The Rolling Girl is Lost Inside Ruins

♪ one more time, one more time ♪♪ "again, i am going to rolljust one more time!" ♪♪ so she says, so she says ♪♪ spinning her smile 'round tohide its double meaning ♪ Mei | めいIzumi Meiki | 芽生泉SHSL Roller-Skate Waitress17 | she/her { status: dead } DR OC Blog | Affiliated with Semester of Desolation 2

[shslskatermaid]

is there anyone in this game who hasn’t stabbed mei

[superduperikebana]

Send in a ☆ to see what my muses opinion of you is!

[shslskatermaid]

Mei’s (partial) App

boop! I reworded/refined a few things here and there, and removed the Execution because I wasn’t entirely happy with it; I’ll rewrite it at a later date and post it separately!

(Mind the warnings! And don’t worry about the page count too much: I changed the font size to something larger for readability.)

In the end, a lot of things about Mei took on different priorities than expected and even grew into unexpected details, such as her memory and attention disorders, and all the different ways she felt isolated and ignored in her social life outside work; if I could rewrite her app and her early game self, I’d play her with all this in mind from the start. Ultimately, though, the changes worked in so well with what was already established that I don’t think I would play a wave 1.5 of her -- she ended up complete enough as it is.

[shslskatermaid]

that lies so far from reality

Ah, that wasn’t so bad, it only took me eight chapters and my OC dying for me to finally get my room blog done.

To reiterate, please tell me if your characters snoops around! This is so that I can inform mods, and inform you if there are any changes.

[shsl-meridian]

MONOFILE

Name: Izumi Meiki Time of Death: 9:45PM Location of Body: Picnic Area

[art by katie!]

[shsl-meridian]

Rolling Girl | Abnormal Days

The remark about the early discovery invokes memories of Haku’s death. Would you find someone hanging in the air again, their blood raining down on the poor classmate who had stumbled across them? Pushing back any disgust or trepidation you might have, you proceed anyway, making your way to the third floor.

Whether you arrive by ladder or by elevator, it isn’t long before you might notice smears of blood here and there – like a particularly macabre flavor of breadcrumbs, they seem to point the way towards the all too familiar scene of another dead teen. Once is a travesty, twice is a tragedy. Eight times is a routine. You’ve lost so many classmates now that, if you were to start counting heads, you might be able to take a stab at guessing who the hapless victim is.

(So why, then, does it feel like there’s less people around you than there should be? Even with the announced death taken into consideration?)

As you get closer to the scene of the body, it becomes impossible to miss the overwhelming presence of blood – if it’s not pooled in one place or another, it’s splattered all over the ground, the stench hanging in the air as you approach the deceased. You don’t even need to see the corpse to know that something messy has happened.

And yet you proceed anyway, until you finally catch sight of the unmoving form on the ground. It only takes one glimpse of her pink sundress to know who she is.

[ ♪ 💔 ♪ ]

You’d known her by several different names in her time here. My♡My♡Mei, sweet and clueless kitten of the café – Izumi Meiki, a fool led around her family’s schemes and whims – and yet in the end she always seemed to be just Mei. Just Mei, who stumbled on words and needed pen and paper in her hands to make her feel like she was doing something meaningful. Just Mei, who tried to pretend she was too far into the clouds to feel heartbreak, until she inevitably crashed back down to reality and let loose a storm. Just Mei, who liked her desserts so sweet they hurt the mouth, and whose favorite color was dark fuchsia because it matched her eyes.

Those same eyes are half-lidded now, staring endlessly at no spot in particular. Vacant expressions had always been a common sight on her face, but even behind that gaze were a thousand thoughts brewing into a blend even she couldn’t make sense of. Now, however, there is only a vast emptiness – whatever final idea she might have had is long extinguished. And judging by the way her mouth is set in a grimace, it had not been a peaceful end.

Though, the sheer amount of blood on her and all around her could have told you that just as easily. It’s remarkable just how much red there is on her body, even ignoring the stains and tears in her dress: Marks and lines are carved into her arms, and then there’s her feet… What even happened there?

(And how many meetings had she gone through like that? How many nights spent running all around the city?)

The past few weeks had been an unending roller coaster for Mei, with every new revelation wearing her down. And yet, she had tried to smile, even if it meant escaping from reality with parties and sleepovers. Even under the weight of everything, she had found solace playing with minnows in the pond, or doing trust games with friends to tell them about her job, or even just trying to protect a sprouting plant in her dorm. She usually approached the world in soft lazy movements – but she was always in motion.

Until now, of course. And now, you had to fulfill what she had always pleaded for everyone to do, every time you were all faced with a new mystery: You had to explain how this happened, and why. You had to understand this.

[shsl-meridian]

Neither a Picnic Nor a Walk in the Park

And for the rest of you, your first sign that things have gone awry as usual is the Mayor’s voice, soft and even as it always is.

“Hmm…it appears there’s not much point in hiding it anymore.”

A pause.

“Students, please report to the picnic area. You’ll find that someone has killed. And someone has discovered the body a bit earlier than anticipated. As such, the investigation shall begin now. Please report to the picnic area.”

But now, that same question remains: who is dead and who killed them? There’s only one way to find out.

[shsl-meridian]

The Cycle of Entropy Continues

Eleven Thirty at night. A great time to be walking out and about in an abandoned city without a care in the world… Well, maybe under normal circumstances. And if not then then definitely not in an abandoned city housed by a group of teens being made to kill each other. That is, if you’re not Nyk Archress.

