Did Someone say RP Memes?

A blog that provides RP memes and Sentence starters. Yes we take suggestions and pizza. Pizza is becoming more active.

[shitthepizza]

...

Pizza is working on some sentence prompt lists.

Requests and suggestions are always welcome.

[shitthepizza]

Overheard Conversations while Dissassociating in a Golden Corral

Every other month, Pizza must endure eating in a densely-filled Golden Corral. Always on a Sunday. Always during the after-church rush. We endure because we love our mother. It is still a hell we are not fond of...

Miss, can you explain to my husband that not everyone makes mac 'n' cheese like this.

Oh, no.

Don't bring me into your conversation.

I just refill the drinks and grab the empty plates.

I told you not to bother the server, (insert name).

I'll just ask someone else.

Or you can just put a forkful of food in your mouth and leave strangers alone.

Oh, just shut up, (insert name).

[shitthepizza]

Random Shit

In which Pizza merges several unfinished things in their Drafts including random things Pizza has said to their spouse, and friends have said to Pizza then flung them together into a listy for y’all to use. just cleaning out old unfinished things... change pronouns if you need to. Have Fun ♥

“Cheers, love! The average gay is here!”

"I live near the woods so I get my skeletons wholesale."

"I got a package for you"

“It is a well documented fact how much of a pain in the ass you are, my love.”

“Cannibal Claus, he eats you while you’re sleeping.”

“Okay, I get it. You expect Chicken Parmesan with fucking spaghett  (dramatic pause) Teeeeeeeee!”

“Man. Always something when one is trying to life their life.”

It’s just like riding a viking, right?

“There’s urine in the fridge?! Why?!”

[shitthepizza]

Another list of sentence starters

yet more things gleaned from watching youtube gamers. change pronouns as you need to… enjoy kids *may have nsfw 

Keep reading

[shitthepizza]

Random Sentence Starters

various overheard things from media and Pizza’s spouse talking to friends about some game Pizza have no interest in. Change pronouns where you need to.

“Aren’t you going to sit down?”

“Now what have I done?”

“I think that’s very childish.”

“I’ve got sand in my eye.”

“I said we were going to do a round.”

“What’s happening?”

“I’ve got an announcement to make.”

“I don’t think I can do this…”

“How would you survive a sharknado?”

“Could you be a dear and help me with this?”

“Nice of you to join us.”

“Remember, if you see any moose in the wild: Don’t go near them!

“Doctor?”

“Or what?”

“See this?”

“Why would you use a torch in here?”

“I hate oatmeal.”

“I imagine it is difficult to plant a machete in someone’s back.”

“It was a freaking awesome game.”

“It’s relatively cheap…ish.”

“Sadface for you.”

“Got to do the activation.”

“Treated him like a son.”

“Have you no shame?”

“Probably not.”

“Glad you told me not to spend it all.”

“I don’t mind spending the money.”

“How do I do this?”

“I know what you’re thinking.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“I could see everybody.”

“I was at the gym.”

“A dead ex-husband seems convenient.”

“Says you.”

“She was a good person.”

“We were a family.”

“You were trying to get your grubby little hands on his money.”

There was blood on the tip of his finger.”

“Lucky shot, no doubt.”

“Have you seen my comb?”

[shitthepizza]

It’s Sinday! Whisper in my muses ear what you want to do with them...

And my muse will indicate whether they are keen or not.

Who knows you may find a new ship…

[shitthepizza]

Cheesy Pick-up Lines as RP starters...

Various pick-up lines from various media and from drunken louts from Pizza’s past, adjust what you need to…

If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple… 

Your hand looks heavy, let me hold it for you…

I promise to always be by your side, or under you, or on top of you…

I’m not Rapunzel but I’d let you pull my hair.

So, I hear you like water. Good you already like 70% of me

What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.

My lips are like skittles. Wanna taste the rainbow?

Roses are red, violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?

Your lips look so lonely…Would they like to meet mine?

I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.

Are you from Starbucks because I like you a latte.

Do you like science because I’ve got my ion you. 

My feet are getting cold… because you’ve knocked my socks off.

I’ll give you a kiss. If you don’t like it, you can return it.

If you were a vegetable you’d be a cutecumber.

