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@shithcppens
i am NOTHING without pretend, i know my THOUGHTS ; can’t live WITHOUT them. i know my FAULTS but i can’t HIDE them. i still keep my BABY TEETH in my bedside jewelry. i don’t need another FRIEND when most of them i can barely keep up with. i’m PERFECTLY able to HOLD my own hand, but i still can’t kiss my own NECK.
ind. priv. rick grimes
BETH · GREENE.
· · when it came to people beth sincerely cared about, the blonde was ready to take** immediate** action - like back at the prison when maggie and glenn had been kidnapped and taken to woodbury, she didn’t hesitate to step in and volunteer to go out and retrieve them. although she didn’t end up going, the fact that she was willing to spoke volumes; people often underestimated beth greene and what she was capable of. maybe if they weren’t so overprotective and didn’t shelter her as much, she would’ve been able to learn how to fight, just like her big sister. but now that the prison was gone and her dad was **GONE **and rick was severely injured, beth knew it was time for her to step up.
· · she avoids his harsh gaze, knowing that some sort of complaint or scold was sitting on the tip of his tongue, just waiting to slip past his lips.·‘how could you be so stupid? it’s dangerous out there, you could’ve gotten killed!’·a hand comes up to rub away the tension in her shoulders from the heavy load of cans. she nods at his question. ··❝ yeah, i did. i found a small store not too far from here, most of it was looted but i managed to find these.·❞ · chin motions towards the cans neatly placed on the counter.
· · ❝ ya’ just looked so peaceful sleeping, i didn’t have the heart to wake ya’. plus i could’ve done it on my own, i DID do it on my own. if i woke you up, you wouldn’t have let me go. the only way you’re gonna get better is by resting. ❞ · she didn’t need another father, rick was treating her like a little girl and honestly, it bothered the hell out of her. so much for a THANK YOU.
· · a sigh falls from her mouth as fingers twiddle with a can, blue eyes nearly rolling to the back of her head. ··❝ i’m FINE. ya’ don’t gotta worry so much about me, rick. i’m a big girl. now sit down, you shouldn’t be up on your feet. ya’ hungry? ❞ ·
· · · · · rick swallows heavily when she starts saying she’s · FINE · on her own. · · that she didn’t · NEED · rick going after her every few seconds, · telling her what to · DO · and how to do it. · · the way she flaunts herself; · like this was some kind of · REVELATION · and she’s a new person from the prison. · · rick hadn’t let beth out of his sight even at the prison. · · every morning she was at the same spot; · judith in her · ARMS · and a bottle to her lips. · · rick grabs his iPOD · and headphones and he’s off to farm. · · such a · SIMPLE · life; · and he guesses that beth didn’t exactly feel she was exerting her · MAXIMUM · potential. · · rick’s blue eyes watch as she looks up at him and in that moment he · FEELS · like a father.
· · · · · judith’s asleep, · and he’s curious to see exactly · WHAT · she’s got. · ··‘ · we should get a move on finding some · OTHER · place to stay. · · shouldn’t be too late to find some place that doesn’t smell like · ROTTEN FLESH · and · DEATH. ··‘ · · rick’s comment is said half under his breath as he stands by her side and picks up the cans with bruised hands and dry, · bloodied knuckles. · ··‘ · how much did you get? ··‘ · · rick isn’t fixed on questioning · HOW · but rather · HOW MUCH. · · he figures she’s her own person; · he can’t · CONTROL · her or what she does. · · the · LEAST · he could do is shove a gun in any asshole’s face who gets in the way or · KILL · any walker that puts her at risk.
· · · · ··‘ · i’m feelin’ fine, ··‘ · · ·rick lies through his teeth but he knows they · HAVE · to keep moving. · · whether it’s finding the others or just getting to another place where they could sustain living for a period of time until they’re ready to move out again would be their goal. · ··‘ · and · YOU_?_ ··‘ · · rick asks quietly as he realizes the girl had lost her father still within the past · 24 HOURS · and hadn’t made one word about it. · · not to mention her sister is · UNKNOWN. · ··‘ · how are you doing? ··‘ · · rick’s hands stack the cans as he glances down at his side to her, · noticeably taller than her as he piles cans.
BETH GREENE.
