I’m trying to be a good fanfic reader and actually reblog and/or at least comment on what I read if I enjoy it 😅 also so that writers know that a real person is reading and liking these stories
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 = A great BTS fic
🤍 or 💖 (honestly the color changes often 😅)= great fluff (as of 050921)
🖤 (I cried so the writer succeeded) = great angst or dark fic/drabble (as of 050921)
🥵 (is it hot in here or is it this fic) = great smut
💎 (certified gem) = fic that I read over and over because it’s that good (as of 180821)
♡ Currently (slowly) reading: Kamisama Kiss fics; BTS fics; Kpop idol fics
♡ Sometimes I write but those are few and far between 😅 (I post and repost my own writings on my side blog: @nostolgiccoffeebean )
♡ Feel free to tag me in what you think I should read next!
Things you should know:
♡ ULT BIAS: Kim Namjoon /RM 🐨 BTS bias wrecker: Suga (yes I’m rapline biased 🤭) Also Jimin and I are just friends he’s my bestie I have to support 😁 Kim Taehyung is my nemesis 😌 he knows what he did
♡ I do listen to other groups and read other fandom fics but my page is starting to look like a fan page 😅 (I mean it is though because I’m a fan of these writers)
♡ This is my personal tumblr so there’s random stuff scattered around too
the world of flashing lights, screaming people and new projects and jobs are all new to you - luckily jungkook is right by your side for every step of it.
“What do you think the blogs would say about us?” Jungkook jokes, a soft smile on his thin lips. He glances away from the obvious pap with a camera and eyes you.
“Nothing too bad I hope.” you laugh.
You don’t want to follow Jungkook’s eyes and catch the cameraman - or several - all pointing and snapping pictures at the two of you. They were mainly here for Jungkook, of course, as you were still a fresh face.
Jungkook had asked you to go to lunch today. Shooting didn’t start until later on so it was easier to agree. Months of shooting the movie, it was easier to say that Jungkook and you were growing closer as co-workers.
Friends?
Could you say Jungkook and you were friends? Everytime you think about how you and he slept together - for the sake of the movie, of course - it makes your body hot. But damn did it also make the scenes easier when you had to pretend to moan a certain way. Jungkook had told you to just remember how good you felt for him that night and to pretend that it was all real now.
“What could they say?”
Jungkook smiles at the server as she drops two plates on either side of you. You only got a salad while Jungkook opted for a steak.
“They’ll probably be dating rumors.” Jungkook speaks again. He’s cutting into his steak, his eyes watching it intently.
“Really?” you murmur. Your eyes glances out the window to see if there’s anyone you notice snapping pictures, your nerves flowing.
“Don’t look so scared.” Jungkook laughs, sinking his teeth into the steak. His eyes are now watching you closely, taking in your soft features. “Besides, it’ll be good press.”
You knit your brows. “Good press?”
Jungkook nods. You aren’t accustomed to this lifestyle and still - months in - he finds it cute. “We’re going to have to promote the movie before and during its release.” he explains just as you begin to pour the cup of dressing onto your salad.
“You’re right.” you snort at yourself. This was a big movie and that meant promotion. The movies you’ve acted in before didn’t require that in the slightest. “I’ve never had to do that before. Do we just…talk about the movie?”
Jungkook nods his head. “Yes. We say enough without disclosing too much until after it’s released. But…” he trails off, wiggling his eyebrows. It causes you to giggle a bit, lifting the salad to your mouth and munching. “....it’d be a better promotion if people assume we’re a couple.”
You hum, tilting your head. You suppose he was correct. If people thought Jungkook and you were a couple, it would get even more eyes on the movie. It would get people pondering about you and him - especially you as the upcoming actress alongside such a powerful face.
“Until they see the movie and witness just how toxic everything is.” you joke a bit.
Jungkook takes another bite of his steak. “People love toxic.” he shrugs one shoulder. “Some people are going to find it hot. Find us hot.”
Your body warms once more with how Jungkook says it. The way his eyes are staring right through you is an added bonus, reminding you of just how well he’s gotten to know you in such a short amount of time.
“We have to give the people what they want, right?” Jungkook raises one brow, awaiting your response.
You’re silent at first, unsure of what to do or say. Then, you nod your head. It was obvious that Jungkook wanted you to - and wanted for the two of you to go through with what he suggested. He was the one with the experience, after all.
As for Jungkook, he offers a warm smile. His eyes sparkle a bit as he watches you, knowing full and well that the camera outside the restaurant was going to capture this genuine moment between the two of you. He holds out his right hand for you to take and slowly, you do, a bit uncertain.
“You,” Jungkook begins, his thumb rubbing along the top of your hand. “are going to be a star, Y/N. I’ll make sure of it.”
Your cheeks are warm and you nod your head. It was as if you were in a trance, fully captivated by the performance that Jungkook was putting on - if this was even a performance in his eyes or not.
“So tell us, how do the two of your characters meet in the movie?” the interviewer asks, dancing her eyes between you and Jungkook. “I’ve seen the trailer of it and it’s…” she shakes her head, a smile forming on her lips that shows a tint of mischief. “...hot to say the least.”
“And toxic.” Jungkook chuckles, turning his head to the left to glance your way.
Your eyes catch his and you return his smile. “Sooo toxic.” you agree, a short laugh passing your lips immediately after. “When the trailer released, I wasn’t expecting all the positive feedback on a horror-like movie. But this is also my first big movie I did, so it’s all surreal.”
The camera man is sure to capture the looks between you and Jungkook, the way his smile would brighten when you’d look his way.
“But, our characters meet in a club in which I’m a bartender.” you explain. You’re seated so close to Jungkook that your shoulder brushes his.
“Strip club.” the interview nods, raising her brows.
“Yes,” you chuckle, nodding your head. “a strip club. We filmed in an actual club downtown where I was shown how to serve the drinks and all.”
Jungkook watches the way you explain, moving your hands to explain further. His mind wanders to the club scene, recalling the way you were dressed for said scene. He licks his lips, his mind flashing to the leather you wore. Backless halter top with matching tight leather pants that looked entirely too appealing on you.
“And my character pays for a lapdance from her. In the movie, it’s a big deal since she’s not a dancer, but a bartender.” Jungkook explains, glancing at the interviewer. “It’s, of course, supposed to show that my character was someone with power and money. Especially if he paid for her the entire night.”
There was another look shared between you and Jungkook. Once more, you both laugh sheepishly, recalling the many times you had to give him a lap dance simply because you or him were messing up.
“In the movie, he came with his friends but he was the birthday boy.” you say, knocking your shoulder into Jungkook’s playfully. “When you watch the movie, it really shows how complex his character is.”
The interviewer raises her eyebrows. “How so?”
“At first, he’s…shy. Nervous even.” Jungkook answers. “And each time he comes back to the bar, he’s more confident. He doesn’t show who he really is until later on into the movie.”
“I guess that’s what makes it a thriller.” the interviewer wiggles her eyebrows. “What were your favorite scenes you did together?”
The camera captures you and Jungkook glance at one another again, both of you putting on an amazing show of chemistry. Ever since shooting wrapped up and now, the trailer dropping, you and Jungkook were all anyone could talk about. You had people who shipped you two together, coming up with couple names already while others made up their own synopsis of what the movie would be about with what little they were given.
With Jungkook, it was never truly a dull moment. Even during photoshoots, he and you had fun. Witnessing him become the Jungkook you know - funny, sweet and caring, to the character was amazing. He knew how to turn it on and off and even during photoshoots, he showed it. The movie poster behind you and him now captures the possessiveness his character has over yours. His arms wrapped around you, eyes staring right at you while yours were instructed to look towards the camera. The movie title is displayed right about you, yet seems to fade off a bit to solely focus on you and him.
“Mine would have to be…” you trail off, thinking for a moment. “...when he finally shows his true colors, I suppose. He becomes possessive entirely until it’s too unbearable for her to handle.”
You turn to face Jungkook, cheeks warming when he’s already looking your way.
“My favorite would have to be a much more…intimate scene.” Jungkook states. “It comes right after we had an argument and my character charms her a bit. He’s been acting crazy and obsessive but he has a way with words.”
Your smile falls a bit as you recall the exact scene Jungkook’s referencing. Your whole body feels warm now and you shift in your seat at being reminded of it.
The intimate scene itself wasn’t what caused you to shift. You and he had done much more uncomfortable scenes for a movie such as this. No, it was how ashamed you felt at doing something like that with Jungkook.
Jungkook didn’t see a problem with it. The scene caused for you and hilton beneath the covers anyways. The director, a few crew and an intimacy coach were there and you’ve done exactly what you were supposed to do. Like the intimacy coach said, intimate moments were usually acts of camera play anyways.
Yet Jungkook fingering you in front of the unknowing crew wasn’t a part of the schedule. His lips on yours to silent your protest as his fingers forced their way through your shorts and into your panties. It’s what the script called for, right? Why pretend to do it if he could do it for real and capture your actual moans and groans - all without anyone knowing what’s going on.
The adrenaline going through Jungkook as he pumps his invasive fingers in and out of you is insane to him. His lips kiss down your neck, soft voice telling you that “everything is okay” and to just “go along with it”.
Your mind had gone blank and you didn’t know what to do yourself. You didn’t want to ruin the scene or make Jungkook out to be a creep. So you helplessly laid there, widening your thighs as Jungkook’s fingers pound in you, his palm rubbing against your wet clit. He leans away a bit to look in your fluttering eyes, a smug look on his face at the genuine pleasure on your face. Even if it wasn’t in the script, he places his lips against yours possessively. He moans during the kiss, your lips one of his favorite tastes.
And even as it was over by you, embarrassingly, cumming all over Jungkook’s hands, the director yells cut and even compliments the both of you. “It felt so raw and real.” he stated - how right he was.
You blink a few times when you feel Jungkook’s hand on your knee, squeezing it a bit.
“Yeah.” you smile a bit, awkwardly. “I remember that scene, too.”
“Y/N, tell me,” the interview leans forward a bit. “you’re the new star. You’re the talk of the internet now.” she starts. “How was it working side by side with the infamous Jeon Jungkook?”
You lick your lips. “It was hard at first. I was new to this.” you explain. “But…Jungkook made it easier for me. We got to know one another and it made things more relaxed on set. I would say he’s become a very close friend to me.”
Jungkook simpers your way, his eyes twinkling a bit at your words. His heart does a small jolt at your praises, finding that he enjoys your praises and compliments - even if he hears them from everyone constantly.
Almost overnight, you are a star. Your name is everywhere - news articles, social media posts. Your name is screamed alongside Jungkook’s during red carpet events - events you and he both attend. While Jungkook admired how beautiful you looked while alone during your pictures, he adored holding the small of your back as it was time for you and him to take pictures together. He went as far as stating that for all events and press tours, you and he should coordinate outfits - for the movie, of course.
The movie was a success, skyrocketing your career alongside Jungkook’s. Witnessing billboards advertising your movie - a movie that actually made theaters and wasn’t a cheap made-for-tv movie - left you in awe.
And it didn’t stop there.
People actually liked you and Jungkook together. You were told to ignore hate tweets, but those were minimal compared to the ones you’ve received that enjoyed watching the movie - even if it was a disturbing one.
The people loving you and Jungkook together meant that you were supposed to give them what they wanted - what Jungkook wanted. “Stand a little closer to me.” he’d murmur to you, flashing lights nearly blinding you. Jungkook told you to try to not look directly into them, but past them - you didn’t get the hang of it just yet. “We should be seen more often in public.” Jungkook suggested, going as far as holding your hand and oftentimes, pressing his lips to the back of it.
You were far too shy to ask Jungkook why you and he continued going on like this. You danced around the question whenever asked about your relationship with the established man, you’d laugh nervously and just say you and he were just friends.
Even with the amount of pictures and videos of you and Jungkook at red carpet events, his hands on your waist and you so close to his side. But you had to! The crowded spaces of red carpets and microphones being shoved in your face was overwhelming - and Jungkook knew just how to react each and every time.
Jungkook enjoyed your perfume, especially when it was left on his suit at the end of the night. What he enjoyed more than your perfume on his suit, was having you in his bed at night.
Jungkook, however, wasn’t shy to speak about you. Whenever asked, his smile would brighten, as would his eyes. He could steer his interview away from him and talk about you for as long as they’d let him - “Y/N’s such a natural behind the camera,” he’d say. “It’s because of her performance that the director is thinking of a sequel,”
“I actually love Y/N very much,” your eyes widen as you listen to the interview, headphones over your ears. Your heart pumps loudly in your chest, your hands growing sweaty. “we’ve been dating for quite some time now…” he trails off with a laugh, a pink tint to his cheeks.
You tear the headphones from your ears and throw them aside. Your body is warm by his words, having been sent the interview countless times. Your phone hasn’t stopped buzzing the entire time that you’ve silenced your phone.
“You aren’t upset with me are you?” Jungkook asked when he arrives to your penthouse - it was a gift from him after you landed a modelling deal. He told you the cost was pocket change when you expressed concerns. He doesn’t tell you it’s because he has his own suite just on the other side of the building - not yet at least. “I thought you knew I loved you, Y/N, how could you not?”
You could never stay mad with Jungkook, especially not when he wraps you in a warm embrace. He always smells so clean - like soap, oddly enough.
Jungkook’s lips are already on your neck, kissing down the soft skin as you shudder. “I want people to know you’re mine.” he murmurs against you, hands possessively pulling you close. “Want to show the world just how much I love and adore you.” he states.
You’re naked in a matter of seconds. You could never stay mad at Jungkook for long. A part of you believes that without Jungkook, you would be nowhere. You wouldn’t be feating upon fine dining meals with him, and instead would be eating the same take-out chinese in your much smaller apartment booking shitty horror movie gigs.
Jungkook had done what he promised you. He had made you a star. People knew your name. They actually liked you and your performance - there was going to be a sequel set to start filming at the end of the year and you had Jungkook to thank for that; for believing in you.
Jungkook’s lips kiss down your stomach, forcing your legs apart. Your back is against your silk sheets, the coolness of them adding goosebumps to your warm skin. His hands are soft, only a bit callused as they slide down your naked body and rest on your thighs.
“You’re so beautiful, my love. You’re my little shining star.” Jungkook murmurs, kissing your inner thigh. He doesn’t like to waste time, even if he does adore worshipping your body.
Jungkook’s tongue, ever so slowly, teases your clit. He’s shuddering with excitement at your moans, finding them far too enticing. Far too enticing that he shoves his tongue deeper against your wet cunt.
Your hand tangles into Jungkook’s hair, lightly tugging to keep him in place. Your eyes watch the way his head bobs back and forth, devouring your pussy like his finest meal. He’s moaning against it, lapping his warm tongue against your clit over and over again. Suckling sounds are growing louder and louder, fingernails digging into your inner thigh to assure you don’t attempt to move in the slightest.
“Feels s-so good.” you whimper, grinding your hips a bit against his tongue, allowing yet another moan from parted lips.
Eyes flicker up to look at you, clouded in darkened lust. He continues to suckle and lick, never coming up for a breath until your legs are shaking, back arching and you’re moaning so loud that it dances off the high ceilings. The scene is so beautiful, he thinks. The floor to ceiling-high windows display the city lights, but your penthouse is so high that you never close your curtains.
Your thighs close in, caging Jungkook between your legs. You’re greedily grinding against his tongue, your stomach churning and sinking in. Jungkook doesn’t go to stop you - he doesn’t mind the way your thighs are squeezing his head. Instead, he allows you to grind against his tongue until you’re cumming.
You’re whining, eyes squeezed shut. He knows you’re going to cum, so his fingers curling inside of your already greedy cunt was just the icing on the cake. You’re babbling Jungkook’s name over and over again, voice growing higher and higher. Your pussy is soaking his lips and chin entirely and eventually, you’re cumming all over him.
“You’re so beautiful, baby, and all mine.” Jungkook grunts, removing himself from your glistening clit. “Mine, mine, mine.”
Your chest rises and falls, your pussy clenching and unclenching.
“Say it.” Jungkook demands. He starts with his shirt first, removing it from his body and discarding it. “Say that you’re mine.” he continues. He goes to his pants next, tearing them off along with his underwear. His cock is throbbing to be deep in your warm cunt.
“I’m yours.” you murmur, glading wrapping your arms around Jungkook as he hovers above you. Your hands roam his bare chest, to his shoulders then down his biceps. “I’m yours.” you repeat, fluttering your lashes innocently like you do.
Damn right you were, Jungkook thinks.
Jungkook doesn’t care about wearing a condom, but you’re also adamant on being on birth control. You just became a big star, getting pregnant wasn’t something that’s going to ruin that.
Jungkook’s cock is shoved right into you, your walls immediately tightening around him. He doesn’t hesitate to press your legs over his shoulder, gripping your thigh as he begins to pump his cock in and out of you. The way Jungkook stretches you is intoxicating, his cock ruining your pussy with how rough he is - but you’ve never complained.
Jungkook knows he’s a great fucker - he’s been told countless times. But with you, it’s different. He cares about your pleasure. He wants you shaking with bliss with how well his cock fucks you, witnessing your arousal coating his cock and thighs.
“My little star,” Jungkook coo’s, your face drawn in such gratification. Your hands squeeze his bicep in an attempt to slow him down, but he wasn’t going to. “you’re so beautiful on my cock, baby. All mine.”
Jungkook’s speed quickens, his skin slapping harshly against yours and it echoes off the high ceilings. It was beginning to rain, the droplets slamming against the window. His cock is pounding so deep and you swear you can feel him in your stomach.
“Your cock feels so good!” you gasp. Your hand squeezes his tattoo bicep for support, his tip reaching your g-spot each and every time.
“Yeah?” Jungkook chuckles, licking his lips. Your velvety walls entice him, sinking him deeper and deeper into you. He’s positive your thighs would have fingernail marks just as his biceps would have from yours, but of course neither of you care. “My shining star looks so pretty right now. You were upset because I told everyone I loved you, huh?”
Your cheeks are warm at the “love” word, but your heart is pounding. It all feels surreal - to be loved by someone like him. You were waiting to wake up one day and be back in your small apartment and for all of this to be a dream.
“N-No,” you cry, shaking your head a bit. “I love you, too.”
You’re unaware just how easily the two of you throw around the word love. Your love is from a mentee to a mentor, your admiration for Jungkook high. You never wanted to disappoint him and you prayed often that his own likeness for you wouldn’t fade.
Jungkook’s love for you is that of obsession, now - possession. He found you, a diamond in the rough, and gave you the opportunity of a lifetime. He molded you into the perfect star that you are now, beloved by the people and soon, you’d be at the top of the world.
All because of him.
“Fuck,” Jungkook groans, his eyes squinting into slits. “your pussy is amazing, my little star. All for me and me only.”
Jungkook forces your legs away and up against your shoulders. The new position causes you to yelp with how deep he is. He grinds his cock into you, watching your eyes widen and your lips fall apart.
“My pussy to fuck any time I want, right?” Jungkook growls, your bouncing breast enticing him. Fuck, did you feel good around him.
“Slow…slow down, Kook-”
“No,” Jungkook hisses. If anything, he goes harder.
You cry for Jungkook to slow down, but the way you were squeezing around him indicates that you don’t want him to. You’re milking his cock right now, leaking all over your bed that he’s paid for like a little whore. Your eyes water, becoming glossier as overstimulation hits you.
“My pussy to fuck as hard as I want, too. You belong to me, my little star. Everything when it comes to you is mine.”
You were so silly, Jungkook thinks, begging him to slow down but you’re cumming all over him. Sticky juices coating his abdomen as you lay limp against your bed, twitching legs - but Jungkook wasn’t done yet, not until he was cumming.
Your eyes are fluttering, moans a hushed whimper now as his cock pounds in and out of you sloppily, curses and grunts releasing from your lips until you feel him cum inside of you.
“You’re…firing me?”
You remain silent, eyes casting away as your agent looks between you and Jungkook.
“Y/N doesn’t need your services anymore.” Jungkook speaks up. You and he are seated in the diner and all you’re drinking is a latte at the moment. You were too nervous and you know you won’t be able to hold anything down.
Your agent scoffs. She licks her lips for a moment, glaring her eyes to you.
“Say something, Y/N.” she demands. “If you’re firing me, don’t have your boyfriend do it.” she scoffs with a bitter laugh.
Your body is warm with embarrassment and nerves. You didn’t want to look at her and see the look in her eyes of now being without a job. Your heart is pounding, your palms growing sweaty.
“You’re pathetic.” she groans.
“Watch your mouth.” Jungkook pipes in, his voice dangerously low.
The diner is nearly empty, only occupied with older people who always minded their business - one of the main reasons why Jungkook loved coming here with you. That, and the banana pancakes were the best in town.
“Fuck the both of you.” your now ex-agent spats, slamming her hands against the table. You are seated in the far back of the diner and no heads turn. “You think just because you’re an actress now that got your big break that you’re on top?”
You bite the inside of your cheek. You didn’t want to be here right now. This wasn’t even your idea, you think, it was Jungkook. He was the one that suggested that he be your agent and manager as he was an actor and he understood the in’s and out’s of the entertainment industry. He could negotiate you for bigger and better deals and movie contracts that suited you the best - not some agent who wasn’t known at all.
“I said,” Jungkook hisses, leaning against the table. “watch your fucking mouth.” he says through gritted teeth. His hand reaches out and two fingers poke against her forehead roughly and rather disrespectfully. “I was nice enough to give you another client. Don’t piss me off.”
“Jungkook,” you murmur, finally glancing up. “Stop-”
“Fuck you.” your ex-agent repeats. She stands and shakes her head. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Y/N.”
You weren’t sure you did.
Everything went through Jungkook first before you. With Jungkook managing you, that meant that the opportunities were endless. You were an ambassador for popular and well-known brands. You got to wear - and keep - clothing from high end brands. You stared in tv-shows and commercials and got movie deals alongside actors you’ve never thought you’d be in the same room as - all like Jungkook.
But Jungkook wasn’t just your agent and manager, but your boyfriend. He reads the things people say about you online - the good, the bad and the perverted. There were accounts that said such disgusting things about you - what they wanted to do to you.
And your toes.
Jungkook had managed to get the site taken down, but that wasn’t the end of it. You received fanmail and gifts and he only ever kept those that were from girls, but it was hard.
“The script needs to be changed.” Jungkook scoffs, slamming the book down against the coffee table.
“What’s wrong with it?” the director asks with raised eyebrows. “Y/N is the lead. Our final girl.”
“And that’s amazing.” Jungkook shrugs. Jungkook had told them prior that if they wanted you in this movie, that you had to be the final girl. He wouldn’t allow you to play a useless character - you were his shining star and stars don’t die in movies. “But there’s a sex scene.”
The director scoffs. “Yea.” he says slowly. “This is a horror movie. Sex sells in horror.” he says. “There’s sex scenes in the movie you two did together.”
Jungkook tilts his head, unamused. There was a reason why he doesn’t care about the sex scene you and he did in his movie - and the director knows that.
“If you want Y/N in your movie,” Jungkook begins. “change. The. Scene.” he says slowly. “Or she’s going somewhere else.”
The scene was changed and at every shoot you were supposed to be on, Jungkook was there. He loves seeing you act - you were a natural. He adored driving down and seeing you on billboards or against buildings.
Jungkook does this to keep an eye on you, of course. He trusts you, but not whatever men that were on set.
It was even better when Jungkook and you walked together, side by side and arm in arm. You and him were the hottest couple the entertainment industry had. Jungkook made it his mission to support all your projects, supporting them during interviews and events, showing how supportive he was of you and your growing career.
You’re so busy with this new success that you don’t even notice your ex-agent never working in the industry again. Wherever she tries to tell her story of how horrible Jungkook treated her, her accounts would just get banned or people would refuse to believe it. She isn’t allowed in any event near you or him and is escorted out by security upon arrival.
You also don’t notice how everyone steer clears from you at times. Not because of anything you’ve done, but because of Jungkook.
You haven’t heard the way he berated your co-star, not an unknown actress, but nowhere near his level, when she had accidently got in front of your shot during a scene.
You weren’t present when he threatened to make sure the director didn’t work in this industry again if he didn’t give you better clothing and lighting - his shining star deserved everything money could buy. After all, he was funding all of this.
You don’t - until you do.
You’ve never seen Jungkook so angry. The way he yells at the stylist for daring to dress you in clothes that aren't appealing. How she had cried before apologizing, rolling the rack of clothes out of your room. Your eyes have widened at Jungkook and he shakes his head. “It’s hard to get good help.”
“That was uncalled for.” you murmur. You turn your head to face him. He’s holding a small glass of dark liquor and he scoffs.
“Do you think I’d allow them to dress you in undeserving clothing, Y/N?” Jungkook licks his lips. “You deserve better.”
“You made her cry.” you cross your arms. “She’s just doing her job, Kook.”
Jungkook brings the glass to his lips again, dark eyes watching you as he takes another swig of it. “I’m doing my job, too.” he murmurs, licking his lips. “As your agent, manager and boyfriend.”
Your shoulders relax for a moment. You didn’t like when Jungkook was mean to people, especially at your expense. However, a side of you knew that he was doing this for your sake.
“I know.” you murmur, sighing. You drop your arms. “Still, go easy on them.”
Jungkook nods his head, but he knows more than anyone that he wasn’t going to go easy. Never when it came to you.
Whatever drama behind the scenes with Jeon Jungkook never made its way to the public. Whoever went against his orders were fired and blackballed - actors, crew, writers and directors. He had far too much pull in this industry that whatever happened behind closed doors would never see the light.
Jungkook loves you, however. You were his shining star, after all. He adored you with every fiber of his being. It’s why he finds himself now, on one knee with the largest diamond ring you’ve ever seen in your life. The crowd is screaming and the lights are flashing even faster now. At first you’re confused, until you hear everyone screaming “say yes”.
Your head turns to Jungkook and your eyes widen. Your heart is pumping so loudly in your ears that you find it hard to breathe. Your palms grow sweaty, nervousness building up. You were on the red carpet for a new movie - not a proposal.
Jungkook’s eyes narrow as you continue to look at him, a glint in his eyes that you’ve never seen before. It causes you to blink a few times before smiling widely. “...Y-Yes!” you squeal.
Jungkook slides the sparkling ring onto your finger and gets on your feet. He wraps you in his arms, kissing your forehead.
Jungkook senses your hesitance, the scared yet slightly upset look in your eyes - maybe because this was your moment that he had made about the two of you. Yet he does what he does because he loves you - you’re his shining star. He had molded you from the unknown actress in shitty movies, to a star whose light hadn’t faded all in under two years. He’s made you the top model, actress and ambassador - the least you could do was show him more appreciation for his hard word and investment.
After all, you didn’t want to be on the receiving end of Jungkook’s wrath. He could show you another side of him that you wouldn’t love in the slightest.
The director’s lips snap shut as Jungkook points at your portrait photo. Dare he say he takes several deep breaths before he speaks.
“She has little acting experience.” the direct murmurs. “She’s only ever starred in indie horror films that are complete trash-”
“I happened to enjoy “Attack of the Killer Space Beetles”.” Jungkook jokes. He couldn’t help but begin to laugh at how ridiculous the name sounded. “Besides, you said you wanted a fresh face, right?”
The director sighs, but nods his head. A new face alongside Jungkook, an academy award-winning one, was needed. He wanted the audience to come to the theatres because of Jungkook, but stay long enough for the story.
“Exactly. She auditioned. Her credentials are…” Jungkook trails off.
You did a lot of horror movies that only “horror lovers” would watch - for the sake of saying they’ve watched a lot of horror movies. They weren’t blockbuster or household names. They did, however, have a cult following. You were a newbie, but you did have a small fan base that enjoyed you being dragged across the ground covered in fake blood.
“This is a horror movie, as well.” Jungkook shrugs. He leans back into the leather seat and stretches his arms out. “Right in her element.”
“Yes but…there’s sex scenes.” the director shakes his head. “She’s never done that. She hasn’t even been nude before. I don’t have time to coach a new girl-”
“You don’t. That’s what the intimacy coach is for.”
The director ponders why Jungkook was fighting so hard for you specifically. Being a big name in the industry, Jungkook cost millions and was the highest paid in any movie franchise or television series he starred in. He directed a few movies himself, and even assisted in producing them. He was the reason as to why a few celebrities had careers today - he had an eye for talent.
Jungkook’s current eye was now on you - a fresh face. Your acting was good and you had the potential. You went to college for acting and all; a degree not everyone had. Your heart was in it, you just needed the opportunity.
Jungkook was going to be that opportunity for you. He watched the way your eyes widen as you walked into the audition room, script in hand. You were immediately nervous when your eyes locked with his that it caused Jungkook to smile with how innocent you were.
So new and naive to the world of cinema - anyone would take advantage of such naivety.
“Fine. If you think she’s good, then I’ll give her a call.” the director throws his hands up. Jungkook wasn’t a fool. He put on many celebrities - Kim Taehyung was one of the highest paid actors a part of a soap opera right now. The man hadn’t even come to the audition for himself, but instead as support for his friend. It was Jungkook who spotted the deep voiced man and asked him to audition for a role and said “Jungkook sent me”.
