What Are My Parents Hiding From Me?

(yeast.)

[severelyspeedybird]

I don’t know how to use tumblr

I’m just lonely and need a place to have thoughts I think

[severelyspeedybird]

Elizabeth Bennet: When I first met you, I did not like you.

Mr. Darcy: I'm aware of that.

Elizabeth Bennet: But then you and I had some time together.

Mr. Darcy: Uh-huh.

Elizabeth Bennet: It did not get better.

[severelyspeedybird]

Elizabeth Bennet: You're a heartless jerk!

Mr. Darcy: Where did that come from?!

Mr. Darcy: Oh, right. My actions.

[starknesskenobi]

Me: pft love isn’t real it doesn’t exist

Also Me: Watches pride and prejudice 2005 ending and cries, Cries while reading Jane Eyre, Heart melts when Anne and Gilbert speak, reads every Jane Austen novel and imagines myself as the protagonist, Cries at the ending of the phantom of the opera chanting my angel of music why, Ends up day dreaming about me ending up with someone like Mr. Darcy, Gilbert Blythe, or  Henry Tilney, heart melts at the reading of shakespeare, ends up getting sad over bronte sister novels

Me: Yeah love is dumb -begins to sniffle- 

[jaynaneeya]

It’s been 200 years since Jane Austen died

Most sources attribute her death to tuberculosis or cancer, but I think we all know what really happened:

[louizsayn-deactivated20210630]

remarkable shit! 🖤 My kind of content.

source: unknown. 1 of my 2 friends sent me this pointing out that I’m such an Emily Dickinson. So, credits to the genius who made this.

[mysharona1987]

[halfagony-halfhope]

Mr. Collins: You [Elizabeth Bennet] should take it into farther consideration that in spite of your manifold attractions, it is by no means certain that another offer of marriage may ever be made you.

Me:

[moorsprite]

Your Literary Dinner Party Experience:

Wuthering Heights: The food is as unappealing as the host’s personality. You find yourself fleeing the estate and taking refuge in the surrounding moorlands before the second course is served.

Great Expectations: The host wears a mildewed wedding dress as she cuts what looks to be a thirty-year-old piece of vanilla cake. You sit quietly and try to fake a smile.

Northanger Abbey: You think your host is the type of person who might have murdered his wife and hid her body in a dusty old dresser. As you take a bite of the pot roast it doesn’t even occur to you that he might just be a dick.

Jane Eyre: The fare is far better than the stale bread and bitter tea provided at your boarding school, but that’s little comfort when the host’s wife keeps setting the table linens on fire.

Dracula: You know that you are sipping on a fine Cabernet, but what is he drinking?

Pride and Prejudice: Over dessert, one of your guests confesses that he has fallen in love with you in spite of your family’s terrible table manners. You stab your pudding with your spoon and tell him he’s the last man you could ever be prevailed upon to marry.

[magistraamor]

Big/Little love! sororitysugar

[scrapyardsaint]

And pasted together.

[micdotcom]

Feminist vandals are giving this beach body ad the upgrade it deserves 

Commuters on the London Underground this month were treated to a series of advertisements for U.K. dietary supplement manufacturer Protein World, featuring their “weight loss collection” alongside an ultra-thin woman with the caption: “Are you beach body ready?" The U.K.’s feminist community was less than receptive to this obvious shaming tactic — and made their voices heard. There are plenty more where the above came from.

[severelyspeedybird]

What she says: I'm fine

What she means: how did the girls from that show h2o possibly live their lives? They were three teen girls living in Australia and any time they so much as touched one drop of water they transformed into mermaids. How did they go to the bathroom? Did they never wash their hands afterward or did they suffer through being mermaids while at any point trying to take care of their personal hygiene? What if they had to pee at school? Imagine the germs. Does sweat also trigger their transformations? They live in Australia it's impossible that they could avoid sweating for their whole lives. Honestly the idea of turning into a mermaid seems awesome but changing every time they touch water is so ridiculously impractical like I know some of these scenarios are addressed in the show and at times even large plot points but I feel like the writers of the show chose to ignore some situations merely for the convenience of the show and I think about that often

[gothicprep]

i wonder if my pets have like a proper language and when i try to speak back to them im just speaking jargon

like for example my cat always speaks to me when I come home and i meow back to her and she’ll meow again & even though i don’t think twice about it to her it’s probably a situation where it’s like

her, meowing: “im glad you’re home”

me, meowing back: “tax benefits”

her, meowing: “why do u always do this”

[yoursummerdreamz]

[severelyspeedybird]

Intro is the Introduction of Introduction

[severelyspeedybird]

I love all of these