KARKAT VANTAS: LORD OF SHIPPING

SURE, THAT WORKS, I GUESS, BUT IT HAS TO BE SOMEONE YOU TRUST. IT CAN BE ANY OLD ASSHOLE OFF THE STREET, BECAUSE THEY MIGHT TRY TO FUCKING MURDER YOU OR SOMETHING INSTEAD OF DOING THEIR JOB.

damn but that wa2 my plan. ii ju2t wanted 2ome random 2tranger. or more liike ii probably need 2ome random 2tranger. after all ii only tru2t one per2on.

#((HI! Thanks for following!))#aradiannemegido

HAHA FUCKING HA. VERY FUNNY SOLLUX. SERIOUSLY ASSHOLE, PICK SOMEONE USEFUL OKAY. LIKE I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE THE ONE PERSON YOU TRUST? IF YOU CAN ONLY TRUST THEM, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE THEM BE THE ONE THAT DOES THIS.

#doomedduality

aradiannemegido started following you

WOAH, THERE'S A SHIT TON OF ARADIA'S IN THIS DREAMBUBBLE NOW WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL. NOT THAT I DON'T MIND. I MEAN, FEEL FREE. IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE TO HAVE TOO MANY ARADIA'S? IS THERE A POINT WHERE YOU GUYS JUST COLLECTIVELY BECOME REALLY ANNOYING? I GUESS I'LL FIND OUT.

YEAH, I GUESS YOU DON’T HAVE A LOT OF MOTIVATION FOR SAYING SOME THING LIKE THAT. PRETTY FUCKING AWFUL TYPO. WAY TO GET A GUY ALL FUCKING WORKED UP AND SHIT. WHAT WERE YOU EVEN TRYING TO TYPE? “IT’S NOT LIKE I’M ….PEACHY”? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU WERE EVEN TRYING TO TELL ME, IF YOU HADN’T HAD A LITTLE EPIC FAIL THERE?

its not really that important or relevvant really

im sure you got other candidates for that quadrant anywways

i wwas joking

it wwas a joke

i didnt mean it

heh

UH, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

DUDE, I HAVE NEVER HAD ANYONE EVEN EXPRESS THE FAINTEST INTEREST OF BEING IN THAT QUADRANT WITH ME.

YOUR JOKE IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS IT COMES.

god dammit

point is you wwerent supposed to read that it wwas dumb

and i guess i could talk about it if you think that i should

i mean talking about being pale for you or any of you or all of you

timelines are wweird…

IT’S NOT DUMB IF THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY FEELING.

I THINK YOU SHOULD TALK TO ME ABOUT IT, BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT, AND I WANT TO UNDERSTAND. I PROMISE I WON’T GET MAD OR SHIT LIKE THAT.

wwell thing is you see

ivve knowwn kar since like almost before I met fef and

hes alwways been there for me wwhen things wwere bein shitty

evven if hes kinda there for evveryone but I think sometimes I might be a little pale for him

evven if ivve nevver really felt that for anyone else

GOD THIS IS SO WEIRD BECAUSE YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE WE’RE TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE, WHICH IS TRUE, IN SOME WAYS, BUT I’M ALSO HIM.

OKAY, YOU ARE PRACTICALLY FALLING OVER ON ALL YOUR PALE FEELINGS. SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? IT’S NOT GOING TO BE EASY TO DEAL WITH THIS, CONSIDERING THERE ARE PROBABLY A MILLION KARKAT’S RUNNING AROUND. YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT IF YOU’RE PALE FOR JUST YOUR KARKAT OR IF YOU’RE PALE FOR ALL OF US, BECAUSE THAT’S A REALLY BIG DIFFERENCE.

it wwould be wweird if I wwas pale for all of you I guess

evven if I feel this wway I dont gotta do anything about it…

#((no worries! I admire you for being able to do his quirk on a phone haha))#hipsterdouchefish

YEAH, IT WOULD BE KIND OF WEIRD, CONSIDERING YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW MOST OF US. YOU KNOW THEM AS KARKAT'S BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THEM AS INDIVIDUALS. SO, IT'S PROBABLY BETTER THAT YOU AREN'T PALE FOR ALL OF THEM.