When your phone rings with an unknown number you hadn’t recognized, you assume it was either a spam call or a call from your agent telling you that you didn’t get the role but “there will be other roles available”.
You weren’t expecting to get a call from the same director as a week prior telling you that you got the role. You had forgotten how to breathe when the news was given to you that when the director asked if you were still there, you almost fainted.
“I’ll get in contact with your agent and pass her the details. In the meantime, Jeon Jungkook-” Your heart instantly pounds at the name. “-will be speaking with you soon. I hope it wasn’t bad that I’ve given him your contact information.”
“No!” you nearly scream, and you want to slap yourself. “I mean no, it’s not an issue.”
“Good.” the direct chuckles. “Jungkook has a good eye for talent, Ms. Y/L. He chose you himself.”
Your heart jolts and your eyes widen.
“If things go as planned, you could be just as big as him one day.”
Just as big as Jeon Jungkook one day.
Jeon Jungkook - thee Jeon Jungkook - had picked you. The award winning actor who’s graced your screen since you were a teenager had chosen you. You out of hundreds of female leads.
Upon your arrival at the audience, you were already nervous. You were in a room full of beautiful women, some you recognized. You contemplated turning around and going back home to this very apartment you rent for far too much than you can truly afford.
But you hadn’t. You stayed for hours and once your name was called, you entered. You audience and you got the role.
All because of Jeon Jungkook.
You could faint right now, your eyes swelling with tears. This could be the moment you studied so hard for. The acting classes you took daily cost you to work night shift, along with you studying in college for acting. You took your dream seriously and now…
“It’s paying off.” you say to yourself. You’re in complete silence now, head against your satin pillowcase. You’re staring up at the ceiling.
Your phone begins to buzz against your chest. You’re alarmed by the amount of notifications that are coming all at once.
Instagram notifications were coming through rapidly, all too quickly for you to grasp as to why. You open the app and find out for yourself.
You were an actress, yes, and you did have a bit of a following. You posted behind the scene pictures to your instagram sometimes and it garnered you over 10,000 followers.
You were shocked to see the following count rise from over 10,000, to nearly 100,000.
“W-What…?”
You understood why. The post shows up right as you click “home”.
Jeon Jungkook has followed you. He had uploaded a picture of him with a script in his hands, smiling. His lips are a rosy pink and the lip-piercing adds a touch of attractiveness - how was that even possible?
jeon.jk can’t wait to start filming our new horror movie “one way or another” with @yn. we’re both going to look good covered in blood 😭
Your breathing quickens.
Breathe.
Breathe.
“Oh fuck.” you gasp out, palms sweaty. This was an exact reminder that this was all real. Jeon Jungkook acknowledging you publicly. He appeared excited to work with you - fuck, he was the one that chose you.
Not to forget that Jungkook also said you were going to look good covered in blood.
“Oh fuck.” you repeat.
You’re running, your feet nearly getting caught on the pavement. The sky is dark and cloudless, and the street lights don’t do enough to shine your path.
Your heart is racing outside your chest and you feel as though your body is going to give out any moment now. You want nothing more than to stop and catch your breath, but you don’t. You don’t dare to.
Your footsteps are not the only ones you hear. The ones behind you are catching up - growing closer and closer. You don’t look back - that would only distract you. You could only wish that they are further than what they sound.
A loud screech releases from your throat when your hair is being pulled and you’re set backwards and right onto your back. Your manage to not hit your head on the way down, but your body is soaked in mud.
“Why are you running?”
That voice.
Your ankle is grabbed tightly and you’re being dragged. You continue to scream and cry as the man drags you closer to him. You attempt to kick your feet and to free yourself from this crazed man, but you’re unable to.
“Stop fucking screaming.” the man roars suddenly, his yells echoing off of the trees. “You,” a hand is slammed against your lips. “are only alive because I want you to be.”
Your heart pounds with how close the man was.
With how handsome, too. A handsome man like him didn’t do things like this. Handsome men with good jobs and money didn’t stalk you. They didn’t threaten your livelihood.
They didn’t chase you in the middle of the night, either - yet here he stood.
“Please.” you shake your head, crying. The tears finally spilled down your cheeks and your vision of the handsome man was blurring. “Please…”
“You’re so pretty when you cry.” the man laughs. His thumb rubs away a stray tear. “You’re pleading now because you’re scared. Where’s the woman that fought me earlier?”
You cry harder when the man shakes you roughly, now screaming in your face.
“Where is she? Where is she?!”
Your eyes grow wide when the man clenches your cheeks, forcing you to look at him. His dark eyes stare a hole through you. Almost if he was looking right through you - inside of you.
“Open your mouth.” the man commands.
You stiffen. Slowly, your eyes drifted to the side.
The director is seated in a chair. He’s watching the scene unfold, intrigued with how well you are acting. He doesn’t seem fazed that Jungkook had deviated from the script.
“I said,” Jungkook, in character, hissed. Without much thought, he squeezes your cheek until your mouth opens. He forces two of his fingers inside of your mouth and you’re entirely distraught to do anything. “open your mouth.” he repeats.
DId you somehow forget this scene? You’ve read the script countless times - there was no way this was in it. You’re far too shocked to do anything and neither Jungkook nor the direct stop.
“Let me see what that mouth of yours can do while you’re afraid.”
Your chest rises and falls, eyes widening. Jungkook’s fingers force themselves deeper inside of you, holding onto your limp form.
“Cut!”
You gasp when Jungkook’s fingers remove themself from your mouth. He wipes them onto his pants without a care and smiles at you. “You okay?”
The demeanor changes instantly. Jungkook’s eyes soften and the hardened expression you witnessed before is gone entirely.
This was all an act, of course. Jungkook was an actor. Of course he wasn’t some psychotic psycho chasing you through the woods.
“Y/N, you’re a natural.” the director calls from his chair. “I’m actually shocked by how well you’re doing. We’ve filmed all day now so we should have enough.” he says, clapping his hand. “Need everyone back here first thing tomorrow morning. Jungkook, Y/N,”
Your eyes turn back to Jungkook who is now standing. He offers you his hand - it’s covered in makeup to hide the tattoos - and you hesitantly take it.
“I’m sorry about the sudden change in script.” Jungkook murmurs to you. “I was told to improvise. He likes raw reactions.”
Raw reactions.
You nod your head, cheeks warming. “No problem, really.” you assure, yet you’d be lying if you say the change in script didn’t terrify you. It all seemed too real, even with countless people around you watching. Jungkook had a way that made you feel like it was only you and him around - and that’s just with the little scenes you and he acted in already.
“Intimacy coordinator wants to meet with the two of you.”
You bite your lip.
You knew that this was a horror film and there were scenes you’ve never done before. Sex scenes to be precise. You’ve read the script and you were left an embarrassed mess when you had to read the lines over with Jungkook, but he was professional. He made it easier for you with how polite and reassuring he was.
“You’re doing great.” Jungkook says as you and he walk down the grassy hill towards the trailers.
Jungkook had his own trailer and much to your surprise, he had even rented you one. Typically, there was a trailer for people to share, but you’ve never had your own. It was never in the budget for the films you’ve done.
“Thanks.” you smile at him. “I was hoping I wouldn’t fall on my ass before you got to me.”
Jungkook chuckles. “You’re a natural on camera.” he says, and the compliment causes your body to warm up. “You can tell that you’re accustomed to the horror vibe.”
You nod your head a bit. “I try to be. I’ve been in corny horror movies though.” you joke.
You recall when you and Jungkook had officially met to go over the script and he mentioned he enjoyed ‘Attack of the Killer Space Beetles’. You were immediately embarrassed, but Jungkook had actually watched and enjoyed it. He recounted scenes from the movie that even you forgot about.
“Corny movies are only a stepping stone to your big break.” Jungkook says. He places a hand onto your shoulder and squeezes it gently before bringing you closer to his side in a sideways hug.
Meeting with the intimacy coordinator had only reminded you that you’ve indeed never experienced anything like this. She was sweet in asking for your opinions - if you felt comfortable in the amount of sexual activity that would be happening behind the camera.
A sex scene was new to you, but not to Jungkook. That also caused more nerves to be added onto your shoulders. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself too much in front of him and the rest of the crew.
Jungkook, however, was more supportive. He insisted that things weren’t as they seemed and most outcomes were just illusions.
“So since you’re new,” the intimacy coordinator states. “you’re possibly wondering how scenes are executed on set. These are modest garments.”
The coordinator shows you different skin-color shades of garments. “They’re strapless things with a barrier inside of them. Do you want to feel?”
Though you’re humiliated, you are also intrigued. You touch the garment and hum as you nod your head. You suppose this is how things are done - so you wouldn’t actually be feeling Jungkook.
“For men, we have them wear something called a modesty pouch.”
Jungkook leans back into his chair. He watches the way your eyes examine all of the garments, genuinely intrigued by it all as the intimacy coordinator explains to you how everything is done. Your naivety with how everything works is what causes Jungkook’s lips to form a small smile - you were cute, he thinks. This was like a whole new world to you that you’ve never been a part of; one that he was showing you.
“We have different types of garments you could wear and try on. Since you are new, we’ll have to find your size.” you nod along to her speech. “And we’ll also have to work on what we call “faking it”.”
“Fake moaning.” Jungkook nods his head at your confused look.
“We have to make it look real while we’re filming so the final product appears as such. But as you can see, it’s all fake at the end of the day.”
For the next hour, you were explained step-by-step of how intimacy works, camera angles, faking sounds and all. Once the meeting was over, you felt that this was something you could actually do without feeling like such a newbie.
“Feel better?” Jungkook asks.
You and Jungkook are side by side now as you make your way out of your own trailer. You changed back into your clothes and decided that it was best for you to head back home. The evening sun casted a burnt orange type of hue over the set entirely.
“Yes.” you nod your head with a soft grin. “I can’t wait to watch the movie when it’s all done. I want to redeem myself from my past work.”
Jungkook snickers. “You’ll be amazing. Trust me.” he assures. “I waited to ask if you wanted to grab dinner and go over the script.”
You blink a few times, uncertain. Your stomach was rumbling and you could go for food right now - but did you truly want to go over the script? “What scenes did you want to go through?”
Jungkook shrugs his shoulders. “A few. Especially if we’re going to get told to keep improvising.”
Improvising. Your mind flashes with the way Jungkook looked and sounded earlier, followed by the way he forced his fingers into your mouth. It was eerie, especially when you didn’t know it was happening. You’re positive, however, that the raw reaction the director was looking for was highly evident.
“It shouldn’t be an issue, I guess.” you shrug your shoulders. You didn’t want Jungkook to think you weren’t passionate about the project - you were!
This is how you and Jungkook found yourselves, eating takeout while attempting to go over the script. You willingly drink the wine Jungkook gives you, admitting to yourself that it actually was an amazing taste - he told you it was thousands of dollars and you cannot comprehend just how someone could spend that much on it.
“Okay, let’s get back to the script.” you say after another sip of wine. “Where did we leave off?”
Jungkook turns a few pages before looking up at you. “We should try an intimate one. Get it out of the way so tomorrow it’ll be easier to perform.”
Nodding your head, you take a deep breath. You had read this scene countless times to memorize your lines. Watching Jungkook get into character was amazing. Even while practicing, he still gives a stellar performance.
“I missed you.” He says, taking a few steps towards you. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
“I-I haven’t.” you say. This scene involves you being in bed, but you and Jungkook are in his living room, so the couch would have to do.
“Yes you have. Are you afraid of me?” Jungkook comes closer until he’s hovering above you, dark eyes tracing over your body. “You know I’ll never hurt you.”
You flinch when a hand comes near you. “I-I…you told me you’d kill anyone who touched me. That’s not normal.” you quip.
“I can’t help how I feel!” Jungkook hisses. He plops down besides you, his eyes softening. “Please, baby…I’m sorry. Just give me another chance. You know I’ll never hurt you. Sometimes I get angry and…”
This was where the intimacy got started. Jungkook’s lips are on your neck immediately, kissing at the nape of it. His hand places itself onto your inner thigh and he squeezes.
“You drive me crazy.”
Your eyes close for a moment, swallowing. Jungkook kisses up your neck, hand growing closer and closer to you.
“We shouldn’t be doing this…” you murmur. “...you-”
You stop immediately when Jungkook’s hands touch your clothed heat. He cups it in his palm, your cheeks warming.
“Sssh…” Jungkook hums, continuing to rub. You weren’t wearing any safety garments - Jungkook knows this. You’re unable to move as he continues to rub. “...just let me.”
Jungkook squeezes your cupped heat, eyes flickering to see your reaction. Your shy face appears bewildered and you’re unable to move.
“You okay?” Jungkook asks. That wasn’t part of the script, and neither was him touching you. “Does it feel good?”
“Jung…kook?”
You say his name so sweetly that it causes him to moan.
“I like the way you say my name.” Jungkook admits. He’s so close to your face. It’s warm with embarrassment and nerves. This wasn’t part of the script - was he improvising again? Even this is too much.
“W-What are you doing?” you ask. He’s close like he was before, his eyes dark with someone else that you couldn’t put your finger on. Your heart is pumping so loudly, your thighs quivering.
“We’re going to be around one another for months. You and I have to look like we’re intimate on camera.” Jungkook’s tongue swipes along your neck. The hair on your skin rises. “We mind as well get comfortable.”
Comfortable…
The way Jungkook’s hands forces it’s way into your pants, you’re entirely stiff. You’re afraid to move, especially when his fingers rub along your clothed heat through your panties. A soft gasp comes from your lips.
“It feels good, right?” Jungkook hums against your neck. His tongue slides up towards your ear, his teeth nibbling slightly on it just to tease you further. “Talk.”
“Is this…okay?” you ask him, as if you aren’t the one that should be assured. Jungkook looks into your eyes and it drives him crazy. Those sweet, innocent eyes. Such naivety behind them.
“Of course this is okay. You feel good, don’t you?” Jungkook asks.
You nod your head a bit. It felt good - but you and Jungkook were co-workers. You didn’t want to go too far with him and have things be awkward on set later on. Nor did you want him to think you were a groupie who is willing to jump his bones at any given moment.
“We’re going to have to act in front of the camera, Y/N. You’re going to have to moan…” Jungkook murmurs. “I want you to be completely comfortable for me. It’s just us.”
You don’t move when Jungkook tugs your pants down and discards them on the floor. His eyes are intense, watching you the entire time. He places his hands back between your legs, continuing to rub your wet core through your panties.
“You’re new to this.” Jungkook chuckles. “But it’s just you and me. I want you to be comfortable enough for me, okay? Tell me how you feel.”
You aren’t new to sex, but those hookups weren’t Jeon Jungkook. You were self-conscious already. You’re positive he’s done this with countless women - all beautiful models and actresses. You were just you; a newbie in the world and you’re positive you look it.
“It feels nice.” you mumble.
“Yeah?” Jungkook chuckles again, just because you were so cute. “And now?”
Pushing your panties aside, Jungkook slides his fingers across your wet clit. He rubs a bit more profusely, hissing as just how good he knows your pussy feels. He knows it's tight and would milk him for everything he has.
“In order to look convincing on camera, we’re going to have to experience it behind the scenes.” Jungkook explains. “Don’t you want this? This movie is going to be big.”
Jungkook wouldn't say he was manipulating you. You could push him away and say no - he just knows you won’t. You did want this. He was going to open doors for you that would’ve remained closed if it wasn’t for him.
"The scene we’re acting out is a bit aggressive, but not all of them are.” Jungkook assures. His cock tightens at just the thought of handling you the same way his movie character handles yours. “You trust me right?”
Slowly, and slightly unsure, you nod your head.
“Good.” Jungkook removes his hand from your clit. “Get up. And strip.”
Jungkook was blurring the lines between reality and the script. But you wanted to be good - good enough for him to realize that he didn’t make a mistake in choosing you.
“Yes, sir.” you nod your head, following along with the script.
Jungkook watches you peel off the remaining clothing. Your bra falls right besides your panties, erect nipples staring back at him.
“Go up the stairs and to the right. That’s my bedroom.” Jungkook instructs. “We can’t act this scene out on the couch.”
You can feel Jungkook watching you as you do as he says. Being fully nude before him is nerve wrecking and you just hope you can appear sexy as you’re supposed to. You and him were actually going to do this - there’s no garments to hide either of your parts from one another.
“You think I’d allow anyone else to have what’s mine?” Jungkook hisses. He removes his belt as you sit on his bed, innocent eyes looking up at him.
“N-No, sir.” you murmur back.
“Exactly. I’d kill anyone who thinks they’ll take you away from me.” Jungkook pushes his pants off. You don’t want to stare at the obvious bulge in his underwear, but it’s hard not to. “How should I punish you then? You tried to run away from me.”
You swallow. “Sir-”
“How about you get on your knees?”
You lick your lips. Your character is supposed to be frightened, doing whatever it takes to survive Jungkook’s character - the obvious bubbling psychopath.
Witnessing you on your knees, naked with those eyes causes something in Jungkook’s chest to rumble. His cock throbs, wishing you’d touch him already.
“I’d do anything, sir.” you say. Your soft hands lift up to touch him, sliding up his bare legs until they are on either side of his thighs.
“Open your mouth.” Jungkook demands. His free hand is placed on your chin. “Wider.” he instructs over and over until your tongue is out.
You’re trembling when Jungkook pushes his underwear out. This is something you’ve never done. Oral sex wasn’t something you were interested in with simple hookups. His cock is big, veiny with a wet tip. Without warning - though you should’ve expected, he rubs his tip against your tongue. It’s salty and at the first sign of your hesitance, Jungkook tightens his fingers on your chin.
“You’re doing good.” Jungkook instructs. “You’ve sucked on a lollipop before, right? Treat it like that.”
This was Jungkook talking to you, not his character. His breathing increases when you listen. You were such a good girl - and your compliance would be rewarded. He could make you into the perfect actress - highly awarded just like he was. In due time, of course.
You do as Jungkook says, licking his tip just as you would a lollipop. It’s new to you and you aren’t sure if you’re doing it correctly, but Jungkook’s gasping lowly so you assume you are. Your eyes flicker up to look at him for reassurance.
“You’re doing good.” Jungkook says as if he knows. “Just…take more of me, yeah?”
Jungkook thrusts himself deeper into your wet mouth, groaning when you allow him to with little resistance. His hand holds onto your cheek. “Stay like this, okay. Let me…”
Jungkook begins to pump his cock in and out of you slowly. His moaning increases, his dark eyes fluttering every so often. You’re shocked with how wet you were, your thighs clenching together. Doing this for Jungkook and witnessing how good it makes him feel makes you feel good.
“You’re so beautiful taking my cock.” Jungkook speaks, rubbing his thumb against your cheek. “You’re so good.”
Jungkook picks up the pace, as does his moans. Watching the way your wet mouth takes his cock deeper and deeper with little resistance, even if he can see the whelming tears forming to your eyes with how overwhelming it was. Fuck, you were such temptress.
“You’re such a good girl, Y/N. I promise you’d have it all. Just be good to me, okay?” Jungkook’s cock is so deep in your mouth that you cannot physically respond, but a hum vibrates from your throat and sends Jungkook into a frenzy.
You’re unsure how you haven’t gagged more than a couple times with how deep Jungkook was, growing more aggressive by the second. You’re breathing through your nose heavily for air, your eyes glossy.
Jungkook spills entirely into your throat, the salty, warm substance causing you to actually gag. You swallow it, unsure what else to do after he removes his cock from your mouth. You finally breathe from your lips, blinking away the tears from your eyes.
“Look at you,” Jungkook hisses. “turn around.”
You were going by the script again. Once you can see again, you do as you’re told. You already know what’s next - the belt still in his right hand. You had to prepare for when you and him do this scene you suppose.
Jungkook wraps the leather belt around your neck, tightening just enough that it isn’t choking you. He forces you onto your feet.
“This is what I do to whore’s who don’t listen.”
You’re forced onto the bed. You immediately know what position to get into, having read the script. And Jungkook thinks you’re such an obedient person that it drives him crazy.
You aren’t sure how this scene was going to play out in front of the camera, but Jungkook isn’t hesitant to slam a hand directly on your bare ass. You yelp at the sudden action - and the sensation of it.
“Count.” Jungkook demands.
“One.”
SLAP!
“Two.”
SLAP!
“T-Three…”
SLAP!
SLAP!
SLAP!
Your thighs are quivering, forced apart so Jungkook could watch the way arousal trickles down your thighs helplessly. Your ass is stinging, a pleasurable feeling you’ve never experienced until now.
Jungkook yanks at the belt and you’re forced upward and against his chest. You struggle a moment, eyes widening.
“You’re wet.” Jungkook says against your ear. “You like this, don’t you?”
You nod slightly, cheeks warm with embarrassment.
“That’s okay.” Jungkook assures. “I want you to feel good, too.”
Jungkook’s free hand slides between your legs. He doesn’t allow you to move and his grip onto the belt is firm. He likes the way you helplessly lean against his chest while his hand rubs along your wet clit.
“Let’s see how well you take my fingers.”
Jungkook’s fingers are intruding, but he doesn’t care. He slides them between your folds and right in you. You’re tighter than he thought, fully taking him entirely.
You gasp at the feeling, your pussy clenching instantly. Jungkook doesn’t intend on being soft with you - no. It’s what you were going to have to get used to. This wasn’t a soft movie - it was hard. It was intruding and invasive - showcasing just how obsessed Jungkook’s character was with yours.
Your pussy is squelching so loudly that Jungkook adds another finger. You’re moaning helplessly, your thighs aching too close to stop the overstimulation but Jungkook isn’t going to allow it. He forces his knee between your legs to assure you stay exactly like this.
“Jungkook,” you gasp, a hand on his wrist. “s-slow down, please. I-i can’t-”
“Shut up.” Jungkook hisses. He was enjoying fucking his fingers into your pussy. He can feel it - the throbbing and clenching and unclenching.
“I have to…” you’re breathing heavily. Your eyes squeeze shut and your hands, to no avail, are attempting to pry Jungkook off of you. His hand only tugs on the belt.
There’s pressure building up in you. You felt as though you had to pee and you weren’t going to humiliate yourself and do that now. “P-please…!”
“Let go, Y/N. I know you feel it.” Jungkook’s voice is so deep that it tickles something in you. He wasn’t going to release you - not until you did what he said.
You have no control over the pressure that builds and builds until your body forces it out. It sprays entirely onto your thighs and onto the silk bed sheets.
“Such a good girl you are, Y/N.” Jungkook shakes his head, his wet fingers removed from your hole.
Jungkook isn’t going to let you regain any peace - not when you and he had to perfect your roles. When you feel something else at your entrance, you’re too overstimulated to say anything.
Jungkook enters you. You’re so wet that he slides past your walls effortlessly. He groans, feeling your wet pussy around his cock is mind blowing. You were amazing, he thinks, so wet and willing. He finds pleasure in knowing that it was him that is going to discover you and all your talents.
Jungkook begins to pump, forcing you onto his bed so he can get a better grip on you. Your legs are forced apart and your head is shoved into the wet sheets. You’re unable to form words and your eyes are still shut. He’s so deep, pounding into you with every ounce of aggression the script calls for.
“You’re going to be a star, Y/N. I’ll make sure of it.” Jungkook hisses. He’s positive that you’re only half listening, the other half of you babbling and moaning to yourself. But he’ll make sure to tell you once more in the morning.
Your hands grip the sheet, unsure if you were going to be able to handle another orgasm, but Jungkook wasn’t going to stop until you both were there.
Your ass bounces against his abdomen, your wet pussy gushing with more and more juices that he’s unsure just how this was possible. You’re creaming around his cock, so good that he’s positive you’re cumming over and over again.
“You love this, don’t you? You get to get fucked by me and have the world at your hands. You and I…” Jungkook speaks, now more to himself. To think about it, he could be your guide. Someone to protect you from harm in this industry - you were new and naive. Anyone could take advantage of you. “...I’ll protect you, Y/N. Make sure no one has their way with you.”
You whimper once more when you feel another sensation flowing though you and Jungkook are chuckling with delight. You’re limp, forced to allow Jungkook to have his way with you.
“Maybe we should become the next power couple, huh? Dominate the industry…the perfect actress I can have you be…”
Jungkook’s thrusts become sloppy, satisfied with the possibility of making you the star he knows you can be. The one you and he could be together - fuck, he was going to cum. His eyes squeeze shut, a few more thrusts and-
You feel warmth pool through you and Jungkook falls right on top of you. Your thighs are trembling and your eyes are heavy. You’ve cum more than you ever had before and you had no energy in you to move.
Jungkook is panting, his mouth right against your shoulder. He’s still pumping cum into you, sweat forming on his forehead. One thing for sure, Jungkook couldn’t wait to make you a star.
Yooooooo I’m on a yandere kick and this was the perfect scratch to my itch! Like I know yandere is technically toxic but this JK is so bad he’s delicious! I’m reading EVERYTHING! More than once! 🤭
pairing: jungkook x reader
genre: heavy smut content
summary: It was a stormy anniversary night that turned into disappointment, obsession, and desperate love when Jungkook showed up uninvited. The chaos that followed became a reminder that he can never get enough of you.
Rain pounds against the windows. The lights flicker, and a flash of lightning splits the sky, thunder chasing right after. Your chest tightens. You step toward the window to close the curtains, but headlights cut through the storm.
A car stops in front of your house.
Through the blur of rain, you can’t see clearly, but you already know who it is.
You scoff, roll your eyes, and yank the curtains shut. Dropping onto the couch with crossed arms, you pretend the night isn’t already getting under your skin.
A few minutes pass before there’s a knock at your door. It’s soft, nearly drowned out by the storm, but still there. Persistent. If you weren’t paying attention, you’d miss it.
“Babe, open up, please. I’m already soaking wet out here.”
You hear Jungkook’s voice outside the door, and irritation bubbles in your chest. You want to turn off the lights, hide under a blanket, and pretend you’re not home. Let him stand out there in the rain like the stubborn fool he is.
Then lightning flashes, and before you know it, you’re unlocking the door.
The storm follows him inside. He’s soaked, clothes plastered to his skin, water dripping from his hair as he shakes himself off like a wet dog.
You cross your arms, glaring.
And him? He just grins, like showing up uninvited in the middle of a storm is perfectly normal. He leans in for a kiss, but you shove him back without a second thought.
“What the fuck, Jungkook? You’re soaking wet!”
He laughs, the audacity radiating off him. “Sorry, baby.”
He peels off his leather jacket, then his shirt. He uses it to wipe the water off his face.
You stay rooted in place, annoyed as hell. “I told you not to come. It’s storming. What if something happened to you on the way here?”
He just shrugs, flashing that smug little smirk. “Guess we’ll never know.”
You groan and turn to walk away, but you don’t get far. He’s already wrapping himself around you.
“Babeee, I’m sorry, okay?” he says in that sickly sweet voice, arms locked around you. He buries his face into your neck, and you immediately shake out of his grip.
“I hate you,” you snap. “You didn’t follow what we fucking agreed on!!”
Before you can storm off, he grabs you and pulls you into one of those suffocating bear hugs, holding you so tightly you can't even move.
“I’m really sorry,” he murmurs. “Taehyung called. His car broke down and he needed help. I thought I could still make it in time, babe, I swear. But by the time I got done, the storm was already insane. Even if I made it, we wouldn’t be able to go anywhere in this weather.”
You were supposed to be out with him tonight. 2nd anniversary. But there was no solid plan, no real direction. Just him tossing random-ass suggestions that led nowhere. And then he disappears, doesn’t answer your calls, barely replies to your messages. And suddenly you find out after the sky opens up that he was at his friend’s place this whole time?
Fuck that.
“That’s not even the point,” you snap, your voice rising just as the rain slams harder against the windows. “You didn’t answer your fucking phone. Your messages made no sense. You could’ve told me earlier. Then I could’ve just told myself, ‘Cool, guess he decided fixing Taehyung’s car was more important than spending our anniversary together. A car that could’ve waited ‘til tomorrow, by the way!’”
Your words are sharp, loud, and the rain outside feels like background noise now.
“I’m sorry, babe. Really sorry.”
You keep cussing him out, shoving at his chest, telling him to get the hell off you, but he doesn’t budge. He just keeps holding you, arms locked around your waist like he belongs there, murmuring “I’m sorry” over and over again.
You’re still pissed. Honestly, you didn’t even want to see him tonight. But the more you curse, the more tired you get. And somewhere between telling him to go to hell and calling him an idiot, you stop fighting. Your hands go limp against his chest, and you let yourself sink into his arms, still stubborn, still mad, but warm now. Weak to the way he holds you like he means it.
“You don’t know how much you pissed me off, Jeon Jungkook,” you mutter against his shoulder, your voice sharp but your body already betraying you.
His grip loosens slightly, just enough for him to press a soft kiss to the side of your neck. Then another. And another. Slow, warm, and way too gentle for how mad you are. Goosebumps erupt on your skin like your body’s already forgotten you’re mad.
You bite the inside of your cheek, trying not to melt, but then he looks at you, and goddamn, those eyes. Dark. Hungry. Unapologetically his.
