[inkskinned]

i don't wanna be on my phone but i need my phone to figure out where i'm going on a walk and i need my phone to get to my audiobook and i need my phone to call my brother and i need my phone to get in touch with my friends which is fine but i don't want to be on my phone.

so i walk and that's fine and i'm using the phone in an okay-way in that moment. but sometimes i am using the phone like it is a weapon and that's stupid because no it's not. ive seen a weapon those are different this is a phone. but it's also in my hands until 2 AM and i haven't slept. at 4AM. i don't even mean to do it half the time i'm opening the phone to check the weather or to check my email which are things-that-are-okay but then i am in my phone for hours somehow, and i missed the dawn while i was on instagram. i don't even like instagram.

i don't want to be on my phone im not good at it so i try to put distance there but then i'm distancing myself from my friends. we meet up in person but my pictures are on my phone and the menu is on the phone (mon dieu) and so is venmo. so i need the phone to be with my friends and that's fine because it can record concerts and fun activities and i can take pictures of them smiling with pumpkins.

but i don't want to be on the phone because i go to look at the pictures of the pumpkins and i hate how i look in it but it's fine. and somewhere between the pumpkins and 3AM i have lost so much time. i don't even know what i'm doing on it only that i don't enjoy it any longer. it is this long blank void. forever and ever. restless like how mushrooms feel restless beside a dead body.

i don't want to be on my phone so i pick up the phone and i type into google things to do in my area and i save them to my phone and i'll need my phone to get to the tickets and i'll need my phone to book the appointment and i'll need it, i'll need it

[origami-houses]

At some point,

all the reasons why you're waiting

finally fade away.

Only now,

you're decades older

and all you have to show for it

is your fear.

- G.L. Angelone

[visual-poetry]

»i think about your death all the time« by thomas müller

[luthienne]

“I keep my hands empty for the sake of what I have had in them.”

— Antonio Porchia, from Voices (trans. W. S. Merwin)

[weusedtobegiants]

and it will never be as easy as you hope but you’ll find it is rarely as hard as you fear

Morgan Nikola-Wren, from My Dearest Hurricane: Love and Things That Looked Like It

[heavensghost]

[shelbyfxithh]

You had this road sign plastered on your heart.

“NO ENTRANCE”

But here we are again.

I’m sorry I have no where else to loiter.

No where else to park.

I’ll take the ticket if it means five more minutes.

I’ll pay the fine if it means that you’ll love me.

I’m sorry.

I know I’m not supposed to be here.

I saw the sign.

— @shelbyfxithh

[blossomfully]

Sue Zhao

[surqrised]

“I could have left but I did not. You could have stayed but you did not.”

— fckedupfray

[kiramalibu]

you cannot beg someone to love you

and i say this as someone who once

did and someone who has been

on the receiving end of someone

else’s unwavering affection

if this is a game then i suppose one’s

tolerance is a testament of just how

much you love them

i say not to beg because why should one have to?

love is the only thing

that we can all afford in this existence

so, why make it more complicated

than it has to be?

why should one pay for something

that is supposed to be free?

love // kira malibu

[surqrised]

“I know that someday you’ll be sleeping, darling. Likely dreaming off the pain.”

— La Dispute, Such Small Hands (via thoughtkick)

[written-on-polaroids]

“He hurt you, so don’t you fucking dare to apologize for being angry about it.”

—

Remeber this. (via

written-on-polaroids

)

[surqrised]

“You just have to say to yourself “I’m not willing to accept anything less for myself than what I deserve. I am smart. I am beautiful. I am a good woman, and I deserve to be happy.”

— Amari Soul

[shelbyfxithh]

[surqrised]

“If I’ve learned one lesson from all that’s happened to me, it’s that there’s no such thing as the biggest mistake of your existence. There’s no such thing as ruining your life. Life’s a pretty resilient thing, it turns out.”

— Sophie Kinsella

[surqrised]

“Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful. But not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering.”

— Paulo Coelho, By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept

[surqrised]

“When a person tells you you hurt them, you don’t get to decide you didn’t.”

— Louis C.K.