DC-GOTHAM-INSTINCTS

[dc-gotham-instincts-wild]

Guys if I ever end up Pinterest or Insta or Tiktok or YT shorts or something like that then pls alert me and send me the link

[dc-gotham-instincts-wild]

Headcanon that in any AU where the Batfam waited before making contact with the JL, Flash went to Gotham bc of the rumors.

Except........ Well, Oracle was at her computer obvs, Batman was back in the Batcave doing his own stuff.

Nightwing, Red Hood, Black Bat, Red Robin, Spoiler, Signal, and Robin were all chilling on the rooftops. They weren't even trying to hide. They were just fooling around and stuff. Hanging out and chilling. Red Hood and Black Bat were tossing an old crushed can back and forth. Spoiler, RR, and Signal were playing a game of tag under Nightwing's watch. Robin was perched on the closest streetlight, watching the street. And yet. Flash never heard or saw them. Spoiler even threw a different crushed-up can at his head. He looked up and didn't see Black Bat and Robin looking down (they blended in too well). He eventually decided it must have been a civilian from their window or something. The Batkids weren't even trying to be quiet; they made some noise.

Yet Flash never detected them and left, dumbfounded.

[stillnotsquashed]

Tim: Hey, Dick, what's my surname?

Dick: Drake?

Tim: No, I mean as Robin. I have to fill out these forms for a new hero team but it won't let me submit it without a surname and they don’t know who I really am yet so...

Dick: Oh, it's Knight. That's actually Bruce sanctioned.

Tim: He agreed to it?

Dick: Not exactly. He had to full name me in the field once in front of Lex Luthor and said 'Robin the Boy Wonder Knight, if you do not get down from there this instant...'

Tim: Does he use it?

Dick: I think so. After I started using it. He's sentimental like that.

Tim: And it has nothing to do withthe fact that it means he can write alias: Batman, forename: The Dark?

[robs-your-robins]

The Bats have this running joke of convincing people that Tim is a cryptid taken in by the family. In a family of arguably strange people, the rest of them decided that it would be hilarious if they started rumours that Tim is some kind of creature. Jason and Steph whispering frantically amongst themselves that Tim got out again and scramble to leave a function that leaves other heroes like 'what the hell?' Damian is ordering a lot of raw meat over the phone (it's for Goliath, Titus and Ace and the hyena he's petsitting for Harley) and the Teen Titans ask how come because he is a vegetarian, is he feeding the meat to the bats in the Cave and Damian just looks a little disturbed and goes, 'No, it's for... Tim.' Cass excusing herself from a gathering at the Manor where Tim is absent, lugging bucket of fish to somewhere in the house. And not to mention the eerie voice notes that is mostly growling and snarling and garbled incantations that Dick quickly pauses when somebody wanders into earshot. And the strange leaked footage filmed by Duke of a vaguely contorted silhouette of Tim, hunched on a rooftop, the eyes of his domino mask just catching the light just so before he scrambles to attack the camera.

[dc-gotham-instincts-wild]

Another chaotic AU idea......

Ok so, Jason and Damian knew each other in the LoA and all. Maybe Jason diverted some ab*se attempts if we wanna go dark.

Jason kinda wants to wait his 'revenge' out..... while simultaneously, he can't help but remember Bruce telling that 'The League of Assassins will hold out a hand, but they have a knife hidden in the other'.

He does try to look into Batman/Bruce's public behaviour after his death. He sees things that do contradict what Talia has told him.

Then Damian gets sent over and all.

He secretly contacts Jason a week later, like "I do not think you were immediately replaced, as apparently Richard is telling me that Timothy 'showed up and refused to leave' and wouldn't allow Father to break his rule of not taking a life. And also apparently according to Richard Timothy has been left alone at home for most of his childhood?"

Jason: Jason: tALIA-

[foeofcolor]

Only day you can rb this

[foeofcolor]

This post is like a fucking rosetta stone I've had the same theme song tagged in at least 6 languages so far

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 70 (masterpost here)

Jason: hold on, it's on my phone, let me pull it up.

Tim, audibly delighted: i can't believe you do this-!

Bruce: Robin, don't get distracted, i need you on my six.

