🐰posted on tumblr by @shannyshotleafjuice. please do not repost or translate without permission.
✧
"This time...
I'm choosing."
✧
2020
The doorbell for your apartment rang, followed by a couple knocks. You wondered who could be visiting at this hour.
Staring at the small screen of your intercom, you spotted a man with short and slightly dishevelled brown hair, a blue windbreaker zipped up all the way, hands tightly grasping a small bouquet of flowers. The man shifted a bit nervously in the screen before your eyes blinked in recognition.
“…Tooru?”
He lifted his head up to find the source of your voice; the little camera attached to your doorbell.
He smiled, ever so casually, “I’m back.”
The silence in the air lingered for a bit, making him fidget again.
The door unlocked and slowly opened to show you, dressed leisurely in sleepwear, hair down and relaxed.
He froze, his eyes taking in your features. You looked exactly the same, but different at the same time. Something he couldn’t put his finger on.
“I’m glad you made it safely.”
“I got your address from Iwa-chan,” Tooru smiled again, like that might justify him showing up unannounced.
He slowly held out the small bouquet of three single-stalked gerberas, in your favourite colours.
The flowers were cute, but the cheap, clear plastic that wrapped around them was a dead giveaway for convenience-store bought flowers.
You studied him—and the flowers—half a second longer than comfortable.
Not cold, not soft.
Just… measured.
“You didn’t tell me you were coming back to Japan.” You said softly.
“Surprise.” He chuckled, but it faltered when you didn’t join in.
“I have an early meeting tomorrow.” You said calmly, honestly stating a fact and not an excuse.
“Oh…” was all he could say.
“I’m glad you’re doing well, Tooru.” You gave him a small smile and nod, “Take care.”
Seconds later, Tooru blinked in confusion as you retreated into your apartment and close the door gently in front of him. His hand still outstretched, crinkling the wrapper more as his grip tightened.
He heard the door lock click into place.
That click echoed louder in his head than any stadium crowd ever did in his entire career as a pro volleyball player.
Tooru reached out, wanting to press the doorbell once more, but stopped himself and clenched his hand into a fist.
Who was he to show up unannounced in your life at this time of the night.
The hallway light hummed softly, reminding him of the time—
and how much of it had passed.
~
Days went by.
You went to work as usual; the firm was always a tad overwhelming once you stepped through those doors.
Polite conversations over the phone, lengthy emails to read and respond to, binders and folders that contained stacks of paperwork formed small towers on desks overtime.
“Ah, Ms. Y/Last Name, you’re here!” Your assistant – Amanai Saaya – sighed in relief when she saw you. She rushed over with a clipboard and a binder.
“This is an outline of the prenup requested by the Fujita couple that approached us two days ago, can you please draft one up soon?” She said as she handed the binder over, “There is also a request for the finalisation of the adoption papers to be sent to the Sakurai couple by the end of today.”
You accepted the binder with a nod, “I’ll get to it, thanks, Saaya.”
Stepping into your office, walking past the door proudly labelled with your name and credentials as a family lawyer, you set the binder on your semi-messy desk and turned on your computer.
After a few hours of back-to-back emails and documents, Saaya knocked on your door.
You typed up a few more words before looking up to meet her gaze.
“Ms. Y/Last Name, there is someone here to see you.” She announced.
“Is this an appointment?” You asked.
She shook her head, “It’s a man. His name is Oikawa Tooru.”
You tilted your head in wonder.
First, your house.
Now, your office.
He must’ve asked Iwaizumi.
You stood up from your chair, combed your fingers through your hair and adjusted your blouse. You felt like you had to fix your appearance, but you didn’t know why.
Walking out of your office, you made your way to the waiting area of the firm.
Tooru was in a full suit, hair styled and this time, a beautiful rose bouquet in his hands.
“Tooru.” You said in greeting and nodded.
He turned around, slightly caught off guard but recomposed himself with a slightly casual smile, “Y/N.”
“I got these for you.” He said as he held out the bouquet.
The roses were fresh and deeply red, framed with dark green ferns and white baby’s breath. The wrapping this time was much more luxurious than the previous one; layers of tissue and plastic, all tied up with a white satin bow.
He held it out more confidently this time, his eyes searching yours, hoping you’d accept it this time.
You softened a bit and accepted the flowers, “Thank you, that’s very nice of you.”
From the corner of your eyes, you could see Saaya peeking out from the hallway, wanting to eavesdrop, curious about your relationship, but also gushing at Tooru’s romantic gesture. You couldn’t help but chuckle internally at her failed attempt to be discreet.
You cleared your throat, “So, what brings you here today?”
“I was hoping we could go out for dinner tonight. I’ve made reservations, so please say yes.” Tooru said with a slightly nervous chuckle, masking it with a grin.
You pondered for a bit before asking, “Whereabouts?”
“L’Effervescence. 7.30PM.”
Your eyebrow raised slightly in response. Tooru was pulling out all the stops, this was one of the fanciest French restaurants in Tokyo.
“I’ll pick you up.” He added, trying to sound more convincing.
“Pick me up at 6.30PM then.” You smiled softly and walked away, retreating into your office.
You swear you could hear Tooru’s feet shuffle excitedly after a beat, he was absolutely doing a happy dance.
In your office, you set the bouquet aside, leaning it on the sofa.
Saaya rushed in, looking at you expectantly. She didn’t have to ask, you already knew what’s on her mind.
“We used to go to school together.” You said as you sat back down at your chair.
“Is he why you’re not reciprocating Mr. Ikeda’s advances?” Saaya whispered.
Ikeda Aizawa, another lawyer in the firm. He has a huge crush on you, and he doesn’t hide it well either. Almost everyone in the firm knows about it. You’ve gently told him that you don’t see him romantically in order to not keep his hopes up, but it’s also not like he can just shut his feelings off like a switch.
You shook your head and shrugged, “I wasn’t just waiting around for someone who I didn’t know would or would not return. It’s just no one else caught my eye.”
Saaya’s eyes widened a smidge at your answer before nodding in understanding.
You chuckled, “I know you’re dying to ask more questions, but I have work to do. I will tell you one day, maybe.”
Saaya looked like you just stole the last chocolate bar. “But… Ms. Y/Last Name…”
Smiling, you waved your hand dismissively, “If you stay here, I’ll change my mind…”
She nodded and zoomed out of sight.
Placing your palm underneath your chin, you turned to look at the roses once more. A genuine smile spread across your lips.
~
The time spent with Tooru was short but meaningful.
He showed up again.
And again.
Not with grand gestures, but with persistence.
With time. With effort.
During a dinner one night, he gently grasped onto your hands and brought up his contract renewal with Argentina. He was genuinely torn, should he stay, or should he go? He wanted you to decide for him.
The weight of that decision felt unfair for you to bear alone, but he didn’t want to pressure you either. So, he gave you time to think about it, three days to be exact. Then, all he had to do was give them a call.
You spent the next couple of days deep in research, weighing out the pros and cons.
You wanted to be selfish—but not at the cost of the words you gave him eight years ago.
On the very last day, he came to your house with pizza that you have been craving for dinner. From the same store you loved back in high school— extra cheese, just the way you liked it.
Tooru passed by your bedroom as he set the pizza box on the coffee table. He did a double take when he noticed something somewhat familiar from the corner of his eye — something white, something minty green.
He couldn’t help but walk towards it. Slowly, he extended his fingers and grazed it tenderly, like it was something precious. It looked like it had been through the wash countless times. The fabric had softened, and the mint-green accents had faded slightly.
You came back from the kitchen and set down two glasses on the coffee table. The apartment had gone unusually quiet even though the pizza box was right in front of you.
Curious, you peeked into the bedroom.
You found Tooru standing behind your chair, the worn jersey in his hands as his fingers traced the number 1.
“You still have this?” Tooru asked as he looked up, a small, wistful smile tugged at his lips.
“Oh.” You glanced at the jersey. “I still wear it sometimes.”
Then, you waved your hand to usher him out, “Come on, the pizza is getting cold.”
He huffed a soft laugh and placed it back on your chair before following you back to the living room.
After eating a couple slices, Tooru softly asked, “So… Should I stay? Or should I re-sign my contract?”
You looked at him for a beat, holding onto that warm gooey slice of pizza in your hand.
“You should re-sign your contract.” You said calmly, nodding just once.
Just like before.
Tooru’s face faltered slightly, as if that was not the answer he wanted to hear.
He opened his mouth for a second, wanting to say something but held back.
“Are you going to ask if I’m sure about this decision?” You questioned his demeanour.
He grimaced slightly and nodded.
“I’m sure of it.” You took a bite of your pizza, buying yourself a moment.
“You left without asking me last time.”
You glanced at him.
“This time… I’m choosing.”
A small breath.
“I’ve applied for a transfer.”
Tooru furrowed his brows for a moment, staring at you like you just grew an extra head.
“Say that again…?”
“Vamos juntos a Argentina.” You beamed, maybe albeit smugly.
His eyes widened like saucers, “Tú hablas español?!”
You chuckled, “Todavía practicando.”
Tooru leapt out from his seat, staring at you in disbelief. His brain couldn’t process what just happened in the last couple minutes.
Laughing at his expression, you set the half-eaten pizza down and stood up to meet his eyes closely.
“Listen carefully; now, what you have to do is get your phone, call your coach and tell him that you’re re-signing your contract. Just make sure it’s not too early there though.”
He slowly nodded before his face broke into a wide grin. Being careful not to stain your face with pizza grease, he held your face with the back of his palms and gave you a deep kiss, as if saying thank you.
After pulling back, he quickly washed his hands and dialled his coach’s number without a second thought.
His coach picked up the phone, sounding excited through the call.
Tooru was smiling the whole time he told his coach that he would be re-signing his contract, but with one condition.
His girlfriend must live with him, non-negotiable.
His coach laughed loudly over the phone, “Por supuesto!”
~
A few years later…
“Mi amore…” Tooru whined as he wrangles an almost one-year old toddler trying to get off the changing table.
You were halfway through, typing a letter for a client until your husband calls for help.
Giggling softly, you went over to the baby’s room and leaned against the door frame.
“What’s wrong?”
“Haru keeps fighting me…” He huffed, still trying to pin down the little toddler to change their diaper.
You laughed and went over to help distract your son while he changed the diaper.
“Phew, life saver!” He smiled as he pulled up the diaper snugly and blew a raspberry on Haru’s belly, making him laugh. “And you... cheeky monkey!”
The toddler giggled and babbled, as if protesting his new nickname.
“Papa, done?” Another toddler emerges, three-and-a-half years old, holding a little volleyball in her small hands.
“Ah, Papa is ready Princesa.” Tooru smiled as he carries his son in one arm.
“Papa, Papa, look!” Mitsuki tosses the small ball into the air, trying to mimic what her father does in volleyball games, but it looked like it just fell to the ground due to her lack of lift.
He gasped and beamed proudly, like she just won nationals, “There’s my setter in training!”
You rolled your eyes but smiled. Honestly, the ball barely had any height.
“Tooru, it was barely airborne…”
“Mi Princesa is heading for the Olympics!” Tooru announced proudly with a fist pump. Haru, being a pocket cheerleader, giggled and clapped his hands joyfully.
Mitsuki chortled gleefully and did her typical funny, happy dance. Something she picked up from her papa.
You couldn’t help but laugh at your little family as you picked up the little volleyball she tossed earlier.
“Oops…” You mumbled as the ball slipped through your fingers while you straightened up.
Tooru bent down with his son still tucked under his arm and picked up the ball with ease, handing it back to you with a grin.
