Ramblings of a Sailor Rose

Éilís Fionmhacáin PNW for now/ world traveller, figuring it out on the way. Not broken, just different

[sherlocked-sassenach]

The declassification of Pluto bothers me because I was dependant on that little planet. It was comfort to know that somewhere in the far edge of the universe was a little, cold, lonely mass that felt the same as me.

[sherlocked-sassenach]

I would like to know without a doubt that any one friend loves and values me as much as I love my friends. This is not a self bragging post. It's not that I think I'm better. On the contrary, it's that I think I'm worse. It is that I have some how been made to feel, either by myself or by others, absolutely worthless. What makes me so easily forgettable, so quickly disregarded? While I work carefully to appear desensitized and cold, I am made of warm flesh and blood that needs to be held at night when I soak my pillow with tears and celebrated when things are well. I can't do it on my own anymore. I need someone.

[im-mixed420-deactivated20170128]

[zoentropy]

Can we just get rid of Texas please

[sherlocked-sassenach]

Texas keeps trying to leave the states. Why do we keep it? Let them gooo. Then we can build a wall just for them!

[cockswastika-blog]

U.S. elections be like

[democracyisdead-deactivated2015]

this is it. this is the best post I’ve ever seen.

[sherlocked-sassenach]

Being in love with one of your best friends and watching him try to find a girlfriend is absolutely hell. FML. F M MOTHER FUCKING L

[sherlocked-sassenach]

Well, today's developments may lead to us pursuing our own relationship. God this mess is confusing

[sherlocked-sassenach]

Being in love with one of your best friends and watching him try to find a girlfriend is absolutely hell. FML. F M MOTHER FUCKING L

[jamesbanes]

[sherlocked-sassenach]

When the fuck did this show do a Mashup with GOT?

[sherlocked-sassenach]

In what world does not paying the government money get you more jail time than actually harming someone? #merica

[cassandracalin]

[shittyidea]

Incest, a game the whole family can play…

[sherlocked-sassenach]

[shittyidea]

President Trump

[sherlocked-sassenach]

Yes, Hello mother and sister. Please stop shaming me for not wanting children, ever. Also, please stop shaming and teasing me for having nightmares about bearing a child, when the "father" in these terrors is my abuser. When you haven't slept a whole night in 4 months, come talk about how funny my nightmares are.

[i-was-kaguramutsuki-deactivated]

a trigger

gives you flashbacks of traumatic events

sends you into an agonizing panic attack

makes your heart skip beats from sheer terror

it does not

mildly offend you

make you feel uncomfortable

gross you out

make you angry

are we fucking done here

[apilagha-vigha]

feel like this needs to be brought back

[wishyroses]

for one: a trigger absolutely can be those things. A trigger is something that TRIGGERS an emotional or physical response in a person. its about as broad as that.

two: as far as the way tumblr uses trigger, in a mental heath sense, is not limited to flashbacks, AGONIZING panic attacks, or “sheer terror”. That’s like the MOST extreme reaction to a trigger for fucks sake. Here are some other equally as valid situations of being triggered:

I see a picture of magic the gathering cards, my abusive ex played magic the gathering. I am now nauseous and get paranoid about seeing my ex around every corner.

I see a picture of some gore. I get a lump in the pit of my stomach that lasts several hours and i cant stop thinking about the image for hours, days, even longer. This has happened to where the image shows up as an occasional flashback a year later.

I see a certain symbol that reminds me of my ex, it makes me feel gross and filthy and like i need to scrub my skin. I do not experience pain or terror, but am still triggered by said symbol.

no a trigger is not something that annoys you or bugs you or something you just dont like.

but posts like this are such bullshit. They perpetuate this gate-keeper idea about how your mental illness is only “bad enough” if you experience flashbacks or painful palpitations, or debilitating panic attacks. My anxiety disorder just doesn’t cause the kind of panic attacks where i cant speak or move. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have a “real” anxiety disorder. I experience flashbacks sometimes, but they aren’t the kind that cause violent outbursts like you see on tv, and they don’t stop me from going about my day like normal. That doesn’t mean I’m not a “real” victim of abuse or trauma.

you have no right to decide what triggers another person. You don’t get to tell people ”actually no you aren’t triggered rn.“ ESPECIALLY if they are some random stranger on the internet.

I could tell you “Magic the Gathering triggers me.” You cant immediately understand why, right? and I am not obligated to spill every detail of why even typing “Magic the Gathering” makes me feel sick.  Especially not to a random fucking stranger on the internet. so why don’t you take your “not severe enough” attitude and throw it out a window. Its gatekeeping crap and you should cut it out. thhhhanks

[tvcoslvt]

THANK YOU for this response.

And thank you thank you THANK YOU for bringing to light the validity of relationship trauma in the often overlooked context of nonviolence and absence of abuse. Trauma is not one dimensional or cookie cutter. There are a million “nonconventional” ways a person can be traumatized (community violence, medical trauma, natural disasters, traumatic grief, complex/prolonged exposure trauma), and they are all valid as fuck. Trauma is so complex and damages so many parts of the brain that you do not get to determine how someone should or shouldn’t be displaying their trauma symptoms. Anyone can be triggered in their own ways relative to the unique variations and magnitude of damages that were obtained.

[wishyroses]

You are welcome and thank YOU for the cool info on trauma! I don’t know much about that side of things, and you said lots of killer vocab! *snaps* 👍🏻

[sherlocked-sassenach]

Nothing else seems to sum up how my anxiety feels like this picture. I need to pull my hair out and cry. I need the comfort of touch, but I shy away from it. Colour is stripped, breathing is laboured. The weight of the world presses me down. And all of this is shown in one self portrait, when I told myself to act naturally.

[inkskinned]

Can I tell you a secret? You don’t have to be in a relationship.    I mean it. I know they force it down your throat until you choke on it. Girls aren’t pretty unless they’re wanted. Boys aren’t men unless they’re having sex with someone. People aren’t lovable until they’re dating someone.    But a relationship won’t always make you happy, and as wonderful as romance is, it isn’t the only love that exists. I have seen friendships that are deeper and more pure than couples who swear it’s forever - and yet the friendship is the one people ignore.    I have heard so often “nobody loves me” out of the mouths of people who are single. And it kills me because if you ask them: where are your parents, your teachers, your classmates, your pets - they say, yes, okay, but it doesn’t count. Of course it counts, love doesn’t diminish just because someone doesn’t want to have sex with you. In fact, doesn’t it sort of make that love more real that they want nothing - not even a date - out of you?   It is pretty to be in love. It’s magical, I’m sure. But it’s also wonderful to stop for ice cream in your prom dress with six other girls. It’s also wonderful to go visit the world with nothing but a bunch of buddies who are really excited about learning.    The problem is: we’ve made everything about “the one”. But maybe “the one” is just you, loving yourself, having fun, and being happy. Maybe instead of looking for our other halves, we should be piecing ourselves together.   Maybe I wasn’t born unfinished. Maybe I am the one who makes myself better.

Single serving size // r.i.d (via inkskinned)

[irishthings]

[sherlocked-sassenach]

I just sat here "charging" my phone for 20 min before looking over. Shit. It looks so defeated. Don't do stress kids. It messes with your mind.