[shmorgishborgs-blog]

* 𝘽𝙀𝙏𝙒𝙀𝙀𝙉 𝙋𝘼𝙇𝙎 : 𝙨𝙩𝙪𝙥𝙞𝙙 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙩 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙢𝙚 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 .   feel free to change names / pronouns , some are nsfw !

“ the divorce crashed my laptop . ” “ you come into my dms and make a fool of me ? ” “ you come into my house , fuck my wife , say my mother has ligma . ” “ i’m gonna block you now . you’re the worst , and i hate you . ” “ is [name] on our shitlist for this ? ” “ i’ll annex a small nation for you . ” “ the ghost in my keyboard keeps turning my pc on . ” “ i’m gonna dropkick a grown woman . ” “ strong crackhead vibes here . ” “ i get money soon . soap will be mine . and i will eat it . ” “ i have the oldest xbox known to man . ” “ i’m the meat clown ! ” “ cacca rot , lol . ” “ i’m about to eat a frozen fry , ama . ” “ give me one reason i should let you live . ” “ you shouldn’t let me live . pull the trigger . ” “ I’M SORRY , [NAME] . I DIDN’T MEAN TO UNDERMINE YOUR AUTHORITY . ” “ mansplain me some more . ” “ HOW ELSE ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO MAKE MONEY IF YOU’RE NOT SELLING YOUR GAMER NB/GIRL/BOY BATH WATER ? ” “ can he see one tit before he dies ? ” “ whoeth herest , iseth getting thine ass ate ? ” “ my brain like , is shutting down because of you speakin’ shakespearian or some shit . ” “ ok , i’m goin’ bald . ” “ real men call the cops on baldies . ” “ [name] is gonna snatch my wig on wednesday . ” “ [name] told me to shut up so they could listen to a song about a worm . ” “ it’s because i’m on crack , apparently . ” “ think i can bring back kony 2012 ? ” “ you watch family guy , you have no right to judge me . ” “ how do you know what dick cheese smells like ? ” “ ALSO I MADE A RAYGUN , DO YOU WANNA SEE ? ” “ hehe . it’s meat . ” “ i have a baby radar . ” “ you’re so pretty . it’s gross . ”

[shmorgishborgs-blog]

* 𝙐𝙉𝙍𝘼𝙑𝙀𝙇𝙀𝘿 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙍𝙏𝙀𝙍𝙎 : 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙢 𝙥𝙤𝙡𝙮𝙜𝙤𝙣’𝙨 𝙪𝙣𝙧𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙨𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 .   feel free to change names / pronouns !

“ and it’s not because i’m a prude . who doesn’t love a little erotic lizard fiction ? ” “ clowns don’t serve a purpose . ” “ i don’t need anymore reason to be afraid of looking at myself in the mirror . ” “ where ! is ! my ! sonic game with a quilting circle ! ” “ they will tell you, when they’re upset . also when your parents are gonna die . ” “ my second reaction to this was “what the fuck ?” hey, [name] ? what the fuck ? ” “ technically, not murder ! definitely bad ! ” “ why the fuck is he a top ? ” “ they are valid . and they’re wrong . ” “ either sonic is a god, or could kill god, and i do not care if there is a difference ! ” “ but, just when all hope seemed lost, i had an epiphany : i’m going to throw myself into the sea . ” “ for sonic, i’m willing to bend my values a little bit . ” “ here’s the big rule of thumb : magicians are always evil . ” “ humans are so squishy, really, when you think about it . ” “ teach the kids with skyrim . ” “ we’ve done some shit to bees, y’all . ” “ don’t let me suck more than i can handle . ” “ if you excuse me, i’m going to go throw myself into the ocean . ” “ you thought you could get away with that shitty - ass ladder ? ” “ you cannot hide your ladders from me . ” “ hi . i’m [full name], safety fan and bureaucratic wunderkind, please address me as such . ” “ put your toys away, honey . ” “ just let me game, mom . ” “ thanks, [name], for making me read 684 pages of OSHA regulations, you piece of garbage . ” “ jerry seinfeld taught me that, through love, anything is possible . ” “ i couldn’t give a shit about death . ” “ when i die, will i become dry [name] ? ” “ i’m not gonna name my son [name but backwards] . ” “ who hired this man ? i don’t want him on my job site . ” “ not everyone can double jump . ” “ no one would describe [name] as “capable” in any circumstance . ” “ when i was a kid, my mom thought i had a nutrient deficit because i kept wanting to eat mushrooms so much . like i only ate mushrooms for a whole week . that has nothing to do with this . ” “ should you read every book in skyrim ? … no ! what ?! ” “ why do pirhana plant have bone in it ? ” “ the enforcers will knee strike my vital organs . ”