The air between you shifts. Heavy. Charged.
And fuck it.
You grab him by the back of the neck and crash your lips onto his. Hard and essy. His hands slide down your back, guiding you closer like he’s been dying to feel you again. You clutch his shoulders, your fingers digging in as his mouth moves against yours with that same desperate apology in every kiss.
Then his tongue slides into your mouth and he sucks on your bottom lip.
You gasped as his kisses traveled down to your neck, finding yourself desperate for air as he continued to tease and excite you with his touch. He pressed himself firmly against you, holding onto you as he left a mark on your neck, claiming you. You barely had time to catch your breath before he was back at your lips, kissing you with a fervor.
He pulled back just long enough to speak, his voice coming out in a low whine as he apologized once again. "I'm so sorry, baby," he murmured, his lips finding yours once more.
A shiver ran through you as you felt yourself growing hotter, your underwear already starting to cling to you. Without warning, he lifted you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he carried you into the bedroom, the door closing behind him, and he laid you down on the bed, his hands still gripping your thighs as he continued to kiss you, his body pressing you into the mattress.
The two of you were locked in a moment of silence, both of you gasping for air as he hovered over you, his body a beautiful display of his muscles. His skin is glistening in the dim light, every line of his abs clearly defined as you gaze at him with hungry eyes. He peels off your top and then your shorts, leaving you in nothing but your underwear. His gaze roams your body, making your stomach clench. He bites his bottom lip, the gesture making you shiver, before he slowly leans in, capturing your lips in a kiss.
You break the kiss, intending to sound annoyed, but the words come out more like a plea. "This is your idea of a celebration?" you say, your voice low and breathless.
He grins at your tone, his fingers gently tracing your cheek. "Maybe it is, maybe it's not," he replies, his smirk growing wider.
He slowly unclasps the bra you're wearing, letting it fall to the floor. Before you can even catch your breath, his mouth is on your breast, warm and hungry. You gasp loudly, twisting your legs restlessly as his tongue begins to lick your right nipple.
You couldn't tear your eyes away from the sight of him between your breasts. His cheeks hollowed out as he sucked on your nipple. The desperation in his movements was turning you on like a goddamn bitch.
He traced circles around your hard nipples with his thumbs, the sensation driving you wild. Suddenly, his eyes snapped up to meet yours, a hunger burning in his gaze.
"You fucking love it, don't you?" he whispered, biting his lower lip as he watched your chest heave with each breath.
When you nod, he pinches your nipples harder, rolling them between his fingers until you let out a moan that's half pleasure, half desperation.
"Say it," he demands again, his voice low and rough. “Tell me how much you fucking love it.”
“I love.. i-it!”
He continues to suck your nipples, his hips grinding against yours in slow circles as if they have minds of their own. Even through his pants, you can feel his dick growing harder by the second.
“Damn, you're already so fucking wet." He chuckles playfully, licking his fingers, then he spreads your legs aggressively, baring your pussy right in front of him.
"Fuck, you taste so good," he murmurs against your clit, his tongue swirling and flicking. Each lick sends shocks through your body. Every moan feels like an explosion inside.
He spreads your pussy lips wide with his fingers, exposing you completely. His tongue laps at your entire pussy, starting from your hole up to your clit. You're too overwhelmed with pleasure to even look at him anymore. All you can do is feel.
He curls his fingers inside you, hitting that spot that makes your legs shake. His tongue is still working overtime on your clit, sucking and licking, leaving you breathless. You're a mess of moans, and your tits are bouncing with each thrust of his fingers.
As you sensed the orgasm building up inside, you instinctively reached down to help Jungkook rub your clit. But before you could cum, he stopped abruptly.
"Jungkook!" You cried out in frustration, body aching with anticipation. But before you could even process what was happening, his lips crashed down on you to kiss you. He pinned your hands above your head, holding you as he devoured your mouth.
"You're not going to cum yet, babe," he whispered, his voice low and commanding. With a swift motion, he removed his pants, revealing his massive, thick cock. Veins bulged beneath the surface, making your heart race even faster.
Still pinned beneath him, you felt his left hand slide onto your side, while his right hand pressed into the bed and his left foot dug into the floor, supporting his weight. Jungkook began to rub his erection in front of you, his eyes burning as he gazed at you.
You bit down on the inside of your cheeks, eyes fixed on Jungkook as he stroked himself in front of you. Your gaze locked, the tension between the two of you is visible. Your thighs instinctively pressed together, the friction making you even more aroused as you watched him.
Without breaking eye contact, Jungkook slowly lowered his dick, pressing it against your pussy. He teased you, moving his it up and down, the wetness making it easy for him to glide against you, as you dug your fingers into the bed mattress.
"I'm still amazed by how my cock fits into your tight pussy," he whispered, his voice husky. His words sent shivers down your spine as he continued to rub against you.
Suddenly, you grabbed his arm and pulled him beside you. In a swift motion, you straddled him, taking control. Jungkook's eyes widened in surprise, but they quickly lit up with excitement as he stared at your body hovering above him.
A smirk spread across Jungkook's face as he licked his lips. "My baby wants to be on top tonight, huh?" he asked, his voice low and husky.
You shot him a determined look. "After how you pissed me off today, I'm not letting you call the shots tonight." With that, you positioned yourself between his legs, thighs spreading wide as you slowly rubbed your pussy against his erect dick. Jungkook's head threw back, his eyes closed in pleasure, as he bit down on his bottom lip.
He propped himself up on the headboard, his gaze fixed on you as you teasingly rubbed your pussy against his dick, coating it with your wetness. With deliberate slowness, you guided his massive cock into your pussy, taking your time as you adjusted to its size. A soft moan escaped your lips as the initial discomfort gave way to pleasure, and you finally felt comfortable with him inside you.
Jungkook’s gaze burned with a mix of awe and hunger. "You're so fucking gorgeous, Y/N," he moaned, his breath uneven.
You braced yourself by placing your hands on your sides, then began to bounce on his cock. Your mouth fell open, a gasp escaping you.
The room was dim, the storm outside throwing shadows across the walls. Even in the half-light, you could see the raw intensity in Jungkook’s eyes, locked on you as if he couldn’t look away. Every roll of thunder seemed to match the rhythm of your body, blending with his deep moans that pushed you to move faster.
"FUCK, Y/N! Baby, don't stop," he gasped, his voice breaking with desperation. His tone only fueled your desire, driving you to ride him harder and faster.
As the thunderstorm rages outside, you let out a moan. He pulls back, craving your lips, and sucks on your nipples, sending you into a madness.
He then devours your breasts with his tongue, his eyes burning with hunger and desire as he faces you.
"Baby, I need to capture this," he growls, his lips brushing against yours, his tongue getting deeper. He breaks away, gasping, "Let's film this, please?"
As you feel the heat rising, you give a slight nod. Without hesitation, he reaches for his phone, opens the camera, and presses record. He positions it on the bedside table, capturing the perfect angle of the two of you.
Being filmed in intimate moments wasn't foreign to you. He'd been doing it for a while now. You got used to it, thinking it was just his little habit. You didn’t mind, because you trusted him and let him have what he wanted.
His hands held your waist, guiding your movements as he sucked your skin. His lips and tongue roam across your neck, breasts, and every inch of your upper body, sending shivers down your spine.
As you moved in perfect sync, you sensed that he was about to cum. He grasped your thighs, his fingers digging deep, and thrust himself into you with intensity. Your moans grew louder, echoing the intensity of his movements.
"Babe, I'm getting close," he whispered, his voice laced with urgency. "Suck me, please." He begged.
Without hesitation, you broke free from his embrace, and he lifted himself up. You shifted back, aligning your head with his cock, and took him in.
His massive dick stretched your limits, only halfway fitting in your mouth. You countered by using your hand to coax the rest, working in with your lips.
"Baby, don't stop, please! Fuck, fuck, fuck!" he moaned, his head thrown back, a sight that only increases your arousal. You couldn't help but pleasure yourself with your free hand, the sensation building as you sucked.
But nothing prepared you for what came next. With a sudden jolt, he thrust his hips, destroying your mouth, and you felt a burst of panic as you struggled to catch your breath. Yet, you continue, determined to see him cum.
His release came with a raw, thunderous moan. Cum filled your mouth in a rush, and he pulled back, stroking himself urgently until every last cum left his body.
He grabbed his phone next, zooming in to capture your face.
“Goddamn, baby girl,” he panted, still filming as he continued to stroke himself dry.
With a firm but tender hand, he lifted your head, dragging his cum across your lips and urging you to take it in.
"Swallow them all, baby. C'mon," he murmured, his voice low and satisfied.
As the last droplet of his cum disappeared down your throat, he remained frozen, admiring your used and exhausted face. The camera had stopped rolling, but his fascination lingered. His fingers gently stroked your cheeks, tracing the contours of your gasping features.
“So much beauty, baby.” He said, caressing your face.
He guided you back against the headboard, then got up to switch on the lamp and grab the tissues and wipes from your drawer. By the time he returned, you were leaning there with your head resting back, eyes heavy with sleep. The sight of you like that made him pause; it was something he could never get tired of. Worn out, messy, completely undone because of him. And the more he looked, the more it stirred something deeper inside him.
“What are you gonna do?” you asked, your voice low and worn out. He sat beside you, pulling out a baby wipe before dragging it slowly across your face, cleaning the remaining cum he left behind. His dick twitched hard in his hand, aching to fuck your mouth again.
“Cleaning you up,” he murmured, his voice low as he gently dragged the wipe across your face. When he was done, he grabbed a tissue, dabbing softly until your skin was dry. You looked spent. Eyes heavy, body slack, but he wasn’t even halfway through with what he wanted from you.
The moment he tossed the tissue aside, your gazes locked. That alone was enough to thicken the air between you. He leaned in without hesitation, his mouth crashing onto yours. You kissed him back, slowly.
“C’mon, baby. We’re just getting started,” he teased against your lips, his voice playful. He shifted behind you without breaking the kiss, spreading his legs wide so you were seated snugly between them. His hand slid up, fingers squeezing your tits, while the other drifted lower, parting your thighs and finding your pussy.
He rubbed you slowly, deliberately, until your body trembled. Breaking the kiss, he brought his fingers to his mouth, licking them wet before sliding back down to your clit. The slick glide made you gasp, a shaky moan slipping past your lips.
“A-ahhh…” The sound alone was enough to make his dick leak, throbbing with the urge to take you apart all over again.
Once he felt how soaked you were, he slid two fingers inside without hesitation. Your back arched instantly, a cry spilling out of you as his other hand kept working your tits, rolling and pinching until your moans broke into shameless sounds.
Not wanting to miss a second, he grabbed his phone with his free hand, angling it in front of you. The camera had the perfect view, the way his fingers pumped into your pussy, the way your body writhed against him. With a quick tap, the red light blinked on.
“Jun–Jungkook… you–fuck!” you gasped, words tumbling over themselves as he picked up the pace, driving into you harder. The slick sounds between your thighs filled the room, your body already trembling with release.
He leaned close, lips brushing your ear as he whispered, “What was that again, baby?” His voice was a low tease before his mouth closed around your earlobe, sucking it slow while his fingers pushed you right to the edge.
Your back arched high as he shoved another finger inside you, fucking you harder and faster. The pressure was overwhelming, your body twitching with every thrust. It was too much, the kind of pleasure that bordered on pain, making you whimper and try to pull away only for him to grab you and hold you down every time you tried to escape.
“Babe, fuck!” you screamed, the sound raw and broken as wave after wave of overstimulation tore through you. He only smirked, watching the way your pussy clenched around his fingers, completely addicted to how wrecked you were beneath his touch.
You could feel it coming, the pressure building until it was unbearable. You tried to pull back, but he only pushed harder, slipping his fingers out and attacking your clit with rough, relentless circles. The only thing that tore out of you was his name, moaned over and over.
“Yes, baby. Cum for me. Cum,” he whispered, voice low and commanding.
The storm outside roared as you finally broke, screaming when a rush of wet heat burst from your body. It poured out of you, messy and uncontrollable, while he kept rubbing your clit and teasing your nipples, forcing every last drop from you.
You squirted so much it left you shaking, body drained and trembling, lungs struggling for air. He slowed only then, covering your damp skin with soft kisses, worshipping the mess he had made of you.
“Fuck, baby… you’re so hot,” he breathed, covering your face and neck with lazy kisses.
You couldn’t even lift a finger anymore. Your body was spent, limp against his chest. All you could do was melt into him as he carefully cleaned you up, each gentle touch a sharp contrast to the way he had just ruined you.
It had been too much. Your body wrecked, your lungs burning, but you loved every second of it. You loved him for it. Because no one knew how to push you, break you, and please you the way he did.
The night had finally settled. The wild winds, thunder, and flashes of lightning had quieted, leaving only the soft patter of rain fading against the windows. Wrapped in your duvet, you slept soundly, your breaths deep and steady.
Beside you, Jungkook lay awake. Sleep never even crossed his mind; his attention was far too consumed with something else entirely.
The two of you had already showered together after your earlier rounds. Though, of course, even in the shower, he couldn’t keep his hands off you. And yet, somehow, it still wasn’t enough. No matter how many times he touched you, tasted you, had you, it only ever made him crave you more.
Tonight was no different. If anything, it was worse.
You lay beneath the thick comforter, the rise and fall of your breathing slow with sleep. But all Jungkook could think about was the satin white nightgown you had slipped into before bed, his favorite, the one that clung to you just right. The thought of you wearing it now, so close beside him, was enough to make him hard all over again.
Jungkook’s thumb hovered over the screen as the video of you he took played again, your moans echoing low in the dark room. His chest tightened each time you whimpered his name, every sound burrowing deep into him until his dick throbbed painfully against his palm.
“Jun–Jungkook… you–fuck!”
He bit down on his lower lip, groaning under his breath as he heard you curse. His hand had already slipped beneath the waistband of his sweats without him realizing, his palm wrapping around his dick, stroking slowly as his eyes stayed locked on you. But then, his gaze flicked sideways toward the real thing.
You were right there beside him, curled up under the duvet, breathing softly and evenly in sleep. The contrast made his head spin. There you were, peaceful and untouched, while on his phone, you were a trembling mess falling apart for him. He groaned at the thought, his hand tightening around his length.
The video ended, but he instantly replayed it, searching for that perfect moment. Again and again, he let it loop, each repeat making him burn hotter. And when even that wasn’t enough, he zoomed in on your face. Your eyes, your parted lips, the way you looked wrecked from just his fingers, and it only drove him closer to the edge.
He had already pulled his dick free, stroking it lazily while his phone glowed in the dark. On screen, you twitch beneath him, lips parted, moans spilling out. He couldn’t even remember when the habit started. When filming you during your most vulnerable moments became a necessity rather than a whim. All he knew was that he was grateful. Grateful you trusted him enough, grateful you never questioned the way his hands always reached for his phone, desperate to capture you.
Now, it was his addiction. His treasure.
It wasn’t enough to keep those files tucked away, untouched. No, he watched them daily, like a ritual, as if your pleasure was medicine keeping him alive. Tonight was no different. With a shaky breath, he swiped through his gallery. His private album glared back at him, a collection built carefully over time. Videos, photos, even the ones you shyly sent him when you missed him too much. He saved them all. He never missed a single one.
Every pixel, every sound, every look, you were his obsession, and he craved you more with each passing second.
His hands sped up the moment he stumbled across a video you’d sent him before. It was just a casual outfit check, nothing special, but the way that bodycon dress clung to your curves had him groaning before he even realized it. You looked impossibly hot, every line of your body showcased perfectly, and just standing there, showing off your outfit to the camera, you made him ache to fuck you raw.
This wasn’t new. Almost every day, if he had a moment alone, he’d stroke himself while watching you. He didn’t care that it was becoming an addiction because, in reality, he had already crossed the line. He wasn’t addicted to the videos. He was addicted to you.
As he neared his release, he pulled up his favorite video of you. Him fingering you from behind, and the screen caught the perfect angle of your face and pussy. Your moans and screams echoed through the room, your body twitching uncontrollably, and he couldn’t take his eyes off it.
He pumped faster, chasing the climax that had been building for him all night. The video of him fingering you, synced with the reality of his own hands, pushed him over the edge. When it finally happened, a hot rush of cum spilled from him, messy and unstoppable, while the video still played of your wet, desperate body climaxing.
In his insanity, he accidentally dropped his phone, the screen still capturing you in motion, while he groaned and shuddered, a fresh cum spilling across his abdomen. Even as his body shook from release, his eyes never left you, sleeping peacefully beside him as he rode out the last waves of his orgasm.
“Fuck…” he cursed, chest heaving, exhausted and spent from the intensity of it all.
He lay there, breathing hard, chest still rising and falling as he tried to calm down. The room was quiet. Too quiet except for the sound of his heartbeat in his ears and your steady breathing beside him. You were fast asleep, completely out of it, and that only made him more restless.
He stayed like that for a while, staring at the ceiling, waiting for sleep to come. But it didn’t. It was already past two in the morning, and his body was wired, wide awake.
So he turned his head, eyes landing on you. The way your chest rose and fell. The soft mess of your hair against the pillow. The little part in your lips as you breathed. And just like that, it hit him all over again. Why was he even here tonight, in your apartment, in your bed, with his thoughts spinning and his body still aching?
Yesterday was supposed to be your 2nd anniversary. Supposed to be. But instead of celebrating, you were stuck inside because of the storm and because of him. He knew it was his fault. No excuses this time.
He’d been wrapped up with his friends the day before, careless, not thinking about how important yesterday was supposed to be. He didn’t plan it out properly, or give you anything solid to look forward to. And when the storm hit, it only made everything worse.
The truth? He did have something planned. Just… not for the actual date. He’d secretly booked a trip to Thailand, a way to celebrate the anniversary in his own style. But it wasn’t until 10 days from now, and he hadn’t told you yet. He only made the reservation last week, while you were drowning in work, and he thought surprising you later would make it special.
But he knew that didn’t change a thing. It didn’t erase how thoughtless he’d been. It didn’t excuse the way he acted with you. And it sure as hell didn’t make up for the attitude he brought to your anniversary.
He turned his head and let his eyes settle on you, lost in the rhythm of your steady breathing. You had no idea what he’d done just hours ago. No idea how wrecked he’d left you before sleep pulled you under.
You looked so damn peaceful now. Like an angel. Soft. Innocent. Sweet. Nothing like the way you sounded when he had you begging earlier.
He shifted closer, slow and careful, until his face hovered inches from yours. The back of his fingers brushed gently against your cheek, tracing down your skin like he was memorizing you all over again.
He didn’t pull back. He couldn’t. He just kept watching you, caught up in every little detail. The rise and fall of your chest. The way your lashes rested against your skin. He even found himself counting them like some lovesick fool.
The blanket was pulled up to your shoulders, leaving just enough for him to follow with his touch. From your cheek, down the line of your jaw, and lower, until he was tracing the curve of your shoulder. He waited, half-expecting you to flinch, to stir, to pull away.
But you didn’t. You stayed perfectly still, lost in your dreams.
He moved closer, face just inches from yours, and carefully tucked a few loose strands of hair away. Your name slipped from his lips in a whisper. But nothing. You didn’t even twitch.
He chuckled low under his breath, pressing a finger against your nose just to see if you’d stir. Still nothing.
And then, almost without realizing it, he pulled the comforter down. His eyes widened the second he caught sight of your tits spilling free, heavy and perfect, resting there like they were begging for him.
His dick twitched instantly, pressing hard against the fabric of his sweats.
You were lying on your side in his favorite nightgown, the one that clung to your body in all the right ways. The thin straps had slipped off your shoulder, leaving your arms and chest completely exposed as you slept soundly beside him.
‘Fuck. She’s fucking hot.’
His hand hovered, then gave in, tracing down your arm, knuckles brushing soft skin, as he shoved the last of the comforter away from your body.
He froze the moment you shifted, a soft groan slipping from your lips as you rolled onto your side. His whole body went rigid like someone had dumped a bucket of ice over him, hand still hanging in the air where your skin had been just seconds ago.
He waited. One second. Two. Five.
Your breathing evened out again, steady and deep. Still asleep.
This time, your back was to him, the comforter pushed down, leaving your body on display. His jaw tightened because fuck, your nightgown barely covered you, satin riding up high enough that the curve of your ass was outlined perfectly in the dim light. That little slip of fabric was useless. He could see everything.
Without hesitation, he inched closer until his chest pressed against your back. His hand found your shoulder, resting there, before sliding down slowly. He buried his face in your hair, inhaling the faint, sweet scent of your shampoo, then dragged his nose along the curve of your neck.
“Goddamn…” he whispered against your skin, his cock straining as heat surged through him all over again.
You smelled so fucking sweet. So soft, so sexy that it made his head spin. The more he breathed you in, the more he lost himself in the thought of just taking you right now. Didn’t matter that you were unconscious. If anything, that only made his dick twitch harder. He wanted it. He wanted you like this, raw and helpless in his arms.
His lips were already betraying him, pressing slow, desperate pecks along your neck and down to your shoulder. His hand slid lower without him realizing, brushing across your stomach, feeling the warmth of your skin through the thin nightgown. Every inch of you was so fucking addicting.
His right arm locked tight around your torso, pulling you flush against him, while his other hand wandered to your thighs. He traced up, slow and teasing, until his fingers hovered right at your core.
“Fuck…” he breathed, his teeth dragging lightly over your skin.
You were so fucking soft. So easy to mold under his touch. And right then, all he wanted was to ruin you. To break you down piece by piece until you couldn’t help but give in to him.
You let out a soft moan, pressing your back into his touch without even realizing it. That tiny sound nearly made him lose his fucking mind. Just the way you breathed against him was enough to make him want to cum right there.
“Baby…” he whispered into your ear, voice low and needy, almost a whimper, as his hips rocked forward. He ground his hard dick against your back, letting the friction drive him deeper into the madness. His fingers slid lower, brushing over the thin fabric of your panties.
His hand roamed higher, cupping your tits and giving them a slow squeeze. He rolled your nipples between his fingers, teasing them, rubbing until they hardened under his touch. You didn’t stir. You didn’t resist. And that only turned him on more.
The thought of being buried inside you while you were still asleep sent a rush through his veins that was almost unbearable. He wanted to ruin you like this, claim every inch of you without you even realizing. He even thought about reaching for his phone, filming every second like he had before. But he couldn’t bring himself to pull away, not even for that. He was already too far gone, too obsessed with every little thing he was doing to you.
“I love you so much… I love you, Y/N.” The words spilled out of him in a broken whisper, over and over, like a prayer he couldn’t stop chanting. He was so fucking gone for you. Down bad in every way.
He slid the strap of your nightgown off your shoulder, lowering his head to press slow kisses on your bare skin. His lips trailed down while his hands kept exploring every inch of your body, mapping you like he didn’t already know you by heart. All the while, his hips kept grinding into you, his dick straining hard against your back.
When his fingers drifted lower, he froze. You were wet. Even in your sleep, your body was reacting to him, and that was all it took to push him past the edge. He pulled his dick out, thick and throbbing, and slid it between your thighs. The soft fabric of your panties pressed against him as he started fucking the space between them, grinding through the heat of your core.
His hand gripped your ass, guiding you against him, making sure he felt every bit of you as he thrust. The pace picked up fast, each movement sharper, hungrier. You bounced with the force of his rhythm, his dick gliding perfectly between your thighs while he groaned your name like he couldn’t get enough.
His dick slid between your thighs again, and the second he felt that wetness seeping through your panties, he nearly lost it. The friction was fucking perfect, your soft heat wrapped around him even if he wasn’t inside you.
He pressed his face into your neck, groaning low as his hips snapped forward again, grinding hard into that spot where your thighs squeezed him tight.
“Fuck, baby… you feel so good,” he whispered against your skin.
He started slow, dragging his dick back and forth between your thighs, letting the swollen head nudge your clit through the fabric of your panties. Each thrust cover more of your wetness along him, and he swore he could drown in it. His hand slid around your waist, pulling you back tighter against him, while the other guided your thigh higher so he could fuck you even deeper between them. The motion made your ass bounce against his hips, and he nearly came right there.
“Shit—fuck—” he hissed, biting down on your shoulder to muffle the sound. He was grinding faster now, rutting against you like a man possessed, but every time he got close, he forced himself to slow down, dragging it out because he wanted to lose himself in this. In you.
His lips trailed up to your ear, sucking on your lobe as his hips rolled, his dick still sliding between your thighs. This time, his fingers slipped under your panties, brushing against your folds before sliding inside. The moment he felt how wet you already were, something in him snapped. Sanity gone, replaced with raw need.
“A-aahh… J-jungkook…”
The sound left you in a soft, unconscious moan, and his chest hammered so hard it almost hurt. His whole body froze, eyes wide, breath shuddering.
Hearing your voice, hearing his name, tore the last bit of control from him. His forehead dropped to your shoulder, his dick twitching violently between your thighs as a broken sound ripped from his throat. It was too much. You were too much. That one moan sent him straight to heaven and back, and he didn’t know how the fuck he was supposed to survive you.
His hips grind against your folds, sliding through the slickness he’s already pulled out of you. Every thrust makes him groan because you’re wetter with each pass, and the fact that your body answers him even in sleep is driving him insane.
“I love you… I love you so much, baby,” he whispers, words breaking apart into whimpers as his mouth clings to your neck. He sucks hard enough to leave marks. He doesn’t even care if you wake. In fact, fuck. He wants you to. He wants you to open your eyes and see exactly how far gone he is for you.
His lips trail across your shoulder, tasting your skin, biting down softly before catching your earlobe between his teeth. He drags you closer, clutching you like you might slip away at any second. His thrusts grow messier, needier, his free hand roaming greedily. He palms your breast, pinching your nipple, then strokes lower, sliding down your belly, brushing over your thighs. He squeezes, caresses, and then drags his hand up again in slow strokes.
God, you feel too good. So fucking perfect it makes him dizzy. Every curve, every sound, every unconscious shift of your body feeds the obsession clawing at his chest. You’re his addiction, and it’s driving him out of his mind.
“Uhh—nghh…”
The sound slips from you, soft and needy.
It tears a whimper out of him. Fuck. Hearing you respond, even half-asleep, snaps something in him. He grinds harder, faster, his hips rutting against you as if he could bury himself through sheer will. He doesn’t even notice when your panties slip lower, baring you. He only realizes when the thick head of his cock drags through your soaked folds.
He bites down on his lip, wrapping you tighter in his arms like he’s afraid you’ll vanish, and angles himself without thinking. He hadn’t meant to. Not yet, not like this, but he’s too far gone. Too high on the way you feel. With one desperate push, he sinks inside, gasping at the hot, wet pull of you around him.
“Fuck, Y/N…” he groans, forehead pressed to your shoulder as his body shudders. You’re so wet. So ready that you take him in too easily. His dick throbs, aching as your hips shift, your ass pressing back against him instinctively. When he finally dares to glance at your face, you’re frowning in your sleep, breaths coming heavy and uneven.
That was it. The last thread of control in him snapped, and Jungkook started thrusting into you slowly at first, then harder, chasing the heat that swallowed him whole. Each push made him groan, low and broken, like he couldn’t believe how good you felt wrapped around him.
“Uhh—Jungkook…”
Your voice. Soft. Groggy. His eyes shot to your face instantly, heart slamming against his ribs. Your lashes fluttered, lids threatening to lift, and for a split second, panic stabbed through him. But instead of stopping, the panic only twisted into something darker and hotter. Excitement ran through his veins. You were waking up. You’d feel him. You’d know.
His fingers laced through yours, pressing your hands into the sheets. He held them tight, almost desperately, watching every twitch of your face as his hips moved against you. You didn’t pull away. You didn’t push him off. Instead, your body answered, clenching around his dick.
“Fuck—yes, baby, just like that…” he choked, rutting deeper, losing himself in the way your cunt gripped him.
Then, without opening your eyes, you tugged his hand closer and pressed a lazy kiss to his knuckles. His breath caught. You were awake enough to kiss him, to let him keep fucking into you.
And it made him lose his mind.
“Y/N… baby…” His voice cracked into a groan as he buried his face in your neck, breathing you in like he was drowning. His hands hooked under your thighs, forcing them open, dragging them up around his waist so he could fuck deeper. And god, he did, slamming into you, every thrust harder and desperate.
Your body jolted with each push, your moans spilling out. He locked one of your wrists above your head, using the leverage to pound into you harder, while his other hand was busy circling your clit. Fast, ruthless, making you squirm under him.
“Fuck, that’s it—take it, baby, fuck—” His teeth clenched as your cunt squeezed him, dripping so much it made his dick slide in wet, filthy sounds that only drove him crazier.
You gripped him, holding on tight, your hips rolling back to meet his thrusts. The way you moaned. Broken and needy had him losing it completely.
His mouth crashed onto yours, tongue pushing deep, like he needed to own every single part of you. The kiss was sloppy, starved, wet like he hadn’t tasted you in years. He groaned into your mouth, fucking you raw, grinding his cock against the soft spot inside you while his fingers kept punishing your clit.
