Mike Driver
Not today Justin
Product Placement
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Cosimo Galluzzi
RMH
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Show & Tell
Andulka
DEAR READER
Cosmic Funnies
Claire Keane
we're not kids anymore.
Game of Thrones Daily
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YOU ARE THE REASON
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Discoholic 🪩
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
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@shittydrawndave
> Dave: Inspect computer.
After what seems like months, you finally open your MONOLITHIC KERNAL, 300 GB, SICK AS BALLS computer.
Of course, not everyone can be nearly as cool as you are. Look at that. You've even got a blog running with some SWEET FUCKING JAMS on it.
Speaking of which, your fans must be getting hungry. You've got time to entertain yourself here for a while.
[ASKS ARE NOW OPEN.]
Begin / Previous
YO DAVE! do you ever do sick flips on skateboards?
TG: fuck yeah i do
TG: you wont see shit like this anywhere else
TG: call me racecar the way im doing sick wheelies
TG: absolutely shredding the fucking curb
TG: the teenage mutant ninja turtles dont stand a fucking chance against this
TG: shredder more like shredding their ass
TG: killing everyone on sight im too hot
TG: yeah
> Dave: Inspect computer.
After what seems like months, you finally open your MONOLITHIC KERNAL, 300 GB, SICK AS BALLS computer.
Of course, not everyone can be nearly as cool as you are. Look at that. You've even got a blog running with some SWEET FUCKING JAMS on it.
Speaking of which, your fans must be getting hungry. You've got time to entertain yourself here for a while.
[ASKS ARE NOW OPEN.]
Begin / Previous
// guidelines are below the cut, have fun chat
How was the obama poster
TG: sick as fuck
TG: they really dont make stuff like this nowadays this shit is vintage
TG: aging like fine fucking wine
TG: down in some cellar like antamadillo or whatevers casket
TG: until some fuck went down there and said
TG: hey todays the perfect day to become a basement robber
TG: and then sold it on ebay for a couple million
TG: and it gets passed down like a family heirloom
TG: historic fuckin artifact really
TG: one day this shits gonna get put up in a museum
> Dave: Inspect Obamamamamamamamana poster.
What a masterpiece. The 44th U.S. president proudly hangs from your bedroom wall, embellished with the proper frame and strings.
Possible illiteracy aside, just glancing at Obamamamamamamamamama's face is sure to brighten your day.
...See? Your day has now gotten better by a factor of approximately 413%.
...
You should stop staring. He's getting shy.
WHAT WILL DAVE STRIDER DO?
> Inspect computer.
> Inspect computer.
Begin / Previous / Next
> Dave: Check out your blankets.
You see absolutely nothing wrong with them.
You know for a fact a certain troll would taken offense, however. Not that he'll ever visit your room.
WHAT WILL DAVE STRIDER DO?
> Inspect Obabababababama poster.
> Check out the computer.
Begin / Previous / Next
Here's to another year.
> Dave: Bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable.
Some things never change. Again, you would never let anything even remotely resembling urine to touch your precious turntables.
But.
It tempts you all the sa- fuck you don't have time for this shit.
WHAT WILL DAVE STRIDER DO?
> Check out your blankets.
> Inspect Obamna poster.
> Check your computer.
Begin / Previous / Next
A young man stands in his bedroom. It just so happens that today, the 28th of December, is a day of remarkably little importance. And though a name was bestowed upon him several years ago, it is only today that he will face the marvel of a new apartment.
WHAT WILL DAVE STRIDER DO?
> Bleat like a goat and piss on your turntable.
> Check out what the fuck is wrong with your blankets.
> Check your (monolithic kernel, 300 GB, sick as fuck) computer.
> Examine Obama poster.
Begin / Next
AG: I got assigned you for some "secret santa" John's 8oyfriend set up so uh
AG: here? Happy human 12th perigee I guess
*@shittilydrawndave has gained a new camera*
Merry Vrismas
TG: and for a moment i thought you were gonna give me spiders
TG: does this thing work
TG: oh yeah it definitely does
TG: i guess youre not half bad at giving gifts huh
TG: you should do it more
TG: make up for all the shit you did
TG: anyways
TG: merry christmas vriska
TG: yo
TG: yknow the secret santa shit the other dave set up
TG: yeah heres your gift
TG: uhhh i didnt know what to get so i just winged the fuck out of it
TG: merry christmas mo
TG: roxy
(You've gained a LAPTOP, a WIZARD HAT, a MAGIC WAND, a PLUSH THAT LOOKS LIKE JASPERS BUT SMALLER, and a WEIRD MUSHROOM.)
@poorlydrawnroxy
WOULD YOU LIKE TO LOAD NEW FILE?
==> YES
==> NO
TG: first day moving in and shits already getting busted
TG: whats gonna happen next huh
TG: ghosts in the house
TG: actually lets not jinx it
WOULD YOU LIKE TO LOAD NEW FILE?
==> YES
==> NO
TG: happy birthday
TG: shit man its crazy were all getting older
TG: do you think wed spoil like milk or age like fine wine
TG: im placing my bets on the latter
(@shittilydrawndave)
[Mmm, I think we’ll age like particularly magically delicious milk.]
TG: fuck yea
TG: magical milk from like the fuckin old ass novel
TG: what was it called
TG: TUCK EVERLASTING
TG: gonna ever our last until the sun explodes or some shit
TG: man i dont fuckin know
TG: this is nice though
==> Dave: Celebrate your birthday?
Nah. You're too cool for that.
Your name is Dave Strider, and today, December 3rd, is your birthday.
funniest childhood story?
TG: got punted off the roof once
TG: i told you bro
TG: i warned you about the stairs
TG: i guess
TG: nothing like a bit of good ol tough love to get things going
TG: im like a fuckin car
TG: motor runnin and someone gassed me up too much and now im gonna do the thing that the hedgehog did
TG: picking up gold rings along the way
==> Dave: Fuck around on the internet.
It appears that your BIRTHDAY is tomorrow, but you don't remember that yet. Right now you're just looking for someone to pester.
Maybe John. Or Rose. You're not sure when you started to miss them, really.
