I have a sinking feeling about Qifrey and where his story is headed. [EDIT 5/28: NOT PERMANENTLY!!!!! I THINK HE WILL HAVE A HAPPY ENDING!!]
MASSIVE spoilers and maybe slightly long-winded theorizing below the cut.
I believe quite certainly that Qifrey intends to reveal the complete truth to Olruggio very soon, and that while he seems to be accepting his fate, he is trying to maintain as much control over the terms of what he believes to be his inevitable end as possible.
Following the events of Chapter 88, after he reveals his nature as a Silverwood host to Coco, he asks to postpone his complete confession, wishing to be able to reveal the truth elsewhere, in a peaceful place beneath a wide open sky where his roots would have room to comfortably grow. He has described the land around the atelier in this way many times before.
Later, when the entire group is finally reunited and Olruggio tells Qifrey they’re going home. Qifrey’s expression looks pained for a moment, before he answers, “Alright then. Let's go home. Our atelier awaits."
His verbal recognition of the atelier as his home is a rather glaring signal that he is beginning to accept his imminent end and has chosen the atelier as his ideal final resting place. This is hinted at early on in a sequence during which Beldaruit spoke to Riliphin of the Silverwoods, and implied that he knew of Qifrey’s condition as he privately worried that his beginning to think of the atelier as his home could be dangerous for him.
At a point during their journey home, we return to the group to find the girls all asleep, while Qifrey has distanced himself from the rest, sitting on the bank of a lake to write in his book. Olruggio joins him and points out how far he’s sitting from the fire.
I think this was probably intentional in an effort to be closer to the lake to keep himself anxious, since it is my personal theory that here, Qifrey is actually writing a letter to Olruggio in which he tells him the entire truth, and that the narration through the next arc is comprised of excerpts from that letter. The lake is intended to be a failsafe of sorts, since of course, we know that vocalizing the truth to Olly is Qifrey’s greatest comfort trigger, while water touching his skin is his biggest anxiety trigger. Given this, it makes sense for him to choose this particular spot to begin to release the truth so he has a means of keeping the Silverwood at bay readily available should he need it, which he evidently does later on.
In the segments that follow, Qifrey reminisces on how he and Olruggio crossed paths at the Great Hall and became close.
Through the end of chapter 91, we watch the story unfold neutrally as though it is happening in real time, with no narration, but in chapter 92, something shifts. As soon as Qifrey’s recount reaches the part of the story that would have been lost to Olruggio’s memory, a past-tense narrator voice begins to cut in, and suddenly, it becomes clear this story is being told to someone, not merely recalled, and not just to anyone, but to Olruggio by Qifrey. This is the strongest evidence that what we’re reading is actually the contents of a letter to Olruggio.
All of this indicates to me that Qifrey is not just reminiscing, but is actively preparing for the end. The telling of the story, the physical and emotional distance Qifrey has put between himself and the others, and his now repeated framing of the atelier as both home and the kind of place where he would want to be forever, are all supportive of that.
As far as we know, Qifrey hasn’t been the one to initiate a full confession since they were kids at the Tower of Tomes. Spilling his guts in a letter written under duress is probably a new tactic, and it’s a smart one, as it ensures Qifrey can get the complete truth out on his terms without the usual interruption from the Silvertree, and if the others read it without him around, then he also doesn't have to worry about the potential for harming them with his transformation.
Him wanting to be away from his loved ones when he changes is what has me especially worried for him now, because Olruggio and the girls just left the atelier, leaving Qifrey there by himself. Maybe I'm projecting (probably), but the thought of Qifrey leaving a note before seeking out a means to essentially kill himself while they're split up makes my stomach hurt. Painfully though, it does feel in character, especially now that he's vocalized his trust in his students, particularly Coco, to carry on his mission. Olruggio, please go home now, your husband is an active danger to himself!!
Fortunately, Hiehart and Jujy pay the atelier a visit, but even upon greeting them, he does already seem on edge and uncharacteristically down. He's clearly having a hard time. I think he WANTS to live, but he's also teetering on the edge of thinking he doesn't get to live anymore.
Hopefully, whatever Hiehart has to say will get Qifrey out of his head and convince him to keep living for a little while longer. I'm guessing he's going to ask Qifrey to take on Jujy as his apprentice. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
Anyways. To conclude, here is Qifrey’s directed narration/possible excerpts from a letter to Olruggio compiled:
Every day I turned my gaze away from the encroaching dread, and for as long as I was in the dark, I was happy. I greeted each morning with excitement, for with the rise of the sun came another adventure with you. I thought if I could retrieve the past I lost, my joy would be as genuine as yours, and perhaps I would have a real chance to share in your happiness. A child can dream. Like ordinary boys, we would share our visions of tomorrow with each other and we would laugh at how far away it all seemed.
Little did I know that felicity came with forgetting. It was a bliss born of ignorance. If I knew what I was… If I knew that I was never meant to be saved, I would've stayed far away from you, the sky’s kindest, most radiant star.
I once read an old poem that likened stars to boats sailing through the sky. But as far as I know, boats don’t twinkle like stars. The light doesn’t come from the vessel itself, but its guiding torch. Like your pyreball, it burns at the bow. A beacon of light in the dark.