For her, each step into the night was a breath of fresh air, a chance to be freed from this place. In other words, a good time for a walk to reflect upon things, and if at any moment someone chose her to be the next victim from the live student audience on the Price is Life, then so be it.

The gunslinger left her dorm. Aside from the animals, it was empty now - What did it mean to be a leader without her people to lead? Closing the door behind herself with a backwards kick, Nyk stuck her hands in her pockets and made her way to the elevator, riding it upwards. She figured she could do a walk a lap around each floor, and by the time she ended up down on the ground floor and back at her dorm, the sun might be rising. Yeah, that sounded good.

The elevator came to a stop, and for the first time in her daze, Nyk payed attention to the area around her. Stepping off her gaze flickered left and right, attention hopping from one blood splatter to the next, before she finally saw the source. Walking over to the body, Nyk deeply inhaled, closed her eyes, and rubbed the bridge of her nose. With her exhale, she returned her arms to her side and squatted down next to the corpse. She was all too used to this by now.

“Sayonara.”

After her fairwell to the recently departed, Nyk pressed the button on her phone to call the “Mayor” over. Best to just get this started… But knowing them, they were probably already on their way.

[shsl-meridian]

The Call | Mei | (ab)Normal Days

Mei wondered sometimes if Haruka minded it whenever she made the dorm open other people to sit around in. The invitations were always supposed to only last an evening or a night, yet it was still so much more activity than their dorm was used to seeing, even back in those days with Itona, or in those days with Rover. And here was Mei now, hosting sleepovers, making projects on laptops, sending out letters asking for all this and more.

(A spoonful of sugar helped the medicine go down. A spoonful of ice cream only made her sinuses ache every time she looked at the words scattered before her.)

And it was always more and always not enough. So they had letters and messages – so what? Did it really bring anyone closer to the true goal to have one question answered and two more appear in its place? It seemed hope was all they had to go on right now. And Mei, if nothing else, could ride on that wind for a little while longer. She had to, because the world would not stop turning for her, even if she wanted to stop running for a bit and rest.

- - -

When Mei had asked for more, she hadn’t meant it as an invitation for the new mayor to drop this sort of bombshell – this reminder on all their laps. Life in Meridian, routine as it had become, was still an anomaly. Somewhere out there beyond the desert was a world of cities and oceans, trees and snow, and everyone they had ever loved before now.

Mei pursed her lips together, not yet looking down, instead trying to guess as to what she’d see as she turned the keycard over between her hands again and again. There were…a lot of avenues of attack here. The old mayor had caught her off-guard once already, threatening her job when she thought she was going to hear her uncle’s voice. And then, when the memory had all but faded from her mind, he struck at her again with the cursed gift from the capsule machine. She knew that just about anything could happen now.

“Izumi-nee?”

And still, Mei didn’t expect to hear Karin Meiki of all people speaking to her.

Mei heard once that her parents had hoped to have another child one day. Instead, the closest thing she had gotten to a sibling had been her baby cousin Karin. And she truly was a baby to her, just six years old when Mei had turned her back on her uncle’s family at the airport. Even though Mei had redirected so much of her frustration at them (because Jun didn’t know, and Jun called her ungrateful for not accepting her husband’s benevolence at face value) – she shouldn’t have been mad at Karin at all. Her cousin was just a small child, siding with her beloved parents in a family rift she couldn’t possibly understand.

Except, it seemed, Karin did understand it now, to an extent.

…Something had happened at home. That much, Mei could glean from those soft and simple words Karin was mumbling. Jinsuke was gone, he had already—

—and despite every ounce of sense telling her to keep quiet and not give their newest tormentor the reaction they wanted, when the video ended abruptly with Karin’s plea for Izumi-chan to come home and do something, fix this—

“—wait, don't—!”

Mei couldn’t stop herself from gasping for a girl so far away.

(Karin had never been her sister. But she was still a kid who did not deserve to live with this. Mei hadn’t even noticed that she missed her, and yet – yet, her emotions were crashing down all around her as she suddenly realized that she and her mother hadn’t been the only ones to suffer after the poisoning. What was going to happen to Karin now? She’d have to grow up with the dark cloud of shame and betrayal over her head, just as Mei had grown up with the shadow of cold cases and unanswered mysteries.)

(Karin had not been her sister but – God, was Jun even going to take care of her? None of the people in the house had ever known what to do with Mei every time they found out something about her wasn’t what they had expected. “She seems happy enough, why bother ruining it with pills or therapy?” But she wasn’t happy and she had felt so wrong around other people, kids who didn’t forget every word they just read, girls hitting every milestone – if a mother, an uncle, and an aunt could all drop the ball so hard on Izumi, how could a single aunt possibly be there for Karin if she didn’t meet their standards, either?)

(They… Jinsuke had really screwed up this generation of their family, hadn’t he? So much for protecting the family legacy. Mei was almost grateful that whatever bad Meiki blood there was in her own body was impossible to pass on. Keyword: Almost.)

She tried to tune out the mayor’s parting words, filling her head with noise as they spoke. They still broke though, but it wasn’t as if no one could guess what they were asking for now. Shed blood for a moment of peace. Shed blood and you could – you could tell your loved one that everything was okay. You could tell them that everything was horrible, and that they needed to find you soon.

The next one to speak (or, really, grumble, but Mei had been standing close enough to hear) was Nyk, who laid out the options they had before them as a class – and this actually earned a sound of aggravation from the tense Mei as she hummed and butted into a talk she hadn’t been invited to.

