g h o s t w r i t . h e r

navigating the love crusade 🦋

[she-whispers]

Julie T. – Medium

Read writing from Julie T. on Medium. 3AM spilled ink writer who has serendipitously fallen in love with life while on my journey of self-inventory, mental health, and self-love.

Trying out a new platform. :) 

[she-whispers]

3AM spilled ink writer who has serendipitously fallen in love with life while on my journey of...

HELLLOO!!!!!!!!! 

I am SO ecstatic to announce that I’ve finally made a new blog. It’s been something I had been itching to do for about a year now. She-theory is where I will be writing about my journey of self-inventory, self-love and discovering the importance of mental health. My experience here as she-whispers has changed my life in ways I could not give enough thanks to. From discovering incredible friends that I still keep in contact with and uncovering my passions for writing, one trauma at a time.

I really hope you’ll join me! 

[wordsnquotes]

The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.

David Foster Wallace, Infinite Jest (via wordsnquotes)

[wordsnquotes]

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (via wordsnquotes)

[she-whispers]

I remember our last car ride together to the airport. I was six years old and you told me you loved me and that you were sorry. I didn't understand at the time. I didn't understand what choosing my mother meant or how heavy the burden of giving up your child because it was what was best for them could be. You had given me this pog I found in the backseat and it was the last thing I ever had from you. I remember saying goodbye, not knowing it would be the last time I'd hear from you for another decade of my life. I tried to find your number but eventually it became easier to tell everyone I didn't have a dad than to accept the possibility you just didn't want to talk to me. It was my freshman year of high school and Wendy tells me you had gotten in contact with her. I don't know what I felt but I remember being so afraid and angry and full of excitement but the moment I heard your voice, all I could do was cry. I think we had spent two hours just crying and trying to talk in between the hiccups and tears. You spent so much time apologizing and asking me to understand you and sometimes I wish I spent less time trying to forgive and focused that effort into getting to know you better. We got lost in the awkward silences and the years that settled in between but I loved you, I just didn't know how. You dealt with cancer for six years and spent every waking moment fighting for your life to see your son grow a little more, to take him on the trips I wish I was able to take with you. Six years of time that I didn't know how to take advantage of. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry I didn't know how to love you better. I'm sorry I was selfish and awkward and resented the fact that I didn't get to know you the way anyone else could - but I was your little girl and you endured the ache of losing me, too. I just wished I had a little bit more time to be a better daughter in whatever window of time I had. I love you, Ba. Tonight I miss you in ways I don't know how to deal with.

[she-whispers]

11:24 | [revised] This was taken on my 8th birthday. A year before everything in my life split into two halves between my first years with my dad and the rest of my life without much of him. On this day, I was told I cursed myself because I cried on my birthday, but believe it or not, it held true. This is a letter to the eight year old in me who had to experience disconnect at such an unforgiving age. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ There will be a time (like today) when you will have so much to be thankful for. You have your mom who is your hero and loves you more than you will ever know, your cousin whom you will grow to look up to as your true che che, your friends who will be the people you explore life with, in its intricacies and trauma, you will do it together and survive anything that’s ahead your path; love - but learn to trust yourself enough to trust others. That’s essential and it will feel like you’ve taken a breath for the first time when it happens. Your co workers will become family away from home. Essentially every person in your life will be a blessing. So to start this off, I just wanted to say - thank you, for all that you are and bravely strive to become. You inspire me. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀You will experience defining moments of perseverance and faith. Meeting some of the most unique and incredibly human beings along the way as you learn deeper truths to understanding the world in its subtleties; in the languages we don’t explore enough and the ache of human nature and the beauty of it all. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I write this with a full heart and belly filled with gratitude. I have fallen in love with life and becoming best friends with my self-critic was the best decision I had ever made. Be patient and kind on yourself. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I love you.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ Happy thanksgiving.🍁 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 🦋 (at Thankful Heart Kitchen)

[she-whispers]

It’s incredible, the power of intuition and its disconnect with the heart’s desires when it becomes unaligned. For the past few months I had been hanging on a thread of wants/needs but there was an itch that distrusted it’s intuition and there were times I knew, the future had different plans for me.