After that fateful day, you would uncover my secret again and again. Each time you would respond with disbelief. Then your face would twist and turn in anguish. And after biting back a few words, you would show me grace, and comfort me and forgive me for lying to you. And then, without fail, the Silverwood’s roots would grow. You would offer me the same path back every time, and I would take it, adding to my mess of sins.
I had often considered leaving your side. I thought that perhaps traveling alone would save me from taking away your memories. But even that minute solace was enough for the Silverwood. I knew then that distance would do nothing but break my promise to you.
So I had another thought: A master never wants for worry with apprentices to look after. The selfishness behind my reason for taking on pupils made me ill, but they’d never have to know that. So I decided to put every fiber of my being toward becoming a good educator. If only I had known then what a joy it truly is to watch your students grow with each passing day.
It’s somewhat rare for a Silverwood to take root in people. Unlike animals, they tend to hold onto too much anxiety. Which is why the tree planted in Custus that gave him his legs raises some questions. My right eye was the only one to sprout during the experiments. It must have some connection to the Silverwood in Custas. For so long, I thought I was the only host, but now I'm not so sure. There could be more victims out there than I ever imagined.
Did I make the right choice?
Would it have been better to throw everything aside and hunt down the brimmed caps?
Doubts like these turn in my head, but the moment I see my atelier, I remember.
This is where my heart is. This is where I want to be.
--
[EDIT 5/28: just to be clear, i do not think qifrey's story will END with him as a tree. i am praying for dear life that it will culminate in something hopeful. i DO however think it's imminent that he will fully transform at some point, especially since they have explicitly established that it doesn't matter how far they've progressed, the process can still be reversed if their peace is taken away again. i think a significant part of coco's arc will include saving qifrey before she saves her mom, and think that her journey to the tower of tomes will ultimately result in her learning more about qifrey rather than finding the picture book. you can see more of my theory about her trip to the tower here]
A masterpost on Togashi’s gay subtext and why it’s intentional.
Hi ! After seeing so many posts about Togashi dropping subtext about Killua’s possible romantic feelings for Gon, I thought it’d be a good idea to make a sort of “masterpost” with all the subtext that Togashi has included into his work.
I usually see a lot of people trying to say that HxH isn’t about romance and that Togashi isn’t interested in writing romance into the manga, but when you analyze all the subtext that’s been going on the further Gon and Killua’s relationship progresses, I think it’s incorrect to say that Togashi has never hinted at the possibility of romance in HxH.
This is going to be a long post, enjoy your read!
Also, please note that I will only base this analysis on the manga, so there can be no mistake that “maybe this is just something the anime made gayer” : i want to prove that the subtext is 100% intentional on Togashi’s part.
I’d also like to mention, although I will analyze it further after listing the subtext, that Togashi is a VERY smart man. There are always little details in the story and/or foreshadowing that are easily missed at first but when you notice them, it truly makes you understand how much attention and care Togashi puts into his work. There are countless details and symbolism that are analyzed daily through wonderful meta posts, from the main 4′s birthdays and their link to their character or the religious symbolism in Kurapika’s story arc…. Togashi loves to foreshadow and plant little details into his work, so when Togashi plants subtext, I’m sure he 100% knows that he’s writing it, and it can’t be seen as unintentional.
I’ll also link all my references for this post at the end of it, so feel free to read all the additional textposts and content if you want to know more.
Well, let’s get into it!
EDIT : i can’t believe this post is still being used as a reference it makes me so happy… thank you so much !!! i edited this to tweak it a bit because i wrote this a while ago and the phrasing seemed off to me, so if you’re reading or re-reading this post, hi, welcome to masterpost on gay subtext 2.0 !
Ask and you shall receive! Here are the scans of all the Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun Tarot Cards! Please do not repost or remove credit. While I scanned these from the set I own, all images belong to Izumi Tsubaki and Square Enix. Support Tsubaki-sensei by purchasing this set here or here.
The point about Shane isn't that you're fixing him, it's that he finds a reason to fix himself.
You aren't the one replacing his beer cans with joja cola, that's Shane.
You aren't the one that's using the money he has from quiting beer to buy his goddaughter shoes, that's Shane.
It's not you or Marnie or Jas fixing him, it's Shane realizing that he can be loved, and having a reason to better himself.
and that's okay. People can get better with support and friends. Just because a person gets better when someone helps doesn't mean that they're fixing them. It means that they're recognizing the problem and fixing it themselves.
please consider how much of a cryptid the farmer is in stardew valley
like
-[stares into space for three hours, completely motionless while waiting for their favorite person to open the door so they can shove a gift in their hands and then immediately runs off]
-they enter the mines. they are knocked unconscious. they enter the mines once more. they are knocked unconscious. harvey begs them to stop. they enter the mines o
-appears from the fukcign...void in the middle of conversations, says one thing, RETURNS TO THE VOID AND REFUSES TO ELABORATE FURTHER
- the farmer has been fishing for 12 straight hours. they eat a fistful of tulips. they continue fishing.
-people don't question why one person needs so much void mayonnaise. they also have stopped noticing when the farmer climbs into the sewer.
-it is your birthday. a farmer kicks open the door at 9 am, hands you an entire chocolate cake, and leaves. you are overjoyed. you do not understand.
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