“No… No. Our third option, we still have it. We need to… to end this, and then we can all go home. Find that Mastermind. Right?”

Mei had looked up from her card as she spoke, tucking it back into her bag, but she hadn’t actually made eye contact with Nyk or any one person here – she was glancing at every student in the square, studying all of them. Her gentle gaze had hardened for just a few seconds with some kind of edged emotion – frustration? …Distrust?

The moment passed, and Mei’s expression returned to that lazy, neutral look – who was she even trying to fool now, pretending to be apathetic? Maybe it was just the way her face rested. Things like anger and misery always looked so grotesque and alien on her anyway, and not just because Mei could be a messy cryer if she went on too long.

“…Let’s work hard, alright?”

And with that encouraging little smile directed at everyone and no one, Mei nodded, turned away from the gathering, and left the square.

[shsl-meridian]

Kill The Lights | Mei | (ab)Normal Days

[ TW: Underage alcohol use ]

Mei wasn’t sure who she was mourning for as the pair of thieves were whisked away to the city rooftops. What she was certain of, however, was the injustice of it all. Why were they being treated as one entity? What would have happened the survivor if the other one was murdered? She couldn’t claim to be fond of Saki at all, not after that stunt she pulled, but – but why did she have to die for something her sister did?

Which brought Mei to the worst part of this: Tsuki was being punished just for taking out their captor, the one who had tormented and abused and manipulated them all for weeks. If it wasn’t going to be her, it was going to be Rover, or any one of them in this room right now – no matter what, someone had to die for this. Monobear’s death should have been the end of it – it would still be too late to save Kimi and Mitsusuke, granted, but there was no reason for a trial! There was no reason for an execution!

But the game continued. A new person walked in out of the blue, declared themself acting mayor, and made sure there was blood paid back for blood.

Even if the class were to each that fabled goal, get a vote going and choose the right person – would that really be the end of things? Mei had her doubts.

Mei wasn’t sure which Starre she worried about as she fell into the crack in their world, sent away in a hailstorm of bullets – and she wasn’t sure which Starre she mourned for as she stood there arms spread, as if boasting “Here I am, come and get me! You’ll never catch me alive, coppers!” to the oncoming cannonball. All she knew was that when the screen went dark and left behind only some indescribable crushing, splattering noise, her chest ached with every ugly feeling that had plagued her ever since they were summoned up to see the Mayor’s body.

If anyone here still wanted to talk about things being fair and unfair, they were a fool. And Mei considered herself queen of the fools.

(A part of her hoped – hoped beyond all reason that the Starre who clung the boundary between city and forest might have been safe, that maybe if Mei charged into the forest right now, gun aimed at every beast that dared look at her wrong…)

(But she knew her limits. She knew very well what could go wrong if she wandered into the forest. Once upon a time Mei had been willing to risk it, but now – now, even with her new weapon, she didn’t think she could…)

(…her plan had been to rely on other people to keep her safe in the forest. She’d have brought along people stronger than her who could pull her back up if she fell, or could take the gun themselves and turn it on whatever might be chasing them.)

(Her plan had been to ask Starre and Mitsu for help.)

And before Mei could try to grab hold of that plan – bend it and mold it and reshape it into something that would actually work—

—the incoherent sobbing of a girl who had just lost her love reshaped themselves into disturbing words.

Kayoko was crying, screaming for someone to help her, to come back so that she didn’t have to be alone again. She was crying for her sister, for—

…for Kayoko herself?

Mei didn’t understand. She couldn’t possibly get it.

What she was certain of, however, was that Kayoko did not need to be alone. What she knew was that in Mei’s lowest moments, with the words of a terrible man who claimed he had treated her like a daughter still rattling her to her core, Kayoko had knelt by Mei and brought her back out of her spiral.

Mei could never be certain what to do, but that didn’t stop her from laying her gun onto the ground and walking towards Kayoko, kneeling at her side just as she had for Mei weeks onto. It didn’t stop her from taking Kayoko into her arms and just holding her, even as leaned into her limply, exhausted.

She would stay in the trial room for a long time, still sitting there and holding Kayoko. Mei would stay behind, sitting around, listening to any last-minute confessions and observations and commands. Listening to whatever Kayoko might whisper with the last of her strength. Mei was silent saw she sat there, listening, thinking. Staring at the emptiness in the room as students slowly filed out. Staring at her hands, wrapped around a dear friend’s shoulders so carefully as if she were made of brittle glass – even though just a short time ago it was with these same trembling hands that Mei had nearly shot a girl dead.

Even if it seemed like Mei had been spacing out, there was still something going on deep behind that blank, weary expression. Even if Mei could only handle a few thoughts at once in the forefront of her mind, there was always the buzzing background noise of a thousand others, ready to replace her current thought at any given moment. Even if she struggled to remember words sometimes – Mei was still able to observe, and to plan.

She would stay seated right where she was, until the replacement mayor told her to get out, and take that sad girl and the weird gremlin with her. Awkwardly and slowly, Mei packed her things to the best of her ability and led her trio out, her and Kayoko and Kimi.

(There was no way putting that rifle in her shoulder bag like that was safe.)

- - -

(Mei wished she could feel more than just some token remorse and shame as she scavenged through a dresser that had belonged to a couple of dead girls.)

- - -

And Isamu caught her as she was about to drink herself into oblivion. Mei had fantasized about getting herself lost deep inside the maze, bottle in one hand and camera in the other, mind bubbling over with unbound ideas as she tried to knock over sandbags until she found something good.