“Let’s see if Mama can do a better job at setting then, show our Princesa and Príncipe how it’s done.”
Your fingers brushed against his and warmth unfurled in your chest. You didn’t know why, but it settled deeper than usual.
Like a long-held breath you didn’t know you were carrying had finally been released.
This was it.
No war.
No distance.
No unfinished goodbyes.
Just you.
Just him.
Just this life.
And this time…
it stayed.
~~~~
“When you dedicate yourself to pushing higher, you’re going to have to expect the hard times to outweigh the fun.
It gets to the point where you begin to believe that if it isn’t hard, if it isn’t rough, then you aren’t giving everything you can.
Yet, without any reason or rhyme, from time to time, something fun will just hit... out of nowhere.
That’s the fun that keeps pulling me onward.”
— Oikawa Tooru
🐰posted on tumblr by @shannyshotleafjuice. please do not repost or translate without permission.
✧
"Did you see me?"
✧
2011
Smoothing your new school uniform for the Nth time, you nervously stepped into the school gates of Aoba Johsai High School – a private high school that you worked hard to get in. The entrance exams were tough, but you finally made it.
Lady luck was smiling upon you that day, you thankfully met a couple nice girls – Yui and Mio – from your class and befriended them. Despite having different hobbies and clubs, you girls still managed to bond over things like fashion, food and music.
Yui was in the girls’ volleyball team, Mio was in the light music club, and you were in the library committee.
After school activities for you usually consisted of organising the books back into their shelves, manning the front desk or just chilling in a quiet corner with homework or studying. When you were more comfortable with your new school routine, you started to visit your friends during their club activities during your free time just to hang out.
One day, Yui invited you and Mio to watch a friendly game between the boys and girls’ team after school. You agreed and brought a little bag of snacks to share on the day. Yui went ahead first while Mio and you promised to catch up soon.
After changing into your sport shoes, you entered the gymnasium with Mio. While trying to adjust the strap of your school bag, the bag of snacks slipped off your fingers – a variety of sweet and salty foods spilled onto the floor. You gasped and quickly knelt down to pick them up, Mio chuckled softly and helped.
Then, the two of you started to head to the seats. Just when you thought you had everything, a male voice called out, “You dropped this, too.”
You turned around and met eyes with a tall guy in your school’s volleyball uniform, holding up a little packet of shokupan with a playful smile. Feeling embarrassed, you quickly hurried over and apologised with a few small bows. “Sorry, sorry, thank you.”
You held your hands out to accept the bread as he placed it into your palms. His fingers brushed against your skin, sending a little electricity into your hand.
It took a couple seconds for you to recover before saying another word of thanks, slipping the bread into your bag of snacks.
The boy chuckled, as he peered into your bag. “Quite a variety you have there. Maybe I should have just have secretly kept the bread to myself, it’s my favourite.”
You blinked and slowly reached into the bag to hand the bread back to him. “Umm, sure, I have quite a few snacks anyways.”
His eyes widened in surprise, “Really? You’re just giving it to me?”
Shrugging slightly, you nodded. “Yeah, have it.”
“Thanks.” He grinned and gently reached out, as if the bread was something precious.
You smiled meekly.
“You’re here to watch the game?” He nodded at the volleyball court that was being set up by a few players.
“Ah, yeah, my friend – Yui; she’s on the girls’ volleyball team.” You confirmed.
He feigned a gasp as he placed his free hand on his chest, “Traitor! Are you bribing me to let the girls win?”
You were so confused, “Eh? What- no, I’m not. I don’t even know who you are. Besides, the uniform.” I gestured at his clothes.
He looked at you questioningly and laughed. “You’re a joker, aren’t you?”
Instead of laughing, you stayed still, eyebrow raised, even more confused than before.
The boy’s eyes widened in realisation, you were serious. “Wait, you don’t know me?”
Just when he was about to say something, a loud voice shouted—
“SHITTYKAWA! STOP FLIRTING AND COME WARM UP!”
You jumped slightly in surprise from the volume of that other guy.
“Haiiii Iwa-chan~” He cooed in response. Then, he gave you a wink, “Keep your eyes on me during the game, okay?”
He turned on his heels and went towards his teammates.
You were honestly dazed, processing what just happened till Mio called out your name. Hitching up your school bag, you went towards the seats to join her. Yui scrambled over almost immediately and squished into the seat next to you. “Oh my god, Y/N! Can’t believe you just got to talk to Oikawa-senpai!”
“Who?” You mused.
Mio sighed, “Yui, this girl is always in the library. She doesn’t know who that is.”
Yui looked at you with disbelief. “For real?”
You slowly nodded.
In response, Yui went on a tangent about how great Oikawa was as a volleyball player, as a good-looking guy and as a senpai. He was a shoo-in for the boys’ volleyball team captain next year. However, she was cut short when her team captain called her over to warm up as well.
During the game, your eyes kept focusing on Oikawa. He was a great setter. You were deeply impressed; Yui’s hype did live up to his skills on the court. His serves were insane, too.
You weren’t sure if you were imagining things, but it seemed that every time his team scored, he made sure you were watching by making eye contact.
It was a close game, but the boys beat the girls – 3-2.
Unexpectedly, he ran towards you after the game, panting but smiling.
“Did you see me?” He beamed, like a child asking their parents for attention.
“…Yeah.” You blinked. “You did well.”
He grinned wider, “Since my team won, I get a prize, right?”
“Eh?”
He held out a finger and ran to his bag, that was across the gym, returning with his phone and holding it out towards you. “My prize is your number.”
“Ehh?” Confused was understatement at this point.
Mio had her hands covering her mouth and cheeks, she was even more surprised than you.
Feeling a bit pressured in such a public setting, you shyly keyed in your number and name.
Oikawa had a triumphant smile as he looked at the details stored in his phone.
“Y/Last Name Y/First Name.” He read your name aloud before looking up to meet your eyes, his smile grew wider if it could.
~
It was quite a lot of back and forth, but Tooru was persistent. Towards the end of your first year, you finally said yes to being his girlfriend.
Your feelings for each other deepened and took on a more mature light during the following year.
Although you were a couple, your worlds didn’t revolve around each other constantly. Time with each other was planned, intentional and cherished, mostly due to your different pursuits.
Since it was his final year of high school volleyball, he gave it his all. His strong desire for making it to nationals burned brightly; this was the year.
You went to almost all his matches. The Miyagi Interhigh Preliminaries was a close call against a once-famous school in volleyball history – Karasuno High School. His team secured their spot in the Spring Tournament, taking them one more step closer to nationals.
Karasuno’s persistence took everyone by surprise, and they were back for a revenge match against Aoba Johsai during the Spring Tournament. The final hurdle for Tooru to achieve his dreams was to beat them once more.
It felt like the world slowed down when you gasped. The ball slammed into the court when Tooru shifted towards the trajectory of the ball last second. Unfortunately, the last winning point for Karasuno missed Tooru’s arm by just a few centimetres. The whistle cut through the stadium, finalising the loss.
The look in his eyes crushed your soul – frustration, anger, grief and then sadness. You probably saw him cry for the first time ever when he gave his final speech as team captain, thanking them tearfully, apologising for not bringing them all the way.
After that, he was in a slump for some time, but he bounced back well, too. That’s what you admired about him; he never let failure deter him from reaching higher goals.
You’d think for someone as talented as him, he’d have a plan to enter a sports university or maybe play for Japan. But his history with another famous player in the Miyagi prefecture – Ushijima Wakatoshi – that represented Japan U18 grinded his gears. His pride wouldn’t let him.
It felt spontaneous, the night Tooru told you about his plans, about his future. He decided he wanted to train under his all-star mentor – Jose Blanco, from the Argentine volleyball team. You’ve heard about him rave about Jose before; he’s looked up to this man since he was a child.
“Do you already have a ticket?” You asked.
He nodded, “Yeah, I leave two weeks after graduation.”
Those words hit you like a truck to the face.
“…How long?” Your voice cracked slightly.
He tilted his head, “I didn’t buy a return ticket, maybe a few years? I’ll see how I go.”
You nodded. You weren’t sure what you were agreeing to.
With all your heart, you wanted him to stay, knowing you’d definitely not be able to handle the distance.
A tightness in your chest lingered for days, to the point where you reluctantly agreed, it was best for you two to part ways.
~
At the airport, you and Tooru’s close friends from the volleyball team came to send him off.
The boys decided to give you two some alone time before he had to enter the departure gates.
Tooru held onto both your hands with a melancholic smile. “Keep in touch, yeah? Maybe you’ll see me on national TV if I make the team.”
You smiled softly and nodded, “You, too. Don’t work too hard over there.”
He chuckled softly and gave your hands a little squeeze.
“Oh, before I forget.” Tooru released your hands to dig into his duffel bag, pulling out a rolled-up jersey.
It was his old volleyball uniform – the white shirt with mint green accents, his last name and their school’s name printed on it, the number 1 standing proudly in the midst of it all.
“Something to remember me by.” He beamed as he held it out to you.
Your fingers betrayed you, shaking slightly as you reached out and accepted it with a soft thanks. You were honestly fighting back some tears, reminiscing how much blood, sweat and tears he sacrificed while wearing this shirt.
“Take care of yourself, okay?” He whispered as he gently tilted your face up to meet his eyes.
His fingers clenched just slightly against your cheek.
He paused.
It wasn’t too late for him to just drop his bag and burn his ticket.
With tearful eyes you murmured, “You should go. You worked hard for this.”
The corner of his lips faltered for half a second before he quickly replaced it with a big smile and a single nod.
He pulled you into his arms for one last hug before waving at both you and his friends, disappearing behind the departure gates.
The tightness you had in your chest when he brought up Argentina for the first time resurfaced.
You pressed his jersey to your face, finally letting your tears escape.
~
“Arrived safely?” you texted.
Read.
[3 - First Quarter] < Prev. Next > [5 - Full Moon]
🐰posted on tumblr by @shannyshotleafjuice. please do not repost or translate without permission.
✧
"If you keep squeezing my hand like that,
it'll turn numb."
✧
193X
Your university organised a cultural festival to celebrate its anniversary; it was expected to be a grand event where people outside of Tokyo would come to visit as well.
On the day, you dressed up nicely in a simple, dusty-blue dress and your favourite beige cloche hat. Since it was a somewhat extravagant event, you slipped on a pair of soft white gloves to put the whole outfit together.
You weren’t really a part of any clubs at your university, since your parents preferred for you to focus on your studies instead. So, you decided to support your friend – Yachi – at the art club exhibit.
The room where the artworks were displayed was quieter than the festivities happening outdoors on campus grounds. You spotted Yachi and quietly went over to poke her in the rib, catching her off guard.
She released a gasp and softly giggled in recognition when she turned around and threw her arms around you, “You made it!” She whispered excitedly.
You smiled in return, “Care to give me a little tour?”
Yachi agreed and gave you a small tour of her corner of the exhibition. She shared the titles and inspiration behind each artwork briefly with passion in her eyes.
After a while, a couple viewers caught up to her and wanted to ask her about her technique. So, you gave her arm a brief squeeze and nodded towards the other parts of the exhibit whilst pointing to yourself. Yachi understood and attended to them.
You split off and went to look at other pieces of art, reading the little cards that contained their descriptions as you developed a natural rhythm of walking and pausing. Your hands started to get a bit warm indoors, so you took your gloves off and idly twisted them with your fingers.
You turned around to explore a different part of the exhibition.
Caught off guard by a sudden collision, you yelped slightly and dropped your gloves onto the floor.
“Sorry, sorry, sorry.” You said immediately as you held your hands up and stepped back to create space.