But it was still worth the pursuit of fearless attempts at curiosity. The new moon in scorpio revealed all layers of truth in an extended conversation that lasted twenty minutes but has been an ongoing soul reminder since July. Surprisingly so, I am not hurt nor am I disappointed in the outcome because I have faith in the cosmic alignment of my path.

I have regained my power. My agency over my life and my identity. I am refocused and reenergized towards my passions and purpose. I am proud of my growth - I am honored by its capacity to break apart and still navigate towards the light.

My heart, I see you now; purer than ever. Freeer than ever. Stronger than ever.

[thequotejournals]

The more you try to avoid suffering, the more you suffer, because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you, in proportion to your fear of being hurt. The one who does most to avoid suffering is, in the end, the one who suffers most.

Thomas Merton (via wordsnquotes)

[wordsnquotes]

The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind.

William James  (via wordsnquotes)

[she-whispers]

Tumblr,

You are my heart and soul. The origin story and my greatest confidant. I've met such incredible souls and has the privilege of getting to know so many people on a personal level as we connect in ways that differ than the friends we had outside of this world.

I am now venturing into a new journey and trying my hand at vlogging where I will be talking about things very much similar to all the topics I've written about here on this platform.

I would very much LOVE and be honored to have you guys on this ride with me.

Join me on:

Facebook

Instagram

Website and YouTube channel coming soon.

Love, love, love you all.

[she-whispers]

It's been a long and mind bending journey to discover the true sense of freedom, to finally be able to shrug off the burdens of self-fulfilling prophecies and expectations. The war that our souls fight through to find meaning to so much of our suffering has everything to do with the Ego. Ego says "I expect". Love says "I accept". This video was like writing a letter to my younger self, the girl who did not understand why she felt victim to her own heart. The girl who loved relentlessly and accepted hurt ten fold, who made excuses for people and accepted conditions as payments of love. It was the moment I asked the universe for the truth that it finally said "darling, look within you. You painted these walls with your bare hands and decorated your space with pain. Why?" So I moved towards love and found peace in having complete faith in myself. Repainting the walls with vibrancy and abundance, remodeled the decor with gratitude and resilience. I became my best resident and created a home within myself. ••• Full video to be posted soon. Stay tuned.

[metaphorformetaphor]

Hell somehow exists in the distance Between the remembered and the forgotten. Hell somehow exists in the distance Between what happened and what never happened

Jack Spicer, from “Imaginary Elegies,” My Vocabulary Did This to Me (Wesleyan University Press , 2008)  

(via

metaphorformetaphor

)

[shareaquote]

Not everyone is passionate about seeking truth. Some are content just to hang loose.

Bruce Adler (via wordsnquotes)

[wordsnquotes]

serotinal

(sɪˈrɒt n l, ˌsɛr əˈtaɪn l, adjective) Serotinal is the most romantic and beautiful word pertaining to this time of year, alluding to or occurring in late summer. For example, the breezy, cool nights, the leaves on the ground, the earlier occurrence of the sunset and back to school season are all serotinal manifestations. They are the beginning markings of autumn in the form of summer nostalgia.   (via wordsnquotes)

[thelovejournals]

And when you choose a life partner, you’re choosing a lot of things, including your parenting partner and someone who will deeply influence your children, your eating companion for about 20,000 meals, your travel companion for about 100 vacations, your primary leisure time and retirement friend, your career therapist, and someone whose day you’ll hear about 18,000 times.

Tim Urban, Wait But Why - How to Pick Your Life Partner (via thelovejournals)

[wordsnquotes]

Empathy isn’t just listening, it’s asking the questions whose answers need to be listened to. Empathy requires inquiry as much as imagination. Empathy requires knowing you know nothing. Empathy means acknowledging a horizon of context that extends perpetually beyond what you can see.

Leslie Jamison, The Empathy Exams: Essays (via wordsnquotes)

[wordsnquotes]

Eventually soulmates meet, for they have the same hiding place.

Robert Brault (via wordsnquotes)