Nyappy~! @shotapopkupkake - Tumblr Blog

Okay but I just want everyone to understand

the best thing about Ilvermorny being in Massachusetts is that this brings up a bunch of stupid fucking Massachusetts headcanons about wizardry:

-Professors with disgusting Boston accents

-The platform for Ilvermorny HAS to be at North station

-enchanted MBTA commuter rail

-the division between NY and Mass wizards going deeper than house rivalry

-the Red Sox curse being ACTUAL dark magic

-confirmed wand fights over Sox vs Yankees and Patriots vs literally everyone not from new England

-a Dunkin Donuts suspiciously close to the school that is always looking for workers because people are terrified of working the nightshift there.

-Magical Dunkin Donuts

-There’s an underground passage at the school (a la Whomping Willow and One Eyed Witch) that exits at the old Harvard station.

-On the train ride to Ilvermorny, students like to fire off spells. The stray magic wreaks havoc on cars between the station and the school, making them nearly impossible to drive and making the drivers seem exceedingly reckless. MASSHOLES EXPLAINED

-The real reason the Pumpkinfest riots happened at Keane State was because Ilvermorny wizards decided to crash and cast some drunk spells without realizing the consequences, once something caught fire, people rioted. Student wizards are not well liked in New Hampshire

-There’s a reason why Boston is “the hub of the universe”: wizarding folk powerful in astrology and divination gather there for readings more accurate and powerful than anywhere else.

-There was a gang of dark wizard students, who caused an unbelievable amount of mayhem and panic one day. The local magical authorities realized it would be almost impossible to totally wipe the memory from everyone’s minds. One wizard joked, saying that they’re going to come up with some ridiculous excuse like a family of ducks trying to walk through the city.

PLEASE ADD MORE SHITTY NEW ENGLAND HEADCANONS

giant mermaid

i couldn’t decide which one i liked better so i chose both

#allura #voltron

skylocked-deactivated20200515

Voltron dance au Keef~

#keith kogane

cosmoanimato

Moana

#moana

sepulchritude

on the topic of humans being the intergalactic “hold my beer” species: imagine an alien stepping onto a human starship and seeing a space roomba™ with a knife duct taped onto it, just wandering around the ship

it doesn’t have any special intelligence. it’s just a normal space roomba. there are other space roombas on the ship and they don’t have knives. it’s just this one. knife space roomba has full clearance to every room in the ship. occasionally crew members will be talking and then suddenly swear and clutch their ankle. knife space roomba putters off, leaving them to their mild stab wounds.

“what is the point?” asks the alien as another crew member casually steps over the knife-wielding robot. “is it to test your speed and agility?”

“no it doesn’t really go that fast,” replies the captain.

“does it teach you to stay ever-vigilant?”

“I mean I guess so but that’s more of a side effect.”

“does it weed out the weak? does it protect you from invaders? do repeated stabbings let your species heal more quickly in the future?”

“it doesn’t stab very hard, it gets us more than it gets our enemies, and no, but that sounds cool — someone write that down.”

“but then what is its purpose?”

“I don’t know,” the captain says, leaning down to give the space roomba an affectionate pat. “it just seemed cool”

aethersea

this is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard but I thought about it for five seconds and realized that if I were, say, a random communications officer onboard this ship and someone taped a knife to a roomba it would take maybe three weeks before even I was inordinately fond of Stabby. I would be proud of Stabby when I met up with my other spacefleet friends for space coffee, I would tell them about the time Stabby got the second mate in the ankle five seconds before the fleet admiral beamed on board and she swore in seven different languages in front of high command.

also by the fourth day Stabby would be in the ship’s log, he’d have little painted-on insignia, people would salute him as he went by, and someone would hook up a twitter account to tweet maniacal laughter and/or a truly terrible knock-knock joke every time he managed to nick someone.

prof-grace-aspen

Having been in the navy and been on a ship I can 100% assure you this would absolutely happen. One of the navy’s ships used to have a goat on it - and I mean THE MODERN FUCKING 2000′S NAVY OF THE UNITED STATES. A GOAT. I think they finally had to get rid of him because it counted as “importing” him illegally to other countries.

On my ship, some kid sent us a beanie baby in a care box. People fought over it. We named it. We stuck it up in a high place in our workshop. The next care box came, and there were more beanie babies, so we stuck those up high too next to the first one. We had a small army of half a dozen beanie babies before our chief told us it was ridiculous and we needed to get rid of them, so then we just hid them all around the shop.

#story time

littlepinkbeast

concept: an ordinary dude living with a bunch of cute monster girls, but instead of a harem show it’s basically The Young Ones. carmilla where did you get that trebuchet. found it.

like the vampire keeps bringing home dates and leaving them around half drained for her housemates to take to the ER and her excuse is that she doesn’t have a drivers license because cars hadn’t been invented yet when she got vamped.

the werewolf girl keeps getting noise violations for awoo’ing at the moon

the naga girl has a stair-climbing exercise machine. no one else is entirely sure whether this is a joke or not.

the ordinary dude is actually popular and successful and has a bunch of friends outside the group, he just lives there because the rent is super cheap and at least he’s never bored.