Shit Said In The Penalty Box

The Penalty Box can be a funny place. So we are going to celebrate it

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

Poor Pivot

Pivot: Well that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever done. Split the fucking pack

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

I like you, but I’m working on it

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

Reverse Derby

*NSO elbows skater in the head* NSO: Sorry Skater, I just elbowed you in the back of the head Skater: Does this mean you get expelled now? Is it like reverse derby?

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

Shit Occasionally Heard from the Track

Jammer: Can I call it? Benchie: You can’t, you’re not lead. You went to the bin *Jammer has double take look of disbelief* Jammer: Awwwww

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

New Rules?

Skater: Are we playing by the new rules today?

*Removes helmet & NSO issues penalty*

Thank you

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

Invisible Skater

*Skater sitting in box as Jammer calls off Jam*

Skater: No. No. No! Why did you call it? I’m here. Didn’t you see me?

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

Time is relative

NSO: You have six seconds remaining

Skater: *Yelling to teammates* Two seconds guys. I have two seconds left

NSO: Uh, six

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

Work/Rest

*On a VERY hot day*

Skater: Seriously, whose idea was this? The work/rest ratio is shot right now. If this was a union there’d be a riot

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

Accidental Cut

Skater: I totally didn’t mean to cut. I yielded the wrong way

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

Worst Present Ever

NSO: Blue 123 you are on your sixth penalty

Skater: Oh you guys give the worst presents!

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

When NSOs Travel

NSO: White 123 Stand

Skater: Oh, I’ve got an Aussie. I love your accent

NSO: *Smiles* White 123 done

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

All box no Action

*NSO forgets to gesture to seat*

Skater: Where do I go? Where do I go? I got here and there was no action

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

Luscious Locks

*PBT has long red hair and a beard*

Skater: Oh it’s you, you with your luscious locks.

*Notices PBM*

Oh hey PBM

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

Actually Clean

*Skater receives penalty during last jam of game*

Skater: *sits* Gah, and I was so clean! Penaltywise, you know, not “actually” clean

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

Leg Day Everyday

NSO: Stand

Skater: But my legs will get sore *pouts* Don’t worry, I’ll build up my leg muscles

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

Special Edition - Shit Heard from the Track

*Second Scrim and some skaters have changed from Black to White*

*White Blocker checks White Jammer*

Jammer: What are you doing?!?!?

Blocker: *See’s they are wearing white shirt* Oops!

[shitsaidinthepenaltybox]

Overshare

Skater: When I fell over before a little bit of wee came out. I thought, oh, that feels wet NSO: ...