The man dressed in a navy suit smiled as he also had his hands held out, “No, no. I’m sorry.”
He knelt down and picked up your gloves, holding them out with an apologetic smile, “You dropped these.”
You murmured a word of thanks and accepted them. When your finger brushed against each other, it felt like there was some sort of static.
“Are you… alone?” He asked.
You nodded and then shook your head.
He raised an eyebrow with a chuckle at your response, “Is that a yes or no?”
“My friend has some artwork on display.” You gestured to Yachi who was still talking to a few people.
He hummed in thought and nodded, “I see… But are you… Staying here the whole time?”
You tilted your head in thought, “Probably not…”
He smiled, “Then allow me to accompany you in her stead,” he held his arm up for you to hold. You blinked at his straight forwardness.
“Oikawa. Oikawa Tooru’s the name.”
“Y/LastName Y/N.” You said a little bashfully but stayed still.
“Come on, don’t leave me hanging.” Oikawa chuckled as he wiggled his arm.
You pocketed your gloves and slowly but cautiously looped your hand through his arm.
He couldn’t help but smile wider as he put his hat back on and led you outside.
~
You had a great time with Oikawa at your university’s cultural festival. He was from the same university, also the same age, studying medicine. To be honest, it wasn’t his degree that impressed you, it was all the little gestures of how he tried to keep a lady safe in his company.
He made sure you walked on the inner side of the roads, hovering his hand over your head in case your head bumped into something nearby, and offering to hold your bag if you needed to rest. All those little things added up, and if you might daresay, you were utterly smitten with such a fine, young man.
Before you two parted ways, you exchanged addresses to mail letters to each other. But even before you could even write one, you two spotted each other on campus grounds more than you could count. Who needed letters anymore when you two could see each other in person?
If anyone could describe the romance between you two.
It was a whirlwind.
You clearly remembered the day he told you to be his girlfriend, pretty sure it had only been five days since you guys met at the cultural festival. As eager as him, you nodded with a big smile on your face.
Every moment with him was enlightening and you have never felt so alive.
Was this what being in love is?
If it was, you believed you had the world with you.
~
After 6 months of bliss, who knew the world would have come crashing down with a world war.
It was a time of uncertainty and fear. Slowly, young men all over Japan were sent letters, each letter contained a date of deployment, the prefecture of the barracks they were assigned to and their platoon.
Oikawa urgently ran to your house at once when he received his. His chest was heaving heavily from all the running; the paper crumpled slightly from how tight he was holding it. Your heart fell when you read the contents of the letter, he was to be deployed in a week as a medic.
The two of you spent almost every waking moment together since then.
On the day before his deployment, you sat in a park, your hand holding onto his as you two watched the leaves of the various Ginkgo trees sway in waves of red, orange and yellow. A few of them drift to the ground like quiet confetti.
“If you keep squeezing my hand like that, it’ll turn numb.” Oikawa huffed a soft laugh.
You blinked in realisation, only noticing how tight your hand was. Mumbling a soft apology, you loosened your grip sheepishly.
He reached out to curl your hair behind your ear, “It’s okay, I’d rather you make it numb than not get to hold your hand at all.”
Your eyes fell, knowing what he was implying behind his words.
Oikawa smiled still, “You know what, I was thinking…”
Shifting your gaze, you looked at him, waiting for him to finish his sentence.
“When I return, we shouldn’t wait anymore.” He suggested casually, as if he’s planning teatime.
You paused, a bit of hesitance surfacing at his words. But when you searched his eyes carefully, you knew what you needed to do.
Then, you slowly nodded, “When you return…”
Your fingers squeezed his gently again.
~
Two of you were saying your goodbyes on the train platform.
The atmosphere was heavy. Families, friends and lovers were exchanging goodbyes as countless tears were shed with the uncertainty of ever seeing each other again.
His family were also present. His mother was sobbing into her handkerchief whilst his father comfortingly rubbed her arm. His older sister nervously fiddled with her dress as she looked at him worriedly.
Your eyes scanned everything, quietly memorising. The buzzed haircut peeking out from beneath his dark green hat, the matching green coloured military uniform with brown accessories, the warmth of his hands in yours, the tight smile on his face, the quiver in his lips from time to time.
He took a deep breath when the train conductor announced the last call before departure.
Putting on the biggest smile he could muster, “I’ll miss you guys, don’t forget to write me letters!”
Unshed tears finally spilled down your cheeks as you nodded, your hands tightening subconsciously in his.
He released your hands briefly and went to give his family a big hug before returning quickly, as if his hands hadn’t left at all.
Oikawa pulled your close, his arms flung around your small frame before tilting your chin up to kiss you deeply. His lips were warmly moulded over yours, as if all his love was conveyed through that one kiss alone.
He slowly loosened his arms and shifted to whisper tenderly into your ear. “I love you so much. When I come back, I don’t want to hear that you met someone braver. Or safer.”
You blinked in response. His thumb tightened slightly at your waist.
Oikawa pulled his head back and chuckled softly, “I’m kidding. I’ll come back before that happens.”
Then, Oikawa reluctantly stepped back to board the train. His hand constantly waving as walked backwards, still waving as he looked out the window. You and his family waved back once the train started moving.
Just when you were about to lose sight of him, you moved your feet to follow the train. His eyes widened in surprise as you came back into view. As the train started to pick up, you hitched up your dress to jog next to it while slipping through the busy crowd. He urgently squeezed past the other soldiers to get to the open window.
The platform was about to end, so, at the top of your lungs you shouted, “I’ll never forget you! When you return!”
His eyes started to soften and nodded eagerly, “When I return!”
You chased the train till the end of the platform and skidded to a stop, he continued to wave, half his body sticking out the window to maintain line of sight.
“I love you!” You shouted again, but the train whistled loudly at the same time.
You didn’t know if he heard you or see you anymore, but you waved desperately as the train became smaller.
~
The first few weeks were hard, you cried yourself to sleep almost every night.
You wrote a few letters but didn’t get a response.
After a couple months, your parents tried to set you up with a promising young lawyer. They knew of Oikawa’s proposal, you told them about it. But they were trying to be realistic, there was no news from him, and no one knew when the war would end or when he would come back.
You stubbornly refused, strongly believing that Oikawa would come back.
After 3 months of waiting, you finally got his first letter. It was 4 pages long.
You couldn’t amount the sense of relief you felt to anything else when you saw the addressed letter.
He told you about the rigorous training he had to undergo, like learning to fire a gun despite being a medic. He made some nice friends in his platoon and managed to help quite a few injured soldiers in the base and out on the field. He shared some details about the war that seemed quite scary, but he never said he was scared. He explained the hold up behind his first letter, he took some time to learn the mailing schedule of his barracks and confirmed he has received your previous letters as well.
Since then, your letters were exchanged once a month. With each letter, you sent something small of yours for him to keep, a photo, a brooch, a hairclip, even a spritz of your perfume on the paper. He did the same, a military patch, a bottle cap, a dried-up flower, a small drawing.
At the same time every month, you would wait for the postman to come, hoping to receive the letter from your beloved.
It would always be the happiest day of the month when you saw your name in his handwriting.
One day, a different letter came.
It was a telegram.
You opened the letter curiously.
For a moment, you forgot how to breathe.
Your hands shook uncontrollably as your knees hit the floor.
The world felt like it was collapsing in on itself.
🐰posted on tumblr by @shannyshotleafjuice. please do not repost or translate without permission.
✧
When your fingers brushed,
the sensation lingered longer than it should have.
✧
188X
There was a small creek nearby the back of your house that you and your family would wash the laundry with. Beyond the creek was a pretty dense forest. Your eyes would often pause to admire the lush greenery, just to take a break from household chores.
One day, while you followed your younger sister to the creek with a basket of dirty clothes that the two of you had to wash together, you saw a few men at the edge of the forest with some sharp tools. They were in the midst of a discussion whilst pointing at the trees.
You looked over curiously as your sister set the pile down.
She nodded at the men, “I heard that the town is cutting down some trees from that forest to stock up on firewood for the approaching winter.”
You nodded in response, “Oh, that’s why.”
Smoothing your kimono, you sat down next to your sister by the creek. You took a sash that you stashed in your obi earlier to tie back the sleeves before reaching for one garment from the pile.
The men started their work, too, picking up saws and axes as they started to focus on chopping down one tree at a time.
After some time, the men decided to take a break by coming over to the creek to cool down. The two of you looked up from your laundry as they approached with friendly smiles. You briefly exchanged greetings mannerly as they sat on the opposite side of the creek.
The men recognised your last name, they knew your father worked as a cook at a restaurant they’ve been to. Then, they tried to engage in a light conversation while you two continued to scrub the clothes. Your sister was a bit better at multitasking than you were.
Whilst answering a question, one of the sashes you were washing slipped out of your fingers and flowed along with the creek. You gasped and quickly stood up to chase after it.
A young man had gotten up from his spot and sprinted towards it.
You blinked in surprise; this man was fast. Before you knew it, he caught the wet sash and raised it up triumphantly with a bright beam, “I got it!”
A few of the older men laughed and shook their heads, praising him and wishing they were as young as him.
He came back over with the smile plastered on his face. Twisting the sash between his hands, he tried to wring out the water before holding it out to you. “…Here you go.”
You softly smiled and bowed, “Thank you… Umm…” You trailed off, you didn’t know how to address him.
He chuckled, “Oikawa, Oikawa Tooru.”
You held both hands out to retrieve your sash back, “Thank you, Oikawa-san.”
When your fingers brushed, the sensation lingered longer than it should have – warm, unfamiliar and oddly steady.
“Try not to lose it again, Y/LastName-san.” He softened as he pulled his hand back.
~
For the next few weeks, whenever it was time to wash the laundry, you would willingly take on the task and bring your younger sister with you.
It had become a common thing to chat with the men who were stocking up lumber for the town. Their progress was slow but steady, you could see that a few stumps were leftover, and piles of chopped wood were neatly tied in bundles.
Oikawa and you got to know each other during those chats. He was a friendly guy. He usually worked in construction but took on this job to help the town out as the task needed more manpower. You were almost the same age, a couple years younger than him.
One day, when you returned from doing the laundry, your parents sat you down in a room.
“…Y/N, I need to tell you something important.” You father nodded and cleared his throat.
Your father was a bit hesitant to speak, finding it hard to bring the words up.
Then, your mother took a deep sigh and spoke.
“We have arranged for you to be married to a family in one of our neighbouring towns.”
Your eyes widened in surprise; you were completely caught off guard.
“It’s a bit far away, but you’ll have a better life there… That family runs a medicine shop.” Your father spoke softly.
Your mother nodded, “We’ve been exchanging letters with them, and they are really happy to have you as their daughter-in-law to their youngest son.”
“They have arranged for a carriage to pick you up next week.” Your father said.
Lowering your gaze, the room suddenly felt much smaller.
~
One morning, Oikawa was looking over the creek expectantly, wondering when you and your sister would show up.
One of the elder men noticed and nudged him with a chuckle, “You’re looking for the young ladies, huh?”
Oikawa awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck with a smile, feeling embarrassed he was caught.
“Ah, those girls? I talked to their father yesterday,” a middle-aged man spoke up, “He told me the older daughter was getting married to a nice family in a neighbouring town. They run a medicine shop.”
The elder man nodded in approval, understanding your father’s choice.
Oikawa blinked in surprise, “When?”
The middle-aged man tilted his head in thought, “Today, I think.”
Oikawa didn’t think twice, he dropped his tools and started running across to the other side of the creek, sprinting till his lungs started to pump hard as he ran towards the front of your house.
