Richtofen’s Fat Dich

Phoenix || zero direction in life😎

[shadowsofsalem-deactivated20240]

I’ve had enough, I’m ready for Halloween

[shooktofen]

The list of fictional men I’m in love with keeps growing and I’m starting to suspect there may be some unidentified trauma that needs addressing💀

[shooktofen]

there’s a theory that eddie might not even go by the name eddie richtofen anymore… also his son is apparently called samuel.

long story short, I will piss out of my eyes if eddie changed his surname to stuhlinger because that means his kid is samuel stuhlinger and we’re back in the cycle again 🥲

[shooktofen]

Remember when part of the zombies community tried to call out and bully people that hc Richtofen as bi or straight, I - 😭🤚 are you not embarrassed, this is really embarrassingggg

[shooktofen]

Y’all know I love Richtofen but this Eddie guy is an imposter 100% - mans is highkey looking like a sphynx without his moustache and it ain’t hot

[youraveragebogman-deactivated20]

[griffincastle]

Like seasons I will change

[memories]

You ever just... yell about #richtofen??

[shooktofen]

All the time 😌✌️

[doubletapanddoublepoints-deacti]

if your fave isnt on here it's because i literally do not give a shit about victis or chaos

This isn’t the first score I’ve gotten as Ultimus Dempsey either

[shooktofen]

I got Primis Nikolai? Not sure if good or bad lmfaoo

[shooktofen]

The boys as tiktoks? SON I WANT THEM AS VINES

ahhhh yes the golden age. i love u

Primis Boys:

Richtofen: Bill Nein

Dempsey: Gimme my hat back Jordan

Nikolai: No. No. No. Turn that off.

Takeo: Don't fuck with me.

Ultimis Lads:

Richtofen: A potato flew around my room

Dempsey: Oovoo javer

Nikolai: Two shots of vodka

Takeo: Look at all those chickens

[shooktofen]

I just wanna ask this.... WHO GAVE DEMPSEY AND RICHTOFEN THE RIGHT TO BE THICC?!

only the thiccest of them all 

das right hoes its ya gorl granny dumptruck robot 

[fritzloops]

Another tiny ed

[zombabe935-deactivated20221129]

!!!!!

[shooktofen]

Ngl y’all I’ve stayed away from the zombies tags for a while and the one time I look after all this time I’ve been reminded why I stay away from them.

You guys know this fandom is for a video game right? It’s not real life.

The people sending hate and/or throwing shade about who should/shouldn’t like a character or ship or even self-ship is ridiculous. It’s like toddlers demanding that their way of playing with the dollies is the only way.

People are here for fun... not to be criticised for trivial things. Don’t turn this into a toxic fandom, learn to accommodate and accept differences and if it really troubles you so deeply ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ go air your grievances somewhere else.

[fritzloops]

Demp n' tiny ed

[shooktofen]

Top 3 ships in codz go!

Oooooooooooooooooo

Sophia and Maxis - I’m v v interested in their backstory together like we’re they science buddies and bang! romance???

Kid Eddy and Kid Samantha - bc I think it’s cute tbh

Shadow Man and Dr Monty - they give me huge breakup vibes can’t lie. Monty out here trying to tend to his garden and his dramatic ex starts summoning aliens for attention

[tran-zit-deactivated20211031]

why the fuck did the other post blow so fast

[shooktofen]

richtofen and dempsey frequently talk about how they want kids in the future and they end up arguing about who will have more awesome kids. Dempsey says his kids will do martial arts and be amazing at sports and Richtofen is over there like oh no no my kids will be amazing at science, art AND sports.

If someone told me this was canon I think I’d acc believe it lmao

Can you imagine if their kids ended up being good at the things they’re bad at? Hahahaahahh these prideful dudes would collapse

Richtofen’s kid (RK): *is bad at science*

Richtofen: here let me teach you! :D

RK: I hate science dad :/

Richtofen: ( ͡👁️ ͜ʖ ͡👁️) wot

RK: can we go play football?

Meanwhile...

Dempsey’s kid (DK): *is not good at sports*

Dempsey: Look kid you just gotta-

DK: I don’t like sports :/

Dempsey: (⊙.⊙(◉̃_᷅◉᷅)⊙.⊙)

DK: I wanna learn about pathology

Later...

DK: “Hey Uncle Edward! Dad said you could tell me about pathology?”

Richtofen: (≖͠ ͜ʖ≖)👌

RK: “Uncle Tank! Wanna play ball?”

Dempsey: (≖͠ ͜ʖ≖)👌

*Dempsey and Richtofen look at each other*

Both: let’s trade kids

Maxis: They’re not goddamn Pokemon cards