I feel like I'm doing a shit job at work. My work's expectation of me is so high but I'm soo scared that I'm not measuring up to their standards. All the jobs that I've gotten in the last year and up to this day has been extremely difficult in comparison to my level of experience and what my colleagues (who are in the same level as me) are getting. I'm anxious to go to work almost everyday. I hate talking to clients because I honestly fear that I'm not giving them the right answer/advice. The confidence level I have for myself and in my abilities to do my job have slowly depleted - and I was not a bad student at Uni! I maintained solid As in majority of my subjects, but when faced with stress I shut down. My whole thought process would get disrupted and my head would just be floating in space. It would take me time to recover from my absent mind. The only friend I have at work has left her job last month and I honestly feel so alone. She was the only person who I could confidently ask questions without feeling judged or dismissed. She was my biggest help while I worked my way through first year at work, but now that she's gone, I'm just lost. This year will surely be very difficult. I don't know how I'm going to cope. I'll probably cry and sulk in the corner of my room, but I'll try my best to be positive and look back at the small steps I've made, and hopefully with that, see a small silver lining from all the stress I've experienced (and hopefully feel better). I only have myself from now on and I sincerely hope that by the end of this year I can look back at this post and say "I did well and I didn't have to be so scared after all".