He skidded to a stop and looked around a bit frantically. A carriage was heading in the direction of the exit of the town. He picked up his feet and ran after it with ease, gradually catching up to it.
Just when his fingers were about to reach the back, his foot caught on loose gravel.
The world tilted and he hit the ground harder than he expected.
By the time he pushed himself up –
The carriage had already become smaller and turned to exit the town, completely out of sight.
🐰posted on tumblr by @shannyshotleafjuice. please do not repost or translate without permission.
“Some people wait a lifetime for their moment.
Some people wait several.
Today might be the day you seize the chance to let your talent bloom. It could be tomorrow, the day after, or next year.
Maybe even when you’re thirty. I’m not sure if physique has anything to do with it, but if you think it’ll never come, it probably never will.”
— Oikawa Tooru
✧
Still, you found yourself staring at the empty sky,
waiting for the next one.
✧
18XX
It was towards the end of summer, the village’s matsuri was finally happening after weeks of preparation. The townsfolk all prayed hard for the rain to not interfere with the planned festivities.
The main centre of the village was packed with little stalls and lanterns that stretched across the streets, emitting small warm glows as the sky slowly dimmed into an orange and pink hue.
Your father was the village head; he usually makes a grand speech at the beginning of each matsuri to kick off the celebrations. He never forgets to thank the people for their hard work to celebrate the rich harvest, and express gratefulness for the blessings received from the heavens above. Because of that, your family would all make an appearance together at the village’s matsuri to support your father; everyone but you.
In comparison to your older siblings, your body has always been fragile and weak since birth. Hence, you were usually advised by the doctors to stay home, being on your feet for too long made you dizzy.
Since you turned 16 a few months ago, you made your father promise to let you attend this year’s matsuri. The only condition was to not push yourself and return home immediately if you felt ill. It took a lot of back and forth, but you were so excited you couldn’t help but count down the days when you got the green light.
Your father told you to stay home during the speech, and to join the matsuri a bit later, when it has officially kicked off. That way, you wouldn’t have to strain yourself by being out for too long.
Your mother and sisters helped to dress you up in a new yukata that your mother bought for you a few days ago. It was a burgundy red with white and orange floral stitches. The redness from the yukata definitely helped to bring out more colour on your already pale complexion.
After your family left for the opening of the matsuri, Kiyoko – your designated caretaker – was helping to tie your hair up into a low bun. You two grew up alongside each other and formed a precious friendship during your time together. Your father trusted her completely, so she was the perfect companion for your first matsuri.
~
Everything felt new to you.
The taiko drums and flute that you were used to hearing them from afar felt ten times louder. The food sold at the stores looked delicious, and the smells overwhelmed your senses. Even a plain looking persimmon at a stall seemed extremely appetizing.
You had to ground yourself by holding onto Kiyoko’s arm whenever you felt weak.
Kiyoko was ever-patient, her calmness helped to guide you through the busy streets as you ate some delicious food and took in new sights and sounds. It was probably the happiest night of your life so far.
After a while, Kiyoko began to notice the sweat beads on your forehead.
“Lady Y/N, I suggest we take a break. Shall we find a quiet place to sit down?” Kiyoko suggested as she opened her paper fan to help cool you down.
You nodded and reached for your white handkerchief inside the sleeve of your yukata. Your fingers were a bit shaky, resulting in your handkerchief dropping onto the floor.
Just when Kiyoko was about to bend down to pick it up, a figure knelt down and beat her to it.
You smiled mannerly and held your hand out, “Thank you, sir.”
The young man lifted his gaze and met yours, his pupils dilating slightly as he took a pause.
He said nothing as his eyes were solely fixed on you.
You blinked and tilted your head, your hand still outstretched, “…Sir?”
He closed his eyes and shook his head before flashing a charming smile. “Here you go…” He dusted the handkerchief off and slid it into your open palm.
Your fingers brushed and you swear you felt a little tingle when your fingertips met. You cleared your throat and released a soft, awkward chuckle as you retracted your hand, “Thank you…”
Kiyoko thanked the young man as well and quickly guided you to a quieter place to sit down and rest.
~
You were tired, but you wanted to see the fireworks badly. Kiyoko wanted to bring you home a few times, but you pleaded for her to let you stay. She reluctantly gave in; she couldn’t find it in her heart to say no, seeing the longing in your eyes after watching the fireworks from far away all these years.
When the fireworks finally began, you marvelled and watched the sky in awe. Beautiful colours burst across the night sky – brilliant, fleeting, gone before you could decide which you liked best.
You shifted your gaze, wanting to see how other people looked like while watching the fireworks. The colours reflected in Kiyoko’s eyes as she slowly looked at you, and you both exchanged warm smiles.
Turning your head, you noticed someone looking right at you. Your eyes widened slightly in recognition; it was the young man from earlier. He looked like he had snapped out of something as he quickly turned his head to look up at the sky again.
You hummed softly to yourself before shifting your gaze to observe others. Children and adults alike enjoyed the wonderful display; there was something magical about fireworks. Yet no matter how brightly they shone, they all surrendered to the dark eventually. Still, you found yourself staring at the empty sky, waiting for the next one.
When the fireworks were coming to an end, Kiyoko suggested to beat the crowd and head home. You reluctantly agreed, it would be a nightmare having to walk with a huge crowd.
You weren’t sure why, but the walk home was really taxing. Kiyoko made you take a few breaks on the way back, as you looked really pale.
At the front door of your house, you started coughing really hard. You got your handkerchief out and covered your mouth. It felt like something was lodged in your throat.
When you pulled your hand back, Kiyoko’s eyes were widened with fear. The white handkerchief was now stained crimson.
~
A week and a half passed, your family were dressed in black, thanking visitors with solemn expressions. Words of comfort were exchanged between both friends and family.
The young man came to the village head’s house to pay respects. He looked at the painting that was placed near the altar and tilted his head. His mind was wondering if he’s seen this woman before.
When he saw Kiyoko standing nearby, sobbing quietly into her palms, that’s when he put two and two together.
🐰posted on tumblr by @shannyshotleafjuice. please do not repost or translate without permission.
⌛
Some nights,
he wondered.
⌛
Kento came home after the first death anniversary memorial of hers and turned on the light of his apartment.
Loosening his black tie, he pulled it off him and released a deep sigh. He unbuttoned the first couple buttons of his white dress shirt and returned his tie to its respective drawer.
Then, he stretched his shoulders and padded over to the small metal trolley of liquor in his living room. In a measured and unhurried manner, he picked up the bright brown bottle of his favourite whiskey. A soft glugging noise filled the room as he poured the smooth liquid into an empty glass.
He didn’t lift the glass immediately and down it as usual; his fingers lingered on the rim for a bit longer.
His apartment was quiet, in contrast to the busy, city lights he could see below.
Kento then picked the glass up and turned around to take a seat on his sofa. He took off his glasses and placed them on the side table before looking at the lights below again.
Killed in action – that was what the report said.
He stared at the amber liquid, swirling it just a bit to watch the light hit it.
‘She chose when to disappear.’ Satoru’s words resurfaced in his mind.
He remembered the day Satoru told him – no additional explanations, the plain truth.
Kento had understood then. Not because it hurt less, but because it made sense. She was pushed into a corner to make such drastic measures.
The Zenin had moved on quickly since her passing. Jujutsu Headquarters followed procedure. The students grieved over her loss, then returned to training with an emotional weight that made its mark. Missions continued. Curses were exorcised. Time goes on.
Her parents were devastated when they heard the news.
He kept the truth to himself.
His grip tightened around the glass.
Lifting the glass to his lips, Kento took a slow sip of his whiskey, letting the burn travel down his throat and settle in his chest.
He mourned the truth alone.
Not because no one else cared, but because this grief was his to carry. As a cousin, as part of her family. The one connection untouched by duty or politics.
Some nights, he wondered.
Not whether she was alive – he took Satoru’s word. He knew Satoru wouldn’t lie to him.
But whether she was truly safe. Did she sleep peacefully at night? Was she still watching her back, being ready for anything that came her way?
A faint glimmer from the corner of his eyes caught his attention. The faint city lights bounced off a silver photo frame, peppered with a few cute stickers on the border, making it seem a bit out of place in his modern styled apartment.
Kento turned his head and focused on the photo in the frame, a younger version of him and his cousin, standing side by side, a moment captured in time of a mid-laugh.
For a moment—
Just for a moment—
His eyes softened.
He lifted his glass of whiskey towards it.
“If you’re alive,” he murmured quietly, as if his words might reach her, “then live well.”
Kento took another small sip and set the glass down on the side table next to his glasses, unfinished.
He stood up and turned off the light.
His eyes lingered on the silver frame for a couple seconds longer before he left for the bathroom to take a shower.
Outside, the world kept moving.
The world believed she was dead.
And for once, that lie was kinder than the truth.
~~~~
If this story has a happy ending, it’s because no one was meant to see it.
But if you've made it this far, thank you for walking through it with me. I appreciate you for giving these characters your time and a place in your heart.
🐰🍵
🐰posted on tumblr by @shannyshotleafjuice. please do not repost or translate without permission.
⌛
I’m here.
⌛
Seasons passed.
My hand carefully reached out to a payphone. After slipping a few coins in, I took a few deep breaths as my finger carefully dialled the number I had memorised in hopes of reaching the person in my mind.
After a couple rings, his voice said his name, almost in a bored tone.
“…Satoru.” I whispered softly.
He exhales, just once.
“You sound far away.”
I couldn’t help but smile a little, “But alive…”
~
The very next day, I picked up my bag and headed towards the beach. The spring air was still a bit chilly, so I buttoned up my cardigan.
Whilst passing by a staircase that led towards a mountain trail, I flinched and stilled for a bit. I felt the chills even though I had my cardigan on. Instinctively, I held my hand out in the direction of the cold air – but stopped myself as I clenched my fist and retracted my hand. Hitching up my bag, I quickly walked away towards the beach.
Under the shade of a palm tree, I spotted a tall man looking my way. A hand on his hip as he had a half smile present on his lips. I broke into a grin as I closed the distance.
“…Y/N.” He said my real name gently.
“Satoru.” My lips widened into a beam.
Satoru’s subtle tilt of his head meant that he noticed my faint, unstable cursed signature but he doesn’t comment, yet.
He pushed up his sunglasses onto his head to fully take in everything. The slight curls of my hair, how my complexion was a bit more tan than usual, the new outfit he’s never seen before.
I’m here.
I quietly held my hand out, shaking slightly as my nerves betrayed me.
He wrapped his fingers around my wrist and pulled me into his strong arms without another beat.
The sound of waves and gulls behind us reflected our emotions beautifully.
~
One night, I was cooking dinner, stirring the pot of Japanese curry. The smell wafted into my nose, making me take a pause to sneeze as I turned my head aside. I made it a bit spicier since Satoru liked it more than the sweet kind.
Satoru was outside my small house, checking the barrier he had put around it after he had just come back from scouting my neighbourhood. This became a routine whenever he came when he could.
It all started when I decided to explain myself.
Satoru noticed my habitual freezes as I stared into what seemed like thin air to me – on high alert but not knowing why. However, he never pushed me to tell him, letting me decide when the time was right.
Instead, he made sure he always walks on the street side when we’re out in my coastal town. When I stiffen, he gently squeezes my hand reassuringly and waits for me to calm down. The soothing circles his thumb drew against my skin were definitely calming.
When I was ready, I told him about my binding vow that took place as soon as Panda and Inumaki exited the veil. I made it during that mission in order to survive, for our plan to be put into action.
