.
“One for me. One for you.” He displayed a vague smile when he saw the excitement that filled Soonyoung’s eyes before he struggled unbuckling his seatbelt and burst out the car door and into the store. Junhui leaned back in his chair before he locked the car doors. Sighing to himself he looked up at the tears in the ceiling that Soonyoung noticed. He snickered. “Of course I noticed that, Soonyoung. Wonwoo ripped those up when he sat on my lap in that chair.”
--
It was Junhui’s first car. His parents handed it down to him, which was an honour since he’s always wanted to own the most prized vehicle his family owned. The moment he held the keys he called Wonwoo to tell him the exciting news.
“Dang, I can’t believe your dad just gave it to you like that,” Wonwoo commented on the line as Junhui pouted and dangled the keys in front of his vision as he heard Wonwoo snicker to himself.
“Fuck you,” Junhui scoffed as Wonwoo snickered even louder.
“Love you too,” Wonwoo replied. “So? Are you picking me up or not? I have a few CDs we could play in the car.”
“Planning to go anywhere?” Junhui hummed as he stood up and grabbed his denim jacket as he waved at his mother before he headed out and unlocked the car. The sound sent shivers down his spine as if he was caught in a wave of ecstasy.
“Just for a drive,” Wonwoo hummed as he heard Junhui start the engine and smile when Junhui cheered loudly as he held the phone between his ear and shoulder. “We can go to the beach. Watch the sunset.”
“Ew, you sound like a fucking hopeless romantic,” Junhui shook his head as he pulled out of his spot and started driving to Wonwoo’s house.
“Maybe I am. You gonna love me any less?”
“Debatable. I’ll call you again when I’m there.”
“Or you can just honk, stupid.”
Junhui rolled his eyes and hung up a she heard Wonwoo laughing at his own joke. “Dumbass,” he muttered under his breath before smiling as his right hand gripped the gear shift and moved it from its position.
--
Soonyoung came back and opened the door, throwing the box of cigarettes in Junhui’s lap before smiling as he put the two bottles of cola into the cup holders underneath the broken radio. He slammed the door shut and smiled at his friend as he opened his bottle. “There was a two for one deal! Yours was basically free!”
Junhui nodded as he opened the pack before rolling his window down and pulling the lighter from his pocket. “I didn’t see any sign for that deal.” He listened as Soonyoung said that a little flirting with the cashier went a long way as he held out a stick to the flame before inhaling the smoke. He exhaled out the window and leaned back in his chair, his free hand rubbing the back of his neck.
“I thought you quit,” Soonyoung commented before he burped after chugging half of the soda.
“I wish I did,” Junhui sighed as he held the stick between his lips once more and repeated the action.”
The passenger pouted. “Junnie, you want to talk, right? That’s why you called me to come out?” Silence filled the atmosphere as well as the smoke that was let in with the breeze that blew by. Soonyoung coughed before he reached over and twisted the key so he could roll down his own windows. Junhui twisted the key back before pulling it out and gripping it in his lap. “Are you over him?”
“It’s been two years.”
“Is that a yes?”
“That’s an ‘I’m trying.’”
“Junnie…” He noticed that Junhui’s gaze focused outside and upward, probably towards the full moon that was out tonight. Soonyoung adjusted himself in his seat before he nudged Junhui. “Let’s drive to the beach.”
Junhui checked the time on his phone as he flicked what was left of the burnt out stick outside the window. “Soonyoung, it’s almost three in the morning.”
“Perfect timing. Let’s go!” Soonyoung pulled his seatbelt on and grabbed the keys in Junhui’s lap to start the engine as Junhui sighed and rolled their windows up and adjusted himself in his seat before he changed the gear shift.
--
Wonwoo jumped atop the trunk of the car before dangling his feet to block the license plate, making it bounce a bit. Junhui joined him and the car rocked heavily, making them grab each other’s arms and blushing in the process. They leaned back against the window as Junhui’s hand caressed Wonwoo’s thigh lovingly. Their heads faced the horizon where it was still dawn, their ears filled with the sounds of the waves crashing on the sand and the occasional light winds that passed by.
