how the fuck am i supposed to format now if tumblr changed the html structure? you disappear for months and this is what happens
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@shelbyltds
how the fuck am i supposed to format now if tumblr changed the html structure? you disappear for months and this is what happens
i saw nine inch nails on friday and trent reznor responded to me when i yelled for him so naturally i will be passing away
𝙰𝙳𝙻𝙴𝚁, 𝙸𝚁𝙴𝙽𝙴 ) : that woman could rival god with her omniscience .
i don’t know how to WRITE
stardustvein
it might have been an enticing prospect to some. but may has her own large and empty house to attend to , her own staff to ‘ manage ’ — there’s the serving staff that does not serve for the estate has not seen significant company since her husband’s passing , no parties , no dinners. may keeps them on , regardless. more than she reasonably needs solely because she cannot stand the idea of casting them out into the cold. but therein lies the problem ; large , empty houses are akin to mausoleums , if she is to haunt one it might as well be her own. ‘ and if I don’t want it ?? ’ brows raise inquisitively towards her hairline , fixes him with the dark , unfathomable depths of her gaze.
there’s a purposeful movement of her body , intent on closing some of the distance he’s placed. sheets dipping lower due to a carelessness that was also purposeful , her fingertips racing along the length of his arm. ‘ where are you going ?? surely you can tell me that , at least. not that it matters , I suppose. I’m sure I can find something to keep me busy no matter where it is you’re headed. ’
unflinchingly keen on lack of acknowledgement , lack of response . head cocks , dragging deeper upon cigarette , as though it may better fuel dismissive words . sheets caress length of her legs , chest bare , open to face him . gaze lowers momentarily , survey of delicate shoulders , exposed breast . tips of fingers grace skin of calloused forearms , sensation bounding to shoulders , shoulders to neck — slight twitch , leaning into pulsating body heat . her eyes illuminated by dim light , pupils indiscernible from depths of deep brown encompassing the remaining .
abrupt movement finds a hand loosely cupping her chin , thumb sweeping length of lower lip . sharp raise of brow , physically taunting in a singular glance .
‘ no one’s going to force you . if it’s loneliness in the estate of your late husband you so desire , then it’s loneliness you shall have . ’
not a single fucking day goes by where i don’t think about this scene
golden fabric crowns tousled hair , metallic sheets embroidered in repetitive pattern . sweat slicks skin , flushed maroon of cheeks in contrast with bright blue iris . headboard supports a heaving torso , audible whistle accompanying deliberate , paced exhale . cigarette sweeps a slightly parted mouth , an obsessive ritual . back . forth . up . across . the click of metal slapping as flame arises from lighter masks the sound of strained breath , struggle to maintain steady rhythm . purposeful distance between two bodies , avoidance of touch forefront ; withdrawn into thought . aloof .
‘ i have business to attend to , may — the details of which i am unable to discuss . but should you want it , you’ll have the entirety of the house to yourself . frances will draw you up a menu ensure all that you need is taken care of . ’
spoken as nonchalant fact , vague , manner akin to boredom .
I FINISHED THE NEW SEASON AND ALL I CAN SAY IS I HAVE SO MUCH MUSE THAT I COULD EXPLODE SO PLEASE GET READY
and all my headcanons about tommy just being stoic and unrelenting even when people are begging him to be otherwise? CONFIRMED
headcanons about arthur and tommy being so close and only affectionate with each other? CONFIRMED
tommy fucking everyone over and never truly loving anyone? CONFIRMED
CONFIRMED CONFIRMED CONFIRMED
BUCKLE UP MY BUDDIES MY PALS
stardustvein.
may leans over him , flicks ash into the tray on the bedside table. then , extends it in offering to him as she considers the line of questioning. ‘ at first , it was all about how you made me feel. ’ he’d walked in , and something sparked within her. lit a fire that had gone cold so long ago , may hadn’t thought it possible to get it started again. so she’d made her father bid. stuck toes into dangerous waters , knowing full well that she’d get swept up. that she could be dragged under , snuffed out.
‘ still is , I suppose. though , it’s different now. ’ deeper than mere infatuation , or curiosity. enough to make her ready to fight to hold onto this , to him , for as long as he gives an inkling that he wants her around. the more time spent together , the less she enjoys being alone.
