Why this hurts so much
Tonight's episode hurt, and I'm going to try to explain why this was so much more than a slap to the face.
This isn't just about a ship. It goes beyond that. It cuts to the core of our experiences as shippers, particularly those of us who have shipped non-canon queer couples. We have been put down and belittled, labeled as crazy, weird, and disgusting for daring to see two people who clearly love and adore each other explore the possibilities of a romantic bond. We've been told that our desires are taboo and that we should just "get over it." We've been told by 911 show runners in particular that Buddie fans are just misinterpreting the story being told. These constant messages only reinforce the notion that gay relationships are something to be hidden and ashamed of.
As a queer person myself, I understand the pain of growing up without seeing myself represented in the media. It left me feeling isolated and asking myself if I was defective. However, shows like 911 have given me so much hope and have helped me come to terms with who I am. They allowed me to imagine a world where my feelings were valid, where my love was celebrated, and where I could find myself in the stories being told.
With that in mind, I want to acknowledge the existing queer representation on the show. Hen and Karen, Josh and Michael--these characters and their stories have and continue to deeply resonate with so many of us and I think we all genuinely appreciate the gift of having these characters. However, Eddie and Buck's journey is something extraordinary, something that represents so many of our realities and something that could revolutionize queer representation in media going forward.
Imagine a story of two young men growing up in homes where certain expectations were placed upon them to be providers, to bury their emotions, to stifle their hopes and dreams, all in pursuit of conforming to societal norms. Imagine a story where these two men find their own paths towards a traditionally masculine profession and end up finding a loving and accepting family and a place where people from all walks of life are equally lifted up and respected (something that is often not the case in reality).
Imagine these two men find peace, support, and a love they have never experienced before with each other. Imagine the strength of their bond as they become partners in work and in life, the fights and hurts they endure. Imagine them screaming and crying over each other's broken bodies, understanding the fear and pain of living life without one another.
Imagine that these two men build a family together. Imagine one of them is a single father and finds that their partner is one of the only people in the world they could possibly trust with their heart and soul in the form of their child, and imagine the father enshrining that trust and love in law.
Now, imagine that these two men finally see the truth in their relationship--a truth that has been unspoken throughout their time together but remains apparent through their actions. A truth that transcends societal expectations and norms. A truth that declares their love for one another as real and meaningful.
Buddie may have originally been planned as platonic, but they were not written that way, which is why this episode was much more than a slap to the face. It was a punch that said "you're crazy for seeing love where it was written."
Season 6 wrote Buddie with more romantic and domestic undertones than ever before and it feels like a betrayal to disrespect the bond that has been developing between them since day 1.
So to the writers, I implore you to understand the impact of your decisions. Of course, not every ship can become canon, but for the love of god, don't undermine the emotional connection you've nurtured between Buck and Eddie for 5 seasons. Don't discard the authenticity and depth that their relationship holds and please understand the pain we feel as you strip away their journey without proper resolution and without letting their story evolve and flourish into what it was written to be.
With all due respect, go fuck yourself for this, and I hope to god this gets fixed in season 7.