Grammar Pirate

come scream with me about fictional characters

[kairennart]

Portraits commissioned by Doberler for her fanfic The Passions of Pendragons

[andy-nekonata]

Remember: April is Procrastination Awareness Month.

[ooo-silly-worms]

Pottery sounds terrifying to me. Every post I see is like "Here's this awesome art I made!! Pray for me that it survives The Kiln™ :')" I don't think I could cope with making art that could quite easily blow up and I have no way of controlling that. You guys are true heroes.

[claypigeonpottery]

@bazanite you are so correct

[teh-nos]

this fic is so good i hope i write it

[rhaenyratargeryen]

We go together.

DAISY RIDLEY as REY, JOHN BOYEGA as FINN, OSCAR ISAAC as POE DAMERON in STAR WARS: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER (2019)

[palehorsemen]

Some more illustrations to Dance of the phoenix and Wulin Heroes. Pictures to some new dramas (Zhan Zhao, Splendid match, Ashes to the crown etc) and some old ones are coming, but need to scan a couple more to get a full post :)

[whetstonefires]

You know, judging by how fast Wen Qing caved on Wen Ning's showing up in Yiling with wwx and jc, even though she was real mad about it, I bet he has been doing this to her for years.

Probably started by bringing her injured animals to doctor on as a kid. Later on, not necessarily a lot later, he started dragging in bullied disciples to patch up and hide from Wen Xu or somebody, and then probably he'd just kind of...fold a lot of them into his canonical personal retinue of loyal subordinates, however that worked exactly.

Wet kitten Wen Ning constantly dragging smaller wetter kittens back to his big sister to protect. She has tried all the arguments already. She knows there's no budging him.

Also lmaoooo hang on, Wen Ning had Wen Qing outnumbered a lot of the time, didn't he. She didn't have personal minions she could trust like that. These people just extracted a high-status prisoner from the custody of an erratic and violent superior pursuing a personal grudge without blinking, for their Wen-gongzi.

Wen Ning's ability to get up to shenanigans due to all the pathetic life-forms she'd allowed him to accumulate must have dawned on her with belated horror.

[whetstonefires]

@falsegrailwar was like #please. please read op's tags oh my god

and i was like hmmn what did i say??

#they were supposed to watch his back! #and keep him busy! #and take a sword for him if the opportunity arose probably; wen ning wouldn't want that but wen qing would

#these unnamed subordinates with no lines are rapidly becoming my favorite mdzs supporting cast #like what did they think about the plot #wen ning got pressganged by jin zixun in the company of his subordinates #so some of them probably lasted all the way to the Siege

#there might have been a guy who personally carried jiang cheng out of the charnel house of lotus pier #or retrieved his parents' bodies from the corpse heap #and roughly four to ten years later#watched jiang cheng come to kill him #and had his corpse dumped in the blood pool #and knew for a fact that jiang wanyin did not even know he existed and wouldn't care if he did

#it all goes in circles and some of us get ground up in the gears

i can see why i left that out of the main post but yeah. i stand by these tags a;sldjsdfkl;

[sunderwight]

#this is one of the reasons i really like fics that go#'hm we could do a big war to depose a tyrant oooor#'we could do a coup? current ruling family blows but look! a niece and nephew who hate their uncle and just want to do medicine!'#i'm sure there are reasons why this wouldn't work but hey#wen ning would make an excellent sect heir! he wins people over so well! (tags by @spookymirrorsprite)

Wen Sect Leader Wen Ning lives rent free in my mind. Saves everyone from Wen Ruohan. Frees Wen Qing up to do her medical research to her little mad scientist heart's content. Makes Wen Yuan his heir. Depending on where it falls in the timeline, he can two-birds-one-stone reconciliation with the Jiang sect and getting rid of his own rivals by handing the likes of Wen Chao to them, or just prevent a bunch of tragedies altogether. Time traveling fix-it fic Wen Ning going hmm I wonder if I still have some corpse powers and then punching through his uncle's ribcage to test it.

Seems he does!

[whetstonefires]

....man, time travel Wen Ning murdering Wen Ruohan with his bare hands and seizing power would be such a twist from everyone else's perspective.

like. you could not tell he was the kind of guy who would quietly and unapologetically rescue his sect's enemies out of moral conviction, but he was. people contain multitudes. so same way, in this scenario the political world is rocked by this mediocre, sweet-tempered, unassuming teenage Wen cousin purging the upper ranks of his family and usurping the sect by force.

Wen Qing's reputation before the war (at least the part Wei Wuxian bothered to recall) notably consisted of one part 'medical genius' and one part 'only normal person in the Wen leadership.' Wen Ning turning out to be the most insane murderer in his family would be accepted as narratively coherent, despite being a shocking twist.

bets would be on about whether he and Wen Qing would go on to kill each other off. i feel like they'd lose a lot of vassal sects and guest disciples on account of the sect doesn't seem as stable or powerful suddenly.

diplomatic relations would not normalize for a while, unless he managed to do this during the war so all the other sects felt it was a favor to them, because killing family members for power tends to be frowned upon. nie mingjue in particular i think would be of the opinion that Sect Leader Wen Qionglin was a mad dog.

i feel like Jin Zixun would suddenly be getting a lot of side-eye in case he had similar ambitions lmao.

