Things I’ve said taken out of context {Sentence Starters}
— tw for death themes
“Death would be more merciful.”
“His head looks like a bowling ball.”
“Is that my pizza? Is that MY pizza?”
“Are you coming for my pun crown?”
“I regret both everything and nothing.”
“Poke me again and I’m gonna bite you.”
“My body can suck it up for two minutes.”
“The skeleton in me is crying for freedom.”
“My feet are crying, but my brain is happy.”
“Where do I sign up for swimming with sharks?”
“What’s he gonna do, nibble your chin to death?”
“I would die, but you know what? It’d be worth it.”
“I know I’ll regret this later, but future me can deal.”
“Would they ban me if I SCUBA’d in the shark tunnel?”
“I’ll do it, yeah, but I’m gonna complain the whole time.”
“Another bizarre google search for my browser history…”
“There are worse thing in life than growing a second nose.”
“Thank you, I needed a funky beat for my moment of terror.”
“I wouldn’t mind living in a haunted house. You’d never be lonely.”
“My stomach just made that sound and I don’t know what the heck — ?“
“Can you call NASA and ask their rates on launching people into the sun?”
“No, I wasn’t mauled by a bear. My cat just didn’t want her tummy rubbed.”
“Hey, I’m not saying I believe they’re real, I’m just saying the thought is nice.”
“I got a good night’s sleep, sure. — That’s a lie. I got two hours. But, that’s… decent.”
“I pity the person who gets stuck doing my autopsy, ‘cause lord knows it’s gonna be weird.”
“I love her. She’s a jerk, and she’s a glutton, and she wakes me up at 3am for snuggles… but I love her.”
“Can you just imagine if they made that noise? You lean down to pet them and ‘ WHOooOO SCREEE’!“
titsay
blakekathryn
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sugurugetos
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ellievsbear