Feel my t-shirt, it’s made of boyfriend material.

Your name must be Coca Cola because you’re so-da-licious.

Hey, my name’s Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?

Was your dad a boxer? Because damn, you’re a knockout!

Hey, you’re pretty and I’m cute. Together we’d be Pretty Cute.

[shitthepizza]

Conversation with a 9-month-old child

In which Pizza has a chatter with their over-tired nephew who refuses to nap. Picture a belligerent drunk yelling incoherently. Same thing really. Change pronouns as you need.

Enjoy.

Hey!

You hollered?

Hey. Hey, give me that.

No, sir.

That!

It's not safe, my dude.

That. I want that thing there.

I said no.

Give it now.

It's made of glass, I'm not giving it to you little buddy.

I want it. Give.

Yeah, not happening.

I'll yell now.

Still not letting you have it.

Hey! Hey! That!

Someone needs a nap.

Pbbbbbbbt...

Fair point, sleepless one.

Up! Up!

That, now?

Yeah, that's still a no.

Eventually, this little guy will be a talker.

[shitthepizza]

The Year of the Tiger

Because Pizza remembered they hadn’t done a Chinese Zodiac in a long bit... a collection of quotes and sentences from various sources. It is fair to assume none of these belong to Pizza.

“An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger.”

“In me the tiger sniffs the rose.”

“Some people regard private enterprise as a predatory tiger to be shot.

“In waking a tiger, use a long stick.”

“If you rile a tiger, he’s going to show his claws.”

“Wooing the press is an exercise roughly akin to picnicking with a tiger.”

“You might enjoy the meal, but the tiger always eats last.”

“They just think I’m a strange tiger who walks on two legs.”

If we choose to walk into a forest where a tiger lives, we are taking a chance.

“If I produce a 450-pound Bengal tiger, it’s going to create a lot more wonder than if I produce a rabbit.”

“Be cautious of bears at all times, even when being mauled by a tiger.”

“Everyone needs a dog to adore him, and a tiger to bring him back to reality.”

“You know, tigers are very unpredictable.”

“God made the cat to give man the pleasure of stroking a tiger.”

“Better to live one year as a tiger, than a hundred as a sheep.”

[shitthepizza]

Redacted #3

Pizza has risen from their long ass slumber to bring you more dialogue from Pizza’s ‘never going to finish this cringe’ fic. As mentioned before Pizza hates wasting words so here have some words kids...

That was completely reckless, ____.

No more than you coming to the restaurant.

I’m not the one that is supposed to be fish food, my friend.

What I did was a lark.

It isn’t fair that you can be seen in public.

Is it too much to ask that I get a chance to see you sing?

The place is filled with people who want to kill you.

It was reckless of me.

I seem to always forgive you.

I have to go, call me tomorrow.

It goes down tomorrow.

I’ll call you when the dust settles.

I can’t do another sleepover night.

You gave the okay.

She asked nicely.

Am I getting soft?

You’ve been training her to be a killer.

It’s nice to let her be a child once in a while...

I suppose we can go back to my place. It’s quiet there.

____ wouldn’t let them serve me alcohol.

The bitch really hate me, huh?

To be fair you were stalking me.

I got the impression you enjoy being my lover, was I wrong?

Why is his song so sexy?

Are you saying you don’t like our song?

change any pronouns you need to

[shitthepizza]

Random shit Pizza has said

mostly out of context things or things said when Pizza is half-awake or the brain was being weird. change pronouns if you need to, enjoy.

I don’t give a flying ass.

Oh, point and shoot. I thought you said point and shit.

You, sir, are the washer whisperer...

You are not supposed to eat the shampoo.

There is nothing left to expel from my anus and yet my stomach insists.

Pizza is basically salad.

Remember, it is more important to eat dinner than it is to not eat dinner.

It me. Glub, Blug I am fish.

It’s my skin not yours.

Pippety, Poppety, Poo. My Joints just cracked for you!

I'm not fat. I am a ball of condensed rage.

Cookies baking. Smells like Church appointed Baby Jesus born day is nigh...

[shitthepizza]

A Bloody Mess

Have some bloody sentence starters. Some pulled from various media, some made up by Pizza. An extra slice for you if you can tell which is which...