Damian: *already distracted, somewhat forlorn* i wish you were an owl...

Bruce: that's not- *pause* what?

Damian: they don't need people on their sixes. they can turn their heads and just look.

*silence*

*distant crashing and gunshots*

Bruce: shit- focus, Robin!

Jason: i got it, it's still here.

Tim: please god read it out,

Bruce: *amidst grunting* you two aren't helping.

Jason, dismissively: then switch to a different line? everybody knows line seven is Red Hood's territory; go back to line one.

Dick: who needs to go back to line one?

Tim: ...Dick you've been here for thirty minutes, how are you not hearing us.

Dick: sorry- you know that thing where you disassociate and drive, and then you snap back to yourself as you pull up the driveway and you have that moment of 'how the fuck am i still alive?'? i think i did that with swinging.

Jason, grunting casually: oh yeah, i get that sometimes.

Dick, mystified: how the fuck did i get to Bristol...? sorry, anyway- what are we on?

Tim: Jason's grudge list.

Dick: Jason's what now?

Jason: i have a list on my phone of the worst things everybody has done to me, so i can keep track of how much revenge i need to get to 'win'.

Damian: ...win what?

Jason: shut up. aren't you fighting?

Damian: it's not that complicated a fight.

*distant gunshot*

Damian, casually, after a beat: Father?

*sounds of punching, hitting*

Bruce: yes?

Damian: how good of a mood would you say you're in?

Bruce: ...why?

Tim: i'm calling it now he got shot- you got shot, didn't you?

*silence*

Damian: tis' but a flesh wound-,

Bruce, resigned: oh my god- Robin.

Damian: you didn't watch my six.

Tim: *laughs*

Damian: it didn't even hit anywhere important,

Bruce: i don't care- just go to the batmobile and get the first aid kit, i'll be there after i finish getting the evidence i needed.

Damian: *groans*

Dick: are you guys done? because i wanna know what's on Jason's list for me.

Tim: yeah i'm- i'm also very invested in this. actually- is Damian on there?

Jason: uhhhh- yeah, by the bottom. i don't update this that much, to be fair.

Damian: what's written for me?

Jason: it just says 'looks too much like Bruce'.

Tim: *instant snickers*

Dick: wait wait- what's on there for Bruce then?

Jason: Bruce's- *laughs* ok, Bruce's has stayed the same since before i went to Ethiopia, and it's still the most evil thing he's ever done to me.

Bruce: *confused grunt*

Jason: according to the list, the meanest shit Bruce has ever done to me was when I was thirteen years old and he took me to an evening afterparty for this opera event, and i was bored as fuck with all the other rich-people kids and i wanted to go home, so to discreetly get B's attention, i texted him-,

Bruce: oh- *snort* ok i remember this.

Dick: what happened?

Jason, indignant: i texted him asking if we could go home, and this piece of shit proceeds to look at the text in the middle of this circle of people he's talking to, read the text from me OUT LOUD TO THEM, and then he looked at me across the room and yelled out 'what's wrong, chum? who don't you like, why do you wanna leave so early?'

Tim: *long noise of sympathy*

Dick: *cackling* THAT'S SO BAD????

Bruce: *another snort*

Jason: shut up Bruce. -and you wonder why we hated you; honestly.

Bruce: you were- *struggling to tamp down his amusement* you were being a handful, and that was the quickest way i could think of to make you want to be quiet.

Dick: *more cackles*

Jason: worst moment of my life to date, and i've literally been murdered.

Bruce, slightly amused: oh come now, chum, that's dramamtic.

Jason: IT'S NOT THOUGH??? IT'S PUBLIC HUMILIATION!

Tim: *wheeze*

Damian: *hiss of pain* oh- woooaaahhhhhh,

Dick, still snickering: -uh, Dami?

Damian: hm? oh, sorry, no, carry on, don't mind me- *under his breath* huh, that's cool.

Bruce, slightly concerned: Robin, where are you? i thought i told you to wait in the car.

Damian: i am in the car.

Bruce: then what are you doing?

Damian: taking out the bullet i got shot with.

Tim: ...the hell is 'cool' about that?

Damian: there's a second one already in there that i didn't know about.

*a beat*

Dick, baffled: what?

