Jed hollered in time with the scream Octavius let out.
"AHHHH! Jedediah!"
Octavius squeezed his eyes shut, afraid to see if they would make it or not. Why he had agreed to this was beyond him. If it were up to him, they would be taking a leisurely drive around the museum, as they had done before. Not sitting in the car, hoping against hope that they'd be able to successfully complete the crazy leap off a ramp and over ten crates!
He gave a startled yelp when he felt the car land roughly, finding that, by some miracle, they were able to land on the ramp that was on the other side.
Jed skid the car to a stop, a big grin on his face.
"We made it!" he cheered, pumping a fist in the air. "YEEHAW! Now that was somethin', right partner?"
"Indeed... something I shall never do again!" Octavius huffed, making quickly to undo his seatbelt and thrust the car door open so he could escape.
Jed glanced at him, bewildered. "Woah, woah there, Oct! Slow it down! Where you off to in such a hurry?"
The cowboy caught up to him and grabbed his arm. The Roman whirled around.
"Jedediah, I shall not partake in activities that are bound to have us killed!"
"Aw, c'mon, Oct! You ain't gotta worry 'bout that, we were perfectly safe! Live a little, will ya?"
"I do plan to live," Octavius quipped, "which is the reason for my refusal to partake in such activities!"
Jed frowned a little, but at the same time, he didn't want to upset him. True, he had been, as of late, daring to get more and more adventurous with what he could do with the car, having obstacles set up - sometimes with the help of Larry, sometimes with the help of his and Octavius's own men, or the other exhibits - so they could ride them. Maybe, he mused, it was time to tone it down a little.
"All right, look," Jed sighed. "We don't gotta go off stuntin' if it really makes ya that uncomfortable. It's just 'sposed to be all in good fun, but I won't do it if you ain't havin' any. You got my word on that, 'kay partner?" He gave a light playful punch on the other man’s arm and grinned, showing he meant no harm.
Octavius also sighed. "I shall take your word on it," he said. "However... I do wish to maneuver the vehicle the next time."
Jed raised a brow at him. "Uh... you sure 'bout that, pal?"
"Yes..." Octavius said, peering at Jed questioningly. "Why?"
"Oh. Er... no reason."
The Roman narrowed his eyes. "You do not believe I am capable of doing so."
Jed put his hands up. "Woah, now, I ain't ever said that."
Octavius scoffed. "Jedediah, I can assure you I would be able to drive with no issues, and successfully manage our vehicle. In fact, it is probable I should do a better job than you."
"Hey, those are fightin' words mister!" Jed said with a frown.
"There is no reason to quarrel when the facts are as they are, Jedediah," Octavius said, an air of cockiness to him.
"Oh, yeah? Go 'head 'n put your money where your mouth is, boy!" Jed challenged.
Octavius put his guard down a moment to be confused. "Come again?"
Jed rolled his eyes. "I mean prove it, Oct," he said, gesturing to the open car door on the driver's side.
Octavius straightened up and put on a look of determination. "Very well. I shall."
The Roman all but stomped over to the driver's seat of the car, shutting the door behind him and settling in. Jed went over to the passenger's side, settling himself as well. Once they were both buckled in, he crossed his arms and gave Octavius a look that said "Well?"
Octavius ignored him and focused on beginning. Only... the driver's side was not what he expected. There were a few pedals on the floor, a gear shift with several settings that he could barely tell the difference between, and a dashboard chockfull of all sorts of buttons.
He gulped. This didn't look as easy as he thought. Jed had made it seem that way, the way his hands knew just where to go and when. Heck, the night the tablet was stolen was the first time Jed even drove, and it felt like he'd been doing it for ages!
Octavius pondered what to do... maybe a bit too long. He heard a chuckle next to him. He turned to find an amused look on Jed's face.
"Need some help gettin' started, partner?"
Octavius stubbornly refused. "Of course not," he said, sounding like he was disgusted at the thought of even being offered the help.
"Oh, yeah? Then what're those for?" Jed asked, pointing down to the pedals below Octavius's feet.
The Roman cursed the man in his head, for his question and for the smirk on his face that showed he knew Octavius was practically clueless to the answer. But Octavius wasn't going to let it get to him. He replied as coolly as he could. "This one here," he said, tapping the pedal he was referring to lightly with his right foot, "is the go. And this one," he said, tapping the other pedal with his left foot, "is the... stopper."
"It's called a brake, partner," Jed corrected.
"It is the same difference, Jedediah!" Octavius huffed in annoyance.
