Much cheaper than their western equivalent, Chinese taxis are practically public transport in China. They're a big part of Chinese everyday life, and more so for foreign students. The moment the driver suspects you can speak some Chinese, your foreign appearance is bound to be a conversation starter. This will soon become the best way to measure your Chinese listening skills, as each driver has his own accent (some times I wonder if they don't make them up themselves), and every time you understand a new one, you can feel a "LEVEL UP" sign over your head. But an accent is the least that a Chinese cab driver can offer.
Having to take a cab for long distances every weekend to teach English in the outskirts of Jinan, I've had my fair share of taxi-periences experiences. I'll do my best to share them with you in this here post.
Taxis in Jinan come in different forms:
Some drivers take cover behind a thick cage; others brave the dangerous customer unprotected, settling for some bars separating them from the murderous individuals sitting in the back.
Some of them will professionally flick their available/taken sign from a horizontal position to a red-lit beacon of hope, while others will misleadingly let it up, and wave you off without remorse when you shake your arm in despair. Others will just let it down and wander off, leaving you to stare at their emptiness with frustration.
No matter the driver you'll end up with, one thing is certain: If you're not a thrill-ride amateur, keep your eyes off the road. Chinese drivers drive their car as they ride their bicycle, and this is especially true when it comes to taxi drivers. Red lights, separated lanes, sidewalks, your taxi driver is as good as blind when it comes to all that. They'll honk while speeding through pedestrians and flash their lights before making their way between two opposing buses, all that while talking on their phone and smoking a cigarette.
Circulation too slow on your side of the four-lane street? No problem, drive against the current on the other side. Don't forget to flash your lights and honk.
-- I'll make a small interlude here to say that I don't have anything against Chinese drivers; I myself quite enjoy a zigzagging bike ride through the Chinese streets. Contrary to appearances, the result of their driving is pretty fluid and overall functional.
... Except when they make U-turns in highways.
Yesterday I was waiting at my usual spot, looking for a cab, when I got beaten to one by a mother and her child just around the corner. The female driver still stopped in front of me and honked, inviting me to tell her my destination, hoping to make two fares out of one ride. After telling her where I was going, I sat in the front seat and she started driving. The driver kept talking about the detours she would have to make, the other passenger tried striking deals (to me: "I pay half, you pay half" Driver: "No way!" ), and the kid just kept staring at me in awe. Finally we all decided it would be better for me to just get another cab, and so I got out, 100m down the road.
In a stroke of luck, just across the street, an elderly couple was getting out of another taxi. I zigzagged through some 3-wheeled vehicles to cross the street and waited till the old man finished counting his bills to get in the car at last. After a U-turn that took two attempts, going on reverse into incoming traffic, we finally were in the right direction, ready to go.
From the first turn, the driver took a different way than the one I was accustomed to. I didn't object, as it was the first time I went to teach at that time of the day, and no one knows the traffic better than taxi drivers. Nevertheless, if I hadn't spend some time in China, I would be surprised when the driver decided to stop next to a liquor store and get out of the car saying: "OK, see ya then." (or more in the lines of: “好的，再见啦”）.
Turns out it was just a shift change, a common practice in China, and probably not very legal. The driver goes to rest and gives his taxi to another one, but to one whose picture doesn't appear on the permit in front of the car. However, the possible illegality of the situation didn't frighten me as much as the fact that my new driver was coming out of a room filled with baijiu (the infamous Chinese grain alcohol).
The ride was nonetheless smooth and quiet.
The time it wasn't smooth and quiet, was a week ago, and was also by far my most interesting taxi experience:
I was at the same spot, but this time it was at 17:30 in the afternoon, the beginning of Jinan's rush hour. At that time it's almost impossible to get a taxi, so I always give myself an extra 45 minutes to find one. This time the traffic seemed even worse than usual, which makes sense since we're getting close to the Chinese new year. I therefore had a little more trouble than usual to spot an empty taxi in that sea of cars ("cars" isn't the best choice of words here, a more appropriate choice would be "vehicles of different sizes, number of wheels, direction, speed, power source, noise emitted and ability to drive in a straight line").
I still managed to find one and here's how our initial conversation went:
"I'm going to LingXiuCheng, the one on ErHuan South St."
"That far away? I'm working extra hours right now, how about 40RMB?"
(At that point I realized that it would be a no-receipt ride, but as the price wasn't too far from what I was expecting to pay, and after the trouble I went through to find that cab, I agreed without bargaining)
"The traffic is terrible!" etc. etc.
"Hey let's see where these guys over there are going." -"Where are you headed?"
To me: "Ha ha, they're going too far east!"
We kept stopping at every person waving their hand after that, and every time I could hear someone say: "Oh hey look! He's got a foreigner!"
We ended up taking 3 extra fares going in similar directions (emphasis on the word "similar" in contrast to "the same"). After the 3rd one the driver realised that time was getting tight if I wanted to get to my destination before 19:00, and so took a bigger street and avoided any extra delays.
After having chatted with him and the ephemeral passengers I kept to myself, and was lost in thought when suddenly we were stopped in the middle of the road, and the driver was talking to a policeman in front of the car.
I couldn't hear what the policeman was saying, but I could hear my driver saying:
- "Hey, I'm just leaving this [handsome young man] to his destination, it won't take long"
- "Come on, let this one slide, I'm just getting him there and I'm done"
But apparently all his pleading didn't work, he had to hand his wallet and go park his car on the side. He told me to wait and ran off to the center of the huge intersection, where the policeman was handling the traffic.
The driver came back mumbling, took the keys and asked me to wait a little longer.
It was then obvious that I wouldn't make it in time, so I sent a message to the other teacher explaining what I understood of the situation, and started thinking about alternative ways to get there.
The driver and policeman were nowhere to be seen.
Should I leave a 20 bill on the driver's seat and get another taxi? I was in the intersection of 2 huge streets, in the middle of nowhere, finding another way to go to work wouldn't be an easy task.
My Chinese colleague called me, panicked, asking me if I needed help, and hoping I could get there on time.
While I was leaning on the car, talking on the phone, the driver suddenly appeared, running towards me: "It's OK, it's OK, get in!"
In the car, he turns towards me with an exasperated smile, raises two fingers and says: "二百".
Two hundred.
That's the amount that finally let him pay the cop off.
"I worked all day for nothing." he says.
We drove the rest of the way in awkward silence, I didn't know what to say other than "Aiya, what a pity", or "Aiya, so bothersome".
I ended up giving him a hundred instead of the arranged price; he was a nice guy.
