rach

sharing slices writer, student, socially nonexistent sharingorangeslices.weebly.com

[sharingorangeslices]

Sharing Orange Slices

I came up with the name Sharing Orange Slices when I was reading the now-famous poem The Orange by Wendy Cope. 

"At lunchtime I bought a huge orange- The size of it made us all laugh. I peeled it and shared it with Robert and Dave- They got quarters and I had a half.

And that orange, it made me so happy, As ordinary things often do Just lately. The shopping. A walk in the park.  This is peace and contentment. It's new. 

The rest of the day was quite easy.  I did all the jobs on my list  And enjoyed them and had some time over.  I love you. I'm glad I exist."

Before I read Cope's simple yet meaningful words, I never considered the impact of how something as simple as giving half of an orange to someone has the ability to be. I never realized how sharing an orange, or sharing a piece of myself to someone I love, could be healing. Sharing orange slices is giving someone else parts of yourself that you didn't even know existed. 

I wrote in my journal "In 15 years, I hope I'm living in a white two-story house with two cats and a dog. I hope one of the rooms has yellow ducks painted on the walls, in another I hope there's bright yellow flower's. I hope on Saturday's I sit in the backyard eating half of an orange. I hope I peel it carefully, pulling the all the white pieces off. I hope I save the other half for someone I love. I hope in 15 years I'll never have to eat an orange by myself." I still see myself in that backyard 15 years from now, and I still hope I don't eat the whole orange. 

But, it's not 15 years from now. Now, I don't have a white two-story house. I have one cat and no dogs. But I have a few people I trust to give the other half of my orange.

(Post also found on sharingorangeslices.weebly.com)

[sharingorangeslices]

Planning, following through

I have an unwavering love of planning. It comes easy. Following through is the hard part. 

I have about half a million empty planners, notebooks, documents, etc… Anything that can be used to formulate a plan to navigate the messiness of life, relationships, work…I have a blank one. 

It’s not that I don’t want to follow through on the carefully crafted, chaotic plans I’ve made in my head, I truly do. But the thought of putting myself out there, revealing to people that I do care about them and myself and my future and their future and our future together…that’s the part that gets me. 

Take this blog for example. I set myself a simple and clear plan, write a few times a week, and publish every other day.

 Have I done that? Absolutely not. 

This blog, iti ne, is already my pride and joy. It’s something I’ve built myself, with no help, and it will forever be part of me. 

But the thought of people I know, people I love, getting a glimpse inside my brain terrifies me to no end. 

But I didn’t think about that when planning and coming up with ideas for this blog. So I published it, with only two pieces written. 

I haven’t written anything since I launched the blog. Some would say it’s writer’s block, I would say it’s an empty mind. 

I feel like whenever I think about something, I think about it too much. I think about it so much it’s all I can think about. I think about it so much it consumes my mind. I think about it so much I hate not thinking about it, I hate thinking about anything else. 

But then I forget, and pretend like nothing ever happened. Almost like I planned it. 

I’m learning that if I don’t prove to myself that I can do something, I’ll never believe that I actually can do it. 

So here I am, proving that I can be vulnerable. Proving that I can follow through. Proving that I can write. Proving that I can think clearly. 

I believe I can do it.

[sharingorangeslices]

One

Hello there! My name is Rachel and I'm starting this blog to document my last few years of teenage girlhood. 

My senior year of high school is starting soon and that not only means that I'm starting to apply to colleges, but am also going through a year of lasts in my hometown. 

My last first day of school, last (and first) homecoming dance, last times sitting in the library pretending I'm working when I'm really just running through everything that's gone wrong in my life for hours on end...that one I'm not going to miss so much. 

I'm also writing this blog to show that I can actually go through with something that I'm passionate about. 

I've had so many failed ideas that I never could get off the ground out of fear of failure and embarrassment. Countless business ventures that sat there for months waiting for me to put them to use, but I never could. There was always something inside me that hesitated. 

I thought that I needed to have a million dollar company at 17, that was the only way I was getting into any colleges. But that's not anywhere near the truth. 

I'm not saying a successful business wouldn't help my chances, but I've learned over the last few months that most institutions want someone that will continue to accomplish great things during their higher education, not someone who's already accomplished more than most adults. 

The most important aspect of writing this blog for me is to show people my age that it's okay if you haven't accomplished as much as you could have by now. There are so many experiences that we go through that prevent us from reaching exceptionality. Poor mental health, poor circumstances, lack of support, etc...

Don't blame yourself for something you've never had or have never been able to do. We're just kids. 

(Post also found on sharingorangeslices.weebly.com)