Izuki Shun's Puns

Good job, me.

[shunspuns]

[in the changeroom after practice]

Hyuga: Anybody have anything interesting to share today?

Kagami: I saw a kitten fall into a pot hole today.

Izuki: What a pity!

[shunspuns]

[in home economics class]

Hyuga: [screaming]

Koganei: Why is Hyuga screaming?

Tsuchida: He burned his hand while taking his bread loaf out of the oven.

Izuki: That must have been painful.

[shunspuns]

[in class]

Izuki: [staring at a wall clock]

Izuki: [thinking to himself] Whoa, did the clock's hand just go back four seconds?

Izuki: It must be hungry.

[shunspuns]

[in the changeroom]

Izuki: You know how they only allow indoor shoes and running shoes at our school?

Hyuga: Yeah?

Izuki: Someday I want to become a ninja.

Kiyoshi: Why?

Izuki: Then I can wear my sneakers all the time.

[shunspuns]

[in the changeroom]

Hyuga: Izuki, hurry up!

Izuki: Wait, I'm reading a book on anti-gravity.

Hyuga: ...

Izuki: It's impossible to put down.

[shunspuns]

[during practice]

Kagami: I just had a thought.

Hyuga: A rare occurrence, but what is it?

Kagami: Wouldn't it be great if you could fly in basketball? It would make things so much easier.

Izuki: What an uplifting thought! I think your ability to freeze time is already pretty cool, though.

[shunspuns]

[during the basketball club sign-ups]

Kagami: Basketball's the same, no matter where you go in Japan.

Kagami: [crunches cup up]

Kagami: [throws it over his shoulder into the garbage bin]

Kagami: [walks away]

Koganei: He's terrifying! Is he really just a first-year?

Izuki: He's one in a million. On the other hand, that was litter-ally the best throw I've ever seen in my life.

[shunspuns]

[10 years later] Izuki [texting]: Hyuga! I got a job at Kosher Dill Spears! Hyuga [texting]: Why are you telling me this? Izuki: Won't you congratulate me? Hyuga: ...congrats? Izuki: That's the spear-it! Izuki: Hey, that could be our new company slogan! Man, good job, me!

And soon this was a thing

[shunspuns]

[during breaktime]

Furihata: Is anyone here dressing up for Halloween?

Kuroko: Yeah.

Kiyoshi: I am.

Riko: Totally.

Kagami: I'm going as a ghost.

Kawahara: That's so classic.

Tsuchida: Not to mention simple.

Izuki: Boo you, Kagami.

[shunspuns]

[at practice]

Hyuga: So, the next practice will be-

Hyuga: Oh...ah-

Kuroko: Captain?

Hyuga: Gotta...ah...AH-CHOOOOOOO!

Hyuga: [glasses fly off]

Izuki: [dives and catches them before they drop]

Izuki: You know Hyuga, I fell for you. You should be more aware of what I do for you.

Hyuga: ...Thanks.

Koganei: Was that not a confession??

[shunspuns]

[on the way to school]

Izuki: Hyuga, look, it's a seagull!

Hyuga: [looks up]

Hyuga: [seagull poops on him]

Hyuga: YOU LITTLE SHIT!

Izuki: Aha, nice one Hyuga! Things are pun when you get mad.

Hyuga: Let me show you a little pun, then.

[shunspuns]

[entering the gym]

Izuki: O-pun the door.

Hyuga: And while we're at it, shut your mouth.

[shunspuns]

[after practice]

Furihata: [sighs]

Hyuga: What's wrong, Furihata?

Furihata: Halloween is coming up, and I don't know what to dress as.

Kawahara: What about an angel? Actually, scratch that.

Fukuda: A grim reaper would be cool.

Hyuga: Well, whatever you choose, it will never be as bad as Izuki's.

Furihata: What is Izuki dressing up as?

Izuki: I'm dressing like a pumpkin.

Fukuda: A pumpkin?

Izuki: A pun king pumpkin.

Furihata: A part of me has been slightly relieved.

[shunspuns]

A bonus, here’s the music that Izuki was talking about in the last post, in case you were wondering.

[shunspuns]

[at training camp]

Seirin: [all asleep]

Hyuga's phone: [starts playing trumpet music]

Izuki [now up]: Gee, Hyuga. That's a horny alarm you got there.

Hyuga [also up]: Shut up!

[shunspuns]

[after practice]

Kagami: [tries to throw his garbage in a trash can]

Kagami: [misses]

Izuki: Wasted.

[shunspuns]

[in the second Seirin High v.s. Kirisaki Daīchi High game]

Kiyoshi: [gets kicked in the knee and falls]

Hyuga: Kiyoshi!

Kagami and Kuroko: Kiyoshi-senpai!

Izuki: Get him ice! He needs ice!