I’d like to be an artist, I’d like to be an actress, and I’d like to be a model.. These three things have always held my attention in some capacity over the years, but in my pursuit of them I have realized that the accomplishment or success in attaining them does not bring me joy if I find it in a way that is not pleasing to the being that I am… If I say yes to a project that I am not lead to, if I attain success in a way that does not add depth to me somehow, I find that I am unsatisfied. So why, after many years of this learning do I still question the voice in my mind that tells me yes or no? What I would like to be is less important... the value lies in who I’d like to be.
My Life is a Blank Canvas : An autobiography of a 27 year young woman.
I started listening a lot to Abraham Hicks on youtube a few months ago. Since then, my positive outlook on life has become more positive. I say my positive outlook, because I have always been the one who tries to shape any situation positively… but I think I was better at saying it than understanding it. At least when it came to myself.
So, over the last few months, I have been focusing on building myself up. Understanding that my imperfections are perfect. My body… my mind.. my desires. & my habits. That they are all okay. Even good. I noticed the biggest difference this past week. Monday was the first day back to life/goals after a week and a half of wedding festivities and binge drinking in Las Vegas. Normally, I would be depressed for weeks because I was failing at life, I was getting “fat” (a term everyone seems to use when they are feeling slightly bloated), and I was not accomplishing any of the goals I set for myself, but this time was different. I was in a great mind space when I left and I made every effort to stay there by forgiving my fun (God forbid that we enjoy ourselves too regularly) and dismissing my self lectures whenever my mind tried to creep into responsibility mode. With a snap of a finger, I was able to jump back into a forward momentum upon my return. It felt really lovely…. so I plan on keeping up with that love thyself shit.
I had another breakthrough in life this week…. actually, I had multiple breakthroughs in life, but I’ll keep most of them to myself.. for now. Anyway, I began a portrait of Candice Swanepoel, a supermodel that I look up to (even though she’s the same age as me), and I realized that I could draw her standing on top of one of my favorite things….. a dragon. It was one of the most exciting revelations I’ve had in a long time…. because the only thing I love more than anything (outside of family and friends of course), is FANTASY. I saw this complete picture that I hadn’t even begun to draw yet, and I realized that is exactly what was happening in my life. At the young age of 27 I am only just beginning to have clarity on who I am and the things that I truly want in my everyday life, and even though I didn’t begin filling my canvas with those things at an earlier age, thats okay, because now its blank, and it has the potential to become whatever I’d like.
I often have profound Shelby thoughts that only make sense in my own mind… it normally happens when I’m on shrooms, but this could be an exception. If so, my apologies.
xoxo
s.e.
Photographs by Priscilla Bouillon : Instagram @prisca130
Its honestly incredible how quickly years pass by… Two years ago, our wedding had just passed and we were actively planning our escape of travels. Now, we’re nearly settled in the city or Los Angeles, a place I could have never guessed would become so quickly familiar.
LA is an interesting place… and after a year of living here I have a love/hate relationship. Sometimes I just want to go out to eat and not be expected to spend $20 on a decent meal, and more often, I’d like to go to the grocery store makeup-less in my pjs without brushing my hair. Sigh. Living in an apartment isn’t ideal either, especially when you grew up in a 3,000 sq foot home, on the river, with a huge yard. & then there is my constant desire to pressure wash every building I see.
but enough of the hate, because what we really need in the world is more love. I also love it here. I have this endless stream of dreams and desires that feel so alive. Everywhere I turn I find people to inspire me. Such different and unique souls living amongst each other. Its quite incredible actually. I can also drive to a beautiful location in every direction in under two hours. Like the beach, the desert, the mountains, or even vineyards.
Although planning this January doesn’t include details of driving Route 1 around Iceland, I’m just as excited about what this year will bring as I was two years ago.
Cheers to knowing you’re headed in the right direction on life's journey.
After wine tasting we made our way up the 101 towards Big Sur.
If you’ve never made the drive and live on the West Coast, I am very disappointed in you. It is beyond gorgeous and reminds you how blessed you are to be part of this little world we live in. If you don’t live on the West Coast, I can assure you its worth the journey. We camped at Big Sur Campground and Cabins. It was really beautiful there, but it was also slightly too cold and rained all night. So, I suggest arriving when the weather is warmer or driving through during the day and sleeping in one of the cutest towns that ever existed, Carmel-by-the-Sea.
My husband turned 29 this month and for his birthday I thought it would be nice to stay overnight in Santa Ynez and Big Sur.
We arrived to Gainey Vineyards around 3 o’clock on a mission to join the wine club, but pretending we only had slight interest in attempt to score some extra tastes as incentive. I doubt it made any difference. We left with four bottles and a feeling of adulthood as we dreamed ahead at a whole year of expensive wine buying. Previously, my normal go-to was a Menage a trois red blend and although I love to save money, I also find it equally important to responsibly splurge. So, Happy Birthday, love!
Next we headed to Refugio Ranch, where we continued to get sauced.... and by we I mean Kenny, because I was driving. Somehow, the two vineyards did the trick so we headed towards our home base at Flying Flags RV Resort and Camping, set up our tent, and walked straight to our favorite restaurant. If you are ever near Buellton, CA you have to try Industrial Eats. They have bomb salads and pizzas... like.. delicious... and they are reasonably priced. Plus, then you can walk down the street to Figueroa Mountain Brewing Co.
I am getting increasingly worse at taking pictures, on account of fighting the social media take over epidemic, so you’ll have to live with just a few. ;)
Vancouver is one of my favorite places. The city is adorable and walkable. There are small shops, restaurants, & bars everywhere. There is a gorgeous bike path along the water. There are markets where you can eat delicious bagels (I’m craving one as we speak). The mountains are just a drive away with beautiful hikes.. & gondolas. If Trump becomes president... this is where I’d like to move. Joking.. but not really. I’d actually love to move there anyway. <3
Minneapolis was awesome. The weather was absolutely perfect and we got to set the air mattress on the patio for sleeping. I think it may have been the first time I’ve ever slept outside without a tent, or something surrounding me. Cheers to mosquito-less balconies.
We ate at some delicious restaurants with fabulous happy hours, but my favorite part about the city was the phenomenal bike paths that could take us just about anywhere we desired. Our biking adventures led us to waterfalls, hikes, and some great bars. Kenny and I would have never known where to begin in such a big city, but thanks to our friends we got the perfect tour!
A weekend getaway led us only two hours away to a place called Joshua Tree. Aside from the cool, odd, spikey trees that give the park its name, there were plenty of trails, wide open spaces, and rocks to climb. It was the perfect weekend camping spot. Good friends and beer can obviously only add to the experience. ;)
^ Even though there were no available camp sites, you had an option to walk a mile off the road and set up anyway. :)
^ My friends are cool and jump from high places. My photography skills aren’t so bad either.
gummygunk
dededos
snowghoul
tangentwithtanner
origamiaround
2087
stormborns