"Sure it is," Jed said, still chuckling. "And what's that for one?" he asked, pointing to the other pedal, next to the "stopper" on the left.
Octavius blinked. "Well..." He tried to press down on it, but it wasn't doing anything. Did it even have a purpose? The Roman gave a frustrated little groan. "Well," he said again, "I'm sure it hardly matters as much as this does," he concluded, putting his hand on the gear shift. He'd seen Jed use it plenty of times.
"All right. I'll letcha slide with that," Jed said. "So... what are you gonna do with that?" he asked about the gear shift.
"Uh..." Octavius looked at it. He saw little pictures and letters, but hadn't a clue as to what they meant. His fingers hovered over the gear shift, uncertain. Finally, he decided to take a chance with 'N.' But when he pressed down on the gas pedal, nothing happened.
He thought he heard the sound of a stifled laugh, but when he looked up at Jed, the cowboy was looking out the window, whistling.
Octavius frowned and tried the 'L' setting next, pleased to find that the car was moving. However, despite the motion, it was moving very slowly.
Octavius heard the sound from earlier again, and whipped his head up in time to find Jed seemingly coughing into his hand. Octavius knew otherwise, though. It was a poorly disguised cough, being that he could see Jed's smile behind his gloved hand, clear as day.
Not wishing to give up, Octavius turned back to the gear shift and switched it to the 'D' setting. And then the car started to lurch forward at a better speed.
"Atta boy!" Jed congratulated him. "Third time's the charm!"
Octavius shot him a look. "I hardly need your encouragement," he grumbled, truthfully a bit embarrassed for how long it took him to figure out. Jed would've been long gone on the road by now! But, he didn't mind that now. Now that he was moving, he focused on the driving, briefly adjusting the overhead mirror, checking out to the 'road' ahead (really just the sleek hallway floor), and peeking at the mirrors outside the car too. All in all, Octavius felt like he was doing pretty good. Well, except for one thing.
"Oooct," Jed complained, "this thing's movin' as slow as molasses!"
Octavius opened his mouth to protest, but quickly shut it again. While the stunts and obstacle courses made him feel uneasy, he'd be lying to say that he didn't enjoy the high-speed thrill of the car whenever it sped along. After all, he'd be whooping right alongside Jed as they raced through Central Park that first time. He relented. "I suppose I could speed up," he said, carefully pressing his foot harder on the gas pedal. The car accelerated forward faster than he anticipated, but it was an error taken in good stride. A smile stretched on Jed's face.
"All right! Now we're gettin' somewhere!"
Octavius couldn't help grinning, too. He was the one in control, and it felt good - the wheel in his grip, the revving of the engine in his ears, the sound of Jed laughing next to him.
He gave his own cheer and dared to press down on the gas even further. "WHOOO!"
"Yeah, boy! Now you see why I like it so much!" Jed shouted joyously.
Octavius laughed and Jed hollered, the two men thoroughly enjoying themselves so far as Octavius careened them down the halls. The cowboy looked over at the Roman.
"Know what, pal? You ain't such a bad driver after all!" Jed said.
Octavius beamed at the compliment, even more pleased that the doubt was seemingly erased from Jed's mind. "Do you mean it?" he asked, turning to look at the other man.
Jed was grinning at first, but the expression changed in a split second to that of alarm. "Octavius, LOOK OUT!"
The Roman jerked his eyes to the road, gasping. There was a herd of the African mammals, all stampeding their way!
"Great Jupiter!" he exclaimed, and upon instinct shielded his eyes... with both of his hands!
"'Tavius, NO! Don't let go!" Jed screamed, prying his right hand free and securing it back on the wheel. The cowboy kept his hand on firmly top of Oct's, jerking it to and fro on the wheel to help him swerve all the stomping hooves and paws that came their way. Several times they were missed by a hair, and once a zebra's hoof clipped one of the side mirrors, but they managed to get through undamaged.
Jed sat back in his seat in relief when they were out. "Whew!" he breathed, removing his hat and fanning himself with it. "That was close."
"JEDEDIAHHH!"
Octavius's scream immediately got the cowboy back to being alert. He spotted the reason for the Roman's fear - they were heading straight for a wall!
"TURN THE WHEEL, OCT!"
"Which way??"
"Right!"
Octavius was confused. "But we will hit the other wall!"
Jed was insistent, though. "We gotta turn right to go left!"
"Jedediah, that hardly makes sense!"
"IT'LL WORK, TRUST ME!"