‘ point is , I don’t care what you do. and I don’t care how it looks. I am not just some rich woman playing at being with a gangster. I told you I have no care for my reputation , and I suspect a man such as you would know were I not speaking true. you breathed the life back into me. I don’t know how else to explain it , beyond that. I find that everything else pales in comparison. ’
where retreating would prove simpler , he leans instead into her energy — into words spoken with hushed fever . syllables remain hesitant in contrast ; to hear is not to accept . single blink and parting of pursed mouth , calculated inhale gives admission to silent comprehension . comparable to desperation is the tone of delicate voice , acute ache for reciprocation .
index and thumb pluck cigarette from manicured hands , measured inhale as eyes devour features . examine intent and bury impulsivity of emotion beating in his chest . never will the same , raw honesty be returned , for fear of appearing defenseless . exposed . head tilts , tongue sweeping maroon flesh , minuscule opening of posture .
‘ i have the ability to create a life for you that is beyond your imagination , should you wish for it . but what i do not have , is the capability to speak like you — in so many words , with so many feelings . among all the things you already know , you should also be aware , by now , that i have many dealings , requiring a great amount of attention . ’
Thomas Shelby — PEAKY BLINDERS S02E04
stardustvein.
it’s like whiplash. like when her driver hits the brake in the auto too hard and she’s left with a stiff neck in the direct aftermath. and , though this is not the first time she’s experienced this particular sort , may highly doubts it will be the last. she lets him retreat , taking his warmth with him , and pulls the blankets up higher as a result.
‘ and who said anything about doubt ?? ’ where tommy is erratic , may is steady. calm. even in the face his annoyance , hostility born of her own making , albeit an accidental one. ‘ had I doubt about extending my invitation , I assure you , I would not have brought it up in the first place , tommy. I am , however , fully aware that not everyone has as clear of a calendar as I do and the last thing I want is for you to feel obligated. ’
she sits up as well , blanket tucked beneath her arms as she shifts. moves to pluck the cigarette from between his lips and take a drag of her own. ‘ so if you believe I was trying to withdraw my invite to spare my reputation , you couldn’t be more wrong. if I cared about such things , I would have given you wide berth when first we met , thomas shelby. ’
‘ truly , I want you there far much more than I’ve let on , but begging is rather unbecoming. ’
flight or flight , typically a choice acted upon with immense ease , remains an impasse . energy expended is that of unrelenting exasperation , ill-defined taste of resentment clinging to tongue as taste of bile ; soured emotion . but coupled with negativity is hesitant acceptance . to be wanted as you are . to be known . such a concept brings the potential for vulnerability , unfamiliarity . tommy’s variable moods do not allow for dwelling . avoidance of directly addressing words that leave her throat .
‘ what is it about me you feel the need to pursue ? ’
cigarette in her mouth plumes smoke , entrancing patterns of fume . pupils dilate , fixate on movement of painted lips as reassurance spills . eyes remain still , penetrative glance . he fails to understand the intent behind the ask .
‘ i do bad things , may . i am not a good man . a wide berth would’ve been wise . but yet , here you are . naked . in my bed . with my cigarette in your mouth . why ? why do women choose men like me ? ’
does anyone else literally need music in the tone of what you’re writing in order to be able to write at all, or is that just me lmao
stardustvein.
‘ they are hardly my preferred choice of company , either. ’ a simple statement , obvious. the only company she does seem to enjoy , these days is that of the man currently sharing her bed , along with the animals housed within her stables. ‘ truly , I would rather skip the thing entirely but my father is making quite the fuss … ’ and who could blame him , really ?? with his daughter’s name in people’s mouths for all the wrong reasons , and may , doing nothing to rectify such a thing. worsening it , in fact , by merely extending the invitation. pushing her luck whilst their is still luck to push.
she hadn’t expected him to agree.
may pressed palm to chest , props herself up on an elbow in order to meet his gaze properly. as if suspecting of him some unseen trickery , a jest — not that tommy is particularly known for such things , but she feels the need to check regardless. dark gaze scanning his features intensely. ‘ I didn’t even tell you when it was — this upcoming friday. it’s short notice , I’m aware. as I said , I only found out I would be going very recently. ’
slender digits idly trace patterns against his skin. ‘ and if it’s too short , I do understand. you’re a busy man … ’
‘ if it’s too short . mm . ’
rapid irritation grips features of stern face , fingers dipping from skin . clearing of throat , reaching for gin along bedside table . intended withdrawal coupled with sudden spiteful lack of physicality .
‘ where there is doubt , there is potential for regret , eh ? and i am that potential to the company you keep . preferred or not . ’
hostile in the face of perceived rejection . cigarette brushes pursed lips in repetitive motion , silent attempt to manually exchange a look of disgust for the facade of strained indifference . as if the contact of their bodies gives signal to mutual trust , he moves away , sitting upright ; stale nicotine permeating air between them .