She wasn’t ready to talk about Gorman, about what he TRIED to do—or the fact that she had killed two men while inside those walls. Grady was an awful place and she wanted to rid herself from the awful MEMORIES. She’d tell Rick about them, she’d open up to him when the time was right but right now the thought of Gorman made her hands tremble slightly. The blonde finally averted her gaze back to the man beside her as he spoke about her not being the same girl she was back at the PRISON. She had changed so much, adapted to this world and she just hoped her father would be proud of the WOMAN she was today.
The blonde shook her head lightly, ❝You don’t scare me RICK, you make me feel safe.❞ She said softly. That was the truth, she felt invincible when she was by his side. He did what needed to be done, he made the difficult choices and that’s why they were still here TODAY. He killed Pete and Alexandria would be better off without him.
rick’s quiet. he sees the way she trembles, and how she gets so FRIGHTENED over the mention of the name and place that he figures it’s best to drop it at once. he thinks back to when he found her; how HAPPY she was to be back. how daryl finally stopped stirring, and how maggie could finally sleep at night. and rick? well, rick can’t sleep if beth’s not near him now and when she’s not, he gets to the point where he WANTS to sleep but just can’t get past that gray area of being awake and sleeping blissfully. fingers inch back and forth in her palm, and he lifts her hand to his lips and kisses the back of it with gentle lips.
‘ my pleasure, ‘ rick huffs out a laugh before showing a slight smile as he looks at the girl with LIGHT eyes. the man feels reassured that beth has some skill at the world outside of the walls, and that she can HOLD HER OWN. but still, he loves her and would DIE protecting her. like he would with anyone else in the group. ‘ you make me feel like ME. ‘ and even he’s confused at by what he means, but it’s so true. she makes him feel like RICK GRIMES. not a killer, psychopath, or GOVERNOR.
plotting call please?? i have so much muse for rick && need more threads!! like to plot!!
RICK GRIMES.
Rick finds himself LAUGHING right along with her, realizing quickly how long it’s been since he laughed with such ease – appreciating the rarity of these moments….and how nice it was to hear her laugh, too. Blue eyes move towards Andrea, a smile still on his lips as laughter fades away, “Y’know, I never pegged me as a FARMER either,” one more small chuckle, “but it’s actually kinda relaxing and someone’s gotta do it if we want t’make anything of this place. I’ll let you know if anyone needs a good lawyer though, can’t make any promises,” he adds in a TEASING tone, bumping her knee with his own as he sits beside her. Rick doesn’t make much comment on the reference to his SLEEP schedule seeing that it was far from the truth and he’s sure she knows that – as much as he wishes it weren’t. “How’s it goin’ up here?” he asks after a short pause, having MISSED the ease of their back and forth. So much had changed, it was a comfort to see that some things could stay the same. “– Looks like a quiet night.”
the thought of RICK GRIMES as a FARMER makes her smile, assuring her theory that anyone could change. he’s better, now. the HOSTILE grimes had scared her when she visited ... and she’s more than happy to see that the rick grimes she knew in ATLANTA wasn’t entirely gone. she purses her lips at the mention of how things were going; and she knows WHAT HE MEANS because she’s been up in the tower non-stop it seems like. or maybe he’s just checking in; hell, she’d been on watch non-stop before. but she doesn’t look at him and she turns to her side to avoid eye contact. ‘ yeah, it’s quiet as usual. ‘ the day was just beginning, but that didn’t mean a thing. HE was out there.
‘ rick, can i ask you something? ‘ the question is so OUT OF THE BLUE that she even forces a faint smile to make it not seem so SERIOUS.
send me “if i were dating you” anons
LORI GRIMES.
“Rick!” The way he’d jumped from the topic of their son having a crush to whether or not he’d had “the talk” alarmed her, her eyes wide but in good humor. “Hey, don’t look at me. That’s supposed to be his father’s job,” she chided, with a crooked smile.
Lori sighed and shook her head. “I never told you, but he started askin’ questions when we were on the road.” When Lori was pregnant and Rick wouldn’t look her in the eye, but before Carl began shunning her too. “He knows enough.” Nothing was more uncomfortable than trying to explain how babies were made while Lori herself was having a baby. “He doesn’t need the details or…ideas.”
rick’s got a smile on his face that’s real and GENUINE as he chides over the fact that they were focused on being parents like before. rick wasn’t fooled, and he knew the world outside of the walls was the same as ever but there was some comfort in knowing that he could be an actual PARENT with the modern day struggles. next thing he’d know, they’d discover the BULLDOGS would be perfectly fine and in-tact with the ability to play on his living room television. WHAT A DREAM THAT WOULD BE?
and he glances out the window of their kitchen, and can’t get that STUPID smile off his face. ‘ let’s just hope that the anderson boys don’t have any of those IDEAS already ... as much as I love judy, i think i can only take ONE baby at a time. ‘
BETH GREENE.