“Y/N…” he whimpered, thrusts slamming harder. “Baby, I love you so fucking much.” His mouth crushed against yours, a violent, messy kiss, his tongue fucking your mouth the same way his cock fucked you.
Your only answer was a broken cry of his name, your voice too wrecked to form words.
“Say it… Fuck, say you love me too,” he begged against your throat, biting down hard enough to leave marks.
“I love… you… ahhh, Jungkook!”
Hearing it snapped what little control he had left. He drove into you with force, his hips pounding like he was trying to ruin you, his hand working your clit. Your body writhed under him, moans spilling out louder, raw, overstimulated, as he pushed you past the edge again and again.
“Say my name again… please, baby,” his voice cracked, thin and desperate.
You obeyed, moaning his name over and over, each cry pulling him deeper. His pace turned brutal, every thrust sharp, his fingers grinding your clit until your body shook under him.
His abs tightened, his grip on your hand as he lost control. “Fuck—baby, I’m cumming, I’m fucking cumming—Y/N!” he shouted, chanting your name like it was the only thing keeping him alive.
He clung to you like he’d fall apart without you, hips slamming hard enough that the sound of your bodies colliding filled the room. His arms hooked under your thighs, spreading you wide open as he drove in deeper, desperate not to let go.
You felt it. The rush of his cum spilling inside you. Warm and heavy as his body trembled. He groaned into your mouth, kissing you messily, swallowing your moans as he fucked every drop deeper, refusing to let a single drop escape.
Even after he was spent, he didn’t pull out. His tongue tangled with yours, biting at your lips, sucking your tongue like he still couldn’t get enough. Slowly, his thrusts softened, his roughness easing into something tender as his hands smoothed over your skin.
Your hips rolled against him until his cock slipped out, and his hand was already there, rubbing your clit, dragging your slick all over before sliding two fingers deep inside you. His tongue tangled with yours, kissing you like he needed your breath to live, while his fingers fucked up into you hard and fast.
“Fuck, Jungkook!” you cried, your thighs trembling as his free hand latched onto your breast, twisting your nipple before sucking it into his mouth.
He pulled his fingers out just to slap your clit, then rubbed it furiously, and your body snapped. A scream ripped from your throat as hot streams burst out of you, soaking his hand, his abs, even the sheets beneath. The sound of it hitting the bed was filthy, obscene, and Jungkook moaned against your shoulder like he was addicted to it.
“Yes, baby, soak me. Fuck, you’re so messy for me,” he growled, still rubbing your swollen clit until more liquid gushed out, dripping down your thighs, spilling onto the mattress.
By the time the last wave hit, you were shaking violently in his arms, your pussy still twitching around nothing. His drenched fingers rested over your swollen folds, smearing your cum over your skin while he kissed your neck, your jaw, your shoulders.
“I love you, Y/N. I’m so fucking in love with you,” he whispered over and over, voice shaky, lips pressed against every inch of your skin.
His chest was still heaving, skin damp with sweat, but his lips softened the second he looked down at you. The marks he left all over your body. To your shoulder, the swell of your breast, the curve of your neck, he kissed them one by one.
“I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered between kisses. “I’m sorry for yesterday. For not planning shit. For making you feel like I didn’t care. You deserve so much more than me showing up empty-handed on our anniversary.”
And yet, god, he was selfish. Because even after wrecking you, all he wanted was to keep you in his arms, to hold you tighter until you forgave him. He pressed his face into your neck, breathing you in. He was obsessed, and he knew it.
Then, true to who he was, Jungkook broke the heavy silence with a crooked grin. “Though, to be fair… angry anniversary sex is still anniversary sex, right?”
You smacked his chest weakly, rolling your eyes, but the corners of your lips curved despite yourself. “You’re such an idiot.”
He laughed softly, holding you tighter. “Yeah, but I’m your idiot.”
You smacked his chest, and when he heard your small laugh, relief flooded through him. He brushed your hair off your damp forehead, thumb stroking your cheek, his expression vulnerable in a way you didn’t see often.
“Truth is,” he admitted quietly, “I was scared you’d think I wasn’t enough. That I keep fucking things up. So I overcompensate and try to wing it, but then I just… disappoint you more.” He paused, his voice dropping even lower. “I actually booked something for us. It’s a trip to Thailand. 10 days from now. I wanted to surprise you, but you’ve been so busy, and I thought maybe it wasn’t the right time to dump it on you. So I kept my mouth shut.”
You stared at him, stunned, as his thumb kept tracing your skin nervously like he was bracing for rejection. “You did that?”
He nodded, lips pressing together. “Yeah. Doesn’t excuse yesterday. I know I fucked up. But I just… I don’t ever want you to doubt how much I love you.”
When you pulled away, he was already moving, grabbing a warm towel from the bathroom. He cleaned you up carefully. He pressed the towel gently between your thighs and wiped your skin. He grabbed water, helped you drink, then slipped back under the covers with you, pulling you against his chest.
The two of you lie tangled together, his hand tracing slow circles on your back. The air smelled like rain and sweat and something warm you couldn’t name.
“Do you hate me a little less now?” he teased quietly.
You chuckled against his skin. “Maybe.”
“Maybe’s better than no,” he said.
For a long while, silence filled the room. But even in silence, his mind was loud. He pressed his face into your hair, voice muffled but firm.
“I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for every time I’ve let you down,” he whispered.
It was a truth he’d already decided on: he’d never let you slip away.
-
This has been rotting in my gdocs since idk when 😂 I was just digging for a work file and found it, and honestly, I’m like ‘wait, this isn’t bad at all, I should finish it’ LMAO
TUNNEL VISION TOUR [TOYKO] DAY 1: yeji babes you super pretty as fuck but you need you take it slowly tomorrow for your own sake. we want to see you all healthy and not in pain okay?
Summary: There are two boys but only one girl, leaving Jungkook hopelessly in love with someone he can never have, and doesn't want to have, because that would mean taking you away from the person he loves most. Then suddenly there’s only one boy and one girl, but it's the wrong one.
Pairing: Jungkook x Reader, Jungkook’s Twin x Reader, (Slight) Jungkook x Jennie
Warnings: DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT. I’M SERIOUS. major character death, intense grief, depression, suicidal ideation, vehicular accident, dead body, injuries, medical jargon, self-harm (not by definition — he gives himself a cut for appearances), hospital, nurses, doctors, fear, anxiety, panic attack, crying, funeral, mention of burial, planning funeral arrangements, mention of morgue, funeral home, casket, headstone, obituary, unrequited love, self-hatred, unhealthy coping mechanisms, drinking, bars, business jargon, mentions of wealth, jealousy, secrets, wedding, high school and college, exams, work, public speaking, insecurity, lying, manipulating, betrayal, violation, misogyny 😔, twins, trading places, tricking people, drunkenness, rudeness, depressive inner monologue, yearning, dub-con (I’m not sure if this counts — she consents to the acts but is unaware of his real identity), kissing, touching, titty fondling, cuddling, and that’s all!
Author's Note: guys I don’t know what demon possessed me when I wrote this but I worry I might be a sadist. this shit is SO sad and so dark. I really caution you to read all the warnings if there are topics which can easily trigger you. you might need therapy after this one, lord knows Jungkook needs some. and a lot of it!! he does not make good decisions in this fic and I don’t condone any of his actions. he’s the definition of morally ambiguous so hopefully you all vibe with that. also I know nothing about science or physics so if there are any inaccuracies, mind ya business lmao. I personally love this story despite it being so heavy, because it’s got so much heart, and I hope you all will too. ILY :)
-> The Wife Trap Masterpost
Jungkook and Jaehyun trade places often, which is coincidentally how Jungkook ends up meeting you for the first time.
Junior year of high school’s been a slog so far. Between his parents pressuring him to keep his grades up so he’ll be accepted to a nice university and assimilating with the teenage social scene, he’s mentally drained. It isn’t that he doesn’t want to further his education or hang out with his peers, but he’s got plenty of other interests besides those two.
He wants to draw and paint more, listen to new music, or even practice photography. None of which can happen if he’s stuck in his room studying all night.
Hence the main reason he and his identical twin brother sometimes pull switcheroos on their teachers and classmates.
This time around it’s because Jungkook has a chemistry exam tomorrow worth a quarter of his grade. While he personally excels at the liberal arts, STEM classes are a whole different story. Jaehyun, on the other hand, can’t recall historical facts to save his life, but doesn’t even flinch at balancing atoms.
Knowing this, Jungkook politely knocks on his brother’s door just before sundown. Jaehyun immediately grants him entry and after peeking his head inside, Jungkook finds Jaehyun sitting at his desk with a notebook and his laptop laid out before him.
“Hey,” Jaehyun greets him while setting his pen down.
“I need a favor,” Jungkook matter-of-factly declares as he flops onto his brother’s bed.
Jaehyun chuckles at his twin’s familiar antics before spinning around to face him.
“Like what?”
“Chemistry exam. Twenty-five percent of my grade. I’ll do your chores for a week.”
There’s no need for further explanation because the two boys understand each other without words. Jungkook probably could’ve just held up a chemistry book and waited for Jaehyun to give him a thumbs up or down to achieve the same result.
Jaehyun purses his lips and leans back in his desk chair to ponder the quid pro quo, but it’s pretty rare for either of them to deny one another. He’s more likely debating on whether or not it’s a fair deal.
“No need for chores. I have a better idea,” Jaehyun poses.
“Oh? Pray tell.”
Jaehyun chuckles and to Jungkook’s surprise, a blush appears on his brother’s cheeks.
“So, there’s this girl…”
“No shit!”
Jungkook shoots up from the bed with a boisterous, eager laugh while his twin throws his hands up to stop him from overreacting.
“Aish, it’s not like that.” Despite Jaehyun’s protests, Jungkook remains on his feet to await more details. “She’s just, like, the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen and we talk all the time because we’re lab partners, but I have no idea if she likes me back.”
“And?” Jungkook excitedly elongates the syllable. “What do you want me to do?”
“Well, if we swap places tomorrow, maybe you could give me an unbiased opinion. You know, see how she acts with you and report back whether or not you think she feels the same.”
Jungkook’s eyes light up at the notion of being an undercover wingman. Plus, he gets what he wants without having to do twice the housework for a week.
“Oh, you’re on.”
Jaehyun can’t resist affectionately rolling his eyes at his brother’s enthusiasm.
It only makes sense considering Jaehyun’s always chosen school over any sort of love life. To be fair, Jungkook hasn’t had much luck with the ladies himself, but at least he tries instead of keeping his nose in the books.
All Jungkook wants is for Jaehyun to find someone who’ll love him just as much as he does. Despite only being eleven minutes younger, Jungkook looks up to his twin more than anyone else in the world. He knows the sentiment is shared; that Jaehyun wholeheartedly admires all the traits Jungkook possesses which he himself does not. Nevertheless, Jungkook views Jaehyun as his better half and if he can lead someone else towards the same belief, he will.
“Just grab some clothes for me and lay them on the bed, will you? I’ll do the same once I’m done with this,” Jaehyun requests as Jungkook strolls out of the room.
“Got it!”
The following morning, Jungkook spends a couple extra minutes styling his hair away from his forehead to appear more like his twin. Jaehyun does the same, only the opposite, by applying some gel so his bangs fall down nicely at his browbone.
When the two meet outside their respective bedrooms, they both chuckle at the uncanny resemblance to the other’s signature style. Although Jungkook does tsk at his brother upon surveying his outfit.
“Nuh uh.” He faces Jaehyun to fix the collar of his leather jacket, popping it up how he normally wears it. “There we go.”
Jaehyun rolls his eyes.
“Well, if we’re being picky.” To return the favor, Jaehyun undoes the top two buttons of Jungkook’s polo so it looks more casual. “I may be a nerd, but I’m not that bad.”
“If you say so,” Jungkook teases, prompting Jaehyun to nudge his shoulder while the former giggles.
They head downstairs together and follow their usual routine of grabbing their book bags and wishing their folks farewell. Neither of their parents register the switch as the four of them circle each other in the kitchen before scurrying off in separate directions to leave for work and school.
Their mom, who works from home as an interior designer, catches Jaehyun’s attention at the last second with a call of his name.
“Jae, sweetie, you have an appointment this afternoon. Remember?”
Jaehyun peers around the corner with a doting grin.
“I know, mom. Thank you.”
The only issue is Jaehyun doesn’t look like himself, and when she notices his appearance, she blanches.
“What — huh?”
“Bye!”
Jungkook smacks his twin’s chest once he returns to his side; a hint of a laugh still on his lips.
“You doofus. You’re gonna give the poor woman a heart attack.”
“I forgot, I forgot,” Jaehyun defends himself.
Once they make it to Jaehyun’s car, which is the vehicle they’re driving this month because they always switch off for fairnesses sake, Jungkook hops in the driver’s side to maintain their ruse.
A Jeep is Jungkook’s choice of ride and the car he was gifted by his parents for their sixteenth birthday, whereas Jaehyun drives a Mercedes given to him for the same occasion. Even though Jungkook enjoys being high off the road when he drives, he certainly doesn’t mind cruising around in his twin’s sleek sports car every so often.
Their family is more than well-off, on behalf of their dad being the founder and CEO of a fortune five hundred company in the center of Seoul. Jungkook has no interest in joining the conglomerate after college, whereas Jaehyun’s already preparing to be their father’s successor.
Thankfully, their dad doesn’t mind that Jungkook wants something different for himself and neither of their parents ever push them towards a certain career path. As long as they both receive a good education and find jobs to keep themselves off the street, they’re satisfied.
“So, what’s your girl’s name?”
“She’s not my girl,” Jaehyun corrects him, although there’s a pink hue splattered all over his cheeks. “But her name’s Y/N.”
“Cute,” Jungkook notes with a smirk.
“You have no idea.”
Jaehyun’s right, per usual, because when Jungkook steps foot in the biology classroom later that day and spots a girl sitting precisely where his brother said she would be, his eyes blow wide and he clenches his jaw to prevent his mouth from dropping open.
You aren’t just cute. No, cute is how he would describe Jiwoo from second period or Yoona on the cheerleading squad. You’re goddamn ethereal.
Your hair is falling down your back in pretty waves, although the front pieces are tucked behind your ear. Your pink, plump lips are wrapped around the end of your pencil as you focus on whatever you’re reading. You’re wearing an oversized sweater and loose-fitting jeans which, despite seemingly being for comfort, make you look like a model straight out of a magazine.
Jungkook and Jaehyun have never shared the same taste in women. It’s just another topic they happen to fall on opposite sides of the spectrum about. So him finding you so attractive is completely unexpected. Yet here he is, paralyzed in the doorway like he’s never seen a woman before in his life.
He manages to snap out of the trance quickly, but not before a couple classmates shoot him confused glances from across the room. After maneuvering around the labyrinth of chairs and backpacks between him and Jaehyun’s desk, he slugs his bag off his shoulder and sits down beside you.
You don’t look up, which is to be expected when this is an ordinary occurrence for you. Plus, you’re busy scribbling in your notebook after finishing the page you were reading. Once you’re done, you place your pencil down and blow air out of your mouth before shaking your hair loose from behind your ear and flicking the short pieces aside.
“You must be Jungkook,” you nonchalantly profess.
Jungkook’s brow scrunches.
“Sorry?”
A smile graces your lips as you finally look in his direction.
“Jaehyun doesn’t have a scar on his cheek.”
When you gesture to the small mark on Jungkook’s left cheekbone, he lifts his own hand to trace the indentation. No one’s ever been able to distinguish them by that before, not even their parents. Even though Jungkook’s had the scar since first grade after he and Jaehyun fought over who got to use the computer first.
“There’s no way you noticed something so small that fast,” Jungkook accuses.
You shrug following a short, prideful giggle.
“Maybe I’m just a genius.”
Or you have a big fat crush on my brother.
“You must be Y/N, then.”
It’s your turn in the hot seat and you face Jungkook directly so you can interrogate him.
“And how do you know that?”
Jungkook mirrors how you shrugged your shoulders a moment ago.
“Because Jae told me his lab partner’s super smart and the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen. Obviously you’re smart if you clocked our scheme so fast and… well.”
He gestures to you with both hands, causing a bright pink blush to overtake your cheeks.
“He really said that?” You ask in a higher pitch with a massive smile on your face.
“Does that surprise you?”
“Not… exactly. It’s just that Jae’s so smart and sweet. Not to mention considerate, funny, stupidly handsome —”
“You think I’m handsome?”
“That’s not what I…”
Your voice trails off when you look over to find a shit-eating grin staring back.
“Gotcha,” he cheers while pointing to his head. “Same face.”
As you roll your eyes and chuckle, Jungkook swears his heart starts pounding faster inside his ribcage. He would do anything to make you do it again; hear you laugh at his jokes or pretend to be annoyed when he teases you.
“Anyway,” you redirect the conversation. “What’s with the switcheroo?”
“I have a chem exam today and Jaehyun got the brain cell in the divorce.”
You cackle so loud you have to cover your mouth with your hand to avoid getting in trouble with the teacher. Meanwhile, the pride Jungkook feels for prompting such a reaction almost makes him burst right out of his skin.
Despite your best efforts, the teacher shoots you both a warning glare before beginning his lecture. You and Jungkook attempt to quiet your laughter and focus, but there are still some residual giggles by the time your teacher starts.
After about twenty minutes, the teacher releases everyone to continue working on your current research project, but since your actual partner is somewhere across the school, you and Jungkook just chit chat until the end of class.
“So, considering how highly you spoke about my brother, I imagine you like him back?”
His words must pique your interest because you stop writing in your planner and glance up with cartoonishly wide eyes.
“Back?” You parrot. “As in…”
“Oh, yeah. Jae’s down bad.”
Your blush from earlier returns with a vengeance and you even cover your mouth with your sweater cuffs to hide the broad smile you’re sporting.
It gives Jungkook goddamn cuteness aggression and he has to refrain from kicking his feet underneath the desk.
This situation is uniquely strange for Jungkook. Because on one hand, there’s nothing more important to him than Jaehyun’s happiness, and you’re both clearly smitten. Yet in the opposing corner lies his heart that’s suddenly beating to a new rhythm; one that sounds suspiciously similar to the syllables of your name.
He can’t deny how badly he wants you for himself, but he would never make a move unless Jaehyun told him it was alright. If he can’t have you, he supposes the next best thing is for his brother to be the one who does.
“I had my suspicions, but I just… I didn’t wanna get my hopes up. You know?”
Your cheeks are still a dull pink and you have lovesick stars in your eyes as you talk about your crush.
“I get it,” Jungkook replies. “But you don’t have anything to worry about. You two are on the same page.”
“Is he planning on asking me out?”
“He better be. If he doesn’t, I will.” His sudden candor causes your eyes to widen again until Jungkook raises his hands in surrender. “I’m kidding.”
I’m not.
You sigh in relief upon hearing his rebuttal and Jungkook refuses to admit how much his heart shatters.
“Well, if he asks, you’re more than welcome to assure him I’ll say yes,” you state.
Jungkook genuinely smiles at that.
The thought of Jaehyun finding someone who makes him happy and will keep him laughing is enough to soothe any ache Jungkook may feel because of you.
“Duly noted.”
“So, Jungkook —”
“Kook,” he corrects you.
“Huh?”
The man in question chuckles.
“Everyone calls me Kook.”
You tilt your head like that’s a foreign concept before disagreeably clicking your tongue.
“That just won’t do. I don’t wanna call you what everyone else does. I should get a special nickname,” you explain.
“You don’t say?”
The two of you share another laugh while you tap your pencil against your notebook in thought.
“What about Kookie?”
“Kookie?” Jungkook shakes his head, but it’s mostly to hide the smile and accompanying blush creeping in. “What am I? Willy Wonka?”
“Oh, c’mon. It’s cute!”
It is cute, and therein lies the problem.
Nevertheless, Jungkook purses his lips as he ponders a fitting response.
“Fine, but I want one for you.” You shrug and show him your palms as though to yield the nicknaming power. “How about…” After aimlessly gazing around the room, Jungkook’s eyes soon land on a doodle in your planner of a sweet treat that feels just right. “What about Cupcake?”
“Cupcake?”
“Mmhm. Cupcake,” he repeats while motioning at you before doing the same for himself. “And Kookie.”
You giggle at his suggestion, but nod your head in agreement a moment later.
“You’ve got yourself a deal, Kookie.”
With a charming smile, Jungkook extends his hand towards you.
“Pleasure doing business with you, Cupcake.”
When you two melodramatically shake on it, Jungkook doesn’t think about the long term consequences. He has no idea how this single conversation will alter the course of his life forever.
Because Jaehyun does ask you out about a week later, forcing Jungkook to witness you two fall in love and remain utterly devoted to each other for years to come.
Including standing beside his parents when Jaehyun proposes at your college graduation. You’re a year younger than them, so his twin’s had time to save for a beautiful diamond ring using the paycheck he receives from their father’s company.
You obviously accept, but not before screaming your head off and nearly tackling your poor boyfriend, now fiancé, to the ground. Jaehyun catches you by the waist before you’re able to take him down and Jungkook doesn’t believe he’s ever seen his brother so happy as he spins you around a couple times before kissing you senseless.
“I love you,” Jaehyun whispers once your lips part while your foreheads remain pressed together.
Despite it being the thousandth time you’ve heard the proclamation, you still beam brighter than the sun.
“I love you, Jeon Jaehyun.”
“Enough to marry me, huh?”
An infectious giggle fills the air between your faces and makes Jungkook’s heart constrict where it lies dormant in his chest. He even instinctively looks away when you clamp Jaehyun’s head between your hands to emphasize your response.
“Enough to marry the shit out of you!”
It sucks because it’s not like Jungkook isn’t happy for you two. Quite the contrary. He couldn't be more ecstatic about his favorite people finding their dream come true. But he also can’t help the debilitating, insistent ache he feels inside.
He never meant to fall in love with you and for a while after you met he hoped his feelings would fade into oblivion. Months went by, then years, but rather than disappearing, his devotion to you only grew stronger until it became a part of his very soul. Something so innate he believes it must transcend this world and bleed into the next. His love for Jaehyun is the same; just as deep and even more integral to his being.
Which is why it doesn’t matter how much he adores you. You and Jaehyun are perfect for each other, and more importantly, you make one another irrevocably happy. Jungkook would sooner die before he took any part in destroying that.
He doesn’t want you for himself despite his feelings, but that doesn’t make reality any less painful.
His attention is yanked from the reverie by his brother’s joyous holler and he refocuses on the present just in time for Jaehyun to throw his arms around him.
“Fucking nailed it,” Jaehyun cheers while giving Jungkook an excited, brotherly pat on his shoulder.
“‘Course, you did.” Jungkook returns the affection by resting his chin on Jaehyun’s shoulder. “Congratulations, bro. I’m glad you didn’t choke.”
Jaehyun scoffs and steps back to reclaim your hand.
“I never choke,” he argues.
“Um, there was the time you were so nervous about asking me to prom you put the jumbo letters in the wrong order,” you counter. “But I had a wonderful time at ‘rpom’ with you, baby.”
Your fiancé rolls his eyes at the memory, but there’s a huge grin on his face when he bends down to kiss your cheek.
“Congratulations to you, too, Cupcake,” Jungkook interjects. “You scored yourself the second best looking, second funniest, and second most lovable man around.”
“Gosh, I wonder who could possibly be the first?”
Jungkook sarcastically shrugs with his hands up, but your sweet laugh shatters the act when you lean in to hug him with your free arm.
“Seriously, though, I couldn’t be happier for you.”
“Thanks, Kookie.” After unwrapping yourself from the embrace, you rest your weight on Jaehyun next to you and he naturally wraps his other arm around your waist. “So, should I start calling you big brother now or…”
The aggressive grimace that contorts Jungkook’s face causes both you and Jaehyun to relentlessly cackle.
“Fuck, no. Never. I beg you.”
Despite genuinely feeling like he might throw up at the thought of you ever referring to him as that, he joins in the laughter once his expression of disgust fades.
You and Jaehyun wait almost a full three years to wed so you’re both at least twenty five. Meaning it’s been just over a decade since you first started dating; longer than some marriages even last.
The years following your engagement have been easier for Jungkook to stomach compared to when you were all in school. You two live together now just a few blocks from Jungkook’s apartment and the three of you hang out fairly often.
One would think it would make the situation worse, but spending more time with you as a couple actually lessens the weight. It gives him a chance to witness the people he cares about most at their happiest, and even though he still yearns for you in ways he shouldn’t, seeing you smile or hearing you laugh is enough.
On the morning of your wedding, in which Jungkook has the honor of being the best man, things are a little hectic. Jaehyun’s an objectively intelligent, organized, and calm person, but whenever he’s nervous those traits fly right out the window.
Hence why Jungkook’s on his way to your bridal suite across the venue to ask you where Jaehyun’s cufflinks are. His twin swears he put them in the same bag as his suit, but they’re nowhere to be found. The men tried calling you first, but your phone must be tucked away on silent because it repeatedly went to voicemail.
Jungkook knocks first before creaking the door open and calling your name. He peeks his head in to ensure no one’s getting dressed and once he deems the coast clear, he steps inside and lets the door shut behind him.
You stroll out from a separate room soon after his arrival, but before Jungkook has a chance to talk, you shriek and jump behind a floor length mirror.
“What the fuck, Jae! You can’t see me before the ceremony!”
“Relax, it’s just me! It’s Jungkook!”
After a long pause, you peer out from around the furniture to confirm his identity. When you find he isn’t wearing what your groom should be, you sigh in relief and step further into the room.
“Jesus, Kookie, don’t scare me like that,” you scold him. “You trying to give me a heart attack on my wedding day?”
Jungkook doesn’t respond right away, or more like he can’t. Seeing you in your wedding dress with your hair beautifully styled and makeup done to highlight all your best features stuns him into complete silence. He didn’t even realize it was possible for you to look any more gorgeous than you normally do, but by god, have you proven him wrong.
You notice his lack of communication rather quickly and give him a once over to discern the possible reason. Unfortunately for Jungkook, it’s glaringly obvious why he’s standing as still as a statue with his mouth half open.
“What? Cat got your tongue?”
You’re being playful, but Jungkook’s far too awestruck to volley your banter.
“No,” he whispers. “Just the most beautiful bride I’ve ever seen.”
The compliment brings a warm smile to your face, but you still shake your head in disagreement while strutting across the room to him.
“You’re only saying that because you haven’t met yours yet.”
He wants to argue, but he can’t explain why that isn’t true without revealing his deepest, darkest secret.
You force him back to reality when your fingers graze his lapel, causing him to shoot you an inquisitive look.
“Your bowtie’s crooked,” you answer his silent question as you adjust the fabric.
“Thanks, Cupcake.”
There’s an earth-shatteringly gorgeous smile on your lips that gives Jungkook actual heart palpitations, especially with you standing so close. He even holds his breath so you don’t hear how wildly the muscle is thumping.
“What are you doing here, anyway?”
Once you finally step back, Jungkook inhales for what feels like the first time in minutes.
“Jae can’t find his cufflinks.”
You affectionately roll your eyes.
“Of course, he can’t,” you chuckle. “That man would be lost without me.”
“Yes, he would,” Jungkook agrees. “He knows it, too.”
“He better.” The two of you share a laugh before you leave his side to find your phone where you have a list of today’s necessities and their respective locations. “The inner breast pocket of his suit coat,” you read out loud from your notes.
“Seriously? I could’ve sworn we checked there.”
“And I know you both well enough to know you definitely didn’t.”
It’s Jungkook’s turn for an eye roll as he grabs the doorknob.
“Well, thank you. I promise I’ll have him in tip-top shape in time for the ceremony,” he assures you.
“Wait,” you request before scurrying back over. Upon reaching him again, you throw your arms around his neck and rise to your tiptoes for a heartfelt embrace. Jungkook’s brain momentarily short circuits despite this being a regular occurrence, but he eventually recovers and returns the affection by enveloping your waist. “I love you so much, Kookie. I can’t wait to finally be family.”
It takes all his willpower to hold back the tears encroaching on his waterline. They’re predominantly on behalf of his deep platonic love for you as opposed to his unrequited feelings. No matter what his heart wants, you’re one of his best friends and someone he can’t imagine living without. It isn’t just because of your connection to him through Jaehyun, either, but the bond you two have built over the last decade.
“I love you, too, Cupcake. Always and forever.” Ironically, once you part, you’re the one with watery eyes that you have to carefully dry. “Hey, hey, no tears. You’ll ruin your makeup.”
“I know,” you sniffle. “I’m just really happy.”
Jungkook smiles.
“Me, too.”
He returns to the groom’s suite after wishing you farewell and of course, you’re spot on. Jaehyun’s lost cufflinks were on his body the entire time, causing Jungkook to lovingly tease his brother as he finishes the final touches to his ensemble.
The two of them are currently standing side by side in front of the mirror and Jaehyun’s spent the last five minutes fiddling with pieces of his suit that are already perfect. Jungkook chuckles at the familiar behavior before clasping him on the shoulder.
“Jae, I don’t understand why you’re nervous when you’re marrying the love of your life.”
Jaehyun shakes his head while slowly releasing the air from his lungs.