“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Junhui asked.
“Shouldn’t you be kissing me?” Wonwoo retorted back. Junhui snickered and leaned over as his lips brushed against Wonwoo’s teasingly before Wonwoo grabbed Junhui by his collar for a well-awaited kiss. They pulled back to catch their breaths before Junhui scrunched his nose.
“Asshole, we almost missed the sunrise.”
“It takes fifteen minutes for that to happen,” Wonwoo smiled cheekily as he rested his arms back and laid his head on his hands. Junhui scooted closer to him and patted Wonwoo’s stomach before pouting.
“How’s your new diet?”
“Fucking sucks,” Wonwoo sighs. “But I’m adjusting, I guess. It doesn’t hurt as much.”
“Is the medicine helping.”
“Yeah, but I don’t think the smoking is.”
They both snickered as Junhui reached and squeezed Wonwoo’s hand. “We can quit together. It’s not like it’s impossible.”
“Nothing is impossible with you, huh, Jun?” Junhui just smiled and shrugged as he pulled Wonwoo’s head to rest on his shoulder as they looked back to the horizon, enjoying the view. Usually by this time, Wonwoo would ask questions like how far does the horizon stretch, to which Junhui would probably reply with a smartass answer that would cause Wonwoo to push him off the trunk but cause them both to laugh.
But it was different this time. They both kept their mouths shut and just held one another, enjoying each other’s company. Junhui sat up and stretched his arms before looking back at Wonwoo. “It’s almost five in the morning. We should head back.”
“Or… we can do other things,” Wonwoo hummed as he jumped off the trunk and looked at a confused Junhui before he grabbed his hand eagerly and pulled Junhui down to the concrete. “You still owe me that promise.”
Junhui’s eyes widened a bit before he coughed. “Uh… out here? In the open?”
“In the car, stupid!” Wonwoo snickered as he pulled Junhui towards the passenger seat. “I bottomed last time though, so you sit in the seat this time.” Junhui blinked before smiling and agreeing to the plan.”
“Alright. But only because I love you.”
--
Junhui pulled into the abandoned parking lot, his car slightly tilted to one side because of how rocky the terrain had become. Soonyoung was gripping to his seat as Junhui snickered and parked in the usual spot his car tires were familiar with. He shut off the engine and unlocked his door after he pulled his seatbelt off and stepped out. Soonyoung mimicked his actions as they both leaned against the hood of the car, overlooking the beach that was now filled with waste products and a steady and easy pace of waves.
Soonyoung sighed sadly. “Not like how it used to be, huh?” He looked to see Junhui nodding silently as he handed Soonyoung the other cola bottle.
“I’m not gonna drink it. That smoke made me not want cola anymore.” Soonyoung pouted but took the bottle and opened it, the hissing sound as the bubbles began to fizz upward to the neck interrupted their silence. Junhui looked to the horizon, dark and still filled with the night sky.
“You usually come out here at this time, right?” Junhui shot Soonyoung a glance as he was sipping on the cola. “At three in the morning? Doesn’t the sun usually come out by now?”
Junhui swallowed the lump in his throat. “Y-yeah… usually. Maybe it’s just the clouds today.” The moon was still visible and Junhui leaned back until his elbows rested against the chipped paint on his car.
“This is the time you talk to him, isn’t it?” Soonyoung asked. Junhui looked over at Soonyoung who sighed. “Junnie, I know you. You’re my best friend. I know you come out here and stare at the sky and just start talking to Wonwoo.” He side glanced at the silent, older one. “I’m surprised you brought me out here with you this time.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be, you know I’m here for you.” He watched as Junhui pulled out his wallet from his pocket and pulled out the gift card to reveal the polaroid once again. “You kept it?”
“I never planned on disposing of it.”