The blonde feels herself relax into the feeling of his touch, lacing her fingers with his own before letting out a breath she didn’t even realize she was holding in. Her thumb gently brushes over his knuckle for a MOMENT before her baby blue hues flicker to meet his own. She can’t help but to feel slightly GUILTY as Rick said that he was thinking about her before he killed the man, but she trusted his decision regardless. It was better that the man was no longer around, he was a risk and they didn’t need that around Judith or Carl.
Her gaze quickly averted from him at the mention of Grady, sometimes it felt like so long ago and other times it felt like she had only escaped that HELL yesterday. She could feel her her heartbeat pick up once more, her hand instinctively squeezing his own as she tried to figure out what to say to him. The thing was she hadn’t even told MAGGIE anything that had happened at Grady. She always promised herself that one day she’d be ready to talk about it but it was starting to feel like that day would never come. ❝I—❞She began to say, tongue darting out to wet her lips—her mouth felt so damn dry as she didn’t even know where to begin. ❝A lot happened Rick.❞ She was finally able to say, her gaze finally meeting his once more. ❝There was Dawn—❞ She began to say, her free hand motioning to the scars on her face, both in which she got from the woman. ❝And then there was—Gorman.❞ She began to say, even saying his name made her want to vomit.
DAWN. he practically flinches at the name when he remembers the woman. hair pulled back in a constriction to make a bun, piercing blue eyes staring him down as she proclaimed noah to be his. then the look of shock when beth drives the scissors into her chest when a GUNSHOT flies through beth’s shoulder practically knocking her to the ground. rick was the first to be at beth’s side with dawn standing there in shock as she tries to reason when daryl puts a bullet through her forehead. rick’s comforting beth and telling her it’s going to be OKAY because she’s bleeding so much and thank god they were in a hospital.
but the name GORMAN was unrecognizable. he rubs a thumb over her hand and looks into her eyes. she’s repulsed, and he feels a spur of anger drive its way through his system before he knows it’s the past. beth’s safe now, and rick makes sure of it. ‘ you’re not the same girl i knew back at the prison. i SWEAR by it, beth, ‘ he’s passionate when he says it and he’s got a sincere look in his orbs. ‘ i’m sorry if i SCARED you at all ... i didn’t mean to give you the wrong IMPRESSION. ‘
BETH GREENE.
sleep didn’t come easy to the girl that night, every time she closed her eyes, she vividly pictured the sharp sword viciously slicing into her dad’s neck, the brutal image sending chills down the length of her spine. eyes watered and tears rolled down her cheeks, sniffles silenced to avoid disturbing rick and judith’s sleep. after a while, sleep eventually took over but the fresh memories turned into NIGHTMARES, following her everywhere and anywhere she went - they couldn’t be buried away.
she’s awake before the sun even comes up, slowly rising in the bed as hands rub away the heaviness from her eyes. rick’s stomach is rising and falling with every breath he takes – good, that meant his heart’s still BEATING. the blonde sneaks out of the bed, careful not to wake the others up; they needed their rest and she wouldn’t rob them of that. she slithers out of the room and shuts the door behind her - there were things that they desperately needed and she was going out to go GET them on her own.
knife rests on her waist, fingers curled around its handle and gun tucked in her back pocket; that was her last resort. she creates tracks on the forest’s ground so that she would know how to get back to the trailer. beth wouldn’t go TOO far, just far enough to find something valuable. she stumbles upon a rundown corner store, windows busted open and grass lining the cracks in the cement; mother nature wanted to take back what was rightfully hers. knuckles knock a few times to reveal groans of the undead lurking inside. there were only two and she took them down with her knife before raiding the shelves.
