je suis vivant

http://koolkidsakademy.onuniverse.com

[juliamstarr]

Instagram

[demilypyro]

freud: wanting to fuck your mom is normal

freud’s mom: :/

[hellsite-yano]

freud: wanting to kill your dad is normal

freud’s dad:

[theothersideofthechair]

Man: Hi can I get a haircut?

Me: You can but you’re going to have to wait for half an hour.

Man: Oh no its okay I’ll just take whoever’s available.

Me: No one is available right now. It’s going to be a half hour wait.

Man: Oh its okay just give me whoever can take me right now.

Me: There. Is. No. One. Available. To. Give. You. A. Hair. Cut. Right. Now.

Man: what do you mean?

Me rapidly losing patience: I have a colour and my coworker has a Perm. We are both busy and there is no one else in the salon. So if you’d like to take a seat we can fit you in in 30 minutes.

Man: Oh….. Well I don’t want to wait.

Me: Then I suggest you make an appointment and come back and you won’t have to wait.

Man: So there’s no one available right now?

Me:

[defydamage]

This is so much fucking funnier with the gif removed

[irlcute]

*gets shot in the leg* “are you ok?” “i’m fine just tired haha”

[thebootydiaries]

don’t kill urself babygirl

[thepinkestpug]

Complimenting an artistic friend’s work

[vanwizard]

me as a detective walking up to look at a dead body: ok first of all, big mood,

[laguerradelasgalaxias]

-I think we’ll go with a little Bohemian Rhapsody, gentlemen. -Good call!

Wayne’s World (1992)

[lolmemez]

Made all the wrong decisions 

[cinematapestry]

“I don’t think this is what I’m supposed to feel like.”

-Beginners (2010) dir. Mike Mills

[goblinlord-deactivated20160826]

i found this lizard in my kitchen licking a marshmallow

[unclefather]

Do you know him?

[miyku]

me after 3 hours sleep 

mother : are you all right? me :  

[halab1-deactivated20220711]

[cicadachild-deactivated20191130]

sex is intimate and sacred. your body is a temple, and you shouldn’t share it with anyone who believes pitbulls are a naturally aggressive or dangerous breed.

[may]

when you’re trying to confirm time sensitive plans with a friend and they’re not answering

[34511975-deactivated20160912]

[thecomplaintionist]

Mingus Reedus

[matchboxvingt-deactivated202310]

[mooglemain]

[matchboxvingt-deactivated202310]

The holy trinity

[nemanja-bogdanov]