Shit Bern Says @shitbernsays-blog - Tumblr Blog

Last year i was going to get a pet tarantula, and then I realized that I was arachnophobic.

Bern

So this weekend is

Fred Fest and that means Bern will be saying a lot of crazy shit. This might mean that i will finally be able to post about some of the strange places she has been known to pee.

#ShitBernsays #drunk bern #fred fest #drunk everyone

I would fuck him sideways, and by that i mean i love you God

Bern

#ShitBernsays #uhhhhh?#i really have no idea

NOOOOOOOO my ass is sun burnt. I have a tan line on my butt crack. Ahhhh my butt is burnt, I burnt my butt.

-Bern

#ShitBernsays #tanning #sun burnt ass

I don't think I miss him. I was just really emotional because I was watching One Direction.

Bern

#ShitBernsays #one direction #hardcore fangirl

Me: Have you ever heard of Harold and Maude?

Bern: I am on a website called marijuana.com

#ShitBernsays #marijuana #happy 420 four days late

I don't think there would ever be a chill zombie show... yo dude i just want to eat some brains and talk about life. That would be my kind of zombie show it would be called zombies are people too.

-Bern

#shitbernsays #zombies

I could probably bounce a quarter off of his ass and it would just go off into the sky!

Bern

#ShitBernsays

I think i am conservative because I like to conserve trees

Bern

#ShitBernsays #conservatives #trees

Vampires are afraid of garlic, Ware wolves are afraid of silver bullets, and every bad thing is afraid of my farts.

Bern

#ShitBernsays #farts #vampires #ware wolves

I should be an actress. Romeo oh Romeo let down your long hair... ? And this is the reason that I cannot be an actress, unless he has a long fucking weave.

Bern

#ShitBernsays #romeo #actress #weave

If I had a weiner, I would pee out the window.

Bern

#ShitBernsays #if Bern was a boy...#weiner

Sometimes I fart by my dad and he pretends that he doesn't hear it, so I do it again.

Bern

#ShitBernsays #farts

He told that i look pretty today. I thought that was a nice complement until i thought, wow that must mean I look like a potato on other days.

Bern

#ShitBernsays #potato #pretty Bern

For some reason Bern was not a fan of this picture.

#ShitBernsays #one direction #beards #sexy sexy beards

Oh my God, this guy keeps posting naked pictures of himself. I was going to unfollow him, but his nipples are really scary.

Bern

I have more love for a band thousands of miles away, more than I do for any of the guys on campus!

Bern

#one direction #ShitBernsays

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