“I just want today to be perfect. She deserves nothing less than that.”
Jungkook clicks his tongue.
“But Y/N’s gonna think it’s perfect simply because she’s marrying you. Don’t you know that?”
His assurance causes Jaehyun to smile and sigh in relief.
“You’re right,” he concedes. “I guess the problem is being a boyfriend and fiancé is one thing, but being a husband is another entirely.” He glances down to tug on his sleeve. “I have to take care of her, you know? I never wanna let her down or leave her wanting for anything.”
Only someone as magnanimous as Jaehyun, who’s never disappointed you even once in a whole decade, would worry like this moments before walking down the aisle.
“She loves you. You love her. You two have a long life together ahead of you. Both of you are bound to get upset or wish things were different every once in a while, but none of that matters as long as the love is still there,” Jungkook asserts.
Jaehyun’s smile returns prior to him glancing up to meet Jungkook’s gaze through the mirror.
“I thought I was supposed to be the wise one?”
Jungkook shrugs along with a lighthearted chuckle.
“Someone’s gotta pick up the slack whenever your usual characteristics go on leave.”
The twins share another laugh, but then Jaehyun clears his throat and turns to face his brother.
“You make a good point, about picking up my slack,” Jaehyun notes. “Will you promise me something?”
“Yeah, always.”
Jaehyun’s teeth sink into his bottom lip.
“Promise to look after Y/N for me. If, I don’t know, for whatever reason I’m not able to anymore.”
“Jae —”
“Just promise me, Kook.”
Jungkook knows how much this means to his brother, even if he can’t ever envision a world where you two aren’t together.
“Of course, I will,” he responds assuredly. “I promise.”
It’s obvious a weight lifts off Jaehyun’s shoulders and he immediately pulls Jungkook in for a hug to convey his gratitude. After stepping back, the groom appears much more at ease and even claps his hands together while turning towards the door.
“Okay! You got the rings?”
“Yup.”
“Time to get hitched, then.”
Contrary to moments ago, the pair exit the room lighthearted and laughing as they make their way to the main hall.
The ceremony is beautiful. Perfect, even, just as Jaehyun hoped. From the moment the doors open to reveal you and your dad, to Jaehyun blubbering like a baby throughout your entire walk down the aisle, to the heartfelt, sentimental vows you and him share, up until your groom dramatically dips you across his body for your first kiss as husband and wife.
There isn’t a dry in the room and Jungkook’s heart nearly explodes with love for you both. Seeing you two so joyful and knowing you’ll always have each other is all he needs to die without a single regret.
Cocktail hour, plenty of photos, and a grand entrance into the reception follow soon after and in the middle of all the guests enjoying their meal, the DJ hands Jungkook a microphone for his best man speech.
He’s rewritten the damn thing at least a hundred times, including a version that went something like, “Fuck it. I’m in love with the bride. I don’t know what to do about it. Have a good evening.”
The final product doesn’t contain any of those words except the last four, but even without a confession, he’s unbearably nervous.
“Good evening, everyone,” he announces from his place at the end of the head table. “If it wasn’t obvious already, I’m Jaehyun’s identical twin brother, Jungkook. Being a twin has its pros and cons, as does everything, but no other twin has the perks that I do by having Jaehyun as a brother. Jae is the most kind, considerate, loving, and genuine person I’ve ever met. He’s the best brother in the world and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that he’ll be the best husband, too. We’ve done everything together up until now, so marriage is the first adventure he’s going on without me. But I know I have nothing to worry about because the person he’s venturing into it with is the best of the best. Ironically, I first met Y/N while pretending to be Jaehyun. I’ve never told her this before, but while Jae’s end of the deal was to take a test for me, I was running reconnaissance on her. Jae had a big, fat crush on Y/N, but he didn’t know if his feelings were reciprocated, so he asked me to go undercover and report back. Our carefully laid plan was immediately thwarted, though, because Y/N clocked that I wasn’t Jae only seconds after I sat down. I knew then that she was going to be around for a long time, and more importantly, that my brother’s heart would always be safe in her hands.” Jungkook takes a deep breath before his final paragraph. “I adore you guys more than I’ll ever be able to properly explain and I couldn’t be happier that you two will have each other for a lifetime to come. I wish you nothing but everlasting love, health, and good fortune. And I love you both so very much.”
Once he concludes his speech, everyone loudly applauds for a job well done, but Jungkook’s focus is solely on your and Jaehyun’s reactions. Except when his eyes land on the center of the long table, only you’re sitting there.
An explanation arrives soon enough when his twin forces him into a bone-crushing embrace. Jungkook laughs while happily returning the affection as tightly as he can.
“Do you have any fucking idea how much I love you?” Jaehyun asks through a sniffle.
“Of course, I do,” Jungkook sighs. “About half as much as I love you.”
When the two break apart, the sound of heels rapidly clicking along the floor steals their attention. Before they can process what’s happening, you barrel right into them with a gleeful cheer.
“I didn’t wanna feel left out,” you explain where your head rests between their own. Both men chuckle at your antics prior to you stepping back to face them. “That was perfect, Kookie. Thank you.”
Jungkook bashfully shrugs.
“It was nothing, Cupcake. Just another Tuesday for me, public speaker extraordinaire.”
“Aish, can you believe he’s drunk already? He thinks it’s Tuesday!” Jaehyun turns towards you to joke.
You giggle and glance at your husband with the entire galaxy in your eyes. As always, Jaehyun’s sporting a matching expression and it’s only once Jungkook clears his throat that you two snap out of the daze and join him in returning to the head table.
Jungkook passes the microphone to his brother, who’s set to deliver the next speech. It isn’t necessarily common for the groom to talk at the reception, but his father did so in order to honor their mother at their wedding and he urged Jaehyun to do the same.
“Hello,” Jaehyun cheers from where he’s standing next to your chair. “I’d like to take this time to thank everyone for being here to celebrate our marriage with us. Y/N and I are overjoyed to be surrounded by you all on our special day and we’re frankly overwhelmed by the vast amount of love we’ve received.” Like it’s second nature, he reaches for you and you automatically lace your fingers together. “I also want to spend a moment talking about my beautiful wife sitting here beside me.” Even though he’s technically giving a speech to the whole room, he pivots so he’s staring directly into your eyes. “Y/N, I’ve been hopelessly in love with you since the day we met when I was only sixteen years old. And to this day I still can’t believe you feel the same. You’re radiant, spellbinding, and magnificent, and I’m nothing but a humble admirer. But what’s truly wonderful about you as a partner is that you don’t view me in that light. You see right through me; all my faults and failures, but also my strengths and virtues. And you love me regardless of all of them. So I consider myself the luckiest man alive because I’ll never deserve someone as warm, caring, and compassionate as you are. It’s been ten years since we became a couple and I’ve yet to even come close. But I promise to keep trying, baby, because that’s what you deserve. I’ve loved you for an entire decade and I’ll continue to do so for a thousand more, even though I know the universe isn’t gracious enough to give us that much time together. But with the time we do have, I plan to cherish and worship you every single second of every single day. Thank you for choosing me ten years ago and even more importantly, for choosing me today. I love you so much, my bride.”
You and Jaehyun haven’t broken eye contact once throughout his whole speech, but yours are shimmering and flooded with tears which are slowly cascading down your pink cheeks.
“J — Jae,” you cry, at a complete loss for words.
Jaehyun doesn’t verbally respond. He just lifts your intertwined hands up to his lips for a kiss before resting them against his cheek.
Following his lead, you forgo trying to produce sound and tug him into his seat by the hand before grabbing his face so you can kiss the daylights out of him. He squeaks and giggles at the abrupt movements, but it soon becomes a content hum as you ardently slot your mouths together as if you’re the only ones in the room.
Your foreheads remain together even once you part as a pair of gleaming smiles appear.
“I didn’t prepare anything to say back,” you complain as your voice cracks.
Jaehyun shakes his head.
“You don’t need to.”
“I love you so fucking much.”
He chuckles and steals another quick smooch.
Everyone else’s been clapping since the moment Jaehyun stopped talking, but you two stay in your own little world until he kisses the tip of your nose and pulls back.
Jungkook’s always known Jaehyun to have a way with words, and he’s spoken about his unconditional love for you at least a million times over the years, but even he’s taken aback by his twin’s profound candor.
It’s a blaring reminder why Jaehyun’s the one sitting beside you today. His brother’s an amazing person, and only someone as noble as him should have the honor of calling himself your husband.
The remainder of the evening all goes according to plan and everyone seems to be having a great time. Even Jungkook, because despite his heart slowly withering and dying in his chest, he always enjoys spending time and goofing around with you and Jaehyun.
A couple hours into the reception, he feels a tug on his arm while he’s standing at the bar and upon turning around, he finds you eagerly pulling him towards the dance floor.
“C’mon. You owe me a dance, big brother.”
“Yuck,” Jungkook overdramatically shouts, but he still allows you to lead him away.
An early 2000s ballad is playing that Jungkook faintly recognizes as you place one hand on his shoulder and he steals your other so you can sway chest to chest to the beat of the music. Neither of you speak for about a minute or so, but the silence isn’t uncomfortable or awkward. Nothing ever is with you two.
“Is tonight everything you were hoping for?” Jungkook asks you.
When you glance up to meet his eyes, your effervescent smile reveals the answer before you verbalize it.
“It’s a dream come true,” you proclaim. “I’ve never been happier in my whole life.”
Jungkook can’t resist mirroring your grin.
“I’m really glad, Cupcake.”
“I mean, it was basically impossible for today to be anything but the best day ever.” Before you continue, Jungkook drops his hand from the small of your back so he can twirl you around. “I’m surrounded by all my favorite people in the world. I can’t ask for anything more than that.”
“Let’s see… your mom, dad, Jae, best friend, cousin —”
“You.”
Your interruption isn’t necessarily surprising, but it still mentally stops Jungkook in his tracks, and he has to fight to hide all the emotions swimming in his irises.
“I don’t know if I’m worthy of such an honor.”
“Of course, you are,” you argue. “You’ve never been just Jae’s brother to me. You know that, don’t you?” Jungkook softly nods. “You’re… my Kookie.”
The idea of being your anything lights Jungkook’s heart on fire.
“Now that is my greatest honor,” Jungkook sincerely declares.
You two exchange matching smiles at the same time the first song ends and fades into the next.
“Sweetheart, I’m over here!” Jaehyun calls from across the room, causing you and Jungkook to turn in his direction. Your groom’s sporting a playful grin while posing with his hands on his hips. “Did you get us mixed up again?”
Without missing a beat, you theatrically gasp and clap your hand over your mouth before looking between him and Jungkook.
“Dammit, not again!” You stomp your foot like a child and cross your arms over your chest. “You would think after a decade I’d be better at this.”
Jaehyun clicks his tongue a couple times along with a disappointed head shake.
“What am I gonna do with you, huh?”
His gag comes to an end when he simply can’t resist sending you an affectionate smile that turns his eyes into crescents and paints his ears red.
You look at Jungkook to ask if it’s alright to conclude your dance so soon, but he’s already nodding towards his brother to give you permission.
“You sure?”
“‘Course. Go celebrate with your husband,” he tells you.
“Well, thank you for the dance.” As you’re strolling away, you turn around to continue speaking. “You know, most of my bridesmaids are single.” Jungkook’s eyes almost roll out of his skull. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”
“Yeah, yeah. We’ll see.”
He watches you collide with Jaehyun, who immediately grabs your waist to lift you a few inches off the ground while you both squeal in excitement.
In truth, Jungkook could use a good fuck right about now. He’s sure one of the single women here tonight would be more than willing to go home with him or at the very least sneak off to the bathroom, but he just can’t bring himself to try.
Back in college, after accepting his feelings for you were here to stay, he threw himself into the bed of any woman who would pull the sheets back for him. He used sex as an outlet for all his pent up emotions.
It didn’t work. Even when he was balls deep in someone else, all he could think about and picture was you. To his benefit, he still tried time and time again. His body count reached triple digits before he finally came to the conclusion he needs healthier coping skills.
He still uses sex to let off steam every now and then, but it isn’t always because of you anymore. Life just gets stressful sometimes and they don’t call it a release for no reason.
Jungkook’s smarter about his hook ups these days. Rather than fucking to forget you, he hits it from the back while shoving the woman’s face into his pillows so he can pretend she is you. He knows it isn’t right, and that he should probably see a damn therapist, but it helps.
Ironically, and maybe disturbingly, thinking about you and Jaehyun having sex eases his mind a little. Because what you and his twin look like in the bedroom is exactly what he and you would look like, down to the last DNA molecule.
It might seem contradictory to others, but his heart’s a convoluted, fucked up labyrinth.
The last time he sees you and Jaehyun that evening is right before last call. You two are sitting at the head table with your knees touching as you giggle over a shared slice of cake.
Jaehyun spots Jungkook from across the room, where he’s strolling away from the uncle he’s been reminiscing with for the last twenty minutes or so.
“Kook!” He calls with a wave.
Jungkook quickly changes directions to greet you both and upon reaching the table, he pulls a chair out to sit opposite you.
“What’s up, Mr. and Mrs?”
“Night’s almost over. Wanted to make sure you had fun,” Jaehyun states before taking another bite.
“You kidding?” Jungkook scoffs. “I got to watch my twin brother marry the greatest girl in the world. It was the best day ever.”
Sentiments aren’t usually Jungkook’s forte. Even his speech earlier was tough to utter out loud. Him and Jaehyun never vocalize their love for each other because they don’t need words to communicate. So, although it couldn’t be more true, it tastes foreign rolling off his tongue.
“Okay, but besides that,” you interject. “Did you like the cake?”
You point to the dessert with your fork while playfully raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah, it was great. Why?”
“Becaus I made it,” you proudly chirp.
Jungkook gawks.
“You made your own wedding cake? Isn’t that against the rules or something?”
When his comment makes you laugh, Jungkook does his best to ignore the butterflies fluttering in his stomach.
“Well, I’m the best baker I know! Plus it gave me something to focus on besides my nerves right before the wedding.”
If there’s one thing Jungkook knows, it’s that you’re absolutely the best baker. You have been since he met you a decade ago, hence where the inspiring sketch for his nickname for you comes from. Every recipe you create features a little doodle of that particular treat.
You have a business degree, just like him and Jaehyun, so one day you can achieve your lifelong dream of owning a bakery. For now, you work from your household kitchen and accept orders from friends, family, or people who find you through social media. Since Jaehyun’s now the youngest executive at their father’s company, his salary’s more than enough to cover all the expenses until you’re ready.
One of Jungkook’s favorite things about visiting your house is the sweet treats always lying around. Not to mention you often use him and Jaehyun as taste testers.
“Well, shit. No wonder it was so fucking delicious,” Jungkook declares.
Jaehyun takes that as a cue to pass him an extra slice and Jungkook gladly accepts, eliciting a proud snicker from you.
Before digging in, Jungkook scoops up a sizable piece and lifts his fork.
“To the Jeons?”
You and Jaehyun both flash blinding smiles in his direction before raising your own forks in the air.
“Jeon Jaehyun, Jeon Jungkook, and Jeon Y/N,” Jaehyun recites. “I sure like the sound of that.”
“Me, too,” you agree while gazing at your husband like he hung the stars in the sky.
The three of you clink your utensils together and eat in perfect sync, prompting a unanimous moan of delight over the taste.
“Fuck, that’s so good,” Jaehyun mumbles with a mouthful of cake.
Jungkook concurs by aggressively nodding his head along with the signature expression you call his “good food face.”
The familiar sight almost makes you choke when you start laughing prior to finishing the bite. You tell him all the time there’s just something about his forehead scrunching up and his eyebrows pinching together like he’s furious that tickles your funny bone. Especially considering it’s the exact opposite emotion of how he’s actually feeling.
“You’re lucky, Jae. You get to eat the best desserts in Seoul free of charge for the rest of your life,” Jungkook tells his brother.
You snort.
“Oh, and I’ll make you pay for them?”
“You never know!” Jungkook has to dodge when you gingerly chuck a napkin at him. “Listen, when you own some big shot bakery in the city you won’t have time to bake for small fry like me.”
“Kookie, I literally bake an extra half dozen of everything I make to account for how many you’ll steal,” you retort.
He smiles so big his eyes disappear, making it impossible to continue arguing his point because his heart’s doing backflips and somersaults. The thought of you doing something specifically for him is enough to heal almost all the scars of his unrequited love.
Almost.
Because five years later as he’s sneaking into a large banquet hall so no one realizes he’s ten minutes late, his heart still skips a beat when he spots you standing alone near the back.
As always, you look utterly showstopping in a shimmery, navy gown with your hair styled up in an elegant ponytail.
You don’t notice him at first because you’re focused on the introduction of your beloved husband for his big speech tonight. Jungkook uses the opportunity to admire you for a moment without any interruptions. You’re not doing anything special or particularly interesting, but your radiant smile and sparkling eyes alone are a better sight than he could ever pay for.
In the midst of his shameless gawking, you turn your head and discover him by the door. Your face lights up with a wide, toothy grin while you enthusiastically wave him over.
Jungkook can’t help but mirror the expression as he swiftly traverses the room to reach you near the long tables of refreshments.
“Hey, Cupcake,” he whispers before paying attention to the stage just in time for Jaehyun to step out from behind the wings.
Your friendly smile totally shifts when Jaehyun appears; becoming what can only be described as the glow of someone still profoundly in love even after fifteen years together.
“Hi, Kookie.”
Despite returning his greeting, you don’t look away from where Jaehyun’s shaking hands with the event organizer and getting comfortable behind the podium.
His brother then clears his throat and flashes the crowd a cordial, humble grin.
“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,” he begins. “This is a very new experience for me, so I ask that you hold any hysterical laughter at my expense until the end of the speech.”
A harmonious chuckle rolls through the room and it’s clear the audience is already charmed by Jaehyun.
Jungkook can’t blame them. Ever since his twin took over as CEO following their dad’s retirement four years ago, he’s naturally come into his own and become a shining star of the corporate world. He couldn’t be prouder of Jaehyun and that’s the sole reason he’s attending an event like this.
It’s a fundraiser for a new non-profit organization Jeon Industries is partnering with and even though Jaehyun repeatedly claimed he didn’t need to come to hear his speech, Jungkook wouldn’t miss one of his brother’s achievements for the world, no matter how insignificant.
“Jae was so nervous beforehand he almost walked out of the house with two left shoes,” you lean over to inform Jungkook.
The familiar behavior of his twin whenever he’s nervous produces a knowing, affectionate smile.
“Of course, he did.”
You finally glance over after his reply and even warmly squeeze his bicep.
“Thank you for coming.” Jaehyun’s speech falls to the back of his mind once it ventures into administrative mumbo-jumbo. “He loves to downplay his accomplishments and the more loved ones I shove in his face, the less he’s able to get away with it.”
Jungkook chuckles.
“Anytime.”
After reaching behind him to snag a dessert from the table, he casually pops the pastry into his mouth. Except it ends up tasting so damn delicious he almost moans out loud.
He settles on just a quiet grunt while rolling his eyes and pointing at his mouth so you understand what’s causing such a response. But once he swallows, he faces you to demand an explanation.
“Holy shit. Where did the company get these?”
One corner of your mouth twitches upwards.
“Where do you think?”
Jungkook’s lips instantly form a shocked O as his eyes flicker between you and all the baked goods.
“No!” You respond with a proud, avid nod. “Oh, Cupcake. That’s amazing!”
“The one you tried is my newest recipe.”
“Wait, there’s no way you baked all these in your kitchen. Did you?”
The table is drowning in sweet treats and although you and Jaehyun now live in a rather grand estate, all this would demand no less than an industrial-sized kitchen.
“No, the company rented a space for me,” you explain. “I still had to prepare everything myself, though. It was insane.”
Jungkook’s positively beaming while you talk about the process because baking on a large scale is your dream and he can’t believe it’s finally coming true.
“I’m so fucking proud of you.”
When you meet his gaze again, he notices a light pink blush on your cheeks.
“Thanks, Kookie.”
You both revert your full attention back to Jaehyun as the end of his speech approaches. At least until Jungkook leans over to whisper another comment.
“I should really wear burgundy more often,” he ponders aloud. “Jae looks like a fucking model.”
As if you haven’t been staring at your husband all night long, your eyes slowly rake over his figure before you lick your lips and nod in agreement.
Jaehyun’s sporting a sleek, burgundy suit with a navy dress shirt underneath, presumably to match your dress. He certainly fits the appearance of a CEO from the lavish clothes down to his hair that’s expertly styled without a single strand out of place.
“He got it tailor made.”
“So you’re saying I’ll still look like a schmuck regardless of what color I wear?”
You make a noise that’s a perfect mixture of a huff and a chuckle.
“Kookie, you’re the only dive bar owner I know with a face like that. Give me a break.” Another scoff pushes past your lips. “Schmuck,” you tsk.
He knows his nerves shouldn’t light up like fireworks over you complimenting his features. You’re married to someone with the exact same face, for Christ’s sake. Obviously you find him attractive. It would be slightly concerning if you didn’t.
Alas, no amount of logic can stop his body’s reaction to your comment.
Just then, roaring applause from the conclusion of Jaehyun’s speech diverts his focus as you both join everyone in clapping for him.
“Thank you all,” Jaehyun announces. “I hope that wasn’t too painful.” With his formal speech over and done, he visibly relaxes behind the podium. “I also hope you enjoy the remainder of the evening we have planned for you. Please take some time to mingle and help yourself to the wonderful spread of food and drinks available in the back. I especially recommend trying the delicious desserts made by my beautiful wife, Y/N.”
Your jaw drops at the unexpected shout out, but you quickly force a smile when Jaehyun points at you and half the room turns over their shoulders to look.
“I told him not to mention me,” you sing-song once the crowd’s attention is off you.
Jungkook snickers.
“Cupcake, how long have you known him? Has Jae ever missed an opportunity to brag about you?”
Lo and behold, Jaehyun continues after a moment.
“And if you need somewhere to go after, the best bar in town is only a couple blocks away and owned by my twin brother,” he proclaims. “Say hi, Jungkook!” While you burst into hysterical laughter that you muffle with your palm, Jungkook turns beet red and shoots daggers at his twin, but he still waves to the room so no one notices his ire. “I’m aware it can be confusing. So if you think we’re chatting, but it seems like I have no clue what you’re talking about, it might not be me.”
Thankfully, Jaehyun’s humor pulls everyone’s eyes away so Jungkook can exhale a massive sigh of relief.
You’re still giggling at his expense, but he can’t resist smiling despite wanting to throttle his darling brother. He should’ve known better, just as he told you, since Jaehyun always supports his loved ones regardless of time and place.
By the time your laughter dies down, Jaehyun’s exiting the stage and weaving through the crowd in your direction. He’s stopped by multiple people along his path, but proceeds like a man on a mission by politely excusing himself to all of them.
Once he’s close enough, he jogs over to you while you place your hands on your hips and shake your head.
“That was some stunt you pulled up there,” you teasingly scold him.
Jaehyun ignores your faux indignation with an adoring smile.
“C’mon, baby, you know I can barely go ten minutes without talking about you.”
He effortlessly scoops you up by the waist and your act falls away in an instant as you giggle and rest your forehead on his shoulder, your own arms circling his neck.
“I’m so proud of you, honey,” you whisper while running your fingers through the short hair at his nape.
Jaehyun’s smile grows before he nuzzles his face against your throat to make you laugh again.
“Couldn’t have done it without you, sweetheart.” Your feet soon return to the ground, but Jaehyun still keeps you in his embrace. “Was it alright?”
“It was perfect, Jae.”
“Yeah? I didn’t talk too fast or anything?”
One of your hands travels from his shoulder to his cheek.
“Not at all. It was the speech to end all speeches.”
Your reassurance, however playful, causes Jaehyun to breathe a sigh of relief.
He steals a quick kiss and lets you go, but you two instinctively lace your fingers together so you’re still connected. You both turn towards Jungkook next, who immediately opens his arms for a congratulatory hug.
“You did great, bro,” Jungkook assures Jaehyun with a pat on the back.
After they part, Jaehyun returns to your side and rests his hand on your lower back.
“Thanks, Kook. I really appreciate you coming out. You didn’t need to.”
“Like I would ever want to miss all this?” Jungkook gestures to the massive crowd of blue and black suits standing around chit chatting. “You know I just adore the corporate world.” Jaehyun laughs at his brother’s signature sarcasm. “In all seriousness, I couldn’t not be here.”
“Well, I hope you stay a while and indulge in all the food. There’s no chance the people here will finish everything.”
“Oh, no worries, I’m about to clean you out of desserts.”
“No, you will not.” You cross your arms over your chest for dramatic effect even though it’s impossible for you to appear intimidating. “I made those for the guests. If you want some, I’ll bake you a separate batch.”
Jungkook melodramatically clutches his heart.
“You would do that? For me?”
You roll your eyes.
“If it keeps you from demolishing my pastries.”
Before you two can prolong your little skit, Jaehyun grabs your attention.
“Are you ready to schmooze with me?” You nod assuredly and he turns to Jungkook next. “Will we see you once we’re done or do you have to dip?”
“Nah, I gotta get to the bar,” he answers. “It’s restock night so I need to do inventory.”
Jaehyun frowns while closing the distance between them for another hug.
“That’s too bad, but thank you again for being here. And please take some food to go. Grab some for Jennie, too.”
“You got it,” Jungkook replies. “We’re still on for lunch tomorrow, right? Same time as usual?”
“Yeah, yeah. Of course. I’ll pick you up at your place,” Jaehyun confirms.
Following their farewell, you step forward to hug Jungkook as well.
“Love you. I’ll see you soon,” you tell him, as always.
“Love you, too, Cupcake.”
After you unwind yourself from the embrace, you rejoin Jaehyun who’s already reaching out for you to take his hand. He kisses your knuckles once you're beside him again before you stroll away together to interact with all the guests.
A deep sigh leaves Jungkook’s lungs as he surveys the table of expensive food and beverages. He knows he should listen to his brother and take some with him, especially considering he didn’t eat much earlier because he was too busy ordering new supplies for the bar. Alas, something inside always puts up resistance to the idea of mooching off Jaehyun, or more so his business.
Perhaps it’s silly, but ever since becoming a business owner himself he feels the need to constantly stand on his own two feet. Even when what’s being offered is just some hors d’oeuvres from a fundraiser. Although, Jungkook does steal a couple more desserts before exiting the hall straight into the cold night air.
His motorcycle’s currently in the shop for a tune up, hence why Jaehyun’s picking him up tomorrow for their monthly lunch. So, until further notice, he’s stuck traversing the five long blocks between him and his dive bar, Kookie’s.
Jungkook never really dreamed of running a bar or even owning a business. He only chose to get a business degree in college because it’s the most versatile and he wasn’t sure what he wanted. But after seeing an ad three years ago for a bar going into foreclosure, something just kept nudging him until he finally applied for a loan to purchase the building.
Now it’s practically his baby, and he does everything within his power to make it the best establishment it can be. He adores his staff, loves the location, and even enjoys mingling with regulars whenever he visits during business hours.
The doorbell dings overhead as he strolls in from the street and the patrons surrounding the entrance all glance over to see who’s entering. Upon realizing it’s none other than Jungkook, they begin hollering and cheering while some raise their bottles in his direction.
“Jeon! Didn’t know you were coming in tonight,” a frequent flyer, Felix, declares.
He successfully maintains his composure even though the warm welcome turns the tips of his ears pink.
As he passes by to reach the counter, he pats Felix on the shoulder.
“I own the place, bro.”
“True,” Felix chuckles. “But most nights it’s just Jennie running things.”
Jennie’s the bar manager, and also Jungkook’s best friend besides you and Jaehyun. Ironically, they met on Tinder, but when their only date ended in Jungkook drunkenly wailing about being in love with someone he can never have, Jennie unilaterally decided being just friends was the right approach.
They have hooked up a fair amount of times over the years, though. Usually after a late night at the bar when their decision making skills wane too much to resist, but it never makes anything awkward between them. Jungkook can not only trust Jennie to run his business, but to keep him grounded and lend a shoulder to cry on whenever he needs it.
He strives to do the same in return and seeing as they’ve been friends for close to ten years, he believes he’s doing an okay job.
She’s currently at the register counting cash so she can add some to the bartender’s tip jar. It’s a well-known fact people tip more when there’s already money in there.
Jungkook raps his knuckles against the wood to force her eyes up, which she does with a lighthearted chuckle.
“Whatcha doing here, boss? Thought you had Jaehyun’s event tonight.”
“I did, but I left after his speech,” Jungkook explains.
“I told you I can do inventory myself,” she argues.
The register slams shut before she raises a challenging eyebrow at him. Jungkook decides to play cute; pursing his lips, tilting his head, and leaning his body on the bar.
“Can’t I just miss you?”
“Ha!” Jennie rounds the counter and shoves his shoulder so he stands up straight again. “If you’re here, then you better get to work.”
She tosses him the keys to the office and he stumbles back a bit in an effort to catch them.