NO, YOU DON'T HAVE TO, BUT ARE YOU REALLY SURE THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT TO DO? LOOK HOW PINING AFTER FEFERI TURNED OUT? SHE DUMPED YOU PALE AND SHE DOESN'T SEEM LIKE SHE'S ALL THAT INTERESTED IN YOUR RED. MY ADVICE IS JUST TO COME FLAT OUT AND SAY IT. EVEN IF HE REFUSES AT LEAST HE KNOWS, AND MAYBE HE'LL THINK ABOUT IT AND CHANGE HIS MIND.

I HAVE NO FAITH IN YOU WHATSOEVER. SOLLUX, BUT I’LL TRY, I GUESS. JUST MAKE SURE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND SHIT. I’M NOT YOUR MOIRAIL OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT BUT I DON’T WANT MY BEST FRIEND TO DIE BECAUSE HE FORGOT TO EAT OR SOMETHING. THAT’S THE MOST RETARDED WAY ANYONE CAN DIE.

how about ii get 2omeone two come liive wiith me? ii’ll pay them two make 2ure ii eat and then make them an2wer phone call2 and deal wiith people.

SURE, THAT WORKS, I GUESS, BUT IT HAS TO BE SOMEONE YOU TRUST. IT CAN BE ANY OLD ASSHOLE OFF THE STREET, BECAUSE THEY MIGHT TRY TO FUCKING MURDER YOU OR SOMETHING INSTEAD OF DOING THEIR JOB.

#doomedduality

SEE, YOU SAY SHIT LIKE THAT, AND THAT’S WHAT GETS ME FUCKING NERVOUS ALL OVER AGAIN. BECAUSE HALF THE TIME WHEN YOU SAY THAT, YOU DON’T HAVE THINGS UNDER CONTROL AT ALL.

2eriiou2ly what can ii me22 up wiith thii2? jeez have 2ome faiith iin me KK.

I HAVE NO FAITH IN YOU WHATSOEVER. SOLLUX, BUT I'LL TRY, I GUESS. JUST MAKE SURE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND SHIT. I'M NOT YOUR MOIRAIL OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT BUT I DON'T WANT MY BEST FRIEND TO DIE BECAUSE HE FORGOT TO EAT OR SOMETHING. THAT'S THE MOST RETARDED WAY ANYONE CAN DIE.

#doomedduality

YEAH, I GUESS YOU DON’T HAVE A LOT OF MOTIVATION FOR SAYING SOME THING LIKE THAT. PRETTY FUCKING AWFUL TYPO. WAY TO GET A GUY ALL FUCKING WORKED UP AND SHIT. WHAT WERE YOU EVEN TRYING TO TYPE? “IT’S NOT LIKE I’M ….PEACHY”? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU WERE EVEN TRYING TO TELL ME, IF YOU HADN’T HAD A LITTLE EPIC FAIL THERE?

its not really that important or relevvant really

im sure you got other candidates for that quadrant anywways

i wwas joking

it wwas a joke

i didnt mean it

heh

UH, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

DUDE, I HAVE NEVER HAD ANYONE EVEN EXPRESS THE FAINTEST INTEREST OF BEING IN THAT QUADRANT WITH ME.

YOUR JOKE IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS IT COMES.

god dammit

point is you wwerent supposed to read that it wwas dumb

and i guess i could talk about it if you think that i should

i mean talking about being pale for you or any of you or all of you

timelines are wweird…

IT’S NOT DUMB IF THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE ACTUALLY FEELING.

I THINK YOU SHOULD TALK TO ME ABOUT IT, BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT, AND I WANT TO UNDERSTAND. I PROMISE I WON’T GET MAD OR SHIT LIKE THAT.

wwell thing is you see

ivve knowwn kar since like almost before I met fef and

hes alwways been there for me wwhen things wwere bein shitty

evven if hes kinda there for evveryone but I think sometimes I might be a little pale for him

evven if ivve nevver really felt that for anyone else

GOD THIS IS SO WEIRD BECAUSE YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE, WHICH IS TRUE, IN SOME WAYS, BUT I'M ALSO HIM.

