Sports Night Meme - Season 1A
All quotes from episodes 1x01-1x12 of Aaron Sorkin’s Sports Night! Feel free to change pronouns, etc as needed!
“I’m getting divorced. I don’t need a cruise director.”
“Excuse me, if anyone needs me, I’ll be hurling myself out the window.”
“You ever ride the subway all day long, I mean just for the fun of it?”
“There’s weather in outer space?”
“Did you come in here to give me a pep talk? Cause if you came in here to give me a pep talk, can we assume that it already happened, that it worked, and that I’m peppy?”
“Once again, I don’t know what the hell we’re talking about.”
“No rich young white guy has ever gotten anywhere with me comparing himself to Rosa Parks.”
“All you need is 40 million dollars and a dream.”
“We know what today is, we just didn’t know what Thursday was.”
“They’re worried I might accidentally show up 2000 years before the birth of Christ.”
“Thank you, Coco Chanel.”
“This is what you get for being a grown man who can’t dress himself.”
“I gotta tell you, at this point the length of this conversation is way out of proportion with my interest in it.”
“Boy I would love to be out of the loop on the next piece of drama that’s gonna happen around here.”
“Can I get a teamster to hit him in the head with something heavy?”
“If you feel that strongly about something, you have a responsibility to try and change my mind!”
“You fit in on your own time.”
“You shouldn’t kick fire hydrants.”
“If you screw that up again, I’ll set you on fire.”
“Others may think it’s vaguely gay, but I think it’s sweet.”
“From now on I am only singing songs in the public domain.”
“Does the fly have any other special powers?”
“I’m not the one being hunted by some imaginary insect!”
“Talking to myself that can’t be a good sign.”
“I swear you could run for Congress and win.”
“These guys still haven’t figured out how to light your nose.”
“This is what friends gear up for.”
“If it’s possible, I’d like to look just a little bit more like Elmer Fudd.”
“I’m not conversationally anal retentive like you are.”
“I remember some days you could barely find the building.”
“Work’s over. It’s time for a big, giant blue thing for 2 dollars off.”
“Did you hear me? He’s a Republican!”
“I’m doing what any reasonable man would do: I’m calling a building contractor and installing a dungeon.”
“The result is an irresistible combination of brilliance inside the office and something a little less than brilliance anywhere outside of it.“
“Do you have any sense of what day you turned into a lunatic woman?”
“I’m looking for my talent.”
“I fell asleep once while making her dinner.”
“Lola Falana over here got us thrown out of the bar.”
“What is there a law against dancing now? Is that what it’s come to?”
“Why is there a 24 pound turkey on the light grid?”
“He’s Greek and he’s a ghost.”
“I’m not gonna be beaten by a 6000 year old Roman god!”
“For one hour every night, this is my little corner of the earth.”
“Nothing screws up here unless I screw it up!”
“What are you, The Riddler?”
“I’m making it your business!”
“For a guy who’s read The Hobbit 14 times, you’re not so dumb.”
“I’m on the mailing list to end all mailing lists.”
“I was listening a little, I remember the circle.”
“Nothing wrong with a good hoedown.”
“There is a very palpable zone and I am in it.”
“I really have been hearing about it all day.”
“You wanna listen to me or you want to tell your funny jokes?”
“It’s not like she’s listening to anyone but herself.”
“I have a keen dislike for that woman.”
“I would appreciate a little backup here. Could we have a bond over this please?”
“Pretty funny coming from someone I can fire any time I like.”
“Of my entire roster of boyfriends, and it is, believe me, quite the lengthy list, you are my least favorite.”
“I don’t really care that much about your life.”
“We don’t even need to have a relationship, just the sex and the contacts.”
“I can tell you’re starting to open up to me a little and I think that’s great, but I’m pretty much done talking to you right now.”
“I’ll never leave you little buddy!”
“You wanna come with me to the bathroom?”
“Is there such a thing as a good pun?”
“It was like half an hour ago and we’re still talking about it.”
“Oh yeah I forgot to ask you. Please, spread that around.”
“That’s pool you mental patient!”
“He’s a little cranky. Apparently when he was growing up he didn’t get enough calcium and vitamin D.”
“You owe me like 7000 dollars. I’m basically your landlord at this point.”
“There are times you’re not that easy to love.”
“I can’t tell you how little a thing I don’t have.”
“Woah there Huckleberry, come on back to the stable!”
“It’s hard not to notice that the woman’s body was put together by a technician very close to God.”
“Well her brain was put together by the assistant night guy at the 7-11.”
“Everyone still wears shoes, right?”
“I want to start grooming you.”
“When I get a thought in my head, I like it to die right there.”
“That was an unfortunate rhyme, but still!”
“Look at her. I don’t think she’s of this world.”
“She scares me. She’s too good looking. Nobody’s that good looking.”
“I think she wants to rule all of Metropolis.”
“Of course she’s skilled, she’s Satan’s handmaiden!”
“We’ve been having some very bizarre computer problems have you noticed that?”
“You see how you managed to tell me that without taking all your clothes off?”
“On the entire planet, have you ever seen anyone with eyes like that?”
“I say she has no reflection!”
“I like it when you fix it. It’s so cute and nerdy.”
“I’m gonna fix you up with Yoko Ono.”
“Do you even know Yoko Ono?”
“My name’s ________ you unbelievable moron. We’ve known each other for years.”
“I don’t think you’re ever going to have sex again. I gotta go.”
“We were flirting, but it was a rehearsal of sorts. It was a class.”
“Far be it from me to be adventurous in our sex life!”
“I am not quitting and I am not getting fired. Certainly not today and probably not tomorrow.”
“He’s talking about you, you freak.”
“It was complimentary? Well how good of you to come to tea.”
“You could be having sex with Yoko Ono right now.”
titsay
turnnoffyourmind
2087
discoholicmusic
pixelskylines