Jennie’s objectively gorgeous. Anyone with eyes will come to that conclusion after just a single glance. He’s also certain they’d be great together and could easily make each other happy for the rest of their lives. The only issue is Jungkook can’t bring himself to cross that divide. He cares about her too much to do so when his feelings for you are impermeable.
Even though he’ll never have a chance to be with you, Jennie doesn’t deserve to be anyone’s second choice.
“Damn, Jen, you’re feisty tonight,” he teases.
Her feet are already carrying her in the opposite direction, towards the kitchen behind the bar, but she still tosses a reply over her shoulder.
“You would be too after the night I’ve had.”
Jungkook’s brow scrunches and he immediately forgoes the playful attitude to follow her.
“Hey, wait!” Upon catching up, he gently grabs her elbow to halt her steps. “What does that mean? What happened?”
Jennie’s chewing on her lower lip and Jungkook knows her well enough to understand she doesn’t want to answer, but he’s not about to let up.
“It was this guy. A newbie I’ve never seen before,” she explains. “Let’s just say he didn’t respect me very much as the manager. Or at all.”
“Excuse me?” A flame sparks in Jungkook’s chest. “What did he do? Are you hurt?”
On instinct, the hand on her elbow slides up to her shoulder as his eyes frantically inspect her for injuries.
She’s plenty used to Jungkook being protective. A female manager in the bar scene isn’t exactly common and it can cause issues when drunk, belligerent men are involved. So, she reaches across her body to push his arm off while sending him a reassuring smile.
“He didn’t touch me, Kook,” she clarifies. “Just acted like a complete asshole.” A grateful sigh passes through his lips. “But his card was already on file so I flagged him in the system.”
“Good.” Jungkook sucks in air between his teeth and pinches the bridge of his nose. “That’s good.”
“Don’t —”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here.”
“— apologize.”
“Jen, I’m your boss. Whether you like it or not, it’s my responsibility if you get harassed at work.”
“Yeah, well, whether you like it or not I’m a big girl who can handle herself.” She sighs and crosses her arms. “You don’t have to treat me like I’m fragile.”
That causes him to hesitate because he doesn’t want to say the wrong thing. She’s right, and they both know it, but nothing will ever stop Jungkook from worrying about someone he cares about.
“It’s not about you being fragile,” he counters. “I would just never forgive myself if something happened to you.” There’s a brief pause before he pivots tactics. “I mean, you’re my best friend. Pardon me for giving a shit.”
Jennie laughs and her tense features soften a little.
“I appreciate it, Kook. You know I do. But some faith in me would be nice.”
Jungkook disagreeably shakes his head.
“I believe in you more than anyone, Jen.”
This is a common debate between them. When Jungkook first opened Kookie’s, he asked Jennie to be the bartender since she’d worked as one in college. But once the bar became something more substantial, he needed help with the administrative tasks as opposed to pouring drinks.
Jungkook wanted to hire someone externally, but Jennie begged him to give her the job instead. She claimed she knew the place front to back and anyone else wouldn’t be as efficient as her, which he truly couldn’t deny.
He wasn’t hesitant because of a lack of trust in her to run things in his absence, but due to situations like this. Her safety and wellbeing are far more important to him than his business.
Obviously, he eventually relented, and Jennie’s been the manager for over two years now. She does an outstanding job, but Jungkook still hovers and it makes her feel like he doesn’t find her capable enough for the role.
But since they’re best friends above all else, they can argue about the same topic over and over again without any love lost.
“If that’s true, then go home and let me finish the inventory,” she suggests.
The idea causes Jungkook to click his tongue and rest his hands on his hips, but he knows she’ll throttle him if he doesn’t agree.
“Alright. You take care of inventory, but I’ll run the front. Just in case that asshole decides to come back.”
“Deal.” They both relax following the consensus, each of them leaning against one of the steel counters in the kitchen. “So, why did you actually leave your brother’s thing early?”
Jungkook pretends to be clueless by gently shaking his head.
“There wasn't one.”
“Uh huh.”
Although Jennie isn’t aware of Jungkook’s affection for you specifically, she knows something, or someone, in his life leaves him with an unrelenting ache.
“Whatever. Get to work, subordinate.”
Jennie gawks and chucks a dish towel at him that he seamlessly catches and uses to give her a noogie. She shrieks in response while pushing his chest, but Jungkook doesn’t stop until her hair looks like she was electrocuted.
She huffs in frustration while Jungkook merely strolls out of the kitchen with a lingering laugh trailing behind him.
The night concludes without a hitch, which gives Jennie bragging rights about Jungkook having nothing to worry about. She’s still working on the inventory when he locks the door and flips off the neon “OPEN” sign in the window, but she manages to convince him to go home.
“You sure you’ll be alright here alone?” Jungkook asks a couple feet from the door.
“If you ask me that one more time, you won’t be alright,” she threatens with a faux cordial smile.
He knows she means it, so he sighs in defeat and does his signature two-finger salute before turning on his heel to leave.
Less than twelve hours later, Jungkook’s waiting for Jaehyun outside his apartment for their monthly lunch. It’s a tradition they erected soon after college once they both entered the workforce. Unlike school, there’s no guarantee of seeing one another so they grab a meal together at least once a month.
Of course, regardless of their plans, they usually hang out a couple times a week.
Being a twin has a lot of perks, but the biggest one is having a built-in best friend.
When a long black sedan pulls up in front of him, he doesn’t bat an eye since Jaehyun drives a sleek Mercedes just as he always has. But then the back window rolls down to reveal none other than his twin sporting a proud smirk.
“Hop in, broski,” Jaehyun chuckles.
Alternatively, Jungkook’s face drops into an incredulous glare.
“You’re kidding.”
Despite being a CEO, Jaehyun doesn’t really conform to the lifestyle of a filthy rich 30-something. For instance, he allows a driver to bring him from place to place for work purposes, but insists on using his own car for everything else.
“Look, my meeting ran long and I didn’t have time to switch cars.”
“You’re making me look bad, you know. I’m a small business owner. I can’t be seen fraternizing with the enemy,” Jungkook complains.
Jaehyun laughs again with an affectionate head shake.
“I’ll make my driver park around the block. C’mon.”
Jungkook relents following an overdramatic huff, but he still ducks behind a nearby pole to prolong the ruse that they shouldn’t be seen together. After quickly gazing in both directions and putting his hands up in a gun shape, he scurries over to the car before throwing the door open and front-rolling inside as fast as he can.
Meanwhile, poor Jaehyun’s nearly in tears from the hysterical laughter overtaking him.
“You’re such a fucking idiot,” he manages to comment between giggles.
The driver pulls away from the curb while Jaehyun’s busy drying the corners of his eyes and Jungkook’s settling in his seat.
Even though Jaehyun’s been CEO of Jeon Industries for years at this point, Jungkook’s never ridden in the company car. At least not since childhood when they’d occasionally join their parents for an event.
He observes the lush interior with wide, curious eyes while running his hands along the leather and buttons. When he presses down on the one right below the lock, a thick piece of black glass rises from between the two front seats and severs their connection with the driver.
“Damn! Even a partition?” He cheers.
Jaehyun nods and leans back against the corner seat so he can face his brother.
“Hell yeah. I told you being a company man isn’t the worst thing in the world.”
“Yeah, yeah.” Jungkook flicks the glass and the sound echoes, telling him it really is as soundproof as they claim. “Huh. So how many times have you and Y/N…”
His hands gesture towards the partition and then the backseat, and Jaehyun immediately understands what’s being asked. He rolls his eyes like it’s a ridiculous question, but Jungkook just sends him a straight-faced, disbelieving look and soon enough Jaehyun smirks because he knows he’s been caught red handed.
“About half a dozen. Give or take,” he answers.
Jungkook snorts.
“Freaks.”
“Yah, you’re the one asking about your brother’s sex life.” The two share a laugh before Jaehyun changes topics. “Did you enjoy the fundraiser?”
“Ehhhhh.”
“Alright, alright,” Jaehyun graciously concedes.
“I mean, you know that’s not my scene. But I loved hearing your speech and Y/N’s desserts were out of this world.”
The mere mention of you pulls an endeared, lovesick sigh out of Jaehyun.
“Weren’t they? She worked so fucking hard and I’m just… in complete awe of her. As always.”
A bright smile naturally spreads across Jungkook’s face. Whenever he hears Jaehyun rave about you he can’t help but feel cheerful. At least if he can’t have you, the best man in the entire world does. Plus, his twin’s happiness means more to him than both his own or anyone else’s.
“She’s going to be a big name baker in no time,” Jungkook predicts.
Jaehyun agreeably nods before a thought causes his head to tick to the side.
“Wait, did you try anything else? You know, the actual food?” Jungkook realizes he’s been discovered and attempts to cover his tracks with a cough, but his brother knows better. “Kook,” he scolds him.
“Listen —”
“No, you listen.” Jaehyun fully turns towards him by bending one knee and resting it on the seat. “I know you don’t jive with this world.” He points around the car for emphasis. “And I know you equate taking anything from it with accepting charity, but that’s bullshit.” Jaehyun inhales to collect his thoughts before continuing. “We’re both business owners, yeah?” Jungkook nods. “Then it doesn’t matter how much profit our respective places make or that I run a corporation and you own a bar. You’ve worked just as hard as I have regardless of the industry you’re in. In fact, you probably worked harder than me to achieve everything you have now. Sure, I paid my dues at the company, but I was always going to take over as CEO after dad retired. You chased a dream; built something from the ground up that’s absolutely thriving. So there's no shame in possibly needing my or anybody’s help, business related or not.”
Obviously, this conversation has nothing to do with food. This is something that’s been building for years because of Jungkook’s refusal to accept anything from Jaehyun, their parents, or anybody else since the moment they graduated from university.
At first, it was because Jungkook felt like he had something to prove. Right after school, Jaehyun joined Jeon Industries while Jungkook floated from one well-meaning job to another. So, he thought he needed to show everyone, or maybe just himself, that he can stand on his own without his family’s wealth.
Purchasing Kookie’s changed his perspective since there was no longer any doubt, self imposed or otherwise, that he could succeed by himself. But Jaehyun was already CEO by then and so his resistance shifted into something more akin to insecurity. Because while he had to take out a sizable loan to kickstart the business, a single paycheck of Jaehyun’s could’ve covered both the building and renovations.
Which he offered to do without an ounce of hesitation when Jungkook originally told him his plan.
Although he knows his brother meant well and he always appreciates Jaehyun’s support, he left the conversation feeling like he would never be enough. It’s not as though Kookie’s will ever bring in even a quarter of the profit Jeon Industries does, and that reignited his determination to prove he doesn’t need anyone but himself.
Jaehyun doesn’t view the situation like Jungkook does and that’s where this grandstand’s coming from. He believes in both Jungkook’s choices and abilities as a businessman more than anyone and finds it ridiculous to compare two polar opposite careers. He also knows if the roles were reversed Jungkook would never shy away from helping him out.
“You just don’t get it, Jae,” he argues.
“But I do, Kook. I understand putting your pride first and I’m not asking you to accept any handouts. I just want you to give yourself some grace, okay?” Jaehyun lays a hand on Jungkook’s shoulder. “You’re a goddamn bona fide success story if I’ve ever seen one and leaning on the people around you will never erase that.”
Jungkook sighs while fiddling with his fingers in his lap, but soon enough his lips pull upwards into a smile.
“Thanks, Jae. That means a lot coming from you.”
When he glances up again, Jaehyun’s wearing an identical grin.
“It shouldn’t. I’m just some new money nepo baby,” he counters.
The clever deflection leaves them both laughing as Jaehyun pats Jungkook’s shoulder again before retracting his hand.
Jaehyun’s words resonate with Jungkook despite his prior stubbornness about the topic. He isn’t sure what it is about this specific conversation, but the weight he constantly carries on his shoulders feels a little lighter.
“You know I love you, right?” Jungkook asks.
His twin smiles so wide his eyes become little crescents and Jungkook instantly mirrors the expression.
“Always,” he assures him. “And I love you.”
The two men happily giggle together, but after a moment Jaehyun’s face falls and his eyes grow cartoonishly wide. Jungkook notices the abrupt change right away, causing his eyebrows to kiss with confusion.
“Wha —”
“Kook, get down!”
Everything happens too fast to distinguish the proper order of events. All Jungkook registers is Jaehyun tackling him straight to the floor, an ear-piercing crash and the sound of metal scraping, and an unbelievable amount of pressure surrounding him.
After that it’s just pitch black nothingness.
A blinding, fluorescent light is what returns to Jungkook’s field of vision first. The bright white color overheard forces him to gradually blink his eyes open in order to accommodate the stark difference.
There’s also a steady beep and low hum coming from somewhere in the room, but he’s still too disoriented to make sense of left or right, up and down.
He groans and tries twisting his head, but his neck, and quite frankly, his entire body, feels stiff. When he finally manages to accomplish the task, he notices Jaehyun lying in a bed parallel to his own.
On sheer instinct, his hand stretches out towards his twin.
“Ja —”
“Oh, you’re awake,” someone exclaims.
Jungkook turns to locate the owner of the unfamiliar voice and finds a young nurse standing at the foot of his bed.
“Where am I?”
“You’re at Seoul National Hospital,” she calmly explains. “Do you know why you're here?”
The fleeting, vivid memory of Jaehyun shouting his name flashes across his mind, but there isn’t much else.
“Not really,” he answers.
“You were in a car accident earlier and the paramedics brought you in.”
“Oh.” That certainly tracks with the sounds and sensations he felt before passing out. “What about my —”
“Sir, I apologize, but there’s something else.” Jungkook looks at her expectantly, but she seems too nervous to speak as her fingers cling to the edges of her clipboard. “Your…” She gulps. “Sir, I’m so very sorry to tell you this, but… but your brother didn’t survive the crash.”
For a singular moment in time, Jungkook’s mind, the world, and maybe even the heavens go hauntingly silent.
Then all at once everything becomes total and utter chaos.
Sirens, warning bells, screaming, alarms, whatever torturous noises may exist in this world all blare inside his skull until he believes it’ll explode from the pressure. He can’t think, hear, or see straight and somehow his body feels both weightless and heavier than a skyscraper.
“What… what did you… you just say?” He stutters in fear.
“Sir —”
“No, no. That’s not possible.” An extreme sense of panic is beginning to overtake him to the point he doesn’t even feel like he’s inside his own skin anymore. “That can’t be. He can’t be.”
It isn’t possible because that would mean he’s alone. That his other half, the matching piece of him which makes him whole, the person he shares a soul with… is gone.
How could he ever survive in that condition? He doesn’t even know who he is without his twin.
Nothing is the only answer that comes to mind.
“Sir, just try to stay calm. Why don’t you tell me your name?”
The question completely catches him off guard.
“My name?”
He’s having difficulty breathing and the room seems to be twisting and turning in different directions all around him, but she’s concerned with administrative details?
“Yes, focusing on something will help,” she claims. “Plus, we need to know for identification purposes. You and your brother’s wallets got thrown around during the crash so we haven’t been able to tell you apart.”
A contradicting mixture of confusion and enlightenment breaks through the black cloud hovering above him as he slowly discerns what that means.
So far he’s the only person who knows what happened. His parents, family, and friends have no idea which twin survived. At this very moment, he exists only in a limbo outside the real world where both he and Jaehyun are simultaneously alive and dead.
Once he utters his name, the glass will shatter, and he’ll have to face reality. Not just him, though, but everyone. Which means…
Oh, god. You.
A horrifying vision of you crumbling into a heap on the ground while you scream as loud as your lungs will let you whirls around his mind until it’s all he can imagine. He can picture exactly how your face will contort in agony as salty tears stain your cheeks and suddenly only one notion crosses his mind.
That he would do anything to ensure that never happens.
“Jaehyun,” he whispers without a second thought. “I’m Jaehyun.”
It’s the stupidest, most reckless, and unhinged decision he’s ever made, but he doesn’t have any other choice. Not when he refuses to let his premonition come true. He has to protect you; shield you from the truth so you won’t ever have to feel the emotions he’s experiencing right now.
“Jaehyun,” the nurse repeats. “So, this is Jungkook?”
She gestures to the other bed and Jungkook turns to see his brother for the first time since she told him. He honestly just looks to be sleeping, but after focusing more on Jaehyun’s appearance, he notices the cuts and bruises all over his face and exposed arm.
It almost feels like she’s asking to give him one last chance to correct his original answer; to right the wrong before it’s solidified. But Jungkook doesn’t falter.
“Yes, that’s Jungkook.”
The nurse sighs deeply.
“I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Loss?
No, that doesn’t sound right. The word is far too small to hold the weight of his twin. Then again, no word will ever be enough to describe everything that Jaehyun was.
She offers him a soft smile while stepping closer to his bedside.
“I’ll go notify your family and they’ll contact a funeral home who will escort your brother to the morgue.” Jungkook grimaces at the thought of Jaehyun in such a cold, lifeless place. He doesn’t belong at a morgue. He belongs with him, you, and their parents. He’s meant to be somewhere warm and inviting just like he is. Or was. “You’re medically cleared so once you’re ready, you can join your family outside. You and your brother’s belongings are in those bags there so please take them with you.”
“What are my injuries? I don’t feel anything but sore.”
“That’s normal. You only suffered some minor bruising and superficial cuts,” she announces.
That doesn’t compute with Jungkook and he begins shaking his head like it’ll somehow make sense of what she said.
“How is it possible for me to walk away almost entirely unscathed when Jungkook didn’t even survive the crash?”
The sentence tastes weird coming out of his mouth.
Her face falls and she starts chewing on her lower lip and flipping through the pages on her clipboard like she’s dreading the explanation. Finally, after a couple seconds, she sighs again and offers him a sympathetic look.
“According to the paramedics, when they found you…” She pauses to inhale. “It appears your brother shielded you with his body. Between the floorboard and him covering you, it created a pocket of space that kept you safe from the effects of the crash. If he hadn’t, it’s highly unlikely either of you would’ve survived.”
A harsh, violent sob rips through Jungkook’s chest and causes him to choke. He clasps his hand over his mouth when tears begin to endlessly cascade down his face. His heart feels like it’s being forcibly torn from his body and thrown into an incinerator, leaving behind just a shallow husk that’s drowning in red hot blood from the inside out.
All he can think of is Jaehyun using his final moments to do the thing he always did best; protecting him. He suddenly remembers his brother’s eyes widening upon noticing something over Jungkook’s shoulder and how he didn’t hesitate for a second before springing into action.
Jaehyun is only dead because Jungkook is alive.
But that isn’t right. Jungkook refuses to accept it because Jaehyun’s the one who deserves to live. He has a wife, a massive company where people rely on him, and most of all, a heart full of pure gold.
After a few minutes of crying so hard his throat hurts, he manages to take some deep breaths and slow the constant flow of tears from his eyes.
“So, then,” he sniffles. “Am I the only person to survive?”
“That’s right,” she answers. “Your vehicle was hit by a semi-truck while stopped at a red light. The collision caused your car to roll three times before a telephone pole stopped its momentum. Due to the truck’s high speed, it slammed into a nearby building and the driver was killed on impact. No passersby were hurt, though.”
“Then what killed Jungkook was…”
“Blunt force trauma to the head and internal bleeding.”
He’s thankful he and Jaehyun traded places so often growing up or else this conversation would be close to impossible without tripping up.
“Can I… can I stay here with him before I go?”
“Of course. Take all the time you need,” she assures him. “When you’re ready, your family will be waiting for you right outside the double doors at the end of the hall.”
Jungkook mindlessly nods before thanking her as she turns to leave. Once she’s gone and the door shuts with a soft click, he attempts to sit up for the first time.
His equilibrium is still skewed and an intense wave of vertigo gives him pause for a moment, but he eventually manages to swing his legs over the edge of the mattress and straighten his spine.
His eyes remain fixed on the floor tiles while his mind filters through millions of different thoughts like a jukebox of misery. He starts to wonder if his loved ones know yet and if so, how they reacted. His heart shatters all over again at the idea of his mother and father finding out one of them is gone. They loved him and Jaehyun more than life itself and he can’t even begin to fathom the anguish they’ll be in.
For a fleeting moment, an ugly, twisted thought occurs to him.
Will people be relieved? Not necessarily that he died, but that Jaehyun’s the one who survived.
Will you be relieved?
You have to be, right? When you found out they were in an accident and one of them didn’t make it, you must’ve breathed a sigh of relief after hearing your beloved husband is alive.
He certainly wouldn’t blame you if you did.
What Jungkook doesn’t know is that although he’s correct about his parents, he couldn’t be more wrong about your reaction.
As soon as the nurse uttered the syllables of his name, their poor mother let out a horrific shriek and collapsed into her husband, who was too shocked to do anything but catch her with a face entirely devoid of emotion. Similarly, you screamed bloody murder into your palms before dropping into a chair and pulling your knees to your chest so you could hysterically wail into your jeans.
It never occurred to you to feel even an ounce of relief because it wasn’t about which twin survived; losing either of them was too much to bear.
Back in the hospital room, Jungkook finally lifts his eyes up until they land on Jaehyun. His brother still looks perfectly at peace tucked under the soft, white sheet.
A piece of him wishes he could just remain here forever and convince himself Jaehyun’s only sleeping. In all honesty, he’d rather stay until his twin’s body is nothing but bones than live in the outside world without him.
But he can’t do that because people out there need him. Well, they need Jaehyun. That’s the reason he’s going to live on as him.
His eyes water again as he observes his precious brother lying just ahead of him and soon enough his chest begins shaking from the intensity of his cries.
“You’re such an idiot, Jae,” he croaks. “Why the fuck would you do that? Why would you… why would you save me?” Jungkook shakes his head in disbelief. “You have so many people who rely on you. You have Y/N, for Christ’s sake. Why would you protect me when they need you?” His words are coming out muffled due to his forceful sobs, but it doesn’t matter because no one else can hear him. “My life isn’t worth yours, Jae. Not even close.” He methodically swipes at his eyes, but the tears are unrelenting. “You should’ve been the one to survive, not me… never me.” Before Jungkook can even register his body moving, he drops to his knees beside Jaehyun’s bed and grabs his hand. It’s involuntary; like they’re a pair of magnets always meant to attract each other. Jungkook presses his forehead to his twin’s knuckles as he continues to gasp for air. “You. Can’t. Leave. Me.” His vocal chords are rubbed raw and each word escapes between hoarse hiccups. “Please, Jae,” he weeps. “Please, I can’t do this without you. I don’t know how. I’m not… I’m nothing without you. I’m not even a full person.” He switches to resting his cheek against the back of Jaehyun’s hand so he can see his face. “We were supposed to live this life together,” Jungkook whimpers. “It’s meant to be you and me until the end. And… and Y/N. Cheers to the Jeons, remember?” His tears are gradually subsiding, allowing him to finally inhale as his thoughts start to organize themselves. “That’s why I’m doing this. Because you should be here, Jae, and if the universe got it wrong, then I’ll make it right. I’ll let myself die and be the one who gets buried underground, so you can live on through me.” He reaches out to gently push the hair out of Jaehyun’s closed eyes. “I promise to take care of everyone. I’ll look after mom and dad and keep the company running. As for Y/N… I’ll make sure she never feels this. She won’t ever lose you, Jae.” Following a deep sigh, Jungkook rises from his knees and leans over to kiss Jaehyun’s forehead before adjusting his blanket to a more comfortable position. “You won’t be alone for long, okay? I’ll come to the funeral home as soon as I can.” His eyes fill up with tears again, but none fall. “I love you, big brother.”
Jaehyun always teased Jungkook about being eleven minutes older and often claimed he should be respectfully referred to as such. So, he figures he’ll give his twin the satisfaction at least once in this lifetime.
Once his thoughts and emotions settle into just a dull hum in his ears, he takes another deep breath and gets ready to leave. He dresses himself in Jaehyun’s clothes and slips his belongings into his pockets until there’s none left. His next stop is the mirror, where he observes his own appearance for the first time.
Frankly, he looks like hell even without extensive injuries. His face is sullen and devoid of light, his eyes have massive bags under them, and his hair is in knots all over his head. But at least he looks like Jaehyun, and that’s what matters.
It’s a good thing he got a hair cut last week since prior to then the length was about three or four inches longer than his brother’s.
There’s still one thing, though.
Jungkook gasps when he remembers the distinct feature only he possesses while running his fingertips across his cheek. The infamous scar which will no doubt instantly give him away is a major problem. Luckily, the accident itself provides a perfect cover story.
He quickly turns around to rummage through his own possessions for his pocket knife and upon locating it, he grabs an alcohol wipe from a bin of supplies in the room and sterilizes the blade.
Once in front of the mirror again, he cranes his neck so he can see what he’s doing before placing the tip of the knife at the start of the small scar.
“Just go slow, not too deep, and do not fuck up your face,” he instructs himself.
Following a long inhale, he applies pressure and slowly glides the blade down his cheek until there’s a slightly longer, fresh cut hiding the old one. The metal stings as it slices his skin open and he hisses afterwards because of the ache on the left side of his face.
Jungkook surveys the new mark to ensure it’s sufficient before snagging a bandage to cover the injury. Then he slings the hospital bag over his shoulder and turns towards his brother again.
“I’ll see you soon. Okay, Jae?”
He exits the room and closes the door behind him so no one disturbs his twin and heads for the double doors the nurse spoke of. When he reaches them, he stops to spend a moment counting his inhales and exhales as a means of calming himself down.
Beyond this point, his whole world changes forever. Not only is it one where his brother doesn’t exist, but once he steps through the doors, Jungkook is dead.
The life he knew is over and done, but losing his own identity is more than worth it to keep Jaehyun alive.
After smacking the automatic button, he anxiously waits while the two doors swing open. His eyes flit around the waiting room for someone he recognizes and as if by fate, the first person his sights land on is you standing with his aunt near some chairs. He starts to open his mouth to call for you, but your head naturally turns in his direction first.
The world seems to slow like a movie effect when you catch one another’s gaze. Your eyes open wider and your mouth forms a soft O, but soon enough all your features wilt as tears begin to pool along your waterline.
“Jae,” you quietly gasp.
Jungkook watches you place one foot in front of the other until you’re full-on running to him. He automatically follows your lead by rushing ahead and once you reach each other, he lifts you right off the ground while one hand circles your waist and the other cradles the back of your head.
You’re already crying into his shirt where your face is hidden and Jungkook instinctively shushes you and pets your hair.
“I was so scared,” you whimper against his skin.
“I know, baby, I know.” Jungkook twists his head so he can kiss your temple, where he whispers his next phrase. “But it’s all over now.”
A sorrowful, pained whine leaves your lips when you nuzzle yourself deeper into his neck. Jungkook echoes the action, resting his forehead on your shoulder while his fingers slide along your scalp.
After what feels like both too long and not enough time, Jungkook returns you to the ground and pulls back so you can see each other. As soon as he does, he notices a wave of confusion cross your face. It makes him momentarily panic about the possibility of already being caught, but then the expression disappears just as quickly as it came.
It’s replaced with the familiar look of devotion you always have around Jaehyun while your hands rise to cup his face.
“Are you okay?”
Your fingers delicately graze the bandage on his left cheek and he covers your hand with his own as a wordless reassurance.
“It’s my only injury,” he answers.
“What?”
Based on your expression, it seems you’re experiencing the same puzzlement he did.
“Jungkook…” He pauses both for the sake of his emotions and to ensure he doesn’t mess up. “The nurse told me he protected me during the crash. And I remember him tackling me to the ground right before everything went black. That’s why I’m totally unharmed while he…” His voice trails off when fresh tears start blurring his vision. “It’s all my fault,” he cries.
Jungkook’s already shaking again by the time you force him into another embrace so he can sob into your neck. Just as he did with you, one of your hands slinks up into his hair while the other creates soothing circles along his spine.
“That’s not true, baby,” you profess in his ear. “And he wouldn’t want you to think like that.”
The comfort of your voice ironically just makes him wail louder as he clings to your shirt like a lifeline. He’s certain if you weren’t holding him he’d already be on his knees. His grief is inconceivable and the only reason he isn’t drowning is because your arms are around him.
When he lifts his head again, you immediately wipe away the remaining tears on his cheeks.
“We should be with your family,” you suggest.
He nods despite dreading the idea of seeing his parent’s faces right now, but before you can lead him across the room by his hand, a new thought occurs.
“Wait,” he calls while grabbing your arm to stop you. “The bar. Does anyone there know yet?”
An image of Jennie flashes in his mind and causes his heart to clench.
He hasn’t had time to consider all the consequences of throwing his own life away just yet. Including how it’ll affect everyone he loves, because while he’ll get to see all of them again, they’ll never see him.
His last moments with Jennie will forever be her playfully threatening him if he didn’t stop being so damn protective. It was such a mundane and familiar scene, but now it bears the weight of their entire friendship.
“No, we’ve only called family so far,” you respond.
Jungkook grimaces.
“We need to tell them. Jennie, at the very least.”
“I’ll do it.”
“What? No —”
“You should be with your family and she deserves to hear it in person,” you argue.
He can’t refute that, no matter how much he wants you to stay by his side.
“Okay,” he relents.
You steal the hand resting on your elbow so you can encompass it between your own and plant a gentle kiss on his knuckles.