OKAY, YOU ARE PRACTICALLY FALLING OVER ON ALL YOUR PALE FEELINGS. SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? IT'S NOT GOING TO BE EASY TO DEAL WITH THIS, CONSIDERING THERE ARE PROBABLY A MILLION KARKAT'S RUNNING AROUND. YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT IF YOU'RE PALE FOR JUST YOUR KARKAT OR IF YOU'RE PALE FOR ALL OF US, BECAUSE THAT'S A REALLY BIG DIFFERENCE.

#hipsterdouchefish

((I’ve noticed nobody is ever on when I am

What’s everyones timezone and when are you all online?))

buckobarns-deactivated20160718

((i live in california! i tend to be online from seven to nine or so, but it really depends on how busy i am. sometimes i don't have the chance to get on at all. yay college!))

My mum said if I got more than 600,000 notes I was allowed to adopt a chinchilla.

I tried this last year, but I only managed 8 notes.

She believes that there’s no way tumblr cares that much.

Everyone’s getting fluffy animals and I feel sad because no one wants me to have a chinchilla :(

deandearie-deactivated20131107

you’re getting a chinchilla ok those things are adorable

let’s do this folks

#IF THIS PERSON DOESN'T GET THEIR FLUFFY ANIMAL #I WILL SHIT ON ALL OF YOU

OH, ALRIGHT, SO I GUESS THAT’S ALRIGHT.

AS LONG AS YOU’RE NOT GOING TO SPONTANEOUSLY COM BUST OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT BECAUSE OF HOW AWFUL YOUR JOB IS I’M NOT TOO CONCERNED.

no need two worry KK. ii got thii2 under control.

#HAHA #HALF #GET IT #WHAT THE FUCK YOUR HALF JOKES ARE STUPID #doomedduality

SEE, YOU SAY SHIT LIKE THAT, AND THAT'S WHAT GETS ME FUCKING NERVOUS ALL OVER AGAIN. BECAUSE HALF THE TIME WHEN YOU SAY THAT, YOU DON'T HAVE THINGS UNDER CONTROL AT ALL.

SHIT, SORRY. I DIDN’T MEAN TO BRING UP BAD MEMORIES. I’VE NOTICED YOU SORT OF HATE ERIDAN, LIKE, A LOT. I’M NOT SAYING YOU’RE ACTUALLY BLACK, BUT I’VE NOTICED YOU LIKE TO REBLOG A LOT OF PICTURES OF THEM AND INSULT HIM IN THE TAGS.

NO, IT’S ALRIGHT. I WAS JUST BEING...

HOW COULD I FAIL TO NOTICE? IT'S KIND OF REALLY FUCKING OBVIOUS.

YEAH, OKAY, THAT'S NICE FOR YOU, BUT I DIDN'T DO SHIT EXCEPT YELL AND THINK I WAS A BADASS ALL THE TIME WHEN I WAS ALIVE.

#archaelogistmaid

refulgens-deactivated20151204

regardless i believe they have an odd version of it in human terms

not quite the same as quadrants but similar i believe

refulgens-deactivated20151204

I THOUGHT ALL THEY HAD WAS THEIR STUPID FRIENDSHIP THING. YOU CAN HAVE A BILLION GOD DAMN FRIENDS, AND THEY WON’T ALL BE YOUR MOIRAIL.

well yes

but i believe they only have one

‘best friend’

im not sure about that though

OH, ALRIGHT. SO, THAT'S THEIR WEIRD HUMAN ALMOST MOIRAIL. A "BEST" FRIEND. I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE.

#time-maiden

You are swearing a lot, are you not?

*She pouts a little backing her hand, not trying to insult or annoy him. At least not more then he already seems to be*

Derse pajamas? What the h… What is Derse?

*She sighs deeply and sits down where she was standing and keeps staring at Karkat, especially his horns. At least she could look at them, if touching is not allowed*

What are you, some kind of princess? Do you have a fucking problem with swearing? *He rubs his temples. This is going to take a while to explain*

Alright, first, are you playing a game called Sgrub? Or Sburb. If you are, then your dreamself is who you are when you are asleep in the game. It sort of acts as an extra life, in case you do something retarded. Derse is one of the two places you can end up as a dreamer. You’re either a Derse dreamer, or you’re a Prospit dreamer, like I was.