It took a while to process before Soonyoung blinked. “It’s the anniversary.” Junhui was silent as he stared at the polaroid, his head having a mind of its own and nodding slightly before returning back to its place. Soonyoung hesitantly put his hand on Junhui’s back before rubbing it. “Junnie, please don’t feel guilty.”
“How can I not?” Junhui sighed quietly. “He drove this car. The truck hit the driver’s seat. If I decided to drive that night, he’d still be here.”
Soonyoung shook his head. “We’re just as upset, but we’re happy you’re here with us, Junnie. It’d be devastating to lose you both. And they managed to fix this car good as new as well.” He saw how Junhui’s hands were shaking a bit as he held the photo in between his fingers. The younger one hugged his friend by his waist and laid his head on his shoulder. Junhui’s soft whimpers filled the atmosphere as the clouds kept blocking the sun from rising.
--
“I can’t believe you ruined my fucking ceiling with your scratches,” Junhui grunted as he was patting the fabric back to its place as it kept drooping on him. Wonwoo snickered as he adjusted his seat in front of the steering wheel before looking at the back window as he pulled out of the parking spot.
“Oh shut up, that was such a good session and you know it!” Wonwoo smiled when he saw Junhui blush and grumble to himself in agreement. They began driving back to Junhui’s place from the beach. It was Sunday, almost five in the morning. Wonwoo offered to drive since Junhui seemed more tired than usual.
Junhui was dozing off in the passenger seat but kept trying to fix his head to look upward towards the street to keep Wonwoo company. Wonwoo noticed.
“Hey, you can sleep, Jun. It’s fine, really. I’ll just play one of the CD’s I keep in the car.”
“No, I should stay up with you. You always do it for me.” Wonwoo braked at the red light and leaned over and kissed Junhui’s cheek. “Relax, I’ll be fine. Oh, did you listen to the new mixtape I gave you last week? There were a couple of songs that I know you’d like.” Junhui shook his head, a bit guilty but Wonwoo just smiled and patted Junhui’s cheek before reaching over in the glove compartment and pulling out the case as they waited for the light to turn green. He slid the CD into the player as the soft melody and slow beat slowly led Junhui off to sleep.
Wonwoo smiled at the sight and squeezed Junhui’s hand before pressing his foot on the gas pedal, immediately looking to his left as he heard the sound of a truck honking.
--
Soonyoung shook Junhui before he slapped his friend’s cheek to wake him up. Junhui jolted up, the seat belt locking and pulling his back to the seat. “Junnie, we’re here.”
Junhui looked up to see himself in front of Soonyoung’s place. “Whoa…”
“You crashed on my shoulder after crying so I decided to drive you home. You know, even though we’re basically the same height and weight, you’re one hell of a guy to pull into a passenger seat.”
Soonyoung smiled when he saw a Junhui shake his head while rolling his eyes amused. “Yeah yeah, okay Soonyoung.”
“Oh,” the younger one snapped his fingers before he slammed his fist over the glove compartment before it opened and a few CD cases spilt onto the floor over Junhui’s shoes. “I figured out how to open it,” Soonyoung grinned. “Listen to a few of the CDs. I think they’ll help calm you down.”
Junhui was quiet again before he nodded and began collected the CD’s and stacking them on his lap before he opened the car door. “Let’s listen to them in your place? I could really use a cup of coffee right now.” Soonyoung smiled, nodding at how great of an idea it was as they headed out and Soonyoung helped him carry the stack. Junhui locked his car, gazing at it one more time with a brief sigh before turning back and following Soonyoung into his house.
--
“You keep making me these CDs and I keep having to find more room for them,” Junhui commented as he watched in amusement at how Wonwoo was trying to close the glove compartment in front of him.
“It’ll fit! Trust me!”
“Yeah, the last time you said for me to trust you, we had to explain to the officers that we weren’t going to cause any damage on the beach.”
“Well, we weren’t!” Wonwoo pushed upward on the latch and smiled in satisfaction as the compartment finally locked. “Ah, you might have trouble opening that, but it shouldn’t be too difficult to handle.” He saw Junhui nod as he rubbed the sides of his steering wheel. “What?”
