shitty is my blueprint

you can call me jupiter! | he/him | icon by me! using art from omgcheckplease | significantly more active on my main @mudwizardbignaturals

[shittybyrons]

omgcphivemind->shittybyrons

i mainly hang out on this omgcp discord

[maturiin]

shitty and lardo have helped me cope with exams stress

[connorwhisksambiguousbisexuality]

In celebration of✨The Year of the 🐸✨, here's a side-by-side of The Frogs' very first appearance in @omgcheckplease as HIGH SCHOOL SENIORS and our first "official" art of them as COLLEGE SENIORS!!!

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First we have Derek "Nursey" Nurse! He's probably changed the least out of the Frogs. But he's still putting himself into Situations (bro stop sitting on the wall you're gonna break your arm AGAIN)

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Next is our Sentient Ball Of Sunshine (until he gets in the net, that is) Chris "Chowder" Chow! His braces are off and he has the early days of a Mullet going on, and frankly I'm Obsessed

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And finally, we have the 2017-2018 Samwell Men's Hockey Captain, William "Dex" Pointdexter! Look at him!!! He's SMILING!!!

So Yeah. Those Are Our Boys. Now If You'll Excuse Me, I'm Gonna Go Cry Over The Passage Of Time Now.

[ngoziu]

it's very funny that in the check please universe it's like "oh poor jack zimmermann...hope he recovers" "oh he recovered and won the stanley cup" "oh he gay"

[mudwizardbignaturals]

hi! i have an offer for you heated rivalry fic writing folks!

i'm a hockey fan who just so happens to live in ottawa, and i am here to offer my services to check hockey and ottawa accuracy for your fics+provide consultation "services" before you post! i'll read just about anything! DM me if you want help

offer applies to any hockey fanfiction actually honestly, i've just been on a heated rivalry kick recently. i don't care what i'm reading, if i dont like it i'm only fixing the parts that have to do with hockey (or ottawa if applicable) so it's no big deal.

[jedusaur]

When you’re in the middle of playing hockey, you don’t have much time or lungpower to spare for lengthy chats, so hockey players develop a lot of on-ice shorthand. Some of this is probably limited to beer leagues like mine, but I’ve definitely heard a few of these phrases caught on the rink-level mics during NHL games, so I thought maybe some of y’all who don’t play hockey might be interested in translations of a few of the things hockey players yell at each other mid-game.

OFF = You are offside.

OOOOOOOFF = You are offside and don’t seem to realize it; stop trying to touch the puck and move your ass out of the fucking zone before you force a whistle.

CHANGE = You’ve been on the ice a long time.

CHAAAAAAANGE = Are you aware that there are other people on this team who would like to play hockey at some point?

ONE ON = An opposing player is trying to get the puck away from you and it appears that you haven’t noticed.

GOT TIME = Don’t panic and fling the puck into Siberia, there’s no one close enough to take it away from you right this second.

ICE IT = We’ve been in our zone for three minutes and everyone on the ice is nearing collapse, so go ahead, panic and fling the puck into Siberia.

I’M OPEN = Pass toward the sound of my voice right fucking now.

ALL YOU = Take the puck forward yourself; everyone else is far enough behind you that you should not rely on getting any backup on this developing play.

I GOT YOU = You are so egregiously out of position that it makes more sense for us to just switch jobs for a minute.

I GOT IT = If we both skate hard to the puck at the same time, as is currently happening, there will be no one to pass it to and also we are liable to collide in an unproductive fashion, so just let me handle it.

I GOT IT I GOT IT I GOT IT = You did not listen to me and we are about to collide in an unproductive fashion.

edited to add: NOOOOOOOOOOO = The ref has signaled no icing on this play, so quit gliding while you wait for a whistle and move your damn feet. (This is probably the most confusing one to overhear if you don’t know what it means XD)

[jedusaur]

back in the day this post made the rounds in hockey RPF and in Check Please and I am pleased to see once again a hockey-based fandom full of people who know nothing about hockey circulating this crucial info XD for the record I am always happy to splain hockey at pretty much anyone who asks!

[loveliesttime]

pov: ur eric bittle and the first injury during your captaincy happens bc SOMEONE can’t stop flirting with dex for two seconds

[thirtyskeletons]

i think all the time about the lardo/shitty smut n wrote for one of the huddles where lardo was like “can you stop being such a fucking feminist and just FUCK ME ALREADY”

[hoenursey]

HOLY SHIT

GUYS IM UP IM HERE WE'RE SO FUCKING BACK

[ohyoufool]

🤭

[bittysthesis]

holster tells jack that bad bob is his and ransom’s hall pass and jack calls his parents to tell them that family weekend is cancelled this year actually. yeah like for the whole school.

[ohrather]

Hi! 👋 I know. @ohrather jump scare.

But I'm working on my first novel (to teach myself how to write novels) and it's kinda of like Sex in the City meets The Devil Wears Prada, but staring gay gen z, Bertie Wooster. Sort of. Okay, debatable.

Well, it's funny, at least. And if you like humor and shenanigans and plot in the metrop., you might enjoy reading it as it updates.

It's called JOHN RICH & THE BIG PICTURE, and you can read it on A03.

Pip-pip!

[solarsyrup]

CAVEMAN DOING STANDUP: two moons ago, me daughter ask for new furs. no want mammoth or giant sloth, no, now want cheetah fur. me so tired of "fast fashion."

OTHER CAVEMAN: [plays a rimshot on two coconuts and a scallop shell]

[stormsbourne]

usually when you have a stomach bug your body is like yes sir we'll get this punk out of here, 48 hours tops. then you get a cold and your body is like I dunno ... between a few hours and eleven months ... maybe a week minimum .... you gotta understand we're short staffed

[corruptedeclipse]

KidK's masterpiece, the Seaglass Blanket! It's for sale over on our Etsy account, so check it out!

The blanket is heavy, soft and warm. Each square is a unique cable knit design in really pretty shades of green, blue and teal. It's a real stunning piece, all handmade by @noirandchocolate

[noirandchocolate]

It’d be really cool if this piece went to a good home. It really is super soft and high quality yarn. I put a lot of work and love into making it. <3 Shares are appreciated!

[omgcheckplease]

I was going to do a choose-your-own-adventure story with Shitty on Webtoons but I can't log in on mobile 🙃

[omgcheckplease]

A quick chowder for webtoons!