That is a lot of fucking blood, dude.

Blood alone moves the wheels of history.

Oh, the blood? It’s mine.

Pretty sure that’s not ketchup...

I mean, he was holding a bloody knife...

“We are linked by blood, and blood is memory without language.”

“Blood is the rose of the mysterious union.”

“Everybody is a book of blood; wherever we're opened, we're red.”

“Blood is really warm, it's like drinking hot chocolate but with more screaming.”

"All the soarings of my mind begin in my blood."

Well, I’m certainly not on my period, moron.

Oh. Is that... is that my blood?

[shitthepizza]

The Joys of being a Cat Mom #2

yet another daily conversation with Pizza’s purrsistant (fucking couldn’t resist the pun, not sorry) feline friend

Fucking ow.

Why are you stabbing my side?

I want to get on the big space in front of you.

You mean my desk?

I mean my nap spot.

I am writing at the moment.

That’s nice.

Later, okay?

Sure, sure. I’ll be over here.

Ow. That’s right on the ribs.

Oh good. you’re done.

I’m just going to hop up now.

What? No. I’m still working on this... later, later.

It’s later now.

So, I am up here now.

Please get down.

I can’t. I need to lay down on the big space right now.

Fine, then lay down over there so I can finish this up.

No. Here’s fine.

I can’t type with you laying on my arms.

I know.

[shitthepizza]

Pizza’s redacted fics #2

because we hate wasting words even if we personally hated their initial creation... 

I should not have talked about sex.

Talking about it was a bad idea.

Do you really think I’m pretty?

I was worried it might be someone I wouldn’t like...

It would have been awful if it had been forkbutt guy.

I couldn’t let him kiss me.

I’d probably end up stabbing him a lot. With the fork.

____, they were making fun of us.

No, no, no. Put the knife down.

Because they have guns.

You won the fight, time to calm down now.

They were laughing.

They’re not laughing anymore are they?

I tried to watch in the mirror but I kept closing my eyes.

No, we can’t do that in here.

Please just leave them outside the door.

You can’t just tell people you’re doing sex stuff.

Oh, I guess I forgot that part.

The last time a boy put his tongue in my mouth I bit it off.

I don’t think he liked that. Not one bit.

change pronouns if you want.

[shitthepizza]

Lines from Pizza’s redacted fics

Sometimes you write things and for some reason or other you never share them. Could be because you fell out of love with the fandom it was for or you wrote some pretty epic cringe. In this instance, we can assume Pizza wrote something that would be cringe inducing (parts did get shared unfortunately). but hey mining our failures and recycling stuff is fun right? Right?!

She was a bad lady.

Most people are noisy and chatter about nonsense.

What are you staring at?

I doubt camping is on his mind, his parents are dead.

I would just shrug and he’d pitch a tantrum.

I didn’t want to hurt him so I dropped the fork.

That bitch tried to kill me with a fork!

Dude, you got a fork in your ass. That’s rich.

Well, you can’t take a young lady into the men’s room...

Why did you attack that jerk?

Is this where you kiss me and I swoon?

I don’t know how to respond to that.

It was weird the camera was constantly on their privates.

I didn’t swoon.

Some of the books mention knees buckling...

You didn’t say all of that did you?

Of course you did...

Mentioning the porn flick was probably not the best way to catch their interest.

I told them they ask dumb questions and left.

It was a bit overwhelming so I bolted.

[starry-night-memes]

RP Meme & Resource Blogs!

Active blogs below the cut.

Keep reading

[shitthepizza]

First Lines

A list of first lines of dialogue from books that Pizza is trading in for other books. Extra cheese for you if you figure out the books they are from... (goes without saying but saying it anyhow We don’t own these)

“Pinch me and you’re dead meat.”

“Hello?”

“If you slip me decaf, I’ll rip your head off.”

“Okay, so he’s a werewolf.”

“How does that make you feel, ____?”

“____, please be seated.”

“What happened to your arm?”

“Now, ___, how may I help you today?”

“Piss me off, pay the consequences.”

“I heard on the news there’s a movement...”

“You need more make-up.”

“What time is it?”

“You’re sure you missed October?”

“Define good.”

“Bring us a basin!”