“Why’d you give me your worn out cover? Have you seen how much you pick at this shit?”
“Hey, at least you’ll think of me every time you grip the wheel now.” He smiled before patting Junhui’s leg. “Well, when you have enough money to buy yourself a new car, you can decorate it how you want it.”
Junhui looked over and nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. But I like this car.”
“This piece of junk? Weren’t you saying earlier how you hated this fucking piece of shit when we were at the beach?”
“Well… yeah…” Junhui coughed. “I still do, but it holds a lot of memories. A lot of our memories.”
Wonwoo smiled, a slight blush on his cheeks, before nudging Junhui. “Then I hope you never throw this hunk of junk away.”
Junhui beeped the horn. He was using his old, retired car that he started using yesterday since his convertible was in shop getting treated. He leaned back in his seat as he waited for Soonyoung to come down from his apartment. The car reminded him of Wonwoo’s torn up 2001 model that he rarely used since the engine always needed a reboot and the rest of the car was falling into pieces. Junhui was always the one to drive Wonwoo around.
He was feeling the torn leather of the steering wheel cover, sighing to himself. Running his fingers down it to smoothen the flap that formed, he remembered the way Wonwoo picked at it constantly every time he drove it and they stopped at a read light. Junhui would constantly pull Wonwoo’s hands off the steering wheel so he doesn’t destroy the cover, but subtlely because he liked holding Wonwoo’s hands while they drove around at night.
There was a knock on the front passenger window that shook Junhui out of his trance as he turned and unlocked the door that Soonyoung entered through and plopped down in his seat as he slammed the door closed, screaming when he saw the seatbelt jam in the door.
Junhui snickered. “Pretty sure you’re the reason this car has turned into a piece of shit.”
“Junnie!” Soonyoung whined as he opened the door and pulled the seatbelt out and closed the door once more before buckling himself in and squealing when Junhui accelerated. Looking over, Soonyoung could see the daze in Junhui’s eyes: how he was looking onto the dark and nightly road in front of them with only the street lights lighting their path. “Stressed?”
“How’d you know?”
“It’s two in the morning and you look dead.”
“Gee, thanks.” Soonyoung pouted as Junhui glanced over and snickered as he changed gears with his right hand on the gear shift. “Yeah, I’m dead.”
“Because of stress?”
“I guess you can say that.” The passenger just nodded silently and leaned back in his seat before reaching down beneath the cushion to lean his chair back further as he stretched his arms and his fingertips dragged across the ceiling.
“Oh gosh, there’s still that rip on the ceiling.”
“Really?” Junhui replied nonchalantly. “I never really notice these things.”
“Well good,” Soonyoung nodded as he lifted his head at a slight angle. “You should always keep your eyes on the road, Junnie!” They both snickered before Junhui made a turn and the wheels inclined upward onto the slight ramp, causing Soonyoung to disturb the silence in the atmosphere with another interjection.
Junhui parked the car in front of the convenient store before pulling his wallet out of his jacket and opened it, trying to ignore the polaroid of Wonwoo inside. He quickly pulled out one of his gift cards and slid in over the photo before he handed Soonyoung his credit card. “Just get me one pack. Oh, and two bottles of cola.”
“Two?” Soonyoung raised an eyebrow as he took the card between his pointer and thumb.
“One for me. One for you.” He displayed a vague smile when he saw the excitement that filled Soonyoung’s eyes before he struggled unbuckling his seatbelt and burst out the car door and into the store. Junhui leaned back in his chair before he locked the car doors. Sighing to himself he looked up at the tears in the ceiling that Soonyoung noticed. He snickered. “Of course I noticed that, Soonyoung. Wonwoo ripped those up when he sat on my lap in that chair.”
--
It was Junhui’s first car. His parents handed it down to him, which was an honour since he’s always wanted to own the most prized vehicle his family owned. The moment he held the keys he called Wonwoo to tell him the exciting news.