[sunderwight]

#the implications of his having corpse powers in his normal body intrigue me#in that this suggests something wwx did fundamentally altered his soul#which cannot have been the intent#also he was in fact a cultivator so i wonder how his body is going to handle having normal cultivation#and whatever resentment-based nonsense he brought back with him#many interesting plot threads from wn doing this insane thing!#not a boring fixit concept lol (@whetstonefires)

The tension in the long term of Nie Mingjue and most of the rest of the cultivation world holding their breath to see what other horrible things Wen Ning would do in the name of ambition, while Wen Ning mostly just doesn't do any of them would be great, I must say.

[aiden-morse]

“If you love cooking with garlic, you know it does a lot of good in recipes by helping build flavor — but its strong odor can linger for hours, especially on our hands. We’ve all been in the situation where after preparing a wonderful meal, we’re left with the stench of garlic on our fingers — yuck! There are a few tricks people often recommend to eliminate the smell: lemon juice or vinegar, rubbing your hands with salt, or even using toothpaste! But those don’t work — all they do is mask the garlic smell. So what does really work? Stainless steel.”

[deeptalkswithmonica]

cooking with garlic? jerk off your sink

[bucketofdeltav]

STRONGLY recommend jerking off a stainless steel spoon or just getting one of those gimmicky stainless steel ‘soap’ bars rather than using your expensive and hard to replace plumbing hardware - the stainless steel does get the stinky sulfur compounds off your hands, yes, but they have to go somewhere, and where they go is onto the steel. And stainless steel is not actually corrosion proof if you keep putting sulfur compounds on it frequently long term!

- local friendly chemist with considerable experience in What Things Can Eat What Grades of Stainless Steel (for spacecraft purposes mainly; don’t rub copper chloride on your taps either).

[theunfairfolk]

in elementary school i figured out how to customize the classroom desktop's autocorrect to make Word change whole sentences. this made it appear almost like the computer was responding to you. you could, for example, type in "where did i put my keys", hit enter, and watch it switch to "you put them under the couch". this was before chatbots, and we were all 9 so i considered it closer to a magic trick than a tech one.

i immediately scripted out a dialogue exchange between me and a girl who had died by the swings (classic). i invited another student over and told them i had found a ghost, then proceeded to type out the pre-scripted exchange. i was immediately pulled into the counselors office. the kicker was that none of the adults could figure out how i did it. i had to show them the menu and everything.

[theunfairfolk]

important detail i forgot to add: the swing ghost wanted blood sacrifices from the students. in my defense it was "only a few drops".

[soolmaz2001]

[forestfright]

no more light

[boybeetles]

I think this is the funniest 404 error page I’ve seen

“I hope you’re hungry… for nothing!” Give me my stuffed marshmallows you freak

[velvetcloak]

PSA

Open the Instagram app, go to your Profile and tap the three-lined Menu button in the top-right corner. Go to Sharing and Reuse and navigate to the section called Allow people to reuse your content on Instagram and with AI features at Meta. Here, disable the Posts and Reels feature.

[link]

[hightide-error]

the poster that this incredible illustration is based on is extremely striking. but while searching for it, I also found earlier posters for conveying this message along with a corresponding one for summer, and I fucking love them. absolutely lovely graphic design work. (both are from 1924, artist is Austin Cooper)

the one I was looking for originally also has a summer variant. (artist is Frederick Charles Herrick: 'it is warmer below' is from 1927, 'it is cooler below' is 1926)

[wigglybunfish]

in which murderbot is a very normal terracotta soldier and ART the dragon spirit of a chinese junk who dwells in the ship's keel. they meet in the ming dynasty perhaps, when ppl are sailing places extra willy-nilly.

*Nüwa is the mother goddess in chinese mythology, known for creating humanity from yellow clay and repairing the sky.

thank you @mutualrapport for hosting the event! original prompt below.

[drawn for the prompt: an AU of ART and MB's first meeting and conversation - e.g. another look at their first meeting from a fantasy, historical, or (non-canon) sci-fi lens! Any perspective is fine. The only constraint is that it cannot be set in the canon universe. Any visibly non-canon AU- fantasy, human, historical, etc. - anything goes!]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Hey so that was a great date, yeah, but I don't think it's going to work out. Nono you didn't do anything wrong, and I have indeed had a crush on you since we started high school, it's just... well, I didn't want to bring it up at the time but we kinda got sucked into a portal fantasy midway through. We saved the kingdom over and over, relying on our knowledge of and trust in each other every time, throwing ourselves into the firing line to protect each other and using each others' conviction as a rock. We got married and lived a happy life together until the portal sucked us back mid-battle and you gave up all your memories of our journey in order to save my life right when we ended up back in the coffee shop. Yeah that was when I got a bit weird and went to the bathroom.

Anyway I thought we could push on and make the date work but I have all of these memories of secrets that this you never chose to share, decisions that this you never made, and intimacies that this you never experienced. And it's kind of screwing with the vibe yeah. Also on the date it was really, blatantly clear that you're sixteen whereas I have memories of ruling a fantasy kingdom for thirty years so like... that's a problem all on its own. Anyway this you just feels more like a daughter to me. A daughter with the woman I gave my heart and soul to over and over and received like in return, only to lose her forever on the journey home. On the plus side I can definitely help you with your math homework now.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#what the fuck#this one was actually really very short why is it still like that what

The shorter it is, the more concentrated the what the fuck can be.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I can help you with your math homework because the fantasy world's magic system was based on calculus and I was a gifted mage, stop nitpicking.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#this world's magic system is also based in calculus

[taraxippos]

I think this is the single funniest artfight rule. Like....I guess?

[taraxippos]

[taraxippos]

WHO DID THIS

[taraxippos]

Rockwith Aleaf

[singularscissor]

thought these parts of the profile were also funny