[little-orkideh]

“Conversations with good intentions, exchanges that feel like cardio sessions for the soul, dialogue directed in growth that lead you back to yourself, words wrapped in vulnerability and soaked in honesty, conversations like this.”

— iambrillyant

[shortcakegerbera]

i only have 1 dream and even if i’m still young, it’s too late for me to live that dream and it’s too late for me to do something about it.

bidding goodbye to my dream. i’m giving up on you now. i’ll do my best to live and be genuinely grateful for everything and everyone that i have now. i have no idea if i can but i will try.

13 June 2022

[shortcakegerbera]

oh wow that was devastating

[shortcakegerbera]

i dont need someone to talk to i just need to die it will solve all of my problems

[shortcakegerbera]

it’s june and i can move on from the scholarship that i didn’t even pass the first stage. i’m sad as fuck

[shortcakegerbera]

i didnt get it……..

[shortcakegerbera]

i check my email every single morning and now its already end of may

[shortcakegerbera]

wanna be someone worthy to someone like you

[shortcakegerbera]

when i say that i dont have any good qualities, i really mean it. even my grandma wont recommend me to anyone because i don’t have the basic skill to be a human. i am truly a disqualified human. i want to die

[shortcakegerbera]

3 weeks of no reply from the embassy.. i can slowly give up now

[shortcakegerbera]

im not even a cosmos flower

[shortcakegerbera]

i guess im not ready yet

[shortcakegerbera]

still…… no…. email again today………….

[shortcakegerbera]

God.. please.. i dont want to live in this house anymore

[shortcakegerbera]

its been 2 weeks and i havent got any reply from embassy :/

[shortcakegerbera]

i have done so many self reflections and i’ve reached to a conclusion that i am born to be a human that simply do not deserve reciprocation. i am just simply a disqualified human.

[shortcakegerbera]

is it already the time or it is not the time yet