she makes it back to their temporary home in one piece, using her tracks to help guide her back. the backpack on her shoulders are filled to the brim with various canned foods, the heavy weight of them straining her muscles. she’s PROUD of herself, it might not have been a huge accomplishment but she was able to say that she did something for them. she’s in the middle of unstacking the cans from her bag when she hears rick YELLING out her name, a booming voice that’ll definitely attract any walker within a mile. ❝ quit hollering, i’m in the kitchen. c’mere, i got something to show ya’. ❞
her voice sends his head turning, looking for the source of it. she’s unstacking cans and he’s staring at her for a few seconds feeling like an absolute MORON because he’d just shouted her name when there was no need. his chest hurts as he turns his body, moving his body forward to the kitchen. the amount of food she’d gotten was certainly impressive as he looks at each one; corn, peas, potatoes ( the sliced kind, TOO! ) and even one can of cranberry sauce. that’s when he gets a brief memory of what thanksgiving was like before he’s reminded that his extended family is probably all DEAD and roaming this earth as a corpse. hands set down the last can and he turns to beth with a raised eyebrow.
his look is harsh as eyes wince from pain in his body but he’s glad that she’s got all of this. ‘ you ... got all of THIS? ‘ he’s gazing into her eyes as he’s got a slight SHIVER to him due to the chill of the morning. they needed to move out soon; find a bigger house and more supplies to last a while. they had no lead on anyone. for all they know, they could all be MILES away and be moving in opposite directions. rick didn’t know if his son was alive, and thinking he was safe? rick liked to think that carl would be ALIVE first. but rick just doesn’t know.
‘ why didn’t you wake me up, beth? ‘ his question is sincere as he already knows the answer. but mr. grimes, you’re hurt! i didn’t want to wake you because you looked so calm sleeping ... and plus, someone needed to watch judy! no, someone needed to watch beth because she was HALF the power that rick had and a third of the skills it took to protect your own life in this world. he looks at her as a little girl; she’s got a few tricks up her sleeve, but he’s got the GUILT of hershel on his shoulders and he’s not going to be responsible for beth’s death. hell, he doesn’t want beth to die. HE DOESN’T WANT BETH TO DIE.
‘ you’re okay? ‘
RICK GRIMES.
It feels GOOD to have Andrea back – to have her home, with the rest of them where she belongs. After all they’d suffered and survived through, it gives Rick hope – a hard thing to come by these d ays – when something goes RIGHT. Even still, sleep is still a concept that alludes the former officer and he finds himself climbing the guard tower steps to check on Andrea, who he knows is up there keeping watch. A smile spreads easily across his face when he sees her there, a soft CHUCKLE rolling off his lips at her words. “A little birdie, huh? Well, that’s true,” he steps closer, taking a seat beside the blonde, “– but I’d be lyin’ if I said I got much sleep at all these days.” Rick doesn’t feel the need to elaborate, he’s sure Andrea understands all too well how difficult REST can be in this world – especially knowing that you’re never one-hundred percent safe and that it’s dangerous to think otherwise. His mind’s always going, rarely shutting off, but that’s what happens when you’re the man trying to take care of EVERYONE else. “– Don’t knock the farmin’ though, it’s actually working out pretty well, thank you very much.”
she’s got a smirk spread across her features as she looks up at the man. his TONE had been something she’d missed, as their little conversations dating back to the farm had resembled this one. but she knows rick grimes is not the same man who was on that farm. and she’s not the same girl, either. a hand flows through her hair as she exhales before looking back out to empty fields. she’s always got her EYE on them and she’s very hesitant to take them off. but she guesses that it’s just an INSTINCT that will never go away, so she tries her best to shrug it OFF.
one good little moment in her day has her feeling better already, and she’s feeling positive. she’d been a LEADER too, and she knows how hard it is. though the people of woodbury hadn’t all liked her, she was the only leader willing to stand up and take charge when philip had fallen. she knew she was the leader when she found herself at the prison trying to REASON with the opposing side ( which also happened to be her FAMILY ) and trying to save everyone. but that dream went to shit FAST. ‘ i never pegged you as a FARMER, rick. but if it’s putting food on the table, i’m not COMPLAINING. ‘ her lips purse as she looks at the man with jubilant eyes because they all needed a little bit of happiness in their lives. ‘ you’ve certainly got the sleeping schedule. you’re asleep at EIGHT and up at five it seems like. ‘ she practically snorts as laughter escapes her. ‘ i’m happy you’ve found your CALLING. you think anyone needs a civil rights lawyer right now, by any chance? ‘
You got to stay who you ARE, not who you were. Places like this, you HAVE to put it away. You HAVE to. Or it KILLS you.
