Can You Feel My Heart?

Shawn Pearson | 26 | Head of Finances and Stock Broker at Annie's Magazine

[celebsondastreet-blog]

[bonniepatterson]

I hate it when people come over and try to talk when you’re having a coffee. Like honey, I’m having coffee, go away.

[shawnpearson]

Some things never change, huh?

[9reeneyes]

[fyeahshialabeouf]

[shawnpearson]

When we were just kids it felt like we were living on borrowed time, twiddling our thumbs until we got shuffled around from family to family into the arms of people who would never sound like home. Growing up with my mom and dad for the few years I did I remember how home was for me. It was white daisies in the kitchen window, and my mother young and beautiful waking up at four am because my dad was late again. She'd bake well into the morning and when I'd wake up the house smelled like pam no stick pan grease, and burnt cookies..they're still my favorite to this day. Home was my dad coming in smelling like booze and red vines with post cards from where ever he had been..I never thought much about it every time he brought cards from Canada...I still have them all. Then one morning I woke up and home was a hole in the wall where a frying pan was thrown, my fathers bags packed and the sound of my mother frantically pacing from one of her room to another. Shawn I'll never forget the sound a gun makes when the trigger is pulled and how when a person dies it's not always peaceful and their eyes don't always close. I was afraid that would be all I would know for the rest of my life. I mean when I got into the foster home where I met you I heard them talking, a little girl with night terrors is hard to place. My situation was - difficult. Than I met you, and certain things started to come easy again. It was strange we hadn't even spoken yet and I already knew I wanted to be a part of everything you were. Over time I began to love the taste of strawberry cupcakes, and the way my knees stung when I swung to high and fell into the rock gardens. The sound of your voice telling me I could fly, and you became the person who kissed my skinned knees and from skinned knees to my lips you were my first in so many ways. You were my first realization of what home was meant to be, sweet fleeting kisses, words of encouragement, swinging towards the sun even when the risk was higher than we realized and never really saying Goodbye. Goodbye means forgetting, and so I just want to say, see you later Shawn. I hope you find everything you've been searching for and when you do I hope you call me to tell me that you've relearned how to love. See Shawn, I've always been certain I didn't meet you just for nothing, and now I know you saved me and because of you I've never given up. I love you, I'll miss you- please be good Shawny.

Love always, Roni 

[alix-abramovic]

  You know you love it.

I’m really going to miss you Shawn. Seriously.

[shawnpearson]

You're not gonna cry on me are you?

[reed-emerson-blog]

  I’m gonna miss your smug face around here, Pearson.

[shawnpearson]

I'm gonna miss you too, Emerson.

[bonniepatterson]

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[shawnpearson]

[alix-abramovic]

I better, or I will hunt you down and punch your precious junk.

[shawnpearson]

Kinky.

[bonniepatterson]

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[shawnpearson]

1

[bonniepatterson]

[bonniepatterson]

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[shawnpearson]

[fyeahshialabeouf]

[bonniepatterson]

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[shawnpearson]

[shawnpearson]

Shawn, 

I heard that you were heading out to travel the world... oh, come on, how cliche can you get? We all know you're just going to go to beaches of Rio or the French Riviera to get drunk and scope out hotties. I'm teasing - well, only a little bit because you probably are gonna get drunk and sleep with a bunch of hot people, lucky boy. 

When I first met you, I was a mess. I was freshly dumped and moping all over the city and you came along and snapped me out of it. We danced to your records and watched the sunrise and all that really lame stuff, but... you were the first person who reminded me that I could be happy again. My heart broken, but you showed me that it wasn't the end of the world. Things happen, and we move on and rebuild. Life doesn't stop just because we've had a bad day. 

I love you. You're my family now. I am so proud to know you, and get to call you the uncle to my daughter. The world is a beautiful place, and you deserve to see it. I know it's been a rough year, with Remy and Roni and all the other messes in between, but just like when you taught me to carry on, now you have to do it for yourself - don't be afraid to be happy and in love again. You've earned it. 

Alright, now I'm crying. I just wanted you to know that no matter what happens, there's a home for you here. Write to me all the time, call me every three days at the most. Tell me everything you've done, and I'll tell Daisy all about her uncle Shawn and how he saved me with his Otis records. 

See you around, Pearson. 

Always,

Cam 

[bonniepatterson]

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[shawnpearson]

That's what most girls say when I'm about to go down on them, babe.

[bonniepatterson]

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[shawnpearson]

Mmm it's definitely going to be a struggle.