Bruce, stern: Robin what's your status, are you ok?

Jason: when the fuck did you even last get shot?

Damian: i dunno, that's why it's cool. i guess i forgot about it?

Tim: dude- what the fuck even is your life.

Damian: yeah i don't- oh, i think the second one was blocking a vein- shit, there's blood on the seats,

Dick: oh my god BRUCE GO TO YOUR KID-

Bruce: I'M GOING-

Tim, mumbling: like father like son,

Jason, instantly: -shut it or i put you on the list.

[papayafromtv]

big BIG fan of hardened hero/vigilante types having regular but non-negotiable fears. especially when those hardened hero/vigilante types are the batfamily. because as much as those guys are seen as cryptids and unbeatable legends that somehow manage to beat every meta around them without breaking a sweat, they are just. a group of guys. and i think that’s very fucking funny and people should be reminded of that more often.

-

*the JLA holding a super important strategy meeting in the batcave*

Batman: -the main priority is to ensure the safety of the surrounding area even in the case of a fight, so we’ll have people stationed around the perimeter just in case. Hood, can you grab me the signal flares from the store room? you’re closest.

Red Hood, walking over: *grunts*

Batman: *continues to explain his plan as in the background Jason walks into the store room, pauses, and then promptly walks right back out*

Red Hood: *sweetly, from the doorway* Robin?

Robin: mm?

Red Hood: would you like to go into the store room for me? my darling, favourite brother-mine?

Robin:

Robin, eyes half-lidded: is there a spider in there?

Red Hood: maybe.

Robin, sighing in exasperation as he starts walking over: you really need to start trying to deal with these yourself, Hood. you can’t call me every time-

The Flash, watching Damian emerge with a small spider in the palm of his hand while Jason refuses to come out of the corner of the cave: doesn’t that guy chop peoples heads off sometimes…?

-

*Aquaman, on a mission with Nightwing and Batman, on a platform in the middle of the ocean*

Aquaman: if you have your rebreathers then you can follow me down, it’s not too deep a dive to the site.

Nightwing: *staring into the water* mhm.

Batman: *watching Nightwing in amusement*

Aquaman: …Nightwing, are you ok?

Nightwing, still staring: oh- hm? yep. yep, i’m good. i’m- yeah. lets go. lets do this.

Aquaman:

Batman: he has thalassophobia. he doesn’t like deep, empty waters.

Aquaman:

Nightwing: *staring down*

Batman: *faux shoves Dick forward, as if to push him in*

Nightwing, shrieking and jumping back: bRUCE- I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT-

-

Superman: the victim’s in that room, if you need to examine the body.

Red Robin: got it, thanks.

Red Hood: so what actually happened to the guy?

Superman, as Tim leaves: well, it seems like the virus infects the mind and causes intense delusions. we think he was driven crazy and ended his own life. it’s… not pretty in there. he stabbed himself in the eye with a pencil.

Red Hood: *whistles* *pauses* wait. in the eye?

Superman: yeah. why?

Red Hood:

Red Robin: *slams out of the other room, falls to his knees vomiting*

Superman:

Red Hood, watching Tim calmly: yeah he’s got this thing about things in peoples eyes?

Superman:

Superman: really?

-

Green Arrow: shit, that’s a nasty scratch you got there, Bats. right across the eye, too.

Batman: *grunt*

Green Arrow: who’d you fight to get it?

Batman: Robin.

Green Arrow:

Green Arrow: Damian did that?

Batman: hn.

Green Arrow: …why?

Batman: he had a cavity and i had to take him to the dentist.

Green Arrow:

Batman: he’s scared of the dentist.

Green Arrow: wasn’t he raised by the league of assassins?

Batman: he’s scared of the dentist.

Green Arrow:

[papayafromtv]

damian heard about bruce’s fear of bats ending in him deciding to become batman, went to the dentist once, and instantly decided he needed to go to medical school.

[dc-gotham-instincts-wild]

I slip into the MCYT fandom and now there's someone here on the Batfam incorrect quotes tags named Maps? help????

