Why I write Valarr as such a sadboy (a ramble)
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While there's a lot to be sad about in his life even before AKOTSK events (my man canonically has still born sons at this point (that's plural by the way) and he's likely to not even be 20 yet), i want to point at specific moments we see on screen that make me feel the way i feel about him.
When the Targaryen procession arrives, Valarr is in the very background and out of focus. All we get to see is him doing a very sassy/disdainful looking double take at Aerion's shenanigans. Alas, we don't get to learn what he thought about it exactly, but I imagine it wasn't anything cheerful. He *has* to be here, at this event nobody worthy will ever be in their right mind to challenge him, he *has* to pretend to be the champion knowing full-well he probably didn't really earn it and remains so as a technicality, he has to be in the shadow of his taller, stronger, more popular dad the whole time who didn't even bother to bring his armor or his warhorse because he doesn't need the bells and whistles, AND he has to do all that while in close proximity to his absolute disaster and psycho of a cousin. At least his wife is here at Ashford Meadow, but with how far behind him she stands at the funeral pyre I'm not sure they're all that very warm with each other (refer to the earlier multiple still births i mentioned to explain this).
Then there's the tourney. My man's bored out of his mind. My man doesn't *care.* He's there performing PR for his family, instead of having fun and testing his mettle like most other nobles get to. And he has to *watch* everyone else having fun, even his psycho cousin who taunts him and mocks him and then kills some guy's horse, so now everyone looks at you like "your family sucks you're all uptight haughty arrogant bastards" and you have to smile and be like "uh-huh it's hard to argue with you rn" (we don't see him do that of course, and he probably doesn't, but he might think of it that way)
The specific way in which he *almost* shakes his head in a defeated/disbelieving sort of way when Aerion goads him into getting up and then leaves him hanging is so telling. It's very restrained but also totally not impressed or surprised.
And that's how I see Valarr. He is *numb* to the terrible things. His heart is closed. He likely lost his mother already, and at this point definitely lost at least one child before he even got to name him. His father belongs to the realm, being the Hand and the heir apparent. Valarr has nothing except responsibilities and an image to upkeep, and he acts accordingly. I think he is keenly aware of how he needs to appear, and he does, before he even thinks of what emotions he is actually feeling and may want to express.
Finally, his only dialogue scene. Right after the funeral pyre of his father prince Baelor, Dunk finds Valarr unceremoniously sitting on the grass, by himself. No attendants near him, not even a blanket on the ground. He sits on his own cape/cloak, and stares at the ashes.
What the show doesn't make apparent is the passage of time. It's unclear how many days pass between events and how long is the road to here or there. The show also doesn't mention anything about the fact that there's a traditional funeral vigil performed by a knight over a body of someone like Baelor, and in the books it's Valarr who stands vigil, by himself.
So by the time Dunk finds Valarr sitting on the grass looking at what remains of his father, Valarr had already been staring at his father's body for seven days and seven nights, armored and armed, by himself. So, when they talk, Valarr is not subdued and flat in his delivery because he is in shock or something. Shock had passed. There's no one more aware of how dead Baelor is than Valarr at this point.
And the way his jaw tenses when he senses Dunk approach. The way, when he asks Dunk a philosophical question Drunk honestly says "i can't say", Valarr, like, rises his brows and presses his lips as if to say "yeah didn't think so". He wasn't expecting Dunk to have any answers, and he was not impressed with the answers he did give. If he blames Dunk, i'm not sure (he probably blames Aerion more than anyone else). But he definitely thinks Dunk's life isn't worth his father's (and not primarily because he loved his father, but rather because, as a person, objectively, Baelor was more valuable to the world than Dunk - that's how i headcanon Valarr's opinion on this, anyway).
For the blaming of Aerion part, I think what he truly blames him is not even for assaulting the mummer girl. He wouldn't have done the same, but i don't think he'd consider it such a crime that was worth beating the shit out of Aerion for (i'm sure as his relative Valarr can list a hundred other things Aerion had done more worth it than that specific crime). What he likely does blame Aerion for is trying to weasel out of fighting Dunk one-on-one by bringing up some obscure trial style that involves 14 people
AERION SIDE NOTE: Aerion even knowing about this kind of trial is absolutely fascinating and proves to me he is well-read and might even be religious? We all know of course he thinks Valyrians superior and thinks himself a dragon, but does he also recognize the Seven's authority? anyway back to Valarr
The way Valarr is unimpressed and unamused and unsurprised with Dunk's presense and his answers, and the way he dismisses him the way he does "Be gone with you", all goes to support my perception of Valarr as a subdued, rare to outbursts, evenly spoken sad boy.
The scene ALSO proves to me that Valarr isn't all that very noble. Some may say yeah he's allowed to be a little bitter because his father just died for something so stupid (at the end of the day the conflict was straight up idiotic in how miniscule and unimportant it was), but i don't think he even is all that bitter.
I think Valarr is as spoiled and uptight and self-important as would be completely natural for him to be considering his position. He is the oldest son to the King's oldest son, he's never been to war, he never lived with commoners. I think it makes complete sense for him to think of Dunk as lesser. I wonder what he thought about Egg's quest, how he just decided to follow Dunk around and see what's up across the realm. I don't think Valarr has that adventure and nobility in him. I don't think he's terribly curious how well or unwell the common person lives. But that's all neither here nor there, just sharing some headcanons.
To sum up:
Valarr is a sad boy and I love him. The most disastrous thing could happen and he would just go something like this:
(you should watch Frasier by the way it's incredible)
Thank you for coming to my Valarr talk!