“We’ll meet back at home?”
Jungkook nods and you leave soon after for Kookie’s, hopefully arriving before the bar opens. In the meantime, he tries to regulate his nervous system and emotions so he can greet his family. He knows it’s technically pointless since he’s going to break down again as soon as he sees his parents, but he has to at least try holding it together.
Once he rounds the corner from the hallway, he notices a small group of his loved ones gathered together. Most of his aunts, uncles, and cousins are present and thankfully, everyone seems to be okay at the moment.
His eyes land on his mom and dad near the back of the crowd and the thought of interacting with them for the first time as an only child makes him want to vomit. Alas, he can’t put it off forever.
“Mom,” he softly calls for her.
Her head instantly whips in the direction of his voice and Jungkook holds his breath in anticipation.
“Oh, Jae!”
She scurries over to him like a bullet and Jungkook helps close the gap before throwing his arms around her. His mom hugs him so tight he worries she might crack his ribs, but he doesn’t mind. This is precisely what he needs.
As expected, he’s already crying again and he can hear his mom sniffling in his ear. It causes all his horrible, overwhelming thoughts and feelings to come roaring back stronger than ever despite her comforting embrace.
“I’m so happy you’re okay,” she whispers.
His heart cracks right down the middle and suddenly the deep sobs from earlier return to haunt him.
“I’m sorry,” he croaks. “I’m so sorry.”
“Shh. You have nothing to be sorry about, sweetie.”
“He should be here.” Jungkook gasps and chokes on nothing but his crushing guilt. “He’s supposed to be here.” His mom gently tugs him upright so she can caress his face and swipe at his tears. “I’m not meant to be alone. We’re two for a reason. I’m… I’m only half a person. How am I supposed to survive with half of me missing?”
“But you’re not alone,” she assures him. “You’ve got us. You’ve got Y/N. We’re here, my darling.”
He doesn’t know how to explain what someone else will never be able to understand. No one but him and Jaehyun, and perhaps all the other identical twins in the world, can comprehend what this feels like. It’s like being slowly ripped in half with a dull knife; his very soul stretching across an incomprehensible divide.
“It isn’t the same, mom.” His tears are finally beginning to wane again and allowing him to speak clearer. “You have no idea. It isn’t possible for you to.”
She frowns and drops her hands from his face to hold both of his instead.
“Maybe not, but I think I can come pretty close.” Her voice breaks at the end of her sentence. “I gave birth to two beautiful boys. But now only one’s standing in front of me.” Jungkook’s stomach drops while she inhales to prevent more tears from falling. “You claim you’re cut in half, but I’m in thirds.”
“Mom,” Jungkook cries.
“I’m not telling you that to make you feel bad, sweetie.” She squeezes his hands a few times with a soft smile on her lips. It’s an expression only a mother could manage at a time like this. “It’s so you know we’re in this together.”
He has to briefly close his eyes to keep his emotions in check, especially when his mom reaches up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. His dad approaches them soon after, causing a similar cycle of tears and tight hugs to repeat.
By the time Jungkook’s spoken to everyone at least once, he’s so mentally and physically drained he can barely stand up straight. His parents drive him home, Jaehyun’s home, and your car’s already there when they pull into the driveway.
“I’ll come over tomorrow,” he declares. “So we can talk about… stuff.”
“Alright, darling,” his mom responds, turning around to rest her hand atop his own.
Jungkook exits the car after a quick goodbye and fishes through Jaehyun’s coat pocket for the house keys as he walks towards the front door. He manages to locate them, but his brother’s key ring has at least ten others dangling from the small, metal loop.
“Jesus Christ, Jae,” he mumbles to himself while attempting each one.
Once he succeeds in opening the door, he peers inside before entering the house and turning the lock behind him.
It’s almost eerily silent in the home. Of all the times he’s been here, there's almost always music playing or a kitchen timer going off. He supposes it’s fitting, though. Without Jaehyun, the world is simply duller.
“Sweetheart?” He calls as he slips off his shoes and hangs his coat on the rack.
He doesn’t hear a single peep until he nears the master bedroom.
The door’s slightly cracked, but enough for Jungkook to spot you sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed. You’re crying so hard your breath is skipping every couple seconds as your upper body rattles. It’s heartbreaking to witness, and even more so when he realizes you’re also clutching a picture frame to your chest.
Jungkook inhales in preparation and then lifts his hand to rap his knuckles against the wood. Your head rises at the unexpected sound and it turns out seeing your somber, tearful expression is even worse than watching you sob.
“Hi,” you rasp.
“Hi, baby.” You use your shirtsleeve to dry the tears on your cheeks while Jungkook walks further into the bedroom. He sits down once he’s close enough before sliding over until your shoulders brush. Like its muscle memory, you melt into his side while your body releases all the built-up tension. “Whatcha got there?”
Your eyes drop to the object in your hands and you tentatively pull it away from your chest to rest it on your knees so Jungkook can see.
It’s a photo from your wedding, one of you and Jungkook taken after the ceremony by your photographer. Besides the bride and groom portraits, you had them capture quite a few pictures of Jungkook and Jaehyun, the three of you, and finally you and Jungkook.
In this particular image, Jungkook’s hugging you from behind, but he’d tickled you right as the photographer snapped the picture, resulting in an adorable still shot of you two laughing. Just like you always do whenever you’re together.
Did. Since he’s effectively dead now.
Jungkook hasn’t seen the photo in a while, even though it’s framed in his office amongst other photos from your wedding day. It’s hung up on the opposite wall to his desk, so he has to make a point of gazing at them when he isn’t working.
The framed photograph automatically produces fresh tears, although they feel happier than his previous ones.
“I love that photo,” he chuckles while using his thumb to dry his cheek.
“Mmhm,” you hum with a hint of a grin. “Me, too.” Jungkook watches your fingers run down the glass so you can trace his face in the image. You hiccup and sniffle, but it isn’t enough, and you begin softly crying a second later. “I can’t…” You inhale deeply. “I just can’t believe he’s gone.”
You’re sobbing again before you can stop yourself and automatically cling to Jungkook by slinging your arms around his neck and burying your face in his shirt. His hands slide around your waist to hold you tight and he even tugs you across his lap so he can gently rock you back and forth.
He won’t lie and say it doesn’t satisfy something malignant inside him that this is your reaction. His worst fear was that you'd be too happy about Jaehyun being alive to care about Jungkook being dead. But it’s a miniscule piece of him. For the most part, his heart aches at the mere thought of you being sad or in pain.
“I’m sorry,” you whimper. “I’m trying to be strong for you.”
Jungkook’s face immediately scrunches in disapproval.
“I don’t want that, baby.” He trails a hand up your back to lift your head as his mom’s words from earlier echo in his mind. “We’re in this together.”
You shake your head.
“It isn’t the same for me as it is for you. I’m your wife, I need to be there for you.”
“You are,” Jungkook interjects. “Just by being here in my arms and looking at me like you always do. It’s more than enough.”
Instead of replying, you collapse back into him while tightening your hold. Jungkook follows suit just as vehemently until you two can’t possibly get any closer.
After a few minutes, you both naturally unwind from the embrace, although you stay in his lap and draw absentminded shapes along his collarbone with your fingernail.
“How did it go? Is Jennie alright?” He eventually asks.
“Not even close.” When Jungkook’s eyes tilt down in concern, you elaborate. “I don’t know if I’ve ever heard such a horrible sound before. She screamed like… like I’d plunged my hand into her chest and suffocated her heart. Then she just started chanting ‘no, no, no’ until it mixed in with the shrieking to become this gut wrenching… prayer, almost. I had to catch her, too, because she instantly started dropping to her knees. But she clung to me so tight it brought us straight down to the floor. And that’s where we stayed while she sobbed and whimpered his name until her voice was gone.”
As you speak, Jungkook has to drive his nails into his palms to keep it together. Because Jaehyun wouldn’t react to that news like he would.
For him, every word you utter stomps on his lungs with the weight of an elephant. Not only because the vision you’re painting is downright agonizing to imagine, but because it’s all his fault.
In saving you from the heartache of losing Jaehyun, he condemned Jennie to that fate instead. Sure, it isn’t exactly the same since their relationship’s platonic, but she’s still his best friend of a decade.
“She’s not still there, is she? All alone?”
“Oh, god, no,” you confirm. “Once she calmed down, I helped her hang a sign on the door stating Kookie’s would be closed until further notice and drove her home. I also told her to call me if she needs anything.”
Jungkook nods along with a sigh of relief before allowing his head to rest on your shoulder. It's becoming increasingly difficult to even hold it up, but it helps when you start combing through his hair and kissing his crown. The sensation of your fingertips on his scalp elicits an appreciative hum and soon enough his entire body relaxes against you.
“You should get some sleep, honey.”
He shakes his head while lifting it again to meet your gaze.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to,” he admits.
“Well, let’s at least get you out of these clothes.”
After standing up, you offer him your hands and he takes them without a second thought so you can help pull him to his feet. You begin to lead him towards the en-suite, but suddenly Jungkook’s paralyzed with a completely new fear. He halts fast, causing you to get tugged back in his direction.
“Jae?”
“I can’t…”
“What’s wrong?” You attempt to survey his expression, but he’s staring straight past you into the large bathroom. “Honey?”
“I can’t… um… can’t…” He exhales a shaky breath. “I don’t wanna look in the mirror.”
Earlier when he was ensuring his appearance would exactly match Jaehyun’s, his adrenaline and determination were guiding him and he didn’t think much about it. But now that his body and mind have had time to settle, the idea of looking in the mirror and seeing his twin’s face staring back is terrifying.
Luckily, you steal his attention by gently pulling his face down so he’s looking at you instead, freeing him from the anxious reverie.
“That’s alright. You don’t have to,” you reassure him.
“How? I mean, there’s one in every bathroom.”
You thoughtfully purse your lips and glance back over your shoulder at the room in question.
“Give me a minute?”
Jungkook nods despite not knowing what you’re thinking and sits on the edge of the bed once you leave the room.
When you return, you have a roll of parchment paper, tape, scissors, and a couple other miscellaneous household items. You hurry into the en-suite before Jungkook can question you and close the door behind you, but he still hears the various noises coming from inside.
You emerge about ten minutes later with a prideful grin and steal his hand to bring him into the bathroom with you. Jungkook’s just about to object in case he accidentally catches sight of himself, but the realization of what you did stops him in his tracks.
The massive mirrors which hang above the double sinks are completely covered by multiple layers of parchment paper and taped down around the entire perimeter so they won’t budge. Best of all, there’s a small note in the bottom corner that reads “I love you” followed by an adorable smiley face.
“I’ll take care of the other bathrooms save for one tomorrow,” you state.
Jungkook can barely hear you because he's too focused on what you’ve done for him. His eyes flicker back and forth across the mirrors as if it’ll all disappear if he looks away. But it won’t, because you’ll make sure it doesn’t until the moment he’s ready to meet his reflection again.
Tears flood his eyes and cause him to sniffle the longer he admires your work. When you hear the sound, you look at him in concern.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” Jungkook mumbles between hiccups. “I just don’t deserve you.”
Your expression melts into one of nothing but love as you reach out to push his hair back.
“You can say that all you want, baby, but it’ll never make it true.”
He shakes his head. For what, he isn’t sure. Perhaps because he disagrees with your statement or maybe he’s just in complete disbelief over how truly wonderful you are.
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
You simply shrug with a soft, gorgeous smile.
“There’s no need.”
The two of you proceed to complete your nightly routines side by side. Other than when you head to a different bathroom so you can see what you’re doing while you wash your face and apply products.
Jungkook finishes first and decides to change clothes prior to you returning. It just feels like the right move, all things considered. Thankfully, he’s spent enough time here to know where Jaehyun keeps his things, such as pajamas.
He’s already in bed by the time you come back and you affectionately grin over how cute he looks snuggled up beneath the sheets.
“Comfy?”
The question encourages Jungkook to run his fingers along the edge of the blankets. They’re much softer than the ones back at his apartment. Which certainly tracks considering Jaehyun made well over six figures and Jungkook doesn’t even budget a salary for himself among the expenses for the bar.
“Yeah.”
His meek reply produces a wave of sadness on your face, but you don’t comment on it and head straight towards your closet to find something for bed. When you return, you’re holding your pajamas. Jungkook quickly realizes what that means and looks down to avoid seeing you change.
He knows he can’t do so forever, but he really doesn’t want tonight to be the first time he sees you naked after being helplessly in love with you for fifteen years.
The mattress dips as you climb in beside him and Jungkook glances up again now that he knows the coast is clear. You make yourself comfortable by sliding beneath the sheets and lying on your side so you’re facing him. He quickly mirrors you, leaving you two only a couple inches apart in the large bed.
“Is it a stupid question to ask how you’re doing?” He shakes his head. “Alright. How are you doing?”
Despite everything, including that he’s doing absolutely terrible, he can’t help but faintly smile at you.
“Honestly?”
“Mmhm.”
After a deep sigh, Jungkook’s hand finds your own under the blanket so he can lace your fingers together.
“I don’t know how I would’ve survived without you,” he confesses.
You squeeze his hand and he swears it’s like someone removing a one hundred pound weight from his back.
“And that’s exactly how we’re gonna get through this,” you claim. “You just lean on me and I’ll see that you make it out safely.”
Jungkook genuinely doesn’t know how much more his heart can take. You’re an angel amongst humans, and he feels woefully unprepared to experience being loved by you.
“I’m kinda heavy, we might need to take a lot of breaks,” Jungkook teases.
The beautiful, melodic laugh he adores so much passes through your lips and prompts him to join in.
“That’s alright. No matter how long it takes, I’ll carry you the whole way.”
More tears prick the corners of Jungkook’s eyes, but you reach out to stop them in their tracks before he can do so himself.
“You’re… you’re the best thing to ever happen to me, Y/N,” he cries.
It’s true. Even though you’ve only ever had a platonic relationship before tonight, he can’t imagine his life without you.
“Me, too,” you whisper while caressing his cheek. “I love you, Jaehyun.”
Jungkook forces his eyes shut while willing himself not to cry anymore, but it's difficult to combat the raging whirlpool of emotions coursing through him. One being the profound sadness of hearing you say Jaehyun’s name. His twin who’s currently lying on a cold, steel slab at a funeral home across town. But that’s the precise reason he’s doing this, because you love Jaehyun, and Jungkook loves you. Enough to throw his whole life away just so you’ll never know the pain of losing the person you love.
On the flip side, there’s also the guilt slowly eating away at him. Even though his motives are benign, it doesn’t change him lying in bed with his brother’s wife on the evening of his death.
The worst part is Jungkook never wanted this. No matter how much he loves you, he never once wished you would be with him instead of Jaehyun. You two were a match made in heaven, and Jungkook’s devotion to you both vastly outweighed his desire. Hence his determination to make sure your love lives on.
But now he’s left with no choice but to end his fifteen years of yearning, with this being the defining moment.
For the first time, whether you’re aware it’s him or not, he’s able to tell you he loves you. He’s uttered the infamous phrase to you a million times over the years, but only platonically. Tonight he’s allowed to mean it.
“I love you,” he declares, clear and simple; without an ounce of hesitation. Except once his adoration’s finally out in the open, suddenly it’s all Jungkook wants to say. “I love you, Y/N.” Entirely on instinct, he closes the gap between you by grabbing your waist and tugging you into him. “I love you.” Your arms circle his neck as your body naturally molds to the shape of his own. “I love you.” His opposite hand rises to push your hair back and cradle your jaw. “I love you.” He doesn’t know who moves first, but your foreheads meet in the middle, causing your noses to brush. “Y/N, I love you.”
You’re crying again and he doesn’t realize he is too until your hand slides up his cheek to wipe away the fresh tears. He returns the favor, but it’s useless against the endless raindrops falling from your eyes.
“I thought I was gonna lose you today,” you confess. “None of the doctors or nurses would tell us anything. But the news was reporting multiple people dead at the scene.” You hiccup. “And I was so fucking terrified, Jae.”
Jungkook shakes his head while soothingly running his thumb back and forth along your cheekbone.
“I’ll never let that happen. I’m not going anywhere.”
“But I… I still lost him.” Even through the tears, you manage a small, nostalgic smile. “My Kookie.”
He hasn’t heard you refer to him like that since your wedding and it's just as heart stopping as the first time.
“No,” he disagrees. “Jungkook will always be with us. Him and I were one soul in two bodies. Now we’re just together in this one.”
The irony is so potent he can practically taste it.
“Then will you give him a message for me?”
His eyebrows rise, not expecting your response in the slightest, but he still nods.
Both your eyes and hand drop to his chest where you trace along the stripes on his shirt. Jungkook can’t tell if you’re simply thinking about what you want to say or are hesitant to vocalize it.
“Kookie,” you softly exhale. “I’m really thankful you protected the person we both love most today.” A belated tear escapes from your waterline. “But I’m also really fucking angry at you for leaving us.”
It takes Jungkook a minute to process your declaration because his brain’s just one, big, jumbled mess of both him and Jaehyun. Once he manages to, he clears his throat and captures your gaze again.
“Message received,” he tells you with a smile.
“Thank you.”
“Anytime, baby.”
Surprisingly, Jungkook’s actually able to fall asleep. He imagines it’s because you remain in his arms all night and your comforting smell, warmth, and touch are enough to keep him in a deep slumber.
Waking up in a world without Jaehyun for the first time is bizarre, to say the least. Especially considering the moment his eyes open, he’s thrust right back into his brother’s life.
The scent of sweets is wafting through the house as he rises from bed and twists until his feet meet the floor. He rubs the sleep from his eyes and stretches his body that’s still sore from yesterday before glancing around the room.
Everywhere he looks are pieces of Jaehyun, but rather than being a reminder of the horrors he faced yesterday, they soothe his scattered mind. Similar to what he told you last night, being in this room makes him feel like his brother’s still here with him.
After gathering his bearings and changing into something comfortable to wear for the day, he goes downstairs to find you.
As always, you’re standing in the kitchen sipping from a mug and flipping through a recipe book. He spots you before you notice him because the house’s open concept allows him to see the lower level before reaching the final step. He uses it to his advantage, giving himself a second to admire you uninterrupted.
“Morning, sweetheart,” he greets you while stepping down onto the first floor.
You glance up at the sound and your entire face glows with adoration. Jungkook doesn’t know if he’ll ever get used to that. You’re almost too radiant to look at head on.
“Hi, honey,” you coo.
The mug clinks on the countertop when you set it down and round the corner to reach him. As soon as you do, you slide your arms around his waist and place your ear to his chest. Jungkook hopes you can’t hear the jackrabbiting tempo of his heart; something your husband of five years shouldn’t have.
Jungkook wraps his limbs around your neck in return, letting them lay limp on your shoulders while he bends down to kiss the top of your head.
“Did you sleep well?”
He feels you nod against his sternum and a smile immediately spreads across his face. You gaze up afterwards, taking a step back at the same time so you don’t have to crane your neck.
“How are you doing?”
“I feel… weird,” he admits. “I don’t really know how to describe it.”
“That’s alright,” you assure him. “I’ll still do my best to understand, okay?” His grin grows as he acknowledges your pledge with a nod. “The bathroom mirrors are all covered now except for the half bath near the guest room. But I put a sign on the door so you don’t forget.”
“Thank you so much.”
“It’s the least I can do.” You turn on your heel to return to the kitchen while Jungkook follows like a lost puppy. Not only because this isn’t his normal morning routine, but because he just wants to be near you. “I made all your favorites for breakfast.”
With a gesture at the dining room table, you show off the massive spread of both savory and sweet dishes. Honestly, Jungkook can’t believe what’s seeing. He’s always known you to be a doting, giving wife, but Jaehyun had it fucking made.
“Baby, I don’t even know what to say.” His feet carry him to your side while his eyes keep surveying all the different foods. “You didn’t have to do all this.”
One of your hands gently tugs on his chin to turn his face back to you.
“I know. I wanted to do this because I love you. Simple as that.”
“I love you,” he whispers, almost like an automatic, involuntary response.
“Then will you please eat all the yummy food I made for you?”
He chuckles and nods before sitting at the table and beginning to dig in. A couple minutes later, you return with two mugs and set one down in front of him. His eyes grow with curiosity as he leans over to check the contents, but his face falters upon realizing what it is.
Hot chocolate with mini marshmallows. His brother’s favorite.
Jungkook loves hot chocolate, too, but he hates when marshmallows are included. He swears they ruin the flavor and turn the entire drink into a lumpy mess.
But Jungkook’s dead for all intents and purposes, so marshmallows it is for the rest of his life.
“Thanks, sweetheart.”
You hum in acknowledgment prior to turning around so you can grab something else. It’s a good thing because after Jungkook takes his first sip, he gags and lays his tongue out to try getting rid of the taste.
“So, I talked to your mom this morning and she said we’re welcome to come over whenever we’re ready to start working through all the logistics,” you explain while strolling in from the kitchen.
After coming back once again, you sit down in the seat next to him.
“Do you think we can go to the funeral home today? I promised Jungkook I wouldn’t leave him alone for too long.”
“Well, he might not be ready for visitors yet. If you know what I mean?”
He really wishes he didn’t. The thought of his brother getting pumped with chemicals to slow the decaying of his body makes him sick to his stomach.
“Right. Do you think they’ll tell us once he is?”
“We can always call and ask,” you suggest.
Jungkook hums before you both continue eating your breakfast in a comfortable silence.
Following the meal, Jungkook asks you to help him look more presentable since he can’t use a mirror to do so himself. You’ve both already showered and gotten dressed, so all that’s left is to fix his hair and swap out the bandage on his cheek.
You ask him to sit on the edge of the bed while you grab a hairbrush and the first aid kit. He waits patiently as instructed and once you come back, you stand between his open legs and place the items beside him on the mattress.
The first task you attempt is changing his bandage, which you begin by delicately removing the current one. Jungkook hisses when the tape pulls at his skin, but the pain is brief.
Afterwards, he admires your face of determination as you clean the cut with an alcohol pad. He expects you to apply some ointment and the new bandage next, but instead you just stare at the small, red mark with a thoughtful expression.
“What is it?” He inquires.
You click your tongue and shake your head like you’re still debating on the answer yourself.
“Nothing. It's just… what are the odds you walk away with only a single injury and it happens to be in the exact spot your brother’s scar was?”
Jungkook’s heart drops, but he soon realizes you aren’t accusing him of anything and are simply pointing out the coincidence.
“I noticed that, too,” he responds. “I guess the universe just wanted to ensure I have a reminder every time I look in the mirror.” A hollow, dark chuckle escapes him. “As if my identical fucking face isn’t enough.”
“Oh, but it’s such a nice face.” Your fingers trail down his chin so you can tilt his head up. “So handsome god had to make two of them.”
His responding laugh is instantaneous and bright. He even squeezes his eyes shut as both rows of teeth make an appearance. It prompts you to parrot the sound while lovingly caressing his jaw.
Once the delightful energy simmers, he ensnares your waist to pull you close and bury his face in your stomach. His hands glide up and down your back as he holds you and you reciprocate by carding your fingers through his hair.
“Thank you. I needed that.”
“Always, baby,” you reply with a kiss to his crown.
You finish with the injury and brush his freshly washed hair before heading to his parents’ place about thirty minutes away. Jungkook drives, claiming the control of being behind the wheel will help with the anxiety of stepping into a vehicle only a day after a life altering accident.
When you two arrive, your hand immediately finds his as you stroll towards the entrance together. He always saw the same thing happen with you and Jaehyun, but he never realized just how instinctual it is. Even though it’s been less than a day, he has an insatiable urge to touch you at all times.
His mom meets you both at the door and everyone exchanges warm hugs before entering the house. It seems his folks had an early morning because there's already photo albums and legal paperwork strewn all over the kitchen table.
“Alright,” his mom announces. “We’ve got a long to-do list, but we also need to make sure we’re checking in on each other. Yes?” You and Jungkook nod in sync. “So, funeral and burial comes first. We need to choose the date and time, casket, and headstone. Along with writing the obituary and sorting through photos. Afterwards, we need to discuss logistics regarding the apartment, the bar, his motorcycle, etc.”
“If you can’t tell, your mother’s coping by running this house like a drill sergeant,” his dad pipes up from behind her.
The lighthearted humor at the time like this is precisely what everyone needs and allows for the air to feel a little less suffocating.
“I can start on the photos while you all focus on the burial arrangements,” you offer.
“And I’m going to take care of the obituary,” his dad adds.
Jungkook’s teeth sink into his lower lip as he observes the table’s contents representing everything that still has to be done. It’s overwhelming enough learning how to survive alone after thirty one years of being a pair, but now there’s a laundry list of other tasks, too.
“That sounds… good,” he whispers.
You comfortingly squeeze his hand and it leads him to glance over at you. You’re wearing a sweet, supportive smile and you also lift your eyebrows to silently ask if he’s alright. After he nods, you tug on his arm to pull you closer together.
“Jae, sweetie,” his mom grabs his attention. “Can you run upstairs and grab the 2001 photo album? It’s the only one missing.”
“Yeah, sure.”
He lets go of your hand at the same time you step into the kitchen to begin sorting photos. It doesn’t really phase him to walk up the large staircase in his home, but once he reaches the top, his heart drops.
Him and Jaehyun’s rooms are directly across from another at the top of the steps, with a small landing separating them. Neither twin has changed the layout or decor since moving out, so they’re still perfectly preserved time capsules of their youth.
He ventures into his own room first by gently pressing on the door until it swings open. It seems smaller than when he was young, but everything is identical otherwise. His feet carry him around the perimeter a couple times as he runs his hands along the furniture, trophies, books, and collectibles throughout the room.
This is it, he supposes. Everything that makes him, him, will be buried along with his brother because he’ll never be Jungkook again in this lifetime. It makes his grief even more daunting and convoluted because while he’s mourning Jaehyun, a piece of him is also mourning himself.
His fist taps the desk a few times as he inhales and lets the air gradually exit through his lips.
“Goodbye, Jungkook.” A tiny smirk appears. “It’s been fun.”
While walking backwards, he admires the bedroom a little longer before closing the door.
His next stop is Jaehyun’s bedroom and he has to take in another large gulp of oxygen just to prepare himself. With a push, he opens the door the same as he did his own room and crosses the threshold into the familiar space.
He doesn’t recall the last time he was in here, but his memories with Jaehyun are present all around him.
Brief flashes and mirages of their time growing up together play on the walls and across the different pieces of furniture. Like the time they tried to pull an all-nighter at the ripe age of eight only to crash at four in the morning with a pile of candy and soda bottles between them. Or when they were chasing each other around at age eleven and ended up breaking the bed frame by jumping on the mattress too hard. And another one from when they were fourteen and play-wrestling on the floor until one of them accidentally kicked the dresser and shattered a lamp.
They were rambunctious, devious, and fun-loving throughout their entire lives, up until their final moments together.
Most of all, Jungkook remembers lying on his twin’s bed the night Jaehyun told him about you. It’s strange to think how different the last fifteen years would’ve been if that had never occurred. You’re such an integral part of their lives and as his mind replays the memory, he can’t help but smile.
It isn’t for long, though, because the more images he sees, the harder he finds it to breathe. Soon enough, he feels the familiar prick of tears and his bottom lip begins to tremble.
His eyes flicker to the mattress and suddenly all he sees is Jaehyun lying still in a hospital bed.
Jungkook whimpers aloud while trying to stop the influx of emotions before they get the better of him, but it's useless, and he ends up on his knees just like yesterday.
He pushes his forehead into the sheets as harsh, erratic sobs surge through his body. His hands clutch the comforter like a vice grip, anything to provide some sort of stability.
“Please,” he gasps. “Please come back to me.” His chest is shaking so much the words are barely audible. “I don’t wanna do this without you, Jae. I can’t be somewhere you don’t exist.”
It’s uncertain how long Jungkook weeps into his twin’s old blankets, but by the time his body relaxes, he’s got a headache, a sore throat, and his eyes are swollen.
He’s in a weakened, almost trance when he returns to the first floor with the photo album. It lands on the kitchen table with a loud thump and causes both you and his mom to jump because you didn’t hear him enter.
When you notice his current state, your eyes widen.
“Jae?” You call while standing up.
The sudden sensation of your hand on his shoulder grounds him to reality and he slowly blinks back to normal before meeting your concerned gaze.
“I’m okay,” he quietly assures you as his hand rises to cradle your cheek.
You automatically relax into his touch, letting your head rest against his palm.
“Are you sure?”
A hint of a smile spreads across his lips.
“As long as I have you,” he whispers so only you hear it.
Afterwards, his head dips so he can place a light kiss on your forehead.
The doorbell rings, surprising everyone and pulling all your attention to the entrance.
“Who could that be?” His dad ponders from the couch.
“Shit, that must be Jennie,” you answer.
“Jennie?” Jungkook squeaks in shock.
His odd reaction earns him a quick, questioning glance from you, but you thankfully don’t pry any further.
“Yeah. I told her yesterday if she has any photos she wants to include she can bring them here.” You squeeze Jungkook’s bicep before heading for the door. “I’ll go greet her.”