At least with Isamu around, she became self-conscious enough to dial it back a bit, making do with just a few shots and a quick nap in the laser tag preparation room while she waited for him to show up.

…it was really for the best that she had been mostly sober for what the two of them stumbled across.

- - -

(Mei wasn’t sure what to do anymore, except to scream every sin and secret that didn’t belong to her out on the rooftops.)

(But, like, in a secretive way. There were some people she could not trust with this information, after all. Not anymore.)

[shsl-meridian]

たとえ世界の全てが | Mei | Monobear Theater (re: sisters)

Before she had ever been a lover or a mother, Tsukiko Mizuno had been a sister.

She rarely delved this far into her past when talking to her daughter, for the stories about Shioko always carried a note of tragedy in them. But from what Izumi had gathered, the two girls had been nigh inseparable, always dragging each other by the hands. Though their styles of dress were different (sporty and pink Shioko, dark and demure Tsukiko), the sisters were nearly identical in all other aspects – Shioko’s nose was a bit crooked where it had healed, a reminder of the time she had gotten in a fistfight with someone who was bullying her dear twin.

When they were six years old, their family was torn apart, all because of a faulty, dirty heater. Tsukiko had been quarantined to the front room at the time, sick with a flu, and their mother had been out with her because she had been so fussy and miserable. When they awoke from an unrestful sleep, it had already been too late – the house was engulfed in fire.

Narumi had been close enough to the front door to simply grab Tsukiko and run. Shioko and Terumasa were trapped further inside, having been asleep in their own bedrooms.

Tsukiko was not allowed to see the bodies – just as Izumi would not be allowed to see hers, decades later.

Mei did not break her gaze, and when someone offered her aid it took her a few seconds to realize it was Shigure’s voice. She couldn’t be sure what exactly he was doing now, but from the word “shots” she could conclude she hadn’t been the only one with a firearm.

He had said that anyone standing close to Starre needed to get away as soon as possible, but – Mei was only feet away, mere inches, the distance almost completely bridged with the barrel of a rifle. Even if Mei didn’t believe her legs would just crumble into dust the moment she tried to move, she was simply too close, too dangerous for Starre to let her go. So Mei dug her heels into the floor and stood as firm as her trembling body would let her. If this was happening – her only hope was to talk her down, somehow—

For a fleeting second, she thought maybe she had reached Starre – she couldn’t read the expression under her mask, but she could understand stammering, the way she was trying to explain, much too late, but still an answer for why it had to come down to this – Mei was about to nod, keep her going, keep her talking, until—

—someone from the direction of the elevator was pleading for everyone to stop.

The voice felt too familiar.

Mei did not immediately let down her guard, until someone had rushed right in, grabbing Starre’s hands and slipping the pin back into the grenade – at the same time, Mei had reflexively stepped back (her weakened right foot seemed to slip and it was only by bashing and bracing her back onto Rover’s podium that she was able to stay standing) and kept her gun still aimed at her – them – until she processed the sight before her, the heavy scent of blood, and—

Mei’s arms sent slack, lowering the gun as the static in her brain lifted, her memories returning to her with horrible clarity.

Starre and Mei were trying to follow the plan, play coy and try to charm out a straight answer from Monobear. Except – they had pushed him too far. And Starre had been the unlucky one who last spoke – his smooth, venomous response was aimed right at her.

“How’s yer family, kid? Ya mom, dad, brothers… sister, too. It’d be pretty suck-y, o ‘course, if somethin’ happened to them.”

He stepped in close to Starre, pressing a finger to her forehead and pushing her back lightly, a sadistic smile stretched on his face.

“’cause ya’d be all alone.”

And he winked.

“Wanna keep talkin’, sis?”

- - -

Mei had to repeat her request before Starre was willing to remove her long-sleeved shirt. True to her unspoken word she did not try to ask for any more, and Mei instead stuck to silently looking her arms over, noting that they were completely clear of injury. Any at all.

“You’ve healed up… really, really well! Not even a mark… I’m jealous.”

Mei was, of course, referring to when the mayor had shot at her just a few trials ago, cutting a wound right across Starre’s shoulder.

…It shouldn’t have healed that fast. Mei still remembered scissor blades on her shoulder and chest and hips, and she remembered weeks and weeks of reopening wounds whenever she moved wrong, blood spots staining the inside of her clothes. There wasn’t a single mark on Starre’s skin, however, not a scab or a scar to be seen.

“…Ah, thank you…”

But that was all the explanation Mei was going to get. She could see that Starre was tense and uncomfortable with the subject, so she just let it slip for the time being and tried to focus on the case at hand, though the wild, fantastic explanations for why she healed so quickly still crept in the crevices of her mind.

(So distracted she was by the discovery that Mei forgot to ask why there were blood stains on Starre’s jacket.)

- - -

Starre had been confused when Mei mentioned the safe, the very same safe that Starre herself had discussed with her just the day before. Mei assumed it was only because she had spoken too fast – she would have been far from the first person caught off guard by Mei bringing up old talks with no context. The one-sided argument quickly jumped to another track entirely, and there was no further mention of the safe.

- - -

“Mei, the very fact that I can exist is because I’m always hiding things.”

- - -

Two bare wig heads. Mei fixated on the single implication that she had any wigs, and did not focus enough on why she needed two.

It had been in front of Mei the entire time.

