( ░ &. ⁞ ' LET THERE BE LIGHT IN ME. ' ! @shamelcss - Tumblr Blog

forever. ❤️

The worst part about Liam Payne dying is that people are posting about “the switch up is crazy”

Like no. He was an abuser and made horrible decisions, but nobody wanted him to die. He was getting hate for an INCREDIBLY valid reason, but we all recognized that he needed mental and physical help. He needed to go to rehab. He needed to get away from drugs and alcohol and improve upon himself away from the public. No one wanted him to die.

We’re not mourning the life of an abuser, we are mourning the part of him that we adored and looked up to for a massive part of our childhood/ teenage years. He was a huge part of how I was introduced to my love of music. And yes, he did horrible things and made horrible decisions and over the last few years has been anything but admirable, but none of us wanted this.

Maya didn’t want this. And everyone saying that it’s her fault can actually go burn in hell. She likely already blames herself enough. She likely already wishes she hadn’t spoken up about it out of the guilt that she likely feels. You guys commenting all over the socials about how this is her fault and “are you happy now?” Are actually horrible people.

A 7 year old boy just lost his father. A woman just lost her long term boyfriend. Two parents just lost their son. Several young children just lost their uncle. Show some fucking respect. Joking about it and hating on people who had nothing to do with what happened is not doing anything but twist the knife for the people who this has ACTUALLY effected.

didhewinkback

one direction will always be so so so bittersweet to me like they were such a foundation of my teenage years while at the same time those boys were spending most of their days trapped in hotel rooms or waking up at 2 am to record an album and non stop touring and working so much more than anyone let alone a bunch of teenage boys should work and its always been hard to reconcile those two realities especially on a day like today because god when they were good together, they were so good together.

and i just don't think anything like them will ever happen again. 5 boys from basically working class backgrounds thrust into a level of fame the height of which hadn't been seen for decades, all of them becoming the breadwinners of their families before the age of 18. the immense pressure but also the amount of fun they were. the tragedy and joy of it all intertwined. really impossible to put into words

#god this exactly #honestly so much of the magic of 1d was lost when i grew up and they all started sharing their experiences #but also just looking at the reality of it myself and seeing how wrong so much was #really absolutely heartbreaking #and yet at the same time they created something so beautiful together and there were a lot of genuine joyfilled moments

leodette

When it suddenly crashes on you that it is real and not just a nightmare, and the dam of tears breaks 💔

zaynjmsource

zayn: Love You Bro ❤️

#this really broke me to be honest

the last few days have been difficult, and i've been sitting with so many thoughts and much sadness that i'm struggling to navigate. unsure of where to place and express my grief. then this blog popped into my head. while it doesn't look like it anymore bc it evolved over the years and grew with me, once upon a time this was filled with 1d posts. this was one of my main outlets and connection points to a band and community i held so dearly and brought me to lifelong friends. that will never stop meaning something to me. if you were to look back at my blog during that time, too, you'd see that liam was my favorite. liam was everything... i mean, everything. i absolutely adored that man and he truly helped me navigate awful times in my life. i mean, they all did, but i could always relate to liam and zayn the most, particularly regarding struggles with bullying and mental health. last night i found an old post of mine on my stan twitter from 2014 stating "my entire existence is based on the single fact that liam payne is an actual living and breathing human being" which perfectly sums up how much i adored him (while also breaking my heart in equal measure). in recent years, i have not supported liam at all. i think that sentiment is fairly common. as a victim of predatory adults online and abuse, it was incredibly disheartening to hear the things that have come to light over time. someone who had once helped me through the darkest times of my life was guilty of things i had experienced personally. still, it saddens me to know how deeply he struggled with addiction and mental health, and i wish he could have gotten the help he needed. i wish he could have been held accountable for the hurt he caused and grown as a person. i wish he could have healed from all of his traumas. this whole situation is incredibly tragic and i can't quite wrap my head around it. i keep thinking of his son, and his family. his girlfriend. the boys. his ex and other victims. i hope they are able to continue to heal, and if they need to continue sharing their stories to do that, i hope everyone will have the compassion to allow them the space to do so without hate. it is okay to acknowledge that somebody may not have turned out to be the person you thought they'd be, and still grieve the person they used to be and who they were capable of becoming if things had been different. it is okay to sympathize with how somebody suffered, it doesn't mean you condone how they acted or treated others while they were suffering. things are not black and white and there is so much more nuance in life than people like to allow. my heart really goes out to everyone affected by liam's passing. everyone struggling with how to navigate their grief and how to feel - let yourself be sad, let yourself be angry, let yourself be nostalgic. feel everything you need to feel on behalf of your inner child and your current self. don't let anyone make you feel weird or bad for it. one direction meant so much to millions of us in our most formative years. this is one of the first big losses our generation has experienced of a star from our time.

anyways i didn't mean for this to get so long but it has helped me to process and flesh out my thoughts, so maybe it will help some of you to read. i wish we could all hug each other right now. i will always love this fandom, and i will always love the boyband of our time. they had fun, they were normal guys, and they were terrible terrible dancers. 🥹❤️

#liam payne #one direction #1d