In exchange for my perception of curses and halving my cursed energy capacity, I vowed to survive the explosion.
Since then, Satoru hated leaving me alone.
The rice cooker made a cheery tune as it completed its job. I went over and took a rice scoop to fluff up the rice. Steam released itself from the machine when the lid popped open.
“Satoru, dinner’s ready.” I called out while scooping out some rice into a bowl. My left ring finger sparkled as the light bounced off the simple stone set on a silver band.
Before entering the house, he made one final check and locked the door securely. His shoes were slipped off at the entrance hall in exchange for a pair of grey bunny house slippers.
I shuffled over to my small, round dining table in my matching pair of bunny slippers, setting the two bowls of curry down. He took his seat in the chair opposite of mine and reached out to take my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as I sat down.
“Thanks for cooking.” Satoru said with a soft smile.
“Don’t mention it.” I chuckled softly.
Times like these were one of the best. Just us, having dinner.
“Ah, I forgot the cutlery.” I said as I pushed my chair back to get up.
Satoru stopped me whilst pulling my arm, shaking his head to insist me on staying put. He went to get two sets of chopsticks and came back. Placing them on the table, he slid back into his seat.
“Eh?” I blinked as I stared at the chopsticks.
He followed my gaze and stared at them for a moment before breaking out it a hearty laugh. “I’m so dumb, sorry, sweetie!”
I laughed and shook my head, “You can use that then, I’ll go get myself a spoon.”
Sliding my chair back, I got up and went back into the kitchen to open the cutlery drawer to get some spoons.
Satoru’s smile was plastered on his face as he watched me get up, his eyes following my every move with an endearing look.
His head tilted slightly when he felt a flicker of my cursed energy, a tad more uneven than usual.
Turning his head to gaze at the moon and the sea outside my window, a soft sigh escaped his lips. His fingers idly spinning a matching silver band on his left ring finger.
He gently pulled the ring off to look at the engraved date on the inside— the day he got down on one knee.
“As long as this stays hidden,” he murmured, “this could last.”
🐰posted on tumblr by @shannyshotleafjuice. please do not repost or translate without permission.
⌛
Like second nature,
he keyed in the code on the number pad and the lock clicked open.
⌛
Satoru arrived at the scene.
He looked at the crater. Nothing remained but a hollow void.
His eyes scanned the surroundings for cursed energy residue with his Six Eyes. A prominent residue lingered near the core of the crater, with faint traces scattered outwards.
Panda called Satoru’s name, his voice lacked its usual chirpiness. Satoru diverted his attention to the boys.
Inumaki and Panda were sitting at the edge of the crater, still trying to process what just happened. Satoru went over and sat down to meet them at eye level, “What happened?”
Inumaki tugged on Satoru’s sleeve, his cheeks were still damp from his earlier tears. His eyes filled with helpless apologies.
“Tuna mayo…” He croaked weakly as he shook his head.
Panda took a deep breath before he started to explain. “We were here to help Y/N exorcise a semi-grade 1 curse. There were a few low levels as well, but we handled that.”
He clenched his fists in frustration, “The semi-grade 1 curse appeared, but it seemed stronger. Y/N’s cursed technique couldn’t fully stop it. It might have been a special.”
Whilst Panda described the curse and recounted the chain of events, Inumaki would occasionally nod or shake his head to provide his own responses.
“Did she tell you to run?” Satoru asked.
Inumaki nodded, “Salmon…”
“She smiled and told us to trust her.” Panda added with dismay.
The pain was evident in Panda’s voice and Inumaki’s gaze – the boys were blaming themselves for not saving her. The guilt ate at them the longer they sat in front of the hospital that used to be there not too long ago.
Satoru just nodded.
After a beat, he pulled his phone out to call a car to pick the boys up and return them to school.
Satoru stayed to survey the site. Slowly, he made his way to the area where he could guess was the core of the explosion due to its significant traces of cursed energy left behind. He knelt down and placed his hand on the suspected core, silently imagining the events that happened according to Panda’s story.
Although Satoru seemed calm on the surface, anger simmered beneath it. She had done it alone.
For a fraction of a second, something tugged at his senses – a thread of something thin, almost familiar and already fading.
He stilled as his eyes flicked over his shoulder.
Then, he exhaled softly and looked away.
~
Back at Jujutsu Headquarters, Satoru filed the report on paper after verbally confirming her death with the higher-ups.
He sat at his desk as he typed it up on a computer.
Name: Y/Full Name
Code: 071289
Status: Killed in action
Cause of Death: Explosion – concentrated cursed energy emitted by special grade curse within a veil. Insufficient residual energy to indicate survival.
After filing the report, he sat in silence for a bit. Then, a knock could be heard from the door of the office he was sitting in.
Kento slid the door open and stepped inside.
“Ah, Nanami, just the guy I was looking for.” Satoru gestured for him to sit down on a chair nearby. He could already guess what Kento was here for, news travels fast – especially when it concerns death.
Kento’s eyes locked onto Satoru’s as he took his seat. Satoru knew how dear Kento was as my cousin, he deserved to know.
“She chose when to disappear.” Satoru said softly, just loud enough for him to hear.
Kento’s jaw clenched subtly, a faint line forming on his forehead. He understood my need to escape from the clutches of the Zenin clan.
“Is this permanent?”
Satoru tilted his head, “As long as I’m alive.”
Kento exhaled softly and nodded once, “Then I will mourn her properly. Alone.”
~
Unknowingly, Satoru somehow appeared at the front door of my house.
Like second nature, he keyed in the code on the number pad and the lock clicked open. He turned the handle and pushed it open. The shoe closet left slightly ajar caught his attention, a habit of mine when I’m in a rush to get out.
He took his shoes off as usual and walked along the familiar hallway. He passed by the kitchen and saw my favourite mug on the drying rack and a book I was reading halfway. The bookmark, a simple piece of blue paper that seemed somewhat familiar.
Satoru went over to pick the book up, flipping to the page where the bookmark was.
His breath caught in his throat – it was the slip of paper we used to decide what my new alias would be. A few crossed out, dots found next to the names, and the final selection circled multiple times.
His finger traced the paper, recounting the day we curled up on the sofa and talked about names. It sounded so casual, like we were naming a pet or a child.
For a moment, his eyes lit up.
He took long strides and made his way to my bedroom.
The bed was unmade, and some clothes were strewn on the end of it. The subtle floral scent from my clothes that lingered in the room filled his nostrils almost immediately.
With practised ease, he went to my desk and pulled open the second drawer. He pushed the things inside the drawer to one side. Sliding his finger along the edge, he found the subtle crevice and popped the hidden compartment open.
All the documents and cash they both collated to help her disappear.
Gone.
It was unusual, for the first time ever, his knees started to shake.
Gradually, they gave way, and he accepted it by falling onto his knees. He pressed his head onto the open drawer and closed his eyes.
🐰posted on tumblr by @shannyshotleafjuice. please do not repost or translate without permission.
⌛
Silence filled the air.
⌛
The days kept moving, but the decision didn’t.
As usual, I stepped into the dull yet familiar hallways of Jujutsu Headquarters to receive my assignment. I turned a corner and knocked on a door to announce my arrival. The sound of an elderly man clearing his throat could be heard, that was my signal to enter.
I slid the door open and entered with a bow, “Good morning.”
Two elderly officials nodded in response, one man and one woman.
The fluorescent lights directly above their heads always made the higher-ups seem less approachable, but it wasn’t like they were throwing out a red carpet for me either. I took my seat on a cold, metal chair. I hated this chair, it was always so uncomfortable, especially during briefings that dragged on.
“For today.” The old woman said as she pushed a folder towards me.
Flipping the cover open, I skimmed through its contents.
“This should be easy.” The old man said. “Take 2 students from Tokyo Jujutsu High with you. Inumaki Toge – cursed speech user, and Yaga’s pet Panda.”
I was about to bring up the note about ‘unstable barrier activity’ but the old man waved his hand dismissively. The meeting ended right there. I got up from that terrible chair and gave them another bow before leaving the room.
While walking back towards the entrance, I bumped into Kento. He was also called in today to receive his mission from the officials. He didn’t say anything but nodded at the folder in my hands, so I handed it over. His eyes glanced over the pictures and words within it.
“Semi-grade 1.” He said as he looked up to meet my eyes.
“Not even, ‘Good morning, Y/N. How are you?’?” I said jokingly with a chuckle, “Hi Kento, I’m doing good.”
“There have been a few mis-graded missions lately.” He continued, dismissing my joke with his tone.
I casually waved it off, “It should be fine. I can handle it.”
He pointed at the bullet point that mentioned the unstable barrier.
“Be careful. If this escalates… retreat immediately.” The lines of his forehead deepened; it wasn’t a suggestion.
“…Don’t try to be a hero.”
~
I stood outside the eerie looking hospital with my hands on my hips. The presence of cursed energy was definitely there. I shrugged and held three fingers up.
“Emerge from the darkness, blacker than darkness. Purify that which is impure.”
A dark blob appeared in the sky, slowly enveloping the hospital and some of its surroundings within it.
Just as the barrier completed, I heard a deep “Yaa-ho!”.
I turned around to see Panda waving his hand, maybe a bit too excitedly. Next to him, Inumaki had his usual jacket zipped up to cover half of his face, but his eyes were smiling in a friendly manner.
“Kelp.” Inumaki greeted.
They were Satoru’s students. He talks about his students a lot; it’s cute, like a proud papa bear. I’ve met them a couple times, they’re a solid bunch.
I raised my hand and smiled softly as they approached, “Yaa-ho.” We exchanged a few pleasantries before turning our attention towards the veil.
Being the senior in charge, I led the way and entered first. Looking over my shoulder, I checked up on Inumaki and Panda.
Inumaki’s eyes scanned the area quietly while Panda already had his bright blue knuckle bracers clenched in his fists, placing them in a guarding position.
I placed my hand on the handle of my cursed tool – a kyoketsu-shoge, also known as Tsukikage (月影) – bracing myself for any sudden attacks as I took lead. Tuning into the reading of cursed energy, I led them deeper into the hospital to find the target.
Along the way, smaller curses appeared. They usually attack in numbers, so we knew a group of them would appear soon. A group of curses that looked like dirtied syringes started screeching and running towards us from different directions.
“Be careful, don’t get stabbed by their needles.” I cautioned, “Panda, we’ll try to group them together and you do your thing, Inumaki.”
“Hai!”
“Salmon!”
I swirled the chain and flung the dagger at the curses to maintain distance. It sliced the curses as I gradually pushed them towards the middle of an empty space. Panda approached the curses strategically before engaging them in fist fights. He packed a few big punches to send them flying towards the same spot. The two of us worked together to round up the curses into a focal point for Inumaki.
“Panda, fall back! Now!” I shouted.
Panda rolled to safety while I stayed away from the curses. Inumaki stood within range and unzipped his jacket. He focused on the curses before shouting, “Explode!”
Inumaki’s voice resonated. The curses stopped for a couple seconds as their demonic eyes glazed over.
BOOM!
The floor shook.
Fragments of their cursed bodies burnt to ash before they hit the ground.
I nodded in approval; Satoru taught them well. I looked up to assess the veil; it was still in place. Inumaki and Panda raised their heads to observe the same thing.
A soft shuffle led into a quick scurry as I heard something coming our way, it sounded fast. From the corner of my eye, I saw a shadow flinging itself towards Inumaki.
My eyes widened and I swiftly twirled Tsukikage’s chain and threw it at Inumaki to wrap it around him. I used my full body strength, rolling back to pull him towards me. Inumaki was thrown off guard as he was sent into the air.