“Dang, I can’t believe your dad just gave it to you like that,” Wonwoo commented on the line as Junhui pouted and dangled the keys in front of his vision as he heard Wonwoo snicker to himself.
“Fuck you,” Junhui scoffed as Wonwoo snickered even louder.
“Love you too,” Wonwoo replied. “So? Are you picking me up or not? I have a few CDs we could play in the car.”
“Planning to go anywhere?” Junhui hummed as he stood up and grabbed his denim jacket as he waved at his mother before he headed out and unlocked the car. The sound sent shivers down his spine as if he was caught in a wave of ecstasy.
“Just for a drive,” Wonwoo hummed as he heard Junhui start the engine and smile when Junhui cheered loudly as he held the phone between his ear and shoulder. “We can go to the beach. Watch the sunset.”
“Ew, you sound like a fucking hopeless romantic,” Junhui shook his head as he pulled out of his spot and started driving to Wonwoo’s house.
“Maybe I am. You gonna love me any less?”
“Debatable. I’ll call you again when I’m there.”
“Or you can just honk, stupid.”
Junhui rolled his eyes and hung up a she heard Wonwoo laughing at his own joke. “Dumbass,” he muttered under his breath before smiling as his right hand gripped the gear shift and moved it from its position.
--
Soonyoung came back and opened the door, throwing the box of cigarettes in Junhui’s lap before smiling as he put the two bottles of cola into the cup holders underneath the broken radio. He slammed the door shut and smiled at his friend as he opened his bottle. “There was a two for one deal! Yours was basically free!”
Junhui nodded as he opened the pack before rolling his window down and pulling the lighter from his pocket. “I didn’t see any sign for that deal.” He listened as Soonyoung said that a little flirting with the cashier went a long way as he held out a stick to the flame before inhaling the smoke. He exhaled out the window and leaned back in his chair, his free hand rubbing the back of his neck.
“I thought you quit,” Soonyoung commented before he burped after chugging half of the soda.
“I wish I did,” Junhui sighed as he held the stick between his lips once more and repeated the action.”
The passenger pouted. “Junnie, you want to talk, right? That’s why you called me to come out?” Silence filled the atmosphere as well as the smoke that was let in with the breeze that blew by. Soonyoung coughed before he reached over and twisted the key so he could roll down his own windows. Junhui twisted the key back before pulling it out and gripping it in his lap. “Are you over him?”
“It’s been two years.”
“Is that a yes?”
“That’s an ‘I’m trying.’”
“Junnie…” He noticed that Junhui’s gaze focused outside and upward, probably towards the full moon that was out tonight. Soonyoung adjusted himself in his seat before he nudged Junhui. “Let’s drive to the beach.”
Junhui checked the time on his phone as he flicked what was left of the burnt out stick outside the window. “Soonyoung, it’s almost three in the morning.”
“Perfect timing. Let’s go!” Soonyoung pulled his seatbelt on and grabbed the keys in Junhui’s lap to start the engine as Junhui sighed and rolled their windows up and adjusted himself in his seat before he changed the gear shift.
--
Wonwoo jumped atop the trunk of the car before dangling his feet to block the license plate, making it bounce a bit. Junhui joined him and the car rocked heavily, making them grab each other’s arms and blushing in the process. They leaned back against the window as Junhui’s hand caressed Wonwoo’s thigh lovingly. Their heads faced the horizon where it was still dawn, their ears filled with the sounds of the waves crashing on the sand and the occasional light winds that passed by.
“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” Junhui asked.
“Shouldn’t you be kissing me?” Wonwoo retorted back. Junhui snickered and leaned over as his lips brushed against Wonwoo’s teasingly before Wonwoo grabbed Junhui by his collar for a well-awaited kiss. They pulled back to catch their breaths before Junhui scrunched his nose.
“Asshole, we almost missed the sunrise.”
“It takes fifteen minutes for that to happen,” Wonwoo smiled cheekily as he rested his arms back and laid his head on his hands. Junhui scooted closer to him and patted Wonwoo’s stomach before pouting.
“How’s your new diet?”
