Shark

Quickest draw this side of the sea Reblog haven Check pinned for art account

[sharkshooter]

Art Blog

I don't want to false advertise so here's a link to my actual art account

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟𓆝 𓆟

ART ACCOUNT HERE

[tpwrtrmnky]

if you go on tumblr dot com and say some variation of "they should have [thing that clearly exists] BUT [twist that's crucial for the post to make sense]" you get a bunch of responses like "this already exists, it's called [the thing, without the twist]" and "this entirely new concept intrigues me, but let's go one step further by completely cancelling out the twist."

[cuintuar]

I don't know what's worse between that and the people the just go "hear me out: take on [well established cornerstone of a genre] BUT! [twist that was already the whole point of the original].

[tpwrtrmnky]

They should do Alien but it's about the horror of unwanted pregnancy

[prokopetz]

There's also a third category of responses that are like "this already exist, it's called [not even the thing upon which the twist was proposed]".

(Some of the really ambitious ones go as far as to insist that the thing with the twist already exists, then name a piece of media which is in fact the exact opposite of both the thing and the twist, which is actually kind of fascinating in a "taking a true-or-false exam and getting every answer wrong" kind of way.)

[seat-safety-switch]

Things have gotten so P.C. nowadays that you can't even call a forklift a forklift. Suddenly, every piece of "power lifting equipment" in your shop needs a special name. Even the mutant bullshit like telehandlers don't want to be called something cool like zoom-booms anymore.

The other day, the intern and I are out at Subway. Van saying "lift trucks" comes by. Picture on the side? You guessed it. Forklift.

"Skip," my intern explains - I don't like to be called boss, and he's nice and doesn't do that - "that's what the manufacturers want us to call them now. A forklift is too reductive, obscures nuance. Imagine if you had a huge shop full of these things, you'd need to know the difference between a reach truck and a stacker."

He makes an excellent point, which I admit by silently chewing on my Mesquite Chicken Power Bowl. I have ordered it meticulously, in order to accommodate my unique dietary needs. Some people think that's unimportant, and I should just get one of the combos and not explain myself to the Sandwich Artist every time. They're wrong, it's critical that I be recognized for who I am. Safer for everyone, too.

Even though it draws so much embarrassment when I misname the things, I just can't get over how every forklift insists on its own special name. My grandfather never had to put up with that kind of nonsense. He'd just get out there in the morning, lift up a car with whatever he had on the jobsite, and steal the catalytic converter. Then he'd go to the bar, and sob in the bathroom for a couple of hours at home by himself without ever explaining to any of us what was going on. Probably saw all this coming.

[cavegirlpoems]

early magic card: Dawn Hawk late-stage magic card: Hubert Farnsworth, Brilliant Inventor (tm)

early yugioh card: Cabbage Warrior late-stage yugioh card: Twilight Memnosinner Exhuvia

early pokemon card: Diglet late-stage pokemon card: Diglet ZZZ+

[riotb0nes]

🫀

[bjurnberg]

Kneading bread dough is the most grounding thing for me. So I decided to make some rolls to relieve some stress and make something nice.

@stealingyourbones has made some delightful food abominations, which taught me I can replace the water in bread with almost any liquid.

So I tried Miso.

The yeast loved it and frothed up super fast. Mixing miso broth with the egg and oil smelled funky. The dough didn’t rise any fluffier than usual but the texture feels good. Then I decided to roll in some black garlic and green onion. I’d add nori crumbled up but I ran out.

Now we let it bake.

[bjurnberg]

Holyshitumaioishiiii

This is amazing. It tastes like if miso soup was solid. The flavor is immaculate. It’s just missing the nori flavor. I can add that next time because I am 100% making this again.

[bjurnberg]

WAIT I HAD FURIKAKE IN THE CUPBOARD!!!!

This is what perfection tastes like.

[bjurnberg]

Yes! I love sharing recipes! @lady-jeleania

Here’s my Gma Vesta’s hamburger bun recipe:

1 Tbsp yeast

1/2 cup warm water (miso broth)

- mix together and let it froth up

1 1/2 cup warm water (miso broth)

1/2 cup sugar

1 1/2 tsp salt

1 egg

1/4 cup olive oil

- mix all together, then add frothy yeast

5 1/2 - 6ish cups flour

- mix in slowly with a fork until it’s hard to stir with the fork, then stir together with hands until it stops sticking to your skin when you rub your hands together.

- knead the dough about 10min until it starts pushing back (it gets springy)

Let the dough rest for 30min.

(I make a redneck proof box by microwaving a cup of water and quickly replacing the water with the dough bowl and shutting the door to give it a warm place to nap. Do not microwave the dough itself by reflex.)

Roll out the dough and add any flavors you like. For the miso soup bread I chopped up a couple black garlics, and a handful of green onion. Roll it up like cinnamon rolls, cut into 12, and roll each into a ball shape.

Stick in a greased 9x13 casserole dish and let the dough rise to double size. (About 40min-1hr depending on how warm your kitchen is.) (the redneck proof box won’t fit my casserole dish so I stick the rolls on top of the oven while it preheats with a dish towel over it.)

Preheat the oven to 350 and when the dough looks nice and squishy bake it for 20min.

You can brush butter on top if you want. That would look pretty and help a sprinkling of furikake stick after you pull it out of the oven. If you wanna up the miso taste you can also spread a very thin layer of miso paste in before you roll it up with the other fillings. I’m gonna try that next time.

Bake! Eat! Enjoy! Knead all your frustrations into the bread then cleanse it with fire! Lemme know how yours turn out 💕🍀✨🥖

[redstonedust]

learning languages is fun because in some areas youll be like "oh wow theres one word for this thing thats covered by 20 different words in english? thats so easy and convinient!" and then in other areas you'll be like "what the fuck do you mean you use different numbers depending on what kind of object youre counting. im going to kill myself."

[draconym]

i would rather see the information for an event handwritten in sharpie on a paper towel than see another AI generated flyer

[ghostfiish]

Not only was I the only one who ended up getting a ticket for my particular screening of the Backrooms... but also, besides the concessions staff, the entire theater was completely empty

I think I may have had the most appropriate viewing experience possible

[shotofchinaco]

Brian McFadden: Is Google Cooked? (via Daily Kos)

[redstonedust]

do most people actually have a thing in their brain that tells them to drink water before their mouth goes dry and they have a headache. is that real. i have been told that headache is not supposed to be the primary sign of being thirsty but that sounds fake to me.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

WAIT did I never tell tumblr about the haunted space waterpark hotel

[dragon-in-a-fez]

in January 2018, I spent a couple of days in the town of Hutchinson, Kansas for work. I rolled into town and stopped at what appeared, from the outside, to be a normal motel just off the highway.

it was not.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I should add that I did not see a single other guest the entire time I was there, which intensified the whole vibe.

[headspace-hotel]

There is at least one thing to do in kansas

[preludeinz]

there is only one reason to go to kansas

[redstonedust]

im bad to argue with because i have jesters blood if you misintepret me i'll just go along with it. when i was a teenager i was trying to explain the concept of the heterosexual default to someone and they were like "so you think everyone should become bisexual?" and i was like. what the hell sure. lets have legally enforced bisexuality. i'll die on a hill for the bit dont fuck with me.

[iapislazuli]

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

[iapislazuli]

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

[hyaha-ha-ha]

Dinner time! 🐟

[dogpuppy]

[snegich]

My art from 2023. I'll be posting some of my older pictures soon to fill up my feed.