If she had – tried to pull any threads – had she been just a bit more thorough, a bit louder and bolder, could she have—!?

(Unlikely. Mei had little trouble revealing her real name, but the secrets of her family – those were the sorts of tales that would destroy everything you lived for if they were revealed. Except… Mei was someone who could, hypothetically, return to being Izumi, and vice versa. Maybe not now, with so much poison in her heart, but even if she ran away to the other side of the world, she’d still be Mei. Izumi. Both of them, because the only boundaries between her two names were a waitress uniform and a layer of concealer.)

(Unlike her, the only way Starre could exist was if Sakiko and Tsukiko – did not.)

Here was what Mei knew:

Tsukiko had not denied her of her anger. She defended herself without resorting to calling Mei names, and she confided in her just one facet of her secret – a name, something that clung in Mei’s chest no matter how silly it was for her to get sentimental over it. And Tsukiko had been willing to make a stand and cut down the mayor, even though the plan had gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Sakiko had cursed them all for shying away from Rover, even when she herself had called them all idiots for thinking he could have held the chainsaw, and then pulled a grenade on everyone for believing in that.

Beyond those two points, Mei did not know who Starre had ever been. Who had offered a brief night of solace in the observatory? Who had told the story of crashing a birthday party just so a little girl could see her idol in person? Who had tried to save Naoya, and who had tried to save Yuka?

She did know that no one was supposed to die here for killing one of their captors.

Mei took a few more shaking steps away, stopping just between Yutaka’s podium and Hinata’s, and watched with those same stunned, wide eyes as the sisters clung to each other and wept, and as Kayoko hurried to Sakiko and apologized for what had happened. Mei’s rifle had been lowered a long time ago, pointing listlessly at the floor, but she had no presence of mind to actually let go and set it down anywhere. Instead, she tried to pool up what was left of her nerve into her voice – her body felt so weak and fatigued, but she could at least say one thing.

“…My offer still – if you want to try and… then my gun is yours. St—Tsukiko—thank you. For… I don’t know. Sorry.”

(She hadn’t deliberately failed to address Sakiko – she simply didn’t know what to say to a person who had been technically innocent, yet was still willing to take them all down with her.)

(Hard to show gratitude or remorse to someone after the two of you shoved weapons in each other’s faces.)

[shsl-meridian]

Children of the Moon | Mei | Monobear Theater [ATTN: ███████]

Mei had just been so sick of it all.

She really just wanted to work on talking. Doing exactly what had been asked of them on that observatory wall.

It seemed no one wanted to do more than a few half-hearted questions. They had been so focused on the case before them – but, who could really blame them? There was a lot at stake with Rover involved. Beloved, bratty, lucky, hypocritical, scared Rover. An endless dilemma, even when not present.

Truth: Mei did not want to kill Rover.

Truth: Mei did not want to kill Starre.

Theory: Rover was not the murderer here because no one had spoken up to sell him out.

Truth: Mei honestly did not give a shit who killed the mayor, personally. They were a hero to her and she wanted to protect them.

The votes started to tally up – Mei bit her lip at the corrupted name, because why hadn’t it…? But, most importantly – the push for a Mastermind vote had failed. That…was bad. But not a game-ender. They could still talk, and investigate, and if all went well—

Her left ear began ringing with a fell voice.

Mei looked to her side just in time to see a grenade mere feet away from her face.

Surprisingly, Mei did not scream. It was usually only auditory shocks that could startle her that badly, after all. Still, she choked – there was a cry of “Kimicchi, run!”, even though she wasn’t sure if she had returned yet from whatever it was that she had wanted to see. Mei didn’t look down to see, her eyes transfixed on Starre as she laid out her desperate demands, futile ones if the pin was already out—

Mei was not counting time.

(she could never)

She broke the stare only once, to affirm that her bag was still on her podium, and reached in, snatching an unopened capsule from the machine—

(she could never hate)

—she jabbed her thumb into the seam, cracking it open, and immediately shifted both hands to grasp on the prize—

(she could never hate a—)

“Tsukiko Akatsuka!”

And there Mei stood, empty capsule halves discarded by her foot. In her hands, balanced on her hip, she held the so-called gift she had once offered to allow the old mayor’s killer to use for their escape – now a gift pointed right at that same person.

AK-47 ….what. What the fuck. This is an assault rifle. Sure, you’re in America and not Japan, but that’s still probably, like, illegal or something. It’s even got a set of rounds in it. Better hide this one…

It was clear Mei didn’t know how to hold it properly, but she held it nonethless.

“P-Put that down. Stop it. You don’t – really – Kayochan? Would you kill her? Would you really?”

Mei was not thinking. She was not counting time, not seconds nor minutes. She was simply acting, the thousands of thoughts in her brain blending into static.

“I-I’m not afraid. I don’t – have a home – gonna lose my job – never going back to that man…! I-I can’t go-o-o back, got nothing, I’m not afraid of you…!”

She absolutely was. Eyes wide, voice wavering, hands trembling – how could she be anything but?

But Izumi Meiki would not die here. Not without one last fight.

“Li-Li-Listen to me, Starre. Everything – y-you can still – I told you, I w-wanna help you. You could’ve – had my gun – fought your way out! There’s no need for this so please just put that down put it away I don’t want to die I don’t want to shoot you…!”

What good would killing her now do anyway? Assuming they somehow disarmed the grenade (which was taking its sweet time, not that Mei could even process the implications of that), Mei would be the one in the executioner’s chair instead. What if Mei shot it…?

