*gets a ruler and pulls up a powerpoint presentation*
Ok, um, warning, I'm going to mention r*pe
Ok so Dick Grayson, as we all know, was the first robin. Him and his parents were acrobats before his parents died and Bruce adopted him
What people don't normally know (unless you're a batfam freak like me) is that Dick Grayson wasn't a sweetheart child like he is when hes an adult
He was a murderous little baby who wanted to kill his parents murderer (yeah, apparently it wasn't an accident, DC took master oogway way too seriously when he said "there are no accidents")
Anyways, he becomes robin, leaves Batman to form the Teen Titans, went through a Discowing faze, his little brother Jason died (we'll talk about Jason in a sec), he killed the Joker only for Batman to bring him back via Lazarus pit, then Nightwing got r*ped multiple times by this chick I think her name was scorpion? But yeah. Anyways he also got shot in the head and went through a weird Ric phase but we don't talk about that. Oh and also his great great grandpa or something was part of the Court of Owls and he was supposed to be a part of it too so.... yeah....
So Jason had a mom and dad who were in poverty, his mom was sick and died and his dad was a henchman of Two-face who shot him and died
So Jason ended up becoming a street kid who one day stole the wheels off of the Batmobile (not even joking, he actually did that)
So Batman adopted him, a natural response
Plus Robin just became Nightwing so he needed a new Robin anyways
So Jason becomes Robin for a few years, then finds out his mom isn't his actual mom and finds out that his real mom is in a different country (I believe somewhere in.... India I think, but dont quote me on that)
Anyways, apparently Joker was doing the same shit in the same area as Jasons mom so Batman was there as well
Bruce agrees to help Jason find his mom if he'll help him solve the case, so he does
Jason finds his mom, they reunite, he tells her that he's robin, turns out the mom works for the joker
So anyways, jasons mom and the joker are in a warehouse, Jason thinks that the joker is holding her hostage (which hes not) and goes into the warehouse despite Bruce's orders
So Jason goes into the warehouse and the joker starts beating him with the crowbar. Jason also finds out about his mom working for the joker, obviously
Joker ties up jasons mom and place a bomb so that no witnesses are walking around (he was running for something political I cant remember what)
Jason, despite his mom basically selling him to the joker, tries to save his mom, unfortunately the door was locked
So yeah, Jason and his mom died
Oh ho ho but that is NOT the end
For you see, Jason got resurrected by the Lazarus pit, and was trained by Taliah Al guhl (whom he later fucked) (keep in mind, he died when he was like 14-15)
Jason Todd came back to Gotham as the anti-hero Red Hood (the identity Joker had before he fell into acid and became the Joker) and is now trying to kill the Joker
This guy became Robin shortly after Jason Todd died. This little shit found out that Dick Grayson is Nightwing and Bruce Wayne is Batman only because nightwing did a stunt only Dick Grayson can do
So yeah, Bruce tried to keep Tim away bc 1. His son just fucking died and 2. Tim isn't even an orphan. His parents are very much alive and they're just as rich as Bruce is (though they're very neglectful so I can see why Tim would want to get away from them)
Eventually Bruce agrees to let Tim be Robin
Later Tims parents die (yay....) so Bruce adopts him
Later he becomes Red Robin and I think he leads the teen titans? But anyways his best friends are Super boy (Kon) Wonder girl (Cass) and Impulse (Bart)
Red Hood finds out that he exists and tries to kill him (but then later they become like best friends so idk)
He also blows up a base of assassins and tries to reclone his best friend Superboy since he died, and he almost gets r*ped by Ra's Al guhls sister
He becomes the Drake (don't ask why, I have no idea)
Then he goes back to being Robin again, and comes out as Bisexual and dates this guy named Bernard (I ship them sm)
Then there's Steph, her dad was the clue master so she decided "fuck him" and she became Spoiler and Batman mentors her. She then becomes Robin, then Batgirl, then back to spoiler
She also dated Tim for like 2 seconds
Oh yeah, I think she died and came back to life? Dont know anything about that
Barbara Gordon, Jim Gordons daughter, was the Original Batgirl before she got shot by the Joker and had to be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life (some comics try to get her recovered but i refuse to believe that as cannon bc it's not factual and it's ablest)
But now she is Oracle and helps Batman from the cave (good for her :) )
Cassandra Cain (not the one from Birds of Prey, love that movie but thats not my Cassandra) was trained by Lady Shiva before Bruce took her in. She became Batgirl, then Orphan
I almost forgot someone (how did I do that, he's my second favorite Robin)
Damian Wayne is Bruce Wayne's actual biological child because Talia Al guhl drug r*ped him and got pregnant to get the "perfect child" but after her dad died she just kinda gave Damian to Bruce
Damian is a little demon brat and tried to kill Tim, multiple times
Later, obviously, he gets better slowly, Dick helps him see the world the way he sees it and he genuinely gets better, and he becomes Robin
He becomes a huge animal lover and adopts like 30,000 animals (no joke, he would do that)
He becomes friends with Jon, aka Super boy (he goes by superman for some reason? But whatever)
His own clone kills him but obviously he comes back to life
But yeah, he's a good kid he just had a bad upbringing
Anyways, Duke Thomas (or aka The Signal)
Kind of like Jason, Duke grew up on the streets
Crazy thing about Duke is that he's the only Bat that has powers (he has light powers)
His mom also got Jokerized and is in Arkham asylum
Harper Row, or Bluebird, has a twin brother and is a technician, and is bisexual
Kate Kane, Batwoman, the only personality trait she has is lesbian and the only thing interesting about her is that she has a crazy sister, i don't like her
Ok I save the best for the last
Alfred Pennyworth, as you may know, is Batmans sassy butler
The man was in the British Military and keeps a fucking shotgun around, saying "I think you rely too much on my masters refusal against lethal force, let me assure you that I subscribe to no such necessities" the man is BADASS AS FUCK MAN-
Also DC is weird so there is a lot of stuff out there that's different from what I said, this is what I've gathered as Cannon, you can make your own cannon if you want to :)