"Jedediah..."
"Land sakes! Gimme that!"
Jed grabbed hold of the wheel with one of his hands, trying to turn the car one way.
Octavius resisted against him, trying to turn the other way.
"NO!"
"Quit fightin' me!"
"Jedediah, remove yourself!"
"You get off first!"
"JEDEDIAH!"
What resulted was the car turning neither way - it spun out! The car went in circles, spinning donuts and screeching its tires loudly.
Even louder were the cowboy and Roman's screams.
"AAAAAHHHH!"
C R A S H!
******************************
Larry, who had been busy listening to another one of Teddy's long-winded tales, heard the sound of the crash from all the way on the other side of the museum. Teddy himself heard it, too, and stopped talking as soon as it resounded. He gaped at the nightguard.
"Good heavens, Lawrence! What on earth was that?"
"I don't know... but I'm about to find out," he replied, quickly dashing off in the direction that he'd heard it.
It wasn't hard to find the spot, being that there were several folks already gathering around the area. Larry excused himself past some Neanderthals and Huns, the sight before him making his brows raise in surprise.
Below him he saw what used to be the toy car that he got for his miniature friends, only it was crushed, and its wheels were rolling away from the crash site. All four of them. Next to it were Jed and Octavius.
"You all right, boy?" the cowboy asked the Roman.
Octavius looked himself over, and then nodded. "Yes. I think so."
"Oh, good. Now I can do this!" Jed said, rearing his fist back and punching Octavius in the shoulder.
"OW!" the Roman yelped.
"I done spoke too soon when I said you were a good driver!" Jed shouted.
"Me?" Octavius said, appalled. "Should I remind you, Jedediah, that you were the one giving me preposterous instructions!"
"You guys!" Larry interrupted. "What happened?"
Right at the exact same time, Jed and Octavius pointed at each other and said the same exact thing.
"HE crashed the car!"
Octavius whirled on Jed. "I am not to blame!"
"Well, I ain't, either!"
"Somebody is."
"That somebody ain't me."
"Do not look at me, Jedediah. Take a look at your own reflection."
"Not before you do!"
"Guys," Larry groaned. Were they really going to fight right now?
Jed and Octavius glared at each other, each one trying to outdo their evil eye.
Then, just as Larry was sure that the fists would start flying, they did the unexpected - and burst out laughing.
Larry stared down at them, more confused than ever.
"Did... did I miss something?" he asked Atilla, who was next to him.
The Hun just shrugged.
Jed slung an arm around Octavius. "Boy, we're as crazy as road lizards, you 'n me."
"You are the 'crazier' one," Octavius quipped.
Jed snorted. "That's just a matter of opinion," he said. Then he glanced at their ruined vehicle. "Well. We ain't got a car now. Any other ideas?"
Octavius thought. "Hmm... I have the chariot," he suggested.
The cowboy looked at him curiously. "What's that?"
"A wagon of sorts, pulled by horses," Octavius explained. "It's a splendid form of transportation in Rome."
"Hmm," Jed said, thinking. "Does it go fast?"
Octavius thought some more. "Perhaps not as quickly as the car did, but I should say fast enough."
Jed grinned a toothy grin. "That's all I needed to hear!" he exclaimed. "Let's go!"
"Jed! Octavius! Wait!" Larry called, but they were already making their way out of there, Jed pulling Octavius by the wrist behind him.
With their departure, the gathered crowd started to leave, too. Except for Larry. He sighed, stooping down to clean up the remains of the car.
It wasn't long before something whooshed past him. Larry double-took, and saw that the miniatures were back, this time in the very chariot that Octavius had been mentioning.
"Onward, my noble steeds!" Octavius called to the horses, shaking the reins.
Jed was whooping next to him. "WaHOOO! We're just livin' the dream, Gigantor!"
Larry shook his head, sweeping up the last of the broken car. But he couldn't stop the little smirk that grew on his face.
Jedediah, actively about to die: Well, this cowboy has run his last rodeo. Y’all’ve been mighty fine to me. Remember me as I was, wild and free like ‘merica was born to be. Manifest destiny boys, see y’all on the other side.
Jedediah:
Jedediah:
Jedediah, sitting back up and turning to Octavius: Sorry, just had one of those life-flashing-before-my-eyes moments and I reckon this is a mighty odd time to ask but are we in love???
Octavius: …Yes. Have been for fifty years. Nice of you to notice.
Jedediah: Man, I’m an idiot! I real do love you something strong, Oct <3