‘ i am a shelby . ’
work has me wanting to die but it’s fine
stardustvein.
it takes several minutes of concentrated effort for her breathing to even out , to return to some semblance of normality. head rests heavy against the bare expanse of his chest , dark curls sticking fast against skin , haphazardly falling ‘round her shoulders. an undeniable mess. ‘ there’s this charity event … I’m expected to make an appearance. ’ to drag herself from within the confines of her mausoleum and into the company of civilized society. put on a nice dress , and throw a considerable amount of money at some new hospital wing or children’s home , may can’t even be bothered to recall the precise details at the moment for they are so utterly uninteresting. watching grass grow was more appealing than making small talk with her fellow wealthy elite that would smile pleasantly to her face , then start to whisper the moment her back was turned.
she knows what they think. knows that most thought her at least mildly mad even before this particular rumor began to spread. it’s yet another thing she cannot bring herself to care about. may had outgrown them long ago.
‘ it’ll be dreadfully dull. and filled to the brim with vultures. ’ if she were trying to sell him on the idea , she’s doing quite poorly. ‘ but you could accompany me , if you wanted. ’ and perhaps that’s why she’d waited until this moment to bring it up , naked in her bed. because there’s a level of intimacy in the proposal that brings with it a certain level of dread. glad for the position of their bodies that prevents her from actually seeing his reaction.
‘ it will run quite late , of course. you wouldn’t be expected to drive back at the late hour. not when I live so much closer. as you well know , I have the space to accommodate you , were you to decide to attend … ’
@peakys· ·
it’s indicative of successful bond , the perception of his ability to show interest in events of none such interest at all . her question is spoken in the need for reassurance , justification for his attendance . being needed , among other varying forms of dependence , is of the ultimate desire for thomas . smile remains only behind eyes she cannot see , failing to touch tongue or cheek . stoic in the face of an ask akin to a beg . purposeful concealment of excited emotion .
‘ i’m very sociable man , ay ? i’m just not a sociable man if the talk to be had is of no interest to me . ’
glasses rest upon edge of nose . the raise of brow and perk of lip corner gives secret admission only to curiosity . digits drag lazily across naked skin of back , edges of nail tickling confines of shoulder muscle . how delightful it is , the pure vulnerability of the woman beneath him .
‘ but you weren’t asking about my preference of company , may , were you ? you were asking me to be your date . ’
quick dip of hand to her collarbone , then breast .
‘ and my answer’s yes . i will attend . ’
You know Michael thinks you are the devil… and I think he might actually be right.
stardustvein.
‘ I walked over here because I was — ’ curious. and still stalling. but he steals the words from her mouth just as assuredly as he’d stolen her cigarette. may’s mouth falls open for a moment , dumbfounded. as if he’d suddenly grown a second head , composure slipping. temporary. it always was. then , she leans in further. granting permission after barely a breath of hesitation.
and once the swap is complete , her lipstick stained cig hanging from his mouth whilst his finds it’s new home between her lips , may takes a long , deliberate drag. blows smoke from the corner of her mouth. ‘ perusing new a new brand ?? ’ she inquires , nodding towards that which he’d stolen. ‘ if that’s the case , you could have simply asked. ’ but she is nowhere near daft enough to believe that was all it was. ash is idly flicked , drifts away in the breeze.
‘ so , do I get to know your name now that we’ve swapped saliva ?? or do you prefer to keep me in the dark ?? ’
there are her telltale signs of fluster — mouth parting , head cocking , slow exhale . green light . successful attempt to disable defense , pride swells . tongue flicks lower lip , enamel sucking inward to bite his own flesh . pregnant pause to contemplate her words , devouring of syllables : swapped saliva . two puffs and smoke spills from flared nostrils , burning as the skin on his bones . she’s enamored and it’s splayed across every inch of delicate feature.
‘ i’ve always wondered how a woman’s lips differ from a man’s . softer . taken care of . ’
index and middle finger remove the cigarette from a simpering mouth , examine stains of lipstick left by her lips . full-hearted snicker escapes a nicotine coated throat , eyes fixated on the mark left only by her mouth . single brow raises , once more swallowing her whole with hurried glance .
‘ lucky strikes . those are the cigarettes . thomas shelby . that’s my name . i suppose you’ll tell me yours , now . and why you’re out here with me , when you could be amongst your own people . in there . ’