“Fucking sucks,” Wonwoo sighs. “But I’m adjusting, I guess. It doesn’t hurt as much.”
“Is the medicine helping.”
“Yeah, but I don’t think the smoking is.”
They both snickered as Junhui reached and squeezed Wonwoo’s hand. “We can quit together. It’s not like it’s impossible.”
“Nothing is impossible with you, huh, Jun?” Junhui just smiled and shrugged as he pulled Wonwoo’s head to rest on his shoulder as they looked back to the horizon, enjoying the view. Usually by this time, Wonwoo would ask questions like how far does the horizon stretch, to which Junhui would probably reply with a smartass answer that would cause Wonwoo to push him off the trunk but cause them both to laugh.
But it was different this time. They both kept their mouths shut and just held one another, enjoying each other’s company. Junhui sat up and stretched his arms before looking back at Wonwoo. “It’s almost five in the morning. We should head back.”
“Or… we can do other things,” Wonwoo hummed as he jumped off the trunk and looked at a confused Junhui before he grabbed his hand eagerly and pulled Junhui down to the concrete. “You still owe me that promise.”
Junhui’s eyes widened a bit before he coughed. “Uh… out here? In the open?”
“In the car, stupid!” Wonwoo snickered as he pulled Junhui towards the passenger seat. “I bottomed last time though, so you sit in the seat this time.” Junhui blinked before smiling and agreeing to the plan.”
“Alright. But only because I love you.”
--
Junhui pulled into the abandoned parking lot, his car slightly tilted to one side because of how rocky the terrain had become. Soonyoung was gripping to his seat as Junhui snickered and parked in the usual spot his car tires were familiar with. He shut off the engine and unlocked his door after he pulled his seatbelt off and stepped out. Soonyoung mimicked his actions as they both leaned against the hood of the car, overlooking the beach that was now filled with waste products and a steady and easy pace of waves.
Soonyoung sighed sadly. “Not like how it used to be, huh?” He looked to see Junhui nodding silently as he handed Soonyoung the other cola bottle.
“I’m not gonna drink it. That smoke made me not want cola anymore.” Soonyoung pouted but took the bottle and opened it, the hissing sound as the bubbles began to fizz upward to the neck interrupted their silence. Junhui looked to the horizon, dark and still filled with the night sky.
“You usually come out here at this time, right?” Junhui shot Soonyoung a glance as he was sipping on the cola. “At three in the morning? Doesn’t the sun usually come out by now?”
Junhui swallowed the lump in his throat. “Y-yeah… usually. Maybe it’s just the clouds today.” The moon was still visible and Junhui leaned back until his elbows rested against the chipped paint on his car.
“This is the time you talk to him, isn’t it?” Soonyoung asked. Junhui looked over at Soonyoung who sighed. “Junnie, I know you. You’re my best friend. I know you come out here and stare at the sky and just start talking to Wonwoo.” He side glanced at the silent, older one. “I’m surprised you brought me out here with you this time.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be, you know I’m here for you.” He watched as Junhui pulled out his wallet from his pocket and pulled out the gift card to reveal the polaroid once again. “You kept it?”
“I never planned on disposing of it.”
It took a while to process before Soonyoung blinked. “It’s the anniversary.” Junhui was silent as he stared at the polaroid, his head having a mind of its own and nodding slightly before returning back to its place. Soonyoung hesitantly put his hand on Junhui’s back before rubbing it. “Junnie, please don’t feel guilty.”
“How can I not?” Junhui sighed quietly. “He drove this car. The truck hit the driver’s seat. If I decided to drive that night, he’d still be here.”
Soonyoung shook his head. “We’re just as upset, but we’re happy you’re here with us, Junnie. It’d be devastating to lose you both. And they managed to fix this car good as new as well.” He saw how Junhui’s hands were shaking a bit as he held the photo in between his fingers. The younger one hugged his friend by his waist and laid his head on his shoulder. Junhui’s soft whimpers filled the atmosphere as the clouds kept blocking the sun from rising.
