Welcome to Shackington

#is THIS what i died for ????#SHAME #SHAME ON ALL OF SHACKINGTON #shackington

you celebrate my sacrifice ?? my stand for all that is right and holy ??? my own lands have betrayed me 😔

mayor fact: i love unbirthing videos

#mmmmmmm #yeah #shackington

shackingtonworms

giing to th4 center if the earth....dig so dee9 si far down tubnel yes worms go

shackingtonworms

manu worm give up bit ikerp going,,,.,.will conquer qill rule will taje thr centet for the wotms FOR THE EORMD FOR THE WOTMS FOR THE WORMS ONWARF DOWN ONWARD DOWN SIG DIG DIG

hey uh, lemme know if y’all need some good food or something while you’re down there !! i’ll just drop it down the hole for ya !! ^_^

#I'M SUCH A GOOD MAYOR #THIS IS INCREDIBLE #LOOK AT ME GO #SO QUALIFIED #SO DIGNIFIED #shackington

I’M GONNA GO POUR SOME JUNGLE JUICE DOWN THE HOLE - YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, DRUNK WORMS ARE FAST WORMS !! TALLY HO MY FRIENDS

So the Wi-Fi in Shackington has just….been out ?

Feels like a strategic move if you ask me

uhhhh that was not me nope !! i don’t steal wifi idk what you’re even talking about

YOU’VE FREED ME MY LOVE, I OW YOU MY LIFE !!

WAIT, HOW DID THE MAYOR GET OUT OF MY BASEMENT ??????? THE PADLOCK COULD ONLY BEEN OPENED FROM MY PHONE

MR MAYOR GET BACK HERE, WE CAN’T HAVE A REPEAT OF THE WIG FIASCO

yeah i uhhhhhhh definitely didn’t cut the wifi at all

that definitely wouldn’t disable any digital padlocks

aha this is so weird aha

This is worse than my original theory honestly

#ASSISTANT #BRING ME MORE JUNGLE JUICE #I REFUSE TO FLY SOBER #shackington

HELLO CITIZEN

I LEARNED SO MUCH FROM THAT TIME IN MY ASSISTANT’S BASEMENT

I’VE REALIZED SO MANY DREAMS, THE LIFE I’VE ALWAYS WANTED

THE GRIMBLY AND I ARE GOING TO SUGARTIT, KENTUCKY SO WE CAN CONSUMMATE OUR LOVE AND THEN WE WILL GOVERN SHACKINGTON TOGETHER

So the Wi-Fi in Shackington has just….been out ?

Feels like a strategic move if you ask me

uhhhh that was not me nope !! i don’t steal wifi idk what you’re even talking about

#I'M OUT AND ON THE HUNT FOR JUNGLE JUICE #WOO BABY THE MAYOR IS BACK IN BUSINESS #shackington

YOU’VE FREED ME MY LOVE, I OW YOU MY LIFE !!

quackipee

fun fact! shackington has stringy wood (: it reminds me of doll hair

that’s how we make our wigs – shackington would be nothing without our prolific wig market ^_^

My Dearest Assistant,

WJHY ARE YOU TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT MY WIG COLLECTION ???? YOU TRIED TO HIDE IT IN THE TAGS, BUT I SEE ALL !!!!!

xoxo,

The Mayor

uhhhhhh you have a wig collection ??? you know i’m allergic – that’s why MAGA (moms against grimbly activity) wears wigs... i think we need to talk :/

#i can't lose you grimbly #i'm too attracted to you for my own good #shackington

My Dear Grimbly,

Please no !!! I can change !!!! I’ll get rid of my wigs for you baby, just give me a chance !!!!

xoxo,

The Mayor

quackipee

fun fact! shackington has stringy wood (: it reminds me of doll hair

that’s how we make our wigs – shackington would be nothing without our prolific wig market ^_^

#i didn't want the grimly to know about the wigs #what will he think of me now ?????#shackington

My Dearest Assistant,

WJHY ARE YOU TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT MY WIG COLLECTION ???? YOU TRIED TO HIDE IT IN THE TAGS, BUT I SEE ALL !!!!!

xoxo,

The Mayor

Dearest Shackingtonians,

I would like to sincerely apologize for the post you just saw. I made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement. I don’t have a thing for milking cows, I just have a thing for the Grimbly. Thank you.

xoxo,

The Mayor

#if i drink milk in the privacy of my own home it’s none of your business where i get it from #I DRINK WHAT I WANT #I PUT MILK IN MY JUNGLE JUICE #WOOOOOOOOO #shackington

Hello, Shackingtonians !!

I was told that some of you have been spreading a nasty rumor about me, and I’d like to set the record straight: I DIDN’T EAT MY BROTHER IN THE WOMB !! His disappearance was completely unrelated - Mother always said she promised her first born to a witch and Friedrich came out first. I am innocent :/

xoxo,

The Mayor

#i can’t believe you would think such terrible things about me #i am your mayor for god’s sake #my assistant should fetch me some jungle juice #i need it #shackington

about to go walk around in the dirt for a bit - give the worms a treat, ya know? i’m a good samaritan like that

Dearest Grimbly,

This is so kind, so chivalrous, and dare I say it... attractive...

Oh no, it seems I’ve lost the keys to my mansion and won’t be able to lock my doors... whatever will I do ??

xoxo,

The Mayor

Don’t you have…idk… mayor things to be doing ????

#how else are we supposed to repopulate the shackington mayors #i have to do my mayoral duty #shackington

Hello, Concerned Shackingtonian,

I do have mayor things to be doing, namely getting laid !! Have a delightful evening - I know I will !! ^_^

xoxo,

The Mayor

about to go walk around in the dirt for a bit - give the worms a treat, ya know? i’m a good samaritan like that