My Thoughts

This is a glimpse into my thoughts and peek into my Life

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THE CALL I DIDN’T WANT TO RECEIVE

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THE CALL I'VE BEEN WAITING ON

On Monday March 12, I received a phone call from my sister-in-law. She asked me a question. That question was, “Did you get the text I sent you”? I paused and thought for a second and said “No, I don’t think so, what was it about”.  She proceeded to tell me that she spoke with the transplant surgeon and they explained to her the donor process.  She informed me that they needed me to get in touch with the donor coordinator, so they can schedule me for the beginning process of donor testing. In my mind I was asking myself was the phone call real. You would have thought someone called me and told me I won the lottery and didn’t believe it because the chances of winning. I know that sounds crazy but for a person like me who have dreamed of donating life to someone else, this was like hitting the jackpot! As the phone call continued I remained calmed and kept my composure because I didn’t want my sister-in-law to think I was crazy but when I hung up that phone, I was jumping up and down like a little girl at Christmas time. Let me explain. I have two sisters that were diagnosed with sickle cell. My oldest sister was whom at the time also diagnosed with AML Leukemia.  She needed a bone marrow transplant and the doctors tested me and my baby brother. I was about 8 years old. The doctors along with my mom chose my brother to be the donor instead of me on the grounds that he was a male and body was stronger. Considering the relationship that my sister and I had this news was devastating. I wanted so bad to be her donor because I felt like that was going to be a way to make our bond even stronger. Nevertheless, the surgery was done and here in 2012 my sister is living a happy blessed healthy life.  Ever since then when I became 18 and able to really understand what being an organ donor was, I became one and was so happy and enthused that it was on my licensed as a heart.  I always knew I would be a donor but didn’t know who my recipient would be. When I say God works …HE WORKS IT!  Not knowing I would marry the man I did, I thank God I did. I married into a family who was as similar as mine. The only difference was it was more of us than them. They are close knit and have bonds out of this world, just like we do, and they are so family oriented just like we are. I was so happy to find that because I so longed for that in a mate and his family.  Finding out the challenges they faced through with my sister-in-law and her health was like a reminder of what my family went through with my oldest sister. It was like being a part of one big happy family. We were so relatable. I married my husband the year he became my sister-in-laws forth donor. I was granted that blessing of being able to witness and be a part of the entire process.  All this time I look back upon my sister’s health ordeal and my sister-in-laws only to realize that God was preparing me just for a time such as this. This is why I am so excited. Its finally my time. The phone call I’ve waited for finally came. Now of course we don’t know for sure because today marked the first day of my testing, but it doesn’t matter because at an early age I knew I was going to be a donor and I EXPECTED it. God knows my heart and my desires and I desire to share life with someone, just so happen that someone is one I love and already know. “LOOK AT GOD”. I ask that everyone keep us in their prayers through this entire process and we’ll keep you posted.

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Purpose Being revealed

It all started on a Sunday after church having lunch with my dear hubby.  When we sit down to have lunch or dinner, we usually spend that time talking about the kids and life in general. This particular Sunday, I had the urge to discuss the fact that Ive been laid off for 7 months and will now be returning to the work-force in 2 weeks. I was so ready to return to work but I realize while I was off how much I transformed for the better. I told him that being laid-off was something that I asked God for in so many words at the beginning of 2011 not realizing that this is how it would end.  I’m known to be such a planner and controlling when it comes to being able to try my hardest to determine the beginning and end. I’m also known to be always on the go and doing the most.  I asked God to help me in 2011 to relinquish control and just allow me to live and relax.  In June I was laid-off. The first 2 hours of getting that news was filled with tears and the continuous quote of “I don’t understand”. My plans that day were to go to down town Baton Rouge and enjoy “Live After Five” with my hubby.  Within the last hour of my 2 hours of crying I called the only one who I knew I needed to hear from during that time….my hubby. Once I broke the news to him his response was “baby we’re going to be fine” Caught up in all my emotions and seeing things in the flesh….I didn’t comprehend that at the time, but just to hear it from him was enough to calm me down.  Once he gave me that #TEAMHALL pep talk I felt much better. He proceeded to say “So you still meeting me downtown”? In my mind I was still trying to figure out how in the world can he still want to go to “Live After Five” when I just got laid off! However, one thing about my hubby is that he lives by life goes on regardless of your situation.  We went downtown and had one of the best times ever.  It was just what I needed to begin going on with life.  The first 2 months were the hardest because I went from being in the field of Social Work helping everyone else to needing help myself.  I spent some days tearing up but I would catch myself remembering what my hubby told me. It was not an easy time but with prayer I was getting through.  I was so used to living a life on the go until once I had nowhere to go …I was feeling un productive and as if no one needed me.  During this entire time I was slowly realizing what God was doing.  God allowed me time to relax and take life in. He also put me in a situation where I had no control and could not plan dictate or alter the outcome of my current situation.  My 7 months laid-off was one of the best things that could have happened to me. I know that sounds crazy but It was.  Even when people who knew I was laid-off would see me would ask how I’m doing and I would respond “ I’m blessed and doing great” It would be an awkward look on their face as if  they were expecting me to respond with something negative or to be depressed.  I was never that! I was too blessed to be stressed during this time…and not to mention still am….God had our backs the entire time, my hubby nor children went without.  It’s an amazing testimony that I can’t even put it all in one blog. I fast and prayed during this time because I knew something was going on with me and I was loving it and I wanted God to continue on with it.  My marriage was good but it became great, my hubby and I were able to really spend time together. I know when I say that it may sound confusing because usually people see us always together and figure we always spend time together but it’s a difference. Yes we are always together but on the move with his comedy career or just with the kids. This particular break allowed me to slow down and really be able to focus on him and us in a way that I cant even put into words.  Let’s just say I’m even more into him now.  He’s my #1 fan and I will always appreciate and cherish the man he is.  There were triumphs that happened during this time but our blessings truly outweighed them. We were blessed in so many ways I can’t even explain. Also during this time, I found myself on Facebook every day. Before I got laid off I would be on Facebook and would post things here and there about my everyday life or just trying to be encouraging but I had time on my hand so I was able to be on there more often.  The better person that I was steady becoming longed to continue to reach out to others even more and FB allowed me to do that.  In the line of work I was in (Social Work) I came in contact with people daily and was always helping them.  Once I got laid-off I didn’t have that opportunity as much.  Facebook was there so I begin to use it for what I was known to do….helping others.  As I was going through my transformation God was using me and speaking through me.  I posted everyday something positive and woke up with that goal in mind.  A lot of times I was speaking to myself and helping myself heal as well.  I even would get responses like “why you always post about you and your hubby on facebook”  “why do you post stuff about your family life on facebook.” My response would be… Hey, if I’m helping one then I know I’m succeeding.  What those few people didn’t know was the inboxes I would get on FB saying that they appreciate my post and to continue on posting because I was either helping their marriage or them as a person.  That is my desire! To allow God to use me for His purpose and get the glory through and past this entire situation.  Fast forwarding to now and finishing that conversation I was having with my hubby on that Sunday, I told him that I know I was about to re-enter the workforce first day being February 22 but I was going to do it different.  I desire to continue being an inspiration to women and us to marriages.  He suggested that I extend what I’m already doing by creating a blog and expanding on my thoughts.  I thought to myself will I have time to do that, but realizing that I’m doing things different this time around realizing what my purpose is…God will allow me to have time to do whatever is required of me to fulfill my purpose. So this starts the beginning of my blogging.  I’m excited and want to continue to have this excitement about sharing with you! Thank you for reading and hope you will come back to continue to read and receive. Be blessed

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