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It’s a beautiful day to know the lore before everyone else

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I’m about to go in for my last thing at my high school before graduation (graduation is at the local university not the high school) and it’s kinda hitting me all at once. I’ll never be in this school again. I’m going away to new beginnings and it fella like just yesterday I was a scared 6th grader not knowing anything about public school, wondering about friends (which I haven’t kept any from middle school) and the new things beginning then. How far graduation is and wondering what life will be like then.

Now I’m here, less than a week from graduation. Sitting in my car about to go into high school for the last time. All the people I know and knew here and all of the memories will be behind me after next week.

Congrats to all other graduating seniors and especially the ones who didn’t know they’d make it. We did it!

Here’s to the class of 2026!

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I love when my slightly evil manager eats raw onions for breakfast like the grinch he is

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Me when life is great and I just found a four leaf clover

I graduate in five weeks, get to see family, go to tadc movie week before my birthday, see Noah kahan 2 days after my birthday with my favorite family member, go to college, dorm with my best friend and have a job that pays well and a work environment that isn’t toxic. I’m no longer dying or turning into a man yay!!!

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Ok guys im ranting one more because i see Noah Kahan this summer (two days after my birthday I’m actually so pumped) but that’s not what this is about.

Noah Kahan out of body. So amazing. I don’t wanna talk about how many times I cried (at least six). It was such raw emotion the entire thing and you could feel pretty much everything he was feeling in those moments. From the cinematography to the settings to the narrative to the message, you could feel the heart and soul of the people in it not just Noah himself but his family and friends. The movie itself does such a great job shedding some light on the themes of the songs and just a scratch of the surface of what happened, enough to give context but not put everyone’s entire life on display.

The touch and themes of mental health in the film are amazing. You feel how lost Noah is at some points and the frustration with not hitting some notes and addressing the anxiety and shame that comes with eating disorders and body dysmorphia. Something many are too scared to share at all never mind to the whole world. It takes a strong person to put themselves out like that and advocate for others not to feel shame about it, truly a step for breaking the stigma around mental health disorders and mental health in general.

So excited to see him live this summer. See you guys Orlando night 2 in the pit

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Guess who’s the only person in my house employed (finally I got another job)???

My old job hired me and I told them availability and they had me start spring break and was like “we’re gonna have you work weekends” and then never scheduled me again after that and I got a text with my name spelled wrong saying “I don’t think this is gonna work out” after not scheduling me for three weeks and not forking over my paycheck (which I should have gotten 3 weeks prior) but the place slaps and there no hard feelings so I’m still chill with them and now my ice cream scoops are suspiciously a litter bigger than everyone else’s so life is good

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“You busy Friday?”

Ya I am actually

Got one of the last seats I’m so happy

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I would like to put this on the record that I knew queenie was going to be a black diva with a pure heart and have head cannoned her this way since she was first mentioned. Thank you a rip to the Caine fans. Also that person who said that kinger abstracted on tt I was really mad at you for like 2 hours cuz I couldn’t watch the episode but I saw that two seconds so screw you but thank you.

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Apparently my doctors decided it was my time because they prescribed me medication with something I’m literally allergic to and was wondering why I was having bad reactions after a week and a half on the medication

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Jokes that have been made about my high testosterone that i find funny and notable but are just as funny out of context if not funnier

“I cannot unsubscribe to my man trial, it’s been charging me for six months!”

“I AM MARTIN”

“I am the Martin I speak for the Krat brothers”

“I am the Martin I speak for the animals”

“I am the Martin I speak for the men”

“It’s like a gym membership….”

“Well I know I’m not trans, that’s for sure”

“Are all men so itchy???”

“These doctors are as bad as the membership customer service representatives”

“I have more chest hairs than my dad”

“why am I itchy???”

“Why is my voice cracking”

“Is this what puberty is like for guys?”

“This is like a trans guy’s dream”

“WHY AM I SO GODDAM ITCHY??”

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When your testosterone gets so high it nuked your ovaries and you won’t have a period ever again and you didn’t even want kids but you’re turning into a man

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October cannon event this, October cannon event that.

I have a thing in my brain that’s possibly cancer and pressing on my pituitary gland I’m literally turning into a man (more testosterone than estrogen rn) so I’m gonna go die in a hole and drink 28 beers or smthn like that

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Holy fuck I’m tearing up a bit

So I’m a junior in high school right now (11th for anyone out of the US) and I saw a tik tok about a girl and her best friend singing “slipping through my fingers” in mama Mia as their final show of their spring musical and one of them is in 12th and graduating in a few weeks from the video and the other is in 11th. The spring musical next year is mama Mia. I’m going to do technical for it. I will never recover. Like literally I don’t know how I’m going to make it through that show it’s going to be beautiful but I will be bawling my eyes out from either backstage or from the mic cart of the lighting desk.

I will never recover from this realization leave me in peace I shall now die

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Get me a fucking hurricane.

I finally got my own surfboard about three weeks ago and I went out like two or three times and was like “meh these waves are fine” I didn’t catch anything but I’m really rusty and I was getting kind of close and really I just need to work out my arms a bit and stalk the other surfers on the pier (I learn from watching, fuck off, it really works just study the people who know how to do something and it’s a lot easier to pick up things). But now I keep looking at the surf report and I’m like “what is this dogshit?” Just give me a fucking hurricane so I can have some waves.

Thank you for listening to my crash out 🫶

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Ok I’ve never posted before but I’ve decided this is now a goddam shitpost account for when I’m fed up with people and society and my body turning against itself. If you know me, no you don’t keep scrolling.

Also you may or may not get context. Depends on my mood through this typing rant.

Why am I not even 17 yet and the nurses are making jokes I’m a FUCKING GERIATRIC PATENT!?? Like excuse me why am I a goddam 16 year old that has to go to a urologist and get MRI scans and x rays all the time, I’m not some 70 year old I’m SIXTEEN and I’ve been fucked up by a BUG when I was THREE. Lyme disease, bartonella, and some other third thing that’s hiding them IM MY ORGANS. I’m so stressed out from this IM GETTING IBS. SIXTEEN. IBS. How fucking ridiculous is that? And you know what brought this rant on. I’m walking up stairs like a normal goddam person and say “oh dam my back hurts, and my knees, wait I was supposed to take the recycling out this morning wasn’t I?” I have a HERNIATED DISK. SIXTEEN. HERNIATED DISK. Fuck this I can’t sit slouching like I used to because my back will hurt really bad and I start bitching like an old man. I’m pissing my pants at random and praying to whatever sick twisted thing that decided to do this to me that it isn’t going to be at school cuz ya, I still have to deal with that shit still. I can’t use the stairs in my TWO FLOOR SCHOOL and each of my classes are on a different floor. So I have to stand on this elevator looking completely normal on the outside until my chronic illness finally kicks me in the everything and I’m physically and mentally incapacitated because guess what? ITS A BRAIN INFECTION TOO. Fuck this I’m too smart for a therapist they keep saying I don’t need therapy but I need people to just rant about so whoever the hell is reading this you get to be my anonymous therapist now, have a gold star go buy yourself a treat after reading this crashout rant by some randomly chronically ill teenager, you deserve it if you’ve read this far.