What are little girls made of?
Recently I was at Target and saw two wall hangings defining boy’s and girl’s. One said, “Boy: (noun) Superhero in disguise” and the other said, “Girl: (noun) A giggle with glitter on it” What does that mean?
And it’s not just decorations. I went to the baby clothes and saw a onesie in the boy’s section that said, “Little MVP” but when I went across the aisle to the girl’s section I was met with a onesie that read, “Eat, sleep, sparkle”. Again, I ask you, what does that even mean? What kind of message is that?
I know, everyone goes on and on about the ominous “message”, right? What message are we sending our little girls? And you might be thinking, “Hey, if you don’t like the wall hanging- don’t buy it.”
And “Who cares what the onesie says, they’ll either poop in it or grow out of it in two days.” Be that as it may, acknowledging this stark difference doesn’t imply this is a divisive issue. It doesn’t suggest that boys are against girls or vice versa. However, this is a social issue that needs to be addressed.
For instance, the list of famous women in history that we learn about in school is short. After Rosa Parks, Joan of Ark, and Queen Elizabeth it gets a little challenging to remember anyone else. And before they even step one foot in the classroom little girls can probably recite the entire story of Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty better than they can their own address. These princesses, these helpless damsels in distress leave a lot to be desired.
Which made finding this book so satisfying. Jason Porath a former animator at DreamWorks compiled and illustrated this book, Rejected Princesses: Tales of History’s boldest heroines, hellions, and heretics. He shares with us the stories of 100 women who don’t fit the typical princess mold.
Like Gouyen, an Apache woman who was out hunting with her husband one day when they were attacked by another tribe. Her husband was killed and his scalp was cut off leaving him mutilated in the afterlife. Her husband’s father was too old and her male relatives were too weak to take revenge so it was up to her. All alone, without a horse or a weapon, she set out to find the camp of the tribe who killed her husband. Once she did, she snuck her way into the camp where they were dancing and drinking. She saw the man who murdered her husband, went up to him, and held out her hands to ask him to dance.
As they danced she moved them further and further away from the fire and lured him into the dark. She tried to grab his knife to stab him but dropped it. So, instead she sank her teeth into his neck. He hit her over and over but she did not let go until he was dead. Then she picked up the knife, cut off his scalp, and left for home on his horse.
THAT is my kind of princess.
Sure, the story is a little bit gory, I’ll give you that but there are PG stories too. Like that of Mary Anning: The Princess of Paleontology. She’d go scavenging for fossils by a massive cliff wall next to the sea. A cliff so steep and dangerous that it claimed her father’s life. Her discoveries and expertise made her known among geologists who eventually followed her on these expeditions. Even when they were credited with her work that didn’t stop her.
For decades, she rolled out discovery after discovery. Now her story is a parable for future generations:
When you are against a wall, face it like the beating of the ocean, relentless, and if this world has no place for you, carve one for yourself.
Now THAT is a message. Let’s see THAT on a onesie.
Sure, what one onesie says does not matter in the span of an entire life. However, what we tell little girls at a young age becomes internalized. It sinks in.
If we give them Cinderella’s and Sleeping Beauty’s waiting to be saved how can we expect them to walk into their manager’s office and ask for a raise?
If they sing along to lyrics that say, “Don’t cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?” how can we expect them to know their worth isn’t dependent on their desirability?
This isn’t a conversation about doing away with cute onesies, fairy tales, and anything pink. It’s about being cognizant about what little girls are being told and about what they need to hear because it takes a lot more to become a strong woman than glitter and sparkles.
