Well after not posting anything for about a year, I figured I’d better put something down. No, I’m not dead. I’m doing ok really, physically at least. Thanks to everyone who sent notes asking if I was still alive, I appreciate it and sorry I didn’t have the guts to check and respond.
Frankly, I have been unsure what to do with myself lately. It’s getting to be a problem. I’m afraid to try to make my work into a living because of my history, I’m afraid to try to monetize my hobby because of the current political climate, I’m afraid to move on to serious projects for similar reasons. I’m just kind of wasting away in a state of creative paralysis, trying to kick down a wall while a wrecking ball hangs nearby along with a set of keys for the crane. I freaking hate it.
But I really want to draw again, to create and study. I want to make a serious effort to stop hiding, maybe open up commissions, get PMDU back on track again, I don’t know. My real life situation is already getting bleaker by the day and if I can’t feel comfortable making use of my only somewhat useful talent, or support myself and others I care about, then what even is the point of me?
I’m someone who likes the freedom of fantasy and the ability to dream and explore thoughts and concepts that I would never want to see in real life. I like beautiful and wholesome things and celebrating things of a positive image just as much as pondering dark and unwholesome things, being able to fantasize about taboos, things I know are wrong and revolting, edgy and purposefully provocative, but emerge safe in the knowledge that none of this needs to impact who I am as a person or have any bearing in the real world, as long as I strive to be a good human being like anyone should.
There’s been increasingly loud and sensitive people in the fandom lately who’ve been going out of their way to bully artists who draw ‘problematic’ content, particularly on Twitter (and people wonder why I don’t have a Twitter yet) but likely other places as well. While some of the artists under scrutiny have indeed committed actual crimes against real human beings, many of them haven’t done anything more than draw content that these people find disagreeable, and yet they’re still being hounded with the same vitriol as the ones who’ve actually done awful things in real life.
I cannot stand it when people try to force political ideals onto others, and I hate bringing politics, gender identity stuff, propaganda, etc into my work. It’s honestly ridiculous that I have to make this post at all, but still I feel the need to clarify that no, I don’t draw what I draw because I’m trying to condone or ‘normalize’ anything problematic. I’m not trying to groom people to accept rape or pedophilia in society. But the thing is, I can find this stuff conceptually titillating in fiction, and so can a lot of other well-adjusted and perfectly functional adults, if it’s happening to non-human CHARACTERS, in a fictional universe with alien laws in an alien setting. I have zero sexual attraction to real life human children and would never endorse any kind of real life sexual abuse or harassment, and yes, that includes bullying an artist over social media because they have the ability to separate fantasy from reality. It is also not my responsibility as an artist to ensure that the viewer isn’t traumatized by my work. There are thousands upon thousands of unique ways a person can react to stimulus, and an artist should not have to account for all of them. It is the responsibility of the viewer, or their guardians, to ensure that they are mentally stable enough to seek out and view this work, and their responsibility as a human being not to take concepts in fantasy into the real world in a way that would obviously harm or negatively impact others.
So with all that said, if anyone thinks I’m a scumbag for drawing NC art or occasionally cub, or objectifying homosexuals or whatever else might cause offense, please for goodness’s sakes do yourself a favor and don’t look at the stuff that’s going to upset you. I’m going to make an effort to separate my content into thematic categories between specific alts from now on, so that my viewers have more control over what they want to see, and how they see it. Really hardcore stuff will probably go on a separate account or be regulated to Inkbunny, whereas the more mainstream porn is staying here. My serious and SFW projects will be posted separately under a different name as well, likely Chillysundance from here on out. More info on the others after I’ve decided what to do.
This topic and the culture surrounding it exhausts me, and hopefully not too much else will need to be said on the matter. Thanks to everyone who’s enjoyed my work up until now, I’ll keep creating for you guys one way or another. And for those who don’t - I at least hope some basic level of understanding and tolerance can be achieved.