(tw:suicide mention) Often, I read about suicidal thoughts of others on tumblr or on skype. When I was younger, I had those too, but that time is over now. Why did I stop thinking about suicide? I want to tell it to you in some text. Please remember that this text could possibly offend or insult you, so if you´re a pretty unhinged or easily triggered person, it would be better for you not to read it. Also, please remember that this is my opinion and not a scientifical analysis of the human mind.
To understand my point of view, it's probably important for you to know my situation: I'm 16, about to get my first certificate with that I will continue my education. I live in a small german town with both of my parents.
Reason 1: My enviroment
I have my family, I have some friends. What would happen to them if I´d commit suicide? As far as I can tell, some people would be sad and a lot of people would be shoked. My mother would probably fall into a depression, why she would never see it comming and would think that she is a bad mother and so on. My classmates and friends would be pretty shoked, as far as I can tell. Maybe some of the people mentioned above would cry and would be sad. I would'nt want to bring anyone willingly into such a state.
Reason 2: Wasted lifetime
If killed myself now, I would waste a lot of time. Over 50 years. What could happen in those 50 years? The worst thing I can think about: homeless, maybe. Or dead. Is it better to be dead than a homeless guy? In my opinion: no. But what could happend instead? A homeless life is just one of these chances. I'm not /that/ lazy. Maybe if I study hard ebough I could get a well paid job and an own pool. If I were to kill myself right now, I would waste all those opportunities.
Reason 3: The Insult
There are a lot of people out there who know that they won't get 30 or 40. I don't know how it feels like to know that you're going to die early. I don't know how it feels like to be really sick or to have a bad disease, but in my opinion it would be an insult to them. Some people can't live their life like they want. But I can. (If you don't understand what I'm meaning with this, think about voting: some people would love to vote but arent allowed to. In our country, people have the right to vote, but still, only about 50 percent votes.)
That was my opinion.
Cheers, Valkein
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