Panda was about to say something when a loud thud shook the ground we were on.
The shadow landed right where Inumaki was standing before, cracking the ground it was standing on. An earth-shattering roar was heard, making the hairs on the back of our necks stand.
“If I die, everyone should die!” A warbled voice shouted.
We looked up to see a grotesque-looking curse, almost the size of a murky-green car. It had surgical knifes as hands while it looked like a slimy praying mantis.
The weight of the air felt ten times heavier, something was off with this curse, the amount of cursed energy within the veil seemed to have sky-rocketed from its presence. ‘This is semi-grade 1? Unless… Kento called it – misgraded...’ I thought with a frown.
Inumaki quickly scrambled to his feet, his brows furrowed as he observed it. Panda’s fists were held at the ready once more. I looked at them with my frown still present; their eyes met mine with affirmation, they could sense the ominous aura from this curse, too.
The curse then launched itself at Panda whilst spinning like a top. Its knives mimicked a deadly dance. Inumaki quickly focused on the curse, “GET SMASHED!”
An invisible force crushed the curse into the ground, creating another hole in the broken tiles. A small cloud of dust rose up from the spot.
Inumaki fell on all fours and started coughing hard. He put a hand to his mouth while the other patted his pockets to look for something desperately. I rushed over and placed my hand on his back, “What are you looking for?”
Inumaki looked at me in dismay, coughing still. Panda’s eyes widened when he knew what his friend was looking for.
“He forgot his throat medicine.” Panda said.
Inumaki nodded weakly in response, his hand covering his mouth as the other rubbed his throat while wincing.
“You steer clear. Defensive only.” I made the call in an authoritative tone, Inumaki was out of commission at this point. He looked at me worriedly but slowly nodded as he gave in.
I looked over to Panda, knowing he’s more at risk since he fights at close combat.
“I’ll be careful.” Panda said with a confident nod, as if answering my worries.
The cloud of dust slowly dissipated, but the curse was nowhere to be seen. “Group up.” I said.
We had our backs against each other as we cautiously kept our eyes and ears peeled. It was awfully still.
Suddenly, a loud screech and a dark shadow appeared close by at a frightening speed.
I activated my cursed technique and held my palm out in the direction of the curse, then clenched it into a fist as I tried to stop it. To my surprise, instead of stopping it, the curse moved in slow motion. ‘This was supposed to be a semi-grade 1... so why does it feel worse?’ I thought.
“Panda!” I shouted. Panda sprang into action and started punching the curse. Inumaki stood back and fought defensively if the curse attacked him.
Panda was skilful in close combat, throwing multiple punches in succession whilst avoiding the curse’s sharp blades. The curse took a few hits, but it seemed to be unfazed by the punches.
After realising his punches weren’t making much impact, Panda huffed. He fell back temporarily and activated his cursed technique, concentrating the energy into his fists.
I picked up my cursed tool and got a little closer to join the fight. However, I had to focus as well to keep the target’s speed low.
Panda resumed his punches. The curse slammed into a rusted hospital bed, metal screeching across the floor. I embedded cursed energy into my Tsukikage and swung my dagger at the curse, delivering painful slices as the curse wailed.
After a couple minutes, I noticed that the curse was gradually turning from a greenish to reddish hue. There was a slightly heavier concentration in its chest as it started to emit a bright red glow. Panda and I continued to be on the offense, but I couldn’t keep my cursed technique activated for too long. My brain tightened under the strain.
The air started to feel hotter.
The cursed energy it its chest surged higher. It felt like it was going to explode. We had to kill it before it blew. But it was stronger than I anticipated.
My head was getting tighter by the minute; my control was slowly slipping as I had to reactivate my technique a few times in short bursts to keep my brain from being absolutely fried. We have no choice but to retreat. Panda swung really hard and sent the curse flying into the wall.
“Retreat!” I told the boys. We started sprinting towards the direction of the entrance of the hospital.
I occasionally stopped to keep the curse in control by rewinding short intervals of time when it came within my range. Only seconds at a time — enough to delay it, never enough to undo it.
That took a bigger toll on me than stopping or fast-forwarding time.
At this point, my brain was spiralling. The sound of my heart felt deafening, too. We could sense the cursed energy within the curse was reaching a dangerous point.
We were almost to the entrance, but a few collapsed walls were in the way, forcing us to make a detour. The curse was getting faster as my control was getting weaker. My eyes widened in realisation. This is it.
I stopped in my tracks.
The dust swirled at my boots.
Panda and Inumaki staggered to a stop.
They stared at me.
“Let’s go, Y/N!” Panda shouted.
I shook my head. “It’s getting faster. Keep running and don’t look back.”
“Bonito flakes!”
“It’s an order.”
“Trust me.”
I smiled – just enough to make them listen.
I tightened my grip to stop the tremor in my wrist.
The boys reluctantly shuffled back. I tossed my chain upwards and wrapped it around the doorframe that was on the verge of collapse and yanked it hard, creating a barricade between us.
“Y/N!”
“Bonito flakes!”
I could sense the curse getting closer.
“GO!” I shouted before clenching onto my Tsukikage tightly as I ran towards the curse.
Panda and Inumaki looked at each other in distraught before taking a few steps back and breaking into a sprint.
I faced the curse and used everything I had to stop it.
I was hitting my limit; a trail of blood trickled down my nose as my head threatened to split open. Gritting my teeth, I wiped it away with the back of my hand and focused on keeping the curse at bay. I just had to wait for the boys to escape the veil — and let the curse blow up its domain.
I wrapped my chain around the curse and flung it out the window to take the battle outside. Jumping through the window, I landed in a courtyard.
Before the curse could get up, I constricted it with my chain once more and hurled it around with loud grunts. As predicted, the cursed energy became more concentrated, and the bright red glow was becoming blinding.
“If I die, you die! Double suicide!” The curse cackled evilly.
Once I felt the boys exit the veil, I deeply sighed in relief.
The boys were panting hard as they turned around to look at the veil, worry filled their eyes, silently hoping to see me emerge from the veil.
The glow from its chest painted the courtyard red.
A little tremor was felt and soon the veil slowly dissipated to reveal an empty crater where the hospital once stood.
🐰posted on tumblr by @shannyshotleafjuice. please do not repost or translate without permission.
⌛
"You decide when you disappear."
⌛
The sun was gone. Satoru and I laid in my bed as usual, grounding ourselves with each other’s presence. I placed my head on his chest while his arms wrapped around me in a comforting embrace. I inhaled deeply. His scent, a mild citrusy smell that came from his expensive laundry detergent, and a hint of something sweet, like strawberries and cream.
Words alone cannot express how elated I am.
Above everything else, Satoru chose me.
In my head, I felt like a teenager. I felt like giggling, kicking my feet and rolling around the bed. I couldn’t help but smile at the moment we were having now. It felt like one of our regular rendezvous, although unplanned, it was still precious time together.
The atmosphere started to get heavy when my blissful high descended to a calmer, more rational mindset. Questions outnumbered answers as my fingers fidgeted with the buttons of his shirt. On the contrary, Satoru was unusually still.
His hands combed through my hair, fingers gently tracing my skin, eyes slowly scanning my features. It felt like he was memorising all of me, as if I might disappear any second. He slipped his hand through my fiddling one and placed it over his heart with a soft sigh.
That’s when I knew. This is real.
“So…” I muttered, “What’s our plan?”
“We don’t disappear.” Satoru said calmly.
“We end you – on record.”
The word end lodged somewhere beneath my ribs.
I raised an eyebrow in response, but I don’t question its integrity. Knowing Satoru for this long, I know he wouldn’t just toss something out like that so casually.
“If you die doing your job, no one questions it,” Satoru nodded once, “They just move on.”
The silence after his words felt tense.
His plan was foolproof. Sorcerers died on mission all the time. No one lingered on details long enough to care. This would throw the Zenin off, probably send them spiralling even. However, there were a few loose ends that needed to be tightened to fool not just the Zenin – everyone.
“If I were to die, they’d investigate and look for evidence of my death. It’s not just a hit and run. My body, my cursed energy, the cause of death. They’d want to know.” I voiced my concerns.
Satoru pondered on it for a beat.
“We don’t fake an accident. We let a curse do the work.”
I tried to wrap my head around it – then my breath caught.
I lifted my gaze from our intertwined fingers to look into his eyes. It felt like a dark storm was brewing in them, but he didn’t waver, he was putting all his cards down.
“If I do this… you won’t come looking?” I asked softly, my hand squeezing his just a bit.
Satoru squeezed my hand in return with a determined look, “I won’t.” Not before a corner of his lips lifted slightly and murmured, “Unless you want me to.”
I chuckled softly and shook my head, trying to dismiss that little crooked smile that made my heart flutter.
A soft exhale escaped my lips shortly after, the weight in the room shifted slightly. I wasn’t questioning myself ‘How?’ anymore, but my own will to go through with it. In exchange for a future with Satoru, high stakes needed to take place.
I had to become a Jane Doe.
Satoru’s touch resumed. His free hand went through my hair again, and his thumb rubbed against my cheek softly, like he did before. But this time, I could feel the weight behind his touch. He was preserving me.
He stayed silent. He knew it was ultimately something I had to decide for myself. All I had to do was say the word.
“Sweetie?” Satoru whispered.
My gaze shifted to meet his eyes once more.
“You don’t have to decide now.” He assured with a soft smile.
His eyes then darkened slightly with a hint of solemness. “Once it starts… I won’t interfere. You decide when you disappear.”
🐰posted on tumblr by @shannyshotleafjuice. please do not repost or translate without permission.
⌛
"Duties be damned,
can't I be selfish for once in my life?"
⌛
After sending my mother home, I went to my own house on the outskirts of Tokyo, the quieter parts of town where I could see the city lights from afar. My mother wanted to debrief, but I was not in the right state of mind. The sun was already setting, orange light spilling cross my face. I hadn’t even realised how long I’d been sitting there.
I wish Satoru was here, I want need to talk to him… I didn’t think it would come to this. The Zenin wouldn’t let that slap go unanswered.
Just as I got up from the sofa, I heard the beeping of the keypad on my door, someone was unlocking it. If it was my parents, I didn’t feel like talking yet. I huffed and hitched up the furisode higher to shuffle to the entrance faster.
“If you want to talk about it, I’m not re-” I stopped in my tracks as saw the man I’ve been thinking of. Satoru kicked his shoes off at the entrance hall and came over in what seemed like… angry strides?
“The Zenin clan?! Really?!” He snapped as he gripped onto me by the shoulders, catching me off guard as I flinched at his tone. He’s rarely this angry with me, but when he does, it scares me sometimes.
My eyes expressed a mix of fear and confusion. He shouldn’t be here.
Behind his blindfold, his eyes widened slightly, then softened apologetically before he pulled me into his arms.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered into my hair as he squeezed me, “I decided to come back after hearing from my clan that the Zenin clan extended a wedding proposal to a sorceress that could manipulate time. When I found out it was you, I couldn’t just stay put…”
I briefly inhaled his familiar scent to ground myself before tilting my head upwards from his chest to look at him, “But… Your mission…”
Satoru chuckled lowly whilst shaking his head, “Seriously? You’re worried more about my mission? Don’t worry, it was just recon. I’ve gathered sufficient information before coming back.”
He heaved a deep sigh and shifted back to press his forehead against mine. “Now… You need to tell me what is happening exactly. I want to hear every single thing.” He enunciated the last three words as he pulled back fully to look at my face properly.
