My boyfriend spanked me once. We'd had a really bad argument, it was clear I was in the wrong, I admitted it but, honestly, sulkily, and he said he wanted to deal with it in a way that would actually close the discussion. It was the humiliation. I felt my chest turn cold when he told me to lie across his lap. Was still and silent, and the part of me that was still sulking felt furious because he knew the implications of this, how I'd feel. We stopped before I started crying, but not before I was yelling despite my pride. I feel my stomach twisting up just writing this now. And, yeah, sending this ask here, because I now have super complicated erotic feelings about it, but I don't dare tell him. It would too awful. I remember him concealing a smile afterwards when I told him that I would put on the ointment in another room. I can't let him know that - well, I didn't like it. I hated it and him. But it also worked for the moment. And I've masturbated thinking about it and I feel so ashamed and small thinking about it but ahhh¡!!!!!!!!!!
This is an extremely hot 🥵 and well written recollection! You've really captured a specific dynamic that appeals to those of us interested in spanking. Obviously, whether you fully want to admit it or not, you have an interest too or you wouldn't have found my page.
I will leave it up to you as to whether this situation qualifies as consensual or not since it happened to you and not me. You really should not be subjected to spankings if you do not want them (that should go without saying) but it's obvious to me that on some level, you do crave it. If you are still with this person, you should not pass up the opportunity to get what you want. The shame and humiliation of asking for punishment is part of the fun! The reason I say this is because if you do not pursue it now and changes in life happen, you may regret it later and be desperate to find a partner who will give you what you need.
But you do also say you hated it. So maybe I'm wrong about what you really want. All I can say is that your reaction is nothing to be ashamed about. Sexuality is so complex. It's completely normal to be turned on for reasons that don't seem to make sense. And the great thing that I've found about spanking in particular is that a significant portion of people (especially women) have some level of interest. It's not weird at all.
This is such a great Ask because while your story is interesting and arousing, I have mixed feelings about spanking someone in this way. Only you know your relationship, but I have never spanked anyone without explicit consent (or prior blanket consent). Perhaps you can incorporate spanking into your relationship but with you establishing the guidelines and ground rules?
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