It’s been years, and I mean years, since the movement of my hand has manipulated a crisp white sheet. I can’t remember the last time I allowed myself, no, not just myself, but my heart and mind the freedom to spill their guts on paper.
Maybe for fear my dark heart would expose itself…. Dark red piercing eyes peering over the walls of my heart seeking the perfect prey to devour
Even now my hand begins to cramp, my physical self has yet to express itself in an ion. Reminds me of the worse insult i received not 2 months ago. I wrote a small excerpt with a posted pic, and as part of it’s description I mentioned “writing again”. Weeks later a comment emerged from a “No One”. He said, “ A True Writer never stops writing”.
I was outraged, appalled… was he right?! Am I not a “True writer”, was I ever a “True Writer”? Were any of my previous publications enough to deem me worthy of a “True Writer”
Fuck!!!!! Who the FUCK was he to make such an outlandish statement…. Some 17 year old stud that hasn’t lived long enough to know the difference between his dick and his thumb?! Or was he some 60 year old has been that hasn’t lived a moment of his life beyond his words. lurking in the corner of every post blasting others to stroke his own ego.
I took offense so easily, I was guilty. My words hadn’t breathed life in so long. And each day that passes a memory fades and I’m unable to retrieve it. Sharing my life and my stories vocally or with pictures has sufficed for a specific lifestyle, to keep my memories alive. But what about me who will ever know me, how will I ever remember me….
I knew I never stopped writing, my mind constantly wandering, dreaming up fresh phrases or thoughts forming to the rhythm of life around me. But my luck wouldn’t give in to the passion of my pen. Instead of my hand to pen and my pen to paper.. a scraped knee would call my name, a dirty diaper, a busted lip, the contagious laugh of a three year. How could I miss these moments.
Lesson Learned… so here I am heart exposed like a used up whore and pen in hand. transferred to meet your eyes. Deem me worthy or let me rot, its not your fucking call. #writingagain
#words #mywords #fuckyou #mythoughts #lovemeforme #excerpt #selfie #writingselfie #selfienation
janainaart
vaporwave
tangentwithtanner
izzy806
yousharknotpass
theartofmadeline