Before I could say anything, Satoru gently pushed me back and held me at arm’s length again. He pulled off his blindfold, then his eyes went down slowly, up, down and all the way back up to my face.
“Y/N…” He said softly, as if he had the wind knocked out of him temporarily. “What is this..?” He asked, his tone turning playful as a smirk played on his lips.
He held one of my hands above my head and made me do a twirl just so he could get a 360 view. That smile he usually has when he sees me was much, much brighter this time. “Damn girl… Where have you been?” He smirked.
Blood rushed to my cheeks naturally. Even though we’ve been together for some time now, he still sends these butterflies directly to my stomach. I lightly punched his chest as a bashful response, “Shush, you…”
He laughed heartily, “Now, now. Don’t get all shy on me, sweetie.” His hands slid down to my waist as he pulled me back closer with a dumb, flirty smile plastered on his face. “I just came back from Kenya and my sweetie turned in an absolute goddess.”
At this point, my ears were probably red as well.
Satoru is such a sweet talker; it’s not that I hated it, but I hated how I often not know how to respond. Calling me sweetie was an inside joke, he said he could never part with sweets due to his unhealthy obsession, so I “became” one.
I eventually called him ‘sweetie’, too. I teased how much of a sweet talker he is because all the sweets he ingested were spilling out through his words.
Fumbling temporarily, another weak “Shush…” was all I could muster. Given the situation, he couldn’t help but tease and fawn over me for a bit longer.
When the blood in my cheeks started to give me a break, I explained that I was dressed up because of my meeting with Naobito and Naoya Zenin earlier today. Satoru’s smile faltered at the names, it seems like he knew them personally.
“What did they say?” his arms tightened around me.
We transitioned to my sofa in the living room so I could recount everything. I could feel Satoru tense from time to time, expressing his anger subtly as I talked. Satoru’s expressions were unreadable, but he was definitely thinking real hard. We started throwing ideas back and forth before coming up with a few options:
Keep rejecting them till they give up
(We know that’s going to be hard…)
The Gojo clan will take on the Zenin clan for my hand
(This will cause a big war, and we don’t think we’d want that. They’re not the real enemy.)
Go to the nearest town hall and register as a married couple so that we are one step ahead
(It’s cute and could possibly work, but Satoru and I want the day to be special, if it were to happen in the future. Also, it’s not a 100% that the Zenin clan would back down.)
Of course, option 2 and 3 would require announcing our relationship. As much as Satoru and I wanted to proceed with some normalcy of being in public together as a couple, we both knew that would put extra targets on my back cause of who he is. I’d become a huge weakness in the eyes of his enemies.
Although I was a capable sorceress, I doubt I can compare to people who’d try to challenge ‘The Strongest’. I exhaled deeply, it seemed like all our ideas took us back to the drawing board.
“Wouldn’t it be easy if we could just run away and start anew?” I chuckled at my wishful thinking.
Satoru laughed softly and nodded as he laced his fingers through mine, tracing gentle circles on the back of my hand with his thumb, “That would be perfect.”
He stared at our interlaced fingers for a beat. “…What if we eloped?”
I smiled and shook my head, “That’s easier said than done…”
Instead of laughing it off, he squeezed my hand tighter, “I mean it, Y/N. Let’s do it.”
I searched his eyes for a moment; he was being serious.
“Satoru, we can’t just ditch everything and run away, we both have a duty in keeping the public safe, especially after… the Star Plasma Vessel… A duty to our-”
“A duty to our country, yes, yes…” He sighed melancholically.
He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Duties be damned, can’t I be selfish for once in my life? For wanting to protect the one woman I love? I don’t want to lose another precious person in my life, not when I have some control of the situation.”
He was dead serious. I felt slightly guilty for bringing up the Star Plasma Vessel incident; however, there has been a rising trend of curses becoming stronger since then, and jujutsu society believe that it’s linked. My brain told me we had to be rational about this.
On the other hand, my heart could see a strong man quietly breaking down. All his life, he had put others before himself cause of who he is and what he can do; now, he wanted just one thing for himself.
“Please…” he whispered as he held my gaze, opening my palm and placing it against his cheek.
Then, Satoru shifted us to a sitting position and got down on one knee before me. He gently cradled both my hands in his. ‘Has his hands always been this big?’ I thought as I looked at our joined hands.
With a tender squeeze, he said my full name to capture my attention. “You’re the only one for me.”
He paused – deliberately.
“And I don’t share.”
He huffed a soft laugh as his thumbs tightened around my hands, “I don’t have a ring. I don’t have a plan yet.”
“But I’m not letting anyone take you. So— stay with me.”
I was speechless. Unshed tears brimmed in my eyes, making my vision blurry. I took a deep breath to steady my heart, but the tears started to flow alongside my shaky exhale instead.
“Such a cry-baby…” Satoru murmured endearingly before shifting his weight fully to his knees so he could pull me into a hug. I sobbed softly into his shirt as he whispered words of comfort and affection into my ear. He tenderly swayed me from side to side as he rubbed circles on my back.
When my tears had finally subsided and soft hiccups were all that remained, Satoru pulled back and smiled softly, “No more tears left, sweetie?” I couldn’t help but crack a small smile and nodded before sniffling.
“There’s my girl.” He whispered and pressed a gentle kiss onto my forehead. “So… What is your answer? You were crying so much, I couldn’t hear a yes or no.” He murmured against my temple playfully.
I took a deep breath before nodding slowly, “I will… Let’s elope…”
Satoru tilted my chin up and pressed his lips lovingly against mine with a hint of a smile; a mix of passion, love and happiness could be felt through his kiss. I cupped his cheek tenderly and returned it, pouring my own emotions of gratitude and affection into it as well.
After a while, we pulled back and rested our foreheads on each other’s, a tiny bit out of breath. Our hands cradling each other’s faces delicately as we fixed our eyes on each other. “We need a plan though. A good one…” I murmured.
Satoru nodded with a boyish grin, “Then we make one.”
🐰posted on tumblr by @shannyshotleafjuice. please do not repost or translate without permission.
⏳
"The Zenin always have motive."
⏳
Although I had politely turned down the proposal, the Zenin clan were persistent – a meeting was already organised to be held at their “humble” abode. My mother insisted that I dress up. Why did I have to impress someone I’ve rejected?
I haven’t told Satoru yet, not yet… I thought I’d handle this myself. Everyone in jujutsu society knows the bad blood between the Gojo clan and the Zenin clan. Trust me, he’d absolutely lose his marbles. Besides, he is on a mission in Kenya for the week, so he is busy, too.
A few days later, I found myself in my childhood bedroom, sitting in front of my old vanity as my mother brushed my hair. I didn’t know what the big fuss was about, but my mother went to lengths to hire a stylist.
Within a few hours, I barely recognised myself; I don’t think I’ve dressed up to this state in my life, ever. The makeup still retained my natural appearance, enhancing it slightly with a few shadows, highlights and colours. But the hair, the dress…
I stared at myself in the mirror, surprise softening into reluctant interest. I tilted my head slightly as I ran my hands along the fine silk of the deep-purple furisode I had on. The traditional hair ornaments that held my hair up in a voluminous bun caught the light of the room and gave off a little sparkle.
“Wow…” was all I could say to myself.
Looking at my mother over my shoulder, I asked, “Was this necessary? It’s just a meeting for a proposal I am going to turn down again anyways.”
My mother clicked her tongue and came over to smooth my furisode, dusting off imaginary lint whilst adjusting my obi. “The Zenin clan invited you to their home, you should know that is a great honour.”
I scoffed lightly, “Mama, don’t you think it’s strange? Our last names are barely mentioned in jujutsu history and suddenly a Zenin takes an interest in me? You know their reputation, and yet here you are, playing dress up with me before going into the lion’s den.”
My mother frowned slightly at my words whilst her hands were still smoothing my dress. I softened, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound rude… But I mean it when I asked, don’t you agree it’s strange?”
She sighed softly, moving her hands to cup my face and rubbing the pad of her thumbs against my cheeks gently. “Yes, it does seem a bit strange. But maybe the Zenin clan are interested because of how much hard work you’ve put in to be where you are now.” She shrugged simply, letting her positive answer hang in the air for a bit.
I searched her eyes and raised an eyebrow, “With a marriage proposal? Not even an introduction or a date first?”
My mother sighed in response again, “Y/N… Like I said, they’re traditional, old-fashioned, some might say. Arranged marriages were a big thing back in the day. Some are lucky to marry for love but some also fall in love after they get married.”
“Are we in the 21st century or not? And really, mama, you’d want me to join the Zenin clan?” I looked at her straight in the eyes, looking for an honest answer for my second question specifically.
“It’s not set in stone. That’s what this meeting is for, right? To meet, introduce yourselves; like you said. Who knows, maybe dates might come after if everything goes smoothly.” She smiled in a reassuring manner as she rubbed the sides of my arms.
Her face then turned serious, “And I know what the Zenin are capable of, I’m not sending you into the lion’s den alone. Your father is dealing with some matters now, but I’ll be right next to you, okay?”
She squeezed my arms comfortingly, in which I responded with a soft hum of agreement and a nod.
An unexpected visitor appeared at the door of my parents’ house. He had a small bag of pastries from that patisserie we both like, which meant he didn’t come here on a whim from his usual 9-5 job.
“Kento?” I blinked.
He greeted both my mother and I before my mother let him in, she didn’t seem as surprised as me.
Of course, family talks. My mother told his mother about the proposal, which his mother then told him. Right, right…
Apparently, Kento had quit his salaryman job and is working as a sorcerer now. He said sitting behind a desk and making the rich richer was not as rewarding as being a sorcerer.
Kento nodded in approval as he looked me up and down, “You clean up pretty well, didn’t expect to see you in a furisode one day, let alone a purple one.”
I chuckled as I smacked his arm lightly, “You could’ve just said I look pretty.”
Kento scoffed lightly before laughing softly, that deep laugh he developed when his voice changed, it was calming for me. He told me he was here to see me off.
Kento nodded once, his eyes lingering on me longer than usual.
“Be careful, Y/N,” he said quietly, “The Zenin always have motive.”
~
My mother and I tucked our legs underneath us, settling on the pillows placed on the tatami mat in the room we were brought to by the house staff. They said the hosts - Naobito and Naoya Zenin - would be with us soon.
After a couple minutes, the hosts graced us with their presence.
My mother and I bowed in greeting, “Thank you for inviting us here, we pardon the intrusion.” My mother said as we kept our heads down.
“We have matters to discuss.” Naobito said gruffly as both he and Naoya sat down, then we raised our heads.
Naobito reeked of alcohol and didn’t sound like he was trying to exchange pleasantries at all even though this was our first time meeting, just business.
He had this air of nonchalance and arrogance, as if he didn’t want to be here, and we forced this meeting upon him instead.
My eyes met Naoya’s when I realised, he was slowly scanning me from my head to my feet. He didn’t look away and held my gaze instead, but there was something in his eyes that were telling me he demanded attention and respect.
He exuded a similar vibe as Naobito – haughty and scornful, minus the alcohol. My eyes then started to widen slightly when I observed a corner of his lip curve up into a smirk as he released a light scoff in my direction before rolling his eyes away.
Naobito’s speech was slightly slurred from the effects of alcohol. He probably has a flask of alcohol or something on him. “I sent a wedding proposal a few days ago… and it was turned down, why?”
“Well, I don’t know the man I am marrying.” I replied simply.
Naobito scoffed and held an outstretched palm towards Naoya, “Naoya,” then he gestured to you, “Y/N,” and then nodded, “there you go, you’ve met. This marriage should take place soon.”