Jungkook’s only thought is that you cannot let her into this house. Jennie, of all people, is the one person who always sees right through him. Not only that, but he won’t be able to keep it together. The guilt of knowing what he’s putting her through is far too expansive.
Spurred on by anxiety, Jungkook follows you to the entrance, but slips into the foyer nearby so he can witness your conversation without being seen.
Once the door opens, you smile and wave your arm to usher Jennie inside before giving her a long hug.
“How are you doing?” You ask her.
Jennie tries to send you a reassuring smile, but it looks more like a tight-lipped frown.
“Oh, you know,” she faintly chuckles. “I’ve been better.”
You grimace and reach out to hold her hand.
“Can I help at all? I mean, with anything.”
“No, no. I just have to… survive my own subconscious.”
“Well, do you wanna come in?”
“Oh, no,” she objects while offering you the shoebox tucked beneath her arm. “I just came to give you these. Please don’t feel obligated to use them. I won’t be offended.”
“Of course, we will, Jen.” You open it enough to peek inside and whatever photos are in there, they make you grin. “You’re Jungkook’s best friend. You deserve to be included.”
Jennie graciously nods.
“It’s just so strange, you know? One moment he’s here and the next…”
“Yeah,” you concur.
“And now I’m just playing back the last time I saw him over and over again and trying not to regret every little thing.”
“What do you have to regret?”
“I don’t know, honestly. Probably nothing, right? But that doesn’t stop me from agonizing over it.” She sighs and sniffles while using her coat sleeve to wipe her eyes. “I just thought we’d have more time. I thought I would hear his voice again, or his laugh. See those huge fucking eyes of his go wide because he got excited.”
You both break out into a fit of giggles and Jungkook’s suddenly smiling from ear to ear. Not necessarily because of your conversation, but the vision of his girls looking so happy together. Even if it’s only fleeting.
“God, he was such an enigma. Wasn’t he? Like he owns a dive bar, exclusively wears all black, and drives a motorcycle, but also owns multiple pairs of Iron Man socks and has a pink toiletry bag.”
“Oh, don’t forget the adorable little keychains he used to hang from his backpack in college,” Jennie adds.
The two of you laugh again before you gesture towards the interior of the house.
“Are you sure you don’t wanna come in?”
Jennie thoughtfully nibbles on her lower lip for a moment, but inevitably shakes her head.
“No, I, uh, I don’t think I can handle seeing Jaehyun right now,” she confesses. “Not because of anything to do with him, of course. I just have no idea how I’ll react to seeing someone who looks just like Jungkook.”
You nod understandably.
“No worries.”
She sends you a warm smile that you mirror before giving one another a goodbye hug.
Jungkook’s beyond thankful she didn’t want to come in because watching from the shadows is one thing, but actually interacting with Jennie would’ve been next to impossible.
He watches you wave until the door shuts and then makes himself known by stepping into the main hallway. You jump a little when you spot him and Jungkook tosses his hands up in surrender.
“Sorry, sweetheart, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just curious to see how she’s doing for myself,” he explains.
“Gosh, warn a woman first. Will you?”
Despite your retort, you’re smiling as he closes the gap between you.
“I can help you go through photos, if you want,” he offers.
“No need, baby. I’ve got it handled. Besides, you need to help decide on everything.”
Jungkook clicks his tongue and grimaces.
“Right. Except that’s kinda what I was trying to avoid.”
“I know,” you giggle. “You really think I don’t see through all your little tricks by now?”
Well, there’s definitely one I know you can’t see through.
“I just…” He sighs. “Deciding on this stuff makes it real and I don’t want that. I don’t wanna pick out a casket because he shouldn’t be in a casket in the first place. He shouldn’t have a headstone or an obituary... all of this is just fucking wrong.”
Clearly the anger stage of grief is beginning to set in because his hands clench into fists while he talks.
“It is.” Your bottom lip gets caught between your teeth as you debate on your next statement. “But if he were to need a casket or a headstone, he deserves the best ones. Doesn’t he?”
Jungkook shakes his head with his eyes glued to the floor.
“He deserves to be alive.”
After eliminating the space between your bodies, you cup his face with both hands and force him to meet your gaze.
“You’re right. But if the universe won’t give him that, then this is the next best thing we can do for him,” you claim.
To this day it still shocks Jungkook every time you’re able to make everything feel okay again without even trying. Whether through words, touch, a smile, or merely your presence, you have a magical way of calming him down and allowing him to breathe freely.
“Yeah,” he whispers.
“Yeah?”
Jungkook nods and paints a grin onto his face.
You two rejoin his parents in the kitchen and everyone gets to work on their respective tasks. When his dad finishes the obituary, he reads it out loud for a second opinion. Once that’s done, he helps Jungkook and his mom choose the most important details of the day.
By the time the sun dips beneath the clouds, you’re all mentally drained and decide to call it a day. The funeral won’t be for another week, anyway, so there’s still time. Most of the issues yet to be tackled are what happens with the bar and Jungkook’s possessions, but thankfully, he’s here to help make those decisions himself.
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The morning of the funeral arrives faster than anyone can wrap their head around. It’s been non-stop planning and sorting through photos or paperwork for a straight week, but it was honestly a great distraction.
Now it’s time to face the music and say the final goodbye no one’s looking forward to.
It’s different for Jungkook compared to everyone else. Not only because it’s his twin who died, but because he’s the only one aware the person they’re eulogizing is Jaehyun. Ironically, after days of discussing his own funeral, a part of him almost forgot he isn’t the one getting buried six feet under.
Especially because he’s been living in Jaehyun’s skin at home with you for a full seven days and each one is easier than the last. Loving you is effortless, as it always has been, and it’s also the only reason he made it through.
A couple hours before the funeral, you’re combing gel through his hair with your fingers since Jungkook still doesn’t have the courage to look in the mirror. His eyes map your visage while you work as his hands rest loosely on your hips. He keeps rhythmically tapping the sliver of skin beneath your top, making you smirk each time.
“I wish you could see yourself,” you note. “You’re so stupidly handsome it makes me sick.”
He chuckles.
“Maybe later today. I think getting over this hurdle will help a lot,” he muses.
“I hope so.”
“What about you? I feel like we’ve been so busy we haven’t even had time to check in with each other.”
You nod in agreement at the same time you step back to survey his finished hair.
“I’ve, uh, been pretty much burying my feelings and saving them all for today,” you confess.
“Baby —”
“I know, okay? But if I’d actually allowed myself to feel everything, I never would’ve survived the week.” Jungkook steals your hand to soothingly run his thumb across your knuckles while you gather your thoughts. “I just miss him so fucking much,” you whimper.
There are tears lying in wait in your eyes, but none fall just yet.
“Me, too,” Jungkook sighs.
“Every time I think something won’t remind me of him, it somehow does. My recipe book, the color black, rainy days… fucking bunnies.” The two of you share a dry laugh. “It’s like he’s everywhere but here.”
As Jungkook watches the immense grief contort your features, an idea sparks in his mind.
“Close your eyes,” he quietly instructs.
“What?”
“Just trust me.”
Following a questioning glance, you take a deep breath and do as he asks.
“Do you remember what I said? About us both being in this body with me?” After a tentative nod, Jungkook rests your hand over his heart. “Just picture Kook, yeah? Not me. Right in front of you.”
“Oh… okay,” you breathe.
He admires you for a moment before slowly inhaling.
“You feel that heartbeat?”
“Mmhm.”
Jungkook squeezes your hand.
“That’s me. I’m right here, Cupcake. I’ll always be here. I promise.”
A single beat passes before a gut wrenching sob forces you forward until you crash into him, throwing your arms around his neck while you soak his shirt in pure sadness.
“Jungkook,” you cry, almost too softly to hear.
He doesn’t think you’re saying his name as a response to his words, but more like your voice is joining your eyes in releasing all the pent up emotions.
His own limbs cradle you to his chest as one hand holds the back of your head and the other travels up and down your spine.
“Shh, it’s alright,” he whispers with his lips pressed to your temple. “Just let it all out, okay? You don’t have to be strong for anyone.”
Neither of you know how long you stay like that; tangled together while you weep in his arms. It’s not as though Jungkook minds. He’ll hold you forever if that’s what’ll heal your heart.
Once you do part, he assures you he can do that whenever and however often you want or need. Ironically, you respond by asking him how it felt to call you Cupcake, since Jaehyun never uses that nickname.
Immediate family all come to the funeral home an hour early for a private farewell before everyone else arrives. It’s unanimously agreed that you and Jungkook will go last, right after his parents. So you two wait in a quiet, cozy room for your turn.
His parents emerge following their time looking rightfully sorrowful and you both instantly hold your breath in anxious anticipation. Jungkook isn’t sure who does it first, but you also squeeze one another’s hands as a source of comfort at the exact same moment.
“Are you sure you want me to come with you? I’m more than happy to give you some alone time,” Jungkook asks.
You shake your head, your eyes locked on the door to the private room.
“I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it by myself.”
“Alright.” He reaches out to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear, causing you to glance his way for the first time. “It’ll be okay. I promise.”
After a hesitant nod, you and Jungkook stand up together and enter the room hand in hand.
Once the door shuts, you turn into a statue with wide, petrified eyes. Unlike Jungkook, who obviously saw his brother at the hospital and again earlier this week when he came with his parents to speak with the funeral director, you’ve yet to see him.
Jaehyun, that is. Not that you’re aware.
Your breathing’s shaky and so are the fingers threaded between Jungkook’s. He wishes he could do something, anything to make things easier for you, but this is an obstacle you have to overcome on your own.
“Does he look like himself?”
“Mmhm. You can’t even tell he was in an accident.”
This isn’t the first dead body you’ve seen. He knows because he and Jaehyun accompanied you to both your grandparents’ funerals growing up. Alas, he understands there's no comparison to a situation such as this.
You surprise him by taking a single step forward, enough to see Jaehyun’s silhouette.
“I’ll, uh, go up by myself and let you know if I need you. Is that okay?”
Jungkook nods.
“Of course.”
In all honesty, he’s nervous, too, because he knows it’ll be almost impossible to see you hurting without being able to stop it.
His hand remains intertwined with your own until you’re too far away to keep holding on. Upon reaching the casket, the sound you produce is a cross between a gasp and a tormented whimper. Your fingers latch onto the edge like it’ll somehow ease the pain, but you both know it won’t.
“Oh, Kookie,” you cry as your head dips to rest on the wood.
Loud sobs begin to rattle your chest and it takes all of Jungkook’s strength not to move to comfort you. It also unexpectedly gives him pause.
For the first time since he took his brother’s place, watching you cry over Jaehyun’s body makes him wonder if it was the right choice. Throughout the week, everything you, him, and his parents spoke about was only theoretical. Planning his funeral, choosing a casket, and designing a headstone were all just ideas he could wrap his head around.
But now you’re in front of the man you’ve loved since you were fifteen and you have no idea. You’re heartbroken and grieving, but your tears are being used for the wrong person. It feels sinister for Jungkook to be standing behind you while you weep over him when Jaehyun’s lying inches away from you.
On the flip side, the sound of you choking on air and whining like you’re physically injured reaffirms his decision. If this is your reaction to Jungkook’s death, he can’t even fathom what it would be if you knew the truth.
You look up after a little while, once your sobs become quiet whimpers. It seems like you’re admiring Jaehyun, which Jungkook hopes means you’re steadily starting to cope.
After inhaling to catch your breath, you reach up so you can fix a couple pieces of displaced hair on his forehead.
“Do you remember when we met?” You ask while grasping one of his hands. “You were so surprised I immediately noticed you weren’t Jaehyun. It was the first time I got to see that adorable, shocked face you make. You know the one where your eyes look like they’ll pop right out of your head?” You chuckle. “I couldn’t believe how different you and Jae were. I mean, Jae’s always been like water to me; soothing, calm. So I expected you to be somewhat similar, but you were all fire, Kookie. Not a roaring, uncontrollable flame, but a hearth. You were comforting, warm, and made every room you entered brighter.” You thoughtfully sigh before clicking your tongue. “And I know you were flirting with me that day. Which, when I think about it, is actually pretty sweet considering you were doing reconnaissance for Jae. It was a test, right? Because if I flirted back, then clearly I wasn’t the right woman for your brother.” Your head falls forward as you scoff. “I don’t even know where I’m fucking going with this. I just… I guess what I’m trying to say is every moment with you meant something to me, Jungkook. Every second we spent together was special and I’ll never forget a single one. Not for as long as I live.” A sudden, harsh cry leaves your lips. “I love you,” you wail. “Jungkook, I love you so much, and I’m not ready to say goodbye. If you could just… just call me Cupcake one more time, then everything would be okay. Please, Kookie, I just need to hear you say it one last time. Or see that shocked expression or your good food face. I mean, who’s going to eat the extra desserts I make if you aren't there?” You press your forehead to your conjoined hands. “I’ll still do it, anyway,” you softly announce. “I’ll bake half a dozen more than every recipe calls for even though you won’t be there to eat them. Because whether or not you are, they were always meant for you and you alone.”
You lift your head again and spend a second taking some deep breaths to calm yourself before leaning over to give him a gentle forehead kiss. Then you return his hand to its previous position on his stomach and slowly back away.
When you turn around, you find Jungkook in the same spot you left him. Except he’s covering his mouth to quiet his brutal cries. His eyes are also squeezed shut as salty tears cascade down his cheeks.
“Honey?”
He makes a noise of acknowledgement while shaking his head, which he hopes you interpret correctly as him being okay. To be fair, he isn’t even close to alright, but he doesn’t want you to know that.
Your words cut through him like a knife, leaving him feeling torn to shreds and raw. He’s loved you so fiercely for so long, and although it isn’t romantic, your love for him is clearly just as reverent. You’ve told him what he means to you countless times, but this was something so profound his heart couldn’t handle the weight of it.
“Jaehyun,” you call while moving closer so you can pull his hand away and cradle his face instead. “Talk to me.”
“I…” Jungkook’s still crying, but he tries to focus on explaining. “That was so beautiful, Y/N. I just wish we could all stay together like we were meant to; for the rest of our lives.”
Your fingers lightly graze his cheeks to wipe away any tears.
“It’s like you said, we will be. Just maybe not how we originally hoped.” He nods and sends you his best attempt at a smile. “I’ll go so you can talk to him in private?”
“Yeah. Thank you.”
You dismiss his gratitude with a head shake before exiting out the door behind him.
With only him inside the room, the energy’s completely different. Not only because he’s alone with his brother, but because he’s the only person saying goodbye to Jaehyun today instead of Jungkook. The truth leaves a heavier aura in the atmosphere than with the previous visitors.
He walks towards the casket with much more ease than you, given this is his second encounter with Jaehyun since the accident. He’s also always comfortable being around his twin no matter the circumstances, agony and grief be damned.
Jungkook believes it’s partially due to their deep, inherent bond, but also because he views the situation like he told you before. He’s carrying both their souls inside his body now, which makes living as Jaehyun that much easier.
Of course, Jungkook knows it’s not literal, and that he’s only playing pretend with you and everyone else. But if it helps him and his loved ones cope, is it so wrong?
“Hey, Jae,” he greets his brother. “Look, I know letting Y/N express her feelings for me just now instead of you was fucked up. I understand doing any of this is morally abhorrent, invasive, and a complete betrayal of trust. I get all of that and I’m so fucking sorry. But I don’t know what else to do.” He shakes his head with a scoff. “The world needs you in it, not me. I know people will miss me, but it isn’t the same. I own a dive bar while you run a company that spreads innovative technology all across the globe. Our family company, as a matter of fact, which without you would have no connection to us anymore. I’ve never had a single serious relationship, but you have the most amazing, loving wife in existence. I mean, this is the only thing that makes sense to me, Jae.” Following a long sigh, he rests a hand on top of his brother’s. “You have every right to be angry with me and if you wanna kick my ass as soon as I join you up there, by all means. I just hope you know I’m not doing this because of my feelings for Y/N. I do love her and I always have, but I was content going my whole life without ever having her like that. You’re the only one who deserves her and that’s why I have to keep you alive.”
He pauses to squeeze Jaehyun’s hand while his eyes map every aspect of his face. Even though it’s identical to his own, he wants to remember everything about his brother down to the most minute detail.
This is the last time he’ll ever see him besides the mirror and that thought alone constricts his airway. Per usual, tears well up in his eyes before he even begins his final farewell.
“Jae, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do to turn back the clock so I could be the one who saw the crash coming. If it were possible, I would literally trade places with you and hop inside this casket right now. The funeral staff can bury me alive for all I care. I’d let the semi-truck hit me at full speed exactly as I stand if it meant bringing you back. But none of that’s possible and that means… it means this is goodbye.” His voice breaks over the last word as his cries grow louder and more forceful. “There isn’t a single second of the day when I won’t think of you. There isn’t a sunrise or starry night I’ll witness and not see you in. You weren’t just my other half. Hell, you weren’t even just my best friend. You were the most amazing person to ever walk this earth. Maybe that’s why this happened… because you were just too good to live among the rest of us.” He has to stop again so he can catch his breath, but it’s still practically useless. “I can’t thank you enough for being the best brother in the world. You didn’t have to be and yet you always made sure you were. And I hope I was able to reciprocate even a fraction of that throughout our time together.” Before continuing, he readjusts his grip so he’s holding his twin’s hand. “I love you so fucking much, Jaehyun. I’ll miss you everyday for the rest of my life, but I promise no one else will have to bear that weight but me.” His head drops to plant a kiss on Jaehyun’s knuckles. “I’ll see you on the other side, okay? Save me a seat.”
After letting his heart, mind, and body relax by focusing on his breathing and drying his face with his sleeve, he returns Jaehyun’s hand to his stomach.
He walks backwards across the room so he can see him until the very last second before pausing in front of the exit.
“Goodbye, brother.”
With a final glance, he steps out of the room and shuts his eyes until he hears the soft click of the lock. That mundane, simple sound means his twin is truly gone. In a few minutes the funeral director will close his casket and that’s all Jungkook will see of Jaehyun until he’s buried underground.
Although this week was a test run, his new life as Jeon Jaehyun officially begins now.
As if the universe is confirming his thoughts, the first thing he sees upon opening his eyes again is you standing by the entrance with some family members. He approaches without a word, allowing his hand on your lower back to alert you of his presence.
You jump a little when you feel his fingers on your spine and look over your shoulder to investigate. When you realize it’s him, your eyes grow wide and you spin around to give him your full attention.
“How are you doing?”
Jungkook smiles just a hair and nods.
“I’m okay, baby.” Your eyebrows rise in suspicion, so he reaches out to smooth the fresh crease on your forehead. “I mean it.”
It looks like you still don’t believe him when you begin pouting, but Jungkook ignores the expression and takes your hand so you can stand side by side to greet everyone.
The funeral is a gauntlet, to say the least, but it’s also a beautiful service and more people than Jungkook can even comprehend show up. It’s certainly bizarre being eulogized and mourned all day long, but it also helps trick his brain into playing the correct role.
Jennie comes, of course, but thankfully still seems apprehensive about being around him and they only exchange brief pleasantries while she offers her condolences. He hopes one day they can form some type of relationship, even if it’ll never be what it was when he was himself.
His parents both give wonderful eulogies that bring everyone to tears, and the two speeches conclude the funeral on a heartfelt, bittersweet note.
By the time the burial’s over, Jungkook’s beyond exhausted and all he wants is to be home with you in your nice, cozy bed. You must feel the same because you fall asleep on his shoulder while his parents drive you back to the house.
Upon arriving, Jungkook kisses your head and whispers your name to wake you. Your eyes gradually blink open, but you’re still half asleep when you glance over at him.
“C’mon, baby. We’re home,” he informs you.
“Oh,” you drowsily chirp. “That was quick.”
Jungkook chuckles.
“Yeah, you would think that if you slept the entire time.”
You shoot him an overdramatic glare as you two slide out of the car and wave goodbye to his parents.
He leads you by the hand to the house before opening the door and gesturing for you to enter first. You two immediately begin your nightly routines, with you moseying into the only bathroom with an uncovered mirror to remove your makeup.
Jungkook’s yet to allow himself to see you without clothes on, although you’ve seen him shirtless a few times. He figured you won’t notice him not being around while you get undressed, but it’d be strange for you to go multiple days in a row without seeing him.
Tonight he’s too tired to even think about it, hence him getting his first ever glimpse of you naked after you return from the bathroom.
While he’s busy unbuttoning his shirt, you stroll in behind him and unzip your dress before letting it pool on the floor at your feet. Jungkook’s too focused on his own task to notice, so when he turns around and sees you in only your underwear, it stops him in his tracks.
His fingers stall with a couple buttons still left, his eyes fly open into even bigger saucer’s than normal, and his mouth becomes a desert.
Obviously, you notice the reaction, because Jaehyun’s seen you naked thousands of times over the years. This shouldn’t be anything new for him.
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
It takes Jungkook’s brain a moment to kickstart back to life, but he eventually snaps out of the hypnosis.
“I, uh, so — sorry,” he stutters. “I think it’s just been a long day.”
“You don’t have to apologize,” you counter. “It just looked like you’ve never seen a woman before for a second there.”
He laughs while his hands finish undoing his shirt.
“That’s because sometimes I forget how fucking breathtaking you are.”
A pretty, pink blush appears on your cheeks that nearly halts Jungkook’s heart.
“You wanna remind yourself?” His blood immediately runs cold and you must see him go stiff because you elaborate a moment later. “I didn’t… I am not implying we should have sex on the day of your brother’s funeral, I just meant —”
“It’s alright, sweetheart,” he assures you. After a brief silence, Jungkook realizes he doesn’t have the willpower to reject your offer. Besides, if this is supposed to be forever, he’s going to need to familiarize himself with your body at some point. “C’mere.”
You close the gap in an instant, leaving Jungkook holding his breath. But despite his mind going haywire over finally witnessing the sight he’s longed for since he was a teenager, he rests his hands on your hips.
That simple touch produces a massive sigh of relief, as though his fingers belong on you and are celebrating being home. His eyes follow the movement as he slowly caresses your waist and ribs, traveling up your body at a snail's pace so he can appreciate the skin he’s never had the honor of feeling before.
He skips your breast for now, letting his hands land on your shoulders before sliding them up and down your arms. You hum in content and even close your eyes when he traces along your collarbones and neck. Upon realizing how much you enjoy the sensation, he repeats the motion and applies more pressure to soothe any aches or pains.
The blissful smile on your lips almost distracts Jungkook from the fact he’s actually touching you. He’s dreamed about this more times than he can count and it’s even more exquisite than in his imagination. Eventually, his eyes drop from your face to your breasts and he holds his breath again while trailing his fingers down until he’s able to cup them in his hands.
“Oh,” you softly moan as your head tips back.
Your reaction’s a good thing, otherwise you’d notice Jungkook’s eyes practically bulging out of his head while he bites his lip to refrain from making any noise himself.
He stares like he’s in a trance at how your skin moves beneath his fingers while he massages and squeezes your tits. They’re just as perfect as he always assumed; round, plump, and so damn soft.
Your whole body’s a masterpiece. Even without being as thin or smooth as you were when you were younger, with stretch marks, scars, and extra skin you wish would disappear. None of it changes how perfect every curve and line is.
“You are…” He can’t help but let out a disbelieving laugh. “So insanely beautiful.”
His compliment makes you giggle as your eyes open again.
“You having fun? Some boobie therapy just what the doctor ordered?”
Jungkook loses it, throwing his head back with a loud laugh that vibrates his sternum.
“And if they prescribed me some for everyday use, would you indulge that request?”
“Mmm, you might have to pay a pretty hefty copay, but I think it could be arranged.”
If his heart could beat any louder, it would sound like a drum. You light up every situation no matter how dark and Jungkook truly can’t imagine surviving a single day without you.
“I love you,” he professes.
A stunning smile appears before him.
“And I love you.”
He wants to kiss you more than he’s ever wanted something in his life, but neither of you are wearing enough clothes to even attempt it. So, he drops his hands before passing you your pajamas on the bed.
“Thank you. Sometimes all I need is to just feel you.”
“Anytime,” you reply with a wink.
While you throw on your favorite nighttime set, Jungkook ventures into the bathroom to finish getting ready for bed.
The brown parchment paper covering the mirrors is staring at him while he brushes his teeth and although it was previously comforting, it seems to be taunting him tonight.
His brother’s buried and he’s already said goodbye, and he certainly can’t avoid his own face forever.
Without giving his brain time to convince him out of it, he pulls at the tape on the bottom corner where your note is. He gently tugs until there’s enough to rip the section off so he can keep it. Once the small square’s safe in a drawer, he throws caution to the wind and rips the rest off in one swoop.
Despite finding the courage to remove your handiwork, his eyes remain closed rather than facing himself right away. After what feels like an eternity, he inhales and counts down from ten. Then he exhales and opens his eyes.
Jungkook doesn’t really know what he was expecting, but the person in the mirror is just… him. The only discernable difference is his hair’s pushed back how Jaehyun wore it and his fresh cut’s on display since it’s healed enough to not need a bandage.
He finds himself twisting and turning in front of the glass like perhaps the man will move separately, but that never happens.
“Alright,” he whispers to himself while maintaining eye contact with the man in the mirror. “Hi, Jae.”
It isn’t nearly as terrifying as he predicted. That’s not to say his heart doesn’t hurt seeing his reflection, but he isn’t running away or hiding like he worried he would.
“Honey,” you muse from behind the door.
Jungkook’s about to answer when a burst of light shines in as you appear in the doorway. You gasp upon noticing the parchment paper is gone, but once you realize it was intentional, your eyes expectantly flicker towards Jungkook.
“I did it!” He cheers.
You giggle with a proud smile.
“You did it!” The accomplishment clearly means a lot to you because you throw your hands above your head like your favorite team just scored a goal. “How do you feel?”
“Like I’m looking in the mirror, surprisingly enough,” he quips.
An affectionate eye roll serves as your initial reply while you step closer to him.
“Well, I’m very proud of you.”
“Thank you, baby. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
You shrug your shoulders with an adorable grin that makes Jungkook wanna squish your cheeks and never let go.
“Now, c’mon. Your baby’s tired,” you complain before snatching his hand.
Jungkook follows you without another word, but then a thought appears in his head he just can’t shake. It spawned earlier and he managed to resist, but you’re both clothed now besides his open shirt. It might still be difficult refraining from taking things too far, but he’s willing to risk it.
He’s wanted to kiss you since the moment he walked into your classroom in high school and he doesn’t believe he has the wherewithal to hold back anymore.
“Y/N,” he calls to stop you.
You hum in acknowledgment and start to turn around, but Jungkook surges forward before you even fully face him.
His hands grasp either side of your head and sink into your hair at the same time his lips smash into your own. The unexpected action causes you to squeak as your fingers wrap around his wrists to steady yourself. But kissing your husband is commonplace and you quickly synchronize your mouth with Jungkook’s.
Meanwhile, Jungkook has to work off pure muscle memory because his brain’s screaming and running around like someone set it on fire. He can’t even begin to comprehend that he’s finally kissing you after all these years, something he never thought he’d have a chance to do.
Your lips taste and feel exactly how he always pictured; soft, moist, warm, and sweet like the treats you bake. He moves his mouth with utmost intention, but also achingly slow so he can memorize every sensation. Despite the pace, the kiss is desperate and passionate as his fingers cradle your scalp like you might disappear.
“Jae,” you gasp between smooches, but Jungkook doesn’t let up for a second.
In fact, he uses his grip to crane your neck so he can continue devouring you. His tongue slips in between your teeth and you moan as the muscle circles your mouth. You don’t even utilize your own to fight back, instead letting him conquer you entirely.
“I fucking love you,” he whispers before twisting his head in the opposite direction and repeating the same motions.
Hearing such a proclamation mid-makeout has you giggling, but you manage to keep up with his fervor. But then the sound elicits a smile from Jungkook as well, and suddenly the steamy kiss turns clunky when your teeth clash and lips miss their targets.
Jungkook stops following a deep, content sigh, but leaves his forehead against your own while catching his breath.
“Took you long enough,” you tease.
A joyful grin overtakes his face.
“I’m sorry for neglecting you, baby. I assure you it’ll never happen again.”
“It’s alright if it does, as long as you kiss me like that after.”
Rather than responding, he steals another smooch before you both step back.
There’s clearly been a shift with the funeral behind him, just as he hoped. In contrast to merely oscillating around you at a safe distance, he’s standing chest to chest with you now.
This is the life he chose the moment he said his brother's name instead of his own and there’s no point in holding back when he’s already jumped off the deep end. That’s doesn’t mean he’s going to make love to you tomorrow or act perfectly comfortable in Jaehyun’s skin right away, but the sooner he believes his own lie, the easier everything else becomes.
Omg I actually started crying!!!! I can’t wait to read more! I don’t think I’ve read anything like this before! Great writing! I can’t wait to read more!
I’ve been wanting to see a fic based around something similar to the ‘Swim’ music video since it came out. Did I find any?…not much, so I’m getting back in the field and doing it myself. Let me know if you guys would read!
*and leave me some recommendations in the comments 👀