Though, with such shaking hands and a completely incorrect handling posture, it’d be a wonder if Mei could even hit the person right in front of her.

She aimed the rifle nonetheless, breathing wildly, hyperventilating, and waiting.

“Talk to me.”

[shsl-meridian]

It's not clear if the choking noises from Mei is gasping or laughter, or if she's even paying attention to her hand right now, but she suddenly slams it onto on the voting panel and switches the culprit vote to - Butterscotch? "Don't call me an idiot. I know I am, but don't."

Vote recorded! Yeehaw!

[shsl-meridian]

Kuusou Rumba | Mei | School Trial (re: Kayoko, Isamu, all??)

Just how did Mei’s reminder get twisted into another move against Rover?

“That isn’t my point, Starre-kun, I’m not saying give up and default to him, I’m saying I—”

No, Mei, you don’t know what you’re saying anymore. You’re spouting out everything that comes to your head in the hopes it will move someone’s heart enough to make them say what you want them to say.

“—I know I’d say I’d help, but I can’t do that if I can’t get to him, I have the – I’d have to – I don’t think I could get this to him—”

Whatever “this” was would go unanswered for a while longer. Mei tried busying herself with movement: Taking back her notepad, lifting Kimi and setting her to the floor (she had seemed very interested in moving somewhere), and reading and re-reading short words on her arm – by now the ink smudging from the night’s wear and tears.

It seemed they were about to run right into a stalemate.

Mei was searching for something, anything, a single thing to latch onto. As it was there were too many good points popping up – there were too many what ifs and uncertainties, too many worst case scenarios that would end it all—

Kayoko spoke and added on so, so many more of those same points, enough to goad Mei’s hand back over her voting controls – but Mei paused, leaving it hovering there.

“…it…makes sense. A-And I know that. I know… I hate it, but I know why we – why it’s so dangerous – so why…!?

If it really was Rovakun, why hasn’t the third person spoken up yet?

Y-Y'know what’ll happen, right!? If you’re hiding something like that, it doesn’t matter if you’re trying to save yourself or not by washing your hands of it – you are going to die anyway. Everyone is. Everything you did tonight is for nothing. This is why I asked you to stop fucking hiding things! So it didn’t have to turn into this!

So, if the third person didn’t directly kill anyone, if it was Rovakun or even Mitsukun – why haven’t they said anything!?”

Ah. So it seemed Mei was done with politeness, after all. She looked – genuinely furious, not at any one person – not at Kayoko and Starre, or at Haruka and Chiyo. Just at the situation itself, even as she moved to change her vote.

“…the password I saw, by the way, was unity. I-I don’t know if that’s the maze password, haven’t tried, but – if we do the voting, and if we get it wrong – you’ll find me in the maze trying it. You can make me pay then.”

A sad, nervous chuckle, devoid of any humor.

(But in spite of what she just said she would not die there. Even in her lowest moments, Izumi Meiki refused to die here.)

“…I’ve also! Found numbers. 20-17-4. Don’t know where they go.”

[shsl-meridian]

For the time being, Mei votes for herself, but says yes to a Mastermind vote.

Vote recorded! Yeehaw!

[shsl-meridian]

+REVERSE | Mei + ???? | School Trial (ATTN: All)

Mei had not joined the heart of the debate, instead regarding it all with discomfort.

(She and Starre had just reached an understanding days ago, after all, and Mei was inclined to trust her all because of the most ridiculous reason—)

When Haruka snatched away the notepad, Mei’s expression crumpled, a hand running to the inked words and outlines on her arm as she rubbed at her skin nervously.

“—i need that—”

(It had become her lifeline, the only thing that could keep her functioning anywhere close to the same level as the rest. Her head could fit both everything and nothing, and she needed this if she wanted to be able to pick vital information out of the jumbled mess of memories and thoughts.)

She leaned over to peek at what Haruka had written, grimaced and looked to watch Haruka’s back as she returned yet again to her podium, and glanced back worriedly to her left, at Starre as composed as she could be and Kayoko sounding so drained, because how could she not be? After everything tonight, how else was Kayoko supposed to react to a threat on yet another friend’s life? How was Mei supposed to act, stuck right in the middle of it all as she watched half the people she cared about go at each other’s throats? The best she could do was talk aimlessly, not knowing what point she was trying to make – a defense, or a condemnation?

“I… don’t remember hearing her keycard either. But that – doesn’t prove much, right? She could have – Rovakun’s in the forest too, so couldn’t she have tried to go with him – and then they got separated—? H-His – the blurry photo – it looked… the colors weren’t. A good sign. I thought maybe he was bleeding. Maybe he was – maybe there was a monster, and…”

Morbid. Mei didn’t look at all comfortable with the theory that Rover was injured on top of being missing. But she pressed on anyway, talking out loud and trying to express one idea after another.

“There’s just one thing we have to remember – no, two. Many more than that but I can only juggle two right now.

First, we – I am not remotely in the vicinity of playing games right now with this, because Rovakun’s involved. I-I’m not saying anything bad, I like him and I want him to be safe and okay and I hope he’s doing well, but – but he still has a credit. And if… If your plan went horribly wrong – if we get it horribly wrong – we’ll all die. You and me and the rest. So, don’t drag this out, please.

I-I don’t want this. Any of it. I want Rovakun safe, I want Mitsukun back… I don’t want to accuse Starre-kun or anyone else here, because! I am so damn happy that bastard is gone! I-I want to know what happened, but I don’t want to do the vote! We shouldn’t be trying to lynch anyone, w-we should be making a break for freedom!