BETH GREENE.
when rick takes the pills from her, she ignores the feeling of ELECTRICITY that runs up her arm when their hands make contact. when he tells her that she can have the water, she picks it back up, untwists the bottle’s cap and brings it up to her dry lips to take a small sip. she wasn’t gonna pretend that she wasn’t thirsty or didn’t need the water because she DID. beth stops herself from drinking all of it and sets it back down on the nightstand. ❝ i left ya’ some just in case ya’ get thirsty in the middle of the night. ❞
beth had always been selfless, took it upon herself to look after everyone she cared about. back at the prison, she wasn’t asked to do much on the outside so she became a care taker to others. whether it was getting up early to get judith from rick’s cell so that he could rest a little bit longer or prepare somebody’s meal after they had a long day making sure that their gates were secure. she just enjoyed making people’s lives easier and bringing smiles to their faces. god knows people didn’t smile that much anymore.
she shuts the door to the bedroom and turns the lock - NOTHING was going to make its way inside and hurt them, the girl refused to let that happen. ❝ don’t worry, the sheets and judy will keep me warm. ❞ a light laughter leaves beth at rick’s comment. ❝ NO PROMISES. ❞ she’s being cheeky, enjoying the fact that even after everything he’s been through, he could still crack a joke or two. brown boots are kicked off swiftly before she crawls into the large bed besides judith, just enough space between her and rick. she makes herself comfortable under the sheets before turning onto her side and placing a peck on the baby’s head. ❝ goodnight, judith… goodnight, rick. sweet dreams. ❞
the next morning he’s waking up with an ACHE in his neck. hell, he’s aching all over his damn body. and he feels like everything that’d happened was a dream, really. like the prison falling and the governor returning was just some awful nightmare. that the sword that SLASHED hershel’s neck had just been an illusion. maybe there’s a chance that he’s waking up to beth taking judith for her morning feeding. he can hardly move because of his injuries and knows that he’s gotta find medical supplies. wounds that just needed attention and muscles that needed a damn BREAK had screamed for help. yet, rick still wonders where carl is.
‘ beth? ‘ he calls out with a croak in his voice. his stomach growls in hunger and his lips are dry from the lack of water that he’d drank in the past day. the look on his face is a mixture of PAIN, CONFUSION, and FEAR. the bed is warm from where he’d been laying, and he turns to see the indentation from where beth had slept ( if she had even SLEPT that night ) and then there was judith who was kicking and moving her head all around. rick turns, and he’s pulling the sheets over her a little more because it’s still COLD and the last thing that’s gonna happen is his daughter catching a cold. he tries sitting up fully, but dammit, it HURTS to even move an arm.
he’s used to the pain though. he exposes skin to the chilled air, and he’s slipping feet into his boots. he looks around at the bedroom. the door was CLOSED like it had been, but he presumed not to be locked. standing up, he makes his way to the door slowly. OLD MAN GRIMES had difficulty getting beaten up and then thrown out into the world of survival all in one day, and next time he’s requesting to have at least a WEEK’S notice. where would beth be, though? she’s not here. just another worry, he thinks to himself. she wasn’t familiar with the system that the council had developed when it came to NOTIFYING and had she ever heard of the BUDDY SYSTEM??? she’s new to this, rick. give the girl a damn BREAK.
‘ beth! ‘ he’s shouting as he looks out the front window. yeah, grimes, she’ll hear you from the woods or wherever the HELL she is.
thirty characters in thirty days; four. rick grimes (the walking dead)
meta about how he viewed Beth and how her death affected him :)
SEND ME A TOPIC TO WRITE A META ABOUT MY MUSE ON ( accepting )
there’s really nobody else that he thinks so fondly of. it’d all began at the farm when he’s slouched over his son who was STRUGGLING to keep his life in his grip and she was making sure that the stranger had water and a cooked egg or piece of smoked ham to chew on. every time she’d peek into the room, rick’s glossy eyes would meet hers and the conversation would be the same every time. no, i’m all set. i don’t need anything to drink. eat? no, i couldn’t possibly eat. really, i’m sure, beth. thank you. you’re right though, i should eat something SMALL. what? no, the one blanket is enough. really beth, thank you. there was such kindness and sweetness from the start from the southern belle.