I was at a loss for words, looking at him in disbelief; he was treating this like a transaction.
My mother cleared her throat, “Pardon me for cutting in, I believe my daughter is within her own rights to turn down a marriage proposal she doesn’t wish to proceed with.”
“Did we ask you?” Naoya said.
The room went still.
My mother lowered her gaze and murmured an apology.
It felt like I had to swallow a dry pill before I opened my mouth, “I don’t want to marry you.”
Naobito laughed as he smacked his thigh, “She’s saying it like she has a say in marriages,” as expected, he took out a red gourd from his sleeve and took a good swig.
He exhaled deeply after swallowing some spirit and looked at me, “You’re just a woman.”
Naoya had this smug grin on his face before he added, “Women are just accessories for men to carry on their legacy. That’s all they're good for, nothing else.”
It hadn’t even been 10 minutes. My stomach twisted, heat rising fast and sharp.
I stood before I realised, I’d moved. Naoya’s eyes following mine as I closed the distance between us. My palm met the side of his face with a loud smack, making him avert his gaze from the impact; it felt good to wipe that smug look off his face.
My mother gasped as I came to realisation of what I’ve done. I exhaled slowly.
“I will never marry someone like you.” I said softly, just enough for him to hear me.
Naoya touched the side of his face, his gaze darkening.
“Troublesome,” he muttered.
I turned and pulled my mother to her feet. We were leaving.
I walked out of the Zenin house without looking back.
After we had left, Naobito and Naoya were still sitting in the room.
Naobito then released a deep sigh, “We need her. Her cursed technique could strengthen the Zenin bloodline. With her, we’d rival even the Gojo clan.”
Hi there, thanks for stopping by! I’ve been sitting with this story for a while before finally putting it into words. Expect choices made in silence, duty that lingers, and a love that exists quietly—but refuses to disappear. If that’s your thing, I hope you’ll stay. Here goes nothing :)
🐰posted on tumblr by @shannyshotleafjuice. please do not repost or translate without permission.
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"People don't stay the same around him."
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No one has really heard of my last name in jujutsu society, it has never left much of a mark. That is, till some people heard of my ability to manipulate small windows of time as a child.
“Fascinating technique.” I heard someone once say as my fingers brushed against a butterfly, making it flutter in slow-motion for a few seconds.
~
Being born in the same year, I grew up alongside my cousin - Nanami Kento. Even though we were different in personality, we clicked, forming an almost sibling-like bond; with him being the more responsible one even though I was older by 2 months.
Despite not being born from families of high jujutsu status, we were both surprised when we received acceptance letters from Tokyo Prefectural Jujutsu High School. We applied without expectations, knowing how rarely people like us were accepted.
With the letter, came an invitation to a welcome party, meant to introduce the new freshmen to each other and the staff. Being a bit more extroverted of the two, I had to really convince Kento to come with me. Kento despised parties, small talk was never his forte. It took a lot of bribing of savoury treats for him to come with me.
~
Although I was the one who wanted to come, I still found myself clutching Kento’s arm – a childhood habit I had never quite outgrown. Kento tried to pull his arm away, but gave up after a couple attempts, my hands were going nowhere. I might have left some red marks on his arm from how tight I was squeezing it, I can't remember.
There were so many new faces and names to remember. Formalities were exchanged and small talk escalated to interesting conversations when two or more people found shared connections.
I haven't spoken to him yet, but my attention kept drifting his way whenever he laughed – a loud, unapologetic sound that cut through the hum of voices around him. It didn’t sound forced. If anything, it was genuine.
Two things stood out immediately. His hair was a striking shade of silver-white, far too bold for someone our age. And despite being indoors, at night, he wore a pair of dark sunglasses.
Interesting, I thought.
An hour in, Kento and I were already exhausted from people. We decided to hang in a corner while holding our drinks, pretending to have a conversation as we bring up random things - mostly me rambling about dogs I once saw at a park, and Kento listening with practiced patience.
The noise of the hall had started to blur together, voices overlapping into a dull hum. I was halfway through another ramble about a dog I’d seen once—something about its impossibly fluffy ears—when Kento’s posture shifted beside me. Subtle. Almost imperceptible; But I’d known him long enough to notice. His gaze slid past me, not tense, not alarmed—just alert.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” The question came from in front of us.
I looked up, it was him—the silver-haired boy I’d caught myself glancing at more times than I cared to admit. Up close, the sunglasses felt even more out of place, worn indoors at night as if the rules simply didn’t apply to him.
He smiled easily, like we were already mid-conversation.
“I—” I paused, caught off guard. “I think so.”
He tilted his head. “That’s not really an answer.”
I huffed a quiet laugh. “I don’t know yet. I’m still figuring out what I’m supposed to feel.”
For a moment, he just watched me. Then he hummed, thoughtfully, “That’s honest. Most people pretend faster.”
Before I could respond, Kento spoke. “We were just leaving,” he said evenly, though neither of us had moved at all.
The boy’s attention flicked to him, assessing Kento with a sharp gaze, before returning to me. His smile widened, just a fraction. “Another time, then,” he said lightly. “When it’s less loud.”
He stepped back, already blending into the crowd.
“Gojo Satoru,” he added, almost as an afterthought.
The name landed heavily.
Gojo.
I didn’t trust myself to speak before he disappeared. Holding onto my arm, Kento moved us toward the edge of the hall, the noise dulling again. For a while, he said nothing. Then, he looked me in the eyes.
“Be careful.”
I glanced at him. “Of him?”
Kento shook his head once, his expression unreadable.
“People don’t stay the same around him.”
~
The pressure of being classmates with a prodigy clouded our thoughts, so we pushed ourselves hard in the first year. Kento and I were bestowed first-grade sorcerer status; we weren’t over-achievers, but we were sure as hell proud of our efforts.
During our time in school, we realised that Gojo Satoru was just like us, another person, another human. He had an unhealthy obsession with sweets, the reckless nature of a typical teenager, a really childish and playful personality that most likely stemmed from his lack of freedom during his childhood, as well as unrivalled confidence that often crossed over to the line of arrogance.
Even though the three years in high school seemed short, a lot of things happened. In our second year, Kento and I lost our dear friend — Haibara Yu, the only other classmate we had. Our mental state took a toll, in which Kento often questioned himself if he was cut out to be a sorcerer. My thoughts would sometimes wander into dark places, too.
In the same year, Satoru lost his best friend as well - Geto Suguru - they were tasked with escorting and protecting the Star Plasma Vessel, which they failed and resulted in the deaths of the vessel herself and Suguru.
That incident alone became a pivotal point in both jujutsu history and his personal life.
Satoru and I were two broken people seeking comfort from each other. At first, it was platonic. We encouraged each other, were there for one another, especially when we needed someone to talk or listen to. Brief conversations during our free time led to deeper chats, then it became second nature to schedule times to meet, which often dragged on late into the night as we lost track of time easily.
I found myself wanting to see more and more of him.
Although Satoru successfully avenged the death of his friend, he came to realise the major flaws and cracks in our current jujutsu society. He wanted change.
During our chats, I sometimes jokingly add that he's going to be an elder or teacher someday to change these old ways. He laughed, saying he'd get rid of the old geezers for good, but he did have a few serious moments when he thought of being a teacher.
~
When he graduated, I was finishing my third year with Kento. I missed the conversations with him; being ‘The Strongest Sorcerer’ does keep him busy. It was strange, not being able to just walk over to his dorm and knock on the door to see him anymore. We would text occasionally, but from what I gather he’s almost at a different time zone every week, mission after mission.
Another year passed, Kento and I graduated. Kento decided to work as a salaryman, he hasn’t fully recovered from Yu’s death since he experienced it first-hand. I felt apologetic, thinking I should have been there for him more. But Kento constantly reminded me to never blame myself, it's his choice. He was proud of us, proud of what we've achieved and become. Kento said he is always a phone call away.
I, on the other hand, transitioned into a full-time sorceress. Jujutsu High polished me. I was quite highly regarded due to my cursed technique, manipulating windows of time at will within a certain range, as long as I could picture my target in my head. I could stop time, make it go slower and faster. However, close combat wasn't my speciality; I relied on cursed tools that gave me distance.
With great power comes great respo- I mean, side effects... It's completely normal for me to get these killer migraines, sometimes nosebleeds, when my technique was activated beyond my limits. Pain killers were always at hand, to the point that Kento would often top them up for me when I was low. I relied on them a lot in high school.
Now I understood why Satoru often stuffed himself with sweets when he was trying to enhance his Limitless technique. But pushing my limits reaped rewards as well, I can confidently say that my record time for activating my technique continuously is 18 minutes. Rewinding time is tougher though.
~
Since we both started working full-time, Satoru and I have kept in contact all these years. At first, it was the occasional text - small talk, which then transitioned to a few meet ups in Tokyo. It was as if history repeated itself; these meetups became more regular, almost to the point that we would always meet whenever we were both in Tokyo.
Satoru had matured a bit over time, just a bit... He still reminds me of that loud, obnoxious-laughing teenager I met during that welcome party years ago.
But there was something different now. Beneath the confidence and careless bragging about being the strongest sorcerer alive, there were moments where he would just sigh, as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders alone. His mindset about the cracks of jujutsu society were the same, about how unfair and outdated it was, about how he wanted it to change.
Simply put, he felt lonely at the top.
That's why he wanted to become a teacher at our alma mater – to guide the next generation, to make change where he knew he could no longer do it alone.
One night, even though the busy streets of Tokyo were slowing down into a quiet haze as people retreated for the night, we didn't feel like parting ways yet. We ended up at a bar. How funny, two people who don't even drink alcohol, hanging out in a place like this; it's just because it was one of the few places that was still open so we could spend more time with each other.
Outside the bar, our lips met for the first time. We both know this was not a mistake, we were 100% sober. It felt like someone had popped a bottle of champagne, the emotions between us were flowing. One thing led to another, and we ended up staying the night in a hotel nearby.
Stolen kisses and whispered confessions of love were shared throughout the night. The attraction was undeniable, and it felt like we just had to make up for lost time. That was a night we could never forget.
The following morning, tangled in hotel sheets and each other's arms, we both came to an agreement — this is only between us. Thinking about the world we were in, it was for both our sakes, especially with someone of his status in jujutsu society. He would never forgive himself if anything happened to me because of him.
It was our little secret.
We were really good at keeping it; mainly because we tried to picked missions where we wouldn't end up working with each other. I'm glad we thought the same, it would be cute to work alongside each other, but we'd be even more distracted about each other's safety, and that's a high risk in our line of work.
Regardless, distance makes the heart grow fonder, right? However, due to his job as a teacher in Tokyo now, he isn't taking up as many missions as he used to, so making dates are much easier.
Time apart has always made me look forward to our planned rendezvous; I know he does, too. That smile he has when he first sees me surfaces whenever he's only with me. I can tell, whenever we're together, he temporarily forgets about his worries and focus on just us.
During these moments, I'd like to think that to the public, he is Gojo Satoru - Strongest Sorcerer of the modern era.
To me, he's my beloved Satoru.
~
Over some time, my job as a sorceress has built a small but solid reputation for both my family name and me. Who knew that the famous Zenin clan would one day catch wind of my cursed technique and take an interest in me?
Out of nowhere, the Zenin clan sent a marriage proposal for me and one of their potential future heirs – Naoya Zenin – to be wed. I barely knew the guy, and it was probably the first I've heard of him.
Without another thought, I sent a response to turn down the proposal. Little did I know, I made a mistake, because apparently in this world, no one says no to a Zenin.