[teaboot]

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

[teaboot]

(Average Metropolis reader after investigative reporter C. Kent's 452nd article on yet another case of landlords/business owners/factories' continued use of lead pipes/paint/gas/glass knowingly exposing the public to dangerously toxic lead levels) what the fuck happened to this guy

[teaboot]

One day Bruce Wayne mentions in an interview that heroes like Superman are overrated, as the most effective way to reduce crime is to provide public resources and improve local infrastructure, then cites how neighboring city Metropolis has effectively lowered their violent crime by 13% after addressing their outdated water system and investing low income housing. the reporter conducting the interview suddenly starts looking a little uncomfortable

[teaboot]

To be clear, Clark is still a fantastic investigative reporter. He still has to track down the sources to prove all this shit

[teaboot]

"Who, Clark Kent? Yeah, we're pretty sure he's a Meta. Is he a superhero? Like what, "Lead-detector guy"? "Captain pipes?" Don't get me wrong, he's a great guy and it's a handy trick, but it's lead detection, not laser vision. He's not about to go running around in tights any time soon."

[sindri42]

I just love the idea of a cape maintaining their secret identity by pretending to be a completely different and less impressive kind of parahuman.

[roach-works]

everyone assumes that kent is so squirrely around superheros because he’s just desperately hoping not to be conscripted to the JLA to fix their plumbing

[teaboot]

Local Metropolis Reporter Publically Recognized For Contributions To The City; Awarded Medal Of Distinction

[championofdnd]

They tried to get superman to present the medal but he was offended at being called "overrated" in comparison to Clark so he declined

[teaboot]

Counter offer: Bruce Wayne disguised as Superman

[teaboot]

beating this dead horse with memes

[hatties-self-hate-journey]

How posting to my blog feels like:

[dc-gotham-instincts-wild]

Dick walking into his apartment: Jason: *on the couch eating chips, watching Minecraft videos on the TV YouTube* Cass: *curled up on a beanbag* Steph: *watching with Jason but she's eating a pop tart* Damian: *eating apple slices and watching with Steph and Jason* Tim: *sitting on the counter with his laptop* Duke: *half doing his homework and half watching the TV as well* Dick: *not surprised in the slightest* I'll tell Dad you're all here.

Jason without looking away from the Minecraft video: Bold you to assume he doesn't already know.

Babs over comms: Yeah Dick, I told him ages ago!

[stay-chill-vibes]

REBLOG IF YOU ARE HELLA BORED AND WOULDN’T MIND SOME CURIOUS ANONS.

[da-police-offical]

👍

[dc-gotham-instincts-wild]

Batman later gets over his fear of bats and many of the animal bat residents of the cave are half tame.

[rrran-dom-stufffs]

Random Recipie/Health Post.

So you guys know turmeric?

This stuff.

You can also get it as power.

So uh, i'm not sure if this is common knowledge or not, but I thought I'd share it anyway. I come from a Pakistani family and so my mom always know a bunch of herbal alternatives(?) to medicine. Halthi (Urdu word for turmeric) is probably my favorite and has been there since I was little. It's a big comfort to me even.

So basically, it's really good for bad throats, colds, and flus, that stuff. I think it'd help with any sickness lol, even just emotionally.

What you do is grab some of it, amount depending on how much you're making, and peel it. You don't have to use a peeler, even a spoon will do. Warning, your hands will stain from this for a while; it leaves yellow on everything. Your hands will have yellow marks on them. But it'll go away after a while.

Then you cut it into a few circular slices like a cucumber.

Once that is done, you dump it into the saucepan or pot of milk and mix it in, and heat it up. The milk will turn yellow. But once it's done (usually it's done when the milk is clearly and fully yellow) it doesn't even taste bad! it's even better if you mix some honey into it.

You can also do this with water, though then it's might be better for your tastebuds to add some other stuff to the tea. My mother personally adds cinnamon and occasionally some ginger as well.

Just thought I'd share this!

[dc-gotham-instincts-wild]

Jason is the embodiment of "No one can bully my sibling but me."

Change my mind.

[totally-india]

A reminder to all the kids on the internet that creeps aren't going to announce themselves to you. They won't feel bad if you call them a creep in your dni list nor are they even going to abide by your dni list

Do. Not. Post. Your. Pictures

[dc-gotham-instincts-wild]

PREACH PREACH PREACH