*She frowns a little at his reply and folds her arms, staring him down as if he was insulting her mother.* YES, I AM PRINCESS IF YOU WANT TO KNOW.

*She almost screamed it with the most offended royalty tone she could have gotten through, stomping her feet on the ground. Hell, apparently it was a dream. Another one of this weird once. She could be a princess if she wants to* And yeah, well, I do wait for the game called Sburb, how did you know that? Ah, right, it’s my subconsciousness. Dumb me.

*She hits her forehead with her palm in sudden realization*

*He totally buys it, hook line and sinker. After all, he already knew one princess, Feferi, so it’s not that much of a stretch.* Oh, shit, you’re not pulling my leg about that? Sorry, your, highness. I had no idea I was in the presence of royalty. I didn’t even realize there was a thing humans did.

Uh, no, I’m not your subconscious. I know because I played the game and that’s why I”m here in this useless dream bubble.

*She was suprised, which only showed on her face for like couple of seconds. Then she totally decided to go with it. Not like somebody is gonna hurt her for pretetnding to be a royalty for a change. Not like she didn’t learn to be an arrogant bitch from her friend*

Well, it is totally a thing where I come from, so mind your tongue… Peasant!

*Yeah it sounds about right, she decided and then pull on a smug face*

So tell me about this game you played. I am all ears.

Woah, hold your fucking hoofbeasts now. How do you know I’m a peasant. You don’t! I’m be a badass knight, so I could totally chop your head off, if I wanted to.

Sgrub? There’s not really much to tell, considering I come from a doomed timeline. Everyone enters the game, and you get to your land, and there’s all these useless quests and you have to get through these fucking gates, and try to get as powerful as possible so you can defeat the black queen and king and win the game. Of course, I just ended up getting killed, so I don’t really give a shit about any of that now.

Whoaaaa, aren’t knight like suppose to protect princesses not cut their heads off?

*You puff your cheeks and make all totally funny insulted face*

Sooo, when we play it there is possibility of some timelines where we like fail and die? That is kinda tragic and depressing to think about.

Yeah, but you’re not my princess, so I’m not obligated to protect you. Unless, I guess, you were in mortal peril or something, and then I’d just save you out of some weird knight obligation. *He is getting way too deep into this whole actual knight thing.*

It’s going to happen. The only thing you can do is make sure as best you can that you aren’t the doomed timeline. Just don’t screw up and try not to do anything too idiotic, and you should be okay.

*You chuckle a little at his response. Yeah, pretending to be a princess has paid off, the guys actually sounds a little bit nicer now. Well, except threating to take your head off, but you can look past the threat*

Hm, not doing anything idiotic. I will remember that. So… Aren’t you like a little bored here?

What do you do here most of the time? Like maybe, except meeting strangers like me.

Fuck yeah, I'm bored. That's why I'm talking to all these random assholes. Besides that? I watch a lot of movies and tv shows and write about the different potential romantic pairings. I've been kind of slacking on that lately though.

#ironicroleplayer

YEAH, I GUESS YOU DON’T HAVE A LOT OF MOTIVATION FOR SAYING SOME THING LIKE THAT. PRETTY FUCKING AWFUL TYPO. WAY TO GET A GUY ALL FUCKING WORKED UP AND SHIT. WHAT WERE YOU EVEN TRYING TO TYPE? “IT’S NOT LIKE I’M ….PEACHY”? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU WERE EVEN TRYING TO TELL ME, IF YOU HADN’T HAD A LITTLE EPIC FAIL THERE?

its not really that important or relevvant really

im sure you got other candidates for that quadrant anywways

i wwas joking

it wwas a joke

i didnt mean it

heh

UH, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?

DUDE, I HAVE NEVER HAD ANYONE EVEN EXPRESS THE FAINTEST INTEREST OF BEING IN THAT QUADRANT WITH ME.

YOUR JOKE IS ABOUT AS CLOSE AS IT COMES.

god dammit

point is you wwerent supposed to read that it wwas dumb

and i guess i could talk about it if you think that i should

i mean talking about being pale for you or any of you or all of you

timelines are wweird…

#SO #TALK TO ME?#hipsterdouchefish

IT'S NOT DUMB IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY FEELING.

