She's In The Clouds

(n.) Lit. "cloud walker"; one who lives in the cloud of their own imagination or dreams; one who does not obey the conventions of society, literature, or art. ☁️

[findingpeacethroughchaos]

[genderoutlaws]

An abandoned theater in Rochester, New York. Formerly a pornographic theater, then just a facade after the Walgreens next door gutted it to use as a warehouse. The Walgreens with it's shampoo and baby formula and half of the store locked in cages; the contradictions stare into you. You go because it is the nearest pharmacy, close in walking distance for you and your disabled loved ones.

The Walgreens shuts down and it too, is now just a vacant facade, next to a vacant facade. You stare into the large windows meant to advertise it's contents, now only showcasing absence. A wide open space with torn up floors. You think about how perfect the location could be for low income housing, for squatting, for anything other than standing as a constant reminder of the city's failures to her people. The parking lot is empty, save for the occasional cop car, to ensure no one uses the lot or the building for anything at all. The cop ensures the space will stay as useless as himself.

They add letters to the theater's marquee; a reminder and encouragement of surveillance. "If you see something, say something. In progress call 911, over and done call 311." They board up the doors, ensuring that the space will stay in it's intended form: empty, useless, an eyesore that reminds everyone of their place. The freshly boarded up door has been emblazoned with a message from those who lack.

"A man would shelter, if he could / in the nook behind this new plywood / the building, abandoned / the man is too / how I wish you'd imagine / that it were you."

[shesintheclouds]

[shesintheclouds]

[journalofsolitude]

H.D

[shesintheclouds]

[petaltexturedskies]

Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals

[shesintheclouds]

[zainabelmeziani]

- Zaïnab El Meziani

[shesintheclouds]

So glad there's illustrations to go along with her writing because she literally writers the most vibrant of images she's so talented

[shesintheclouds]

[shesintheclouds]

[nixscriptum]

[shesintheclouds]

[petaltexturedskies]

Virginia Woolf, A Passionate Apprentice: The Early Journals, 1897-1909

[shesintheclouds]

[fracturedporcelaindoll]

you know what's weird, when I'm feeling emotional, like normal affectionate person that I am deep inside cause clingy like feral rabbit that's been starved and suddenly offered carrot, so like yes want held, cuddles, hair petted, praises etc ~

But at the same time...... I will also often want pain, rough choking that leaves bruises, pain that will make me cry whether I wish to or not, being used roughly, almost as if hated me or something yet the irony because even then I'd want to hear possessive remarks about how I belong to them, how pretty I look all marked up for them, how good I am for taking it all etc ~

I think pain is attractive because sometimes when you are feeling out of control emotionally or struggling with how to process emotions that pain can give you a focus point, a release or at least that's my view that an I am just a bit of a massochist most likely ~