…I have an offer to make to you, third-person-who-did-this. A gift. A weapon. But only if I know for sure what happened tonight, to Mitsukun and to that mayor. I-If you really never laid a hand on Mitsukun… I’ll help you.”

Mei swallowed, and coughed, and tried to steel her throat once more. She had prayed that it would never come down to something like this, but…better someone else use it than her, at least.

“Second offer, if everyone’s willing to take it. I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to take another chance with a Mastermind vote because if we flub it and we’re down to just one then everything will become so much worse and I will take responsibility for that – so all that said I think we should consider a vote. Did I say it already? Sorry if I’m redundant.”

Focus, Mei. She… She could do this without her notepad for now, even if the finer details were lost to the fog, even if her expression was so strained she seemed like she could break once again with just one wrong push.

“I keep hearing the same names – no, name, singular – I can't…say for certain if that person really is as suspect as others claim, I barely know anything, but he – supposedly, he tried to hurt Ohara-kun. Maybe even kill him. I don’t care what you think about him and the other two, there’s no reason to do that!”

(Other two?)

She was speaking rapidly once more, even through the tension in her voice. Was it going to snap apart at any moment, just as Haruka’s had?

“And I’ve been in the file cabinets, seventh floor archives. There are so so many things up there and I read the words and I can still remember them – superior temporal gyrus – the AI chips are in the brain—”

The what was in whose brain!?

Mei was too caught up in her momentum to take a moment to explain what she was ranting about. Instead, she banged her left arm onto the top of her podium, revealing green ink etched all over it – she traced a finger around the outline of some unknown object, jagged on the edges and about the size of a dime.

“—there was more. My head – no, my notepad, my head is never a good place – it has numbers and passwords and key locations, and what I’m missing the most is the name of a person, someone who made all this happen—! But I keep hearing one name come up second- and third-hand, and I can’t take a chance on that all by myself so we have to talk – shun the vote if you have to but we can’t ignore it, it’s only getting worse and look at what happened to—”

Mei suddenly knelt down behind her podium and swiftly – but gently – lifted her shoulderbag onto the surface for her podium for all to see.

A yellow-furred head with a bare and human face was poking out the top of the bag, staring back out at every person in the class.

(It swiveled around the trial once – twice – three times before the creature to which it was attached began trying to climb out of the bag: slowly, nose twitching, eyes blank and wide as headlights – )

( – Before they fell, by chance, on one of the creature’s own paws – and then snapped back up to look at the crowd.)

( – Only then did the creature cover its face with its paws. A cartoonish attempt at damage control, something like running off a cliff and then trying to scramble back onto it only after having noticed the empty air beneath one’s feet.) (Its ears, meanwhile, continued periscoping.)

“She was in the kitchen tonight, a-and – I’d been asking the mayor about her and he didn’t give me a straight answer but I think I know now – this is Kimicchi.”

And this time Kimicchi was – a little quicker on the uptake. She uncovered her face at the sound of the name, and immediately resumed her efforts to climb out of the bag; and once she had gotten her feet firmly planted on the podium, a second later, she scanned the room once again – this time making an effort to make eye contact with anyone and everyone looking at her.

(“Staring” at her? “Gawking”? Whichever! EITHER WAY! – )

– She offered them a grin, or some attempt at one, and – a small twirl and flourish of her arms. A gesture something like: ta-da! Voila! ~BEHOLD:~ a rabbit from the hat!

( – She wouldn’t let her expression falter.)

“She – we’ve been struggling to communicate, only numbers and yes-or-no work well – but the mayor said she got lost in the forest, and now I see her coming out like this – this is why we need to end it soon. Now, if possible. It’s only getting worse, our bodies are not our own anymore, if they ever were the whole time we were here, and—”

—and the next words made her feel ill just saying it. It was bordering dangerously close to the ways Jinsuke Meiki had guilted her—

“—if we spend all our time here just struggling with the case and not even talking about the Mastermind – everything that was done tonight – it will mean nothing.”

—but just as much as he had once been her parent, she had once been his child.

[shsl-meridian]

Love Lies Bleeding | Haruka + Mei | Chapter 7: Trial 002 [RE: Michiyo, Mei, Starre, Chiyo, Kayoko] [ATTN: All]

(It didn’t…)

Rover was alive.

(It didn’t-)

The place was called Shinai.

(It didn’t-)

There was a buzzing sound coming from her trial neighbor’s mouth.

(She didn’t-!)

When Mitsusuke went tumbling down like something out of a grotesque nursery rhyme, Haruka simply watched. What else could she even do? She didn’t know a thing about robotics, didn’t know what was even happening, what good could she do beyond watch as the seconds moved by and she stood still? 

He clung to his podium, then to hers, and then he was crashing to the floor and she was left trying to catch her breath. There wasn’t time to, she found, before her keycard was pinging and air was rushing out of her in another scratchy scream.

“WHAT THE FUCK?”

It was, quite frankly, all she could think of to say at the moment. A pile of realizations and news had been dumped at her feet in the span of seconds, and she knew now she was expected to know how to react. She was expected to know how to feel, and know what to do because this was the seventh time now, the seventh time they’d stood in that terrible awful room. Maybe she should know by now, but really, she didn’t know, she didn’t know what to do or say or feel, she didn’t and she couldn’t just make everything easier-

(Trying to sort out each individual feeling, each tiny thrill followed by a swooping plummet, was impossible. That she knew.