I THINK YOU SHOULD TALK TO ME ABOUT IT, BECAUSE THIS IS IMPORTANT, AND I WANT TO UNDERSTAND. I PROMISE I WON'T GET MAD OR SHIT LIKE THAT.

You are swearing a lot, are you not?

*She pouts a little backing her hand, not trying to insult or annoy him. At least not more then he already seems to be*

Derse pajamas? What the h… What is Derse?

*She sighs deeply and sits down where she was standing and keeps staring at Karkat, especially his horns. At least she could look at them, if touching is not allowed*

What are you, some kind of princess? Do you have a fucking problem with swearing? *He rubs his temples. This is going to take a while to explain*

Alright, first, are you playing a game called Sgrub? Or Sburb. If you are, then your dreamself is who you are when you are asleep in the game. It sort of acts as an extra life, in case you do something retarded. Derse is one of the two places you can end up as a dreamer. You’re either a Derse dreamer, or you’re a Prospit dreamer, like I was.

*She frowns a little at his reply and folds her arms, staring him down as if he was insulting her mother.* YES, I AM PRINCESS IF YOU WANT TO KNOW.

*She almost screamed it with the most offended royalty tone she could have gotten through, stomping her feet on the ground. Hell, apparently it was a dream. Another one of this weird once. She could be a princess if she wants to* And yeah, well, I do wait for the game called Sburb, how did you know that? Ah, right, it’s my subconsciousness. Dumb me.

*She hits her forehead with her palm in sudden realization*

*He totally buys it, hook line and sinker. After all, he already knew one princess, Feferi, so it’s not that much of a stretch.* Oh, shit, you’re not pulling my leg about that? Sorry, your, highness. I had no idea I was in the presence of royalty. I didn’t even realize there was a thing humans did.

Uh, no, I’m not your subconscious. I know because I played the game and that’s why I”m here in this useless dream bubble.

*She was suprised, which only showed on her face for like couple of seconds. Then she totally decided to go with it. Not like somebody is gonna hurt her for pretetnding to be a royalty for a change. Not like she didn’t learn to be an arrogant bitch from her friend*

Well, it is totally a thing where I come from, so mind your tongue… Peasant!

*Yeah it sounds about right, she decided and then pull on a smug face*

So tell me about this game you played. I am all ears.

Woah, hold your fucking hoofbeasts now. How do you know I’m a peasant. You don’t! I’m be a badass knight, so I could totally chop your head off, if I wanted to.

Sgrub? There’s not really much to tell, considering I come from a doomed timeline. Everyone enters the game, and you get to your land, and there’s all these useless quests and you have to get through these fucking gates, and try to get as powerful as possible so you can defeat the black queen and king and win the game. Of course, I just ended up getting killed, so I don’t really give a shit about any of that now.

Whoaaaa, aren’t knight like suppose to protect princesses not cut their heads off?

*You puff your cheeks and make all totally funny insulted face*

Sooo, when we play it there is possibility of some timelines where we like fail and die? That is kinda tragic and depressing to think about.

Yeah, but you're not my princess, so I'm not obligated to protect you. Unless, I guess, you were in mortal peril or something, and then I'd just save you out of some weird knight obligation. *He is getting way too deep into this whole actual knight thing.*

It's going to happen. The only thing you can do is make sure as best you can that you aren't the doomed timeline. Just don't screw up and try not to do anything too idiotic, and you should be okay.

#ironicroleplayer

YEAH, I GUESS YOU DON’T HAVE A LOT OF MOTIVATION FOR SAYING SOME THING LIKE THAT. PRETTY FUCKING AWFUL TYPO. WAY TO GET A GUY ALL FUCKING WORKED UP AND SHIT. WHAT WERE YOU EVEN TRYING TO TYPE? “IT’S NOT LIKE I’M ….PEACHY”? I DON’T FUCKING KNOW WHAT YOU WERE EVEN TRYING TO TELL ME, IF YOU HADN’T HAD A LITTLE EPIC FAIL THERE?

its not really that important or relevvant really

im sure you got other candidates for that quadrant anywways

i wwas joking

it wwas a joke

i didnt mean it

heh