--
“I can’t believe you ruined my fucking ceiling with your scratches,” Junhui grunted as he was patting the fabric back to its place as it kept drooping on him. Wonwoo snickered as he adjusted his seat in front of the steering wheel before looking at the back window as he pulled out of the parking spot.
“Oh shut up, that was such a good session and you know it!” Wonwoo smiled when he saw Junhui blush and grumble to himself in agreement. They began driving back to Junhui’s place from the beach. It was Sunday, almost five in the morning. Wonwoo offered to drive since Junhui seemed more tired than usual.
Junhui was dozing off in the passenger seat but kept trying to fix his head to look upward towards the street to keep Wonwoo company. Wonwoo noticed.
“Hey, you can sleep, Jun. It’s fine, really. I’ll just play one of the CD’s I keep in the car.”
“No, I should stay up with you. You always do it for me.” Wonwoo braked at the red light and leaned over and kissed Junhui’s cheek. “Relax, I’ll be fine. Oh, did you listen to the new mixtape I gave you last week? There were a couple of songs that I know you’d like.” Junhui shook his head, a bit guilty but Wonwoo just smiled and patted Junhui’s cheek before reaching over in the glove compartment and pulling out the case as they waited for the light to turn green. He slid the CD into the player as the soft melody and slow beat slowly led Junhui off to sleep.
Wonwoo smiled at the sight and squeezed Junhui’s hand before pressing his foot on the gas pedal, immediately looking to his left as he heard the sound of a truck honking.
--
Soonyoung shook Junhui before he slapped his friend’s cheek to wake him up. Junhui jolted up, the seat belt locking and pulling his back to the seat. “Junnie, we’re here.”
Junhui looked up to see himself in front of Soonyoung’s place. “Whoa…”
“You crashed on my shoulder after crying so I decided to drive you home. You know, even though we’re basically the same height and weight, you’re one hell of a guy to pull into a passenger seat.”
Soonyoung smiled when he saw a Junhui shake his head while rolling his eyes amused. “Yeah yeah, okay Soonyoung.”
“Oh,” the younger one snapped his fingers before he slammed his fist over the glove compartment before it opened and a few CD cases spilt onto the floor over Junhui’s shoes. “I figured out how to open it,” Soonyoung grinned. “Listen to a few of the CDs. I think they’ll help calm you down.”
Junhui was quiet again before he nodded and began collected the CD’s and stacking them on his lap before he opened the car door. “Let’s listen to them in your place? I could really use a cup of coffee right now.” Soonyoung smiled, nodding at how great of an idea it was as they headed out and Soonyoung helped him carry the stack. Junhui locked his car, gazing at it one more time with a brief sigh before turning back and following Soonyoung into his house.
--
“You keep making me these CDs and I keep having to find more room for them,” Junhui commented as he watched in amusement at how Wonwoo was trying to close the glove compartment in front of him.
“It’ll fit! Trust me!”
“Yeah, the last time you said for me to trust you, we had to explain to the officers that we weren’t going to cause any damage on the beach.”
“Well, we weren’t!” Wonwoo pushed upward on the latch and smiled in satisfaction as the compartment finally locked. “Ah, you might have trouble opening that, but it shouldn’t be too difficult to handle.” He saw Junhui nod as he rubbed the sides of his steering wheel. “What?”
“Why’d you give me your worn out cover? Have you seen how much you pick at this shit?”
“Hey, at least you’ll think of me every time you grip the wheel now.” He smiled before patting Junhui’s leg. “Well, when you have enough money to buy yourself a new car, you can decorate it how you want it.”
Junhui looked over and nodded. “Yeah, you’re right. But I like this car.”
“This piece of junk? Weren’t you saying earlier how you hated this fucking piece of shit when we were at the beach?”
“Well… yeah…” Junhui coughed. “I still do, but it holds a lot of memories. A lot of our memories.”
Wonwoo smiled, a slight blush on his cheeks, before nudging Junhui. “Then I hope you never throw this hunk of junk away.”