And when she opened her mouth to speak again, all that came out was an airy squeak that trailed into silence because that final scream was the breaking point. That she knew too.

And it was easier, ultimately, to fall back on feelings she did know, as twisted and out of place she knew they were. Now wasn’t the time - but she didn’t know what to do with herself otherwise, and she knew she needed to do something, so this - this is what she thought she knew, at least.)

Hands curled into fists and teeth ground together, Haruka slung her backpack off her shoulders and let it drop unceremoniously to the ground. She was quick to follow it’s descent, crouching down and digging through it as if there was not, in fact, a dead body just mere feet away from her - as if the very being who died did not crash into her own podium in his dying moments even. She dug ruthlessly through the contents of her backpack, and when it didn’t offer up whatever she was hoping to find, her lungs shook out a sigh that bordered on a snarl.

The zipper was tugged closed, backpack pulled back onto her shoulders, and just as she was about to step away from her podium-

Stopped midturn, she glanced back to where Kayoko sat, hurting and tear stained.

(She knew-)

When she crouched down for the second time, her backpack slipped off her shoulders in a gentler fashion. She placed the bag on the ground before tugging off the flannel she wore, revealing the “cool kids never die” t-shirt she had on underneath. Tugging the rolled sleeves down, she offered the shirt and a shoulder squeeze to Kayoko in silence.

It would seem that, for now, actions would have to speak a little louder than words.

She stayed crouched like that only long enough to share with each other a look, and then Haruka was moving once more. With each step did the gentle softness she’d just worn get shed off, and by the time she made it to Mei’s podium, she was back to teeth clicking and curling fingers. Though she looked to Mei first, there was little hesitation before she snatched the notepad and one of the pens on Mei’s podium towards herself and began to write.

And even though Mei was shouting in her ear-

And even though she was sure that would finally make her head pop-

And even though it hurt more than in a physical sense to listen-

(She knew it wasn’t-)

There was a pause in Mei’s words, and a pause in Haruka’s, and she finally glanced up long enough to actually look at Mei. The pen caught in her tight grasp was put gently down on the notepad, uncurled fingers reaching over to swipe away several of the green-tinted tears still clinging to Mei’s face, as if that was the reason Haruka had walked over at all.

It was certainly not with grit teeth and a scowl on her face that Haruka looked at Mei.

Searching Mei’s face briefly, Haruka turned back to her own personal project, writing only another line or two more before carefully pushing the notepad towards Mei. She tapped at the page, looked at Mei, and waited to see if she understood what she was asking.

When Mei moved to speak - only then did Haruka look back to the rest of the class.

“…I-I—”

Mei coughed, wet and wheezing. There was even a none-too-elegant sniffle involved. Ew.

“Ha-Haruchan has things to say. I’m – trying. Will try reading.”

It took more of Mei struggling to clear her throat before she was willing to even give it a shot, and she was leaning onto her podium for support. Her only saving grace was that the words were already written out for her – reciting someone else’s thoughts were easier than trying to translate her own into a speech. Mei’s difficulties came from the physical strain of her yelling; her voice was constantly breaking apart, splitting into fragments and stammers. Every sentence was taken slowly.

(Notably, she didn’t seem to have much difficulty swearing so much – whether it was because they were not her own words, or because she had slipped beyond caring – that remained to be seen.)

“…there was a fort'n the office. It was made of… of sheets a-and shit so that’s probably where the missing ones went. That’s where the snacks and shit were too. I dunno about the plates… And I don’t… give a shit about the plates. Because y'know what? There was a drawing inside the fort that showed the entrance of stupid…stupid Shinai—”

Mei swallowed and paused, mumbling the word again to herself silently a few times before she continued.

“…Shinai. Or whatever it’s called, I don’t really give a shit. And it looked like Rover’s writing. But there was someone else’s writing too. I don’t know who’s but if it’s yours…spit it out and say so –  cuz otherwise you’re suspicious for not admitting to it – a-a-and I swear I will totally vote for your ass if we find out it’s your writing and you didn’t say so.

I… I guess there’s, like, a chance it could be Abiko’s. But seeing as he’s currently… dead – if anyone knows what his handwriting looks like, come over here and look at the stupid picture on my stupid keycard – that’s, um, Haruchan’s, not me, I never… ah, anyway – if you saw the drawing and saw the writing and recognized that…that works too. Whatever. E-Either way there are two sets of handwriting we need to be looking for. I guess that’s my – her – our point.

…for the record there was a… a baseball bat. In that cabinet with the chainsaw. And there was bloody handprints on the ladder between the…seventh and sixth floor. …prints.Two hands. Left and right one. So probably Abiko’s. There was blood in the elevator too.

And no, I didn’t see anything around the times put on the paper thing.

And… what are the chances the numb stuff was tranquilizer? Just a thought.

…That’s it.”

That was it. Mei had been slumping forward the whole time, as it it had taken much of her energy just to talk that long with no break. She glanced up and away from the notepad, though she didn’t look at anyone in particular – in fact, her eyes seemed a bit glazed over, and she mumbled again as she spoke, this time for herself.

“…don’t know anything about the fort m'self. Or the weapons. Sorry.”

When Mei finished speaking - only then did Haruka look back to her with the grimmest of smiles. 

She reached over, scribbling something on the notepad once more before taking one of Mei’s hands and squeezing it as gently as she knew how.

(She knew it wasn’t really an answer anymore, getting angry, but it was what she thought she knew at least.)