carl’s recovering and she’s playing checkers and scrabble with him, and even helping him do his homework. every time he sees her at the dinner table or on the front porch he’s smiling or giving her a warm greeting. she’s a doll, she really is in his eyes. that’s all before he heard the young blonde singing one night from her bedroom when he’d gotten a glass of water in the kitchen; she’s got a soft voice and it’s so lulling. he stands outside her door for a minute as he absorbs the melodic tune. he smiles before retreating to the tents outside.
nobody had known that he visited beth when she was in her suicidal state. he pulls up a chair to her bed, looking at her with worried eyes. this was hershel’s daughter and he feels RESPONSIBLE for the way she feels. even though it was shane who should have bore this threat … rick looks at beth and talks about how he felt when he woke up from his coma. the whole story and everything. she lay there STILL and silent but he tells it anyhow. after he’s done comforting her, seeing shane outside getting ready to go dispose of randall, he places a kiss onto her temple.
it’s the first night away from the farm and he finds her crying softly to herself away from the fire. he’d stayed up on watch and heard the silent sobs and knew it was beth. he talks with her; about the future. what it held and what he had to do. beth comforts him, telling him that rick had to do the right thing for his family and the group. beth admits she never liked shane much, especially after the barn incident. rick squirms at the name, but nods nonetheless. beth apologizes and hugs him tightly because she knows that HURT IS JUST PART OF THE PACKAGE.
he places a hand on her shoulder as she and maggie crowd her father. rick had saved hershel, and that was the day. beth thinks to herself over and over how rick is just a GOOD MAN and that he has saved her father countless times. later that night, when rick gets back from the food haul they found in the cafeteria, when lori isn’t looking she places a kiss onto rick’s cheek and quietly thanks him for everything he’d done. rick had blushed, trying his BEST to keep that rough exterior present but he melts at the innocence.
every kiss she plants on his cheek from there on sends his heart racing and he feels like he could fly. though, every kiss is so secret and hushed because her FATHER and lori had just been watching over them no matter what. though the kisses were not sexual, but rather a thankful gesture. lori never saw them. that is, until rick had lost lori. he’s fresh from a shower and making his way back when he runs into her in the cell block. big blue hues meet his as she says six words. HURT IS JUST PART OF THE PACKAGE. rick nods and pinches the bridge of his nose as beth embraces him tightly.
a cool rain hits the windows hard one morning as they approached the middle of summer. and beth is up early, just like rick, getting judith for the morning when she finds him feeing her breakfast. beth smiles at the scene and rick looks back at her with a joyful look because he knows beth thinks the world of judith more than anyone ever could. beth, you don’t have to watch her if you don’t want to. are you sure? i don’t want to make it seem like i’m forcing you to watch her is all … oh, you enjoy watching her? you’re hired. rick says with a laugh as she giggles softly. there she goes with that kindred heart, again.
it’s the first time he’s seen her in nearly a month. not sure if she’s dead, not sure if she’s alive, not sure if she’s UNDEAD or just gone. she’s not with daryl. she’s not with anyone. she’s alone. when rick gets the first trail to find her he’s rushing and pushing everyone to get there as fast as possible. and after the maze of obstacles it took to plant an AMBUSH on grady memorial he can see clearly down the long hospital corridor. he sees beth, cowgirl boots and blonde braid in her ponytail. he knows that she’s almost safe. but he can’t wonder what she thinks of him after he had lost in the fight to save her father.
his eyes are wide when he sees the scene unravel, and he reaches forward so quickly when he hears the bullet tear her skull at the seams. he thinks of the farm. he thinks of the singing. he hears her voice like he’s in a cathedral; the ECHO that rattles his mind. he watches as her body falls to the floor, blood seeping from her cranium. her delicate fingers still clenching a pair of medical scissors and her hair is staining with red blood. rick’s in DISBELIEF as he stares at the lifeless body and he doesn’t even hear the gunshot that kills dawn because he’s so focused on beth’s lifeless body.
the first few steps are hard and his legs are weak, but he makes it. she’s so light in his arms; and the light of the hospital was just feet away. her head bobs as it shifts the weight with his steps. he walks out and looks up at the sky because he knew that she would be at peace. he looks down at closed eyes, studying porcelain features before he hears those six words again. HURT IS JUST PART OF THE PACKAGE.
meta on his relationship with shane prior to the outbreak.
