there’s a t-shirt that says “I survived a bad day and all I got was the rest of my life” and yeah I still think about it

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@shadowofaseraph
there’s a t-shirt that says “I survived a bad day and all I got was the rest of my life” and yeah I still think about it
I was at a horse race yesterday when some kid lost his balloon…
ascend
bye bye lil sebastian
Oldest human footprint discovered, made 153,000 years ago in South Africa.
Oldest human footprint in North America, made 21,000 years ago in New Mexico, USA.
Oldest human footprint on the Moon, made July 20, 1969 on the Sea of Tranquility, Earth's moon.
“Do Dead Malls Go to Heaven?” Process video :)
IS MOON DAY!!! MOOOOON DAY!!!! THE DAY OF MOOOOON! HAPPY MOON DAY 🌝 (we landed on the moon today in 1969)
i like how all cats regardless of species can either look rlly badass and cool or just incredibly silly stupid
my proof
me in my brain me in my selfies
It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good
Highlights include:
For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.
Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.
Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.
I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.
I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.
Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.
Actually I've decided this is a poem
now that the world cup is out of the way can we focus on me instead
oh this phrase is not going to leave my mind for a solid week at least. obsessed with this collection of words
le doohickie in question btw:
Sometimes your bad coworker will be like "I can't do anything right & I ruin everything I touch :(" and you can't even comfort them because like damn. Yeah. You really can't do anything right and you do ruin everything you touch☝️
HE'S GETTING FIRED. NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!
Witch 1: When shall we three meet again?
Witch 2: When the hurdy-gurdy's done
Witch 3: *absolutely shredding*
"oh you're just being nice" JUST? do you have any idea how much work goes into this shit? JUST being nice? girl i am doing some supercomputer shit upstairs to construct this niceness. they installed laplace's demon in my brain to trace out the last hour of interaction and calculate the optimal thing to say to make you feel better. and i still somehow beefed it? JUST being nice? yeah and bach was "just writing songs" jesus fucking christ. people askin for cordiality like it's no big deal
Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable
Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.
ive talked about "childhood friends gone wrong" on here before right
there's probably already a name for this but it's a trope i coined for a very specific type of dynamic that im consistently obsessed with. give me two people who grew up together and played together and were each other's best friend and then Something Happened and now everything's fucked up but they're still friends. or they want to be at least. you look so different now and everything is so much more complicated now than when we played in your backyard but literally who else knows me better than you. who else could i ever call my best friend
Suddenly struck with a need to explain to you how boat pronouns work (I work in the marine industry).
When you're talking about the design of the boat, you say "it".
When the boat is still being built, your say "it".
When the boat is nearing completion, you can say "it" or "she".
When the boat is floating in the water you probably say "she", unless there is still a lot of work to be done (e.g. no engine yet) then you say "it".
When the boat is officially launched and operating, you say "she". If you continue to say "it" at this point you are not incorrect but suspiciously untraditional. You are not playing the game.
If you are referring to a boat you don't really know anything about you may say "it" ("there's a big boat, it's coming this way"). But if you know its name, it's probably "she" ("there's the Waverley, she's on her way to Greenock").
If you are talking about boats in general, you say "it" ("when a boat is hit by a wave it heels over")
If you speak about a boat in complimentary terms, it's "she" ("she's a grand boat"). If you are being disparaging it may be it, but not necessarily ("it's as ugly as sin", "she's a grotty old tub").
If she has a boy's name, she's still she. "Boy James", "King Edward", "Sir David Attenborough"? The pronoun is she.
If it's a dumb barge (no engine), you say it. But if it's a rowing boat (no engine), you say she.
I hope this has cleared things up so that you may not be in danger of misgendering floating objects.
Hit "view post" and lost it