Pieces.

That's what life is about.

[shirleyyewang]

随想

总以为 付出总是有回报的

总以为 一个人总比两个人自由有效率

总以为 未来总是很美好的

总以为 有些人是不会变的

总以为 作用力是相互的

总以为 得不到的总是最好的

总以为 有些人是你想的这么在乎你的

总以为 一直可以像小时候一样 无忧无虑

而事实是 有没有回报是取决于运气的

而事实是  一个人总是可以完全松懈 没有羞耻心

而事实是 未来在哪里其实你还不知道

而事实是 有些人只是在你心里是不变的 -不要骗自己了

而事实是 作用力是相互的 但做功却是相反的

而事实是 得到了才甘心才没有遗憾 哪怕不是最好的结局

而事实是 你根本不知道别人的想法 有时候连自己的都无法控制好

而事实是 你永远不知道未来会发生什么 而焦虑也让你不能活在现在

[shirleyyewang]

Should we change the genuine us?

It's inevitable that we need to do whatever it takes to archive something that's important to us. You need to compromise, to negotiate, to change the personality you usually possess or even try to pretend, to conceal your true feelings. However, does all of these really worth your change? I really feel horrible when I found out that I'm unfamiliar with myself sometimes, when I have to be someone else who seems more outgoing, more easygoing, more kind and less mean, less sarcastic... In one word, becoming someone who's a social flower, who possesses all the essential and excellent social skills. These people can get a lot more. But how many of us, what portion of these social excellence are representing the genuinely them? Probably very small. People are just becoming more and more material because that's what they Can get most out of it. Do we have any approaches for it? I don't know.

[shirleyyewang]

THAT'S ME

One thing I have recognized about myself. I think I won't be so clear about till I write it down, so here I am.

I am really not good at competing for friendship or any kind of relationship. I see things they way they should be and I am not a strong proponent to change it for my own will. In my understanding, no one can be changed until they are willing to change themselves. 

Some people fade away, some people stay. 

Usually i think there is no way to keep someone by your side if they are not willing to. However, some people did that and they succeed. That's the only time I doubt about my opinion. It was so hard to put your self-esteem under the one you care about so much. Sometimes even if I am willing to do so, it was just so hard to show them, to act out, to speak up your care. 

I guess they way I deal with this is let time tell. it's not I am not willing to make some efforts to keep the relationship, it's even not I do not cherish those people. This is just who I am. i do not want to keep something which is out of someone's mind. I might be stupid, but that's me.

[shirleyyewang]

The importance of learning about yourself.

One thing I learned these days is how important it is for us to learn about our strengths, core values, standards. 

The process of thinking of these values was struggling and not perfect. However, I strongly feel the journey I've been struggled for is a growth for me. Every time I retrospect and think of these standards and values I have, I become more and more self-aware.

The five things I've jotted down for my life: Happiness, Optimism, Responsibility, Fairness, Trust.

It was interesting to see how people from different backgrounds have had different values that they cherish the most. Also, it was interesting to know people have different working values, life values and values how they treat people.

It actually bothered me a lot. Should people bounce around there values and act as different persons under different circumstances? Does being different equal to not being genuine? Can people be different while still be genuine at the same time? 

I never got through these questions to delve into the truly and genuine idea of people. Some people I thought I am really familiar with can suddenly become a stranger in a click. That sounds really awful but it is the truth anyways. 

I really hate being around people that they act as if they are your friends but actually they don't think they are. The worst part of it is that you treat them sincerely with your genuine heart. It is always too difficult to measure how people genuinely treat you and we can never reach a perfect balance in a relationship. Should we compromise? Should we accept how sympathetic it is? 

I think they way I am gonna deal with it is as follows: 1) never disobey my values.

2) treat people genuinely, never be afraid of betrayal.

3) admits that perfect balance is unattainable and cherish those whom you are willing to sacrifice a little of your self-esteem and those who are willing to sacrifice their self-esteem for you. 

4) never despise yourself. you are you for a reason and don't let that become your weakness. 

5) life is short. we should learn to struggle and fight for it while at the same times, admits its blemishes and laugh at it.