SEND ME A TOPIC TO WRITE A META ABOUT MY MUSE ON ( accepting )
this dates back all the way to their childhood. it wasn’t until the third grade where rick’s parents had moved to the area, and that meant starting a NEW SCHOOL for rick. they’d been placed in the same homeroom, and sat across the room from each other. and it wasn’t until that first day at recess that rick had spoken to shane; and not in a friendly manner, either. it was kickball day in the georgia heat that peaked at their time on the field and rick had been put on the opposite of rick’s team. the recess monitor had picked rick as the team captain, and shane as the other. teams were picked, and they were out onto the field in no time. there was a rivalry deep down from the beginning, however the two had just CLICKED.
it’s the seventh grade dance of the year and rick’s twirling fingers in an attempt prepare himself to ask a girl out. he’s MEEK in a way that makes him seem like a nerd, somewhat. glasses present and backpack slung over his back, he eyes her from the distance. shane pushes past rick, walking over in a CONFIDENT strut and rick knows what he’s doing. the girl, EILEEN BELLOWS had looked over to rick with a smile as shane spoke to her. rick watches as she nods and shane’s walking back over to rick. while shane’s attempts had good intentions, rick had been blown off by her at the dance and he ended up dancing alone.
it’s their junior year and their lives are centered around the one sport they hold true to themselves; rick had soccer, and shane had football. they’re not focused on school, but the two are two peas in a pod. in fact, at one point, shane had moved into the grimes’ household. life at home had gotten rough for shane and rick was more than willing to have him take the futon in his room. shane’s got a different ‘girlfriend’ nearly every two weeks and rick’s met just about half the entire high school female population from having shane stay at his place. rick has the occasional girlfriend, but his love life isn’t special. he’s focused on other things and says that NOW isn’t the time.
it’s the end of their first summer after high school and they’re driving to a party across town hosted by some RICH chick that somehow shane knew. in fact, rick knew exactly HOW shane knew her … and it wasn’t because they shared a class. the two are enrolled in the police academy but finals are over and it’s time to kick back. an hour into the party, shane’s up to his old ways once more and rick’s sitting there with a drink in his hand ( just because they were training to be cops didn’t mean they WERE cops yet, rick tells himself ) and looking across the room to a girl who’d come alone. she’s got medium-length brown hair with stunning hazel eyes, and a tight dress that fits over her slim body. that’s when rick sees shane step in, and she looks back to see rick standing there with a drink in his hand. ‘ hi, i’m lori. ‘ to this day, rick doesn’t know what shane said to her but by the end of the night he’d kissed her under the moon and gone home with her.
flash forward to nine months pregnant, rick’s on the phone with shane as he’s speeding to the hospital because lori had at home when her WATER BROKE and he wants shane to be there. they don’t hang out as much, but they’re still closer than ever. shane makes it there just in time to be there for carl’s delivery, and he’s the third person to hold carl, ever.
the wedding had been a wreck. everything had seemed to just go WRONG but rick is ready to get it over with. and when lori’s parents are late because it’s january and there’s a snowstorm approaching, and all the planes are delayed, lori’s crying. she’s weeping and that’s when shane steps in and promises to walk her down the aisle. the door opens and rick stands there, watching. he sees lori with wet tears around her eyes, and shane’s talking to her about something. lori starts walking to the altar with shane at her side, and she’s calming down more with each step. quiet whispers are made between the two, and when she reaches the altar she steps forward to rick and rick sees shane give him a nod.
now it’s a year into the apocalypse and the two walk out to a field. it’s cold, and silent. rick stares at shane as he begins to go berserk, and claim that he had a broken family. rick knows there’s no way out from this, and he knows shane isn’t gonna pull the trigger. but they’ve crossed a line. rick maneuvers his way to shane and shoves the gun down before stabbing him in the chest; what he presumed to be the heart. shane’s pulled to the ground by shock and he’s looking into rick’s eyes with THAT LOOK that rick knows all too well. it was his friend again; the one who’d done so much for him and rick hadn’t even said a THANK YOU for all these years. rick freezes in a panic that he’d just killed his best friend, and looks up to the shrouded moon that’d been encased in the night chill.
RICK GRIMES HAD JUST KILLED HIS BEST FRIEND. the same best friend that’d been rick’s first friend in a new school, asked his first girl out for him, introduced him to his wife, held his first newborn child, and saved his family from the apocalypse that’d wiped out over two thirds of the world population. he’d killed his best friend.
