dickmilk

a million sea men appeared from the long black submarine as it emerged from the entangling black ropes

[just-shower-thoughts]

If anti-smoking companies were successful they would be putting themselves out of business

[shittyidea]

Take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time

[tastefullyoffensive]

Truly inspiring. (via moonsmoothie)

[shashwatp-blog]

[rialxoan]

[maderadearquitecto]

Thermochromic table by Jay Watson

[babyseraphim]

imagine banging someone on that table

[captain-snark]

imagine being home alone and seeing imprints on that table

[morbidamusement]

noooooo stop

[sevey6]

Imagine having a friend sit at that table for a long while, but when they get up there’s no imprints at all.

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

What if you got up after trying to console a crying friend, and found that you had no imprints… and they were crying because they missed you?

[gammywank]

[shittyidea]

Putting water wings on your child’s ankles instead of their arms

[k1mkardashian]

[shashwatp-blog]

HOW

[thespoonmissioner]

[dntgetmad]

I had to post this whole thread because this is the definition of a wholesome post. 😭😂💕🔑

[americadivided-deactivated20170]

This is beyond cute and innocent. I love it 😭

[barelyfittingin]

My guy 💪

[mashallahsis-blog]

This is so cute I love it

[shashwatp-blog]

💛

[shashwatp-blog]

(Alok)

[medhavisinha-blog]

Don't litsen to them

They say she is snobbish if she doesn’t talk to them They say she is easy if she starts the conversation first They say she is lonley just because she sits and ponders alone They say she is selfish if she deciced to please her first They say she is boring if she doesn’t go out for a round of beers They say she means yes when she says no.

You know whats snobbish,easy,selfish,lonely,boring here? Them. Because they don’t know shit. And still say shit .

[shashwatp-blog]

One two three I can't rhyme

[rafael-silva]

Ryan Reynolds interviews Hugh Jackman.

[gang0fwolves-deactivated2018120]

this interview was so funny lmao

[thebest-memes]

[today-ifuckedup]

Today, I fucked up... by not dating my cousin

As with most fuck-ups, this didn’t actually happen today. It was over 9 years ago.

My mom informed me that morning that we would be having “Aunt Maggie” over. I had never met this Aunt, but there were plenty of other family members showing up out of nowhere, so I didn’t think anything of it. We spent several hours cleaning the house to prepare, and then they arrived. Aunt Maggie and her two kids, a girl around my age, and a boy several years younger. We spent the whole day playing, as kids do, while my mom and my aunt talked. Eventually, as the day was winding down, the three of us were in my room playing with legos. Aunt Maggie called to her kids, telling them it was time to go. We all came out and started saying goodbye to eachother. Before leaving, the girl came to me in the kitchen and asked me if I would go on a date with her. “No.” I said, wondering what kind of person asks their cousin on a date. Looking back, my tone of voice was about the worst it could have been, probably sending the message “I wouldn’t want to be seen in public with you.” She was visibly disappointed, and left. I went back to my room afterwards and found an unfinished message written with legos. “Will you go o” Cute, but I’m not gonna romance my cousin.

Fast forward a few months, when I found out we’re not actually related, and “Aunt” is apparently just a term of endearment.

Every time I see this girl, I’m blown away. She’s stunning, and I’m a moron.

TL;DR: Didn’t date my cousin, turns out she’s not my cousin. Kick myself in the ass daily.

Check out more TIFUs: Internet`s best fuck ups are here.

[shashwatp-blog]

Oooo, gotta burn.

[iraffiruse]